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The Price of Saying Goodbye: Insights from a Funeral Director

16m · Good Grief · 04 Aug 17:56

In this month's episode, Amber and Pete explore the often-misunderstood topic of funeral costs and the crucial role of funeral directors in managing the intricacies of the funeral process. They discuss the perception of families regarding the costs and how funeral directors handle this sensitive issue.

Amber provides insights into the professional needs that contribute to the costs, such as their time, education, and overall expertise. They also highlight the significance of a funeral director's presence in alleviating stress and maintaining respect throughout the process. 

Additionally, Amber shares about the post-funeral aftercare services they offer, ensuring families have the necessary resources to navigate their grief.

Join them for an enlightening conversation on the mission of funeral directors and the complexities of funeral costs. Takeaways:

  1. There are a lot of factors that contribute to funeral costs, including the time, education, and expertise required by funeral directors. 
  2. The presence of a compassionate funeral director can greatly reduce stress for grieving families and ensure a respectful and meaningful funeral process.

In this episode:

[1:30] Amber and Pete talk about the main mission of funeral directors in handling all the details of the funeral process and how they deal with the perceptions of the families regarding the costs.

[3:09] Amber provides an insight into the costs they have to deal with, highlighting the professional needs. She expounds on the time, education, and expertise their profession entails which contribute to the costs involved in providing comprehensive funeral services.

[7:30] Pete asks Amber how many people usually work on the whole funeral process. Amber explains how everyone in their team of six directors, pre planning specialists, and office administrators get highly involved in the intricacies of the process.

[11:10] Pete talks about how the presence of a funeral director can take away the stress from the grieving families and make the process more respectful. Amber adds that there are cremation services that do not proceed with the process without the guidance and involvement of a funeral director.

[12:59] Amber shares about the post funeral aftercare services they offer such as sending out cards, text messages, inviting the families to grief support groups, and making sure they have all the resources they need to process their grief peacefully.

Resources:

  • O'Connell Family Funeral Homes
  • Amber Miller
  • Dos and Don'ts Guide
  • Read Show Transcript

Quotes

  1. “We’re diligent about trying to take everything off your plate so you can focus on your own grief and healing.” - Amber Miller

The episode The Price of Saying Goodbye: Insights from a Funeral Director from the podcast Good Grief has a duration of 16:23. It was first published 04 Aug 17:56. The cover art and the content belong to their respective owners.

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Who says it’s too late to be talking about horror?

In this month’s episode, Pete and Amber explore how death, dying, and funerals are depicted in the media. Amber, with her penchant for horror movies, offers a unique perspective, revealing the dual aspects of death in cinematic and television narratives—between the gruesome and the serene. As the conversation unfolds, the duo delves deeper into the accuracy of these portrayals. Amber underscores the profound impact these depictions can have on people's perceptions of death, particularly when so few have first-hand exposure to its unadorned reality.

They dissect how classic shows like CSI and Grey's Anatomy amplify the drama, from gripping emergency room scenes to intriguing portrayals of funeral directors in forensic television. The discussion then seamlessly transitions to the big screen, with the mention of iconic titles such as "My Girl," "The Shining," and "Harold and Maude." They also explore the depth of research in modern TV productions, unveiling how these programs meticulously detail the workings of real-life processes.

This episode offers a thought-provoking analysis of the evolving media landscape's portrayal of death, and an eye-opening exploration for those curious about how shows and films shape our understanding of mortality.

Takeaways:

  1. From the dualities of gruesome and serene portrayals to the dramatization in TV shows, it's evident that media plays a pivotal role in shaping our understanding of these subjects. Understanding this influence is crucial for individuals seeking a more nuanced and realistic perspective on death.

In this episode:

[1:55] Pete kicks off the episode by introducing the month’s topic–how death, dying, and funerals are portrayed in the media. Horror movie junkie, Amber, talks about the dual perspectives of death in shows and movies: the gruesome and the serene.

[4:40] Pete and Amber delve into the accuracy of the violent and horror portrayals of death. Amber reiterates how these depictions can be impactful in shaping people’s perception of death, especially with how very few are exposed to its realities.

[6:49] The duo talk about all-time favorite TV shows such as CSI and Grey’s Anatomy. They explore the dramatized portrayal of most scenes in these shows, from the intense emergency room moments to how funeral directors are depicted in forensic TV.

[10:28] From My Girl, to The Shining, Harold and Maude, and more–Pete and Amber transition to movies and compare their impact versus TV shows that are built for weekly episodes and cliffhangers.

[15:53] Amber and Pete talk about modern day TV productions and the depth of their research on how the processes actually work. They also address the impact of hyper transparency in these shows on how families perceive critical issues such as terminal diagnosis and surgeries.

Resources:

  1. O'Connell Funeral Homes
  2. Amber Miller
  3. Read Show Transcript

Quotes

  1. “The realities of deaths are behind closed doors…So, if our only experience with death is what we see on the media, then we assume that’s what it is in natural life. And when we actually have a natural experience with death in our real life, we have this disconnect–we expect one thing, we see another thing and it turns into something altogether different.” - Amber Miller

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In this episode, Amber and Pete shed light on the topic of hospice care, sharing their insights and debunking common misconceptions. Amber starts by explaining how she chose this topic for the episode, drawing from her experiences with families who often express regret for not admitting their loved ones to hospice sooner. Pete raises an important question about whether patients in hospice have a say in their own care. They both address the misconception that hospice is exclusively for cancer patients and delve into other myths, including strange perceptions about hospice workers and the belief that a physician's referral is necessary for admission. Amber emphasizes the importance of being proactive when it comes to the care of a loved one with a terminal illness.

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Takeaways:

  1. Hospice isn't necessarily a last resort or limited to end-of-life cancer care. It's a comprehensive and compassionate approach that empowers patients to have a say in their care.

In this episode:

[1:30] Amber shares how she comes up with the topic of hospice for the podcast episode. She recounts how many of the families she meets with wish they’ve admitted their loved ones in the hospice sooner.

[3:39] Pete and Amber debunk the misconception tagged with hospices that they are only for people diagnosed with cancer. Pete raises the question on whether the patients in hospices have a say for their care.

[6:45] Pete and Amber further delve into the myths and misconceptions surrounding hospices such as the strange perceptions on the workers and that a physician’s referral is required to be admitted. Amber highlights the importance of being proactive for a loved one suffering from a terminal illness.

[9:01] Pete asks Amber how expensive hospices are. They also discuss the possibility of going back to regular treatment if a patient outlives their prognosis.

[11:45] Amber shares how funeral directors work closely with hospice nurses and how they help point families to hospices that can provide care to their loved ones in the area.

Resources:

  1. O'Connell Funeral Homes
  2. Amber Miller
  3. Read Show Transcript

Quotes

“99.9% of all families that I meet with, one of the first things they say is, 'wish we would’ve gotten our loved ones in hospice sooner.'” - Amber Miller

“Oftentimes, the additional care that a loved one gets on hospice allows them to actually do better.” - Amber Miller

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Takeaways:

  1. Body and organ donation is an important topic that should be talked about.
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In this episode:

[2:07] Amber talks about April as the National Donate Life Month and explains the importance of talking about body and organ donation year-round. Pete starts the discussion on myths by asking if organ donors are not allowed to have open caskets in their funeral.

[06:53] The duo talk about the myth on autopsies and whether they are conducted for free when requested by the family of a deceased who donated their body.

[10:56] Pete asks Amber what funerals look like when the deceased had decided to donate their body to science. Amber explains how the funeral process usually goes and how valuable these body donations are to the professionals in their field and in medicine.

[14:09] Pete and Amber discuss tissue and organ donation and how it may alter the appearance which is often a major concern for the family of the deceased.

Resources:

  1. O'Connell Funeral Homes
  2. Amber Miller
  3. Holiday PDF
  4. Read Show Transcript

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In this episode:

[1:25] Pete brings up the YouTube video sent by Amber a few months ago which prompted the idea for the episode’s topic–embalming and cremation myths.

[2:50] Amber and Pete talk about what happens to the jewelry, metallic and gold teeth fillings, and implants of the deceased when they are being embalmed or cremated.

[7:04] The duo tackle the myths about how embalmed bodies last forever and that embalming makes the remains smell. Amber debunks both myths and explains how the process just delays the decomposition of the remains.

[10:48] Pete and Amber talk about a popular myth that embalmers sew the lips and eyes shut when necessary. Amber shares how embalmers actually employ alternative techniques to create a natural and peaceful appearance during the embalming process.

[13:17] The two talk about the myth that embalmers remove all the organs during the process.

Resources:

  1. FREE Informational Seminar
  2. O'Connell Funeral Homes
  3. Amber Miller
  4. Read Show Transcript

Quotes

  1. “We use flames to heat up the crematory itself. But I think a lot of people feel that the misconception is 'Oh, my loved one’s body is going to be lit on fire,' that is not how the cremation process works.” - Amber Miller

The Price of Saying Goodbye: Insights from a Funeral Director

In this month's episode, Amber and Pete explore the often-misunderstood topic of funeral costs and the crucial role of funeral directors in managing the intricacies of the funeral process. They discuss the perception of families regarding the costs and how funeral directors handle this sensitive issue.

Amber provides insights into the professional needs that contribute to the costs, such as their time, education, and overall expertise. They also highlight the significance of a funeral director's presence in alleviating stress and maintaining respect throughout the process. 

Additionally, Amber shares about the post-funeral aftercare services they offer, ensuring families have the necessary resources to navigate their grief.

Join them for an enlightening conversation on the mission of funeral directors and the complexities of funeral costs. Takeaways:

  1. There are a lot of factors that contribute to funeral costs, including the time, education, and expertise required by funeral directors. 
  2. The presence of a compassionate funeral director can greatly reduce stress for grieving families and ensure a respectful and meaningful funeral process.

In this episode:

[1:30] Amber and Pete talk about the main mission of funeral directors in handling all the details of the funeral process and how they deal with the perceptions of the families regarding the costs.

[3:09] Amber provides an insight into the costs they have to deal with, highlighting the professional needs. She expounds on the time, education, and expertise their profession entails which contribute to the costs involved in providing comprehensive funeral services.

[7:30] Pete asks Amber how many people usually work on the whole funeral process. Amber explains how everyone in their team of six directors, pre planning specialists, and office administrators get highly involved in the intricacies of the process.

[11:10] Pete talks about how the presence of a funeral director can take away the stress from the grieving families and make the process more respectful. Amber adds that there are cremation services that do not proceed with the process without the guidance and involvement of a funeral director.

[12:59] Amber shares about the post funeral aftercare services they offer such as sending out cards, text messages, inviting the families to grief support groups, and making sure they have all the resources they need to process their grief peacefully.

Resources:

  • O'Connell Family Funeral Homes
  • Amber Miller
  • Dos and Don'ts Guide
  • Read Show Transcript

Quotes

  1. “We’re diligent about trying to take everything off your plate so you can focus on your own grief and healing.” - Amber Miller
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