Episode 133: Rhinos and Cattle and Diversity

Episode 133: Rhinos and Cattle and Diversity

This is a great, light-hearted way to profile people.  And Stephen always tells it so well it feels like it should be in a book.

Rhinos and Cattle - One is not good, and one is not bad. 

None of us are all one or the other – it’s a spectrum that can help us to understand ourselves and those around us – it can help to improve how we work with others.

• Short description below - and scroll down for the first 10 minutes of the transcript.
• Loads more from Stephen on www.coachpro.online
• Full transcript available on www.rhinoconsulting.nl/podcast
• Any thoughts or suggestions - let us know at [email protected]

The story is a little playful – you hear it and you immediately start putting yourself into one of the 2 camps – and then you start looking around you and doing the same.  Your whole family and team are suddenly full of horns and black spots.

The spectrum so colourfully described is also a useful way to characterise yourself and those around you – by labelling you and others you can start to manage the relationships around you better – you to them, and them to you. 

There are many other charts that allow you to profile people – but this one I found to be useful.  There are others too.

The second part is the learning to appreciate that a balance is needed.  Without a team that can covers all skills and viewpoints you will be weaker. By acknowledging the different type of animals around you, there is now an understanding that you should manage the different personalities better. In the future you can use this knowledge to build an optimum team.

This move from “seeing the differences and denying them” - to toleration – to appreciating them - to actively seeking out complementary skills - is a valuable skill to learn and consciously employ.

Lastly, it’s an important learning that can be applied to other spectrum and differences.  Gender, age, cognitive models, backgrounds, roles… there is a huge and important movement to diversity and inclusion.  It’s important that everyone understands and appreciates that

1. Those that are different are not be tolerated. They are to be appreciated and valued.  They are strengthening your team and improving results if you embrace the perspective they can offer.
2. Those that are different- you were brought in to be different. Fitting in is a common and normal habit – it makes sense.  Find a way to fit in by being you. Keep your unique perspective. Be authentic – that’s the real value.

Transcript (AI generated so forgive the typos)

Warren Hammond  02:13

Today, as always, interesting topic, the Rhino and Cattle model. Now, I'm going to be working really hard not to say too much in this because this is a story I have abused and abused so many times, Stephen, that it's going to be good to get it from the horse's mouth so to speak. So let's get into it. The Rhino and Cattle model? What is it?

 

Stephen Gribben  02:40

In essence, what it is is a Profiling framework. It'll help you to see yourself and understand others more as a process so that you can authentically connect, engage, understand and appreciate both yourself and others intelligently, rather than just see yourself or others through an emotional prism.

 

Warren Hammond  03:03

So I just thought it was a nice wildlife story, but already you've come up with lots and lots of four syllable words. So it's a profiling framework. So how I think about it, and you tell me which bits are right and which bits are nearly right, let's put it that way, this is a way of looking at yourself, looking at other people, and helping you to see the differences between them without it being good or bad.

 

Stephen Gribben  03:31

Yes it's to understand those differences, and accept those differences. Appreciate those differences, be okay with those differences and value them and expect them as opposed to seeing them and judging them on the basis of whether you like them or not, or whether you agree with them or not. So that it gets beyond either asking people to be more like you, or feeling the pressure for you to have to be more like them.

 

Warren Hammond  04:00

And you use the word already 'intelligent'. We talk a lot about when you're thinking intelligently it is more complex and nuanced versus emotionally which tends to be binary, black and white, good or bad, hero or zero. This is part of that. Intelligently looking at somebody and seeing the many different shades of of skills in them. They're not good or bad. They are just different. Unique.

 

Stephen Gribben  04:28

Yeah, if you're going to have relationships and you're going to be of influence then you first have to connect. So you need to know where people are to be able to connect.  What this allows you to do, even with this profiling we're going to use the caricatures of a rhinoceros and cattle. This isn't, then, to label people as either being Rhino or Cattle. But to understand if they are more Rhino or more Cattle, so that we can define more intelligently where they are, as we did with Trust before.  There's emotional trust, which is 100% or 0%, the 99 boxes in-between is where intelligent trust sits. Well, when we're profiling people, in terms of their characteristics, this is an objective process to see where they are on a scale, as opposed to just putting them in a box.

 

Warren Hammond  05:22

This makes sense. We think about workplaces at the moment, we've got so many different generations, and then there's  ages, there's genders, there's so many different spectrum at the moment in play, I can see that this is going to be useful for that. So firstly, internally, why is this important in terms of my own self development?

 

Stephen Gribben  05:48

In terms of your own self development, and the four pillars of that are your Self awareness, Self confidence, Self management, Self determination. Having a greater self awareness of where you are on the spectrum, from know the extreme Cattle to the extreme Rhino, where you are helps you become more self aware of where you are, what's important to you, what works for you, what matters to you, how you see the world, it reinforces that self awareness. It then also supports that self confidence that if you're more Rhino, it's okay, and it's pretty cool to be a Rhino, and if you're more Cattle, it's okay and pretty cool to be Cattle. So it's having that Self-Confidence that I know who I am, I know what I'm about, I'm okay with that.

 

Warren Hammond  06:37

So that profiling, that naming you talked about before, is when you name something, it's easier to manage it. Using these profiles of Rhino and Cattle help you to name and identify and acknowledge certain characteristics about yourself. And as you said, once you become aware of it, be absolutely fine about it, then, okay.

 

Stephen Gribben  06:56

Yeah, because it helps you get beyond the 'is that a good thing or a bad thing? Is that a strength or weakness, is it right or wrong? It's an objective Profiling. So you can see it is what it is, and that's okay. And if you've got that self awareness, of what you are and you're confident then of what you are more of, then you can move on to that self management. Which is managing then how you communicate with yourself, how you connect with yourself, how you position things with yourself, to your natural strengths, and tendencies. And then the last element is about self determination. You're then more empowered, more in control of being able to say 'what do I want to be? What is my full potential? What do I want to develop? Being successful by being you. Now knowing and understanding more about who you are on that profile allows you then to determine what success would look like for you, what happiness would look like for you, what health and fulfilment would look like for you, and being able to determine that rather than wait to hear what others think is best for you.

 

Warren Hammond  08:06

So in this one, we're talking rhinos and cattles, it doesn't matter where you are on it. But once you understand which you are, you can then use that to your advantage to determine what's going to happen next. You don't have to pretend to be something else, this is who you are. And that's enough. And that's good enough already.

 

Stephen Gribben  08:27

Yeah. And as I say, it takes you beyond the labelling of good or bad, right or wrong, strong or weak. It's just an objective, this is where you fit. In your opinion, this is where you fit and therefore, let's start from there, rather than the where am I not, who am I not, looking at the gaps all the time. It is building upon what's there. And then you take that externally to others, So if the self development is your piece in it, the external benefit of this is then it helps you build stronger relationships, authentic, genuine, sincere relationships, you being you, and them being them. It also allows you to connect. You don't have to be the same to connect. It's not about having something in common. It's about creating a connection. And therefore with that connection, you can be far more influential, you can add more value, you can make more of a difference. And the difference is it's of value to that other person. Because you have that connection. You will also have greater harmony through this, and importantly, less conflict. Because you're not forcing your way of looking at the world onto someone else who sees it differently. You will understand and expect they're going to see this differently and theref

Episode 132: Satisfaction & Loyalty

Satisfaction and loyalty – the holy grails for relationships – personal, professional, internal and external.

The two are mentioned in the same sentence all the time – like a double act in comedy, foods that complement each other or a famous sporting duo – but they’re not necessarily found together all the time .

Satisfaction is an attitude – Loyalty is the behaviour.  People may be satisfied but not loyal – and loyal people may not be always satisfied

One way I considered it was pizza delivery– I’m usually satisfied with any of them and will happily order for any of the 4 nearby – I’m not particularly loyal to any one brand. 

Someone shopping for a car may start at their favourite brand – Audi – and end up buying BMW.  But in their heads, they remain a loyal Audi customer and will go back to Audi first next time.

Stephen walks us through this model that looks at different components that make up Satisfaction and Loyalty.  Once you understand them you can manage them.  And then you can decide which relationships you want to build up into ones that are full of satisfaction and loyalty.

Any comments or thoughts: email us at [email protected]

More great models at www.coachpro.online

Full transcript and blog:

https://rhinoconsulting.nl/episode-132-satisfaction-amp-loyalty Thanks for your support so far - please subscribe and share

 

The first 15 minutes of the podcast is transcripted below - 

 

Warren Hammond  00:56

Welcome back podcats, to another episode of our podcast. This one's a good one. I always say that, this one is a Loyalty and Satisfaction or Satisfaction and Loyalty. I'm always tempted to put in 'Customer' before that, it just seems to be one of those phrases that we always hear; Customer satisfaction and Customer loyalty, we spend ages talking about it. It's one of the key metrics for business success. That is covered and it's talked about, but also how we can take this into other areas of our lives. internal and external. So it's looking at the whole relationship. So it's good, there's a model, there's a six point guide at the end. So there's lots to take away. Any thoughts questions, give us a shout, [email protected] or find us on LinkedIn. There is a full transcript available for these so please look that up. And on www.coachpro.online itself there's loads more models and frameworks that you can use. So let's get straight into it. I’ll be back at the end with some brief comments. Here comes the cheesy music.

Warren Hammond  02:11

So here we are. Normal call signs, Edinburgh, can you hear me?

Stephen Gribben  02:16

Loud and clear

Warren Hammond  02:17

Loud and clear? It's not a surprise anymore. But when we started this a year ago, all the zoom and the video conferencing, it felt that this was almost magic, it was almost wizardry, the fact that we could hear each other, even though we were countries apart now is the most normal thing in the world. Anyway, today, we're discussing satisfaction, and loyalty. Now I know I've got in my head while I think of loyalty and satisfaction. And I'm immediately thinking of customers and NPS etc. And I also know that I always think about these things too small. So let's go to Stephen and get a formal definition that we can kick ourselves off with. So how should we think about satisfaction and loyalty? What's the definition we should be using Stephen?

 

Stephen Gribben  03:08

Well, satisfaction is about attitude. And loyalty is about behaviour.

 

Stephen Gribben  03:16

Typically in relationships, whether that is as a customer relationship, or a personal relationship, or professional relationship, satisfaction is the attitude, how you feel and how you judge; loyalty's about behaviour, which is about what you then do.

 

Warren Hammond  03:34

That's a good definition. Because I do you think that sometimes we use satisfaction in a broader way. But that makes sense. And so this is an attitude, this is how you're feeling about something. And loyalty is then how you're demonstrating that feeling that behaviour.

 

Stephen Gribben  03:51

Yeah, typically, this is used in the concept of customer and there's value in that. But you'll get customer satisfaction, which is based largely on your attitude of what's happened. But that doesn't necessarily always lead them to customer loyalty. So you'll get people who will say satisfaction versus loyalty, rather than satisfaction AND loyalty. And ideally, what you're looking for in a relationship is satisfaction and loyalty.

 

Warren Hammond  04:19

You're I mean, maybe it's because he's in the middle of the day. You know, we're not sitting in a pub with a beer or a glass of wine. Because if you were to talk about loyalty and satisfaction in a social setting, you do automatically think about relationships, but it seems very different when you think about customer relationships. But how you just said this is attitude and behaviour. Yeah, it's different relationships where both of these things are important.

 

Stephen Gribben  04:48

But if we hold on to that concept of customer, and the challenge that we've all got is how wide is your concept of customer. So, who do you consider or who could you consider to be a customer. I've used a model with clients for years, called the Client Box. I use this at home as well. In the client box, everything becomes kind of automatic for me, I know the parameters to work in. I know what I can get away with, what I cant get away with. I know what's good enough and what's not good enough. So for a client, in that client box, it becomes very clear on what professional and standard looks like. However, I can leave home in the morning and be asked what time will I be home at  tonight? And my answer could be, Well, it depends on what messages I get through what calls I have to do. What else comes in during the day. Probably sometime, it could be as early as four could be as late as eight'. Because at home, I haven't put my family in that client box. If I was to say to a client, the client said, Could you be there on Tuesday, and what time will you be here, and I say to him sometime between four or eight. And then they'll say 'well, do you want to just not bother coming along until you can tell us what time you're going to be here'. So sometimes putting things in the client box gives you absolute clarity on how you should be dealing with something in that relationship. And it's not for me to pretend my family are clients, no disrespect, they're  a lot more to than clients, but sometimes they deserve that attitude and behaviour that my clients benefit from

 

Warren Hammond  06:27

That firm border that you'd put around that. Even when you say the client box in my head, I've got that visual of a thick black frame, you know, around it, which you don't get through,

 

Stephen Gribben  06:39

We do this with family members. In business, we might do it with suppliers, we don't treat them as clients or we don't treat our colleagues the way we would treat clients. And people deserve to be treated as a client.

 

Warren Hammond  06:52

Okay. So this is a relationship then with way more than just intimates or customers, this is about satisfaction, as an attitude and loyalty as a behaviour, all around us. So this is a lot bigger already, as I'm getting accustomed to. So we talk a lot about personal growth, and especially about self development. So how does satisfaction and loyalty, and understanding that, fit within the whole self development philosophy?

 

Stephen Gribben  07:26

Well, as you know, the four pillars in self development are self awareness, self confidence, self management, and self determination. And what self development is about is focusing on your strengths and what you're really good at, and building upon those so that when you take on those gaps or areas of weakness that you want to improve, they become less challenging, and you're more authentic in it. So in terms of self awareness, what this is about is becoming more aware of the level of satisfaction and loyalty, so the attitudes and the behaviours that you want to foster or to have within relationships, both personally and professionally. So becoming more aware of what makes a relationship have satisfaction and loyalty to the level that you want.

 

Warren Hammond  08:15

So this is part of then understanding what the terms are the satisfaction and loyalty which we touched on which we'll go through more, but also understanding when you should be aware of satisfaction and loyalty, that's that whole self awareness thing. Okay,

 

Stephen Gribben  08:29

This is self awareness so you're consciously aware of what a good relationship looks like. So that you get beyond saying, we've got a great relationship or with that person I don't have such a good relationship, or you know, better relationships than others. It's having that self awareness, to be more conscious of why certain relationships are at certain stages. So you become more aware, therefore, you're already more empowered.

 

Warren Hammond  08:55

Love that. And that is the consciousness that we talk about as well. You're owning it. It isn't something happening to you, you've actually can see it, you're noticing it, you're acknowledging it, and therefore you've got a chance of working to make it better. Okay? So self awareness is the first plank,

 

Stephen Gribben  09:11

Then self confidence. And self confidence is making sure that if you're aware of what's going to driv

Episode 131: 3 Box Model - Deny, Fight or Use it

What is the 3 Box Model?

Philosophies and religions both talk about the concept that we can decide how we feel about events – it’s our choice on how we react.  This model takes that concept and helps you to do precisely that.  It is a framework that allows you to consider everything that has happened, is happening and may happen and supports you in deciding how you are going to react and to use it.

The three box model is a framework where you can consciously frame what has, what is or will happen in your personal or professional life. 

Why this is important

We can spend so much time and energy trying to bury things, pretend things are different, that we are different and when we do this, all that time and energy doesn’t move us forward.  It doesn’t make us happier.  By taking control of what is in each box we get to choose what to spend our time on.  Important in that is the ‘we”. 

We take control.  Nobody else. We get to determine what we want. We choose what will take our energy, time and focus.

Will a particular situation work against you, be a constant battle to control or actually work for you?

You get to choose.

This self determination is a key part of Self Development.

This model is a new tool in your mental tool box.  This can help you to prepare yourself for a better outcome – allow you to take more control over what is happening and what is going to happen next.  This means a more confident version of ‘You’. More authentic. A ‘You’ who is spending their energy better, leading to a more successful, happier version of you.  You get to channel issues and experiences so you get better returns and a higher self confidence

Stephen walks us through the model and the 3 boxes - Deny It - Fight it and Use it.

When Stephen first introduced me to this model there was an immediate impact - understanding the framework allowed me to make sense of some things that I was unable to nail down before.

Once we understand that there are 3 boxes with issues sitting within each it helps to make sense about some of the things that are working really well for us – and why we sometimes seem to struggle.  This understanding on its own is a confidence builder

Then there is the knowledge that the boxes remain where they are – but that issues can be moved from box to box.  And you can make that happen.  You can choose which issue is something you’re going to move up the chain and improve your own self confidence

As you get more comfortable with the model you get to think more strategically - Which situations work against you? Be a constant battle to control? Or actually work for you? Which situations is it time to move? Which do I need to acknowledge are there?

Some notes:

1 Naming – naming issues and situations is the start of objectifying them.  Once it is a a named object, it feels more controllable.  Visible. Manageable.

2 Acknowledge it – understand that it is in a box already.  Something you are already denying, fighting against or using.

3 Choose what you want to move.  There will always be something in each of the 3 boxes.  Some will remain where they are for a long time.  That’s ok – you’re choosing the order. Consciously.

4 One step at a time.  Don’t try to jump from Deny straight to Use it – ‘Fight It’ is a good staging post to get there.

5 Good things count too. Acknowledging and appreciating that good things live in the boxes too.  Don’t deny your own part in your successes.  Don’t fight against recognising your skills.  This will lead to a drop in your confidence and the Imposter syndrome.  Accept and Use what you did and let it fuel your next success.

Any thoughts or comments let us know at [email protected]

Full Transcript at

https://rhinoconsulting.nl/episode-131-three-boxes-deny-fight-or-use-it 

First 10 minutes transcript below

 

Warren Hammond  01:07

Welcome back Podcats to another conversation with me Warren, and CEO of CoachPro Stephen Gribben. Now, this is a good one. This one is about The Three Boxes. That's the best way for me to describe it, you hear me struggling to try and come up with a decent description later. But in my head is just the three box model. Very powerful. For one it's a simple model, which we all know is always useful. This can change how you look at anything that's ever happened to you and everything that's going to happen to you. So it's an important part of the optimal appraisal process, and the whole self-development. We have the choices. The choice of whether we're going to spend energy fighting these things, or denying these things, or using these things. Not going to say too much, you'll quickly see how simple this model is but how profound its influence can be. You'll enjoy this one. There's lots of good stuff in it.

 

Warren Hammond  02:07

As always, there'll be some notes, we're doing a full transcript now. So you can read along, if that helps. Blogs, there's the models on the different websites. So get involved, get in touch, if there's anything else you'd like us to cover, if there's any questions that you have. Email is [email protected]. Anyway, let's get going. Here comes cheesy music.

 

Warren Hammond  02:39

Today, as always, is a good topic. And how I think about this is the framework that it's described in. The three box model is how I think about it. And I use this and think about it in so many different ways. And I'm trying to think what is the perfect description for anyone listening to it. And the best I've come up with so far is this is a perfect model for better reframing of your past. Now, that's doesn't sound like the title of an album. But we'll go with it so far. So let's get to the expert, Stephen. Three box model. What is it? Explain to everybody who can't see into my head, what exactly is the three box model?

 

Stephen Gribben  03:32

The three box model is a framework where you can consciously frame what has, what is or will happen in your personal or professional life.

 

Warren Hammond  03:49

Okay, so this isn't just past then. So I've just said past. This is about today, what's happening today, what could happen tomorrow, this is about how you look at anything around you and think how do I put this into a better context?

 

Stephen Gribben  04:02

Yeah, it's a framework for empowering you to make that conscious choice and own where you place things that happen to you or things that you make happen in a way that has optimal benefit. So rather than things just happening to you or occurring, you get more of a sense of ownership, more of a self-determination of where that's going to go, how that's going to work for you, what you can use it for, how you're going to make that optimal. Whether it is labelled a good thing or bad thing or an okay thing to begin with emotionally, you making that conscious decision to then say I'm going to decide what I'm going to do with that. Whether that is a thing that's happened in the past, whether it's something that's happened to you just now or whether it's something that's on its way.

 

Warren Hammond  04:53

Okay. This is already bigger, as always. So this is anything that's going on around me, me, thinking in the self-development, consciously owning, this is the part this is going to play in my future outcome. This is how I decide how important or how I'm going to use this for whatever my future outcome is.

 

Stephen Gribben  05:21

Yeah, and look, this can be for the smallest practical things. I tend to first of all get to introduce this with clients, when they describe something as a Make or Break. And that's when I feel well, you really don’t want to leave that chance do you?

 

Warren Hammond  05:37

Okay. I think of this a lot when I think back, especially about past experiences, especially bad experiences. So we're talking in sales teams and stuff, then there's a way of recontextualizing, again, another awful word, about anything awful that's happened  to us. Let’s say a bad Q or a bad month, or a bad loss of a client. This is something that this model can be used to reframe it and make it better. But you're saying this is not just bad things from your past. This can be anything from today, from tomorrow, as well as from yesterday.

 

Stephen Gribben  06:16

I think most people would accept we naturally see, or create, rather the opportunity to learn from adversity, learn from mistakes, in order to improve things that haven't gone the way we'd wanted. I've always looked upon that and said, Well, what if we could also learn from our successes? What if we could build from a winning position? What if we could use the victory and use the great result, to learn from that also so that we can recreate and enhance that. So this is not a fix? This is a solution. This is a way of looking at the things that happen and get beyond that label of right wrong, good, bad, strong, weak, things I wanted, things that I didn't want or liked or didn't like, and saying, well,  that thing, which box is it currently in and which box do I want to start putting it in.

 

Warren Hammond  07:16

This is great. This goes straight to the heart, then of this whole self-development chat that we talk about is you know, the building on the strengths, that conscious ownership, there's looking at everything around you and deciding what you're going to make work for you. So where do we get started on this in the three boxes,

 

Stephen Gribben  07:35

First of all, as you've said this fits with self-development, and this is the 'why should you put things in boxes, first of all. There is a

Episode 130: Value Creation Model - Make Your Value Land with Impact

What is Value?  We sometimes define value by what it isn’t – cost, the price tag – but what is it? The definition Stephen introduces here is:  Value is how you define importance or worth.

Importantly – Value is in the eye of the beholder. It’s what the other person thinks that determines the value. Not you or your effort, time and money.

So think about everything you are doing.  Should it be valued? Is it considered by others as valuable?  And importantly - And everything happening to you.  Do you appreciate and recognise its value?

In this conversation we discuss the value of being aware of what is valuable that you do for others and for yourself; and what others do for you.  And once that is appreciated, we discuss the Value Creation Model - Stephen walks us through some steps that we sometimes use but should always use to ensure our Value lands with maximum impact.

If there is a disconnect between the assessment of value one of the parties will end up feeling undervalued, commoditised, taken for granted.  Disappointed.  And they will leave – taking their importance and value with them – which is why it is so important that you acknowledge the value from those around you.  If you are blind to the value that others are bringing all around you – they’ll soon pack up and go. And the value goes with them. 

What this model does is makes sure your Value lands with maximum impact.  This model works to ensure that the other party is clear in the importance and worth of your product, service, relationship, time, advice… everything.  So you feel valued, important, worthy.  An important note to add here – the other party can be ‘you’.  This can be an internal exercise.  

What the VCM does is allow your value to land with impact.  It’ll help you to light up the eye of the beholder.  It helps you to demonstrate your value in such a way that the other party is no doubt that your service, product, relationship, activity is of importance and of worth to them.  Which is great for sales, for commitment, for partnerships.

Once this model is understood it can be used to help build more value for everything you do.  If you cannot identify the value in the things you do – then stop.  If you can – use the model to ensure that the value is felt.  By you, by your friends, your family, colleagues and partners.

Full transcript available on rhinoconsulting.nl.  More models and frameworks can be found on CoachPro.online. Any thoughts, questions, suggestions - let us know on LinkedIn or email us at [email protected].

Thanks for sharing and your support - it is helping.

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Episode 129: Questions. Better Questions create Better Thinking creating Better Results

This podcast episode features a key tool in the Self Development toolbox - Questions. Questions allow you to take control and give guidance on where you are going to end up. Better Questions, bigger questions generate better thinking.  That thinking leads to better results and bigger outcomes.  Choose to be the one asking the questions and choose which questions are asked.

Welcome to this episode on Questions. This is a little bit bigger, as usual, than I thought it was going to be. I'll give you a clue. When I asked Stephen for the definition of a Question, he said, It is to elicit a challenge or to inspire a response.  Immediately that helped me to move into a higher gear. We get taught at a young age, we see it in the classroom and we see it in our careers that the person who's asking the Question is controlling the conversation, is controlling the room. So don't you want to be the one asking the Questions? To the room and to yourself. So there is that element of control.

Also this idea that Questions determine the thinking, which determines the results. So if you're not getting the results you want, dont question the thinking. Go back to your original Question. And this also takes us on to the idea that the bigger Question, gets you bigger results, bigger outcomes, more powerful. The basic idea to first of all, be aware of this, and how can you do this better? How can you manage this? And how can you use this to your benefit? How can you help this knowledge of how questions can work and their impact, they can have, how can you use this and turn it to your advantage? We spend a lot of time on this. Stephen goes through lots of different examples of questions, type of questions you can ask. And the sort of impact they can have.

Questions are at the heart of so many of the different conversations we've had and so you'll see so many things that we touched on before coming back. I've genuinely had this one resonating my head ever since we did it. I hope you enjoy this one too. Any thoughts or questions, please get in contact [email protected]. Check out the CoachPro.online website. Loads of information on there. Please take a look at that.

Full transcript on https://rhinoconsulting.nl/podcast-entries/betterquestions

Any thoughts? Any questions, any feedback? Do let us know.

Thanks for sharing, subscribing and liking - it all helps.

 

Below an excerpt from the transcript:

So today, as always, is a great topic: Questions. Now Questions is something we talked about pretty regularly, it came up a lot in the solution focused one, we spoke a lot about it there. And even in our tagline is we talk about the importance of questions. So this one's probably way overdue. So as always, let's get started. You always make the subject a lot more interesting than it sounds when we start. If we say to people, we're going to talk about questions, people aren't going to understand how deep and wide and important this is going to be. So let's start with the first question. What is a question? Lets start there. What is a question? What's the definition of a question, Stephen?

Stephen Gribben  04:34

Technically a question is a method to elicit challenge or inspire a response.

Warren Hammond  04:42

elicit a challenge or inspire a response. Okay. So you've already made it bigger. Just not just to get an answer. It's to elicit a challenge or inspire a response. Okay.

Stephen Gribben  04:56

It could be to get an answer, but it's a powerful method to elicit challenge or to inspire a response. So it's a method of communication. It's a strategy of influence. It's a demonstration of your value. And it can be a catalyst for greater impact and outcomes. So a question is to get an answer. But it can be used to communicate, to influence to demonstrate, and also to make things happen.

Warren Hammond  05:27

But even just using words like challenge and inspire in the definition, this is a weapon. This is a useful tool. And I don't think of questions as necessarily always being a part of my armory. But I should be.

Stephen Gribben  05:44

Questions are one of the most important things to have, to connect and to have impact, is having the questions.  You will have more influence from the questions you ask, than the answers that you give. One of the most important things about questions is that long after the answer has become redundant or irrelevant. The question is still standing. The answer may change. But really good questions stand the test of time, even though the answer to that same question in a year's time may be different.

Warren Hammond  06:20

That makes sense. So we talked about in these difficult times, for example, as a leader, what your team want to hear is that you're asking the right questions, even if the answers aren't available yet, or as you said, things will change. How people get confidence is knowing that you're asking the right questions. So as always, now I start to understand that I should be taking my questions more seriously, or how I use questions more seriously. Where do I start in building out my awareness of my questioning technique? Or is it about how many questions I ask? Or is it how I ask the questions or to whom I ask the questions? What's the first things I should be thinking about when it comes to my questioning approach?

Stephen Gribben  07:07

Well, the first thing is, once you're starting to understand the value, and the potential of having the questions, and it's one of the most common requests that I get is, can you just write down all those questions and give me them? And I have done that a couple of times, but finding your own questions is the most effective way of doing this. But there's the why you're asking this, the types of questions you're going to ask, there's the when to ask, there's the whom to ask. There's a whole number of areas and aspects of questioning that will determine how effective it is, and we're going to cover them all. So we're going to look at why questions are so important. And then we're going to look at the different types of questions to ask, we're going to look at how you're best to ask them. And then so we are fulfilling that popular request is we're going to give you some good questions at the end of this, in particular categories, that are going to help experience the value of those questions.

Warren Hammond  08:02

That's great. It's good. We're getting the list at the end as well. But I think as we go through this, it's just understanding that questions can take you into so many important places, isn't it? This is what you've explained and taught me before, is about this importance of better questions. But as you said, it isn't just the question itself is, when you're asking it, how you're asking it to whom you're asking it, because there's a lot of different things isn't it isn't just going to be, as you said, rattling off your list is understanding the importance of a questioning strategy. Okay, so what are the important things that I need to be thinking about when I'm asking questions? Where do I start? What's my starting point,

Stephen Gribben  08:43

Important to be first of all motivated to ask questions and so understanding the reasons why you ask questions, and particularly now,  why you need to be more aware and more conscious of the questions that you're asking not just to yourselves. But the questions you're then asking others. Questions are hugely, hugely powerful. And they can have a massive impact, positively or negatively. And so it's really important.  You and I are big exponents of self development, about taking ownership of your growth and fulfilling your own potential. So being more consciously aware of the quality of questions that you're asking. There's a fundamental to that, that you're asking positive questions. Otherwise, you can start asking negative questions, or questions that are neither positive or negative, and just get you to stand still. And this isn't about saying they're right or wrong. It's about being more conscious of making a choice. Am I asking the question I really need to be asking at this stage.

Warren Hammond  09:49

And this is asking yourself is pretty much what you're starting with here. And this is really powerful. So we talked a little bit about this in Affirmations, about the importance of those powerful statements to yourself to help, not drown out, but at least balance out all of the noise around you.

Stephen Gribben  10:07

Yeah, well taking ownership is really important Warren and it starts with you. You will never ask better questions of other people with any credibility than you're asking of yourself. So that personal leadership of you going first. If you're not asking great questions of yourself, you'll not know the great questions to go and ask other people. So it starts with you. And we are all the sum and substance of the question that we ask. And we've touched on this in a number of the sessions is that the quality of the question you ask, is the cause of the quality of thinking that you then have, which then we'll culminate in the quality of the result you produce. So the question is the cause the thinking is the symptom, the result is the consequence. So big questions, you'll have bigger thoughts, you'll have bigger outcomes; smaller questions, smaller thinking, smaller outcomes.

Warren Hammond  11:06

This is great. I love the idea of practicing on yourself as well. I mean, one, because then practice asking yourself bigger questions, and you'll get bigger results. But yeah, of course, you should start with you that makes total sense, doesn't it? Starting with you?

Stephen Gribben  11:22