Dads With Daughters

When Jesse Bradley discovered he was going to be a father to a daughter after having three sons, he knew this would bring a unique set of delights and challenges. Jesse emphasizes each child as a unique gift, advocating a tailored approach in fostering connections that affirm a daughter's persona, building confidence amidst the ever-present peer pressures.

**The Power of Presence and Words**

One-on-one interactions form the core of Jesse's parenting strategy, offering a safe space for his daughter to share her thoughts and feelings. He recognizes the formative power of a parent's words and presence, which serve as a bedrock for a child’s development, especially before bed—a time both sacred and profound in the Bradley household.

**Positive Reinforcement**

In our podcast episode, Jesse shares personal experiences of affirming his daughter's worth and building her confidence, with a reminder to parents about the potency of positive reinforcement. His intentional interactions include daily prayer and reading sessions, maintaining an equitable balance between tenderness and honesty.

**Grappling with Challenges**

Jesse opens up about his insecurities in not understanding his daughter's world, from hair care to jewelry. He advises parents to lean into these differences and learn from their children, rather than maintaining a distance. Adjusting parenting methods to match the child's pace is also key, as Jesse demonstrates by embracing his daughter's composed approach to life.

**Cultivating Hope**

On the critical notion of hope, Jesse advocates for relational, habitual, and thoughtful practices to instill a strong sense of optimism in children. These practices are deeply relational, requiring attentiveness and intentional affirmations from parents.

**Wisdom for Fathers**

Jesse's advice encompasses being 'tough and tender,' encouraging dads to support their children's pursuits without trying to control them. He suggests a reflective approach to one's natural tendencies and emphasizes the significance of an honest and humble approach in parent-child relationships.

In our introspective conversation, Jesse Bradley's insights serve as a reminder that fatherhood is a continuous journey marked by growth, learning, and unconditional love. His experiences and guiding principles stand as a beacon for dads navigating the waters of raising daughters in a world filled with emotional and spiritual complexities.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:15]:
Welcome back to Dads with Daughters where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. As always, every week, you and I are on a journey together. I've told you this before, and I'll tell you it again. You know, I'm a father of 2. My kids are in their teenage years and in college. Your kids are gonna be at different places, but we all are on that journey together as we raise our daughters to be those strong, independent women that we want for them to be successful and to find that path for themselves. It's not always going to be easy.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:53]:
The journey is not always going to be a straight line, But it is something that we all go through. And it is so important that we are able to have these conversations and that you can learn and grow from the conversations and the people that we have here every week. I love being able to bring you different people, be people with different perspectives, different fathers, mothers, other people with resources that can help you on this journey, that can help you to make that journey just a little bit easier because you do not have to do this alone. I've said that before and I'll say it again. Fatherhood does not have to be a solo experience. Sometimes it may feel that way. Sometimes you may feel like it should be that way, but it doesn't have to be that way, and it shouldn't be that way. There are so many dads that are out there right next to you, your next door neighbors, the people around you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:45]:
And by reaching out, by talking, by sharing, by being a little vulnerable Yes, I said the v word, vulnerable. You can definitely do so much to be able to help yourself to be that dad that you wanna be. Today, we've got another great guest with us. Jesse Bradley is with us today, and Jesse is a speaker. He's an author. He is the lead pastor of of Grace Community Church, and we're gonna be talking to him about being a father of 4, as well as the, some of the things that he does on a daily basis and working with dads, but also working with just people in general. And I'm really excited to be able to have him here and talk about his own experience. Jesse, thanks so much for being here today.

Jesse Bradley [00:02:26]:
Christopher, it's an honor to join you. I've been looking forward to this. Thanks for all you do to encourage and to equip dads and really parents because we need help. We really do. I'm not joining you as a guest as someone who has all the answers or has it together. We're lifelong learners and parenting is truly an adventure. But we can encourage each other, I think through stories, through things that are working in one home are probably gonna work well in another home. And thank you for connecting dads too.

Jesse Bradley [00:02:55]:
Because like you said, the temptation I think is to drift, to be isolated. And with isolation, that's never the isolated. And with isolation, that's never the best spot to be. And we wanna come together and you've created community. So thanks for all you do. You've been very dedicated and devoted, and we appreciate it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:10]:
Well, I really appreciate you saying that. Now first and foremost, one of the things I love doing is I wanna turn the clock back in time. And I know you've got 4 kids, you've got one daughter, 3 sons, and your daughter's 13 now. So I wanna go back, let's say 14 years. I wanna go back to the very beginning when you found out that you were going to be a dad to a daughter. What was going through your head?

Jesse Bradley [00:03:29]:
Well, you know, that's an interesting story because we had had 2 boys. We'd also had 3 miscarriages. So we had really been on a roller coaster ride, and that helped us realize that every child is a gift. I believe that with all my heart. Every child is unique, wonderfully made, and truly a gift. Now with our 3rd child, when we showed up to find out, is it going to be a boy or a girl? The assistant who had the view of the picture, the first words out of her mouth were, oh, boy. And that's not probably what you wanna say when it's gonna be a girl because literally she looked at the picture and said, oh, boy. And my mind went to, well, here comes boy number 3.

Jesse Bradley [00:04:11]:
And then a few seconds later, she said, you're gonna have a girl. And I was like, wait, what? So it was a gender reveal that went one direction, faked us out, head fake, and then we came back and a girl. I knew this was gonna be a really different experience than the boys. Of course, there's a lot of commonalities, but I also knew this would balance our home a little more. With 3 boys right now and a girl, we were intentional to get a girl dog. Just, you know, trying to balance out the home a little bit. But I was excited. My wife had a name in mind, and it just seemed to come together well.

Jesse Bradley [00:04:48]:
And such a blessing. I'm so grateful for Lily.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:51]:
Now each child is unique. You've got 4 kids, and you have to take that time, spend that time to connect on an individual level. When you have 4 kids and you have a daughter, you have 3 sons, what are you doing to make those unique bonds with your kids and especially the bond that you want to have with your daughter?

Jesse Bradley [00:05:11]:
That's a great question. It's easy to always be in a group, and you really need that one on one time. I like the phrase be intentional because a lot of times your child might not come to you and share everything they need, and they're hoping that you're going to pursue them. And that time for me that's been consistent is before bed. I feel like there's something about that last hour where people are a little more open, honest, share feelings, let their guard down, and that's been consistent for us and we do a couple different things during that time, but sometimes it's playful. We started playing catch with one of her stuffed animals that's round. And then we started keeping score. And eventually, what's our record? And we made it up to a couple hundred, but that was just kind of a fun thing we started doing.

Jesse Bradley [00:06:00]:
And I thought, okay, my daughter isn't into sports like I was, and that's okay. In fact, she's the exact opposite. I wanted to do sports with teams, scores, balls. She doesn't want anything to do with stress, competition. Like, she would prefer to just g

The Fatherhood Insider: A Gateway to Enhanced Paternal Engagement

Dr. Christopher Lewis welcomes fathers to explore the Fatherhood Insider, a hub designed for paternal growth. Emphasizing the importance of active fatherhood, he encourages dads to utilize resources such as course libraries, forums, and expert advice with the singular goal of honing their fathering skills.

Joe Lee's Remarkable Transition: From Monotony to Spontaneity

Guest Joe Lee, a dedicated father, discusses his structured life and the unique activities he enjoys with his daughter. Be it practicing Taekwondo, computer learning sessions, or ice skating adventures, Joe underscores the essence of breaking routine and imbuing life with spontaneous moments.

An Inspirational Journey from an Entrepreneur to Author

Joe Lee shares his motivations for penning 'Ripping Off the Mask From Hustler Entertainer to CEO' and his entrepreneurial evolution. Reflecting on the empowering experiences that guided him to authorship, Joe underlines the process of building a support network and navigating the responsibilities of single fatherhood.

Fatherhood's Complex Layers in Modern Society

As a vigilant single father, Joe addresses the pressing fears and challenges in raising a daughter in today's society. He advocates for attentiveness, support, and open communication as the pillars of a father-daughter relationship. With a fine balance between professional life and parenting duties, Joe strives to provide structure, support, and valuable life insights for his daughter.

A Vision of Fatherhood: Protecting and Teaching the Next Generation

Envisioning his role as a protector and teacher, Joe Lee hopes to instill resilience and strength in his daughter. He emphasizes the value of fathers being present and actively involved—not just in the big moments, but also in the everyday tasks, like doing their daughters' hair. As a 'girl dad,' his commitment to nurturing and mentoring his daughter shines as a beacon for other fathers who listen to 'Dads with Daughters

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:
Welcome back to the dads with daughters podcast, where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughter's lives, raising them to be strong independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. Every week I love being able to sit down, talk to you, help you, and work with you as you go through this journey that you're on in raising your daughters. I know I've been on the same journey. I'm still on that journey. I'll always be on that journey. Once you're a father, you're always a father. And what's so important is that you never give up.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:46]:
You keep moving and you keep working at it because there's gonna be times where it's gonna be hard. There's gonna be times where it's gonna go smoothly, but there is always opportunities to learn, to grow and to be even better. So that's what this show is all about. This show is all about helping you to be the best dad that you can be to help you to connect and engage with your daughters. And that's why I love being able to have these conversations with you every week. I also love being able to bring you different dads, different dads that are doing fatherhood in different ways and bringing you people that have, are from every walk of life, fathers, mothers, other individuals with resources that are gonna help you to be that engaged father that you wanna be. This week, we've got another great guest with us. Joe Lee is with us today.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:35]:
And Joe is a father of a daughter. He's got a 6 year old daughter at home. We're gonna talk about his journey that he has had thus far with his own daughter, and I'm really excited to have him here. Joe, thanks so much for being here today.

Joe Lee [00:01:48]:
Thank you, Chris. I appreciate being a part of the show and being on here. The way that you guys, have come along, I think I was set at the beginning stages of that when you started the organization and group on Facebook. So it's a pleasure being here and being a dad myself for the last 6 years. I've always helped other folks with their trials and tribulations prior to me becoming a dad. So it was one of the reasons why I joined your group back then.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:11]:
So first and foremost, what I love to do is I love turning the clock back in time. So let's go all the way back to that first moment that you found out that you were gonna be a father to a daughter. What was going through your head?

Joe Lee [00:02:20]:
Oh, man. I I said, you know, of all people, why, you know, why do I hit the girl? Right? And but I smiled all the time. I smiled all the time. Like any other father, you wanna have that boy, But, you know, it's been a pleasure, and I see that I've inspired a lot of men when I first started this journey and how I used to talk about her coming into this world.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:41]:
So as you think back to the time that you've had with your daughter thus far, I know that when I talk to dads about being a father to a daughter, many people tell me that there's some fear that goes along with it. What's been your biggest fear in raising a daughter in today's society?

Joe Lee [00:02:56]:
So there's a couple things, to be honest with you, Chris. 1, if I think about my life coming out of New Orleans and the fact of even just raising a kid today, I don't think it's scary. I think it's a matter of being afraid. What could possibly happen? And I say that because I've often been asked and had conversations with dads or women, all of the same. And I talk about the days when we used to walk around the neighborhood at 6, 7, 8 years old. We 2, 3, 10, 15 miles away from home. Today, that's the fear factor. You can't do that anymore.

Joe Lee [00:03:26]:
Predators will take your daughter or son out of your backyard and draw daylight. It doesn't even matter. That's one of the biggest things, and I think she's taught me a lot more too just in general about life as I've gotten back, as I've always been into the health and fitness side of the house, playing semi pro football, bodybuilding, etcetera, this late stage in the game for me and and by the way, I'll be 53 next week, Chris, just to share a little bit with you. So I still keep myself healthy. But working with her in Taekwondo has, gotten me back into stretching. It has gotten me close to God because she's in private school, and every week she has homework to read a, a verse from the Bible.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:03]:
Now raising kids is never easy. Raising daughters is not always easy as well. What's been the hardest part for you being a father to a daughter?

Joe Lee [00:04:12]:
It's making sure that I'm being attentive. Right? It's making sure that I am supportive, of a female, for 1. I am actively listening, and I'm not just being a dictator because I'm her father, but I'm also fostering open communication. I think it involves setting a positive example that I am empathetic to what she's going through, and I'm finding ways to be resilient to teach her to be resilient. My daughter jumped onto a computer right at the age of 4 months, and she literally crawled over into my lap and was just curious about it. And, you know, she didn't peck on the keyboard. She tried to mimic everything that I was doing, and I'm like, yes. She has that look in her eyes.

Joe Lee [00:04:48]:
So from there, that helped me with being a father to a female and what I have seen in the prior 15 years of women now becoming more evolved in the corporate America side of things. So it only meant sense for me to think about, hey, how do I best guide my daughter? Because she's gonna need more than just being a female. She's gonna need more than just going to school and to be able to survive out here in this world of, corporate America and in life.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:19]:
Now you are busy. You have a lot of things going on. You're doing a lot of different things. And you're trying to also be that engaged dad that you wanna be. Talk to me about balance and how you've found balance in the things that you're trying to do professionally, but also in who you want to be personally for your daughter.

Joe Lee [00:05:38]:
Yes. So one thing, I have 2 calendars. I manage calendars. Where most people, years before me, may have missed Christmas or some specific holiday or birthday around a making a business deal, I do my best to manage my schedule around her schedule and not the other way around. So just like I have her in Tae kwon which is generally Mondays Tuesdays and every other weekend, in my business calendar that's lined side by side, I plan my business days around her schedule. And that's been a major, major benefactor to me to make sure that we can get what she needs to get and she can get the time with me. As far as balance wise, yes. And where she is today with her academics in a private school that she'

Join us as we delve into the gripping narrative of Joe Cody on the Dads with Daughters podcast, where he shares his multifaceted life as an entrepreneur, advocate, and a devoted father.

Infertility Journey

Joe retraces the trying ordeal that marked the beginning of his fatherhood journey—the quest for parenthood through IVF. He lays bare his family's emotional rollercoaster, marked by failed IVF attempts, a heartbreaking miscarriage, and financial strain amounting to $60,000.

Grain Fertility: A Beacon of Hope

Amidst the turmoil, Joe's expertise in health policy, coupled with his volunteer work for Resolve, sparked the inception of Grain Fertility. The app, enriched by Joe's personal saga, stands as a testament to turning adversity into a beacon of hope, aiding countless individuals in their fertility quests.

Empowerment Through Technology

Grain Fertility not only simplifies the daunting medical landscape but also fosters understanding and empowerment. It epitomizes Joe's crusade for accessible reproductive healthcare—the service, available in both free and premium versions, embodies the convergence of education, support, and expertise.

Fatherhood Through the Lens of Fertility Struggles

Joe eloquently articulates how overcoming fertility hurdles has sculpted him into a more present and grateful father. Whether relishing the anticipation of his daughter's future or savoring shared moments at a Frozen musical, he exemplifies the profound appreciation and unshakable love that stem from his experiences.

Defining Moments and Lasting Advice

In an intimately revealing 'Fatherhood 5' segment, Joe distills fatherhood to its essence: love. He humbly acknowledges his aspirations for his daughter, imparting wisdom to fellow fathers on kindness and the pivotal role of love in parenting.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:
Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast, where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughter's lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. Every week, I love being able to sit down with you, talk to you, to engage with you, to find that commonality that we have in raising daughters in today's society. And I know that each of us are on our own journey. But you know what? We are all on a collective journey because we are all raising daughters. And that's important because all of us come to this with our own backgrounds, but we don't have to do this alone. There are so many other dads around us. And while society may sometimes push us to be that lone wolf per se, that alpha male, that person that is that is being challenged to go alone and do things by yourself.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:10]:
You don't have to. And that's what this podcast is all about. This podcast is here as a resource. It's here to help you to go on a journey with all of the dads that are guests, all of the people that are guests to find those resources and find those commonalities, learn something along the way, and help you as you are going through your own journey. Because you don't have to be alone. And you have a community right here. That's here to help you in that journey that you're on every week. I also love being able to have different guests with us.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:43]:
And why? Because I 1, I like learning from them. But also, 2, I love being able to introduce them to you. So we have dads that come on moms that come on. We have other people with many different resources and it is always a fun time to be able to learn about the journey that they've been on and the things that they have struggled with as well, because I'm sure many of the things that they're struggling with, you're struggling with too. Today, we've got another great guest with us. Joe Cody was with us today, and Joe is a father of a daughter. We're gonna talk about his own journey, and I'm really excited to have him here. Joe, thanks so much for being here today.

Joe Cody [00:02:18]:
Oh, thanks for having me on, Chris. I appreciate it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:20]:
It is my pleasure. Love that you're here, and I'm really excited to be able to learn a little bit more about you. 1st and foremost, we got to turn the clock back a couple of years now. Your daughter is in that age 3 range. So we're going to talk about what it's been like in these these years that you've had with her. So let's turn that clock back in time. What was that first reaction that you had when you first found out that you were going to be a dad to a daughter?

Joe Cody [00:02:46]:
My journey is like a lot of people's where we were trying for years to try to have a child get pregnant. We had to go through almost 4 years of infertility treatment, IVF specifically, to try to have our daughter. So when we got that phone call from our reproductive endocrinologist saying that my wife was pregnant, it was an unbelievable feeling. And then the way that IVF process works, you find out much quicker than other people do about the gender of the child and other stuff. So I found out this we were gonna have a baby girl, and I was ecstatic. I was at that point where I didn't really care whether or not I had a boy or girl. I was just so blessed to have a child concerning the journey we had gone through. And then I really started to think through.

Joe Cody [00:03:24]:
I found myself fast forwarding through decades already where I was thinking about our graduation, about walking right down the aisle, and these other things that dads think about as you go through that process. But then I had to kind of rewind to come back into the moment. So it was really exciting moment for me.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:38]:
Now, a lot of dads tell me that, especially in raising daughters and you only have a daughter, I only have daughters. So I can't say that I have the same experience and understanding what a father with a son goes through. But a lot of the dads that I talked to that are dads with daughters have said that there's some fear that goes along with being a father to a daughter. What's been your biggest fear in raising your daughter so far?

Joe Cody [00:04:04]:
I think for me, it is you don't know necessarily what you're doing because you don't have that experience of being a little girl or a woman growing up in today's world. So you think as a a male who has gone through your experiences, you know, that sheds light onto the way that we're going to approach different situations. But understanding that her perspective is gonna be completely different. She's growing up in a completely different time than I did. So is that fear of am I doing things the right way, and am I actually adequately preparing her for what she needs in life later on, knowing that her journey is gonna be complete different than mine?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:39]:
There's definitely ups and downs in that journey. It's not always roses. It's not always going to be easy. What's been the hardest part of being a dad to a daughter?

Joe Cody [00:04:50]:
I think for me, the process going through and having her and then immediately she was born April 2020, so at the very start of the pandemic. So you have a pandemic baby who's born, and you we didn't have a lot of support for that first 6 to 9 months because no one had vaccines yet. Everyone was still trying to figure out what was going on. So we felt really isolated, during that process. We did get to see our parents a few times during it, but for the most part so and a lot of that was trying to figure out what are we doing going through this process. And There are so many small things with little girls that you don't think of as a a male growing up and trying to figure out those things. So I think that was, you know, one of the things that we've just tried to figure out, but constantly trying to remind myself that a lot of us, we don't really know what we're doing. We're kinda figuring this out as we go, and we're doing the best we can, and that's the most we can do.

Joe Cody [00:05:45]:
And I think if we continue to love and support and provide, everything that she needs, I think we're gonna be just fine.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:52]:
Now you've had your daughter in your life now for about three and a half years, and you've had definite experiences. You just talked about the experience that you had right away. There are definite memories, things that you'll remember, things that she'll start to remember as she gets a little bit older. What's been the most memorable experience that you've had thus far as a father to a daughter?

Joe Cody [00:06:17]:
He is really into pretend and to dressing up and all of those things. And it's very funny because we didn't necessarily push any of those things until, you know, quote, unquote, constructs of what a a girl should be doing. She just naturally gravitated towards thos

Today's Dads with Daughters' podcast featured some amazing guests. actor, pastor and father, Aqeel Ash-Shakoor and his daughter Jaylah Ash-Shakoor. The discussions revolved around their experiences, highlighting the integral role of fathers in daughter's lives, and providing valuable lessons for dads everywhere.

**A Father's Protective Instinct and Balancing Parenthood with a Career**

When Aqeel learned he was about to become a father to a daughter, he felt a profound sense of responsibility and protectiveness. He reflected on his initial desire to have a daughter and shared the powerful moment of witnessing her birth. Aqeel also discussed the concerns fathers often face, particularly when it comes to protecting their daughters in a world that can sometimes be unkind. Balancing a busy career with involved fatherhood, Aqeel emphasizes the importance of prioritization, with a three-rule mantra: 'God, family, handle your business.'

**The Importance of Father-Daughter Relationships**

Jaylah spoke candidly about the evolution of her appreciation for her father's protective nature. As she transitioned into adulthood, she understood the value of having a supportive dad and recognized the unique challenges that come with the territory. Aqeel and Jaylah mutually stressed the significance of a father's presence and guidance in shaping a daughter's sense of self and decision-making abilities.

**Communication and Trust - Key Pillars of Parenthood**

A crucial topic discussed in the podcast revolves around the essence of communication in building strong father-daughter relationships. Aqeel and Jaylah highlighted the need for clear dialogue, understanding, and a foundation of trust. They emphasized that parents must believe in their children's capabilities and support them in carving their own paths, even when they diverge from expectations.

**Building Confidence and Resilience**

Aqeel shared an affectionate account of fostering confidence in Jaylah. He recounted his efforts to instill resilience by encouraging her to embrace challenges, including navigating self-doubt at her new school. This mirrors in Jaylah's own aspirations for impact and influence in her endeavors as an influencer and entrepreneur.

**The Ash-Shakoor Legacy of Individualism and Success**

Aqeel's humble beginnings and his vow at nine years old to achieve success laid a foundation for his parenting approach, focused on teaching his children to believe in themselves without excuses. Jaylah spoke of her father's imprint on her ambition, the value of taking charge, and owning the room, attributing her confidence to the freedom her parents granted her.

In conclusion, this episode serves as a powerful testament to the deep bonds, challenges, and triumphs within father-daughter relationships. It's an encouragement for dads to embrace their unique journey with their daughters, supporting them to reach their full potential, and leaving a legacy of love, respect, and understanding.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to Dads With Daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:
Welcome back to the dads with daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. Every week, I love being able to sit down and talk to you about the journey that you are on with your daughters. Doug. It is a exciting time. It is a important time, and it is so important for you to be actively engaged in your daughter's lives And being willing to learn along with her and going on this journey along with her as well. Every week, I also love being able to have different people, different people to share their experiences.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:56]:
We've had dads on the show. We've had moms on the show. We've had Other people with tons of resources that are sharing those resources with you. And there are special moments when I have an opportunity to be able to have a Father and a daughter on the show, and that's today what we're going to be doing. Today, I've got 2 great guests with us. Reverend Dr. Aqeel Ash-Shakoor is with us today, and his daughter, Jaylah, is with us as well. And I'm really excited to have them here today to talk about Their journey as father and daughter and to learn more from them.Aqeel, Jaylah, thanks so much for being here today.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:01:35]:
Thank you much. Thank you.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:01:36]:
No problem. Thank you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:38]:
Well, I really appreciate you both being here. And I guess first and foremost, I wanna turn the clock back in time, Aqeel. I want to have you go back. I wanna go all the way back. I wanna go back to that first moment that you found out that you were going to be a father. To a daughter. What was going through your head?

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:01:55]:
Wow. Amazing. That is a trip down memory lane. I will say that. So the journey goes like this. My first son, which is the oldest, his name is Jabriel. And so when I was in the marine corps serving active duty, the One of my gunnery sergeants had a little daughter, and, I was just so marveled that she was, like, 2 years old.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:02:15]:
But she was so affluent, and her Noah. Was just incredible. She can carry on the conversation. I just was, like, from there, so I kept asking him, like, what are you guys doing? He just said he just told me that lesson. Just don't talk baby talk to them when they get older. So I had that in mind, but at the same time, our 1st child was a son. And let me tell you something.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:02:34]:
I think I forgot all about no That I wanted a girl first. So here we are. We're living in Hollywood, Florida. And I tell you, we came home, and I realized that, wow, No. It's finally happening. We've had we're here to have a girl. It was like, wow. Based off of my mother, my mother had boy, girl,.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:02:53]:
Which I have been the oldest, and my sister was the youngest. And so I definitely wanted to complete that, at least have a girl and a boy in this lifetime. And now here it was. We're about to bring this little thing right here that we call Jaylah into the world, and it was just Nuts. So amazing. I can still see standing in the delivery room now, and even our oldest son was standing at the foot of the bed too. No He was witnessing her coming into the world as well, and that is just I'm doing a poor job being able to put it into words because I can never find the words for that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:27]:
Now I hear from a lot of fathers that especially with daughters that there are times where the There is fear. There's fear in raising daughters, and I hear that a lot from a lot of dads. And I guess for you, what was or is your biggest fear In raising a daughter.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:03:44]:
Okay. We already get to the beat of this thing already. Yes. So my daughter and my wife contend that It is the same raising girls as it is boys, and I contend that it's not. There's a lot of protectiveness And no fault of her own, but I just I have always just felt like, you know, that hedge of protection. If I can't be there, no I'm always worried even when she was away in college. From walking through the house at 2 o'clock in the morning, and I think about it, she gets a call at 2 AM in the morning.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:04:20]:
And still sometimes now. And she may say, daddy, what in the world is going on? I said, oh, nothing. I'm good now. I just needed to hear your voice. But you just always wonder about something happening. And I and maybe we shouldn't think that way, but, You're just always wondering. With the boys, I feel like the boys, can handle themselves, but, you know, the daughter, the the daughter is everything. She you know, you think of her being left unprotected with no covering.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:04:49]:
And, You know, and I gotta tell the truth here. And, you know, Chris, when we think about who we were as little boys, we understand why we were about our little girls. So Definitely.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:02]:
And, Jaylah, how does that make you feel?

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:05:04]:
Well, you know what? Honestly, if you had been asking me this question probably about about 4 years ago. I'd probably laugh and just think it was a joke. But, in all seriousness, I think now, having grown into, Domino's. A woman. I do think that it's it's very interesting because it's true to it. You know? And I think the older you get, the As a young lady, you start to see the world more. You see men like that. You know? You see me and dad's age.You actually you work with some of the men on dad's age and just in that male group, and you start to pick up on how men think, How they speak, how they view themselves, and how they view others, and women as well. It it does as a woman, I feel like When you get older, it does make you,bea little bit more grateful for that. And I've had the Different, friends and associates and different groups who grew up without fathers, and dads or or what have you. And it's very interesting the To hear the difference in the response to that question. So when you're you

Fatherhood is a journey filled with an array of unique challenges and rewarding moments. In the Dads with Daughters podcast, guest Steve Steele sheds light on his personal journey as a father of four, offering insightful perspectives and valuable advice. From embracing the differences in raising daughters and sons to balancing work as a coach and family life, Steve shares his experiences and the lessons he has learned along the way.

Embracing Differences in Raising Sons and Daughters

Steve starts by highlighting the differences he observed in raising his son, Simon, and his daughters, Gianna and Shay. He emphasizes that each child is unique, showcasing distinct interests and needs. As a coach, Steve acknowledges the importance of engaging with his children's individual passions, even if they differ from his own. He underlines the significance of being a playful father, actively participating in activities that resonate with his daughters, thus fostering a supportive and understanding environment.

Parental Presence and One-on-One Time

The significance of one-on-one time with each child resonates throughout Steve's narrative. Given the demands of a coaching career and the challenges of raising four children, finding dedicated time for each child becomes essential. Steve emphasizes both physical and emotional presence, acknowledging that being mentally and emotionally available for his children is as important as being physically present. He shares the value of carving out time for individual interactions, aiming to create meaningful connections and memories with each of his children.

The Impact of Strong Family Foundations

An essential aspect of Steve's journey as a father is the strong foundation built within his family. He recognizes the immense support and understanding of his spouse, highlighting the significance of effective communication and shared responsibilities. Steve acknowledges the mutual respect and cooperation between partners, emphasizing the importance of showing love and support in front of their children. By fostering a strong marital relationship, he aims to provide his children with a positive example of love, understanding, and collaboration.

Work-Life Balance and Role Modeling

Balancing a demanding career in coaching with family life presents unique challenges, particularly during the football season. Steve discusses the importance of disconnecting from work-related responsibilities upon returning home, ensuring undivided attention towards his family. He underscores the significance of being emotionally available for his children, setting an example by expressing his emotions and demonstrating a respectful, loving relationship with his spouse.

Lessons from Steve: Presence and Love

Steve's journey as a father is a testament to the power of love, presence, and understanding. His experiences and insights exemplify the vital role that fathers play in shaping their children's lives. Through his dedication to being present, fostering individual connections, and promoting a strong familial foundation, Steve encapsulates the essence of fatherhood, serving as an inspiration for dads navigating similar paths.

As fathers, the lessons learned from Steve Steele's journey serve as guiding principles, emphasizing the significance of establishing strong relationships, fostering individual connections, and prioritizing presence and love in creating a nurturing environment for children. Steve's wisdom allows us to embrace the joys and challenges of fatherhood, reminding us that love, understanding, and presence are pivotal elements in nurturing and raising children to become strong, independent individuals.

In conclusion, the wisdom imparted by Steve Steele provides invaluable insights into the multifaceted journey of fatherhood, inspiring fathers to navigate this path with love, dedication, and a profound commitment to being present for their children.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to Dads With daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:
Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. Every week, I love being able to have a conversation with you, to sit down with you, to the Walk with you on this path that you're on to raise those strong, independent women that you want your daughters to become in the future. And every week, It is definitely such a great opportunity for me to be able to work with you on this journey because all of our journeys are just a little bit different. The way that we father is different, and that's okay.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:55]:
There's not one right way to father. We learn that every week through the people that come on the show, and I hope that you learn it from the dads that you are talking to in your own communities And that you talk to on a daily basis because it is important to have community, to build community, to the Create that community for yourself. Now every week, I love being able to have different guests on the show that are walking this journey in a little bit different way. And this week, we got another great guest with us. Steve Steele is with us today, and Steve is a father of 4. He's a teacher. He's a coach.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:32]:
He's doing a lot of different things, and his football team just won the championships in, in North Dakota. So we're excited about that as well. And we're gonna be talking to him about the journey that he's been on with his kids, and I'm really just excited to have him here today. Steve, thanks so much for being here today.

Steve Steele [00:01:51]:
Thanks for having me on. Always great to talk about parenting and, you know, how we can make our daughters' lives as good as they can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:57]:
Well, I really appreciate you being here. And first and foremost, I know you have 4 kids and I love the the show by being able to turn the clock back in time. And so I wanna turn the clock all the way back to that first moment that you found out you're going to be a dad To a daughter. What was going through your head?

Steve Steele [00:02:12]:
I didn't find out until she was born. We didn't find out on any of our 4 kids. We had our our boy, Simon, first. He's 6 now. And then, our second one was was Gianna, and, you know, we we actually were kinda stressing about names. You know, we had 2 boys' names picked out when we got married, and we had no girls' names. So, so it was Kind of one of those, soon as they told us it was a girl, and then we met her, then, we kinda had to figure out a name. So we ended up going with Gianna, and we loved that name, and then we and we obviously

Steve Steele [00:02:39]:
Loved her ever since. And then, same thing on that third one then, with Shay. Shay's our our 2nd daughter, and then ended up with Seth as our 4th, our little boy. So we've got Boy, girl, girl, boy. And, you know, like I said, it's it's never been so much of a preparation in terms of it being a girl or a boy because we had absolutely no idea what we were doing. We just the a healthy baby, and, we're blessed to have 4 of them.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:01]:
So as you said, 4 kids. You started with a boy, 2 girls, a boy. Talk to me about what you've learned along the way and some of the differences you've seen in going the From being a dad to a son to then being a dad to 2 daughters and now a son again. So what have you had to do differently in the way that you father As you became a father to a daughter.

Steve Steele [00:03:26]:
I think, honestly, this is one of those things where your 1st kid and I think everyone kinda says this. Your 1st kid, you're You're trying to be ultra prepared in all these things, and then, yeah, you have the 1st kid and kinda regardless boy or girl, you those books don't really tell you a whole lot once you you're faced with, raising this kid. And and, you know, I think that was a really good thing for us to understand was that, hey, you know, no matter how well you prepare, the You you can't be fully prepared to to drive home from the hospital with that beautiful baby, and then going into having a daughter, you know, everything was just Little bit different. You know, I think baby wise, I don't know that there's people that'll say it's one way. It's it's a little easier to sleep or not easier to the based off of boy or girl. I don't know that we found that.

Steve Steele [00:04:05]:
But, you know, once they kinda got into that playful age, you know, once they get into the the 2 year olds and stuff like that, then it it's definitely been a little bit different. So I think our boy, obviously, way more right into sports wanting to be like dad and do all these things, and our our the was way more into princesses and everything else. And as a coach, being able to embrace that side and not just be like, well, no. You know, we're only gonna do this, the You know, I'm gonna go play with Simon because I like sports more, which, obviously, I like sports more than princesses, but but still being ab

Being a father is a journey full of joy, challenges, and growth. In a recent episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, host Dr. Christopher Lewis welcomed guest Tim Cox, a father of two, to discuss the unique experiences and challenges of raising daughters. Their heartfelt conversation touched on various aspects of fatherhood, including creating special moments, balancing work and family, mental health, and nurturing unique connections with each child as they grow. Let's explore some of the key takeaways and insights shared in this insightful episode.

Creating Special Moments and Individualized Experiences

Tim Cox emphasized the importance of spending quality time with his 8-year-old daughter, especially with the arrival of her 3-year-old brother. He and his partner make a conscious effort to create separate and special experiences for each child, recognizing their individual needs and interests. This highlights the significance of fostering unique connections with each child and ensuring that they feel valued and cherished.

Engaging in activities that resonate with each child, such as playing games, being inspired by educational shows like Bluey, and sharing a love for music and creativity, plays a pivotal role in strengthening the bond between father and daughter. These shared experiences lay a strong foundation for building trust, communication, and lasting memories. It's a testament to the power of quality time spent with children, nurturing their emotional well-being and overall development.

Balancing Work and Family

The challenges of balancing work and family are a common concern for many fathers. Tim and Dr. Christopher acknowledged the difficulty of managing professional responsibilities while prioritizing family time. Tim, who works in social media for a university, expressed his struggles with finding a balance and not missing out on creating memorable moments with his daughter.

This resonates with many fathers who strive to provide for their families while also being actively engaged in their children's lives. It underscores the need for open communication with employers, setting boundaries, and making intentional choices to foster a harmonious work-life balance.

Nurturing Emotional Well-Being and Mental Health

Tim Cox's candid discussion about his daughter's anxiety and his own experiences with seeking help for depression sheds light on the importance of addressing mental health within the family dynamic. His openness in discussing anxiety and therapy with his daughter demonstrates the value of normalizing conversations around emotional well-being and seeking professional support when needed.

Moreover, Tim's journey towards seeking help for his mental health highlights the courage and resilience required to navigate personal challenges while also fulfilling the responsibilities of fatherhood. By sharing his experiences, Tim exemplifies the strength in vulnerability and the impact of prioritizing mental wellness for himself and his family.

Evolving Connections with Growing Children

As children grow, their needs, interests, and levels of independence evolve. Dr. Christopher emphasized the ongoing parental relationship as children mature, emphasizing the significance of adapting to these changes and nurturing evolving connections.

Tim's shared experience of deciding whether to prioritize his daughter's emotional distress over work underscores the nuanced decisions fathers face as they support their children's emotional well-being. This highlights the importance of being present, empathetic, and responsive to the dynamic needs of growing children.

Embracing Imperfections and Collective Learning

Tim's advice to other fathers to acknowledge their imperfections and learn from others reflects the humility and willingness to grow as a parent. Fatherhood is indeed a collective learning experience, and the willingness to seek guidance, connect with other fathers, and learn from different perspectives enriches the journey of raising empowered daughters.

In conclusion, "Dads with Daughters" continues to provide valuable insights and resources for fathers, encouraging them to embrace the joys and challenges of parenthood. Tim Cox's thoughtful reflections and experiences highlight the significance of creating special moments, navigating work-life balance, prioritizing mental health, nurturing unique connections with growing children, and fostering a collective approach to parenting. As fathers engage in these conversations and embrace the journey of fatherhood, they play an integral role in shaping the lives of their daughters and creating enduring bonds built on love, support, and understanding.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to Dads With daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:
Welcome back to the dads with daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, the Raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. As always, every week, I love being able to sit down with you, to Talk to you to be on this journey alongside of you. Because as I've told you many times, I've got 2 daughters myself, and I the feel like I'm learning something every day, and I know that you have the same type of path that you're on. And we're at different phases in our daughters' lives, but that doesn't mean we can't learn from each other and we can't support each other along the way. That's why every week I love being able to sit down with you to be able to talk about issues that are sBeing a father is a journey full of joy, challenges, and growth. In a recent episode of "Dads with Daughters," host Dr. Christopher Lewis welcomed guest Tim Cox, a father of two, to discuss the unique experiences and challenges of raising daughters. Their heartfelt conversation touched on various aspects of fatherhood, including creating special moments, balancing work and family, mental health, and nurturing unique connections with each child as they grow. Let's explore some of the key takeaways and insights shared in this insightful episode.ometimes the Ones that are not that easy to handle or not that easy to talk about, but sometimes they're lighter issues or things that the We all just deal with in everyday life, but we kinda struggle through it. And I think it's important toTalk about these things to be able to have honest conversations about them so that we can normalize it the And allow for all of us to know that that it's okay. It's okay to talk about these things, to be able to the Engage with other dads about these things, and that's why every week I love being able to bring you different guests, different people with different experiences that have gone through either being a father to a daughter or have other resources or things that they are doing to support dads. Because we have to be able to ask for the help that we need when we need it, and that's why it's so important that we have these every week. This week, we got another great guest with us. Tim Cox is with us. Tim is a father of 2, and we are gonna be talking about Being a dad to a daughter and what that's been like for him. I'm really excited to have him on. Tim, thanks so much for being here today.

Tim Cox [00:02:14]:
. Thank you for having me. I'm very excited to be on this.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:17]:
Now I will be honest and say that Tim has been a part of the fathering together family for many years. He was one of the the Initial people that was part of our leadership team and helping us with our Facebook communities, helping us with our videos, and helping us to Doc. To really amp up the way in which we were telling our story, so I am excited that we that I'm finally getting him on the show. The And 1st and foremost, Jim, one of the things that I love doing is turning the clock back in time, and I wanna go all the way back to that the moment when you found out that you were going to be a father to a daughter.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:50]:
What was going through your head?

Tim Cox [00:02:50]:
I think I was scared. My daughter is the 8 years old now. I just turned 44 2 days ago. So I was you know, we waited a little later in life. I was 36, I guess, And I was nervous. My wife and I had decided that we weren't going to have children, and we were kind of enjoying our younger days with that. The And then we sort of you know, we had our nieces, and then they started to grow up.

Tim Cox [00:03:14]:
And then we were like, okay. You know, maybe we do want kids. And so we decided to have a Dyle, and it was definitely nerve wracking. I was trying to read every book I could find. I was trying to find everything . Possible every resource, talking to people. It was it was a a wild time.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:32]:
It definitely can be a wild time, especially the As you said, you know, there's no one right way to father, and there's lots of books out there. There's lots of resources out there that you can turn to and other dads that you can turn to as well. Now you talked about having some fear at the beginning of having your daughter. The What would you say has been or is your biggest fear in raising your daughter?

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In a special episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, guest Daniel M. Rose joins host Christopher Lewis for a heartfelt conversation about the beautiful and sometimes challenging journey of fatherhood. As fathers to daughters, they share their wisdom and personal experiences, offering valuable insights on building strong, independent relationships with their children. This episode is a reminder that fatherhood is an ongoing journey of growth, grace, and understanding.

The Initial Fear and Ongoing Love:

Dan Rose vulnerably shares his initial fears and uncertainties when he found out he would be a father to a daughter. Like many fathers, he worried about being overprotective or not doing a good enough job in raising his daughter. This honest admission resonates with many dads, highlighting the common fear of not being able to provide and protect our children adequately. However, as Dan and Dr. Lewis attest, this fear is often replaced by a love that grows and evolves throughout the different stages of a daughter's life.

The Unique Bond and Shared Activities:

As the conversation unfolds, Dan Rose emphasizes the special bond and shared activities between him and his daughter. It's heartwarming to hear how, despite initial differences, they found common ground through shared interests in pop culture and TV shows, particularly during the challenging time of the lockdown in March 2020. This emphasizes the importance of staying open-minded, adaptable, and finding ways to connect with our children, especially during difficult circumstances.

Teaching Gratitude and Building Foundation:

A significant takeaway from this conversation is the importance of teaching gratitude and being thankful for what children have from a young age. Dan acknowledges that building a foundation of gratitude in childhood allows for more freedom and less overreaction in parenting during middle and high school years. This essential parenting aspect reminds us of the significant impact that instilling values of appreciation and mindfulness can have on a daughter's development.

Responding with Grace and Vulnerability:

Dan's emphasis on responding to his children with grace, understanding, and vulnerability rather than judgment or discipline, is a vital aspect of nurturing strong father-daughter relationships. This echo from Dr. Christopher Lewis aligns with the podcast's focus on embracing grace and vulnerability in fatherhood. It's a reminder that by being open, empathetic, and willing to embrace our vulnerabilities as fathers, we can foster trust, openness, and resilience in our daughters.

Initiating Honest Conversations and Building Trust:

The importance of treating daughters with respect and initiating honest conversations to strengthen the relationship cannot be understated. Dan encourages fathers to respond with love, listen, and learn from their daughters, fostering a relationship built on trust, respect, and understanding. This highlights the significance of creating an environment where daughters feel heard, valued, and supported. Moreover, it emphasizes the role of fathers in providing a safe space for open, honest conversations with their daughters. Conclusion: In this deeply insightful and emotionally resonant episode, '

Dan Rose and Dr. Christopher Lewis remind us that fatherhood is a journey of grace, gratitude, and vulnerability. By embracing these qualities and nurturing open, loving relationships with our daughters, we can empower them to grow into strong, resilient individuals. This episode serves as a powerful testament to the enduring bond between fathers and daughters, and the profound impact of intentional, empathetic parenting.

In this episode, Dan Rose's vulnerability and Dr. Christopher Lewis's thoughtful insights offer an invaluable roadmap to fathers everywhere on the profound and transformative journey of raising daughters. Through these conversations, we can glean wisdom and solidarity that enriches our own journeys as fathers.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to Dads With daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:
Welcome back to the dads with daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong independent women. The Really excited to have you back again this week. Every week, I love being able to sit down with you and talk with you about the journey that you're on and really the Go on this journey with you because as you know, I've got 2 daughters myself, and you never stop parenting. You never stop being a father, the And you're gonna continue to learn because the different phases of life that your kids are in are gonna push you in many different ways, ways that you the Right now are probably not even expecting, or if you are older and have kids that are older, you may be looking back and saying, oh, I wish I would have known. The And you could give some good advice too. But I love being able to to sit down, talk to you, have you listen every week because Doug. It is a journey, and it is something that we all can work on to become better at, to just like anything that we do. And by being able to listen to others, to learn from others, and be open to being vulnerable in many different ways and being open to learning and trying new things, you will be able to be that engaged dad that you wanna be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:37]:
This week, we got another great guest with us today. Dan Rose is with us, and Dan is a father of 2. He's got both a son and a daughter. We're gonna be talking about his Dog. His experience as a dad of daughters. He is a pastor of a network of house churches and works to Bring his ministry all over Southeast Michigan and works with a number of different communities as well. Dog. So I'm really excited to have him here.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:04]:
I've known him for many years, and I'm really excited to be able to talk with him today. Dan, thanks so much for being here today.

Dan Rose [00:02:10]:
Iam glad to be here, man.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:12]:
I'm excited to have you here as well. And one of the first things that I always do and love to do is turn the Doc. Back in time. And you've got 2 kids now that are grown and flown. They are older now and out of the house and doing their next the The thing is they are preparing for their journey into adulthood. When you think back to the very beginning and you go back to that first moment, that first moment when you found out that you were going to be a the Father to a daughter.

Dan Rose [00:02:39]:
Whatwas going through your head? Abject fear. That was was the first thing. To be our son was born first, and I grew up with the 2 younger brothers, and so figuring out how to be a dad to a son seemed pretty straightforward. And, when we found out we were having a daughter, That was scary. And and yet it was also kind of the sense of just what an honor That it was gonna be to raise a daughter and thinking about what it would mean to be a daddy as opposed to just a dad. And Shortly after Libby was born, Amy was working with college. Amy, my wife, was working with with college students, and She wanted me to to write a little thing for these girls in her bible study about what does it mean to raise a daughter, to be a girl dad, which wasn't a phrase at the time. So for me, it was the this this idea of of being a daddy and being being someone who would be able to take strength and the Give it to my daughter so that as she moved out in this world, that she would be as strong as my son and be able to hold her own because, boy, this world is it's just hard, and it's particularly hard, I think, for women.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:49]:
Now you kind of touched on this just a little bit, but you also said that When you found out that you were going to be a father to a daughter, you were scared, there was fear. What would you say was or is your biggest fear in raising a daughter?

Dan Rose [00:04:01]:
I think one of my biggest Fears was being too protective, was overprotecting her, making her dependent on me in such a way that She felt like she was gonna have to go through this world needing a man or something along those lines. But then kind of the the the alternative of doing such a a the Poor job that she would not like men at all or that she would be not trusting of men or would fear men or would just have some sort of the Irrational relationship towards men. So kind of a double edged sword there on the fear thing. Too much and too little. Trying to figure out how do you stand on that razor's edge.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:41]:
The Now as I said, your daughter now is older, and she has gone off to college and doing some different things. The And I guess as she went through those phases in her own development, as you went through those phases the Throughout her development and you think back to the fear that you said that you did have, how does that look different now that she left the house and gone to that next the phase of her life.

Dan Rose [00:05:08]:
Yeah. So she just finished her 3rd semester at Michigan State. And

In a heartfelt and candid episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, Dr. Christopher Lewis engages in an inspiring conversation with Joe Martin, the owner of Relentless Positivity Fitness and a dedicated father. As Joe reflects on his journey as both a father and a mentor to middle school-aged children, he emphasizes the importance of perseverance, positivity, and building strong relationships. The discussion delves into Joe's personal struggles, triumphs, and the profound impact of leading by example in fatherhood and fitness.

Mentoring and Building Relationships:

Joe Martin sheds light on the pivotal role of mentoring, particularly with middle school-aged children, recognizing this age group's vulnerability and potential. He stresses the significance of trusted resources outside the home, like a coach, in connecting with kids and fostering meaningful relationships. Joe's emphasis on building relationships with children through shared activities and finding common ground underscores the powerful impact of positive mentorship.

Fitness and Overcoming Challenges:

As the owner of Relentless Positivity Fitness, Joe Martin's passion for fitness emanates from his experiences as an athlete, where he battled weight gain and injury during his football career. Through his own fitness journey, Joe not only overcame adversity but also redefined his identity. His journey serves as a testament to the transformative power of perseverance and the impact of modeling a healthy lifestyle for children.

Personal Transformation and Resilience:

Joe Martin's openness about his past struggles, including arrests and incarceration, offers a poignant insight into his journey of redemption and personal transformation. His determination to change his lifestyle, while initially centered on weight loss, ultimately led to a holistic transformation, reinforcing the importance of resilience in overcoming adversity.

Parenting and Fatherhood:

The conversation pivots to the challenges and triumphs of fatherhood, with Joe Martin eloquently articulating the emotional journey of watching his son embark on a new chapter at the Air Force Academy. Through his vulnerability, Joe emphasizes the importance of allowing children to fail, sharing personal struggles, and prioritizing one's spouse in parenting. His candid reflections resonated with Dr. Christopher Lewis and emphasized the depth of emotional investment inherent in fatherhood.

The Power of Positivity and Community:

Joe Martin's dedication to spreading positivity is not confined to fitness but permeates his podcast and book, both titled "Relentless Positivity." During the conversation, the significance of countering negativity with uplifting narratives and inspiring stories becomes evident. His book, combining personal experiences with lessons on fitness and back pain management, emphasizes flexibility and inspiration over rigid approaches—underscoring the value of a positive mindset.

Fatherhood Insider and Community Engagement:

Dr. Christopher Lewis invites dads to join the Fatherhood Insider, a valuable resource, and encourages involvement in the Dads with Daughters Facebook community. This proactive approach seeks to foster a supportive environment where fathers can learn from each other's experiences, gaining insights and strengthening their roles as active participants in their daughters' lives.

The engaging conversation with Joe Martin encompasses the profound impact of mentorship, fitness, and positive parenting. His journey from adversity to resilience, coupled with his unwavering dedication to fatherhood and positivity, serves as an inspiring example to all. By amplifying the importance of building strong relationships, personal transformation, and embracing a mindset of relentless positivity, Joe Martin's narrative resonates deeply with the mission of "Dads with Daughters" in promoting and empowering positive father-daughter relationships.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to Dads With daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:
Welcome back to the dads with daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong, independent Women. Really excited to have you back again this week. As always, every week, you and I are on a journey together. You know, I've got 2 daughters. You've Got Daughters. We're on this fatherhood journey together, and we're doing the things that we can do to be able to be the best dads that we wanna be. And the That comes with work, that comes with some hard work, that comes through the days, the weeks, the months, the years that the You go side by side with your children to be able to help them to be the people that you're hoping that they become, and you don't have to do this alone. I've said that Numerous times, and I will continue to say it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:03]:
There are so many other dads out there that are going through the same journey, And they struggle with very similar things, and they go about fatherhood in different ways. And that's why it's so important that we have these conversations, that we sit down, we Dog. Talk about it. We build a community for you to be able to meet other dads, learn from them because there's no one right way the father. There's many different ways that people do father, and you learn along the way. You learn as things change in your life, in your kids' life. And you can learn from the dads around you, but you can also learn from dads through things like this. That's why every week I love being able to Dog.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:42]:
Talk with you, sit down with you, and bring you different guests with different perspectives, different experiences that can help You to think about fatherhood in a little bit different way. This week, we've got another great guest with us. Joe Martin is the owner of Relentless Positivity Fitness. He teaches in person as well as online classes. He's won several awards, including Huntsville's healthiest trainer, Huntsville's healthiest male. The Relentless Positivity Fitness was was just recently voted the best place in Huntsville to work out, and his book, the Relentless positivity hit the Amazon's bestseller list. Now we're gonna learn a little bit more about that, but he has a long journey of being a athlete and working in fitness and found also at one point, he was above 50 pounds overweight. And I I think all of us at one point in life can probably look at that and look at ourselves and say, are we where we wanna be, and how is that impacting us as men, But also how is that impacting us as fathers? And it's a it becomes a turning point for yourself, and it was a turning point for Joe too.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:47]:
So I'm really excited to be able to to learn from him today, learn from him as a father. He's a father of a son who is just about to go off to the Air Force Academy, and he's gonna grow. He's gonna fly off the nest here to go and do go into the next phase of his life. Doug. So he is going through when I what I told you I was going through last year. So I'm really excited to talk to him, to learn from him, and to share him with you. Joe, thanks so much for being here today.

Joe Martin [00:03:14]:
Dog. I'm really excited to be here. We talked a little bit before we we started that there's no instruction manual when it comes to being a dad. So what you're doing is so important. Building strong dads out there that can build strong daughters Doc. It's so important. It kinda, you know, that old Frederick Douglass quote talked about it. It's it's much easier to build strong children than it is to fix or or repair a broken man or a Woman.

Joe Martin [00:03:32]:
I'm in the fitness world, so I've been training women exclusively for 15 years. And a lot of the stuff they're dealing with as adults goes back to childhood. What you're doing right now, helping people cut that off before it ever happens, man. It's so important. So I appreciate what you're doing out there.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:44]:
So now I usually start with some conversations to talk about the What it was like to be a father of a daughter. You don't have that experience, but you do have a you were a father of a son. So talk to let's go back a little bit. Let's talk a little bit about that journey that you've been on the And what you've had to learn along the way. So let's turn the clock back. Your son is a senior in high school, and as you think back to that first moment, the first moment when you found out that you were going to be a father, what was going through Doug.

Joe Martin [00:04:07]:
Man, all the emotions. All of them. You think, oh my gosh. I'm not ready. I'm excited. I need to make more money. I need to be less busy. All these things are going through your head.

Joe Martin [00:04:16]:
Doc. You don't know what to expect. You know, anytime you you're doing something new, all the fear comes in. Also a lot of excitement, and I was really excited about being a dad. I had amazing parents gro

As the societal landscape continues to evolve, it's crucial for dads to have open conversations and seek understanding when it comes to supporting youth in the LGBTQIA+ community. In a recent episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, David Samson, a father and advocate for LGBTQIA+ youth, shared his experiences and insights. From fatherhood to the work he does at Time Out Youth, Samson shed light on the challenges, triumphs, and the importance of creating a supportive environment for LGBTQIA+ youth. In this blog post, we explore key takeaways from the conversation to provide guidance for dads looking to support their children and other LGBTQIA+ youth.

Fatherhood: A Journey of Understanding and Acceptance

Fatherhood is often described as a journey, and for David Samson, it’s a journey filled with unique challenges and triumphs. Samson emphasized the importance of creating a supportive community for fathers raising daughters and navigating the complexities of fatherhood. He underlined the significance of not parenting alone and highlighted the need for fathers to engage with other dads for support and guidance.

For fathers of LGBTQIA+ youth, Samson’s perspective offers a valuable reminder that parenthood is an ongoing learning process. Each child’s journey is unique, and it’s crucial to provide unwavering love and support no matter what. Samson beautifully articulated the joy and challenges of being a father, touching on profound moments such as the first day his son went to school, demonstrating the emotional layers of parenthood.

Supporting LGBTQIA+ Youth: Challenges and Opportunities

When discussing his work at Time Out Youth, Samson highlighted the vital support they offer to LGBTQIA+ youth. From mental health services to housing support and community engagement, the organization serves as a beacon of acceptance and advocacy. The issues faced by LGBTQIA+ youth are complex and varied, ranging from homelessness to societal unacceptance. Samson discussed the challenges faced by trans and nonbinary youth, emphasizing the crucial need for understanding and support in today’s society.

Through his insights, Samson underscored the impact of the recent years, including the COVID-19 pandemic, on LGBTQIA+ youth. The increased periods of isolation and trauma have highlighted the critical need for supportive environments and understanding from family and the broader community. Dads of LGBTQIA+ youth can leverage resources such as Time Out Youth and PFLAG to enrich their understanding and create safer, more supportive spaces for their children.

Embracing Change and Acceptance

An essential aspect of Samson’s narrative is the potential conflicts parents may encounter when their children come out. He emphasized the importance of choosing to support and believe in one’s child, even when it challenges long-held beliefs. Samson acknowledged the internal struggles but emphasized the necessity of prioritizing one’s child over preconceived beliefs. Dads in this situation can find solace in resources like PFLAG and Trevor Project, which offer guidance and support in navigating conversations and acceptance.

Educating and Advocating

A Call to Action for Dads Samson highlighted the importance of being actively involved in youth-serving organizations and advocating for the LGBTQIA+ community. By participating in local prides, engaging with neighbors, and opening conversations about acceptance, dads can foster inclusive communities. Being present and supportive serves as a powerful start to effecting positive change in society.

The conversation with David Samson offers valuable insights and guidance for dads looking to provide support and understanding for their LGBTQIA+ children and other youth. As fathers, embracing change, practicing patience, and committing to learning and understanding are essential in creating inclusive environments for all children. By engaging with resources and proactive conversations, dads can empower themselves to be unwavering beacons of love and acceptance for LGBTQIA+ you

Navigating fatherhood while supporting LGBTQIA+ youth presents its own set of challenges and responsibilities. However, by acknowledging the significance of acceptance, education, and advocacy, fathers can create an environment that nurtures and uplifts all children, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. The conversation with David Samson provides a compelling and informative starting point for fathers to embark on this journey and become stalwart advocates for LGBTQIA+ youth.

Through empathy, openness, and a willingness to learn, dads can play a pivotal role in shaping an inclusive world for their LGBTQIA+ children and others in the community.

In conclusion, Samson’s insights and experiences highlight the transformative power of loving and supporting one’s children unconditionally, thereby forging a future that embraces and celebrates diversity and inclusion in all its forms.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to Dads With Daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:
Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong independent women. Doc. Really excited to have you back again this week. Every week, I love being able to sit down with you, to work with you, to be able to talk to you Dog. About this journey that you and I are both on. I've tie told you before, I've got 2 daughters myself. I've been where you are at, And I know that every day is a little bit different, and every day is a journey. The biggest thing here that and I say this over and over again to you is that the You don't have to do this alone.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:54]:
It is so important to know that there is a community of fathers out there that you can reach out to, that you can talk to. The You don't have to go alone and think that you have to father alone because that's really lonely, and that is really Docs. It's something that that that a lot of times as society, we've kinda feel like we have to man up. We have to the Figure it out for ourselves and you don't. So that's why it's so important that every week we sit down, we talk, we learn together from other their fathers from other people with many different resources that they're sharing to be able to help you on this journey that you're on. Every week, I also love being able to bring you different guests, the different people that have had different experiences that are fathers that have resources that are here to help you Doc. To be that dad that you wanna be in today, we got another great guest. David Sampson is with us today.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:49]:
And David is a father. He is the He lives down in North Carolina, works for a organization called Time Out Youth, and we're gonna talk more about that today. The David has worked to raise over $30,000,000 in funds to support nonprofits, but he works with youth to help youth in many different ways. And the And the things that he's doing, especially in the intersection of working with LGBTQ youth, I think is really important because the All of us are working with different kids. Our kids are maybe in that same community, and we have to be able to support our kids no matter what. The So it is important to understand and to know, you know, what David has learned along the way in working with youth, the But also learn about his own experience in being a father as well. So I'm really excited to have him here. David, thanks so much for being here today.

David Samson [00:02:41]:
Hey. Thanks so much. It's so great to be here and to be able to share some perspective with you and the great folks who are listening and who you're supporting. I really appreciate it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:50]:
I appreciate you being on. And 1st and foremost, we gotta talk about you being a dad because you are a father of a son. I wanna turn the clock back in time. I wanna go back to that first moment that you found out you were going to be a the Father, what was going through your head?

David Samson [00:03:01]:
I have a 5 year old son. Gosh. When I found out I was gonna be a dad, it was At the end of a very long journey, Jasper was born via surrogacy. So the planning for him to come really was Decades worth of work, honestly. It was, you know, saving money and planning and trying to understand what it meant to be a gay dad in this world. We had just no marriage equality. So we were sort of in the midst of a transition as a country, but I always knew the From the day that, really, I became an adult that I wanted to be a parent. So to have that opportunity to have and and raise such an an amazing boy was a dream come true, no Quite honestly, I remember the 2nd we got the positive pregnancy test, I was just, like, in tears.

David Samson [00:03:48]:
And I don't think I stopped crying from that point until Dom. The 2nd I held them in my arms for the 1st time, it was really magical.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:56]:
Now I have to ask this question because I think the You have that glow and that that magic. As you said, it's magical when you're hol

In a heartfelt and insightful episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, best-selling author, pastor, and evangelist Kelly K shares his personal journey of parenting, step-parenting, and maintaining faith in the modern world. Joining the host, Christopher Lewis, Kelly K offers valuable advice and wisdom on the importance of consistency, faith, and instilling self-worth in children. Let's delve into the key highlights of this enriching conversation.

Consistency in Parenting and Faith:

Kelly K underscores the significance of consistency in parenting, emphasizing the need to instill godly principles in children despite the evolving landscape of parenting approaches. His message of open and honest communication, treating children with respect, and nurturing self-worth resonates deeply in today's world. By sharing his personal experiences in guiding his daughter through challenging relationships and finding solace in the teachings of the Bible, Kelly K encourages parents to embrace a steadfast approach in shaping their children's lives.

Parenting Daughters and Instilling Self-Worth:

Christopher Lewis delves into Kelly K's experience of being a father to daughters, acknowledging the challenges of instilling value and self-worth in them. Through Kelly K's candid narrative of guiding his daughter through difficult relationships and ultimately witnessing her find a godly partner, listeners gain invaluable insights into the complexities of raising strong, independent daughters. This segment serves as a reminder of the pivotal roles fathers play in shaping their daughters' identities and fostering their resilience.

Using Social Media as a Mission Field:

Kelly K's unexpected journey of utilizing TikTok to spread messages of religion and spirituality unveils a fresh perspective on engaging with a younger demographic. By viewing social media as a mission field and voicing the initial hesitance followed by a divine calling to connect with the platform, Kelly K presents a compelling narrative of adapting to novel ways of spreading faith and values.

Authentic Content Creation and Faith:

Emphasizing the essence of authenticity in content creation for the younger generation, Kelly K touches upon the significance of making biblical truths relatable and comprehensible in today's society. His success on TikTok is attributed to providing a fresh perspective on biblical teachings, underscoring the impact of authenticity and relevance in reaching a global audience through social media.

Empowering Through Devotionals and Writing:

Kelly K's transition to becoming an author and the motivation behind writing "Think About That for a Minute, Volume 2, a 40-day devotional for a fresh perspective" further exemplifies his unwavering commitment to sharing God's word. Addressing the pressing issue of biblical illiteracy in today's generation, Kelly K's dedication to crafting devotionals that resonate with his audience signifies an empowering endeavor.

Navigating Step-Parenting and Family Dynamics:

Kelly K's poignant account of his step-parenting journey sheds light on the complexities and rewards of building strong family bonds. His emphasis on displaying love, grace, and mercy towards stepchildren serves as a testament to the transformative power of genuine relationships, offering guidance to individuals navigating similar challenges.

Kelly K's profound insights on parenting, faith, and embracing modern platforms to spread meaningful messages serve as an inspiration to parents, step-parents, and individuals seeking to integrate faith into their everyday lives. His unwavering commitment to instilling self-worth, resilience, and values in children resonates deeply, affirming the enduring impact of love, grace, and faith in our journey through parenthood.

In conclusion, this episode of Dads with Daughters with Kelly K imparts invaluable wisdom, serving as a guiding light for individuals navigating the intricate roles of parenting, step-parenting, and living a faith-driven life. For more engaging conversations and insights on fatherhood, join the Fatherhood Insider and the Dads with Daughters Facebook community. Visit kellykministries.com for more information about Kelly K and his transformative work.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to Dads With Daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:
Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Docs. Really excited to have you back again this week. I love being able to sit down and talk to you every week about the journey that you're on the In raising those daughters of yours. Every week, we have a great opportunity to be able to listen, to learn, to the Walk on this path together. And I say it's a path together because, you know, I've got 2 daughters. I know you've got daughters. You're listening because Dogs.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:48]:
You're passionate about your kids, and it is so important to be open to learning because there's no one right way to father. Dog. It's so important that you are open to be able to listen to others and listen to their experiences because you may find some kernels, some things that are Dom. Help you along the journey that you're on as well. I love being able to also bring you different people, different guests, different men, women, Dog. And others that have had different journeys, that they've been on different journeys themselves, that have different experiences and different resources that they can share with you. And today, Dog. Got another great guest.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:27]:
Kelly Kaye is with us, and Kelly Kaye is a best selling author, pastor, and evangelist the Whose passion is traveling the world telling people about Jesus. Kelly Kaye has made a huge impact internationally by leveraging social media with daily the Teaching videos on TikTok. Kelly's unique style of speaking and communicating the Bible has captured the heart and attention of 1,000,000. The He's also got a brand new book that he's working on. He's authored a couple of different books including Think About That For a Minute, the Volume 1 and volume 2, get lit, stay lit, spread it, and reckless love revolution. So it's got a brand new book that we're gonna be talking about as well that he's just finishing up, gonna be sending out into the world here very soon. But the Above and beyond that, he and his wife, Lindsay, have 5 children, and 3 of which are daughters. So we're gonna be talking about his own journey the As a father.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:23]:
Kelly Kaye, thanks so much for being here today.

Kelly K [00:02:25]:
Man, thank you so much for having me. It's an absolute honor.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:28]:
It is my pleasure having you here today. And one of the things that I love Dove. Doing. 1st and foremost, I wanna turn the clock back in time. You've got 5 kids, but we're gonna focus on those 3 daughters that you have. The Think back. We're gonna turn the clock back in time. What was the first reaction that you had when you found out that you were going to be a father to a daughter?

Kelly K [00:02:48]:
So first, let me explain. My oldest 2 daughters are actually my stepdaughters. So my oldest daughter is 23. Her name is Brennan, Dog. And then my middle daughter, she's 19. Her name is Avery. And then I have an, 2 year old daughter named Jet. Now I gotta tell you this, though.

Kelly K [00:03:04]:
Dog. I remember my my wife when we were dating, you know, she asked me, does it bother you that I have 3 kids? And in the moment, it was without hesitation the that I was able to say not at all. It didn't bother me at all because I had the most amazing stepmom in my life that you could ever I'm telling you, she was she raised me since I was 2 years old. Never treated me like I wasn't her child. The always included me. I never felt that she was not my mom. Right? And so I just kinda knew that god gave me her for a reason. And when I started dating somebody seriously that had children, it made sense to me, like, okay, god.

Kelly K [00:03:41]:
You gave me this stepmom because I'm gonna have to repay the What she gave to me to these other children, I didn't think I was gonna have to do it times 3, but god's got a sense of humor like that. So, honestly, when I found out I was gonna be a dad, it's Dog. Different than most people because, I'd already met these kids. That brings up another issue, though, is that Brennan, when I started dating my wife, Docs. She was 7 years old, and she thought that I was the enemy. She thought that her relationship with her mom and dad the Ended because of me, which that was not the case at all. They've, you know, long been split up before we started dating. But I had to make a choice to say, yes.

Kelly K [00:04:19]:
I I still wanna do this with her even though she was Making life pretty miserable for all of us for a short amount of time, but I ju