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#388 A SPECIAL CONVERSATION WITH MY DAD!

1h 3m · Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? · 20 Mar 09:00

This week, I'm thrilled to welcome the most special guest ever on my show- my dad. With the release of my book just around the corner (coming out next week- can you believe it?!) I couldn’t think of a better time to have him on the podcast. Together, we dig into some of the stories that are (and aren’t) talked about in my book.

Join us as we laugh, reminisce, and share stories of the joys, the challenges, and everything in between. My dad has such powerful things to say about gratitude, slowing down, choosing love, and finding joy in the darkest of moments. This conversation is so special to me, and I am so excited to share it with you today.

Without further ado, let’s jump into this conversation with Tom Buckley.

3:34 – Tom 101

  • Tom’s upbringing + challenging relationship with religion
  • Going to college, joining a fraternity, and career as a teacher
  • Difficulties in marriage, battles with alcoholism and homelessness
  • Tom’s journey to sobriety + spiritual growth

26:49 – Parenting Perspectives

  • Reading the memoir
  • Watching children make mistakes and learn from them

36:28 – Choosing Love

  • Tom and Lynda’s marriage that defied the odds
  • Prioritizing sobriety, God, and the good of the family
  • The importance of love, respect, and kindness

48:28 – Rule 62

  • Looking for the good throughout Lynda’s sickness
  • Not taking yourself too seriously
  • Appreciating what life has taught you
  • Tom’s favorite chapter in the book

48:28 – Life lessons at 80

  • Tom’s life today with Cindy
  • Slowing down and appreciating the present
  • Trusting that things will work out when you get out of your own way

FEATURED QUOTES

“That's what life is about. It isn't about failure, it's about getting back up.”

“If you take yourself too seriously, you just lose sight of all the things that really are important.”

“In the ‘getting through it’ stage, you gain experience and knowledge that you can use to get out of it. You can find places for help and guidance that will work.”

“You want to see who the winners are? Follow the laughter.”

Connect with me:

http://www.stillbeingmolly.com

http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly

http://instagram.com/canilaughpod

http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly

http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly

http://facebook.com/canilaughpod

http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly

Preorder my book:

PREORDER YOUR COPY TODAY:

Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn

Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG

ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb

Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2

Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ

Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib

About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder?

The episode #388 A SPECIAL CONVERSATION WITH MY DAD! from the podcast Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? has a duration of 1:03:45. It was first published 20 Mar 09:00. The cover art and the content belong to their respective owners.

More episodes from Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder?

#397 How to Practice Radical Kindness in an Us Vs. Them World with Pastor Terry Crist

My guest this week is Terry Crist. He is the co-lead pastor of City of Grace in Phoenix, alongside his wife, Judith. As a fifth-generation pastor, Terry is dedicated to community transformation and advocates for adoption and foster care through his involvement in state government.

Outside of his pastoral duties, he's a passionate outdoorsman, a skilled communicator, and has shared the gospel in 65 countries. Terry and Judith have three married sons and three grandkids, and their family is dedicated to spreading the good news of Jesus.

Terry’s new book, Loving Samaritans: Radical Kindness In An Us VS. Them World, explores the transformative power of radical kindness. I am so excited to dig into the meat of his book with him today and talk about how even the smallest acts of kindness can pave the way for deeper connections and understanding.

I know you’re going to love this one!

2:43 – Terry 101

Raised as a church kid
Falling in love with ministry
Planting 3 churches


6:38 – Faith In The Everyday World

Why Terry felt called to write this book
The significant polarization and division in today's world
Feeling a call to live more intentionally on mission


13:02 – The Woman At The Well

The significance of this story
Jesus’ radical inclusivity
Jesus' reconciliation and healing
What is truth?

26:30 – Living On Mission Anywhere

Jesus became a neighborhood kid
The distinction between hospitality and fellowship
Being hospitable to people outside the church
Jesus’ model of loving people

38:15 – Walking In Love

Looking for traces of grace every day
Walking through the day with eyes open
Identifying everyone we meet as a neighbor
Understanding God’s love in order to love others well


FEATURED QUOTES

“I think all people have some fundamental things in common. We all want the best for ourselves and our family, we all want to be seen, we want to be heard, we want to be loved, we want to be valued, we want to be known.”

“All people are worthy of being heard. All people are worthy of hearing the truth without insult, and all people are worthy of unconditional love. Even if they don't accept our gospel, we can and should still give them our love, in the hopes that they do receive our gospel.”

“We don't need to assume that we don't have strangers around us, because we do, even in the smallest of towns. Hospitality is really opening our doors to them, just as Jesus did to us.”

“Loving people unconditionally, with strength, faithfully, enduringly, blessing our enemies, being compassionate to those who are in need, welcoming strangers- these are the practices of the gospel.”

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES OR LINKS THAT NEED TO BE INCLUDED IN POST

Learn more about Terry:

https://www.terrycrist.com/

Get your copy of Loving Samaritans

https://www.zondervan.com/p/loving-samaritans/

Terry on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/terrycrist

Terry on X

https://x.com/terrycrist

City of Grace Church

https://www.cityofgrace.com/

The Chosen Woman At The Well Scene

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ordhsDeAt60

Connect with me:

http://www.stillbeingmolly.com

http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly

http://instagram.com/canilaughpod

http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly

http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly

http://facebook.com/canilaughpod

http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly

GET YOUR COPY of ‘IF I DON’T LAUGH, I’LL CRY” TODAY:

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Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG

ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb

Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2

Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ

Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib

Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8

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About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder?

Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

#396 FIGHTING FOR FAMILY WITH CHRIS AND JULIE BENNETT

Julie and Chris Bennett have spent the majority of their 23 years of marriage working in vocational ministry. Through overwhelming challenges- a cancer diagnosis, a relapse, and a pandemic- they have learned how to fight for the things that matter and devote themselves to helping others do the same.

Today, they are the founders of Welcome Home Lifestyle which exists to create and promote content that celebrates all things family. Their new book Fighting For Family: The Relentless Pursuit of Building Belonging, was just released in March and is all about embracing togetherness in a time when so many suffer from loneliness.

I’m so excited to dive into the heart of their new book with you and talk about how vulnerability, intentionality, and grace play pivotal roles in nurturing healthy relationships, whether with family, chosen family, or friends.

2:50 – Chris and Julie 101

  • Met at 19 and married at 21
  • Working in ministry in Oklahoma
  • A calling to move their family to LA
  • Julie’s stage 3 breast cancer diagnosis
  • Challenges after the move + writing a book

7:34 – Guided By Faith

  • Life is not linear
  • Trusting God's plan and remembering His track record
  • Inviting children into the journey and allowing space for emotions
  • Relying on His guidance

16:57 – Cultivating a Healthy Family Culture

  • Chasing after a healthy family instead of a perfect family
  • The greenhouse effect at home
  • Modeling vulnerability and self-awareness as parents
  • Remembering God’s faithfulness

28:37 – Building Belonging

  • The 3 commitments for healthy relationships
  • Creating space for understanding, vulnerability, and belonging
  • Being intentional about building relationships
  • Connecting with Chris and Julie

FEATURED QUOTES

“We find out what we really believe about God, not when we get answers- it's when we're tested.”

“The idea of a greenhouse is that no matter what is happening externally- if it's scorching heat, if it's freezing cold, if it's raining- inside that greenhouse is a culture that things can grow year-round. And so we know that our kids are being exposed to all types of things. The world we're living in is very difficult for our kids… so we've tried to create this greenhouse effect at home.”

“Remembering what God did yesterday is what gives us faith for tomorrow.”

“Belonging is not something that you find, it’s something that you bring… people are able to do that and bring belonging when we give space for not having it all together and being messy.”

Learn more about Chris and Julie:

Fighting for Family

https://www.fightingforfamily.org/

Get your copy of Fighting For Family

https://www.amazon.com/Fighting-Family-Relentless-Building-Belonging/dp/0785293191?maas=maas_adg_980D35D24FEFF4EC892FEA9B34155B43_afap_abs&ref_=aa_maas&tag=maas

Julie on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/juliebennett_/

Chris on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/chrisbennett143/

Chris and Julie on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/chrisandjuliebennett/

Connect with me:

http://www.stillbeingmolly.com

http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly

http://instagram.com/canilaughpod

http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly

http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly

http://facebook.com/canilaughpod

http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly

GET YOUR COPY of ‘IF I DON’T LAUGH, I’LL CRY” TODAY:

Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn

Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG

ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb

Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2

Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ

Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib

Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8

Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv

About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder?

Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

#395 Really Very Crunchy with Emily Morrow

My guest this week is Emily Morrow who founded the social media channel Really Very Crunchy with her husband, Jason, in 2022. Since then, her platform has rapidly grown, amassing over 3 million followers and more than a billion views across various video platforms.

Emily is passionate about living a natural and sustainable lifestyle, and she uses her platform, along with her incredible sense of humor, to educate and inspire others on their journey to a healthier, toxin-free life.

Her new book, Really Very Crunchy: A Beginner's Guide to Removing Toxins from Your Life Without Adding Them to Your Personality, is now available wherever books are sold, with her upcoming children's book, Little Helper, Big Imagination, set to release in July 2024.

Stay tuned as we chat about her journey into crunchy living, navigating the comparison trap, the power of small changes, and so much more. I absolutely loved getting to know Emily and hope this conversation leaves you smiling and feeling inspired!

1:45 – Emily 101

Emily’s new book release
A mom of two boys
Moving to South Korea
Falling into content creation

15:52 – The Crunchy Journey

How Emily started making healthy lifestyle changes
Finding what works for your family
Creating relatable, non-judgemental content online
Navigating feedback and perception along the way


26:28 – Crunchy Living in Practice

How family members have supported this lifestyle
What crunchiness looks like on a day-to-day for Emily’s family
Universal childhood experiences


37:51 – Takeaways

Focusing on what’s best for your family
Making realistic lifestyle changes for you
Connecting with Emily


FEATURED QUOTES

“If you can't make all the changes, choose one thing…It doesn't have to be this big, extreme, and scary thing. You can make little changes.”

“I hope that people are able to resist falling into a comparison trap. Honestly, I hope that people realize the only person they have to convince that they're doing their best is themselves.”

Connect with me:

http://www.stillbeingmolly.com

http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly

http://instagram.com/canilaughpod

http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly

http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly

http://facebook.com/canilaughpod

http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly

GET YOUR COPY of ‘IF I DON’T LAUGH, I’LL CRY” TODAY:

Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn

Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG

ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb

Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2

Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ

Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib

Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8

Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv

About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder?

Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

Learn more about Emily:

https://www.reallyverycrunchy.com/

Get your copy of Really Very Crunchy

https://www.zondervan.com/p/really-very-crunchy/

Tik Tok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@reallyverycrunchy

YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLEvpTMBa0WuZuWAF2M9m0w

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/reallyverycrunchy/?hl=en

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/reallyverycrunchy/

#394 Hurt and Healed by the Church with Ryan George

In today’s episode, I’m joined by the remarkable Ryan George. Ryan is the author of the book, Hurt and Healed by the Church: Redemption and Reconstruction After Spiritual Abuse.

He spent the first 20 years of his life in a cult, attending a series of independent fundamental Baptist (IFB) churches, including one where his dad was a pastor with ultimate authority. Later in life, Ryan was confronted with the devastating truth of his father's serial sexual abuse.

Despite the trauma he experienced, Ryan didn't abandon his faith. After leaving the spiritually abusive IFB movement, he embarked on a 25-year journey of reevaluation and reconstruction. Today, through his blog, books, interviews, and spiritual adventure company, Dude Group, Ryan offers hope for those navigating their own paths of healing.

I do want to warn our listeners that this episode focuses on sensitive subjects like church hurt and sexual abuse. However, Ryan’s story is so powerful, and filled with hope, compassion, and healing.


2:48 – Ryan 101

Oldest of six homeschooled children + a pastor’s son
Husband and adoptive father
Adventurer and blogger
Author of 3 books


6:51 – The Path To Healing

Discovering his father’s abuse
Navigating the aftermath
Sharing his story to help others


18:16 – Jesus’ Model Of Justice

Jesus as a model for handling anger and betrayal
Pursuing justice with compassion
Seeking Heaven on Earth


33:31 – Finding The Real Jesus

What identifies a cult from a healthy church environment
Ryan’s experience with IFB churches
Seeking out the authentic Jesus
Recognizing that churches have both moments of beauty and moments of failure


54:54 – Takeaways

Being the person that confesses first
Podcast recording stories
Connecting with Ryan


FEATURED QUOTES

"Wounds from relationships are only healed in relationships... And I think that wounds from the church can only be healed not necessarily in a church building, but by people who also love Jesus."

“Give people the gift of going second... You have to start with yourself, or it can spin in some very horrible places. You become a bomb thrower…. I want to be the person that confesses first, so that people go, ‘Oh, that’s the real thing.’”

Learn more about Ryan:

Instagram:

https://www.booksbyryan.com/

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/ryan.george

Ryan’s Website

https://www.booksbyryan.com/

Check out Ryan’s books:

https://www.booksbyryan.com/books/

Explorience:

https://explorience.org/about/

Connect with me:

http://www.stillbeingmolly.com
http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly
http://instagram.com/canilaughpod
http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly
http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly
http://facebook.com/canilaughpod
http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly


GET YOUR COPY of ‘IF I DON’T LAUGH, I’LL CRY” TODAY:
Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn
Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG
ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb
Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2
Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ
Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib
Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8
Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv


About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder?

Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

#393 Raising Teens for Christ in a Secular Age with Melissa Kruger of The Gospel Coalition

Melissa Kruger serves as the Vice President of Discipleship Programming at The Gospel Coalition. As an author and Bible teacher, she regularly teaches women in her community and speaks at conferences around the country.

I’m so excited to have her on the show today to talk about her latest book,Parenting with Hope: Raising Teens For Christ in a Secular Age, and dive into the ins and outs of raising teenagers. We talk about transitioning with your children as they grow, modeling a life of faith, creating a prayerful home, and so much more.

In a culture that often implies that the teenage years are miserable and difficult, Melissa encourages parents to not overlook the beauty and joy in this chapter. Whether you're a parent, teacher, or simply someone who influences young lives, this conversation is SO important, and I can’t wait for you to hear it!

2:00 – Melissa 101

  • Vice President of the Gospel Coalition
  • Mother of 3 and wife
  • Former math teacher
  • An unexpected path to writing 16 books

6:42 – Changing The Parenting Narrative

  • The negative narrative surrounding parenting teenagers and tweens
  • Understanding the development stages of this time period
  • Being gracious and patient with teenagers + adapting your parenting style

14:21 – The Gracious Home Vs. The Permissive Home

  • Setting boundaries and allowing for mistakes
  • A lack of structure leading to negative outcomes
  • Setting boundaries as a parent
  • Allowing children to face consequences in a safe and supportive environment

21:25 – Parenting Through Different Stages

  • Transitioning parenting styles from one stage to the next
  • Recognizing children as independent human beings
  • Walking alongside your children as they make their own decisions
  • Avoiding placing your identity in your children’s actions or behaviors

33:03 – Modeling Faith

  • Being gracious with failure as a parent
  • Setting the example by walking with God
  • Incorporating prayer into everyday life as a family
  • Connecting with Melissa

FEATURED QUOTES

“I think growing up with our teen in some ways, is remaining curious about who they are and not making assumptions about why they're pushing back on something.”

“I think it's really tempting as a parent sometimes to place a lot of our identity and in our teen…we start trying to control who they become, rather than walk alongside them as they're becoming who God made them to be.”

“Learning how to make a mistake is actually a life lesson.”

“I always say aim for patterns, not perfection.”

Learn more about Melissa:

https://melissabkruger.com/

Get your copy of Parenting with Hope

https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Hope-Raising-Christ-Secular-ebook/dp/B0CFTGDKJ1

The Gospel Coalition

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/

Connect with me:

http://www.stillbeingmolly.com

http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly

http://instagram.com/canilaughpod

http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly

http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly

http://facebook.com/canilaughpod

http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly

GET YOUR COPY of ‘IF I DON’T LAUGH, I’LL CRY” TODAY:

Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn

Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG

ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb

Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2

Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ

Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib

Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8

Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv

About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder?

Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

Every Podcast » Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? » #388 A SPECIAL CONVERSATION WITH MY DAD!