What Nik Knows

AH, New Years resolutions. Raise your hand if you’ve written out goals for the year only to have them fizzle out by February 21st? Come on don’t be shy now…you’re not alone. On average New Year’s goals last an average of 3 weeks. I know in the past I’ve set goals like “Im going to go to the gym every single day” and I can honestly say that might have lasted a week! SO what’s the difference between those that stick with their goals and those that don’t.Today on the What Nik Knows Podcast we are going to talk though my intentional goal planning 9 step methodology that will help you stay consistent with the goals you want to achieve.An important part of our conversation today is that goal planning pairs with building a new identity and creating habits within that new identity to reach your desired goals.Another reason why goals don’t come to fruition is that we are too focused on the result NOT what the current lessons are or the skillset we are acquiring. We have been trained to be attached to the outcome. Remember that success is NOT a benchmark it is a perspective. So today's EP is a snapshot of my my 9 step methodology to staying consistent and congruent with your New Years resolutions for 2021.

So, how do you handle the hard days mama? You know the ones that really rock you. The ones where the baby wakes up early? Or when they don’t nap the entire time you expected.Or the days they just want to be in your arms…all.day.long. How do you change your perspective? How do you stay present and in the moment? These days test us. They challenge us. They shake our patience.I know you ask yourself, “will it be like this forever” or “what else can I do?” I’ve been there. I’m still there. Everyday I work on strengthening my motherhood mindset. So here are some things that have worked for me and I really think they will work for you too: f you have a partner- communicate your needs/frustration/exhaustion! BREATHE- literally inhale, exhaleWatch a funny video on YouTube/Tiktok whatever to get you giggling. Reach out to a fellow mother- one that you trust and that will support you. Research/read books about your challenge- lately I’ve been googling “why is my kid so fussy all of a sudden and screaming all the time” once I saw some data about this age group struggling with separation anxiety I was educated rather than frustrated with Jake. Find time for YOU. I do stress the importance of a morning routine but sometimes that’s just impossible- so when baby goes down for a nap make it a priority to take care of YOU- not laundry. Create a mantra for yourself…”This is not forever, this is just right now” or “This is not a reflection of my parenting, I am a good mom”

This episode hit home as I am a postpartum depression survivor. Today’s episode with Dr. Kristen Lipari is SO important for pregnant & postpartum moms. Dr. Lipari is trained in Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders from Postpartum Support International. She specializes in working with individuals and couples to address their changing roles and corresponding challenges in the perinatal period (before, during, and after pregnancy).  She goes into detail about what to look for in regards to PPD and PPA and how that differs from baby blues. We talk about how to advocate for yourself in your 6 week visit and what to say to your partner when you’re feeling off. Beyond that Kristen shares a checklist that can work off of to set yourself up for postpartum in the best way possible. So many of us expect PPD/PPA to be at its most extreme when it can arrive and showcase itself on a spectrum, I love the way she breaks it all down. Some of my favorite moments of the episode are when she speaks on how to reframe and relabel negative self-talk and ways to practice realistic self-care. Make sure to listen in for all the amazing resources she provides as well. I am just so overjoyed to have her on the show and be able to provide you with her wealth of knowledge. Dr. Lipari has shared her contact information for you to reach out to her if you are looking for support. Her email is [email protected], 858-461-9986, and instagram @drlipari.

Today I’m going to give you a snapshot of what my upcoming workshop will entail. I am leading a strengthening you’re motherhood mindset workshop in December. The idea actually came a long time ago- leading a mindset workshop. If you’ve been following along for some time you know that I have both done and lead the mindset reset challenge for myself and others. Within the workshop we will be talking about: How to start and end your day & my 5M strategy, reframing self care and perspectives, the bad words jar, and building your identity and so much more!

Today on the What Nik Knows podcast we have Dr. Morgan Cutlip, a relationship expert, who will be teaching us how to communicate with our partners and balance the motherhood mental load.

Dr. Cutlip talks to us about distributing responsibilities between partners, managing expectations (both our own and what we expect from our partner), 4 common ways that relationships break down after kids, and how to rebuild your partnership!

Morgan Cutlip is a wife, mom to Effie and Roy, a Ph.D. in psychology, and life-long lover of all things relationships. She develops online relationship courses and resources at Love Thinks and manages the blog at www.mylovethinks.com. Morgan has been featured as a course created for the Flo Tracker app as well as a relationship expert for Teen Vogue. Feel free to hang out with Morgan on instagram @MyLoveThinks and check out her new course The Mother Load: Helping Couples Unite to Tackle the Mental Load.

Heading out on a road trip? I created a podcast episode JUST FOR YOU! I shared with my Becoming Mama & Beyond Facebook community that we were heading out on a 16 day road trip and received so many requests on our learnings and what not to do haha.

Biggest take away? Taking a “vacation” with your baby in tow is NOT a vacation it’s really just parenting in another city.

So go with the flow, enjoy the moment, appreciate that it might be challenging but OH SO WORTH IT…Jake is still struggling with sleep 3+ weeks later but YES, worth it. Ok, go listen to my latest podcast episode where I give ya 16 tips from our 16 days on the road.

Below are my 16 tips!

1. We had two overnights where we had to room share. Our advice: put the baby in the bathroom or closet while they nap so you don’t have to eat tacos in the bathroom like we did OR buy a slumber pod!
2. Double and triple check that you buckled your kid in their car seat especially when driving up a windy mountain omgggg (we forgot once!)
3. Screaming child? Make music with a Puffs container!
4. Be ok with things not going to plan...like you might have been dying to go to Zion National Park for 3 years and only get to go for for 3 minutes!
5. Baby booties work as gloves if you forgot to bring some and don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t remember everything
6. Your kid might wake up A LOT. Especially if you change time zones or due to high elevation. So think of your baby’s multiple wake ups as more time to spend with them.
7. You might be so tired that one time you put lotion on your toothbrush- it does not taste the same.
8. Just a heads up this is NOT a vacation. This is parenting in another city. But i will say on a positive note it’s seriously awesome to travel with your kid!
9. Strollers and gondolas don’t mix 
10. Have a nap time routine!
11. Baby snacks. Lots of snacks.
12. Bring your own baby utensils!
13. If you think you’ll never be a parent who puts an iPad on at a restaurant you will be.
14. Sleep machine & covering the car seat is key to breaking 40 minute nap cycles while on the road.
15. Try not to schedule your trip around teething, a leap, new found separation anxiety and a sleep regression #holyshit
16. Most importantly- you’ll grow more than ever and seeing new things through your kid’s eyes is pure magic.

Did you know that starting and ending your day in productive ways can support your well being?

It’s time put down the cookies, stop doomsday scrolling, & mute CNN because a new podcast EP just went live!

I got the idea from my husband’s personal development workshop on how to start and end your day. In his workshop he’s teaching people how to start and end their day productively. He’s sharing tips on meditation, mindful practices, journaling, exercising, waking up earlier etc etc etc.

I think these are amazing things but what about when you’re a mom and have no time for yourself?

But what happens when your baby wakes up at 11, 1, 3, 5 am?

What happens when you’re the sole food provider for someone else?

What about if you’re the primary caregiver of someone and don’t have any help during the day?

So, how do you build habits when you don’t have time for yourself?

How do you wake up earlier when you’re already awake at 5am and are fueled on 2 hours?

You don’t.

I’m going to be very honest right now.

I love what my husband is teaching AND I think it can be very hard for mom’s to follow through on.

Our days are always different, our minds are tackling 50,000 different things, the mental load is different than a dad’s AND for many mom’s they are the primary care giver which allows their partners to find time for self care (unlike us!)

I think we are set up to fail and feel bad about it if we don’t find consistency.

Don’t get me wrong. I think his strategy works for people who do not have infants they are in charge of everyday.

So today on the show we are talk about how to start and end your day MOM EDITION!

It is possible to take care of yourself and do it EVERY DAY. It might not be a morning and night - it might be sprinkled into your day.

And the most important thing you can do to start and end your end productively? Tell yourself that you’re an awesome mom.

P.s. have you joined my Facebook group yet? We have almost 350 amazing mamas in there ready to connect and support you. I’d love to have you apart of our amazing community. Make sure to reach out to me or join us directly using the link on my bio!

The day before I interviewed Dr. Dana Sumpter, a new mother wrote in on the Becoming Mama & Beyond Facebook group about working during the pandemic and how it’s impacted her mentally, physically, and more.

I couldn’t believe how timely our episode was and how impactful our conversation would be.

I met Dana through another colleague who shared that she was running a research project on working mothers during covid. Being a research nut myself I couldn’t wait to hear more. I also wanted to have an opportunity to connect with another working mother in the field so I reached out to her.

Dr. Dana Sumpter is an Associate Professor of Management at Pepperdine University's Graziadio School of Business. Formerly a Vice President of Human Resources at Citigroup, she draws from her experience as an expatriate in Asia and her research on behavior at work in teaching graduate-level cross-cultural management and diversity. She is a working mom, with two young kids, and has used the inspiration of her personal experience to drive her current research agenda, studying the experiences of working mothers during the pandemic. 

A few weeks before our interview - Dana interviewed me as part of their research study which should be coming out to publication soon. Today you’ll hear highlights from their findings and much much more. Some of the things you’ll learn today are:

1. The silver lining of covid 19- whether that is changing careers, adding in passions, spending more time with family 
2. The expectations that we have on ourselves and that women tend to put higher expectations on themselves rather than men
3. The motherhood mental load
4. The difference between integrators vs segmentors 
5. How managers can be more compassionate and empowering during this time
6. Having difficult conversations with your spouse about roles and responsibilities

And so much more.

If you are a working mother you’ll absolutely want to listen in to our episode today. Dana gives incredible tips on how to navigate covid as a working mom! If you want to get in touch with Dana you can write her at [email protected]  or listen to her TEDx Talk it is linked here: https://www.ted.com/talks/dana_sumpter_don_t_underestimate_working_mothers 

Welcome back to the What Nik Knows podcast! I’m your host Dr. Nikki Sammet! If you are pregnant or postpartum and you like fitness this episode is for you!  If you’re anything like me you probably wondered or may be wondering when your body is ready to get back to exercise after you have a baby or what is safe during your pregnancy journey. Today’s guest will help us determine what is the best type of exercise and when we should get back into it. On the show today is Erica Friedman!  Erica is the founder of Erica Friedman Wellness, dedicated to helping moms feel strong and powerful at all stages of motherhood. As a Certified Pre-& Postnatal Fitness Coach Erica creates fitness programming that prepares moms for pregnancy, labor, postpartum recovery, and the activities of daily life as a parent.

Her goal is to equip you with the knowledge, strength, and function to heal, move well, and have the energy for the toughest job you'll ever love - motherhood. She offers 1:1 personal training and group training (virtually and in person), with a focus on core + pelvic floor health and rehab, and a safe (re) introduction to movement postpartum.

Here’s what you’re going to learn from today's conversation:

✔️ Why breathing is the MOST IMPORTANT exercise you will do

✔️ What to talk about with your OBGYN at your 6 week check up

✔️ How you can work muscles that we use in everyday mom life

✔️ Moving back into fitness gradually 

✔️ Everyone’s body is different 

✔️ Covid has had major impact on postpartum care

✔️ Mom guilt is REAL 

✔️ Why seeing a pelvic floor PT is essential to understanding our bodies and birth recovery

✔️ Our motherhood identity and how to grow forward rather than working from our old selves 

Here is all of Erica’s contact information and if you offer The What Nik Knows Podcast you’ll get a free consultation with her! 

www.ericafriedmanwellness.com

[email protected]

Instagram: @ericafriedman_wellness

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EricaFriedmanWellness

This episode is gold. Are you sick of me saying that? I know I say this about all my guests. I can’t help but have awesome people on this show. Dani Sackman Carroll is a powerhouse. I literally said wow more times on this show than I could even count. Trust me, once you get into this episode you’ll see why and you’ll be saying wow yourself. I’m not going to give too much away about this episode but my biggest take away was to fail our way to success. We are taught that failure is bad so we stop exploring at a young age. We are taught that there are only two ways either passing or failing due to our academic upbringings. So we stop doing things that we are curious about and want to try on. We are too afraid to fail.

Dani stresses the importance of trying things on to see how they fit both in business and in motherhood! Dani gives 3 morning tips that I think would be a great addition to your morning routine and will help you build discipline in your day - discipline is key for entrepreneurs. Get in touch with Dani!! Here is her contact info: [email protected], her website, www.rawsomeyoga.com  and her phone number 949-705-7700