Cultivating Hope: A Dad's Role According to Jesse Bradley

Effective Fatherhood: 5 Stones to Guide Your Journey with Nick Adams

In today's fast-paced world, the role of a father is evolving, and the importance of actively participating in one's daughter's life cannot be overstated. In this podcast episode, we have an insightful conversation with Nick Adams, a dedicated father of four and author of "Being the Dad You Wish You Had: 5 Big Stones for Effective Fatherhood." Through this discussion, Nick shares invaluable wisdom and experiences that shed light on the journey of fatherhood. His insights offer guidance on nurturing strong, independent daughters while navigating the complexities of being a father. Let's delve into the key takeaways from this engaging conversation.

Fatherhood Defined: Relationship Building

As the conversation unfolds, Nick truly encapsulates fatherhood in one word: relationship. This fundamental aspect is at the core of his approach to being a father to his daughters. Recognizing the influential power that fathers possess, Nick emphasizes the significance of focusing on building and nurturing a strong relationship with his children. This insight serves as a cornerstone for fathers looking to make a meaningful impact on their daughters' lives.

Navigating Fear and Parental Insecurities

Nick's candid reflections on the fears and insecurities he grappled with as he anticipated becoming a father to daughters resonate with many. His honest admission of feeling unprepared and inadequate highlights a common sentiment experienced by numerous fathers. By addressing these fears, Nick offers a relatable perspective that encourages fathers to acknowledge their vulnerabilities while embarking on the journey of fatherhood.

Redefining Success as a Father

A pivotal moment in the conversation arises when Nick reflects on the indicators of success as a father. His daughters' choices to actively engage in his work and to consider him not just as a father, but as one of their best friends, signify a profound sense of accomplishment for Nick. This reframing of success steers fathers away from external benchmarks and towards fostering relationships and open communication with their children.

Individuality and Connection with Each Child

Nick eloquently underscores the importance of recognizing and embracing the individuality of each child. Highlighting that what works for one child may not necessarily work for another, he imparts the wisdom of fostering unique relationships with each of his daughters. By valuing and understanding their distinct personalities, fathers are encouraged to tailor their approach to parenting, creating meaningful connections with their children.

Balancing Career and Fatherhood

With a busy schedule and a career that demands significant attention, Nick reflects on the necessity of finding balance between professional commitments and being an engaged father. His commitment to prioritizing his daughters' key events and establishing a consistent family dinner ritual underscores the significance of being present in their lives. Nick's experiences serve as a reminder for fathers to strive for balance in juggling their various responsibilities.

Embracing Imperfection and Making Progress

A striking aspect of Nick's insights is his emphasis on embracing imperfections while continuously striving for progress. By navigating the challenges of fatherhood with the mindset of making incremental strides, fathers are encouraged to alleviate the pressure of perfectionism. Nick's wisdom resonates as a reminder that the journey of fatherhood is about growth and connection, rather than achieving flawlessness.

Advice for Every Father

In a parting piece of advice, Nick extends a guiding principle to all fathers. He underscores the importance of understanding and supporting his children in becoming their authentic selves, rather than shaping them into a predetermined image. This profound insight emphasizes the transformative power of valuing individuality and empowering daughters to embrace their unique talents and aspirations.

Nick Adams' profound insights and candid reflections offer a wealth of wisdom for fathers navigating the intricate path of raising strong, independent daughters. His invaluable experiences underscore the significance of relationship-building, the embrace of imperfection, and the quest for progress as fundamental principles in effective fatherhood. By leveraging Nick's insights, fathers can embark on their journey with renewed inspiration, equipped to nurture vibrant relationships with their daughters while striving to be the best dads they can be.

Nick Adams' reflections highlight the transformative power of an engaged and empathetic father-daughter relationship, serving as a beacon of wisdom for fathers seeking to nurture meaningful connections with their children while navigating the rich tapestry of fatherhood.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:15]:
Welcome back to Dads with Daughters where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. As always, every week, I love being able to sit down with you, to work with you, to talk with you, to be able to be on this journey side by side with you, because it is a journey. Every day is a journey with our daughters. And no matter what age they're at, things are going to change and to be able to walk hand in hand side by side with other dads, learning from them is so important. And that's why I love being able to have this opportunity to talk to you every week because none of us have to do this alone. So often society makes it seem like we do have to, but that is not the case. There are so many fathers that have gone before us that have kids that have grown and flown, that have learned things and can share that learning with you, maybe your neighbor, but it could also be someone on the other end of your earphones.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:19]:
And that's why every week I love being able to bring you different guests, different people with different experiences that can share those experiences with you and help you along the journey that you're on. This week, we've got another great guest with us today. Nick Adams is with us. And Nick is dedicated to helping men understand the power of living into their strengths and dreams and provides actionable tools for the journey to authentic manhood. He is an author. He's a father of 4. So we're gonna be learning more about him and his journey as a father, and I'm really excited to have him here. Nick, thanks so much for being here today.

Nick Adams [00:01:55]:
Christopher, it's my pleasure. I'm looking forward. Even as you were introducing the show, I I just feel excited to see some of the phrases you use about connecting, not just when kids are young, but ongoing and having relationship that that's great. I'm excited about the show.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:09]:
Well, I'm excited to have you on. And as I said, you're a father of 4. So first and foremost, what I love doing is turning the clock back in time. I know you have 2 daughters. So I'm gonna go all the way back to that first moment that you found out that you were going to be a dad to a daughter. What was going through your head?

Nick Adams [00:02:23]:
Oh, I mean, honestly, I was terrified because, like, I had no idea what I was doing. I didn't really have a great role model as a father. And so I found myself expecting and not just expecting a child, but expecting a girl, which that's like, okay. I mean, at least I sort of understand guys. You know, I've I've never pretended to understand girls. And so, like, wow. It just really was pretty traumatizing. If not traumatized is wrong, it was scary and exciting.

Nick Adams [00:02:53]:
Oh my goodness. So exciting.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:54]:
You definitely don't wanna forget that because your daughters won't let you live that down if that was the case. If you just say it was terrifying. So

Nick Adams [00:03:00]:
Yeah. It was both. Still is.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:02]:
So I wanna hear about the terrifying piece because I hear from a lot of dads that raising daughters, that you definitely run into that there's fear that there's fear that comes with that. What was your biggest fear in raising daughters?

Nick Adams [00:03:17]:
Well, I mean, really my biggest fear wasn't centered specifically around daughters. It was centered around being a father. And and a lot of it just came from the fact that I didn't feel like I had a very good role model. And, you know, you hear people talking about, oh, you know, my dad told me every day or I heard over and over. This is, you know, a a life lesson I learned from my dad. And I was just like, I really don't have any of those, you know. And so I felt very inadequate and unprepared. And so I think that was my biggest fear because like probably most parents, after you realize you're having a daughter or a son or whatever it is you're having, you're just excited.

Bruce Chamoff's Journey as a Podcaster, Entrepreneur, and Engaged Dad

Embracing the Journey and Overcoming Challenges

In a heartwarming conversation on the Dads with Daughters podcast, Bruce Chamoff, a seasoned podcaster and entrepreneur, shared insightful anecdotes about his journey as a father to his now 20-year-old daughter. As fatherhood is a unique and deeply personal experience, Bruce's revelations bring valuable lessons to the forefront, shedding light on the joys, struggles, and growth that come with raising a daughter.

Welcoming Fatherhood: The Journey Begins

It's not uncommon to feel a mix of excitement and bewilderment upon learning about pending fatherhood. Bruce's recollections of the day he learned he was going to be a father to a daughter paint a vivid picture of the emotions that accompany this pivotal moment. He beautifully captures the blend of enthusiasm and uncertainty that fathers often experience, highlighting the eagerness to embark on the journey of parenthood while simultaneously grappling with the vast unknown that lies ahead.

Navigating Fears and Challenges: Insights from a Father's Perspective

As Bruce shared his fears and concerns about raising a daughter, he echoed sentiments that many fathers can relate to. The apprehensions surrounding teenage years, the challenge of letting go, and the anxiety about protecting their daughters from potential heartbreak are universal themes. Bruce's candid reflections provide a platform for fathers to recognize and acknowledge their fears while learning to embrace the inevitable challenges that come with guiding their daughters through adolescence.

Lessons Learned: Embracing Uniqueness and Understanding Balance

One of the most poignant moments from Bruce's narrative revolves around the realization that children, especially daughters, will never mirror their parents entirely. This acknowledgment opens the door to a beautiful journey of comprehension and acceptance. By understanding their daughters' unique traits and embracing the differences, fathers can forge deeper connections, fostering an environment of mutual respect and understanding.

The elusive balance between work and family life is a feat that many fathers strive to master. Bruce openly shared his experiences, acknowledging the struggle to balance his entrepreneurial endeavors with his responsibilities as a father. His insights underscore the importance of finding ways to integrate family into career pursuits, emphasizing the value of involving children in a father's professional endeavors as a means of nurturing work-life balance.

The Impact of Podcasting: A Tool for Connection and Growth

Podcasting has been a transformative force in Bruce's life, propelling him to connect with a global community and share his passions. Through podcasting, Bruce discovered a means to weave a rich tapestry of stories—a skill that also enhanced his role as a storyteller in his daughter's life. His experiences serve as an inspiration for fathers to explore creative ways to engage with their daughters, fostering deeper connections through shared interests and joint pursuits.

Legacy and Continuation: Parenting and Professional Endeavors

In a heartening turn of events, Bruce's professional journey subsequently intertwined with the personal domain, leading to a collaboration with his daughter on the World Podcast Network. This fusion exemplifies a harmonious blend of professional success and familial bonds, underscoring the significance of involving children in parents' passions and enterprises. Through this alliance, Bruce not only imparts invaluable skills and knowledge but also lays the foundation for his daughter's professional growth and development.

Navigating Fatherhood with Intention and Love

Bruce's narrative offers an array of insights and reflections on fatherhood that resonate deeply with fathers from all walks of life. His journey encapsulates the essence of fatherhood—embracing the unknown with open arms, embarking on a path of continual growth, and fostering enduring connections with daughters. His story serves as a poignant reminder that fatherhood is not solely about providing but also about nurturing, guiding, and fostering a legacy of love and understanding.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:
Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. You know, every week, I love being able to sit down with you, to talk to you, to walk beside you on this path that you're on in working to be the best dad that you want to be and working to make those meaningful connections that you want to make with your daughters. Why is it important? Well, it's important because you signed up for it. You signed up to be a dad. You signed up to walk on this path to be there with your kids. And sometimes the journey can be lonely. Sometimes the journey can be challenging.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:56]:
And being able to learn from other dads, learn from other people, and understand that you're not alone is just part of the battle. I love also being able to bring you different people, different people that have gone through this journey themselves. They are going through this journey themselves and can share the experiences that they've had as a father because you're going to learn from them. And if you open yourself up to it, you'll probably take a few things away from it to be able to help you to be that dad you wanna be and to help you raise that daughter that you wanna raise. This week, we've got another great guest with us today. Bruce Chamoff is with us today. And Bruce is with the World Podcast Network. I love talking about podcasting, but we're not gonna be talking just about podcasting today.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:43]:
We're gonna be actually talking about Bruce's experience in being a father to a daughter. He's got a 20 year old daughter That also helps him with podcasting too by go down that pipe that path a little bit. But I'm really excited to have him on, to have him tell his story, and for you to learn from him. Bruce, thanks so much for being here today.

Bruce Chamoff [00:02:02]:
Hey, thanks, Chris. It was

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:03]:
my pleasure. Know, one of the things that I love doing, 1st and foremost, is I love turning the clock back in time. I said that you had a 20 year old daughter. So I wanna turn the clock back maybe 21 years. You know, back to that first moment that you found out that you were going to be a father to a daughter. What was going through your head?

Bruce Chamoff [00:02:19]:
Well, I was at work, and my wife called me. Actually, we're not married now, but she called me at the time and she said, are you sitting down? And I didn't think of hearing that she was pregnant. So she said, I said, yeah. I'm sitting down. I'm pregnant. I was excited. I mean, I think every parent gets excited when they hear that, but they're also dumbfounded at the same time. And I had that going through in my mind.

Bruce Chamoff [00:02:40]:
And then right away, we were talking about names. And that was the whole conversation. And, yes, I was excited. But, you know, that you just wanna be a parent. And you know that the day you hear that you are going to be a parent, you want those whole 9 months to just fly by. And that's what was going through my mind. I'm like, okay. Yes.

Bruce Chamoff [00:03:02]:
I'm gonna be a dad. Yes. She's pregnant. Perfect. I wish that that 9 months would just come tomorrow. You know? And that was it. But it was a really good journey, that whole thing. I got that new dad book series.

Bruce Chamoff [00:03:15]:
I forgot who the author was. I was reading that, like, from literally the first week when I found out that I was gonna be a dad and I was prepared. And that was it. You know, the whole family was excited. I mean, you know how that whole thing goes.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:25]:
So I talkedto alot of dads and a lot of dads say to me that in having a daughter, there's some fear that goes along with that. You talked about pulling out those books and reading and trying to immerse yourself and learning what you need to learn and trying to figure it out. But as you think about the moments you've had with your daughter and raising your daughter, what was your biggest fear in raising a daughter?

Bruce Chamoff [00:03:47]:
What I've been hearing about from most people, and that is, oh, love her right now because when she becomes a teenager, she's not gonna wanna know you. And then you gotta watch out for all the guys. And, of course, I'm thinking, well, I don't really care about that now. We're gonna go through 10 or 12 years of her not me not worrying about that and that's what happened. But when she hit about 13, she was acting like a teenager and that's when everybody says just watch the guys. They're gonna come. They're gonna blow on. I'm like, oka

Cultivating Hope: A Dad's Role According to Jesse Bradley

When Jesse Bradley discovered he was going to be a father to a daughter after having three sons, he knew this would bring a unique set of delights and challenges. Jesse emphasizes each child as a unique gift, advocating a tailored approach in fostering connections that affirm a daughter's persona, building confidence amidst the ever-present peer pressures.

**The Power of Presence and Words**

One-on-one interactions form the core of Jesse's parenting strategy, offering a safe space for his daughter to share her thoughts and feelings. He recognizes the formative power of a parent's words and presence, which serve as a bedrock for a child’s development, especially before bed—a time both sacred and profound in the Bradley household.

**Positive Reinforcement**

In our podcast episode, Jesse shares personal experiences of affirming his daughter's worth and building her confidence, with a reminder to parents about the potency of positive reinforcement. His intentional interactions include daily prayer and reading sessions, maintaining an equitable balance between tenderness and honesty.

**Grappling with Challenges**

Jesse opens up about his insecurities in not understanding his daughter's world, from hair care to jewelry. He advises parents to lean into these differences and learn from their children, rather than maintaining a distance. Adjusting parenting methods to match the child's pace is also key, as Jesse demonstrates by embracing his daughter's composed approach to life.

**Cultivating Hope**

On the critical notion of hope, Jesse advocates for relational, habitual, and thoughtful practices to instill a strong sense of optimism in children. These practices are deeply relational, requiring attentiveness and intentional affirmations from parents.

**Wisdom for Fathers**

Jesse's advice encompasses being 'tough and tender,' encouraging dads to support their children's pursuits without trying to control them. He suggests a reflective approach to one's natural tendencies and emphasizes the significance of an honest and humble approach in parent-child relationships.

In our introspective conversation, Jesse Bradley's insights serve as a reminder that fatherhood is a continuous journey marked by growth, learning, and unconditional love. His experiences and guiding principles stand as a beacon for dads navigating the waters of raising daughters in a world filled with emotional and spiritual complexities.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:15]:
Welcome back to Dads with Daughters where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. As always, every week, you and I are on a journey together. I've told you this before, and I'll tell you it again. You know, I'm a father of 2. My kids are in their teenage years and in college. Your kids are gonna be at different places, but we all are on that journey together as we raise our daughters to be those strong, independent women that we want for them to be successful and to find that path for themselves. It's not always going to be easy.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:53]:
The journey is not always going to be a straight line, But it is something that we all go through. And it is so important that we are able to have these conversations and that you can learn and grow from the conversations and the people that we have here every week. I love being able to bring you different people, be people with different perspectives, different fathers, mothers, other people with resources that can help you on this journey, that can help you to make that journey just a little bit easier because you do not have to do this alone. I've said that before and I'll say it again. Fatherhood does not have to be a solo experience. Sometimes it may feel that way. Sometimes you may feel like it should be that way, but it doesn't have to be that way, and it shouldn't be that way. There are so many dads that are out there right next to you, your next door neighbors, the people around you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:45]:
And by reaching out, by talking, by sharing, by being a little vulnerable Yes, I said the v word, vulnerable. You can definitely do so much to be able to help yourself to be that dad that you wanna be. Today, we've got another great guest with us. Jesse Bradley is with us today, and Jesse is a speaker. He's an author. He is the lead pastor of of Grace Community Church, and we're gonna be talking to him about being a father of 4, as well as the, some of the things that he does on a daily basis and working with dads, but also working with just people in general. And I'm really excited to be able to have him here and talk about his own experience. Jesse, thanks so much for being here today.

Jesse Bradley [00:02:26]:
Christopher, it's an honor to join you. I've been looking forward to this. Thanks for all you do to encourage and to equip dads and really parents because we need help. We really do. I'm not joining you as a guest as someone who has all the answers or has it together. We're lifelong learners and parenting is truly an adventure. But we can encourage each other, I think through stories, through things that are working in one home are probably gonna work well in another home. And thank you for connecting dads too.

Jesse Bradley [00:02:55]:
Because like you said, the temptation I think is to drift, to be isolated. And with isolation, that's never the isolated. And with isolation, that's never the best spot to be. And we wanna come together and you've created community. So thanks for all you do. You've been very dedicated and devoted, and we appreciate it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:10]:
Well, I really appreciate you saying that. Now first and foremost, one of the things I love doing is I wanna turn the clock back in time. And I know you've got 4 kids, you've got one daughter, 3 sons, and your daughter's 13 now. So I wanna go back, let's say 14 years. I wanna go back to the very beginning when you found out that you were going to be a dad to a daughter. What was going through your head?

Jesse Bradley [00:03:29]:
Well, you know, that's an interesting story because we had had 2 boys. We'd also had 3 miscarriages. So we had really been on a roller coaster ride, and that helped us realize that every child is a gift. I believe that with all my heart. Every child is unique, wonderfully made, and truly a gift. Now with our 3rd child, when we showed up to find out, is it going to be a boy or a girl? The assistant who had the view of the picture, the first words out of her mouth were, oh, boy. And that's not probably what you wanna say when it's gonna be a girl because literally she looked at the picture and said, oh, boy. And my mind went to, well, here comes boy number 3.

Jesse Bradley [00:04:11]:
And then a few seconds later, she said, you're gonna have a girl. And I was like, wait, what? So it was a gender reveal that went one direction, faked us out, head fake, and then we came back and a girl. I knew this was gonna be a really different experience than the boys. Of course, there's a lot of commonalities, but I also knew this would balance our home a little more. With 3 boys right now and a girl, we were intentional to get a girl dog. Just, you know, trying to balance out the home a little bit. But I was excited. My wife had a name in mind, and it just seemed to come together well.

Jesse Bradley [00:04:48]:
And such a blessing. I'm so grateful for Lily.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:51]:
Now each child is unique. You've got 4 kids, and you have to take that time, spend that time to connect on an individual level. When you have 4 kids and you have a daughter, you have 3 sons, what are you doing to make those unique bonds with your kids and especially the bond that you want to have with your daughter?

Jesse Bradley [00:05:11]:
That's a great question. It's easy to always be in a group, and you really need that one on one time. I like the phrase be intentional because a lot of times your child might not come to you and share everything they need, and they're hoping that you're going to pursue them. And that time for me that's been consistent is before bed. I feel like there's something about that last hour where people are a little more open, honest, share feelings, let their guard down, and that's been consistent for us and we do a couple different things during that time, but sometimes it's playful. We started playing catch with one of her stuffed animals that's round. And then we started keeping score. And eventually, what's our record? And we made it up to a couple hundred, but that was just kind of a fun thing we started doing.

Jesse Bradley [00:06:00]:
And I thought, okay, my daughter isn't into sports like I was, and that's okay. In fact, she's the exact opposite. I wanted to do sports with teams, scores, balls. She doesn't want anything to do with stress, competition. Like, she would prefer to just g

Nurturing Bonds: Joe Lee's Strategies for Raising Strong Daughters

The Fatherhood Insider: A Gateway to Enhanced Paternal Engagement

Dr. Christopher Lewis welcomes fathers to explore the Fatherhood Insider, a hub designed for paternal growth. Emphasizing the importance of active fatherhood, he encourages dads to utilize resources such as course libraries, forums, and expert advice with the singular goal of honing their fathering skills.

Joe Lee's Remarkable Transition: From Monotony to Spontaneity

Guest Joe Lee, a dedicated father, discusses his structured life and the unique activities he enjoys with his daughter. Be it practicing Taekwondo, computer learning sessions, or ice skating adventures, Joe underscores the essence of breaking routine and imbuing life with spontaneous moments.

An Inspirational Journey from an Entrepreneur to Author

Joe Lee shares his motivations for penning 'Ripping Off the Mask From Hustler Entertainer to CEO' and his entrepreneurial evolution. Reflecting on the empowering experiences that guided him to authorship, Joe underlines the process of building a support network and navigating the responsibilities of single fatherhood.

Fatherhood's Complex Layers in Modern Society

As a vigilant single father, Joe addresses the pressing fears and challenges in raising a daughter in today's society. He advocates for attentiveness, support, and open communication as the pillars of a father-daughter relationship. With a fine balance between professional life and parenting duties, Joe strives to provide structure, support, and valuable life insights for his daughter.

A Vision of Fatherhood: Protecting and Teaching the Next Generation

Envisioning his role as a protector and teacher, Joe Lee hopes to instill resilience and strength in his daughter. He emphasizes the value of fathers being present and actively involved—not just in the big moments, but also in the everyday tasks, like doing their daughters' hair. As a 'girl dad,' his commitment to nurturing and mentoring his daughter shines as a beacon for other fathers who listen to 'Dads with Daughters

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:
Welcome back to the dads with daughters podcast, where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughter's lives, raising them to be strong independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. Every week I love being able to sit down, talk to you, help you, and work with you as you go through this journey that you're on in raising your daughters. I know I've been on the same journey. I'm still on that journey. I'll always be on that journey. Once you're a father, you're always a father. And what's so important is that you never give up.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:46]:
You keep moving and you keep working at it because there's gonna be times where it's gonna be hard. There's gonna be times where it's gonna go smoothly, but there is always opportunities to learn, to grow and to be even better. So that's what this show is all about. This show is all about helping you to be the best dad that you can be to help you to connect and engage with your daughters. And that's why I love being able to have these conversations with you every week. I also love being able to bring you different dads, different dads that are doing fatherhood in different ways and bringing you people that have, are from every walk of life, fathers, mothers, other individuals with resources that are gonna help you to be that engaged father that you wanna be. This week, we've got another great guest with us. Joe Lee is with us today.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:35]:
And Joe is a father of a daughter. He's got a 6 year old daughter at home. We're gonna talk about his journey that he has had thus far with his own daughter, and I'm really excited to have him here. Joe, thanks so much for being here today.

Joe Lee [00:01:48]:
Thank you, Chris. I appreciate being a part of the show and being on here. The way that you guys, have come along, I think I was set at the beginning stages of that when you started the organization and group on Facebook. So it's a pleasure being here and being a dad myself for the last 6 years. I've always helped other folks with their trials and tribulations prior to me becoming a dad. So it was one of the reasons why I joined your group back then.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:11]:
So first and foremost, what I love to do is I love turning the clock back in time. So let's go all the way back to that first moment that you found out that you were gonna be a father to a daughter. What was going through your head?

Joe Lee [00:02:20]:
Oh, man. I I said, you know, of all people, why, you know, why do I hit the girl? Right? And but I smiled all the time. I smiled all the time. Like any other father, you wanna have that boy, But, you know, it's been a pleasure, and I see that I've inspired a lot of men when I first started this journey and how I used to talk about her coming into this world.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:41]:
So as you think back to the time that you've had with your daughter thus far, I know that when I talk to dads about being a father to a daughter, many people tell me that there's some fear that goes along with it. What's been your biggest fear in raising a daughter in today's society?

Joe Lee [00:02:56]:
So there's a couple things, to be honest with you, Chris. 1, if I think about my life coming out of New Orleans and the fact of even just raising a kid today, I don't think it's scary. I think it's a matter of being afraid. What could possibly happen? And I say that because I've often been asked and had conversations with dads or women, all of the same. And I talk about the days when we used to walk around the neighborhood at 6, 7, 8 years old. We 2, 3, 10, 15 miles away from home. Today, that's the fear factor. You can't do that anymore.

Joe Lee [00:03:26]:
Predators will take your daughter or son out of your backyard and draw daylight. It doesn't even matter. That's one of the biggest things, and I think she's taught me a lot more too just in general about life as I've gotten back, as I've always been into the health and fitness side of the house, playing semi pro football, bodybuilding, etcetera, this late stage in the game for me and and by the way, I'll be 53 next week, Chris, just to share a little bit with you. So I still keep myself healthy. But working with her in Taekwondo has, gotten me back into stretching. It has gotten me close to God because she's in private school, and every week she has homework to read a, a verse from the Bible.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:03]:
Now raising kids is never easy. Raising daughters is not always easy as well. What's been the hardest part for you being a father to a daughter?

Joe Lee [00:04:12]:
It's making sure that I'm being attentive. Right? It's making sure that I am supportive, of a female, for 1. I am actively listening, and I'm not just being a dictator because I'm her father, but I'm also fostering open communication. I think it involves setting a positive example that I am empathetic to what she's going through, and I'm finding ways to be resilient to teach her to be resilient. My daughter jumped onto a computer right at the age of 4 months, and she literally crawled over into my lap and was just curious about it. And, you know, she didn't peck on the keyboard. She tried to mimic everything that I was doing, and I'm like, yes. She has that look in her eyes.

Joe Lee [00:04:48]:
So from there, that helped me with being a father to a female and what I have seen in the prior 15 years of women now becoming more evolved in the corporate America side of things. So it only meant sense for me to think about, hey, how do I best guide my daughter? Because she's gonna need more than just being a female. She's gonna need more than just going to school and to be able to survive out here in this world of, corporate America and in life.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:19]:
Now you are busy. You have a lot of things going on. You're doing a lot of different things. And you're trying to also be that engaged dad that you wanna be. Talk to me about balance and how you've found balance in the things that you're trying to do professionally, but also in who you want to be personally for your daughter.

Joe Lee [00:05:38]:
Yes. So one thing, I have 2 calendars. I manage calendars. Where most people, years before me, may have missed Christmas or some specific holiday or birthday around a making a business deal, I do my best to manage my schedule around her schedule and not the other way around. So just like I have her in Tae kwon which is generally Mondays Tuesdays and every other weekend, in my business calendar that's lined side by side, I plan my business days around her schedule. And that's been a major, major benefactor to me to make sure that we can get what she needs to get and she can get the time with me. As far as balance wise, yes. And where she is today with her academics in a private school that she'

Joe Cody Discusses IVF, Advocacy, and Raising a Daughter

Join us as we delve into the gripping narrative of Joe Cody on the Dads with Daughters podcast, where he shares his multifaceted life as an entrepreneur, advocate, and a devoted father.

Infertility Journey

Joe retraces the trying ordeal that marked the beginning of his fatherhood journey—the quest for parenthood through IVF. He lays bare his family's emotional rollercoaster, marked by failed IVF attempts, a heartbreaking miscarriage, and financial strain amounting to $60,000.

Grain Fertility: A Beacon of Hope

Amidst the turmoil, Joe's expertise in health policy, coupled with his volunteer work for Resolve, sparked the inception of Grain Fertility. The app, enriched by Joe's personal saga, stands as a testament to turning adversity into a beacon of hope, aiding countless individuals in their fertility quests.

Empowerment Through Technology

Grain Fertility not only simplifies the daunting medical landscape but also fosters understanding and empowerment. It epitomizes Joe's crusade for accessible reproductive healthcare—the service, available in both free and premium versions, embodies the convergence of education, support, and expertise.

Fatherhood Through the Lens of Fertility Struggles

Joe eloquently articulates how overcoming fertility hurdles has sculpted him into a more present and grateful father. Whether relishing the anticipation of his daughter's future or savoring shared moments at a Frozen musical, he exemplifies the profound appreciation and unshakable love that stem from his experiences.

Defining Moments and Lasting Advice

In an intimately revealing 'Fatherhood 5' segment, Joe distills fatherhood to its essence: love. He humbly acknowledges his aspirations for his daughter, imparting wisdom to fellow fathers on kindness and the pivotal role of love in parenting.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:
Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast, where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughter's lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. Every week, I love being able to sit down with you, talk to you, to engage with you, to find that commonality that we have in raising daughters in today's society. And I know that each of us are on our own journey. But you know what? We are all on a collective journey because we are all raising daughters. And that's important because all of us come to this with our own backgrounds, but we don't have to do this alone. There are so many other dads around us. And while society may sometimes push us to be that lone wolf per se, that alpha male, that person that is that is being challenged to go alone and do things by yourself.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:10]:
You don't have to. And that's what this podcast is all about. This podcast is here as a resource. It's here to help you to go on a journey with all of the dads that are guests, all of the people that are guests to find those resources and find those commonalities, learn something along the way, and help you as you are going through your own journey. Because you don't have to be alone. And you have a community right here. That's here to help you in that journey that you're on every week. I also love being able to have different guests with us.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:43]:
And why? Because I 1, I like learning from them. But also, 2, I love being able to introduce them to you. So we have dads that come on moms that come on. We have other people with many different resources and it is always a fun time to be able to learn about the journey that they've been on and the things that they have struggled with as well, because I'm sure many of the things that they're struggling with, you're struggling with too. Today, we've got another great guest with us. Joe Cody was with us today, and Joe is a father of a daughter. We're gonna talk about his own journey, and I'm really excited to have him here. Joe, thanks so much for being here today.

Joe Cody [00:02:18]:
Oh, thanks for having me on, Chris. I appreciate it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:20]:
It is my pleasure. Love that you're here, and I'm really excited to be able to learn a little bit more about you. 1st and foremost, we got to turn the clock back a couple of years now. Your daughter is in that age 3 range. So we're going to talk about what it's been like in these these years that you've had with her. So let's turn that clock back in time. What was that first reaction that you had when you first found out that you were going to be a dad to a daughter?

Joe Cody [00:02:46]:
My journey is like a lot of people's where we were trying for years to try to have a child get pregnant. We had to go through almost 4 years of infertility treatment, IVF specifically, to try to have our daughter. So when we got that phone call from our reproductive endocrinologist saying that my wife was pregnant, it was an unbelievable feeling. And then the way that IVF process works, you find out much quicker than other people do about the gender of the child and other stuff. So I found out this we were gonna have a baby girl, and I was ecstatic. I was at that point where I didn't really care whether or not I had a boy or girl. I was just so blessed to have a child concerning the journey we had gone through. And then I really started to think through.

Joe Cody [00:03:24]:
I found myself fast forwarding through decades already where I was thinking about our graduation, about walking right down the aisle, and these other things that dads think about as you go through that process. But then I had to kind of rewind to come back into the moment. So it was really exciting moment for me.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:38]:
Now, a lot of dads tell me that, especially in raising daughters and you only have a daughter, I only have daughters. So I can't say that I have the same experience and understanding what a father with a son goes through. But a lot of the dads that I talked to that are dads with daughters have said that there's some fear that goes along with being a father to a daughter. What's been your biggest fear in raising your daughter so far?

Joe Cody [00:04:04]:
I think for me, it is you don't know necessarily what you're doing because you don't have that experience of being a little girl or a woman growing up in today's world. So you think as a a male who has gone through your experiences, you know, that sheds light onto the way that we're going to approach different situations. But understanding that her perspective is gonna be completely different. She's growing up in a completely different time than I did. So is that fear of am I doing things the right way, and am I actually adequately preparing her for what she needs in life later on, knowing that her journey is gonna be complete different than mine?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:39]:
There's definitely ups and downs in that journey. It's not always roses. It's not always going to be easy. What's been the hardest part of being a dad to a daughter?

Joe Cody [00:04:50]:
I think for me, the process going through and having her and then immediately she was born April 2020, so at the very start of the pandemic. So you have a pandemic baby who's born, and you we didn't have a lot of support for that first 6 to 9 months because no one had vaccines yet. Everyone was still trying to figure out what was going on. So we felt really isolated, during that process. We did get to see our parents a few times during it, but for the most part so and a lot of that was trying to figure out what are we doing going through this process. And There are so many small things with little girls that you don't think of as a a male growing up and trying to figure out those things. So I think that was, you know, one of the things that we've just tried to figure out, but constantly trying to remind myself that a lot of us, we don't really know what we're doing. We're kinda figuring this out as we go, and we're doing the best we can, and that's the most we can do.

Joe Cody [00:05:45]:
And I think if we continue to love and support and provide, everything that she needs, I think we're gonna be just fine.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:52]:
Now you've had your daughter in your life now for about three and a half years, and you've had definite experiences. You just talked about the experience that you had right away. There are definite memories, things that you'll remember, things that she'll start to remember as she gets a little bit older. What's been the most memorable experience that you've had thus far as a father to a daughter?

Joe Cody [00:06:17]:
He is really into pretend and to dressing up and all of those things. And it's very funny because we didn't necessarily push any of those things until, you know, quote, unquote, constructs of what a a girl should be doing. She just naturally gravitated towards thos