Business for Self-Employed Creatives

I offer services that help business owners and other self-employed creatives in various ways. I've never liked using the word "coaching" for those services, but I'm especially moving away from it now after seeing what's been going on in that space lately. What should I call myself?

DM me @aardvarkgirl on any social platform and let me know!

Shout out to Arzo Yusuf of the Sexy Boss Babe podcast for inspiring this episode. Check out Episode 22 for her take on Predatory Coaching Programs. Join us Tuesday nights at 6pm Pacific time on Clubhouse for discussions based on her weekly podcast episodes!

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I have had issues with the word "coach" for years when it comes to that line of my business helping services. I've never really figured out what to call myself in that capacity. Consultant sounds too stuffy and corporate. Advisor sounds too hands-on. Mentor sounds too egotistical. Coach is the most commonly accepted, but it has a lot of negative connotations, especially lately. I have gone back and forth with what to call myself for years and have never settled on anything I love. In March of 2020 when I updated my website, I finally caved and decided to use Coach, because that’s the word people search for when looking for those services. I still didn’t love it, but I was willing to concede that it was the best choice.

But then, during the pandemic, it seems that everybody became a coach. A lot of people were looking for new ways to make money from home, and that seemed to be an easy transition. And with that surge of new coaches in the market came a slew of horrible practices - bad advice, sleazy marketing, and false promises. I've been hearing way too many horror stories about these predatory coaches and coaching groups taking advantage. They are targeting vulnerable women and pressuring them into spending money they don't have in order to "achieve their dreams." That’s not what coaching is about. The more I saw that, the more I was reminded of my issues with that word. I left it on my website, but I changed it back to Consultant on my social profiles because I did not want to be lumped in with those people.

I’m going to stop here and offer my typical disclaimer. My comments here are generalizing. Not all coaches are bad. There are plenty of great, ethical, honest ones out there who genuinely want to help others. I don’t take issue with people charging for their services or building a business by using their expertise to assist others. None of that is the problem.

What I’m talking about is going beyond acceptable sales and marketing techniques and tactics. It’s one thing to identify a need and offer a solution. It’s another to find someone’s triggering pain point and use it to manipulate them into working with you. It’s one thing to explain to someone how your background and knowledge qualifies you to help them with their specific goals. It’s another to lure them into a commitment by promising to help them earn 5 figures a month or 6 figures a year. No one can guarantee success, and any coaching program that makes such a claim is trying to trick you. Is it possible? Sure. Guaranteed? Unless they’re going to pay you themselves, not so much.

I’m sure many of you are familiar with some of these tactics. You join a group on Facebook and someone posts a question that’s something along the lines of, “What are you struggling with?” or “What’s holding you back?” or “What if you could let go of the fear that’s keeping you stuck?” I automatically cringe at these posts because I strongly dislike the assumption that all women in business are struggling, being held back, or afraid. Many of us are doing just fine, thank you. We are in those groups to share value and connect with others in a safe space.

But someone poses the question and maybe you answer because you want to engage. It’s why you’re there. Then the original poster offers you a freebie of some sort, either a document they created or a 5-day challenge they’re holding, or something like that to help you with your problem. They’ll give it to you, but you have to give your email address to get it. I’ll pass.

Or, in a similar scenario, you answer their post and then they DM you, with or without your permission, and offer the freebie there. Or they start a conversation and ask you more leading questions that ultimately lead to them trying to sell you their services, program, or whatever it is they’re pushing. It’s so transparent that they do not care about you. They see you as a potential buyer and are using you to hopefully make a sale.

It’s easy for me to say that’s transparent. My logical brain sees right through it. I question everything and have a healthy dose of skepticism whenever someone I don’t know appears out of nowhere asking questions about my process that are clearly trying to identify an issue I’m having. I see right through that. And I’m not saying I’m smarter or better than anyone else because of that. I always say my brain works differently than most. Some of these people are master manipulators and it’s easy to see how they’re able to succeed.

The problem isn’t just that initial meeting of sorts, though, it’s what happens afterward. Whether communication started in one of the situations I mentioned, during a discovery call, or any other way, the follow-up is usually when the worst happens.

A quick explanation in case it’s needed, most coaches offer discovery calls, which are usually 15-to-30-minute free consultations where you can ask each other questions, get to know each other, and see if you’re a good fit to work together. This is an excellent service, in my opinion, because you shouldn’t commit to working with someone at that level without having had a conversation first.

When it’s the traditional email marketing formula, it’s easy enough to brush off. They offer you a freebie, you give them your email address so you can get it, and then they start bombarding you with a series of emails, often once per day. They’ll tell you about them, give you some tips, share something deeply personal they’ve been through to which they hope you’ll relate, maybe share some testimonials, ask you if you’re serious about your goals, give you some advice, and then they’ll give you the opportunity to purchase their high-ticket item at a heavily discounted price if you sign up today. I don’t like this approach. I’ve talked about on this podcast before. But I also understand that it works and I can’t fault anyone for doing it just because it’s not my style. There’s nothing malicious about it, in most cases. It’s a common sales technique, nothing else. You can ignore them and unsubscribe.

The bad practice, however, is the bullying type behavior that can take place on those discovery calls or when you’re actually having a back-and-forth conversation. Sometimes these coaches will do whatever they can to push you into giving them your money. A lot of money, too. We’re talking about thousands, sometimes even tens of thousands of dollars, for these programs.

Some of them will keep pushing at those pain points they’ve identified. They’ll try to make you feel stupid for not joining the program. They’ll encourage you to do whatever you can to find the money, even putting it on a credit card and going into debt. They’ll tell you you’re making an investment in yourself and you can’t afford not to spend that money. They’ll make underhanded comments to belittle you and make you feel like you must not be serious about succeeding if you’re not willing to go broke to work with them. They’ll try to convince you that it’s a solid plan and you’ll make more money than you can imagine. Just look at all the things they’ve done, right?

But they don’t care about the reality of your struggles. They haven’t been in your shoes, whether they’ve experienced similar situations or not. They aren’t you. But they’ll do their best to make you think they know exactly what you need. And they’ll give you everything you’ve ever wanted, if you’re willing to pay the price.

Don’t pay the price.

It's so important to do your research before committing to a coaching program, or any service that requires a hefty investment. Ask specific questions about what they expect from you and what you should expect from them. How does their process work? What are the specific things included in the package? How much one on one time? How accessible will they be via email, phone, or other apps in between sessions? Will they help you develop a strategy with actionable steps to take? Will they work with you more on mindset and changing habits? How do they align with your specific goals and values? Don’t be shy about asking direct questions to make sure you feel like you’ll get what you need from working with them.

Don’t rely on testimonials on a website. Speak to their references. If they don’t have any, or aren’t willing to share their info, that’s a huge red flag. Some other red flags? Guaranteeing income or specific results. Pushing you to spend money you don’t have. Pressuring you into paying them during the discovery call, or in any way not allowing you to have time to think about your decision first. Talking down to you. Any kind of bullying behavior is not okay. Trust your instincts. If you get a bad feeling about someone, do not work with them. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Stay away. Protect yourself from these predators who call themselves coaches.

I don’t think I fit into the coaching mold. I break the typical rules. I encourage people to get to know me before they decide to work with me. That’s why this podcast is here, so people can get a sense of who I am without me even knowing they’re listening. I talk to them to make sure they’

From a stay-at-home mom to a model to forming her own casting agency, Cast Vegas, Crystal Thurman is proof that it is possible to have it all.

In this episode, she talks about turning her passion into a dream career and why it doesn't feel like work. She credits drive, faith and fear for motivating her throughout the journey, along with working hard and keeping herself accountable to her vision.

We also discuss some positive outcomes of the pandemic, such as finding her love for Lululemon clothing, giving herself more down time, and not stressing out so much to get everything done right away.

Her biggest piece of advice? If you want to do something, jump right in and do it. The worst thing would be to look back and wonder "what if?" Believe in yourself and you might find yourself becoming an extraordinary success!

Connect with Crystal @crystal_thurman & @castvegas

Connect with me @aardvarkgirl on all platforms: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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00:39 You definitely don't have to choose between being a mom and having a career.

01:53 I love the model and talent industry, and I love helping people. And I thought, where can I put this all together and make it like my dream job?

05:02 There is extraordinary talent in Las Vegas. I definitely tried to figure out our demographics, our clients, add a little bit more family and customer service to it, where I felt like that was lacking here.

08:30 When you have drive and passion behind your dream, there is absolutely nothing you can’t accomplish. If you love something, just jump in and do it.

12:03 If you're not uncomfortable in your own skin almost every day, then you're not pushing yourself. Drive, faith and fear might be the biggest components of everything. But you have to have the drive. And if you really want it, you can obtain it.

15:25 I kept my vision board in my office, and I would sit in my office and I would look at it. And on Friday, I would give myself a checkpoint. So at the end of the week, I would say, “What did I do to move towards one of those things, or two of those things, or three of those things on my vision board? I accomplished probably 80% of my vision board in four or five years, so there's just 20% left, but I still check myself every week how I’m getting there.

17:00 Don't think we didn't do the work. There were business coaches, there were classes I took. Everywhere I went, I asked questions like, “What are you lacking? What could be better? What can I do more?”

19:41 I kind of jumped in with that blind faith, knowing that it would come to fruition. I just had to put in the work.

Do you ever want to look back and say, “What if?” So what is the worst thing? You don't succeed at it? But you tried it. You gave it everything you had, and it didn't quite work? Or you gave it everything you had and now you're this extraordinary success?

25:38 There's actually more power in figuring out what doesn't work. If you know what doesn't work, and you have the tools to make that one thing work, you will rise to the top very quickly. 

27:11 Before the pandemic hit, I was spinning 150 miles an hour every single day, all day. COVID, ironically enough, gave me a new love for my job. I'm much more balanced in my life than I was before.

33:03 When you start taking care of yourself first and not running yourself so beyond ragged, you're just as productive. I definitely find myself in a much calmer, happier place after this whole pandemic.

37:08 I know I keep on coming back to the positives of the pandemic. It gave everyone a lot of time to kind of really reevaluate their world and where they truly want to be and what's really important, like what really is important.

40:36 I love talent, I love my friends, I love my job. I seriously love my company so much. But I think realizing that we can do things via Zoom, FaceTime, that kind of stuff, has freed up a lot of my time. I've also hired someone on full-time now who now can do the same thing that I was doing, and so it's made the company actually more efficient, giving me more free time to reach out. 

42:30 If you can look back and say there's no what-ifs and you're uncomfortable, then that's where your dream and your gift will come in. Because that's how you know you're growing. And that's how you know you're moving forward. And there is nothing better than being your own owner and having your company at your heart and doing what you love. There's no greater gift.

Ghosting has moved its way into business, and it's not okay. If you don't want to work with someone anymore, don't be a coward. Have the decency to let them know.

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Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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I think we’re all familiar with the concept of “ghosting” as it applies to the dating world. The gist of it is that two people are having some kind of relationship and then one of them disappears – no more communication, no explanation of what went wrong – just gone. The person on the receiving end typically feels confused, hurt, betrayed, and a whole slew of other emotions. Sure, breakups can be difficult and uncomfortable, but ghosting draws out the whole process because one person doesn’t know the relationship is over.

I personally have no respect for ghosters. I think it’s selfish, cowardly and cruel. I’ve heard some people justify it by saying it spares everyone the awkwardness of a nonmutual breakup. But just stopping communication with no warning robs the other person of the closure they need. It’s become a huge downfall with technology and how people communicate, or don’t, with each other. Somehow it’s become common, sometimes even acceptable, to ignore people. I don’t think I will ever agree with it. I think we need to remember that, even though we’re mostly interacting via typed messages on various platforms, that doesn’t negate the need for compassion, empathy, and general human decency.

Not surprisingly, ghosting has spread from dating to all kinds of relationships, including professional ones. I hear from people, or see posts in business groups, almost daily now with a new story about a client who ghosted them in the middle of a project. It seems to be happening all the time, in different ways.

Sometimes it’s in the initial discussion before a contract is signed, which can be frustrating because, as many of you know, it takes a decent amount of time to prepare proposals and quotes. We often spend time talking to the client to get the information so we can build the budget for a project, agree upon terms, and all that fun stuff in between – work that’s essentially done for free before the job is even awarded.

Other times work starts and then the client disappears. You have questions that haven’t been answered and you’re left in limbo wondering if you should keep reaching out or call it a day and abandon the project on your end as well.

The worst stories I hear are when jobs are completed and the client goes into invisible mode before making the final payment. Those are the times when, all too often a hard lesson is learned about the importance of having detailed contracts signed before work starts, collecting deposits, and not delivering final materials before the account is paid in full. It’s a mistake that usually only gets made once, but it can have a huge affect on a person – mentally and financially.

I have only been business ghosted once. It was a few years ago and a new client, but someone I’d known for many years, hired me to get a year’s worth of bookkeeping in order so he could do his taxes for his new company. There was a rush, obviously, so I agreed to a one-month package where I would set up the system and get everything entered myself and then train his team how to maintain it moving forward. Along with the contract, I sent the schedule with all of the deadlines they would need to maintain in order to get it all done in the allotted time. There was also a clause that if the work extended past the month, or if they wanted to keep me on retainer to manage it myself, it would be x amount per month. Standard stuff. I gave them two payment options – pay the full amount with 50% due up front and 50% due before the final training, or 100% due up front at a discounted price. They paid up front, so we were good to go.

They missed their deadlines, of course, but we were still able to make progress. I got everything caught up, 1099s mailed out, and everything else ready for their accountant. There were only a few things left, including my video training for how to use the new system, and it crossed over into that next month so I sent the invoice. I never heard from them again. They didn’t remove my login or do anything to indicate there was a problem. They just ghosted.

It wasn’t really an issue on my end – they didn’t pay my invoice so I didn’t do any more work. The silliest part about it is that because they didn’t respond, they never even got the training session they already paid for. That video would’ve been an important reference tool so anyone on that team could easily do everything properly. It would have given them step by step instructions for how to maintain the system I set up, so they wouldn’t have to pay me, or anyone else, to keep their books updated. The whole point of that was to help make sure they didn’t end up in that kind of situation again.

That experience with ghosting makes no sense because the only one who really lost out was the client, the ghoster. It wouldn’t have been an uncomfortable conversation if they didn’t want to keep working with me, because that was never the point. I intentionally worked out a deal with them that didn’t include any obligation beyond the original one-month term. It was a new busines with a small team, and they had someone there who was capable of doing it. I have never been that consultant who only helps enough to make sure I’m always needed for something else. I’m there to help at whatever capacity is needed, and sometimes they don’t need another monthly bill. They just need a little help to get things in order and then they can take it from there. That’s always fine with me.

My story is nothing but an odd anecdote. But I’ve heard from so many others who have had much more impactful ghosting situations. Discovery calls that end with “yes, I’m excited. I’ll be in touch soon!” And then nothing. A series of meetings, all moving towards a contract, but then crickets when it’s time to commit. Or a ton of back-and-forth emails working through all of the details to put together a budget, schedule, and everything else that’s needed, just to submit and never hear from them again.

And it’s not just clients who do it, either. One of my clients hired a vendor to manage some important elements of her business. After months of progress, this person went MIA, leaving the project unfinished, several months wasted, and my client having to start over from square one with someone new. It’s not okay. Wasting other people’s time and money is never okay.

And it’s not to say you have to keep a relationship with everyone you talk to. But if they’ve put their time into doing something for you, have the decency to say thanks but no thanks. It’ll take you less than a minute to send a simple email. I don’t care how busy you are, it doesn’t validate being inconsiderate to other human beings.

It’s one thing if you reach out to someone to offer services – a cold call or a general inquiry. While I still think it’s polite to respond, I get that the volume of these types of emails can overwhelm an inbox and sometimes we don’t get around to it. But when time and energy has already been put into conversations, meetings, and verbal or written commitments, let them know if you’re not going to move forward after all.

It’s another thing if you’ve only had a couple conversations with someone and decide it’s not for you. I still think you owe them a quick email to say hey, thanks for your time, but I’m going to go in a different direction for now. Or something simple. You don’t have to give a long explanation. It’s more of a courtesy to manage their expectations so they can move on to something else. And then they won’t keep emailing you to find out what’s going on. Win win.

Last summer, when I was finding locations for filming, I talked to a lot of people. I got quotes, photos, and details to share with my team. After a decision was made, I emailed every single one of them to let them know we wouldn’t be needing the space. That way they weren’t holding out hope that they’d have the job. They weren’t depending on the dates if something else came up. There are a whole number of reasons why I believe that kind of communication is the right thing to do. I don’t like delivering bad news, but it’s better than leaving someone hanging.

The thing is, unfortunately, it seems like ghosting is common practice now. It’s probably going to happen to you at some point if it hasn’t already. So we, as business owners, need to protect ourselves and do the best we can to make sure ghosters don’t put us in bad situations.

First, don’t take it personally when it happens. You don’t know what’s going on in their lives or why they decided not to continue. You can speculate all you want, but you’re never going to get an answer. So why not just assume it wasn’t you, it was them. Try not to think it’s a reflection on your work. You’ll drive yourself crazy trying to figure out something you can never figure out.

Next, until you have a signed contract, be mindful of how much of yourself you’re putting into getting the work. We all want to give our full effort to getting new clients. We get excited about the prospect and come up with all these ideas and want to show people how awesome it would be to work with us. But it’s important to learn how to create an efficient proposal so you don’t waste precious hours on a job you’re not going to get. Templates are your friend. Starting with a ballpark budget range can help eliminate those potential clients who are never going to pay what you’re worth. Meaning before you go through all the line items and numbers to estimate a project, use your experience to say something like this would typically cost between x and y, depending

It’s time for another Money Tip! Because we all want more money but don’t always know how to get it. And when we get it, it’s tempting to use it to buy stuff. That’s kind of how the economy works, right? But, let’s face it, there are a lot of people out there who wouldn’t consider themselves to be “good with money.” Is that you? Let’s talk about that.

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Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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I want to start with a disclaimer. Nothing I say in this episode is meant as criticism. It’s not meant as judgment. I say it all from a place of compassion. I do understand that money is a bit of a touchy subject most of the time, but especially now. We are just about one year into the COVID-19 pandemic, which created and amplified financial issues for people around the world. People were suddenly without jobs, without income, relying on unemployment systems that were overwhelmed by demand, and so much more. It’s still fresh at the time of this recording, so I get that it might be triggering. But my intention is to help so we can all be better prepared in the future. We can’t do anything about what has already happened, but we can make changes in our habits that will help us in the present moment, and hopefully the future.

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, I’m going to get down to business, starting with a blunt statement. If you think you can’t afford to save, you need to address your budget. Saving should NOT be optional. It shouldn’t be where your money goes if you have any left after all of your other expenses. It should be a top priority in your budget.

I’ve heard every excuse in the world, and I don’t accept any of them. I get it. Life is expensive. You have needs. There are things you want. Things that will make your life easier, or your business run more smoothly. Emergencies come up all the time. The kids need something for school. Your car needs an expensive tune up. The water heater needs to be replaced. Your pet really needs that fancy extra plush bed with the built-in pillow she can crawl into. Yes, these things are often urgent, but the real emergency is letting yourself get to a place where you don’t have a safety net. A place where one unexpected expense throws you into a debt spiral.

No one was expecting a pandemic to come along and force everyone to stay home. We didn’t expect our businesses to be put on hold for an indefinite amount of time. Some were able to open quickly. Some still aren’t back. Most have nowhere near the volume of sales they did before, and a lot of adjustments have been made. It was terrible for many, so again, nothing I say here is meant to throw blame or in any way discredit the valid hardships anyone faced. But it was concerning to me how many people went into panic mode because they didn’t have any money saved. No emergency plan. No rainy day fund. Just relying on the check from the last job to survive.

I’m not going to harp on everything that happened, how many systems failed the general public, or how much stress everyone was under trying to figure out how to stay afloat when they couldn’t work. We all know what happened a year ago and where things are at now. I’m more interested in what we can do moving forward.

We’ve been talking about adapting a lot on this podcast because it’s so relevant to what’s been going on. Adapting is great, but it’s a reaction. The best thing you can do for yourself financially is to be proactive. Build that safety net so you know you will be okay if something like this happens again.

I know there are other factors in play here, like how many people aren’t earning a fair wage and they are working hard to support themselves and their families but are still barely getting by. It’s an unfortunate epidemic and I wish I had a solution for that. The sad truth is that sometimes we just have to make sacrifices.

For some background, I didn’t grow up with money. My mom opted to be a stay-home mom while my brother and I were young. I will always be grateful to her for that. But when my parents got divorced, she was thrown into a situation where she had to get a job but had no work experience. She ultimately had to start from the beginning when she was in her 30s. It wasn’t easy, but she made it work.

We always had what we needed, and it taught me some valuable lessons about work, independence, and figuring things out. Part of the reason I decided to start working so young was because I didn’t want to end up in that situation. I learned how to be frugal early on because I wanted to make sure I could always take care of myself. My grandpa often talked about the importance of having a rainy-day fund. My dad encouraged me to save 10% of everything I made. These are lessons I still follow today.

Again, saving shouldn’t be an optional “expense.” Yes, I’ve heard many people call it an expense, but to me, it’s more of an investment. In yourself, in your family if you have one, in your business, in your peace of mind. You don’t ever want to find yourself in a situation where one unexpected expense means you can’t pay your bills that month. If 2020 wasn’t eye opening about how important that is, I don’t know what would be.

The best place to start is by determining your budget. If you want more specifics about budgeting, please go back to episode 26: Budget isn’t a Bad Word. I go more in depth about that there and don’t want to be too repetitive. But you’re with me here now, so I’ll briefly review the 3 types of saving that need to be included in your budget – taxes, saving, & investments.

Taxes are tricky because you have to put money aside, but it’s not actually your money. So it’s not really saving, but it’s important to keep that money separate so you don’t accidentally spend it. The IRS isn’t going to care what happened in your personal life – they will get that money and you want to stay on their good side. The amount to set aside for taxes will depend on where you live. In the US you have federal taxes and, in some cases, state taxes. If you’re in another country, it might be different, too. No matter where you are, it’s best to save a percentage of your income to account for those taxes, because taxes are a percentage of your income. It’s pretty straightforward.

Saving is that emergency or rainy-day fund that you want to have available in case something comes up. You’ll see different rules of thumb out there, usually suggesting that you have somewhere between 3-6 months’ salary in your savings account. I would say 6 months should be the minimum, ideally working up to a year. It might sound daunting at first, but imagine how peaceful it would be knowing that you could have that much time to figure out what to do if you lost your job, your clients, or the ability to do your work. I also advise sticking with the percentage here, versus a flat amount each month, so you are able to save more in your busier months and have more flexibility in the slower ones. I think 10% is the minimum, but ideally you should consider more so you can get to your goals faster.

Investment and retirement plans are crucial when you are self-employed. We don’t have pensions and company-matched 401ks. We have to provide for our own futures. And the sooner you start, the more comfortable you will be. There’s a thing called compound interest that is your friend. Let your money make more money for you so when you’re ready to retire, it’s a comfortable option for you.

So when you’re budgeting, make sure these 3 categories are included. That way you’re looking at the bigger picture and being practical when figuring out how much you actually need to make.

My first year in business, I had no idea what my income would be. I didn’t even have a guess. So to be cautious, I saved a minimum of 50% of all of my income. Every time I received a payment from a client, I instantly transferred half of it into my business savings account. I figured it was approximately 35% for taxes & 15% for saving and investments. I knew my taxes wouldn’t be that high, but I wanted to be covered to be safe.

I made those transfers without fail. If at any point I didn’t have enough to cover my expenses, it wouldn’t mean I could pull it out of savings. It would mean I would need to reduce my expenses. I treated that savings account as one-way only. Money could be put in, but never taken out. No exceptions.

After my first year, I updated my saving system. I elected to start filing taxes for my LLC as an S Corp, so that changed the amount I needed to plan for taxes. And by that point, my savings account was at the level I wanted to maintain. I like to keep a minimum of one year’s income available in my accounts. Some people are fine with 3 months but I don’t feel like that’s enough. I recently transferred a chunk of my savings account to one with a higher interest rate, so it’s good to shop around sometimes to see what’s out there.

With my minimum savings met, I then focus more on investments. Every year, in the beginning of January, I make the maximum contribution to my IRA. That way, it has the whole year to earn interest. I also have a SEP IRA, which allows my business to contribute up to 25% of my payroll salary. I contribute to that quarterly, but then in December I will give myself a bonus depending on how things are looking, which allows me to then contribute more to max out that SEP IRA limit. There are also solo 401k options that can allow even higher contributions. You might prefer to invest directly in the stock market – if you understand how to do that, go for it! There are so many options out there. You just have to figure out which ones are best for your specific situation.

I’m telling you all of this for the sake of transparency. I don’t give advice unless I’ve bee

Jarrod Oram is a creative with many talents and doesn't like to be restricted by any specific label. In this episode, we're talking about the importance of surrender, self-care, authenticity, enjoying the journey, and saying yes to opportunities along the way.

Connect with Jarrod @jarrodoram

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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00:42 I think, just in society as a whole, labels are safe because they give us identification and they can provide us with a sense of who we are. But all a label is is just a title that you've given yourself, and it's easy to hide the shield behind it. 

02:10 We place these artificial terms around what we're “supposed to” be doing, and that kind of limits us. And it keeps us kind of in this tunnel vision mode of staying this path. And I think one of the biggest things that's happened for me over the last few years has been a lot of self-growth, and a lot of taking those blinders off and really kind of surrendering to this world. 

04:55 Words like “supposed to,” “I should,” “I can't,” those are absolutes and we just don't realize how damaging they are to put those on ourselves. Because what happens if you don't do that? Then it almost becomes like this shame cycle. And in a professional world, in a personal world, you start layering those on top of yourself and it gets to a place where you're just kicking your own butt time and time and time again. 

06:44 It was this odd, beautiful eye opener in the fact that I tended to attract very, very toxic bosses. Not only attracting those, but then staying in those relationships. And they did me the best favor on the planet in letting me go the day before Thanksgiving. I was driving home with all my stuff in my car and I was like, blank canvas. This is happening for my greatest good. 

10:51 This is a total Jarrod thing - let's get in the car for three hours go see a Sturgill Simpson show. And I remember during that show, just feeling that warmth inside of doing the things for me that offer that inner joy that nothing on the outside can create. And I just think of that time and time again, because that was the thing. I was like, oh, got it. This makes sense.

17:04 Authenticity is, am I bringing my true inner self? My true inner self curses a lot. It just does. My true inner self buys too many shoes. It just does. You know, I mean, and those aren’t things that define me at all, and it becomes parts of my traits. And I don't bring the work side to Amanda or my boss, I don't bring the professional side to that. I bring Jarrod. Because if I can be my true place anywhere I go, I’m staying true to myself, I'm staying true to people, and that ends up showing. It ends up showing in my photography. It ends up showing in my content strategy. 

23:01 Trying to walk people through their struggles when you're in the middle of them, it can feel so defeating and so relentless, and so never ending. But don't you look back on those now and you're like, I am so grateful for those? Because change doesn't happen when you're skipping on a sunshine with Jesus. It just doesn't happen then. And change sucks. And it is really gnarly when you're in the middle of it, because you don't see the outcome of it. And it shapes you to a place to feel, from a level of awareness, to spot those things and to understand your self-worth. And then to be able to take chances like this to really step in unknowns.

26:44 People are dying for vulnerability and authenticity. And yet, it requires a lot of courage, and a lot of bravery, and a lot of getting dropped on your butt and getting back up and dusting it off lovingly and kindly to ourselves and saying, “You know what? I choose to do it again. Even though I just got my butt kicked with it, I'm going to do it again.” Why? Because I'm going to keep showing up. I want to choose courage over comfort today, because that's where the change is gonna happen.

29:17 Things start with dreams. And then it starts with goals. And then what can I learn to create a plan with it? And then I have to act. I have to take a series of steps of actions, and sometimes they're just small actions. The next step, just doing the next one and then seeing what shows up.

33:09 What I do is I connect people. What I do is I inspire people. I have a good sense of design and direction, and the messaging that comes behind it. People hire me because they want a story told. Yes, everyone talks about stories, but I come in to really have people understand that it's not about just checking the boxes of what you do. There are 200 other companies that do what you do. Let's really look at your why. 

39:08 If I can bring experience, understanding, and empathy to people, and humility. I bring those things to the table time and time again. 

42:39 Relationships are meant to be vulnerable, because in that vulnerability, there's trust. And where there's trust, there's intimacy. And when Intimacy happens, then that's the thing that people can really grow with. And that happens in the professional side as well. That’s what really can happen in the coach/mentor side, especially when people start seeing results from it.

50:14 Trusting your gut and trusting yourself, and that who you are today, what you do today, does not define you. You are your own entity. There is not another entity, there is not another brand, like you today. There's not another one on this planet. You are your own unique selling proposition. And you can pivot, you can shift, you can do any other stupid 2020 words that we've overused, but there's that capacity inside you. And you're worth it, and you have it and you can do it. It gets back to that belief of what are you doing to take care of yourself in order to then take that to the world? Because I cannot give away what I don't possess inside.

Can you sell without a pitch? I believe you can. I sell by doing good work, sharing value, and being kind. Not traditional sales techniques, but that's how I've built a loyal client base.

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Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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In my opinion, selling is one of the necessary evils of running a business. Whether you’re pushing a product, a service, or both, you have to let people know you’re out there if you want them to buy. But many of us don’t like it, aren’t comfortable with it, or just aren’t interested in being salespeople. Is it possible to sell without a pitch? I believe it is.

The stereotypical idea of sales involves the car salesman approach where someone is aggressively trying to convince you that you need that thing right now and if you walk away you’re ruining your life. It’s the barrage of LinkedIn requests where as soon as you accept, before any real engagement has occurred, the person sends you a message asking, or sometimes telling, you about how they can help you. Or in the current day where it seems everyone is a coach and has taken the same courses about how to sell, it’s the person who offers a free webinar where you join, listen to them talk for 30 minutes without really saying much, and at the end they offer their secrets if you buy their course or join their group – which, of course, is usually thousands of dollars but if you sign up today you can get it at a massive discount. And, even if you don’t, you’re going to get bombarded with emails and last chance offers until you have no choice but to mark as spam and wonder how you got bamboozled again, thinking you might get some helpful tips for free. It makes me cringe.

Look. I get it. These are all proven sales techniques that have worked for a lot of people. I’m not negating that. It’s just not my style. It works for plenty of people, and I know that’s why so many people are taught certain things. Don’t let them go until they’ve bought something or committed to a time. Yep, sound advice. But I know that sometimes people need to take their time to think over a decision, and I want to give them the space to do that. I’d rather get a thoughtful yes than a regretful one, where someone ends up with buyer’s remorse and feeling like they were pressured into it. I’d even rather have a no than a yes that makes me look like a bully.

I was talking to my good friend Eric about this the other day. He’s been in sales for most of his career, so I consider him to be an expert at the topic. It came up in the context of people who do the bare minimum but still expect to be recognized, praised and promoted. You know the type. They don’t want to do the work, but they want the rewards. And that kind of behavior reflects in how they are with people in general, not just in business. For me, it goes back to something as simple as the Golden Rule. Treat people how you want to be treated. It’s not that complicated.

If someone reaches out to me about a job and I’m not available, or not interested, I’ll let them know right away and, if I can, recommend someone else they can ask. This accomplishes a few things. First, it leaves them with a positive impression of me. Secondly, it helps them in the next step. Hopefully my referral is available. I know how difficult it can be to find the right fit for the types of projects I usually do, especially when you’re working with someone new. A referral is always better than a cold call. Third, if someone I know and like gets the job, that helps someone else. So a simple, kind response just helped at least 3 people. I’ll also let them know they can reach out to me if they need any additional resources or if I can be helpful in any way. Again, that connects me with a good experience. Maybe the current job isn’t right for me, but maybe the next one will be, and chances are they’ll reach out again because of how I handled that interaction.

In another situation that came up recently, someone I worked with on a project emailed me asking for help. Technically, I was done with that project, but it was something that wouldn’t take more than a couple of minutes, and I knew how heavy her workload was, so I was happy to do it anyway. It’s the same as when someone asks me a question and I don’t have the answer, but I know I can find it pretty easily. I’m probably not going to spend an hour doing someone else’s research for free, but if I can take a few minutes to be helpful, why wouldn’t I? Because while I wholeheartedly believe you should never work for free, I also believe that there are times when I can afford to just be kind.

When I was talking with Eric about all of this, he said, “Do you know what that’s called? That’s sales.”

And yeah, that makes sense. Sales doesn’t have to be about constantly pitching. Sometimes it’s more about building a reputation that makes people come to you.

My business is almost entirely referral based. I do get some clients from the podcast and social media, but at the core of my business is a group of loyal people who hired me because they worked with me directly at my old job, on another project, or someone we both know recommended me. Many of them have been with me since my first year in business. Some I met later on, and they’ve stuck around, too. I’ve had very few one-time clients, and I’m proud of that.

I always joke with people that I will work with them once and then find my way to insert myself so they can’t ever function without me again. I joke, but it’s kind of the way it works out most of the time. You know that show I was working on for 7 months that was only supposed to be 8 episodes over the course of 3 months? Well, that’s finally done. And just as I was starting to wonder what will be next, the supervising producer asked if I wanted to stay on for the next season. Another 8, possibly 16 episodes. The position normally would’ve gone to someone local to where they’re shooting, which is no longer in Las Vegas, but since I managed to do it this whole time from home anyway, that part matters less than sticking with someone who knows the process and has handled it well.

How I sell is by doing a good job. And it goes beyond when I’m hired. Yes, that’s the most important part of it. When someone hires me for a job – whether it’s one project, a monthly retainer, or a year-long commitment – I give it my full effort. I want to succeed, sure, but I also want my clients to succeed. And I believe the quality of my work reflects that every time. It’s really important to me that it does. The work we do affects others, and sometimes we don’t even realize the depth to which our participation helps or hinders a whole process. For me, it’s also about doing more than what’s expected. It’s a matter of being proud of what I do, and having that confidence in my abilities so my clients can, too.

I was talking about the Clubhouse app a couple weeks ago, and while it seems most people are open to the platform and are finding solid value in it, one comment struck me as… interesting. She said she didn’t like it because she couldn’t post links to sell her products, and if she couldn’t sell, what was the point? And yes, it’s true that you can’t post links anywhere in Clubhouse, but there are plenty of salespeople – they are definitely in there pushing their products and services every time they speak, whether it’s in a room they created for that purpose or if they’re on someone else’s stage trying to reach more people. It’s a different style for a different platform, but it’s still there with a mix of the over-the-top aggressive pushes, and other, more subtle ways of dropping information.

And then there are those of us who don’t even mention what we do unless someone asks us to. I don’t feel like I need to constantly pitch myself. It’s uncomfortable, and part of that is generational. I didn’t grow up with social media and this culture of constant sharing and promoting. I do share new podcast episodes every week across social, and I let people know when I’m co-moderating a discussion in Clubhouse. There is an element of self-promotion that I understand is necessary in the current market for anyone providing products or services. You have to let people know you’re out there doing what you do. I don’t know a way around that. But I do know that I have to do it in a way that’s true to who I am.

The natural way for me is to share my experiences and advice without any expectation for anything in return. This podcast is sales for me. It doesn’t cost you anything to listen, but if you like what you hear and want to work with me, you know how to find me. If I speak in a Clubhouse room and you find value in what I say, you can read my profile and connect on Instagram or Twitter. You’ll do that on your own if it resonates with you and the timing is right. I don’t need to try to force you. Do I? Am I doing this wrong? Probably, in many ways, I am.

I hear from so many people that every post, everything you do, needs to include a call to action. I understand why. It all makes perfect sense that you need to give people something to do to keep the conversation, or the relationship, moving towards that sale. But if what’s right for sales contradicts what’s right for me, I’m going to side with me every time. I can’t help it – it’s the way I’m wired. I won’t apologize for it either. My style works for me. Business is good for now.

That doesn’t mean I’m not going to try different things. I do want to release some online courses. Maybe some eBooks. I’d love to monetize this podcast in a way that doesn’t shove annoying advertisements in your ears. I’d like to get some sponsors to help me cover the costs. Maybe set up a Patreon account. Eventually, I

Why do people seem to take so much pride in how busy they are? I'm all for hard work, but if you don't have time for anything else, what's the point?

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Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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Because this seems to keep coming up in my conversations, both on this podcast and outside of it, I want to talk about it more specifically. There’s an epidemic out there, at least in America, where people use the word “busy” as an emblem of pride.

“I’m soooo busy.”

“Oh, work is great. I barely have time to sleep.”

“Oh man, I was so slammed today I completely forgot to eat.”

“You gotta hustle.”

I’m sure you’ve heard all this before. But why? We do you “gotta” hustle? I’m all for hard work, as you know. You don’t find success by doing nothing. But if you’re working so hard that you don’t have time for anything else, what’s the point?

Even if you love what you do, you need time for other things. You need a mental break from work. Time with people who aren’t your clients and vendors, even if it’s not in person.

If you Google quotes for motivation, you’ll find all kinds of memes about the hustle that are meant to be inspirational. So I’m sure my opinion on this matter is not the norm. It often isn’t. But I have never had the goal to be busy. I’ve wanted to accomplish things. I’ve wanted to be successful. I’ve wanted specific outcomes to result from my hard work. But I have never once thought, I wish I was busier.

My definition of successful doesn’t include constant busyness. I don’t want to be so busy building an empire that there isn’t time for anything else. Maybe that means I’ll never have an international multi-billion dollar corporation to my name, but that’s okay with me.

When I was contemplating leaving the corporate world, many people assumed I would start my own production company. It would’ve made sense considering I’d been managing them for so many years. But I never had any interest in that. I didn’t want a company with a building and employees and overhead and all the hassle that comes with that. I wanted something simple, where all I really needed was my laptop, minimal software, and an Internet connection. I didn’t want other people relying on me for their salaries and livelihood. I didn’t want to be stuck at another place for several hours a day, unless that place was my home. I really just wanted to do my own thing. That’s what I’ve been doing ever since.

I know I’ve said it here before, but my biggest goal in starting my business was to make more and work less. That was it. Sure, I wanted to enjoy my work more by choosing the people around me and what my schedule would be. I wanted the freedom of self-employment. I still enjoy that every single day. Goal accomplished.

But as I was working my way here, I never used the word hustle, or even thought of it in that manner. Like many of you, I started building my business while I was still employed full-time. I didn’t feel ready to just throw caution to the wind and let go of my stable income. I still had a lot of things to figure out, and at the time, I thought it was best to try to do both. But I never called Aardvark Girl my side hustle. I wasn’t moonlighting or freelancing “on the side.” I always had that mindset that I was building a business.

Of course, I was working extra hours when I was balancing them both, but that only lasted for a few months. I learned pretty early on that the 40-50 hours a week I was spending at my job was 40-50 hours a week I could be working on my own business. I wasn’t going to find the right clients and projects when I only had a few spare hours a day. So if I was going to give my time and energy to a company, I might as well do it for mine, right?

But that type of thinking goes back way further than that for me. I got my first job when I was 16. I remember telling people that I was going to work hard while I was young so I didn’t have to when I was older. I didn’t know when “older” would be, but I knew it was worthwhile to start early. People my age didn’t always understand. They rarely did. It actually started a whole debate in my AP government class in high school, but that’s another story. Then in college, a lot of people thought I was missing out on all the fun. I didn’t live on campus. I didn’t do anything or join anything school related. I didn’t party. I didn’t do any of those things you’re apparently “supposed to” do at that age. But I never felt like I was missing out on anything. I didn’t want to do those things. Come on, could you really see me in a sorority? I didn’t think so.

Instead, I was earning money. I was learning how to run a business. I asked questions. My boss taught me about IRAs. At one point I was working a full-time job, a part-time job, taking a full college course load, and maintaining my 4.0 GPA. I was truly busy. I don’t regret that at all, but I have never wanted to chase that feeling again. I did what I had to do to get where I wanted to be. That’s important. I’m grateful I started young because that’s what got me ahead. I didn’t spend 4 years having the traditional college experience. I spent those years building the foundation of my career instead.

But again, I always had that mindset that I was going to work hard then so I wouldn’t have to later on. Fast forward to later on. Like I said earlier, when I finally decided it was time to leave the corporate world to work for myself, it wasn’t so I could hustle and grind… a phrase I don’t think I’ve ever used outside of this conversation. My goal was to work less and make more. And that’s what I’ve done every year I’ve been in business. I actually use my old salary and the number of hours I worked every week (including commute time) as the measuring stick to remind myself that I made the right decision. My life is way more fulfilling because I’m more intentional with my time… because I own it.

I’m plenty busy. I’m not opposed to busy. But I do believe in the necessity of balance. If you take on a project that is going to eat up a bunch of your time, finding those little pockets to rest and decompress are more important than ever. It means that during those times, you have to be extra careful and make sure you don’t lose sight of what’s important – the basics like eating, sleeping, and exercising. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself while also taking care of your business.

I’m not trying to tell anyone that being busy is a bad thing, or that it’s realistic to be a business owner who isn’t juggling a lot of things all the time. It’s more about being mindful about your decisions and why you’re so busy. Is it because you are putting in the necessary work, or are you not being efficient with your time? Are you spending your time being productive and working towards something, or are you avoiding something else in your life by burying yourself in your work? Do you think others will judge you if you don’t give the impression that you’re constantly hustling? I’m asking these questions because I’m genuinely curious why busyness is that badge so many wear with pride.

It’s not because I don’t know what it means to hustle. It’s because I don’t know why it seems to be something people strive to do.

A few years ago, I traveled for the majority of the summer making the Dream Out Loud documentary. 25 cities in 3 months. It was a lot. I didn’t put my whole business on hold just because I was pursuing my passion project. I continued to do my other client work because I didn’t want to neglect what I’d worked so hard to build. Sometimes it meant I was in the passenger seat with my laptop working on a spreadsheet during the drive from one state to the next. Other times it meant being up at weird hours because I was in Ireland and my clients were in a much different time zone. It often meant getting up early and staying up late to work on other things because I was spending the rest of the day filming interviews for something that was important to me. But that busyness was temporary. I knew that, and it’s why I was okay doing it for a little bit.

Then last summer, I put my plans on hold to take a 3-month job, which turned into a 7-month job. That was also an informed decision. We were in the middle of a pandemic, production work had ceased, and this was a good opportunity that would allow me to do the work I enjoy from the safety of my home. It was a no brainer. But that show was considered full time for those months and I still, thankfully, had all of my regular retainer clients. And there are often times when everyone needs me all at once. I know they rely on me, so I find a way to make it work. It’s a challenge I’m grateful to have. And during those months, I didn’t completely neglect my personal projects, but when I felt I was too busy, I made the choice to stop. I prioritized all the things I needed to do, which included taking breaks to make sure I wasn’t overdoing it.

I do get the intention behind the “hustle” concept. The idea that we need to work hard for the things we want in life, and sometimes we have to make sacrifices to get there. It’s part of the journey. The best accomplishments rarely come easily, but that’s what makes them so rewarding. And hey, if you’re truly happy with being soooo busy all the time, don’t listen to me. I just hope you’re being honest with yourself about why that’s the lifestyle you want. I treasure my down time. Sometimes nothing is one of my favorite things to do. Not out of laziness, but because I earned it.

When you’re ambitious, you tend to work hard, accomplish a goal,

Casey Eade is a brilliant and funny creative with many talents - voiceover, copywriting, marketing, social media management, art and cosplay, to name a few.

Less than two years ago, she left her corporate job to pursue her passion, and she's never looked back. In this episode, we talk about knowing when it's time to quit your job and become self-employed, balancing multiple interests, and being an adult while still having fun with what you do.

We also discuss the Millennial point of view of what work should be, figuring out what work style and schedule makes sense for you, and how taking breaks allows you to be more productive.

We're happy rebels who do things our own way instead of following the traditional business model.

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl and please email [email protected] with any topic suggestions, feedback, or just to say hi!

Follow Casey @muirin007 on all social platforms

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01:33 I quit my corporate job and I jumped into [voiceover] full-time. And now I've been doing this full-time for over a year. And I can't. It's bonkers.

02:56 I just think I hit a breaking point. And sometimes breaking points can be good, because it was like, well, the worst that's gonna happen is nothing. And then I still won't die.

05:03 I loved it, even when I was scared and going crazy and, like, what if this doesn't work? I was still having a ball. Because this is what I really love to do. And I know that sounds cliche. But man, it makes a difference.

06:20 Because I had abandoned the stuff that was holding me back, the corporate day job, I was able to divert that energy into finding new clients. And I within like two to three months, I built up a full-time client roster.

08:05 I've noticed among folks that are around my age that are self-employed, it's not even a question of “Are you willing to adapt to all these tech changes?” It's, well, duh, we gotta adapt!

11:27 Most people my age, from the millennial generation, have multiple jobs. Whether it's a daytime 9-5 thing and then they've got things they're doing on the side, or they're freelancing and they have multiple projects. I think that's becoming the norm, especially with all the work from home lately.

13:16 Being in charge of what I do has made me so much more productive.

15:25 I think part of the appeal of this online self-employed entrepreneurial boom that I've been seeing is that I can get the work done, you just need to let me do it. 

16:54 I think younger people entering the workforce - they've grown up with the flexibility of the Internet, and they've grown up seeing entrepreneurs and entrepreneurial mindsets - are questioning and saying, Well, why do I have to do that when I can do the same thing, but more effectively, and the work quality will be better?

18:48 More and more people I know personally, whether it's voice acting, whether they’re freelance writers, editors, artists, whatever, are kind of making this leap because I think a lot of people are just fed up with that old world model.

21:07 Ultimately, it's about what makes you happy. I know that sounds so Disney Princess, but the older I get, and the more I do this, and the more people I talk to, do what you want to do. Seriously. 

A big challenge for me was shifting from "Oh my God, I failed once. I have to say 10 Hail Marys. Oh, no, what am I going to do to?" to "What can I learn from it? Let's try this and see if it sticks. Oh, that didn't work. Try this. That didn't work. Oh, that did." That kind of freedom lets you explore and fail and be okay with it.

23:54 I think it was about me believing in me and getting away from all those voices that told you, for one reason or another, you can't do this.

24:59 And I think it's, especially for women, that ability to say, "You can do this. You're going to be fine." Ask for help when you need it, which is so hard to do. But that's the other critical skill I've learned.

27:17 Kind of on the flip side, there's absolutely a tendency to romanticize it. Like I can just go take a three-hour ice cream break or whatever. Yay! You're on your own! I'm free! But now you've got to do the work. Nothing's going to fall into your lap. 

28:30 It's been hard. It's been, at times, exhausting and scary, because it's kind of like I was used to following the mold that was set out for me. And now I'm building my own. I don't regret it for a second, I cannot believe, for real, that I wake up every morning and get to make noises in a box for a living.

30:15 This has also been a big process of me learning. What can you logically, realistically do today, Casey? I am never bored, which is good. I've always got a one-man song and dance show in some way going on over here.

31:46 It's another fun way to get the creativity out. I've been able to partner with some awesome charity organizations because of the cosplay stuff I do, and do some great work with them. I can't stop making stuff ever.

34:41 I think we get to a place when we're adults where we almost tell ourselves, "I can't have fun anymore. I have to be serious." And that's part of why it took me so long to get away from my corporate job. I was like, well, it's not realistic. And now I'm like, who says? People do this all the time! So I want to encourage people to just let themselves play again and have fun. 

36:06 Probably one of the most important things I've learned since going full-time self-employed is knowing when to take a break. Being self-employed also doesn't mean you're going to be working 200 hours a week, forever and ever, and then you crash. No. A huge part of it is learning when to stop. And that's another kind of freedom.

37:43 I can't do anything or make any money at all if I'm exhausted. There's no way. Take a break when you can. 

39:14 Everything's cyclical. There are going to be busy times and downtimes. So just being able to take advantage of that, I'm so much more productive when I do.

41:06 The other thing you start to realize is these [clients], they're also just regular people. And that kind of takes a lot of the intimidation out of it for me. I think people are, in some ways, more understanding than I would give them credit for.

44:50 If you know you do a lot of your best work at one in the morning, and that's naturally how your body clock is, and it's not going to hurt you, go for it!

46:17 Listen to what your body responds to naturally. Listen to what work techniques and patterns and workflows work best for you. Try different ones. A lot of this has been me reteaching myself to listen to myself. I think a lot of our work culture has taught us to turn that off. Don't listen to yourself. Just keep going. Just push it, push it, push it. There are times when you need to do that, and that's fine. But, just speaking from personal experience, I've been so much more productive, and so much happier, since I've allowed myself to be like I work best at this time.

47:42 Believe in yourself and reach out when you need help. Get rid of the idea that you have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps with absolutely everything and you're totally on your own. That's not how human beings work. Use your support system, your network, find one. You can do so much more than you think you can.

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

If you have questions, comments, or suggestions for topics, email [email protected] or find me on social @aardvarkgirl. If you want to work with me, that’s where you’ll find me, too.

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There’s a new-ish social media app called Clubhouse. It’s still in its beta form and is currently only available to iPhone users, and only by invitation. You can find me there @aardvarkgirl. If you’re not on it, don’t tune out yet. You may have heard all the hype and wonder what it’s all about. You may have seen posts on other social platforms with people asking, sometimes even begging for an invitation. You may be asking uh, what is Clubhouse?

It’s not like me to get excited about another app. I haven’t made it a secret that I’m not the best at social media. I’m not consistent with posting because I don’t love it and often don’t feel like I have much to say or share. Ironic coming from a podcaster who’s talking every week, right?  But I am finding a ton of value in Clubhouse. And because it seems to be such a hot topic, I wanted to chat with you about it.

Clubhouse is an audio-based social media app. There are no visuals except for your profile picture. There aren’t any DMs. Nothing is recorded (at least it’s not supposed to be). It’s all real-time conversations. Think about the old school chat rooms back in the 90s when the Internet was gaining in popularity. It’s like that but with voice instead of text. So for me, it eliminates a lot of those things I don’t love about social media, like the need to constantly create content if you want to stay relevant.

My friend Tiffany introduced me to Clubhouse in December of 2020, about 8 months after it was formed. I hadn’t heard about it yet but after doing a little research I was really curious to check it out. Fortunately, we were both able to get invitations that night so I could start exploring. As a podcaster, the idea of having actual discussions about topics was appealing. Especially when factoring in that I wouldn’t have to spend any time trying to create an appealing graphic or photo or video. I could just show up and offer my input where it was needed.

When you join, you can create rooms based on topics you want to discuss, or join other people’s rooms. You can silently listen in or you can raise your hand if you want to go “on stage” and speak. The moderators accept you and keep everyone organized, if they’re doing it right, so no one is talking over each other. Beyond that, there aren’t really any rules as far as how long a room will be open, what topics are available, or anything else. You can find all kinds of themes and moderation styles. There are rooms that last a few minutes and some will continue all day, overnight, and keep going into the next day. If you consistently host rooms, eventually you’ll be given the ability to start a club. Then people can follow your club and you can invite them to join and you can build up a whole new network that way.

People are offering so much value in these rooms. Yes, some people are pushing their own brand and products and looking for sales. You’ll never be able to get away from that. But so many people will jump in and just want to help or offer their own input and advice from their experiences. The app started with celebrities, and many of them are still in there actively participating in conversations. Not just actors, but also entrepreneurs and experts in so many areas of business. Do you want some marketing advice from Grant Cardone? He’s on there pretty much every day. Do you have a question for Tiffany Haddish? She’s there, too, offering her raw and unfiltered perspective. I got to have a discussion with Justine Bateman about the documentary I produced. These are conversations that aren’t possible elsewhere.

Of course, as an introvert, it can be a little intimidating talking to strangers. Didn’t our parents teach us not to do that anyway? I don’t particularly care for talking on the phone, and that’s essentially what this is. But it’s a more natural way of engagement because there are multiple participants. I love doing this podcast, but it’s very one-sided. It’s just me talking. Or my guest if I have one. But other than the personal messages I receive, which I appreciate very much, I don’t really get that interpersonal feedback. The other side of the conversation never really happens. So I’ve enjoyed getting involved and collaborating with others. I do tend to stick to rooms with smaller audiences, but I’ve also listened in to a room that had over 2000 people in it because Gary Vaynerchuk was hosting. Apparently he’s pretty popular!

Like with all social media, it kind of is what you make of it. There are going to be people who don’t align with what you’re looking to do. You might not like the advice some are giving. You might disagree with their point of view. Some will be constantly trying to sell and promote their own agenda without offering anything in return. Some are going to try to implement rules like you have to follow the moderators in order to speak, or you have to invite x amount of people to join their club. Your call. I just don’t participate in those. They’re allowed to do whatever they want, but you can choose where and how you want to engage.

There’s this whole sense of FOMO… the fear of missing out... that’s making people obsess about getting into Clubhouse. People are actually selling invitations online, trying to capitalize on the desperation of people who want to get in. And then being on it all the time because there is no saving this chat for later. You either hear it live or it’s gone. But that doesn’t bother me. I’m not spending hours a day on it, so I know I’m “missing” a ton. But that’s fine. When I have time to be on, it’ll be a surprise what I will find at any given moment.

The most unfortunate mistake I’m seeing… and yes, I call it a mistake because it’s not how the app is intended to be used. But again, every user can choose how to use it. But the mistake is that they are treating it like all other platforms, thinking the most important thing is to get followers. But that’s not how it’s meant to work. You get access to rooms based on who you follow, so you should be strategic about it. Follow people in your industry or in your target customer base, or with whom you just want to connect. Follow people who share your interests, whether they’re related to your business, your hobbies, or just topics you like to discuss. If you follow a bunch of random people just trying to get them to follow you back and get your count up, you’re going to see a bunch of random stuff you don’t care about. And that can take away from what you do care about.

For a while, I was seeing a bunch of silent “follow for follow rooms” where the idea was that people would just go in there throughout the day and follow everyone who was in there. It made me cringe. So any time I saw someone I followed in one of those rooms, I unfollowed them. Now, fortunately, I don’t see them anymore. I’m pretty much like this everywhere, but Clubhouse is definitely a place where I’d rather have a small group of intentional followers than a whole bunch of people who don’t actually care about what I have to say.

For anyone wondering what the point is, I guess for me it’s about genuine engagements with people I wouldn’t be in touch with otherwise. Not just celebrities and other high-profile people, but those whose paths I might not cross on other platforms. I’ve only participated in a few rooms at this point, because I’ve only had little spurts of time to dedicate to it. Most of them have been film or podcast-related. I didn’t pitch myself or ask anyone to listen to my podcast in any of those. I just offered advice when it was asked or offered any commentary I thought would be helpful. In one week, my podcast downloads were up over 60% and I didn’t do anything else differently. The Women in Film club asked me to co-host a room about dispelling the idea that artists have to struggle financially. I connected with others in the industry who I didn’t know before that.

People hear you talk, they get curious, and they check out your Clubhouse profile. The profile can be linked to your Instagram and Twitter accounts, so people can also connect with you in other places.

I would love to hear your input about Clubhouse. If you’re on it, what do you think about it? What value have you gotten? Or what frustrations have you had? Do you think it lives up to the hype or do you think it will fizzle out quickly? If you’re not on it, do you want to be? Or do you want nothing to do with it? Let me know! Send me an email at [email protected] or DM me on social @aardvarkgirl. If you’re on Clubhouse, find me there! Let’s start a room and chat about something fun. If you’re not and want to be, let me know. If I have any invitations available, maybe I can help! Either way, let me know what you think. This app seems to be a hot topic and I’m curious to see where it’ll go.

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

Is there a topic you want to hear about? Or do you have a question for me? Email [email protected]  and let me know!

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January is typically a time when people plan on changing their eating habits to be healthier. Sadly, many don’t stick with it for more than a few weeks. It can be hard to make big lifestyle changes for a number of reasons. When you’re a business owner, you might feel like you don’t have enough time to make healthy meals every day or get enough sleep at night. You might be so wrapped up in a project that you forget to drink enough water or exercise or any of those things that are good for you.

But what does diet have to do with running a business? Quite a bit. So much of how we feel mentally starts with how we are physically. And how we feel can have a great impact on our productivity and the quality of work we’re delivering. Taking care of ourselves helps us take care of our clients who help take care of our businesses.  

I’m not talking about the extra self-care, the more luxurious things like getting massages and going on vacations. I’m talking about the day-to-day are you doing what you need to do to stay healthy things. Eat. Sleep. Exercise. Hydrate. The basics of life. It’s not about the number on a scale, how much weight you can lift, or how many reps you can do. It’s about what you can do to feel good inside so you can perform at your best no matter what you’re doing.

I’m sure it won’t surprise you to hear me say that the “right” way to do this depends on you. I think a big part of the issue, and why so many people don’t stick with any one diet or exercise regimen is because it’s formulated for someone else. There isn’t a one-size-fits all solution for it because we are all physiologically different in what we need. I know a ton of people right now doing the keto thing. That would never work for me. I’ve been a vegetarian for at least 25 years. But I don’t think it’s right for everyone. Some people love crossfit. I think that’s still a thing. It’s not a thing I’ll ever do. Nor would I recommend pilates to everyone (although I kind of do. It’s amazing). It all really depends on your genetics, your abilities, and your goals.

I am pretty sure, however, that if you’re listening to this podcast, one of your goals is to have a successful business. Successful as defined by you. So let’s start by building the foundation that will help keep you at your best so you can focus on what matters.

Eat. I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with food. I love to eat, but I hate having to decide what to eat 3 times a day every single day. It’s exhausting. Especially because I don’t get proper food cravings where something specific sounds good. But it must be done. Choosing the right food can affect how you feel throughout the day. And again, this is an individual thing.

I chose to become a vegetarian for a number of reasons when I was a teenager. Some rational, like the obvious health benefits and caring about animals. Some not so rational, like I didn’t want to eat the food my mom’s boyfriend at the time made for dinner. It started off as a rebellion of sorts, but I instantly found out how much better I felt all the time when I stopped eating meat. I didn’t get so much as a cold for nearly 9 years and I felt lighter - not weight-wise, but not that heavy and sluggish feeling after a meal. So I’ve stuck with it all this time. It helps me stay energized and focused throughout the workday, and every day .

I start every day with a glass of celery juice. About 15-30 minutes later, I have a smoothie – it’s usually a mix of coconut water, greens, frozen berries, orange, banana, ginger, cinnamon, and some superfood powders. I also take my vitamins and other supplements at the same time – a women’s multivitamin multimineral made from raw fruits & vegetables (I’m a big fan of the Garden of Life brand – it’s important to check the ingredient list to make sure there isn’t a bunch of stuff you don’t need to consume in there), Super B Complex, Vitamin D, a probiotic, and CBD oil. It helps me get the day started on the right foot with the right nutrients for me.

Lunch and dinner depend on the week, but I stick to clean ingredients with everything. I’m a big fan of making my own food, which helps a lot. I don’t eat at, or order from, restaurants unless it’s for a social situation. I know people love going out to eat, but for me, I like to know where my food came from and what is actually in what I’m consuming. I also rarely buy anything I can make at home – things like salad dressings and pasta sauces. They’re simple to make, I think they taste better, and they don’t have all those added ingredients when I do it.

Food prep is definitely my answer to those who think they don’t have time to make healthy meals every day. I don’t either, nor do I want to. But I do dedicate a few hours every Sunday to making and prepping all of my food for the week, at least Monday through Friday. That way I don’t have to wonder what I’m going to eat that day or get into that place of being too tired or not motivated to cook. That’s when the tendency is to just grab something quick and not necessarily the best option. It’s all about setting myself up for success, just like with my business.

Sleep. I don’t know about you, but if I don’t get 7-8 hours of sleep at night, I’m not at my best the next day. I can still get my work done, but my brain isn’t as clear and my energy level is lower, and that affects my productivity. I end up getting more easily distracted and am less motivated to get things done.

Part of ensuring I get a good night’s sleep means I have to stop working at least 2 hours before I go to bed, ideally more. My brain needs the time to reset. Otherwise it’s like my subconscious is still working when I’m trying to sleep. I swear sometimes my brain is its own person because it does things that the “I” I feel doesn’t do. Not sure if that makes sense at all, but there seems to be an internal disconnect at times. I also make it a point not to eat after 7pm because I find that eating later can affect my sleep as well. I know the common advice is to get 8 hours of sleep every night, but I find that it depends on the person. Some are perfectly fine on less sleep, some need more. 7-8 hours is my sweet spot. Much more than that and I actually feel just as bad as if I get less. I make it a priority to go to bed around the same time every night so I can stay on a regular routine because that’s what works for me. And I don’t want to be that person who’s yawning on a Zoom call with a client because I stayed up late watching a show.

Exercise. This can be a tough one during the day, especially if you’re working all day from home in a chair behind a desk. I make it a non-negotiable part of my schedule. It’s a priority to me, not only because I want to stay healthy, but because it is part of my pain management routine. I have a lot of issues with joints and inflammation. Some of it is genetic, like my migraines and sensitivity to barometric pressure changes (basically I’m allergic to the weather). Some is the result of a car accident when I was 17. Through many years of trying different things, I found that pilates is what works best for me. Pre-COVID I would go to the studio 4-5 days a week and that was fantastic. Now, I haven’t been able to go for almost a year, and that makes me sad. But, when the studio originally shut down, I invested in some equipment to use at home and I still make myself go to class, so to speak, at least 4 days a week. It’s not the same, but it’s something. O is that now I tend to do it in the morning before I get into my workday vs before when I’d go in the afternoon and use it as a way to separate my workday from my personal time. I’m still not entirely sure which I prefer. But I keep trying different things until I figure it out. With everything. That includes my business. They key thing is to do something to make sure you’re moving. I know I feel lousy if I don’t. And if I feel lousy, I’m not doing my best work.

I do weird little things, too, to force myself to get up and walk around throughout the day. I intentionally don’t have a trash can in my office. I know I can’t handle clutter, so it makes me get up and walk into another room if I need to throw something away. I also took a tip from my friend Melissa and started drinking out of a smaller water bottle. I was in this habit of having my giant water bottle with me at all times, because I drink a lot of water. I’ll get to that in a minute. But that started when I was working in an office. I recently had to tell myself hey, that’s not necessary anymore. You can get up and get more any time you feel like it. So I downgraded from my 32 ounce bottle to a 16 ounce one. That encourages me to get up twice as often. It doesn’t mean I’m going on an hour-long walk, but some movement is better than none.

Hydrate. Water. So important. It always surprises me whenever I hear someone say they don’t drink much water. And that seems to happen a lot. I average about a gallon a day. It’s pretty much all I drink. I don’t do coffee or soda or any drink with sugar. I do love my tea, but I’m a bit of a purist. I tend to stick with straight green, black or oolong loose-leaf tea. Sometimes I’ll add honey, but usually not. And I won’t drink any tea after 2pm because even though there isn’t a ton of caffeine in it, I am super sensitive to caffeine and if I have it too late, it’ll affect my sleep. And I already talked about how important sleep is to me.

Now, I live in a desert, so hydration is extra important to me, but it’s important to everyone. It helps keep you functioning properly as a hum