The Self Aware Leader with Jason Rigby

The Dichotomy of Leadership: Embracing Complexity for Authentic Impact

As leaders, we are frequently taught to be decisive and project certainty. But the world, and the people we lead, are rarely black and white. Truly impactful leadership demands embracing the contradictory, the complex, and finding power in the uncomfortable "grey spaces." Teal Swan's thought-provoking exploration of dichotomy offers a powerful lens to re-examine how we lead, and how we see ourselves.

The Discomfort of "And"

Our brains crave simplicity. We want easy answers, neat narratives. Witnessing good and bad traits coexisting in a person – whether it's someone we manage, a public figure, or even ourselves – creates a cognitive dissonance most of us struggle to tolerate. This leads to:

• Demonizing or Glorifying: Biased narratives and all-or-nothing thinking warp our understanding of those we lead, undermining balanced judgment.

• Splitting: We compartmentalize, seeing team members as "all good" or "all bad" (and ourselves too!). This fuels inconsistent reactions and erodes trust.

• Lost Opportunities: When we can't tolerate nuance, we may miss out on the growth potential held within challenges and flaws.

Expanding Your Leadership Capacity: Becoming the Container

Teal Swan coins the term "And Consciousness" – the ability to hold opposing truths simultaneously. For a leader, this is transformative:

1. Beyond Judgment: By holding both good AND bad aspects of a person or situation, we lessen knee-jerk reactions and make more informed choices.

2. Seeing the Whole: This broader perspective helps us see potential blind spots in individuals and ourselves, fostering better long-term strategies.

3. Nurturing Growth: Understanding complexity allows space for people (including ourselves) to evolve, without feeling defined by past mistakes.

How to Become a Leader Who Holds Dichotomy:

• Question Your Assumptions: When you find yourself categorizing someone (or yourself) as "always" or "never," pause. Seek out information that challenges your current view.

• Explore the Root of 'Extremes': If you're stuck seeing someone as perfect or monstrous, ask yourself: how does this belief serve me? Am I avoiding something uncomfortable?

• Check Your Nervous System: All-or-nothing thinking spikes when we're stressed. Practice calming techniques to access a more objective mindset.

• Embrace the 'In-Between': Leadership isn't just about having all the answers. Model comfort with "I'm not sure yet," and invite your team to explore the nuance alongside you.

The Challenge of Authentic Leadership

It's important to note: This isn't about condoning harmful behavior or ignoring red flags. But it IS about becoming a leader who understands that people are messy, teams have rough patches, and even your own best intentions sometimes have unforeseen consequences.

Holding dichotomy means embracing the uncomfortable truth that great strengths can co-exist with deep flaws... even within ourselves. That's where transformative leadership begins.

Further Exploration:

• Teal Swan's video "And Consciousness" offers more depth on this concept. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27Tl8KIj6Xg]

• Blog Post https://tealswan.com/resources/articles/dichotomy/
  
  

Share your thoughts! How do you approach holding seemingly contradictory aspects of your team members, yourself, or leadership situations?

The Power of Incremental Progress: Unlocking Your Potential with the 1% Rule

Have you ever looked at wildly successful leaders and wondered how they got there? It's tempting to think they possess some extraordinary talent or luck that we lack. But the truth, as revealed in Tommy Baker's book "The 1% Rule," is often far less glamorous and far more accessible. It's about the power of small, consistent improvement.

The Secret? It's in the Process

Baker's central premise is that if you commit to being just 1% better at your chosen field, passions, or leadership goals every single day, the compounding effect over time leads to astounding transformation.

This might feel underwhelming at first. But this is where understanding the mindset of a self-aware leader helps immensely. Instead of focusing on distant, daunting targets, the 1% Rule offers a path of sustainable and attainable progress.

The 1% Code for Self-Aware Leaders

Baker outlines five key principles to make the 1% Rule work for you:

1. Fall in love with the process: Self-aware leaders understand that it's not about the final destination, but about embracing the journey of constant growth and development. Find joy in the everyday tasks that contribute to your long-term vision.

2. Do it every single day: Consistency is key. Even small actions, done daily, become powerful. Carve out time for reflection, learning, and intentional efforts to improve, no matter how busy you get.

3. Celebrate your commitment: Self-aware leaders are kind to themselves. Recognize your effort, and use those small wins as fuel to sustain your momentum.

4. Track your metrics and data: Knowing where you stand helps you adapt your approach. What are the key metrics indicating your leadership progress? Find ways to track them to chart your growth.

5. Master your craft: The relentless pursuit of excellence is a self-aware leader's hallmark. Dedicate yourself to continual learning, refining your knowledge and skills within your leadership domain.

Why it matters for Leadership

The 1% Rule approach cultivates:

• Resilience:Small, daily wins build confidence in your ability to navigate even major challenges.
• Sustainable growth:Instead of burnout from chasing grand goals, you build long-lasting progress.
• Focus:The clarity of daily action keeps you from feeling overwhelmed by the big picture.
• Adaptability: Being a self-aware leader means continually evolving. The 1% Rule naturally keeps you in a mindset of ongoing learning.

Where in your leadership could you apply the 1% Rule right now? Maybe it's dedicating 15 minutes a day to reading relevant material, or taking time to better understand a team member's perspective.

Share your thoughts below! How might this micro-improvement approach transform your leadership journey?

Further Exploration: For more on this concept, check out Tommy Baker's book "The 1% Rule: How to Fall in Love With The Process and Achieve Your Wildest Dreams"

It's no secret that leadership can be brutally demoralizing. Even the most passionate leaders experience those days when motivation wanes and it feels like the whole world is pushing back. But as Carey Nieuwhof rightly points out, succumbing to that discouragement is a surefire recipe for disaster. So, how do we navigate these tough seasons with resilience and emerge stronger on the other side?

The Root of Discouragement

Often, what brings us down isn't the challenge itself, but losing sight of our 'why'. We become entangled in the frustrating details— endless disagreements over the 'how', the feeling of carrying all the weight alone, or even emotional reactivity in the heat of the moment. That's when it's critical to step back.

6 Strategies from a Leader Who's Been There

Carey Nieuwhof offers invaluable strategies for combating leadership discouragement, and I've found them to resonate deeply with my own experience as a self-aware leader:

1. Rediscover Your 'Why': Realigning with your core purpose, the reason you stepped into leadership, can be like a jolt of adrenaline in a slump. Tap into your mission, your vision, and remember that your work matters.

2. Embrace Emotional Intelligence: On your worst days, channel your inner emotionally intelligent leader. Recognize your emotions, but don't let them sabotage your impact. Cultivate self-regulation to ensure your team doesn't suffer along with you.

3. Celebrate Small Wins: Not every victory will be a headline-grabbing change. Find small, achievable tasks to give you that immediate sense of accomplishment. It fuels your spirit for those long-term, complex goals.

4. Reach Out to Your Inner Circle: Don't underestimate the power of connection! Having a trusted confidant – someone who understands but isn't part of your daily work – can provide invaluable perspective and keep loneliness at bay.

5. The Power of Rest: Exhaustion breeds discouragement. Prioritize sleep – a full night or a strategic nap – to recharge your optimism and decision-making abilities.

6. Don't Give Up at the Brink: It might feel tempting to walk away just when things are the darkest. But remember, breakthroughs often happen just beyond that point. Weather the storm, trust your resilience, and don't be afraid to seek out support when you need it.

Self-Awareness is Your Superpower

Cultivating awareness of your triggers, your emotional responses, and your core motivations is essential to prevent discouragement from taking over. A self-aware leader can recognize these moments and apply the best strategies to reset and re-energize.

Share Your Victories

Have you overcome discouragement in your own leadership? What tools and practices have been vital for you? Let's remind each other that we're not alone in this journey!

Inspiration: For more wisdom on this topic, head to Carey Nieuwhof's original post: https://careynieuwhof.com/7-ways-to-beat-discouragement-in-leadership/

Forging Your Authentic Leadership Path: Insights for a Richer, Honest Life

We're constantly bombarded with self-help advice and supposed blueprints for success. But the truth is, authentic leadership (and a truly fulfilling life) demands a deeply personal approach. It's about self-discovery, embracing the uncomfortable, and choosing your own way forward. Let's unpack some thought-provoking truths that illuminate this path:

1. "Build your own rules." There is no one-size-fits-all answer to being a great leader. True power comes from uncovering your own values, strengths, and motivations, then forging a path that aligns with them. Don't let external pressures define your leadership journey.

2. "Sometimes, you need to go where you least wanna go..." Growth is often uncomfortable. Self-aware leaders embrace the shadows— they don't shy away from difficult feedback, their own vulnerabilities, or challenging situations. It's through this exploration that blind spots transform into insight.

3. "You’re not what happens to you but what you choose to become." Resilience is the cornerstone of effective leadership. External events may be out of your control, but your agency lies in how you respond. Ask yourself: "Am I allowing adversity to harden me, or can I transform challenges into catalysts for growth?"

4. "Stop talking, start doing." Self-aware leaders are defined by action. Grand visions are good, but it's in consistent, focused execution that true results unfold. Remember, your impact on the world is measured not by your intentions, but by your deeds.

5. "Looking at the outside won’t ever lead to a satisfying life..." It's tempting to compare ourselves to others, seeking external validation. Self-aware leaders are rooted in introspection—they prioritize understanding their own desires and motivations. When you know your intrinsic "why", outside pressures fade.

6. "Knowing your own darkness will help you to deal with the darkness of others..." Self-awareness isn't just about knowing your strengths. Embracing your flaws cultivates compassion, empathy, and the ability to understand the complexities in others. This is where truly impactful leadership arises.

7. "You don’t need to solve every problem..." Leadership can be exhausting. A self-aware leader understands there are times to act and times to step back. Recognize that some challenges resolve themselves with time, or offer opportunities for others on your team to shine.

8. "If someone irritates you, it might be because of your own flaws..." We are all mirrors to each other. When someone triggers a visceral reaction, it can be a powerful signal to check in with yourself. What is this person revealing about an area within you that needs attention?

The Call to Authenticity

Being a self-aware leader isn't about perfection, it's about evolving. Embrace constant inquiry, embrace discomfort, and embrace the fact that there are no final answers. Your leadership journey is a constant act of becoming the most authentic version of yourself.

Share Your Thoughts!

Which of these insights resonates most strongly with you? How do you approach leading from an authentic and self-aware place? Let's continue the conversation in the comments!

This podcast was inspired by: https://original.newsbreak.com/@visual-freedom-561169/2138088177305-8-quotes-by-carl-jung-that-could-change-the-way-you-think-and-live

Are lingering resentments in your relationships or workplace interactions leaving you frustrated and disconnected? Do unresolved conflicts keep you in an emotional tailspin? It might be time to consider a culprit frequently overlooked: projection.

What is Projection, and Why Does It Matter?

Projection is a sneaky psychological defense mechanism where we unconsciously attribute our own unresolved issues (often stemming from past hurts) onto someone else. It's easy to believe that our current partner, colleague, or employee is the sole source of our pain. But that conviction is where the deception of projection lies.

Telltale Signs of Projection

• Righteous Indignation:Feeling absolutely sure you're right and the other person is completely to blame for the problem.
• Feeling Deeply Wounded:Minor disagreements trigger disproportionate sadness or hurt, indicating something deeper might be at play.
• Life or Death Intensity:Overwhelming anxiety or a frantic need to resolve issues NOW can signal past trauma being re-triggered.

The Damaging Impact on Love and Leadership

Sadly, projection short-circuits genuine connection. When we refuse to examine our own contributions to a situation, we end up trapped in entanglements – relationships that lack genuine harmony and become breeding grounds for resentment. This energy drain is equally damaging in leadership contexts, creating a culture of blame instead of growth.

Breaking Free

The good news is that recognizing projection is the first step towards greater self-awareness, healthier relationships, and more effective leadership. It's about understanding how past experiences might be shaping your responses to present challenges.

Questions for Reflection

• After a disagreement with your partner or employee, do you quickly rebound or maintain distance?
• Do you have an underlying belief that it's not good to "give in" quickly?
• Do you sense, in those moments, you might be subconsciously trying to "punish" the other person?

Please note: This is NOT about excusing abusive behavior, but understanding your own triggers, so you can respond from a place of empowerment, not reactivity.

Inspiration and Further Learning

The work of Katie and Gay Hendricks provides a fantastic framework for understanding and working through projection in relationships. You can find their resources at https://www.heartsintrueharmony.com/catalog/ebook.html

The Path to Greater Connection

Becoming a truly self-aware leader requires courageous introspection. Recognizing projection releases us to create more fulfilling, authentic relationships and lead with clarity and compassion.

Share Your Insights!

Have you experienced the effects of projection in your personal or professional life? What strategies have helped you navigate these situations? Let's learn together in the comments below!

If you're passionate about self-development and maximizing your potential as a leader, I want to introduce you to a concept that can change everything – the Zone of Genius. Popularized by the brilliant author Gay Hendricks, the Zone of Genius is a place where your deepest passions and your inherent abilities collide. Let's delve into a few questions he poses that will help you discover yours:

• What lights your fire? Think about the tasks you love so much you LOSE yourself in them, time dissolving as you work.

• Work, or effortless play? What makes you feel energized, where the concept of "work" fades away?

• Efficiency + Joy = Success: What tasks (even short ones) give you a deep sense of satisfaction and create abundance?

• What's your superpower? We all have unique talents. Tap into the special skill you were born with; harnessing it brings incredible rewards to you and those you lead!

Why Does This Matter?

Understanding your Zone of Genius isn't just about feeling good while you work (although that's important!). Here's why this is a game-changer:

• Unleash your potential: When you're operating in your Zone of Genius, you're naturally productive, innovative, and create work of real value.

• Authentic leadership: When you know what makes you tick, you lead with confidence, and it shows!

• Inspiring teams: Working from your Zone of Genius sets an example: it encourages your team to find their own flow.

Your Invitation to Action

Take some time for reflection! What tasks make you feel like you're in your Zone of Genius? How can understanding this concept better empower you as a leader? Let's inspire each other to tap into our strengths and make a meaningful difference.

Remember, self-awareness is a superpower. And you have the potential to become the exceptional leader you were meant to be.

We all crave change. We want to be better versions of ourselves – wiser, kinder, more successful, healthier. But the journey from where we are to where we want to be is rarely a straight line, and it certainly isn't quick. Real, lasting change isn't some lightning-in-a-bottle magic trick. It's a complex, multifaceted process.

As self-aware leaders, it's crucial that we recognize this truth. We need to relinquish our tight-fisted grasp on perfectionism and acknowledge that the real transformation happens on the messy middle ground, the part filled with learning curves, stumbles, and setbacks.

Change as a Commitment

The commitment to change is a commitment to continuous work. We make a promise to ourselves to never stop learning, growing, and evolving. It means shedding old habits and patterns of behavior that no longer serve us. It's time to say goodbye to those lingering character flaws that keep dragging us down.

The desire to "do it right" can be crippling in the face of change. This perfectionist mindset leaves little room for mistakes, for the experimentation that's critical to the change process. We end up paralyzed at the start, afraid of straying from some imaginary ideal.

The Gift of Messy: Change as a Learning Opportunity

So, we need to flip the script in our minds. Mistakes aren't flaws—they're learning opportunities! If you slip up when trying to ditch an old habit, don't spiral into self-blame. Use it as a chance for reflection:

• What triggered the slip-up?
• How did you feel in that moment?
• Is there something you could do differently next time?

Change should be a constant adventure of discovery. This involves uncovering new, healthier ways of interacting with yourself and the world around you. The goal isn't to flawlessly execute some change formula – it's to continually expand your knowledge of yourself and your behaviors.

Practical Tips for Embracing Change as a Process

1. Be Patient and Kind to Yourself: You didn't get where you are overnight, and you won't change overnight either. Celebrate the small steps forward, no matter how minor they seem.

2. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection: We've all fallen victim to the all-or-nothing approach. But remember, "done" is always better than "perfect." Every little shift matters.

3. Seek Support and Accountability: Find mentors, coaches, or friends who will help you along the way. Accountability creates momentum.

4. Reflect, Reflect, Reflect: Take time to pause, look back on your journey, and appreciate how far you've come. These moments of introspection can become fuel for future change.

It Never Ends, and That's Beautiful

The best part? The process of change never truly ends. There is always room for more growth, more self-awareness, and more opportunities to step even further into our best selves.

Embrace the journey, own those "messy" moments of learning, and watch yourself transform in ways you never could have imagined.

Let me know if you'd like me to expand on this for your podcast, or have any other topics in mind!

Hey there, Self-Aware Leaders – get ready, because I'm coming at you with something serious today. We all need to hit pause on the spectator mentality we've fallen into and rediscover the thrill of being a player in our own lives.

Let's talk about it. How many nights do we spend glued to the TV, binge-watching Netflix or endlessly scrolling social media? It's entertainment, yeah, but while we're watching someone else's incredible journey, what's happening with our own story?

Think about it – we idolize football players, making their victories our own. We feel deeply invested in characters in fictional dramas. We become virtual coaches from the comfort of our armchairs. But all the while, we're living vicariously through the highlights and triumphs of others.

We become so good at watching the game that we forget the joy of playing the game.

That's where things need to change. Each of us is here with a unique set of skills, talents, and passions. Imagine what we're missing out on when we don't give them a chance to shine!

Here's what I mean:

• You are the star player. Sure, it's easier to comment on someone else's plays, but you can take ownership of your life. Decide what YOU want and write YOUR game plan.

• Fear is just a loud opponent. Sometimes the roar of uncertainty makes us afraid to try. Don't let doubt steal your turn with the ball! Start small, learn from mistakes, and adjust your strategy along the way.

• Don't get stuck on the replay. Everyone stumbles. Use setbacks to analyze what went wrong, but don't dwell on the highlight reel of your errors. Move forward to new plays and keep getting better.

• Every day is a new quarter. It doesn't matter how old you are or what the scoreboard looked like yesterday. A fresh start is always there for the taking. Each day is your opportunity to take action, create new possibilities, and become your best self.

Think of all the excitement and the adrenaline, the personal fulfillment we're missing out on when we stick to the sidelines.

Instead of settling for borrowed triumphs, my challenge is this:

1. Recognize the games YOU want to play. Dream big or dream small – just do it honestly! Maybe it's starting a business, traveling the world, writing a book, or being the best parent you can be. Figure out what sets your soul on fire.

2. Put the time in. Those hours spent analyzing other people's moves? Repurpose some of that time toward action. Just doing something small every day brings you closer to making those dreams a reality.

3. Believe in your potential. No one succeeds without taking that first step. You have the ability to shape your own destiny. Let's take that leap of faith.

Ready to get off the bench and join the action? This Self Aware Leader community is a great place to find support, guidance, and resources. But ultimately, the game-winning move is up to you.

I believe with all my heart that we all deserve to step fully into our lives. Be brave, be bold, and let's create a playbook for a life worth celebrating. Remember, you're more than just a spectator.

This has been your Self-Aware Leader podcast and remember, if you’re not playing, you’re definitely not winning. Time to make a change!

Understanding Self-Sabotage in Leadership

In the realm of leadership, the concept of self-sabotage often emerges as a baffling obstacle. Why do leaders, even with clear goals and strong convictions, sometimes act in ways that undermine their success? This phenomenon is not just a matter of professional development but also a deep dive into self-awareness.

The Role of Misperceptions and Fears

At the core, self-sabotage in leadership is frequently a result of misperceptions and fears. Leaders might hold onto limiting beliefs about their capabilities or worthiness, leading them to act in ways that are not aligned with their true potential or objectives.

Misalignment with Higher Purpose

Leadership involves more than just managing tasks or people; it's about aligning with a higher purpose and leading with vision. Self-sabotage is often a sign that a leader is out of sync with this higher calling, swayed by short-term pressures or personal insecurities.

Recognizing Self-Sabotage in Leadership

The key to addressing self-sabotage is early recognition. It can manifest in various forms – hesitation in decision-making, reluctance to delegate, or even overworking. These behaviors might seem minor but can significantly impact leadership effectiveness.

Embracing Mindfulness and Reflection

Mindfulness is crucial in recognizing self-sabotaging patterns. Leaders need to be acutely aware of their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors to identify when they are not acting in alignment with their goals. Regular reflection on actions and decisions can shed light on underlying self-sabotaging tendencies.

Engaging in Continuous Learning

Leaders must be committed to continuous learning and self-improvement. This commitment helps in identifying areas prone to self-sabotage and developing strategies to overcome them.

Strategies to Overcome Self-Sabotage in Leadership

Cultivating Forgiveness and Acceptance

Leaders must learn to forgive themselves for past mistakes, understanding that these are often born out of misaligned perceptions. Accepting that perfection is unattainable and that errors are part of the learning process is essential for growth.

Aligning with Vision and Purpose

Effective leadership is grounded in a clear vision and purpose. By consistently aligning actions and decisions with these, leaders can steer clear of behaviors that constitute self-sabotage.

Fostering Self-Awareness and Growth

Continuous self-awareness is vital for leaders to overcome self-sabotage. Understanding one's strengths, weaknesses, and underlying motivations enables leaders to address the root causes of self-defeating behaviors.

Conclusion

Self-sabotage in leadership is a complex but surmountable challenge. Through mindfulness, self-reflection, and a steadfast commitment to aligning with their vision and purpose, leaders can navigate and overcome these internal barriers. The journey towards effective leadership is intertwined with the path of self-awareness, where each step towards understanding oneself is a step towards becoming a more impactful leader.

In the annals of history, few leaders exemplify self-awareness as profoundly as Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States. His leadership during one of the nation's most tumultuous periods, the Civil War, showcased a remarkable blend of self-awareness, empathy, and resilience. This post delves into the facets of Lincoln's self-aware leadership and the timeless lessons embedded therein.

Self-Reflection: Lincoln's life was a testament to self-reflection and continuous learning. Born into poverty, he was largely self-taught, yet his thirst for knowledge and understanding propelled him to the highest office in the land. His ability to reflect on his experiences, learn from failures, and adapt his strategies was a hallmark of his self-aware leadership.

Emotional Intelligence: Lincoln exhibited a high degree of emotional intelligence, often shouldering the burden of the nation's woes while navigating personal tragedies. His capacity to manage his emotions, understand the emotions of others, and apply this understanding in his leadership decisions was exemplary.

Adaptability: Amidst the Civil War, Lincoln demonstrated remarkable adaptability. His willingness to modify his stance, especially concerning the abolition of slavery, showcased a leader attuned to the evolving needs of his nation and the broader call for human rights.

Humility and Acknowledgment of Mistakes: Lincoln was known for his humility and his readiness to acknowledge mistakes. He assembled a "Team of Rivals" in his cabinet, valuing diverse perspectives even from those who opposed him. This humility, coupled with an ability to learn from errors, underscored his self-aware approach to governance.

Inclusivity and Empathy: Lincoln’s leadership was also marked by inclusivity and a deep-seated empathy for all citizens, regardless of their standing. His pursuit of a more united nation, even in the face of bitter divisiveness, showcased a leader deeply aware of the collective human experience.

Legacy of Self-Aware Leadership: Abraham Lincoln's legacy is one of hope, resilience, and the unyielding pursuit of a more equitable nation. His self-aware leadership not only navigated the United States through its darkest hour but also set a precedent for the transformative potential of self-aware governance.

Conclusion: Abraham Lincoln’s narrative is a compelling exploration of how self-awareness, intertwined with empathy, adaptability, and humility, can engender a leadership capable of navigating through adversities and fostering societal progression. His legacy remains a resounding testament to the enduring power of self-aware leadership in catalyzing positive change.