Triumphs from the Sober 66 Challenge

Want to Quit Drinking? - 9 Mistakes to Avoid!

NEWSFLASH! - Our Breaking Free Program is open for enrollment until 30th May - get more info here

I'm Janet Gourand, founder of Tribe Sober and I celebrated my 9th Soberversary on 23rd May, 2024!

Most of our Tribe Sober members know my story – how I quit drinking and started Tribe Sober but as we are getting new podcast listeners every week I’m re-releasing my story along with my Goodbye to Alcohol Letter.

But before that I have some fresh content that will be useful to everyone on this journey….

In this episode:-

Common mistakes when we're trying quit drinking

Mistake number 1 — Waiting for rock bottom

I knew I had a problem but I was in denial for years. Convincing myself that I wasn’t that bad. I couldn’t possibly be an alcoholic because I was holding down a responsible job and raising a family. An alcoholic was that homeless man in the park who had lost everything. That wasn’t me!

Mistake number 2 — Moderation I spent a decade stuck in the Moderation Trap. Once I’d learned that the low risk limits of alcohol are just one and a half bottles of wine a week I decided that I would drink within those limits.It was only when I tried (and failed) to do that that I realised just how dependent I had become.

Mistake number 3 — Fearing failure

I almost never got started on this life-changing journey because I believed I would fail. I just couldn’t imagine quitting alcohol, never having a drink again. I knew that I had tried (and failed) to moderate my drinking again and again. Surely it would be even harder to quit completely?

Mistake number 4 — Worrying about other people

Peer pressure is powerful. I was trapped in my drinking because I couldn’t bear to peel away from the herd and be different. As an introvert and a people pleaser I didn’t want to be the centre of attention as I was bombarded with questions about why I wasn’t drinking. Mistake number 5 — Being influenced by marketing As a teenager I believed that alcohol was cool. Wine became the essential parenting aid as I joined the mommy juice culture. Mid-life challenges needed wine as did juggling a career with family life. Retirement gave me time to relax and drink even more wine!

Mistake number 6 — Waiting for happiness to strike..

I had relied on alcohol to make me feel good for a such a long time that I missed those chemical highs when I stopped. During my first few months of sobriety I didn’t change anything in my life. I just didn’t drink. I expected to feel happy because I was sober. But I didn’t, I felt flat and rather depressed.I learned that I would need a project to keep my happy brain chemicals firing!

Mistake number 7 — Being depressed about quitting I had to quit for health reasons and was horrified at the prospect of an alcohol free life. I imagined that an alcohol free life would be a grey and boring existence. Alcohol had become so entrenched in my life that I had no idea how I would socialise, relax or have fun without it.

Mistake number 8 — Trying to do it alone

I thought there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t be happy with just “one glass” of wine like some of my friends. I tried (and failed) to quit over and over. I was ashamed of my drinking problem and wanted to fix it myself. I didn’t want to reach out for help or join a community.

LEARNING FROM MISTAKES — 8 TIPS!

TIP NUMBER 1: Do it now!Alcohol dependence is like an elevator and it’s only going down. The longer you leave it the worse it will get so if you’re worried about your drinking then Do it Now!

TIP NUMBER 2: Forget Moderation!If you could moderate you would have done it by now.People who can moderate just do it naturally. They might have a glass of champagne at a wedding but alcohol is not really on their radar.

TIP NUMBER 3: Have your reasons readyJust smile and say “I’m taking a break from the booze because I’ve not been sleeping well” and rememberit’s not your responsibility to make other people feel comfortable about their drinking!

TIP NUMBER 4: Change your thinking…about drinkingReflect and question the limiting beliefs you hold about alcohol. Do you really need alcohol to have fun, to relax, to console yourself for a difficult day? Explore new ways to manage these situations.

TIP NUMBER 5: Reconfigure your life!When you quit drinking you can’t just leave everything the same. You’ll need to change your routines and get new interests. New hobbies and a new community will keep you happy and engaged.

TIP NUMBER 6: Get excited!Get excited about this life changing opportunity! You are going to look better, feel better, sleep better and be full of energy. Ditching the booze is the best thing we can do for our health and happiness as we get older.

TIP NUMBER 7: Find your PeopleThe joy of connecting with others on this journey is that we realise we are NOT alone. 20% of social drinkers will become dependent over the years. There is such power and relief in sharing our stories with others in a community liketribesober.com

TIP NUMBER 8:Progress not Perfectionshould be your strategy. Some people have many Day Ones but the important thing is to keep trying.Do it in stages. 30 days, 100 days, 6 months and then a year.

• More Info

• Episode Sponsor

  This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol thensign up today Read more about our program and subscribeHERE

• Find out more about our FREE Bootcamps - next one is 20-24th May - more info HERE

  Help us to Spread the Word!

  We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share.

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Alcohol...and Ageing with Professor Ben Loos

My guest today is Ben Loos, he’s a professor at Stellenbosch University and leads a neuro research group. His team focuses on neurodegenerative diseases and brain cancers, with a major focus on autophagy

Autophagy is the body’s way of cleaning out damaged cells, in order to regenerate newer, healthier cells – a process which is essential to good health.

Ben's research is at a particularly exciting stage right now as he is busy developing a device that will enable us to measure our autophagy rate – much as we can measure our resting heart rate or our glucose levels.

He is CEO of a start up called Phagoflux which will bring this product to market.

Knowing our autophagy rate can make a big difference and will motivate us to strive for a healthy lifestyle –for example if we see it is too low then we can do something about it – we can do some exercise or we can implement a 12 hour fast.

Of course I asked Ben about what impact alcohol has on the autophagy process as well as other aspects of our health.

In this episode:-

• Health Risks of Alcohol: Excessive alcohol consumption is linked to various diseases, including cancer and neurodegeneration, due to its stress-inducing effects on cells and interference with processes like memory consolidation and sleep.
• Effects on Memory and Aging: Alcohol impairs both short-term and long-term memory formation, and chronic consumption accelerates brain aging, increasing susceptibility to neurodegenerative diseases like dementia.
• Alcohol Dependence and Blackouts: Regular heavy drinking can lead to alcohol dependence and blackouts, which indicate severe brain impairment and are precursors to brain damage. Particularly dangerous as we get older
• Alcohol and Autophagy: Alcohol abuse can impair autophagy due to oxidative stress, inflammation, and mitochondrial dysfunction.
• Thinking about our general health: Quitting alcohol leads to significant improvements in health, including liver regeneration, reduced inflammation, and better immune function, emphasizing the importance of avoiding alcohol dependency, especially as one ages.
• With an autophagy monitoring device like Phagoflux we could monitor our personal autophagy levels, just like checking our blood pressure or glucose levels. If the levels are high, it's a good sign that our cellular cleaning mechanism is functioning optimally. But if it's low, then interventions like exercise or dietary changes could help boost autophagy and improve cellular health.
• It's all about empowering us to take control of our wellness at a cellular level and I think many of us ex drinkers are keen to take action to heal our bodies and brains as much as we can.
• Autophagy in Healing: Autophagy plays a vital role in cellular healing by removing damaged components and restoring function.
• Autophagy Monitoring Device: Fagovlux aims to measure personal autophagy levels, crucial for understanding aging.
• Personalized Autophagy: Understanding one's daily autophagy activity can guide lifestyle choices like diet and exercise.
• Exercise and Autophagy: Exercise increases autophagy, contributing to healthy aging and reducing disease risk.
• Intermittent Fasting: Fasting triggers autophagy by sensing a lack of amino acids, promoting cellular repair and health.
• Of course we already know the basic health rules and we try to stay alcohol free, eat a healthy diet and fast occasionally and exercise regularly.
• But how motivating would it be to be able to monitor our autophagy rate and see what impact our hard working is having on our health!
• Connect with Ben: Contact Ben through the Stellenbosch University website or the Neuro Research Group website for more information.
• www. neuroresearchgroup. com

• More Info

• Episode Sponsor

  This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol thensign up today Read more about our program and subscribeHERE

• Find out more about our FREE Bootcamps - next one is 20-24th May - more info HERE

  Help us to Spread the Word!

  We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share.

  If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.

  Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!

  We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.

  You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

  You can join our private Facebook groupHERE.

My Year of NOT getting Sh*tfaced! with Pamela Power

Today’s podcast comes with a bit of a health warning.

Moderation is not something we recommend here at Tribe Sober – mainly because so many us were trapped in what I call the moderation swamp.

We tried (and failed) over and over again to moderate our alcohol intake – all because we counldn’t imagine life without out gass of wine!

Personally the whole of my 50’s was spent in that battle to moderate… a battle that I never won and it’s only now I’m well and truly out the other side that I can see the reality which is that once we’ve crossed a line into dependence we can never moderate – we can never go back…

We just need to put all that effort we put into moderation into creating a beautiful alcohol free life – a life we don’t want to escape from..

Having said all that I do know that we have some “sober curious” people listening to this podcast, people who’ve not yet crossed that line into dependence.. so this episode will be of particular interest to them..

But if you were worried about your drinking and you have managed to clock up a period of sobriety then I would urge you to hang in there… it will get better and better and trying to moderate could take you back to Day One again!

So let’s get to my guest who is Pamela Power, who is an author, a television script writer and has published a book called “My Year of Not Getting Shitfaced”..

In this episode:-

• Pamela’s mother was dependent on alcohol
• As a result Pamela become a people pleaser - anxiously watching for her mothers behaviour to change as she drank
• As a teenager Pamela sampled homemade wines on her grandmother's farm in Ireland
• There was occasional drinking during teenage years and university but nothing excessive
• Her drinking Increased as she enjoyed socialising with her friends during weekends and social events
• This period was pre-parenthood so the responsibilities of motherhood put the brakes on her drinking
• In spite of this she found herself drinking more during social gatherings and stressful periods, especially during COVID-19 pandemic
• She recognised that there could be a potential problem even though she certainly didn’t fit the traditional addiction narrative
• Pamela experienced an embarrassing blackout during Mothers Day and decided she needed to take a break and reassess her drinking habits
• Her intention was to experiment with moderation and take periodic breaks as a means of self-awareness and health maintenance
• Pamela acknowledges that she had no idea of the low risk limits or alcohol
• She is not alone in this – many people are unaware of those limits.
• To be clear the World Health Organisation says that to be healthy we shouldn’t drink alcohol at all.
• The evidence is stacking up and it's now proven that alcohol is linked to 7 types of cancer and more than 60 diseases.
• Moderation means drinking no more than a bottle and a half of wine A WEEK.
• Knowing I had to drink within those limits is actually one of the things that helped me to quit. Drinking a small glass of wine in the evening was not going to give me a buzz so I might as well quit!
• We discussed the societal differences in drinking culture, highlighting the sober curious movement and the way the younger generation seems to be falling out of love with alcohol
• The latest stats from UK tell us that a massive 40% of 18-24 year olds don’t drink at all!
• Pamela enjoys fine wines but does recognize their addictive nature.
• We reflected on the challenges of sober socializing and the benefits of leaving social events early.
• We agreed on the importance of finding new sources of entertainment and occupation without alcohol.
• I mentioned my concern about the possibility that her book could tempt people to try (or retry) moderation when they really needed to quit as they were already dependent.
• Pamela explained that she had read a lot of quitlit and could not identify with any of the authors as their stories were too extreme
• So she has written this book recognising that there are different drinking patterns and that her story will resonate with those people who are simply sober curious
• The book is called, "My Year of Not Getting Shit Faced," available online and in bookstores.

• More Info

• Episode Sponsor

  This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol thensign up today Read more about our program and subscribeHERE

• Find out more about our FREE Bootcamps - next one is 20-24th May - more info HERE

  Help us to Spread the Word!

  We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share.

  If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.

  Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!

  We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.

  You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

  You can join our private Facebook groupHERE.

Addicted to Film with Ted Perkins

Today’s guest is going to give us a peek into Hollywood and the fascinating world of movies about recovery

Ted Perkins worked in the film industry for 30 years and has a book out called:-

"Addicted in Film, Movies We Love About the Habits We Hate"

I’ve just finished reading it and it’s fascinating – I had no idea there were so many films about recovery!

The book forms the basis of his Recovery Movie Meetup program

In this episode:-

• Ted grew up in a diplomatic family, where cocktail parties were the norm..
• Worked as a movie producer for Universal Studios for 30 years, then pursued independent screenwriting
• The Movie industry (like so many other industries) is “awash in alcohol” as Ted put it
• His drinking was mainly recreational until he began to work independently as a scriptwriter when it became more about managing his anxiety
• His scriptwriting career involved a lot of waiting around for responses regarding scripts he had submitted
• Ted shared his personal struggle with moderation and his attempts to control his drinking
• He talks us through his unique approach to sobriety – rather than 90 meetings in 90 days he watched 100 recovery movies in 100 days!
• In fact I’ve recently interviewed a guy for the podcast who listened to 100 Tribe Sober podcasts in 100 days… and it worked! He’s sober now and I ‘ll be releasing that interview soon
• I’m even thinking of creating a 100 episode playlist to go with it!
• Apart from his movie watching Ted also worked with Smart Recovery
• His recoveryled to him writing his book and developing Recovery Movie Meetups
• His book is called: "Addicted in Film, Movies We Love About the Habits We Hate" – available on Amazon – and on kindle – do check it out, its brilliant
• Recovery Movie Meetups enables communities to host support meetings using addiction-themed movies… and Tribe Sober will be hosting their first Recovery Movie Meetup with Ted on 11th May
• We’ll be watching an addiction themed movie and following it with a discussion – using guided questions
• I asked him for his Favorite Recovery Movie: which is the "Lost Weekend" which came out way back in (1945)
• I asked him to Recommended a Movie: He suggested "Thanks for Sharing" for its portrayal of various addictions and recovery aspects
• We discussed Society's stigma towards alcoholism: that misconception of alcoholics as homeless, contrasting with the majority of people affected who are in fact functional alcoholics
• Of course the danger of seeing the alcoholic as a homeless man in the park is that we look at him and think – I’m not that bad so I can carry on drinking!
• This suits the alcohol industry very well of course.
• AA's branding of the "alcoholic" can be likened to the religious branding of sinners – it’s a way to keep the flock together – to keep them coming to church… or meetings.
• We agreed that we had to take the Initiative in our recovery: we can’t just sit around waiting for life to become perfect – we have to rebuild our life, embrace opportunities and create an alcohol free life that we love
• Recovery is about reclaiming life’s possibilities
• We talked about the Hollywood celebrities who are modelling sobriety and making it cool: Ben Affleck, Bradley Cooper, Anthony Hopkins, Demi Lovato, and plenty of others
• I really loved Teds feedback loop – I’m going to read a quote from the transcript of the interview

Over time it'll work itself out and you'll see, …. all of the things that you thought were not going to be possible will become possible and you'll do things that you never thought possible Then your life in sobriety will then start an automatic feedback loop. Showing you how great life is and will continue to get as you pursue sobriety.

I love that idea of an automatic feedback loop – as the benefits of sobriety start to come in we realise we want to hold on to them….

• More Info

• Episode Sponsor

  This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol thensign up today Read more about our program and subscribeHERE

• Find out more about our FREE Bootcamps - next one is 20-24th May - more info HERE

• Help us to Spread the Word!

  We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share.

  If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.

  Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!

  We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.

  You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

  You can join our private Facebook groupHERE.

How Alcohol Made Fools of us All! - with Ken M Middleton

Today’s guest is Ken Middleton

If you’re a regular listener then you’ll already know Ken and many of you have read his fabulous book which is called Bamboozled – How Alcohol Makes Fools of us all!"

Kenis an interesting case because he didn’t embark on this journey because he was worried about his alcohol dependence… he did it because he realised that alcohol was preventing him from reaching his potential

As he says “even if alcohol doesn’t destroy you it will prevent you from reaching your potential”

How true!

This is my actually my third podcast episode with Ken – You can listen to the other podcast episodes here and here

In this episode:-

• Ken started his sobriety journey by educating himself on the scientific effects of alcohol. There is such power in knowledge – the more we understand about the damage alcohol does the less we feel like drinking it!
• His drinking career was pretty typical – starting at college where he used it to fit in and socialize. His drinking then intensified during his sales career
• It was when he decided to become an entrepreneur that Ken realized the detrimental impact of alcohol on his productivity.
• He decided to take a 90-day break from drinking with his wife, to his surprise this period of sobriety led to a significant increase in his productivity and income.
• Two weeks into his sobriety, Ken read Annie Grace's "This Naked Mind" which changed his perspective on alcohol.
• This book helped him to recognize the spectrum of alcohol's effects,
• We agreed that society stigmatises the alcoholic to such an extent that we imagine an alcoholic to be a homeless man in the park – this gives us a reason to decide we are not “that bad” so we can carry on drinking!
• This suits the alcohol industry very well of course!
• Inspired by his journey, Ken wrote "Bamboozled" to share his experiences and educate others on the hidden dangers of alcohol.
• One of the things I love about his book is the stories he includes - alcohol parables like "Scott and Mitchell," illustrating how drinking choices in college can impact future success.
• Ken emphasizes the cognitive and emotional impairment caused by alcohol, affecting decision-making, learning, and long-term success – of course its especially harmful for young brains which are still developing
• Ken encourages his readers to consider the long-term effects on their lives and potential.
• He believes in running towards personal growth rather than away from alcohol, recognizing the multitude of benefits gained through sobriety. I love this approach and see our members getting more and more motivated as the benefits of sobriety keep coming!
• Societal views on drinking are changing, with more and more young people abstaining - For example the latest stats from the UK tell us that 39% of 18-24 people just don’t drink
• Another of Kens alcohol parables focuses on Sarah and Susan
• Susan's excessive drinking hinders her career growth, while Sarah's more moderate approach leads to promotion.
• Hollywood's portrayal of alcohol influences societal perceptions and behaviors – Ken has a whole chapter on this and its fascinating If you haven't yet read Bamboozled then you’re missing out – it’s a really great read, you can buy it from Amazon or you can get it directly from Ken on TheBamboozledBook.com Do check out his 90 day challenge that he mentioned – he’s set up a website for that which is called https://www.dry90.com/ - I’ll put the links in the shownotes
• You can also follow Ken on Instagram @kenmmiddleton and of course his regular newsletter is called Alcohol is Not Your Friend.
• More Info

• Episode Sponsor

  This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program. If you want to change your relationship with alcohol thensign up today Read more about our program and subscribeHERE

  Help us to Spread the Word!

  We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help. Please subscribe and share.

  If you enjoyed the podcast, then please leave us a 5-star review on Apple podcasts.

  Take a screenshot of your review, and DM it to Tribe Sober’s Instagram page – see PS below for instructions. We’ll send you something special to say thank you!

  We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.

  You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

  You can join our private Facebook groupHERE.