Your Confident Self

Of all the great communication skills, listening may be the most important. We often think speaking is the most valuable part of communication when in fact, listening is. Being an effective listener means more than taking in information in order to respond--much more! 

Listening to understand instead of listening to respond is powerful. What does listening to understand mean? Listening to understand means being fully present and engaged with the person who is speaking. It means giving them your undivided attention and trying to see things from their perspective.

Learn:

• The critical differences between hearing and listening
• Why listening to learn is more difficult than listening to respond
• Two simple tools to help you understand what is being said

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Gary Chapman is the creator of the Five Love Languages concept. This concept ranks the ways we give and receive love into five categories:

• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Physical touch
• Acts of service
• Receiving gifts 

This episode may seem misplaced in a podcast series on confident communication but your love language is a form of communication. How you give and receive love is communicating to other people that you care and that they matter. When you feel connected and understood communication flows easily.  Communication skills don't apply to work situations only, they apply to all areas of our lives. So, take a few minutes to think about your love language and how you can use it to build deeper relationships with the people in your life.

Love Language Quiz

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The most important thing effective leaders have in common is their communication skills.

Being a leader requires a lot of skill sets. Being able to communicate well is at the top of the list. If you're in leadership and you can't convey a message, bring people together, or help resolve complex problems you may not be in leadership very long. If you want to be a better leader you must improve your communication skills. It's important to increase your communication skills so you, and those depending on you, can thrive. 

Leaders who can't communicate effectively will have a hard time moving up in their careers. Leaders need to be able to communicate their vision, build trust, inspire others, and provide direction. Without effective communication skills, leaders will struggle in all of these areas.

Listen to this episode to learn:

• Ways effective leaders communicate differently
• The types of commnication training effective leaders need

Nonverbal communication makes up the majority of what is being shared between two people. Great communication includes speaking and listening, but what you're saying is emphasized by nonverbal gestures. As we communicate, our senses take in much more than what is being said audibly. We are paying close attention to other things too.

Nonverbal communication includes things like:

• Body language
• Proximity
• Gestures
• Facial expressions
• Tone of voice

Nonverbal communication is a vital part of communication. By being aware of nonverbal cues, we can better understand the message someone is trying to convey. We can also use nonverbal cues to our advantage to better communicate our own message.

Full show notes are available. at https://allegrasinclair.com/your-confident-self

Dealing with difficult people can be exhausting. Even the most confident communicator takes a deep breath before engaging with someone who is difficult. Whether it's a difficult co-worker, client or family member, there are certain communication strategies you can use to diffuse the situation and keep your peace.

It can be hard to know what to do when dealing with difficult people but silence is a valid choice.

Many people are uncomfortable with silence but it's a powerful tool.

Here you'll find:

• Tips for communicating with difficult people
• Tips for removing yourself from unhealthy conversations

Full show notes are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/your-confidentself

Sometimes there are demands on your life that make self-care nearly impossible. As a result, self-care gets shoved way down the list of things you’d like to do but can’t or don’t. Sometimes this is temporary or situational and other times it becomes chronic. Even in the most difficult times, it is still possible to make self-care a priority.

In this episode we look at:

• What self-care has to do with communication
• What happens when self-care isn't a priority
• How you feel when you ignore self-care
• Tips for keeping self-care a priority

What does self-care have to do with communication? 

Simply put, self-care makes you a better communicator. When you take care of yourself, you are able to show up as your best self in all areas of life. You have more energy and you're less stressed. When you're caring for yourself and taking time to restore and refresh, you are able to think more clearly.

All of these things lead to improved communication. This makes your communication more understandable, clear, and confident.

Self-care is essential in order to be a confident and effective communicator. When you're not taking care of yourself, you're more likely to experience stress and anxiety, which can lead to negative reactions and communication failures. However, when you make self-care a priority, you see vast improvements in all areas of your life, including your communication abilities.

Full show notes are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/podcast

Confident communicators are influenced by other confident people. No one knows how to do life completely on their own. There's no instruction manual handed out when we are born. We learn about life and all there is to know through things that are taught and caught. Role models play a big part in how we develop. The stronger the role model, the stronger their influence. 

Role models are everywhere. You don't need to know someone personally for them to be a role model for you. Thanks to books, movies, and social media you can find influential people who communicate well and help you develop a more confident communication style. 

Here are some tips for finding high quality role models. 

• Look for people who communicate with confidence
• Find role models who make you feel good about yourself
• Choose someone who is successful in the area you want to improve communication
• Find people who inspire you to be, do, and have more
• Cast a wide net over a variety of people
• Consider what qualities you admire in others and find role models that possess these qualities
• Be bold and make healthy, new connections
• Take your time in choosing role models

Communication is essential for our everyday lives. We use communication to interact with others, share our thoughts. Developing a healthy communication style is easier when you have someone to show you the way. We can't expect to always know the best tips, tricks, and skills we need for confident communication. Thankfully we can observe or speak to people who influence us. If you want to see growth in your communication style, find and follow people who inspire you.

Full show notes available at https://allegrasinclair.com/your-confident-self

In episode 85 I shared how your childhood can impact your communication style. Maybe your communication skills need some work and you have bad habits that should be broken. That's ok! You can always develop better communication skills. 

The first step in dropping a bad communication habit is recognizing it and owning it. You may be unaware that you've got some poor communication habits. You can't change something you're not aware of or won't acknowledge. The good news is there's plenty you can do to identify, break, and replace your bad habits with more effective ones. Try these steps: 

• Assessment
• Evaluation
• Planning
• Implementing 
• Practicing 

Bad communication habits can be broken! By taking the time to assess, evaluate, plan, implement and practice better communication skills, you'll develop healthier communication habits that will serve you well in all situations. Soon your bad habit will be a thing of the past. Keep a journal or get a buddy to join you for accountability while you're practicing the new behaviors. 

Don't stress yourself if you've got some bad habits when it comes to communicating, this is very common. You can drop those bad habits and learn to effectively communicate in very healthy ways. Follow these five steps to identify and remove your bad habits from your communication style.

Full show notes are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/your-confident-self

There's nothing like communicating with a confident woman who is secure in herself. Confident women communicate with ease and leave people feeling better after spending time with them. Wouldn't it be nice to feel your best every time you communicate? You can, by focusing on your confidence! 

Women who communicate confidently share some key characteristics. They:

1. Tend to be more positive than negative
2. Are comfortable with themselves
3. Know what they want to communicate
4. Are assertive
5. Are respectful of others
6. Are good listeners
7. Uunderstand others
8. Are non-judgmental

Being a confident communicator leads to any number of positive outcomes. From being non-judgmental to building better relationships, confident women top the list of effective and powerful speakers. Working on your confidence can help you improve your interpersonal skills and develop an effective communication style.  

Full show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/086

Your parents didn't do this on purpose but they may have sabotaged your communication style. If you find that you have difficulty communicating or often find yourself at odds with other people, it could be that your childhood sabotaged your communication style. We learn what we live and if you lived in a home with chaos or unhealthy forms of communication, it's likely you adopted those traits and you're still using that framework as an adult. You might not realize it, but these childhood habits are holding you back.

3 ways your childhood may have sabotaged your communication style. In your childhood:

• the key people in your life sent mixed messages
• you were unable or unwilling to be direct
• your opinions or thoughts weren't encouraged or considered

Your childhood has an impact on every aspect of your life, including how you communicate. If your childhood communications weren't healthy, it is showing up in how you relate to and communicate with others. Getting some insight into your childhood can help determine if it influenced your communication style in positive or negative ways. If you discover some gaps, it's a great time to learn some confident communication skills that can overcome your earlier lessons. 

Full show notes are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/podcast