Business for Self-Employed Creatives

PSA: Imposter Syndrome is running rampant in creative industries and it's not okay. You are not a fraud! If you are struggling with these thoughts, this episode is a reminder that you deserve all the success you've earned for yourself.

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Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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A few weeks ago, our weekly Clubhouse meetup was supposed to be about money management for creatives. It quickly became focused more on making money than what to do with the money we’ve already made. Everyone was interested in how to set rates, be confident in charging what they’re worth, and how to avoid the all-too-common epidemic called “Imposter Syndrome.” It seems to be a rampant issue in creative fields, especially in those who are just starting out in business.

What is imposter syndrome? It’s when you feel like a fraud for charging people for your services. It’s that internal doubt that you aren’t worth as much as you are. It’s tricking yourself into thinking you aren’t as competent as others think you are, even though you are. It’s undermining your talent and crediting luck for your accomplishments instead. It’s a lack of confidence telling you that people are going to find out you don’t actually know what you’re doing and everything you’ve worked for is going to disappear.

Sound familiar? I hope not, but if so, you’re not alone. Imposter syndrome is affecting business owners everywhere. There is so much pressure, often self-inflicted, to be the best. And if you’re not the best in the world, then somehow you don’t deserve success at all. But that’s not true.

I know I’m starting to sound like a PSA, but I don’t like hearing how many talented people are feeling like phonies instead of being proud of doing what they’ve always wanted to do. So, if you’ve ever dealt with those feelings, or are feeling them now, this episode is for you.

I want you to know a few things.

You are not a fraud. Stop thinking that you are. If you were a true fraud, you probably wouldn’t be listening to this podcast, so I’m going to trust that you aren’t ripping people off or claiming you can do things you can’t. I know those people are out there, but you know if that’s you. It’s not, right?

No. You’re charging for your services because they have value. You are making other people’s lives easier in one way or another. You’re doing something they can’t do, don’t have time to do, or don’t want to do. You’re helping them personally, or their brand or company. You’re doing what you do so they can focus on all the other things they need to do. They pay you because they need you. An imposter pretends. You actually do.

You are worth more than your doubts may tell you. Don’t let them win. And by worth, I mean not just your rates, but also your value as a human. You have boundaries in place for a reason, and if someone isn’t respecting them, you can and should end that relationship. There is a respectful way to do it, of course, but any client who acts like they pay you so you should do whatever they want when they want it isn’t a client worth having. Let them go and make room for someone who appreciates what you have to offer and understands the price tag that goes along with your skills.

You absolutely should be doing what you’re doing. If you’re just getting started, that only means that you have plenty of time ahead of you to learn and grow and build your confidence. If you’ve been doing this for a while, you’ve earned your place. Why are you questioning it now? It’s okay to accept success and to be proud of what you’ve accomplished. Don’t let doubt, fear, or other people hold you back from saying, “I deserve this.” Because you do.

The time and energy you’ve invested into your talent is valuable, and it’s your right to stand up for yourself. If there are people who are condescendingly questioning you, or trying to bully you into working for less, they aren’t worth your time. Working with them only takes away your opportunity to work with the right people. Those people won’t question your rates or expertise. They’ll gladly pay you and breathe a sigh of relief that they have you on their team. Anything less is not worth your time. If those demanding and demeaning people are making you question yourself, stop. If anyone is a fraud in that situation, it’s them, not you.

If you’re having trouble believing in yourself sometimes, how about believing your clients? They aren’t stupid. They’re not giving you work or money out of pity. They’ve hired you because they believe you’ll do a good job for them. They will let you know if you’re not living up to their expectations. So If they don’t doubt your abilities, why should you?

Some people feel all of their success is a fluke and is going to disappear at any moment. But that isn’t going to happen to you. You’ve worked hard to build your client base and your reputation as an expert. You will continue to do so. People are going to notice and think, wow. Look at what you’ve accomplished. That’s amazing. Remember that those who don’t, those who might put you down or try to minimize your success, those people aren’t really criticizing you. They’re criticizing themselves. They’re disappointed in themselves for not being brave enough to do their own thing. They’re scared to take the risk and they’re making up reasons to justify it. Don’t fall into that trap. You’re better than that.

I don’t know why people treat themselves so much worse than they’d treat other people. Think about that internal voice that’s making you feel like an imposter. Would you talk to someone else the way it’s talking to you? If your friend came to you and said they were feeling insecure about their business, would you respond with something like, “Well, you clearly don’t know what you’re doing and shouldn’t be getting paid for it?” If you wanted to hire someone for services you need, would you respond with, “Wow. Those rates are stupid and no one should ever pay you that much?” If your family member had been working hard on her business for months and was excited about the momentum she was building, would you shut her down by saying, “Well, you’ve just gotten lucky because most people aren’t going to pay you to do that?” No! You wouldn’t say any of those things to others, so don’t say them to yourself either.

You don’t need validation from anyone but yourself. Be honest. Are you proud of the work you’re doing? Do you find fulfillment in running your business? Do you appreciate the freedom you have since you’ve taken control of your life? Do you acknowledge that you are a successful business owner? Or if you haven’t started yet, do you believe you are good enough to pursue your passion and make money doing it? If you can honestly answer no to any of those questions, take a step back and think about why. What can you do to turn it around? And if you did answer yes, as I’m sure you all did, then ask yourself why do you feel like an imposter?

I don’t know why it happens, but I don’t like it. Part of me wonders if so many people have been programmed to be falsely humble that they don’t know how to accept their accomplishments. It’s not considered good manners to boast or talk about yourself positively, but I think that idea is antiquated. It’s one thing to let your ego run wild and think you’re the greatest human to ever exist. It’s another to claim that you are better than anyone else. But it’s completely different to acknowledge that you are doing good work and have created something special. I think it’s important for us to allow ourselves to be proud.

We are not imposters. We are self-employed creatives, we love what we do, and we deserve every bit of success we earn for ourselves.

When it feels like everything is falling apart, some perspective, acceptance, and understanding might help you make the best of a bad situation. I took my own advice this week and it helped me keep my sanity amidst some chaos.

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Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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Well, this isn’t the episode I planned on releasing this week. But, a lot of things happened over the last several days that I didn’t plan on either. I won’t bore you with all of the convoluted details, but essentially the plumbing in my house went haywire and now my kitchen island and master shower are out of commission. I’ve been dealing with these massively noisy dehumidifiers that make it impossible to sleep, let alone record, so I’ve had to move into my own guest room, use my guest shower, and the cats are pretty annoyed that all of their stuff has been moved.

Now I’m talking to plumbers and water mitigation experts and insurance adjustors, trying to learn all the lingo and make sure I’m doing what I need to. There have been so many people in and out of my house to assess things, estimate things, try to fix things just to find out they can’t and someone else has to try something different. I’ve seen these various repair guys more in the last week than I’ve seen any of my friends in over a year. It’s kind of ridiculous. I think my house is trying to tell me I’ve been in it too long and need to leave a little more often.

But no, this episode isn’t about wonky house woes, it’s about dealing with unexpected situations without losing your mind. I know I talk about certain concepts quite a bit. Staying positive, going with the flow, believing that everything happens the way it’s meant to. It’s one thing to talk about it, but it’s another to actually put it into practice. So I want to share how I’ve applied my own advice in this situation, along with some observations about perspective and control.

There are so many times when it feels like the world is conspiring against you. Your clients all need you at the same time. You finish one thing and two more come up in its place. Everything is an emergency. The days are flying by and you don’t even know how long it’s been since you last got up from your chair. Add in the extra demands of your personal life, your family, and all those little things you need to tend to, and this is the typical life of a self-employed creative.

It’s easy to focus on the stress of it all. What is going wrong. How overwhelmed you’re feeling. It’s all real. There are days you want to scream, or cry, or where you just laugh because that’s all you can really do. But, that doesn’t help anyone, especially yourself. Getting frustrated doesn’t help you do your work faster. It probably slows you down. Getting mad doesn’t fix the problems. It just makes you feel worse. Thinking about how unfair it is doesn’t change what’s happening. So while I do think it’s important to feel your feelings and acknowledge them, I also think it’s necessary to reprogram the negative ones.

That’s where perspective can be helpful. I’m not happy about sleeping in my guest room. I love my tempurpedic bed and I typically don’t sleep well anywhere else. But, I am grateful that I have an extra bed in my home so I didn’t have to sleep on a couch or somewhere else. I also feel weird using my guest shower, but I am thankful I have an extra shower so I don’t have to hose myself off outside, which could be pretty awkward and not very effective. It’s nearly impossible to function the way I normally do without my kitchen island and sink. But, I’m fortunate enough to be able to swork around it, even if it’s not ideal. It’s difficult to get my work done with all of these people coming in and out all day, but how lucky am I to be able to be home while this work gets done? I really don’t know how people who have job jobs do it. I haven’t been able to go anywhere or schedule anything because I’m usually waiting for someone who could show up at any time, or who give me a 4-hour window for when they might get here. I can’t imagine how I would do all of this if I was still at my old job 30 minutes away.

Thinking about how good I have it, even in the bad times, gives me that perspective to understand that it might feel like a lot at once, but it could be worse. Instead of focusing on all of the inconveniences, I choose to appreciate all that is going right.

And when it comes to what isn’t going right, I have to remember that it’s completely out of my control. Now, I like to be in control. I don’t think that’s a surprise to anyone. I wouldn’t call myself a control freak, because it’s not a necessity for me to be in charge. It just happens to be something I’m good at and often have to do in my work. But, oddly, understanding that I can’t control everything is part of how I’m able to solve problems. I’ve known a lot of people who can’t let go. When something goes wrong, they keep trying to fix it, where fix means make it exactly the way they wanted it. They aren’t able to step outside of the box and find a new solution. But as the Rolling Stones song goes, you can’t always get what you want.

Everything that’s happened recently is 100% out of my control. I didn’t cause the leaks in my plumbing. And I couldn’t pretend they didn’t exist, because that would’ve created bigger issues in the future. I can’t do anything to speed up the process with regards to how long it takes for these different companies to get the work done. And I can’t stop doing my work just because I have other things to tend to, at least not without detrimental repercussions that I’d rather avoid. I can’t control any of it. I can only adapt and figure out ways to do what I need to do in the midst of the chaos. It might not be ideal, but I will get things done.

I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason. I know that often sound cliché. It’s one of those somewhat empty sayings people use when they’re trying to make people feel better, even though it usually doesn’t help. But I really do believe it. Everything happens the way it’s supposed to, when it’s supposed to. I accept that and do my best to embrace it. This whole kerfuffle started with a tiny drip in my faucet. I figured that should be an easy enough thing to fix. I’m usually pretty handy, so I watched some YouTube videos and figured I’d try it since it was a weekend and getting a plumber would take a while. I needed to take off the handle to find out which part I needed to get. I learned that the valves under my sink that are supposed to turn the water off, did not work. Long story short, I got an unexpected cold shower and flooded my bathroom. I did fix the drip, for what it’s worth, but I could only get the handle on backwards so I decided to just live with that until I could get a professional out.

But, while cleaning up the flood, I noticed some warping in the door frame by my shower that indicated it was water damaged, unrelated to that incident. My dishwasher had also started leaking whenever I ran it, so it seemed like the perfect time to utilize my home warranty and get someone to look at everything. I didn’t expect any of it to be such an ordeal, but I’m really glad I got them here when I did. Had I not noticed, or not called anyone, it could’ve gotten worse and caused more damage, or something worse like mold. So, not ideal, but probably a good thing it happened.

The major issues also happened when I had a few slower days of work. I had plenty I wanted to do with that time, but if it was in the midst of what I have coming up over the next few weeks, it would’ve been a disaster. The next couple of months are jam packed with projects. The repairs will hopefully get started soon and will still be a distraction and most likely an annoyance, but it shouldn’t require as much input from me, so it’ll be fine. If this happened a couple weeks from now, I might have had to let some people down and that wouldn’t be okay with me. Timing is everything.

And just like the timing of all the bad stuff worked out, so does the timing for some good. In the midst of all of this, Taylor, my future primary caregiver, graduated from high school and invited me to the celebration at their house in Boulder City, which is about 45 minutes away from me. It was on a Thursday afternoon. Normally that wouldn’t have been an issue, but I had 3 different appointment windows with people coming to the house and a Zoom meeting with a client. I really didn’t think there would be any way I could get there and that was disappointing because I’ve known that kid since he was born and it was important to me to be there. And not just because I’ve been bribing him his whole life so he’ll take care of me when I get old, but because his dad has been one of my best friends for 20 something years and certain moments are worth the effort.

By some miracle, everyone that day showed up in the early part of the window, finished quickly, and I was able to get there and spend a few hours away from work, away from house drama, to laugh with good friends. Like I said, timing is everything.

So, yeah. It’s been a challenging couple of weeks. My whole routine has been disrupted, I’m tired, and I have a lot to do. I’m feeling the pressure of everything that needs to be done with work, to get my house back in order, and to just maintain my sanity. But, my advice has helped me, as weird as that sounds. I keep grounded with perspective. It might be bad, but it could be worse. In the grand scheme of things, I’m still pretty lucky. I accept what I can’t control and adapt instead. Things still need to get done, and I can’t do them the way I’m accustomed to, so I have to figure out new ways. Maybe I’ll learn something in the process. And I remind myself that everything happens for a reason, and

John Masse is the perfect example of a self-employed creative. He’s had a lucrative career as an illustrator, animator, creative director, scenic designer, and more. His creations have been seen all over the world, and while he loves what he does, he also prioritizes his family.

In this episode, we discuss what it takes to run a creative business - managing your time and money, avoiding procrastination, knowing when to call it a day, and more. He can trace every step of his career back to his first job designing t-shirts in a shop in Vegas. That experience started the path that eventually led to working with Sting in Belgium and meeting George Lucas to develop a Star Wars apparel line for Skechers.

John explains his "Seagulls and Sandwiches" concept and the abundance mindset - there is plenty of work out there if you find your empty spot on the sand. He also talks about the importance of selling who you are before what you do, relying on your network, and knowing how much you need to make each month so you can successfully steer your own ship.

Connect with John @massecreative

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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00:38 I had enough of an education and an experience in things I was interested in, to figure out rather quickly that I could make a living from the things that I was good at.

01:52 My career can be traced sort of in a linear progression. So one job, or one account, or one relationship, always begets the next thing. 

02:52 I like the idea that when you're your own boss, and when you're a hyphenate, every day is different. Every day is unique.

05:23 I love being a dad. So I want to capture those little teeny moments, and I also can compartmentalize my life. And that's the biggest trick for being a self-employed creative is that you have to know your hours. You have to know your time. There has to be a familial understanding. And I know, for sure, from years of experience, you work way more than 40 hours when you work for yourself. So you have to be able to call it a day. And that is a discipline, especially if you are geared towards steering your own ship for the rest of your life. 

09:44 I don't panic on the slow days. I know my nut. And that's just slang for knowing what the house costs, what the Target bill is going to be, what all these pay subscriptions are going to run up, what my health insurance costs. I know what I need to make every month, and everybody should know that. You should always, always know that. And that's your baseline. From there, I can handle my billing, I can handle my goals, my wants, my needs, my desires. I know how to sell myself. I know how to keep the ship running.

The creativity comes so freely to so many of us that we suffer from imposter syndrome, that we're like, I shouldn't be getting paid for this. It doesn't cost me anything to draw. I can draw anything in a second. I can think up of a name and a story. I could write a book. Why would I get paid for that? Is that worth anything to anybody? And they're having these existential crises in their own head and I'm like, think about business. Business first. What are you doing? Pay attention to those things.

13:14 I think it's important to be liked before you can sell anybody anything. There is that balance of being liked before you can bill for it, but know when to bill for it. 

16:11 This is a necessary thing that we do, and therefore we have created purpose and meaning to our lives in doing something creative, and being entrepreneurs, and being our own bosses. So there's a joy in it. I always go with an open mind because I'm going to learn something with every business account that I have, or every little venture that I have. And then that's fun. And I always finish off with “I can't wait for the next one!"

20:37 There are better artists. There are funnier people. There are taller people. There are younger people. There are people that are all charisma. There are people that are just perfectionists at what they do. But you have to carve out that little piece of your talent, and your skill, and whatever you bring to the creative world. 

25:36 All the funny things that I did, all the experimental things that I did, all the goofy things have worked their way into this creative life of mine collectively, but it's because I picked one thing that I was very good at.

27:18 Seagulls and sandwiches goes with that concept of abundance, which is there's so much work out there. We're always like, you know, fighting for a job, or panicking, or nervous for a job. And it's like, no, no, the work is there. You've got to find the spot on the beach where there are no seagulls because the sandwiches are there. Some of them are under the sand. Some of them are everywhere, but you're going to find the place. And the trick is to look for a void. Look for a specialty. Look for something that you do that no one else does. 

28:53 When you're in that creative world, you want to find that specialty. Start there. Start with that one thing that you're better at than anyone else is that gives you the most passion and that is your starting spot. That's your place in the beach where you can sit down, relax, and have a sandwich and no one's competing with you. I call it a void. 

I created Muffalo Potato because I remember how amazing Mr. Rogers was when I was a kid. And I remember Captain Kangaroo. And I remember step-by-step drawing shows that I saw as a little, little kid, which I thought were fascinating. And I didn't see that anywhere in the market. I didn't see it anywhere in the world. And I was like, you know, since Mr. Rogers passed, there's no one else that's sort of taken his mantle as, you know, talking to kids. And I can't teach morality because I'm an amoral person at best, but I can teach kids how to draw, you know? And tell them that, look, it doesn't have to be perfect. It just needs to be fun. And I looked and I realized there's a void. There's a little spot in the YouTuber/influencer/social media world where nobody is teaching kids how to draw, and certainly not in the kind of weird way that I could figure it out. And that's been a wild success. 

36:55 Know your strengths and know how much time you could dedicate to your curiosity. And because creative fields tend to serve as adjuncts to other creative fields... for example, I started in apparel design, which involves drawing, which involves copy and typeface. So it was very easy for me to get into advertising from there. Because I was good at drawing, I could get into storyboards. Because I was good at setting up storyboards, I could get into scenic, right? So now I've got scenic and design, then that gets theatrical. But I'm also drawing, and so I can get cartoony, so I can create characters, right? But because I am a character, I could come up with an imaginative story of how that character came to be. And now I'm a writer. So the flow-through almost occurs, it almost incurs invisibly. It's in the background. 

The only thing, the only requirement, is that you have to succeed. There's no “I'm not going to try it.” Just do it. You can't fail at anything. Don't approach it like you're going to fail.

It's about completion. It's about finishing what you start. There's no room for procrastination in this world, especially because you do want bigger projects, you know? It's nice to have a day rate. It's nice to have four days’ worth of work. It's nice to have two days’ worth of work. It's really good to permalance, or to be, you know, as soon as this project is finished, they call you right for the next one. And that's where you build that security, and that experience, and you really get some momentum behind you.

47:37 Star Wars is what changed my life when I was seven years old. The movie came out, and I saw it, and it flipped me out. And I was upset over the years that, oh, they were making the prequels and now they're making the sequels. And I thought at this point, I would have been one of those storyboard artists that would have sat on George Lucas's lap and drawn. “Is it good, daddy? Is that?” You know, I thought that was gonna happen. But lo and behold, Skechers got the Star Wars account. And the entire company said, “Alright, John. You're heading to Lucasfilm in San Francisco, and you're going to talk to him about the new movie, 'The Force Awakens,' and you're going to build the apparel line.” And there it was. It was that arc that happened. 

There is the starting point. There is the through line, the mistakes, everything that's happened. The connection is there. I have zero regrets. If I did one thing differently, at a split second, just a different flap of the butterfly's wings, I'd have a completely different life than I have right now.

52:09 It goes back to who you are, because people like to work with you first, and then what you do second, right? And they're like, “Well, you sold me on the idea. Let's give it a shot.” The most amazing thing that you're going to do is the next thing. Always remember that. That's the way I feel, you know? What's the best thing you ever did, John? The next thing. The next thing is the best thing I ever did. But really, it's the kids. It's the two kids.

53:46 You've got to sell yourself first. Remember that. Not what you do, but who you are. You've got to lean on your clan. You have to know your nut. You have to know what you need to make. If you build it, and you break it, you can rebuild it again. So don't be afraid of stuff blowing up in your face, because you got there in the first place. Every little success is proof of concept. So take that, add value to everything you do, and earn a life away from your work. That's all you ne

One of the most important skills for business owners is adaptability. If you are a person who gets frustrated when things change – whether a schedule shifts, an idea evolves, or a plan takes a different direction – you don’t have any business being in business.

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl and join the Self-Employed Creatives club on Clubhouse every Wednesday at 4pm Pacific time.

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I recently encountered a situation that made me shake my head. All I kept thinking is this… if you get frustrated when a plan changes, you probably shouldn’t be in business. So let’s talk about that.

In this scenario, I was talking to a talent agent who represented an actor who was hired for a job. The actor had agreed to all the details, including the dates of the wardrobe fittings and the shoot itself. Then that actor booked another job and was no longer able to attend the fitting that was scheduled. The agent asked if it could be done via Zoom, which wasn’t possible. Zoom has made some things easy, but it has not given people the ability to try on clothing that is in a different location. So the solution was for the actor to drive to another city where fittings were happening. Production wouldn’t cover that cost, because the talent wasn’t honoring a commitment that was already made, but it allowed the actor to do both.

If you’re not familiar with how wardrobe works for production, there is actually a lot of thought that goes into what on camera talent wears. There are many people involved in the decision and it’s all based on what achieves certain stylistic goals. Actors usually bring some of their own clothing options from home, based on specific directions in terms of colors, sleeve lengths, type of attire, and all that fun stuff. There is also a wardrobe department that buys clothing based on the same direction. This way, there are several options for each person’s look, which the director or someone else in charge signs off on for the final product. Sometimes it’s what the stylist bought, sometimes it’s what an actor already owned, and sometimes it’s a combination of both.  

In this case, the actor did not follow instructions and brought clothing that wouldn’t work for any shoot because it all had logos for brands that were not licensed. Production wardrobe 101 – graphics and logos are bad unless they’re of the brand you’re promoting or otherwise preauthorized. That actor understood and offered to go shopping before the next fitting. Ultimately, the final look that was chosen included the pieces the actor had purchased.

So back to that conversation with the talent agent. I got an earful about how it was messed up that the actor had to drive to another city, pay for the travel, and go to two fittings in person just to end up wearing something that could’ve been purchased locally. The agent brought up the fact that Zoom was requested and there was “no reason” any of this had to be done in person. No acknowledgment of the fact that all of it was supposed to be done locally but the actor booked something else and missed the original time and location that was scheduled to do it. Just frustration bordering on anger that things didn’t work out as intended.

That’s the part that got me. No one knows ahead of time what the final outcome of anything is going to be. Nothing is certain, certainly not in production. It’s constantly changing from the moment prep begins until the final product is delivered. Art and creativity are subjective. They’re fluid. We often have to adapt and change direction along the way. It’s why it’s called a creative process.

A script can be written in a way the author thinks is perfect, but then an actor delivers a line with slightly different wording and it changes everything. If it makes the show better, the writer shouldn’t throw a temper tantrum because their exact wording wasn’t used. It’s a team effort.

If an editor chooses a piece of music for the cut she’s working on, but then a music supervisor gets licensing for another song that conveys the intended mood better, they’re going to change it.

In this case, the creative director wanted to see multiple options on each actor, and his favorite one ended up being one that the actor found. There was no way to know ahead of time how that was going to play out, so hearing someone so worked up over it, really struck me. I started to explain the intention and how this works and had to stop myself because this person didn’t want to hear logic. For whatever reason, the agent just wanted to complain. Somehow, it had gotten twisted that this actor’s time had been wasted, not factoring in that the actor was the one who messed up the original plan. In addition, the actor was getting paid very well for all of the time spent in these fittings and on set. What it came down to was simply frustration over change. And I really believe that if you are a person who gets frustrated when things change – whether a schedule shifts, an idea evolves, or a plan takes a different direction – you don’t have any business being in business.

Like with so many things, it all goes back to mindset. You can choose to get frustrated, or you can choose to go with the flow. You can choose to feel like you wasted your time because plans changed, or you choose to be grateful to have been hired. Especially when you’re getting paid for your time. That’s what I’m talking about here, when something changes within the scope of what you’re already getting paid to do. That actor doesn’t get paid based on what wardrobe is used. The actor gets paid for the time for each fitting and actually working on set. Nothing that happened took away any of that.

I’ve worked with voice actors who have recorded a script for which they were paid. Then the client changed the script and the voice actor had to record it again. He got paid for it again, but for some reason he got really upset that he had to do it the second time. I never did understand why. The change had nothing to do with him. It just happens sometimes.

If I think about how many times I’ve spent hours, sometimes even days, doing part of my job just to have the whole thing change and go in a completely different direction… if I let that bother me, I’d never survive in this industry. Or my head would explode. It’s not that I don’t understand why it’s frustrating. I’ve been there, too. Times I’ve put a lot of effort into something and then it turns out it wasn’t needed. That doesn’t feel great, but I always have to go back to the logic. I was paid for my time to do that. My client didn’t change direction because of something I did, or didn’t do. It’s just the nature of a project. So I could get mad about it and complain about all the time I wasted, or I can accept it and laugh about it. It’s another story about this crazy, unpredictable world where I get to make money doing silly things like finding lucha libre costumes, researching film-friendly cabins, or going behind the scenes at the soundcheck for a band’s residency show.

Why should I care if I have to stop doing one thing and start doing something else? Why should you? It’s one thing if a client starts piling on more responsibilities than you agreed to, or they completely change the scope of the job. That’s a different conversation. But, if the change means you just have to do more of the work you’ve already agreed to do, don’t worry about it.

We, as humans, have a tendency to make up problems in our heads. We give too much weight to situations that aren’t worthy of our brain space. We sometimes forget how much power we have to choose our reactions and how we feel. If you already spent time on something, and then it turns out not to be needed, that time is already gone. You can’t get it back. Getting frustrated about it isn’t going to change that. It’s not going to help anything. All you can do is move forward with the new plan, which might change again.

It doesn’t mean you have to love change. I surely have moments where I would very much prefer for things to stay the same. But it’s not always in my control. What is in my control is how I respond.

One of the most important skills for business owners is adaptability. There’s a reason it’s come up in almost every interview I’ve done in the last year. We have to be able to navigate changes or we’re not going to succeed. There’s a reason so many people use the phrase “the only constant is change.” There’s no escaping it. Change is inevitable and it’s what keeps life interesting, right? As self-employed creatives, change can give us opportunities. It’s all a matter of how we decide to interpret the situation. We don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, but, to quote Beck, “Things are going to change. I can feel it.”

Using your down time to your advantage is what I like to call anticrastination. It's the opposite of putting things off. It’s taking advantage of the time you have right now to do things you might not have time for later. 

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

The Self-Employed Creatives club meets Wednesdays at 4pm Pacific time on Clubhouse.

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We are all familiar with procrastination. I was a pro procrastinator in school. I actually found that I couldn’t write a paper if I had too much time to do it. I couldn’t get in the head space and I’d distract myself in any way possible to avoid it. But, if it was the night before it was due, I could crank it out quickly. I guess I’ve always been one who works well under pressure.

It makes sense that we put off doing things we don’t want to do. Because we don’t want to do them. We’ll find anything else to do to avoid things like admin work and bookkeeping. Or around the house, it’s things like cleaning or fixing that broken chair. We’d rather spend our time doing the things we enjoy. That’s pretty much common sense.

I don’t think procrastination is always a conscious choice, though. Sometimes we don’t actively think, I’m going to put this off. Instead, we do other things and never quite get around to it. I may have been without working hot water in one of my bathroom sinks for almost 2 years. I wasn’t intentionally not getting it fixed. I just didn’t make the call because I didn’t think about it in the right moment. It sounds ridiculous, I know. And I’d love to say that I ultimately realized that and called a plumber, but I did not. My friend sometimes lets me borrow her husband for handy work, and she sent him over one day to fix it for me. It was such a simple thing and I laughed at myself for letting it go that long. It just hadn’t been important to me because the cold water still worked and there was another sink next to it that worked fine.

But sometimes we have to put off doing things we actually want to do because we have other priorities. Time gets away from us and there is only so much we can do. So when we don’t have time to do everything, something has to give. For most of us, that usually means our personal projects get put on the backburner while we’re tending to paying clients. Other times it means letting things pile up because they don’t make an immediate impact. You know you need to scan those receipts so you can add them into your accounting software, but you’re not going to miss out on a new job because you haven’t done that yet.

I recently found myself in a place where I’m sure you’ve been before. I overcommitted. I was already juggling multiple projects when a new opportunity came my way. I had turned down a couple of other jobs during the same time, but this one was more appealing. It was for a major brand, there was a celebrity involved, and it was a new client looking to build a team in Vegas, where he will be relocating soon. I knew some other people on the job and like working with them, and I got a really good vibe from the client. I was up front about my prior commitments, and we worked out a schedule that made sense for both of us.

I knew it would be a busy couple of weeks, but I knew I could handle all of it. I would never sign up for a job if I thought I couldn’t deliver, so I want to be clear about that. My definition of overcommitting doesn’t mean I’ve agreed to 30 hours a day and am going to have to sacrifice sleep to get it all done. To me, it means that work might infringe upon my typical boundaries in terms of my normal hours, but within reason. Because I do prioritize my down time, I wouldn’t have said yes if the new project was going to push too much into the evenings or weekend. Based on the information I had, it was all manageable.

Of course, by some twisted fate it seems the universe, which is normally on my side, conspired against me. Every one of those projects became chaotic and took up way more time than intended. They were billable hours, so that wasn’t an issue, but it made it impossible to do the other things I had wanted to do during that time. It all worked out, as it always does, but by the end of last week I was just laughing about the whole thing. That’ll teach me to say yes to a job when I know I don’t really have the time. I say that now, but despite the craziness, I’m still glad I took on that project. I would make the same choice again.

During that time, I did have moments of feeling the pressure. It felt like every time I got one thing done, there were 4 more in its place to do. I really had to rely on my prioritization skills to make sure everyone had what they needed from me in a timely manner. I made sure to meet all of my client obligations, but I didn’t end up with any time to work on my personal projects like this podcast. And I like working on this podcast.

We had a discussion about time management during one of our weekly Clubhouse chats and I mentioned what was going on. I said that the reason I wasn’t freaking out about it is because I always work ahead when I can. That’s what I’m calling anticrastination. When I have some free time, I use it to do the things I know I might not have time for later. That’s not to say I don’t take advantage of some quiet time when I get it, because it is pretty rare sometimes and I think it’s important to take a day or two to not be productive when the opportunity arises. But, when I do get a break, I have to consider the best ways to use it.

When the Vegas season of Intervention ended, I suddenly had a lot of extra time that I hadn’t had for 7 months. I enjoyed have time to just breathe and take it easy. But, then I also started thinking about all the things I hadn’t been able to do during that time. My top priority in my personal projects is this podcast. I did not like the feeling of scrambling to get an episode done in time. I’ve never missed a publishing date, but there were a few close calls. So I thought about which parts of the podcast take the most time, and those are obviously the longer interview episodes. So I started scheduling interviews. I think I recorded 5 in about a week. As of now, I haven’t even edited all of those episodes, which means my plan worked. Because during those crazy weeks, there’s no way I would’ve had time to fully produce a new interview episode. But because I recorded in advance, I never missed a deadline.

I didn’t know how long that break would be, so I didn’t want to waste it. I’m really glad I recorded those interviews. As it turned out, the break would only be 3 weeks and then I started working on another show. 9 weeks passed by before I had an opportunity to record another interview. If I hadn’t worked ahead, I wouldn’t have been able to keep consistent releases, and I would’ve let myself down. Anticrastination for the win.

So how do you effectively anticrastinate? And by the way, I don’t think anticrastination is a word. The angry red squiggles in my Word document tell me it’s not. But I don’t care. You’ve probably learned that I make up words sometimes, and I’m okay with that.

First, figure out what you can do early. Then, do it now. That’s it.

No one can predict the future, and most of us never really know when jobs are going to come up, which makes it difficult to prepare. The best thing you can do is think about the things you know will have to get done, and then determine which of those can be done in advance. Things like social media posts – you can create the graphics and write the captions and then either schedule the posts using an app, or at least get everything ready so all you have to do on the day is post. If you’re a writer, think of some evergreen pieces you can write early so you’ll have them available if you’re in a bind and don’t have time to write something new one week. If you’ve been wanting to take a class or work with a coach, schedule it as soon as possible and get started while you have the time.

Anticrastination is the opposite of putting things off. It’s doing them now. It’s taking advantage of the time you have right now to do things you might not have time for later. Instead of knowing you have things to do but you don’t want to do them, it’s knowing you’re going to have to do these things later anyway, so you might as well do them now when you’re not feeling pressured. Save yourself the stress and work ahead when you can. You’ll thank yourself later.

Song Lopez had a successful career as a celebrity makeup artist for TV and film, which came to a halt in 2020 when the pandemic wiped out production. During that time, she embraced the solitude and got to know herself. She learned to live in the moment and remembered why it's so important to play.

She's created a new identity for herself, one that evolves with her as she continues to grow. In this episode, we discuss how she turned makeup into a business by developing her own custom makeup line, but also why she wants to be known for more than what she does. Who she is is more important. She explains what it means to live a life of purpose, on purpose.

Now, as an intuitive life coach, she helps others heal their traumas and move confidently towards their goals. We talk about changing narratives, taking accountability for our lives, and why the hardest job we'll ever have is the work we do on ourselves.

Connect with Song @makeupbysong

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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00:43 And I thought, people do this for a living? I lived in Washington. I wasn't living in LA, in Hollywood, where this was normal. I wanted to be a veterinarian or a firefighter, teacher, you know, helping that way.

03:07 Makeup artists today have to be ready to produce things being thrown at them at all times. I always say you have to be a quick thinker. You have to be able to calm the talent, build them up, make them feel amazing, you know, and still make the client happy.

07:28 So we are absorbing, as makeup artists, a lot of the insecurities, the stress, energetically. So I always say when I get home, I'm just drained because I've taken on all their anxiety and insecurities, and then I'm using all my energy to be like, “You're amazing. There's a reason why you got this job.” and reframe their narrative that they've got going on in their head at that moment.

08:42 When I mentor makeup artists, I’m like, look, it's not about you. This isn't about you. This isn't about how you feel about something. It's really about coming together as a team.

11:03 When you look at kids who are a part of a team, the ones that are coachable are going to be the ones that actually do better, that work well with people, that are a team player. 

11:52 Being an entrepreneur and a freelancer, I'm always looking for opportunities to build a business in any fashion.

15:19 I really don't like to be known as just a makeup artist. I like to be known as somebody who does makeup, and somebody who's knowledgeable about it, and has their own makeup line. But as far as being that as my identity, that was the biggest thing of my growth is to not monetize on my soul, on my life, and being like, that's my identity. I think being a makeup artist should be something that should be looked at as like, this is what I do. But then who I am goes deeper than that.

16:55 I am in so much gratitude for the pause that 2020 brought. Under those circumstances I decided to take and invest 100% into my personal growth.

Let's go back to playing through the day. Instead of looking at dishes being daunting, I started putting music on and I started reframing that narrative. I get to do the dishes. I get to, not I have to. There's something that happens in your body, and in your mind, when you say “I have to do this.” There's a resistance. But when you say, “I get to,” it feels better.

23:54 I realized that I was constantly running from myself, whether it was jumping from relationship to relationship, like you had said, or over shopping. I was drinking it away. I was eating it away. I was relationshipping it away. I was sleeping it away, whatever it was. But once you take and go inside, and you start figuring out who you are, it's a game changer. Nobody can tell you who you are. 

26:55 I used to call it my imaginary dinner table. I would invite everyone over to my dinner table. Anybody could sit at my table. I mean, they were backstabbers. They were jealous people. They were all kinds. I just wanted a lot of friends because I think that made me feel like I was somebody. But as I've grown, and as I've found out who I am, the less people I'd rather have around. I want more quality. And those people that are around me, that are my quality people, understand me. 

29:24 When you say yes to somebody, you're actually saying no to yourself. So making sure that when you do say yes to something, it's something that you're like, okay, I'm willing to give up my time. Time is something nobody gets back. You cannot make more time. You can make more money, right? And also, the people that you have in your life, if they're going to be upset and not honor you because you don't feel like going out, then you need to do your checks and balances. Because those people, the reason why they're upset is because they need to fill something up within themselves, and they're putting that pressure on you. 

34:00 The attitude of gratitude of just being like I'm so grateful for this very moment where I am completely being provided for. I'm in gratitude. Regardless of the fact that my career ended. Regardless of all that stuff. The attitude of gratitude was also the most important thing that I did in 2020 when I was growing. I woke up every day in gratitude for that day to be able to create, and to play. Not to stress. Not to take it for granted. To play and create.

36:41 A Goddess is a grower. A Goddess is somebody who is constantly thriving to be herself, to give to others, to help others with her powers and her mindset and her growth. And so then I became a SASS Goddess – Short And Sweet with Song, and then Goddess. And I want to encourage women to step into that goddess power of growth, of being powerful, being confident in who they are.

The hardest work anyone will ever do - it's not parenting. It's not being a good daughter or son. It's not being a good coworker, or not being a good boss. The hardest job there ever is out there is the work that you're going to do on yourself. Because most people would rather shop it away, rather eat it away, drink it away, gamble it away. Because there's a multitude of different things to do all day long that can make you avoid yourself. And people are doing that.

43:16 Once I woke up and I took 100% responsibility for everything that happened in my adult life, is when things started to change.

46:58 And I started to say I didn't like who I was, how I reacted, regardless of how he came at me. I had no power. I gave my power away every single time, and that bothered me. I didn't like that because I want to know who I am, be in control of who I am. That is the real power. 

49:50 Living your purpose also means knowing who you are, your authentic self. And when you know who you are and your authentic self, you're going to find your purpose, whatever that is. That's what's happened for me, and that's how I know that that is the truth.

51:14 Stop thinking. Stop overthinking of what could go wrong. Stop overthinking about what somebody else may think. My biggest advice is get out of your head, get into your body, and start doing what feels good. 

54:25 You could just be sitting down, being content, and just enjoying music. That's meditation. It's being present. It’s being in the moment.

55:05 Now I live 24 hours at a time. I'm in the present moment as constantly as possible.

If you’re enjoying this podcast and want to join the conversation, the “Self-Employed Creatives” club meets every Wednesday at 4pm Pacific time on Clubhouse. I hope you’ll join us there: https://www.joinclubhouse.com/club/self-employed-creati

Authenticity has been a hot topic for a while now. But what does it mean to be your "true authentic self," and why is that so important?

The full episode transcript is available at http://aardvarkgirl.com/authenticity

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I’ve noticed a trend amongst the people I’ve talked to in the last year. Authenticity comes up over and over again as one of the most important traits. It can sound a little odd – if you’re not yourself, then who are you? But who you are inside isn’t always how you reflect yourself on social media, in business meetings, and everywhere else. Sometimes it’s intentional, because you’re trying to present a specific image of how you want people to see you. Other times it’s subconscious, and you’re subtly changing yourself to try to fit in. That’s not always a bad thing, but if it takes away from who you truly are, it can cause problems down the line.

What exactly is authenticity and why is it still on trend? Why is everyone looking for everyone’s “true authentic self?” I think it’s because we’re tired of being manipulated by marketing, media, and sales gimmicks. We don’t want the façade. We want to relate to others on a human level and we can’t do that if someone else is living a “perfect” life all the time. It seems we’re yearning for people to be real and vulnerable and talk about the challenges everyone faces so we don’t feel like we’re the only one who feels a certain way or is dealing with certain issues. Despite all the great things technology brings us, I think that the constant connection is actually making us feel more disconnected than ever. We’re not actually talking and communicating. We’re aggressively typing words with our thumbs and conveying emotions through yellow faces and other emojis, in as few characters as possible. The letter K has actually become a complete sentence, and a complete question. K? K.

But people have been trying to show the best version, not the real version, of themselves for a long time. That’s nothing new. I always think back to a conversation I had with a friend in my 20s. She didn’t understand why I wouldn’t get dressed up and put on a bunch of makeup to go on a date. But that’s not who I am. I don’t wear a lot of makeup, and I don’t mind getting dressed up, but only if the occasion calls for it. I don’t want to present some guy with a false image so he thinks I look a certain way all the time and then months later it’s like surprise! I’m actually just a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl who doesn’t spend much time getting ready. I always figured he should see me for who I am from the very beginning, so I wasn’t wasting anyone’s time, including my own. I think that’s why so many relationships start falling apart, because people can only put on an act for so long before their true selves start to show. So why not show it from the beginning and see what happens when you’re starting off from an honest place?

People do it in job interviews all the time, too. They try to look the part and think of the perfect way to talk about themselves to impress the person interviewing them. It makes sense why they do that. There’s only one chance to make that first impression and stand out amongst all of the candidates. But once you get into that job, you have to deliver on what you promised, and sometimes that’s when people fall short. Now that I think about it, I’ve never actually done the forced interview thing. I’ve been working for 24 years but I’ve always been myself in the process. I got one job through a referral at an informal meal. Another one I went in for an interview in my normal clothes and ultimately got the job because the owner thought I was quirky, and he liked that. And my last job I was recruited by the owner of a company. I didn’t think I wanted to take the job, so I ignored the calls for months. I finally agreed to meet with him so he’d stop calling, and I showed up in jeans and a t-shirt and got the job. And since I’ve been working for myself, I’ve never made any forced effort with a client, even if it’s my first time meeting them. I mean, these days people are mostly only getting dressed for the top half that can be seen on a Zoom screen, so maybe we’ve all relaxed our expectations about appearance a little bit. People seem to be quite proud of themselves when they manage to put on pants.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t make an effort in our lives. But we should always be striving to be the best version of ourselves we can be, not just act like it. And part of that comes down to knowing who you are. Self-awareness has been coming up a lot in conversation lately, too, and it’s all tied together. You can’t be who you are if you don’t know what’s important to you. And if you’re trying to be who you think other people want to be, instead of who you actually are, you’re probably going to end up frustrated and exhausted. It just takes too much energy to pretend all the time, doesn’t it?

According to the good old Webster’s dictionary (do people still use dictionaries?), authentic means “true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.” Does that describe you? If not, how can you change your actions in a way that aligns more genuinely with who you are?

When I first started Aardvark Girl, I had this idea in my mind that I had to showcase my professional side all the time. I’m helping people with their businesses, so I need to be business-y. So I’d post my tips and try to be motivational and offer my best advice. My quotes were authentic and reflected what I truly believe, but there wasn’t much character there. The more I figured out what I wanted my business to be, the more I figured out that that wasn’t the best portrayal of me. When I really figured out my target audience, self-employed creatives, it started to click more, and I’ve slowly added more of my personality into my work. I still keep a lot of my personal life to myself, but I do share more than I used to.

I’ve only ever really known how to be me. I’ve always told people I think that’s why I don’t enjoy wearing costumes. Halloween is not my jam. Every time I’ve tried, I feel incredibly awkward, and I really think it’s because I’m not comfortable being anyone other than who I am. Some people love to pretend for a night, but it’s just not for me. That’s why now if someone convinces me to go to anything themed or requiring a costume, I’ll wear something I’d normally wear. A couple years ago I went as High School Amanda. I have this old pair of bell bottoms that everyone signed one year, so I dug those up and wore those, one of my old Nirvana t-shirts from back then, got a new pair of Dr Martens and parted my hair down the middle, and put on some eyeliner. That was it. There was a 70s themed party before that where I wore a different, but new, pair of bell bottoms, the same Dr Martens and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt. I’m not kidding. I really only know how to be me.

Being authentic is not just about appearance, though. It’s about personality and actions, too. There are times I feel it works against me because people want me to be someone I’m not. They want me to loosen up, or be more fun, or whatever it is that normal people do. But it’s not that I’m uptight, I just know what I like and what I don’t, and I’m okay honoring myself. I don’t drink and go to a bunch of parties and do the Vegas club thing. I have fun in my own ways, and that’s okay with me. I’m a little goofy and sarcastic and I usually don’t show enough emotion, but that’s just the way I am. I think we all have to do what’s right for ourselves and let others do the same. You do you, right?

That attitude has really helped me all these years. When I meet a new person, whether it’s a client, a vendor, a stranger at the grocery store, I act in a way that’s true to me. I’m nice, I laugh a lot, I make odd comments every now and then. That’s how I got the name Aardvark Girl. I do what I can to help those around me. And that’s why people want to be around me. Not because I’m pretending, but because I am. I don’t need to wear certain clothes or fake a certain personality to accomplish my goals. So I’m not going to waste my energy trying. I just don’t see the point.

I’ve been participating in these weekly Clubhouse chats in various groups. We often go live on Instagram after the discussion to keep the conversations going in a less formal setting, and it ends up being a lot of fun. We are definitely silly, and we make each other laugh, while also talking about things that matter. I had a realization a few weeks ago that part of why I’ve been enjoying it so much is it gives me a break from talking business all the time. It’s more of a social hangout with friends. They also have their own businesses, but by that point we just talk about whatever comes up. And we all seem to be our authentic, silly, fun selves. It’s great.

Being a single person business can be isolating at times in normal circumstances. Add in working entirely from home for a year without being able to see people in person, and it’s easy to understand why it’s taken such a toll on so many people. It’s been a great reminder of how important it is to socialize with friends and to have fun. Sometimes you put so much focus on your work that it’s easy to forget to honor the “you” part of you. I think it’s important to embrace those parts of you – the quirky side, the silly side, the hobbies that others might find weird, the crazy ideas that no one understands but you know are going to work. Be who you are, unapologetically. The world

We all know it's important to set boundaries, but what do you do when you've already committed to something and you're just not feeling your best?

If you’re enjoying this podcast, please leave a review and share with your friends! You can find me @aardvarkgirl on all social platforms and the “Self-Employed Creatives” club meets every Wednesday at 4pm Pacific time on Clubhouse. We’d love for you to join us there. https://www.joinclubhouse.com/club/self-employed-creati

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The full transcript is available at https://aardvarkgirl.com/painandgrief

You’ve probably heard me talk about the importance of setting boundaries with your clients, saying no, and making sure you’re taking care of yourself so you don’t burn out. As business owners, we need to protect ourselves from those who think they can control our time or the way we work. We get to choose when, where, and how we get the job done. That typically boils down to communication and it’s pretty straight forward to understand.

But what happens when we can’t really say no? Not because we’re afraid or timid, but because we’ve made a commitment and people are relying on us. We can’t always shut everything down because we’re not feeling well or are dealing with something personal that’s pulling our focus. There are times when we have to power through whatever it is because we said we would get something done. That can get pretty tricky because you need to take care of yourself, but the rest of the team still needs you to stay on track.

I personally deal with chronic pain issues. I don’t always know when the bad days are going to hit me, so I can’t exactly plan for it. Sometimes I wake up knowing I have a full day of work ahead and it’s going to be difficult because my head is throbbing. But I have responsibilities, so I have to suck it up.

Why? Because if I don’t, my clients are going to get behind on what they need to do. As great and understanding as they all are, it’s not always practical to think they can put everything on hold because I’m having a bad day. I actually don’t think I’ve ever asked anyone to do that. I don’t make my pain an issue. It’s not that I hide it, but I don’t generally talk about it because I don’t need the pity and I know I’m not going to let it affect my work.

Of course, I still use my basic time management and prioritization skills to know what I absolutely have to get done and what I can possibly put off another day if I need to. That self-awareness is the biggest key to all of this for me. I know myself and my workflow well enough to know what I need to do and when. That means I can quickly assess what’s going on to figure out that balance between taking a break I need while also fulfilling my obligations on time.

When I sat down to work on a recent crazy day, I looked over everything that needed to be done. There would be no way to predict what the show might need, but I would have to stay on top of my emails and text messages in case something happened. The marketing video had a concrete deadline and I had to make sure that was priority, that everyone did what they needed to do so we could get a new file uploaded by a certain time. The sale was still a week way, so I knew I could put that on the backburner if needed. As new requests came in, I gave them the same thought – does it need to be done today or can it wait?

Of course, the way I work, I also know that putting things off can be dangerous because I never know what’s going to come up unexpectedly. So that day, I still got everything done because I felt okay to do it. Sometimes, though, you need to take a nap. Or spend time not staring at a screen. Or go outside. Or hang out with your pet for a bit. Or whatever you need to do to make you feel better, even if it’s only temporary. The important thing is to keep realistic about what still needs to get done and where you can hold off if you need to.

Physical issues come with their own challenges, but what happens when the problems are mental or emotional? It can be really hard to keep going with business as usual when some part of your world is falling apart at the same time. If you’re dealing with a loss or are worried about something, it’s hard to keep your head in the game. But sometimes you don’t really have another choice. Of course, everything is a choice and you can decide to brush off your obligations, but you should probably consider the repercussions to doing that.

Unfortunately, I have experience with this too. The day before I was leaving to work on my first rocket launch, my cousin died, completely unexpectedly. The job was a pretty high pressure one already. It was my first one and even though I’d been prepped by the best, sometimes you can’t really prepare for those jobs until you’re in them. I have a pretty strong ability to compartmentalize. Meaning, I can put feelings aside when I need to in order to focus on something else. It’s not avoidance or denying they exist, but it’s a way of telling myself, “Hey, you don’t have time for this right now so let’s put it over here for a minute and we’ll come back to it at a better time.”

In that case, it was probably good that the job required nonstop attention. It was busy and a little chaotic, but also what an incredibly cool opportunity to be part of something like that. The day the rocket was supposed to launch, it rained, and we had to push everything another day. The next day it almost got pushed again, but it ended up happening. But it happened much later in the day than usual, and I was supposed to leave that day. In normal circumstances, I would’ve stayed an extra day to make sure everything got wrapped out properly. But it was at that point I had to have an honest check-in with myself. I needed to go home. It had been a long several days in the cold, without much sleep, away from home without any of my normal life comforts like healthy food, my Tempurpedic bed, my cats, all that stuff. So I talked to my client, explained what was going on (I hadn’t mentioned it prior because I knew I wasn’t going to let it affect my job performance) and he was fine with me leaving as scheduled.

Like with everything else, handling these situations often comes down to two things – honesty and communication.

By honesty, I mostly mean being honest with yourself. What state of mind are you in? Can you still do the job? Can you get through it without making mistakes or creating too much of a burden on yourself or anyone else involved? If you try to show up, will you break down and wish you would’ve stepped back? If you choose to cancel, what will that do to your relationship with your clients? Will it hurt your income in any long-term sense, and can you handle that? It’s a lot to think about when your brain is likely tied up with other things, but it should be a decision based on logic as much as emotion, if not more. Only you can know what you really need to do, and even that can be pretty difficult to determine if you’ve never been in that kind of situation before. But hopefully you know yourself well enough to make an educated guess about what the best move will be.

Then it’s all about communication. I don’t think it’s a good idea to share the details of your personal drama with everyone. That’s not the way I handle things. Everyone is different, though, so you have to do what feels right to you. It’s also important to be mindful of how you communicate to make sure your explanations don’t come across as excuses. In general, I like to believe that people are understanding because chances are they’ve been in similar situations themselves. But, no matter what is going on in our lives, we have to remain professional.

When you’re communicating something difficult, it’s also important to give as much notice as possible and provide them with a solution. If you know that you aren’t going to be able to deliver what you’ve promised, or perform effectively on a job, you have to let the client know before it’s too late. And give them an alternate plan so they aren’t the ones stuck scrambling to pick up the slack for you. If you can’t be available for the time you’ve committed, find someone who can do it for you, and give them that option. Then they can either accept or decide to use someone else. If they go with your referral, though, make sure you properly onboard that person so it’s a seamless transition. This will show your clients that even though your priorities had to shift, you didn’t leave them hanging. This is a good way to keep a strong relationship so you can come back when you’re ready.

Also, if you decide to power through, make sure you can still deliver. It comes back to being honest with yourself and what you can handle. While it’s admirable to try to pull through when you’re struggling, it’s worse to say you can do it and then fall short, especially if it can negatively impact the client or project. And if it gets to be too much, be honest. At that point, it’s better to let them know that you’re not at your best and you are concerned that you won’t be able to give them what they need than to halfway commit and not do a good job. In most cases, I think people will be understanding and work with you to figure it out. If not, it’s probably not the right fit for you anyway and you should take care of yourself.

It’s hard to work through pain, grief, and other turmoil. There are times when you just want to shut down your brain and go lay in bed, lose yourself in a book, or binge watch a mindless show to take your mind off of what’s going on. Other times, you want to surround yourself with family and friends who can help you through a situation. And sometimes your head and your heart are just n

Shawn Eiferman is a singer, songwriter, musician & creative entrepreneur who's been a staple of Las Vegas entertainment since the 90s. When he's not performing, he's exploring other business ventures like creating solutions for working musicians and renovating RVs.

In this episode, we're talking about his career in the music business, doing what you're passionate about, and the two things that will change your life: the people you meet and the books you read.

He's played shows countless major artists, but the highlights of his career have been singing with Prince and opening for Journey. Even though live shows have sustained his career, he always has some backup plans in place.

When COVID shut everything down, he pivoted into the road trip business with his Free Bird RV Fleet. And while his crystal ball is busted, he's looking forward to playing more show and seeing the artistic explosion that's bound to come out of the shutdown.

The full transcript is available at https://aardvarkgirl.com/shawneiferman/

Connect with Shawn @shawneiferman

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

The "Self-Employed Creatives" club meets Wednesdays at 4pm Pacific time on Clubhouse. 

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00:41 Since I was 15 years old, I've been making a living butchering songs wherever there's a bar and a place to plug in some stuff. I just got really, really lucky/fortunate. And it comes with hard work.

03:04 As a songwriter, I made a living just writing songs in the 90s. I've had stuff placed in TV and film. And as a songwriter, it's a different ego. It's a different beast that you're feeding, because the truly creative side is really out there.

05:11 Persistence wins, I guess, because out of nowhere, like two-and-a-half-hours into this thing, he goes “Come on up.” And so I got to sing with Prince. That's the highlight of my whole music career.

08:25 I set myself up for other things besides music, because I knew that my hands weren't gonna be able to play guitar forever. I’m not gonna be able to sing forever. 

11:17 The only thing that's missing [in Vegas] is the songwriting culture.

12:00 What a spectacular opportunity to be able to share a stage with Guns and Roses and Goo Goo Dolls on New Year's Eve in the entertainment capital of the world. And then literally the same night - I wish I was joking - we had booked at Texas station starting at 11 o'clock at night. 

14:45 All my favorite family vacations were road trips in that RV with my kids. And so when COVID hit, we poured gasoline on that fire, and I now have 14 RVs. Some of them we're customizing and renovating and flipping for sale, and some of them are in the Free Bird RV fleet. It's something I've always loved to do. Road trips have always been fun, you know? It's a cool thing, and so we're now in the road trip business.

17:00 You got to meet different, better people and read different, better books. It's everything. The people that you meet, and the books you read, will change your life. You don't have to worry about what to do. You'll figure out a way how to do it by those two things. They'll just kind of present themselves. 

21:23 I really believe in that whole balance in all things. It's a shift, I think, a paradigm shift of, I could be a musician or I could be in the music business. And I don't know what happened, quite frankly. It was probably somebody I met or a book I read. But I decided a long time ago to be in the music business. I didn't mind bands I was in, or myself, being thought of as a product. Whatever it took to be able to balance my creative life with a business model. 

24:04 We started to get the offers that we got, from 33rd Street records all the way to Universal and Interscope. A handful of interesting conversations were going on. And I think the deal breaker across the board, just six months later, was some guy at some label in some office going, “Oh, well, what are your MySpace numbers?” That was it. 

29:14 I created an LLC a few years back that is just solutions for working musicians. I'm in conversations with Fender right now to sell the design to this [built-in guitar stand] to start building and selling the Fender Standacaster. 

35:24 Collaborate. You don't know everything. Collaborating with those people, understanding how other people write songs, figuring out what why a drummer plays what a drummer would want to play in a song versus what's best for the song. It’s empathy, I guess. Treat everybody how you want to be treated is an interesting way to look at your musical endeavors. Because part of collaborating is the audience, and until you put yourself in the seat of that person out there, you can't really make a living out of this. You can't do it at a certain level. You have to make it about them. 

39:00 What COVID, I believe, globally is going to produce is the time and the energy and the passion of the average creative person has now been kind of massaged into this, well, what do I want to do? I think there's going to be poetry, books, music. I think the films that are going to come out… some of the scripts, the stuff that's going to come out of this shutdown will be a renaissance. I think some of the paintings we're going to see, and that there's going to be an artistic explosion. 

Last week’s topic was pretty heavy, so I want to lighten things up this week. You’ve heard me start a lot of sentences with “one of my favorite things about working for myself is…” I often laugh at myself when I say it because I realize I have a lot of favorite things about self-employment. So for anyone thinking about starting a business, here are some perks that are waiting for you when you do. Or if you’re already in business for yourself, maybe this is another reminder why you’re doing what you do.

I'd love it if you'd share your favorite things about working for yourself, too! DM me on social @aardvarkgirl and join me in the "Self-Employed Creatives" club on Clubhouse. We chat on Wednesdays at 4pm Pacific time to discuss these topics in a fun, safe and collaborative space: https://www.joinclubhouse.com/club/self-employed-creati

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These are in no particular order, because it’s impossible to say what I love more at any given time. I do my best to keep a healthy dose of gratitude on hand at all times, because I do know it’s a privilege to be doing this. But I worked hard to get here, and I work hard to stay here.

Maybe one of the most obvious perks of self-employment is the freedom. I am my own boss, which means I decide what I can do on a daily basis. I don’t have to concern myself with looking a certain way, dressing a certain way, or being around a bunch of people when I’d rather be alone. I choose which projects to take on, which means I am engaged in my work and never have to fake it. I don’t have to fill the day with meetings and menial tasks that don’t serve me. I get to focus on whatever I want to do in that moment.

To bring it back down to earth a bit, it doesn’t mean there’s no structure, but there is definitely way more flexibility than working for someone else. I still have clients and deadlines and have to prioritize those over things I want to do personally sometimes. And because I’m a one-person company, it means all the work falls on me unless I outsource it. So it’s not that I don’t have to do all that admin work and other little things, it just means I get to pick when to do it.

Owning my time is another of my favorite things. I choose what hours I work, when I want to take breaks, and I have the ability to be spontaneous. I never liked asking permission to do the things I wanted to do. I’ve always been responsible with my time and work and always felt the corporate structure was too restrictive. I don’t know how many times I was stuck in an office with nothing to do because my work was done for the day but it wasn’t 5pm yet. I don’t like wasting time or filling it arbitrarily, and now I don’t have to do that. It’s not that I have more time in the day, I just have more control over how I spend it.

The earning potential is an amazing part of self-employment. It’s easy to think that being employed by another company offers the most job stability, and while I can see that argument, one I actually made for quite a while when I was still in that world, I now see the limitations of traditional employment. Sure, you might get a steady paycheck so you know you can rely on a certain amount each month. But most of the time you’re lucky if you get a standard cost of living raise once a year, any kind of significant salary increase over time, and any benefits at all. I do miss benefits like health insurance, paid time off and the 401k employer match. But my business income more than compensates for what I no longer have. Part of that freedom I have is the ability to go after any projects I want and reach for goals beyond the scope of what the company can handle. Because I am the company, I know I can handle it.

I really enjoy being able to offer whatever services I feel like offering, and being able to change my mind about what those are. I’m not limited to a title or role. I love being available as a resource for random needs. Some of the emails I get from my clients just make me laugh. Hey, I need to figure out how to borrow a koala who can chew eucalyptus in the same rhythm as the song we’re using for this video. Can you help with that? Okay, that one isn’t real, but I do seem to be the person people reach out to when they need something done and aren’t sure who can do it. I love that. Even if it’s not in my wheelhouse, if I have the time, I’ll do my best to figure it out. I’m nothing if not resourceful and I’m usually up for those kinds of unique challenges.

Choosing which projects to accept, and with whom I want to work, are more favorite things. When you work for another company, you have to work on whatever jobs, and with whatever clients, they want you to. Sometimes that means you have to spend time with those whose personalities don’t mesh with yours. You might have to work on a project with which you have no connection and don’t enjoy. If that happens when it’s your own company, you have the option of firing that client or turning down that project. That frees up room to work on things that are in better alignment with what you want to be doing.

Along those lines, I also love being able to create my own projects. Like this podcast. I don’t think I’d be able to find the time or energy to do this if I was also working a full-time job somewhere else. It’s time consuming, but I don’t mind because I love it. It’s really helped me connect with people on a different level than I’ve been able to do with things like social media or in-person networking. It suits me better. I also think about projects like the “Dream Out Loud” documentary I produced. There’s no way I could’ve taken 3 months off of a job to follow U2 around the world. There are so many things I’ve done in the last 6 years that I never would’ve been able to do if I was chained to a desk 40+ hours a week.

I remember back in 2005 when I was planning my first trip to Australia. My boss said he’d consider letting me have the 2 weeks off. He was a little confused, and I told him I wasn’t asking and that if he had an issue with it, he should consider that to be my notice. He didn’t have a problem with it. But that’s when I learned how much I love traveling and seeing other parts of the world. It was one of the reasons I finally decided to leave the corporate world, so I could work from anywhere as long as I had my laptop and an Internet connection. Since then I’ve worked from Ireland, Germany, England, Canada, and all over the US. Who knows where I’ll work next?

Being tied to an office was never the right fit for me, but I didn’t realize it soon enough. When I think about it now, I don’t know why I didn’t see it. I love that I don’t have to use an alarm. I wake up when I wake up and I go to sleep when I’m tired, not when the clock says I have to because I have to get up in 8 hours. The quality of my sleep is way better, and my energy levels have definitely improved. I don’t lose 1-2 hours a day commuting and being stuck in traffic. I get to spend more time at home, which is a place I love to be. I get to control my environment, so I’m not freezing all day long, listening to all the sounds when I’m trying to focus, or smelling microwaved fish coming out of the communal kitchen. I don’t miss any of those things.

Working for myself gave me back the choice of being social. If you’re not an introvert, that might not make sense. Being around people, while it is often fun, drains my energy. So I’m better in small groups for short periods of time. When I worked in an office, I had to be “on” all the time because I had coworkers, clients, and vendors around all the time. By the time I got home during the week, or on weekends, I was drained. It was difficult to muster up the energy to go out and see friends. Now, I get to be home by myself all day while I’m working, and then I have plenty of energy to meet up with friends or the occasional client. I look forward to it. I’m much more social in my personal life now (or at least when there isn’t a pandemic) and enjoy my outings way more than I used to.

One thing I haven’t really thought about until I started working on this list, but is probably one of the most important things, is how much more respect I get on my own. I didn’t really feel this way too much at the time, but thinking back over all of my years working for other people, I probably should have. I don’t miss people assuming that I would answer the phone, or get coffee for the clients, even though I was in upper management, because I was the only girl in the office. I don’t miss doing extra work to help people who were getting paid for it but couldn’t do it themselves. I don’t miss people condescendingly trying to convince me that I didn’t actually want the things I wanted. I don’t miss people lying to me about what was going on behind the scenes while I naively supported them. And I don’t miss other people secretly doing their best to hold me back so they could keep moving forward. Since I’ve become my own boss, I haven’t had to deal with any of that. Instead, I have clients who value what I have to offer and don’t have any problem paying what I’m worth. It’s been an incredibly welcome change of pace.

The last favorite thing I’ll mention, is the feeling of accomplishment that comes with being in control. I feel like I’ve had to do everything in life on my own, and that’s not a complaint. It’s just how it’s been. I work hard because it’s who I am and have never expected anything in return from anyone. But it’s always nice to be noticed. I appreciate it when someone compliments me for doing a good job. When someone gives me credit for helping them succeed. When someone refers new clients to me because they know I’ll do right by them.

I had too many experiences in the corporate world where other people took credit for the work I did, and often the benefits that ca