Dads With Daughters

In this episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, we welcome Cordan James, the newly appointed executive director of Fathering Together, a 501(c)(3) organization that is the host of this podcast.

Cordan James is a father of three, one of whom is a daughter and he opens up about his journey into fatherhood, sharing his excitement upon learning he would be a father to a girl. He recounts his preparations, both financial and mental, and the steps he took to ensure he was ready to provide and protect for his family, emphasizing the importance of mental health in his journey as a father. Cordan reflects on his past experiences as an army veteran dealing with PTSD and the importance of maintaining his mental well-being as a parent.

The conversation also discusses fears that fathers often experience in raising daughters, with Cordan acknowledging the fear of failure and the concern about maintaining a strong bond as his daughter grows older. He highlights the significance of intentional parenting and creating a unique connection with his daughter. Cordan elaborates on the special activities and shared experiences that have strengthened their bond, from touching moments and engaging in activities to volunteering together as a family.

The discussion further explores how Cordan balances the demands of work, running his own business, and being the executive director of Fathering Together while prioritizing his family and centering his life around them. Cordan's approach to work and family life allows for effective balance and aligns with the organization's mission.

Cordan shares his journey into the Fathering Together communities and the impact they had on his perspective of fatherhood. He attributes his decision to become the executive director to the example set by other fathers and the dedication to fatherhood that he witnessed within the community. He discusses his vision for the organization, emphasizing the importance of equality, breaking the stigma around fatherhood, and supporting fathers in being intentional in their roles. Cordan underlines the significance of fathers knowing they are enough and having a support system to drive positive change in the perception of fatherhood.

In conclusion, Christopher acknowledges the ongoing work required to change the perception of fatherhood and praises Cordan for stepping into the role of executive director to lead the organization into its next phase. The episode is a testament to the importance of fathers' roles in parenting and the community's dedication to supporting one another on this shared journey.

If you've enjoyed today's episode of the Dads With Daughters podcast, we invite you to check out theFatherhood Insider. The Fatherhood Insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual, and most are figuring it out as they go along. The Fatherhood Insider is full of valuable resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step-by-step roadmaps, and more you will engage and learn with experts but more importantly with dads like you. So check it out today!

TRANSCRIPT

Christopher Lewis [00:00:06]:

Welcome to Dads With Daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:

Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong, Independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. As always, every week, you and I are on a journey together. We have an opportunity to be able to Talk together, work together to be able to support each other in this journey that we're on in raising daughters. Such an important journey, such an important job that we all have in being fathers of daughters. And I love being able to sit down with you every week, to be able to have these conversations, to be able to work with you and talk to you, to hear from you About the things that you are dealing with, the struggles that you're dealing with, whatever it may be. Every week, I also love being able to bring you different guests. People that are walking this journey alongside you or have resources that'll help you to be an even more engaged dad, A better father in the end.

Christopher Lewis [00:01:16]:

And this week, we've got another great guest with us. Corden James is with us today. And Corden is the brand new executive director of Fathering Together. We've been talking about Fathering Together for years, And Fathering Together is the five zero one c three organization that this podcast is a part of. And Corden joined our organization, Okay. Actually, quite a while ago, but joined us as the executive director just recently. And we're gonna get to know him a little bit more. But first and foremost, We've got to get to know him more as a father first, Cordan, thanks so much for being here today.

Cordan James [00:01:52]:

Absolutely. Honored to be here, Chris.

Christopher Lewis [00:01:54]:

It is my pleasure having you here today. I love being able to talk to different dads about the experiences that they've had. You got 3 kids, one of which is a daughter. I wanna go back in time. I wanna turn that clock all the way back to that 1st moment that you found out that you were going to be a father to a daughter. What was going through your head?

Cordan James [00:02:10]:

I was excited. I've always wanted to have my daughter. Just as soon as I found out, I, you know, I started the books and finding out all I could about raising a girl. First of all, just having a baby, period, and what my goals and responsibilities are. And then, you know, from that kind of plan in my legacy as far as being a father to her, getting myself set up and financially stable and my mental health in the right place. And yeah.

Christopher Lewis [00:02:33]:

When you said that you needed to get your mental health in the right place, talk to me about that. What did that what does that mean to you, and what did you have to do to prepare yourself?

Cordan James [00:02:40]:

Well, Chris, I am an army veteran. I, you know, spent 5 years active duty army. So when I speak of mental health was really making sure that I had my anxiety in check, my PTSD that I experienced at war and just from life, being able to just find my calmness, find my spirituality, And, you know, I think most of all, just being able to to be present for fatherhood. You know? There's no there's no workbook when it comes to raising children, Raising a daughter. I'm used to raising boys, and I think that's a it's a different approach raising a daughter.

Christopher Lewis [00:03:14]:

As a veteran, as someone that has dealt with PTSD. There are other dads that are dealing with that as well, and some may have Dealt with it and and really worked through it. Others may have set it to the side and are still working through it themselves. Talk to me about the journey that you had to go on and what you had to do to prepare yourself and get through, Like you said, in getting yourself mentally ready, but to work through that PTSD that that you Have in your life. And I say have, because I know that it's a constant journey. But talk to me about what you had, what you have to do on a daily basis, On a regular basis, what you had to do prior to your daughter being born to be able to work through that PTSD.

Cordan James [00:04:03]:

Absolutely. I think coming home from Iraq, it started off with Therapy. Being able to meet with my VA therapist on a regular basis, setting that up. I would say another important thing for me was, fitness, Being able to to check my health, being on a regular workout schedule, and, you know, some of the other things like doing things for myself. I think after serving in the military, you know, there's 1% of us Serve in the military, so it's not like I'm able to walk around every day with people that who share the same experiences as I do. So that, you know, that vetting myself, Finding security within my own self, getting on a great schedule that took care of me first before I'm able to pour out for my children and my my partner at her mother, you know, that it took reading some books on how to how to speak to children, you know, on how to to get to their level, to bring a level of understanding. The normal development of a child was important for me to understand. Right? Having anxiety and PTSD.

Cordan James [00:04:57]:

Sometimes, you know, screaming from a child can be very triggering. When you're not able to control the situation, you're not able to calm my child down. Those are things that I faced as a father.

Christopher Lewis [00:05:07]:

So in having this in your life And having this as something that you're constantly working on. How do you talk to your kids about PTSD And what you're dealing with, because mental health is not easy to talk to anyone about, but let alone when you live with individuals or have people in their life and they don't understand what's going on. So how do you or how have you Been able to talk to your kids about this so that they understand it and that they understand what you're going through.

In this episode of the "Dads with Daughters" podcast, host Christopher Lewis welcomes author and parenting expert Michelle Icard. The podcast aims to provide resources and support to help fathers be the best they can be in raising strong, independent daughters.

Christopher introduces Michelle Icard, highlighting her extensive experience as a writer and her focus on parenting topics. Michelle is the author of several books, including "14 Talks by Age 14," "Middle School Makeover," and her newest book, "Eight Setbacks that can make a child a Success." She's also a parent herself, with two young adult children.

Michelle shares her journey into writing and parenting support. She mentions that her initial foray into writing was sparked by a teacher who recognized her writing skills when she was a 9th grader. This experience helped her identify herself as a writer, even though it wasn't her primary focus at the time. She later developed a social leadership curriculum for middle schoolers, which became the basis for her first book.

The conversation transitions into discussing Michelle's focus on middle school children and the challenges they face during that developmental stage. She explains that middle school is a critical time when kids are building their adult brains, bodies, and identities, which can lead to both internal and external struggles. She emphasizes the importance of understanding this transformative process.

The podcast delves into Michelle's book "14 Talks by Age 14," where she provides practical guidance for parents on how to approach essential conversations with their children, from topics like sex and sexuality to friendship and risk-taking. The book includes conversation scripts, conversation starters, and tips for initiating discussions with children who might not always be receptive.

The conversation evolves to discuss Michelle's latest book, "Eight Setbacks that can make a child a Success." Michelle explains that she identified eight archetypal setbacks that children commonly face during their development. These setbacks include the rebel, the daredevil, the misfit, the ego, the loner, the sensitive one, the black sheep, and the benchwarmer. She emphasizes that children may move through different archetypes at various stages of their lives. Michelle's three-step approach to handling setbacks—contain, resolve, and evolve—is discussed in detail.

The podcast highlights that the book is not just for parents of middle schoolers; it's relevant for parents with children aged 8 to 18. Christopher emphasizes the longevity of the lessons Michelle provides, which continue to be applicable as children grow into young adults.

Michelle expresses her desire for parents to feel relief after reading her book. She wants parents to understand that the challenges their children face are part of the normal developmental process. She emphasizes that mistakes and setbacks are opportunities for growth and learning.

Christopher encourages listeners to connect with Michelle through her website, michelleicard.com, and her Instagram profile. He also mentions her Facebook group, "Less Stressed Middle School Parents," which is relevant for parents of middle school and high school children.

The episode concludes with a message of encouragement for parents to embrace the challenges and setbacks their children face, recognizing that these experiences contribute to their growth into capable, confident adults.

If you've enjoyed today's episode of the Dads With Daughters podcast, we invite you to check out theFatherhood Insider. The Fatherhood Insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual, and most are figuring it out as they go along. The Fatherhood Insider is full of valuable resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step-by-step roadmaps, and more you will engage and learn with experts but more importantly with dads like you. So check it out today!

TRANSCRIPT

Christopher Lewis [00:00:06]:

Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads resources and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast, where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughter's lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. As always, every week you and I are on a journey together and it's a great opportunity for us to be able to talk one on one about the journey that you're on and raising your daughters, it's not always going to be easy. It's not always going to be a simple journey. There's going to be bumps in the road, but that's why we're here. We're here to walk alongside you as you go through this and hopefully give you some tips, some hints, some resources, some things that you can draw on, some tools for that toolbox that you carry with you that will help you in that journey that you're on.

Christopher Lewis [00:01:03]:

Every week I bring you different guests, different people from different walks of life, dads, moms, other resources that will help you to be able to do just that. And that's what this show is all about. This show is all about helping you to walk this journey. And I am so happy that every week I get to have that opportunity with you. This week, we've got another great guest with us today. Michelle Eichert is with us today. And Michelle has written for the Today Show Parenting Team, NBC News, Learn, CNN Science and Wellness and The Washington Post. She's the author of a few different books, one called 14 Talks by Age 14 and Middle School Makeover.

Christopher Lewis [00:01:46]:

And we're also going to be talking about a brand new book that she has written called Eight Setbacks that can make a child a Success. And I'm really excited to be able to talk to her because she is a parent herself. She has two young adult children, and also all these topics are definitely relevant to the journey that thank you so much for having me. I'm really happy to chat our parenting experience. So Michelle, thanks so much for being here today. I'm really excited to be able to have you on and to talk about not only the new book, but some of these other books too, because I think all of these topics are ones that we probably could have multiple podcast episodes on because they're definitely issues and things that we deal with as parents. I guess first and foremost, I'd love to go back. I said that you have a brand new book that you have called Eight Setbacks that can make a child a success.

Christopher Lewis [00:02:48]:

But before we jump into that, you've had three different books that you have written and I would love to kind of go back in time because all of these are talking about kids, they're talking about parents, they're talking about working with kids. Talk to me a little bit about your background that led you to wanting to be a writer. Because I've written books, I know how much time and effort it takes, and it is definitely a passion project to get these things done. So talk to me about the journey and what made you decide you wanted to be an author. T

Michelle Icard [00:03:55]:

The first book came out in 2015. Prior to that book, I had been working in this field with young adolescents and their parents and their schools because I had developed a curriculum, which I called a social leadership curriculum, and it was for middle schoolers, and it started in 2004. So my kids were two and four at the time. My kids are now 21 and 23, so they have really grown up through all of this and have been wonderful guinea pigs for me personally and professionally to help me figure things out. But I started not thinking that I would write a book. I always knew that I loved writing. And I will say that there was a moment in my life when I was a 9th grader and I felt like most 9th graders probably do, which is I had a big question mark as to who I was. And I didn't really know who to be friends with or how I wanted to present myself or what I thought about things. I was really floundering. And we were given an assignment in 9th grade English to write a short biography, a two page story from our life, and I did it. And I was a nervous kid. I was a very anxious, nervous kid, as probably many writers were.

Michelle Icard [00:04:33]:

And so I handed in my paper, and it came back with all these red marks on it. And I panicked because this happened to be a teacher at our school who was known for being very loud and very aggressive, and he might throw a book across the room. The teachers could do that kind of thing. And so I saw the red marks, and I thought, oh, please let me just be swallowed up by the earth. I can't take it. And at the top of the paper, he had written a minus you are a writer, period. And everything changed for me in that moment. I thought, oh, my gosh, this is who I am.

Michelle Icard [00:05:08]:

Thank goodness someone told me who I am, because often we're afraid of giving kids labels, but I tell you, sometimes it's wonderful to be told. I think you're a blank. I think you're a diplomat, I think you're a writer, I think you're a musician, I think you're an artist, I think you're an attorney. I think whatever. That felt so good for me. But in any event, I tucked that away as just sort of a pleasure practice. I liked to write kind

In this episode of "Dads with Daughters," host Christopher Lewis introduces the show's mission, which is to provide resources and support for fathers to become the best dads they can be, especially in raising strong, independent daughters. He emphasizes the importance of the journey fathers embark on in raising their daughters and acknowledges the ups and downs they may encounter. Christopher encourages fathers not to go through this journey alone and highlights the abundant resources and people available to help them improve their parenting skills.

Christopher then introduces the episode's guest, Elizabeth Usovicz, who is the past Rotary International director, the chair of the Girls Empowerment Global Task Force for Rotary, and a Rotary International Women of Action honoree. The main focus of this episode is Rotary International's Girls Empowerment Initiative, which has been ongoing for three years. Christopher explains his involvement as a Rotarian and the reason for discussing Rotary's initiative in the context of empowering girls.

Elizabeth provides an overview of Rotary International, its history, and its mission, which centers on humanitarian service both locally and globally. She emphasizes Rotary's role in creating positive change in communities and mentions that Rotary has over 1.4 million members worldwide.

The discussion shifts to the Girls Empowerment Initiative. Elizabeth explains how Rotary's then-President, Sheikh Meta, initiated this focus three years ago. The goal was to enhance girls' well-being, education, safety, and economic opportunities worldwide. The initiative's broad scope allows local Rotary clubs to adapt projects to address specific challenges faced by girls in their communities.

Elizabeth shares examples of successful projects, such as providing gender-specific latrines in schools to improve girls' access to education. Another project involves donating feminine hygiene products to local food banks to ensure girls have the necessary resources for their menstrual hygiene. These projects highlight how even small-scale efforts can have a significant impact.

Christopher and Elizabeth discuss the initiative's goals for the current year and its vision for the next five years. They emphasize the importance of expanding partnerships, fostering collaboration, and integrating girls' empowerment into Rotary's core activities.

Towards the end of the episode, Elizabeth provides recommendations for individuals who want to support girls' empowerment. She encourages people to connect with their local Rotary clubs, collaborate with schools, and become mentors or role models for girls. Elizabeth emphasizes the crucial role fathers play in shaping girls' perceptions of relationships and encourages them to be positive role models.

Christopher expresses his gratitude to Elizabeth for her dedication to empowering girls worldwide and highlights the impact of her work.

The episode concludes with Christopher reminding listeners to check out the Fatherhood Insider, an essential resource for dads seeking guidance on their parenting journey. He encourages fathers of daughters to join the Dads With Daughters Facebook community and looks forward to having more inspiring guests in the future. The episode ends with a call to action for fathers to be the best dads they can be.

If you've enjoyed today's episode of the Dads With Daughters podcast, we invite you to check out theFatherhood Insider. The Fatherhood Insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual, and most are figuring it out as they go along. The Fatherhood Insider is full of valuable resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step-by-step roadmaps, and more you will engage and learn with experts but more importantly with dads like you. So check it out today!

TRANSCRIPT

Christopher Lewis [00:00:06]:

Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight Dads resources and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Hey, everyone. This is Chris, and welcome to Dads with Daughters, where we bring you guests to help you be active participants in your daughter's lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. And as always, every week, you and I are on a journey together. We're on a journey to raise our daughters and be able to raise them into the strong, independent women that we want them to be. I love being on this journey with you because for you and I, it is a journey.

Christopher Lewis [00:00:45]:

There's going to be ups. There's going to be downs. There's going to be things that happen that we're like, what the heck? And then there's going to be times where things are going really smooth, and this is a big but you don't have to do this alone. And that's the thing that I keep telling you every week, is that you don't have to father alone. And that's important because there are so many resources, but there's so many people around you that can help you to be a better father. And that's why every week, I love being able to have you listen in. And I bring you different guests that have different perspectives, different things that they offer to be able to help you be the best dad that you can be. Sometimes it's other fathers that are fathering in different ways.

Christopher Lewis [00:01:31]:

Sometimes it's other resources that are out there that are there for you to tap into to help you this week. We got another great guest with us this week. Elizabeth Yusuf is with us. And Elizabeth is the past Rotary International director, as well as the chair of the Girls empowerment global task force for Rotary and a Rotary International women of action honoree. Today we're going to be talking about Rotary International. If those of you don't know what Rotary is, we're going to talk about that, too. I will be very upfront and say I am a Rotarian, proud to be a Rotarian. Been a Rotarian for quite a few years, and I am currently the president of our local Rotary Club.

Christopher Lewis [00:02:16]:

And I love talking about Rotary. Haven't really talked to you about Rotary before, but the reason that we're talking about this and that we've got Elizabeth Usovicz on today is for the past three years, there has been an initiative within rotary to focus on girls. Empowerment. And that ties in very well to the work that you and I are doing every day. To be able to empower our own daughters and the girls around our daughters, and beyond that, to help them to be successful in life. I'm really excited to have Elizabeth here and to talk about this great initiative. Elizabeth, thanks so much for being here.

Elizabeth Usovicz [00:02:57]:

Oh, it is my pleasure, Christopher, to be with you. Thank you for inviting me.

Christopher Lewis [00:03:01]:

It is my pleasure having you here. I guess, first and foremost, I said that I'm a Rotarian and I could talk about it, but I'm going to let you talk. Why don't we step back before we talk about this initiative? Talk to me about Rotary. What is Rotary? And then let's talk about why did Rotary start this initiative, this girls empowerment initiative, three years ago?

Elizabeth Usovicz [00:03:23]:

Well, I should start by thanking you for being president of your Rotary Club. That's a huge honor. And presidents are really the lifeblood of Rotary and Rotary clubs. But many people know about Rotary, perhaps from grandfathers or fathers who might have been members. And we've come a long way since that time. Rotary was founded in the early 20th century, and so we're over 100 years old, and Rotary is a member organization that is organized by clubs. And our primary mission is humanitarian service to other people in our communities and around the world. We are proactive people of action who create positive change in our communities and in the world.

Elizabeth Usovicz [00:04:13]:

And in the process of doing that, we are also creating positive change in ourselves. We're over 1.4 million people around the world who are proudly members of Rotary, and we welcome everyone to join us. So if you don't know about Rotary, you can go to the Rotary website, you can locate a club in your community, and they will welcome you to attend a meeting to get to know them and maybe become a member if it lines up with what's important to you. We'd love to have you.

Christopher Lewis [00:04:48]:

So, three years ago, the then Rotary International President and I should step back and say that every year there is a Rotary International President, that Rotary International President sets goals for themselves. And three years ago, one of the Rotary International President's goals was to focus on girls empowerment. Now, that's a broad topic. Can you talk to me about why that was an important topic for that International President and what girls empowerment truly means in the global context of Rotary?

Elizabeth Usovicz [00:05:26]:

Well, it's a big topic. It's a broad topic. And, yes, I'll start by saying that the President of Rotary is a member, a volunteer, an unpaid member of Rotary who is nominated to serve in that one year term. And it's very typical for a President to have specific initiatives for one year that are close to their hearts. Three years ago, actually, now

In this episode of the "Dads with Daughters" podcast, host Christopher Lewis emphasizes the importance of fathers supporting and guiding their daughters to become strong, independent women. He shares his own journey as a father of two daughters and his motivation behind creating this podcast - to learn from others and help dads navigate the challenges of fatherhood together.

Christopher introduces his guest, Rodney White, a father of three from Kansas, including two daughters. Rodney discusses his initial apprehension when he found out he was going to be a father to a daughter, particularly due to his lack of experience raising girls. However, he highlights the value of adapting and learning from the journey.

One of Rodney's biggest fears in raising a daughter is helping her navigate the challenges of the middle school years, where girls often face insecurity and peer pressure. He emphasizes the importance of building his daughter's self-confidence and self-worth through individual activities that challenge her and allow her to develop resilience.

Christopher and Rodney discuss the balance between work and family life, with Rodney expressing his commitment to making time for his kids despite potential career sacrifices. He shares how he prioritizes spending quality time with his daughters, supporting their interests, and being present in their lives.

They delve into the challenges of letting children fail and learn from their mistakes, which can be difficult for parents who want to protect them. Rodney acknowledges that allowing his daughter to experience consequences is essential for her growth and development.

The conversation also explores what it means to be a "girl dad." Rodney reflects on how being a father to a daughter involves setting an example, providing support, and helping her navigate a world that can sometimes be challenging for girls.

Rodney emphasizes the parallels between parenting and sports, particularly the importance of instilling a strong work ethic and teaching children to handle success and failure gracefully. He believes that these lessons from sports can translate into valuable life skills.

The episode concludes with a discussion of the joy that comes from hearing positive feedback about your children's behavior and character from others, reinforcing the importance of raising good people in a sometimes challenging world.

If you've enjoyed today's episode of the Dads With Daughters podcast, we invite you to check out theFatherhood Insider. The Fatherhood Insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual, and most are figuring it out as they go along. The Fatherhood Insider is full of valuable resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step-by-step roadmaps, and more you will engage and learn with experts but more importantly with dads like you. So check it out today!

TRANSCRIPT

Christopher Lewis [00:00:06]:

Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads resources and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast, where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughter's lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week, and as always, I love being on this journey with you. You know, I'm a father of two daughters and this podcast was created somewhat cathartically to be able to learn from all of you, but also to help you in this journey that you're on, because all of us are on an individual journey, but we don't have to be on this journey alone. We have so many other dads around us that have gone through this, that are going through this, and we can support each other and learn from each other. And that's what this podcast is all about. It's all about the fact that you don't have to do it alone.

Christopher Lewis [00:01:03]:

You don't have to go it alone. You can talk to people around you, but you can also listen to people and listen to their experiences, take things that work and incorporate them into your own lives. Every week I have a great opportunity to be able to sit down and talk to different guests, different dads that come from many different walks of life but are doing fatherhood in a little bit different way. And they are able to share with all of us the journey that they've been on, the things that have worked, maybe things that haven't worked, and help all of us to be able to do what we can do, to be able to be the best dads that we want to be and that we can be. This week, we've got another great guest with us. Rodney White is with us today and Rodney is from Kansas. He has three kids. He has two daughters and a son.And I'm really excited to be able to talk with him today, to have him here and to learn from his experiences. Rodney, thanks so much for being here today.

Rodney White

Yeah, thanks for having me. I really appreciate it. It's my pleasure having you here today.

Christopher Lewis

I love being able to talk to different dads, and one of the first things I love doing when I have these conversations is to turn the clock back in time. And I'm going to turn it back a few years back to that first moment, that first moment when you found out that you were going to be a father to a daughter. What was going through your head?

Rodney White [00:02:29]:

Well, to be quite honest with you, I'll never forget the day.And the reason why is because I was a father of a son first. And I say that because my son, which I love him to death, 15 years old at the time, was, I believe, three, maybe four at the time, and was a lot. Let's just say when my youngest daughter was born, she wasn't something that we had planned and so we were a little freaked out. The reason I say that is because my oldest daughter so I have three kids. My oldest daughter's 22. I adopted her when she was at the age of seven. So I never really had that first through seven years. And my son was a lot like I said, and he was a boy and he is a boy and he's just 100% boy and go, go.

Rodney White [00:03:03]:

And be honest with you, my wife and I were like, I don't know if we can do this. I don't know if we can survive a second one. Obviously being as young as we were and knowing what I know now, we were going to be okay. And we figured out but knowing that we were having a daughter, I didn't know what to think. And the reason I didn't know what to think is because the youngest of four boys, so I grew up with no sisters a mother, but my mother was more the father figure. She was the disciplinarian and all of that. So I was honestly I was freaked out because I didn't know what to do. And what I mean by that is hair right now she's twelve years old.

Rodney White [00:03:35]:

So I'm going through some changes there. All of those things were running through my head like I have no idea how to raise girl. And so yeah, freaked me out for a little bit and quickly just settled in and realized that it's a new opportunity and we were going to learn. So yeah, I mean, obviously excited but scared to death because I was the youngest of four boys and I had no idea what I was doing.

Christopher Lewis

Really understand that. I have heard that so many times from so many dads that you walk in and there's definitely some fear there. And I hear it a lot with the dads that I talk to that have daughters that there is some fear. What would you say has been your biggest fear in raising a daughter?

Rodney White

My biggest fear, to be quite honest with you, is now I really didn't have any fear with my youngest because it was so easy to be honest with you.And I say that not the girls are easy to raise, but I always say if we would have had her first, would have had 15 more. My biggest fear is probably right now she's going into the middle school world. And I have one that went to the high school world that didn't have the greatest experience in the world. And to be honest with you, just that world of insecurity that girls come into, not that guys don't and boys don't have it. That middle school world is just so brutal and I think it's so life changing. My biggest fear is navigating her through that to make sure she comes out with self confidence and makes the right decisions and all of those, but from zero to twelve, there was no fear. I mean, she's been awesome, but this has always been my fears getting to this age. And we're here right now.

Christopher Lewis [00:05:01]:

Talk to me about that, because like you said, you want to build her self confidence, you want to safeguard her as she's going through that middle school process. What have you or are you doing to be able to not only prepare yourself, but helping your daughter to prepare for the reality that is middle school?

Rodney White

Yeah, so really the only thing that I can say, I mean, I had a really good friend of mine that was an MMA and boxing coach, and sports has always been a passion of mine. That's where my foundation raises. And I had my son in boxing and just training, nothing crazy, wasn't actually participating in fights, but what I noticed and what my friend told me was individual sports. And I say sports because that's where the world I live into. It could be anything individual. If it's learn

In this episode of "Dads with Daughters," host Christopher Lewis welcomes Oggy Brewer, a biology teacher and father of four, to discuss the challenges and joys of being a father to daughters. Augie shares his personal journey and insights into building strong relationships with his daughters and fostering their self-esteem.

Oggy's initial surprise came when he thought he was having another son, only to discover he was going to be a father to a daughter. He reflects on the initial panic and uncertainty but emphasizes the importance of adapting and learning as a parent.

One of Oggy's biggest fears as a father of daughters is ensuring their self-esteem remains high. He discusses the delicate balance of being firm, supportive, and uplifting in their lives.

To build unique relationships with each daughter, Oggy emphasizes the significance of being present in their lives, connecting with their interests, and spending quality time with them. Whether it's playing basketball, taking drives, or simply being present, he believes that connecting with his daughters is an ongoing challenge but a crucial one.

Oggy shares memorable experiences with his daughters, including family trips to places like Glacier National Park and Dale Hollow Lake. These trips provide opportunities for bonding and creating lasting memories.

Balancing his role as a biology teacher and a father of four, Oggy discusses the importance of setting boundaries and making a commitment to be present with his family when he's home. He believes that being a positive example and showing hard work can also influence his children positively.

As daughters transition into their teenage years, Oggy acknowledges the changes and challenges in maintaining strong connections. He stresses the importance of continuous effort and being adaptable as a father.

Oggy delves into the concept of being a "girl dad" and highlights the significance of building positive relationships with daughters, fostering their self-esteem, and using powerful, uplifting words.

Augie introduces "MoPo for Life," a concept he developed during the COVID-19 pandemic. MoPo stands for "Max Out Payout," emphasizing the importance of identifying daily purposes and maximizing efforts to achieve them. Oggy has written a book titled "MoPo Max Out Payout: Living the MoPo Life, MoPo the Day," which encourages readers to reflect on their daily lives, set goals, and stay positive.

He also discusses how he challenges his own children to live the MoPo Life by helping them set goals and take actionable steps to achieve them, particularly in their academic pursuits.

Oggy extends the MoPo philosophy to his classroom, encouraging his students to identify their goals for the semester and holding them accountable. He believes that caring for students and helping them achieve their goals creates a positive impact.

Oggy shares his experiences of seeing kids embrace the MoPo message by wearing MoPo wristbands and actively engaging with the philosophy. He plans to expand his efforts by reaching out to sports teams and acting as a motivational speaker to spread the message further.

In conclusion, Oggy Brewer emphasizes the importance of connecting with others, like Christopher Lewis, to expand the reach of the MoPo philosophy and positively impact more lives.

If you've enjoyed today's episode of the Dads With Daughters podcast, we invite you to check out theFatherhood Insider. The Fatherhood Insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual, and most are figuring it out as they go along. The Fatherhood Insider is full of valuable resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step-by-step roadmaps, and more you will engage and learn with experts but more importantly with dads like you. So check it out today!

TRANSCRIPT

Christopher Lewis [00:00:06]:

Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads resources and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast, where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughter's lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. Every week, you and I are on a journey together. I say this all the time, but it truly is a journey. What you and I are doing to raise our daughters is something that happens day by day, and it's not something that we can always plan for. There's going to be highs, there's going to be lows, there's going to be everything in between.

Christopher Lewis [00:00:47]:

But that being said, there are things that we can do to make it a little bit better. And one of the best ways, one of the greatest things that I would say for all of us to do is to surround us with other men that are doing this. Now, you may not feel comfortable going to that next door neighbor and talking to them about the way that they're being a father, but I'm glad that you're here, because by you being here, you have an opportunity to learn every week, and you have an opportunity to be able to take things that you're learning and incorporate them into your own lives. That's why every week I love having different guests, different guests here with me to share their own experiences in their own journey that they're on in raising their kids. And this week, we got another great guest. Augie Brewer is with us today. Augie is a teacher, a biology teacher, actually, but also does something that we're going to be learning a little bit more about called MoPo for Life, and we're going to talk about that as well. But he's a father of four with two daughters and two sons, so I'm excited to be able to talk to him today for you to get to know him and for us to kind of delve a little bit deeper into his own journey. Oggy, thanks so much for joining us today.

Oggy Brewer [00:01:58]:

Well, thank you for having me. I really appreciate come on. And what you're doing and being able to connect with different guys and dads and how we're raising our daughters. I appreciate being on. So thank you. It's my pleasure. My pleasure.

Christopher Lewis [00:02:14]:

And one of the things that I love to do, first and foremost, I want to turn the clock back in time. Your oldest daughter is 15. I want to go all the way back, all the way back to that first moment when you found out that you're going to be a father to a daughter. What was going through your head? Well, it's funny you asked this question, because my oldest is a boy. I have a son that's 18. And when my wife was pregnant with Olivia, in my eyes, in my head, I really thought we were having another boy, and really all the way up till delivery. And the doctor, when she was delivered, it was by c section. And when she was delivered, the doctor says, looks like a boy, and I'm behind the curtain.

Oggy Brewer [00:02:51]:

And so in my head, this is boy number two. And then those words come out. It's a girl. And I'm telling you, I wasn't sure what to do. I was in a little panic mode of like, oh, my goodness, my world has just changed. And so just trying to understand, okay, I'm going to be a father to a daughter now. And all the emotions and all the things that get stirred up when you have that thought, and obviously not having a playbook for, okay, what am I doing now? So that's the story of when Olivia was born. I love you know, I talked to a lot of dads, and a lot of dads tell me that going into being a father to a daughter, there's some fear there's some fear that goes with that.

Christopher Lewis [00:03:37]:

What would you say has been your biggest fear or fears in raising daughters?

Oggy Brewer

Yeah, I think one fear is just wanting to build up their self esteem and not wanting to be a person that brings that down ever. And so having a fear that maybe something I say or the way I react could bring their self esteem down, and I do not want to do that. So it's that balance of being able to be stern, being able to be encouraging and uplifting them, and also continuing to build that relationship with them, to build up their self esteem. I said you had two daughters, and both of those daughters are very unique individuals, and they have their own personalities, and you have to build different relationships with each of them, that you have to do that with all your kids. Yeah. What have you done to be able to build those unique relationships with each of your daughters? Sure. I believe the first thing is being present, making sure each day they know that I'm present there. And I know we're talking about teenage daughters, and being in a state of a lot of times, they don't make you feel like they want your presence with them all the time, but just because they give that indication doesn't mean that's a free pass to not be present.

Christopher Lewis [00:04:57]:

And so being present every day with them, I'm a man of faith, and I pray with them daily. I think that's important, that they know that someone's praying for them and praying over them and then just connecting with them with the things they enjoy doing. One of my oldest daughters, she enjoys playing basketball, so if I can get out in the driveway and rebound for her, I'm connecting with her that way. My other daughter really enjoys taking drives in the car, and so maybe even though as high as gas prices are. Maybe just

ANNOUNCING FATHERING TOGETHER'S INTEGRATION WITH CITY DADS GROUP

Since it’s formation, Fathering Together has sought to collaborate, not compete with other organizations focused on healthy families and connected dads. So we were thrilled when City Dads Group reached out asking to integrate their organization with ours.

Starting in October, our organizations began onboarding their group leaders and figuring out a path forward where Fathering Together expands its virtual communities with the in-person meetups of City Dads Group. By joining forces, Fathering Together will offer support to over 150,000 dads world wide.

That’s 150,000 dads across more than 100 countries with in-person groups in the United States, Canada, Kenya, and Malawi. There are 41 official City Dads Groups across the United States and Canada with more on the way!

Here is thefull press release.

To find a City Dads Group near you,check out where we have groups!

If you don't see a group in your area,fill out this quick questionnaireto decide if it is right for you!

And if you still have questions, please reach out

In this episode of the "Dads with Daughters" podcast, host Christopher Lewis welcomes Jacob Taylor, also known as the Fairway Father, to discuss the journey of fatherhood and how to raise strong and independent daughters.

Christopher starts by emphasizing the importance of learning from fellow fathers and their diverse parenting approaches, highlighting that there's no single right way to be a dad. He introduces Jacob as the guest, a father of two girls, and expresses his excitement about their conversation.

Jacob shares his memorable moment of finding out he was going to be a father to a daughter during a C-section when he announced, "It's a girl." He describes the immediate and intense love he felt, a unique kind of love that he believes can't be experienced elsewhere.

Christopher reflects on his own experience of becoming a girl dad and the journey of raising his daughter, who is now a college freshman, and how time flies.

Jacob talks about cherishing everyday moments with his daughters, from engaging in their hobbies to answering their innocent and thought-provoking questions. He shares a touching memory of watching a sunset with his daughter and discussing the concept of God, which left a profound impact on him.

The conversation shifts to the fears associated with raising daughters. Jacob discusses his initial fear of not understanding how girls think or act due to growing up with all boys. He worried if his daughters would connect with him or prefer their mother. However, he soon realized the misconception, as his daughters developed unique personalities and strong bonds with him.

Jacob offers insights into building individual relationships with each daughter by adapting to their interests and personalities. He highlights the importance of spending one-on-one time with each child and adjusting the way he interacts with them based on their preferences.

Balancing various roles as a father is a challenge many dads face. Jacob emphasizes the need to make thoughtful decisions about hobbies and activities that align with healthy family values. He shares how he reconstructed his hobbies to include his children and create opportunities for shared experiences.

The term "girl dad" has gained popularity, partly thanks to Kobe Bryant, who celebrated his role as a father to daughters. Jacob discusses what it means to be a girl dad, emphasizing the responsibility of setting an example for how daughters should be treated by men. He advocates instilling self-worth, self-image, and the idea that being a girl brings unique opportunities and strengths.

Jacob's project, Fairway Father, is introduced as a platform to encourage fathers to involve their children in hobbies, particularly golf. He believes that golf teaches valuable life lessons such as resilience, dealing with imperfection, and maintaining integrity.

Jacob elaborates on the parallels between golf and life, citing examples of how both involve facing challenges, making mistakes, and learning to adapt. He emphasizes the importance of patience and integrity, values that golf instills and that can be applied to life.

Christopher shares his daughter's experience of joining the girls' golf team in high school and how the mental aspects of golf and teamwork can provide valuable life lessons. The discussion highlights the broader importance of getting kids involved in activities they enjoy.

The episode concludes with a reminder of the significance of actively engaging with children, fostering their interests, and being open to learning from them as they grow. Christopher and Jacob affirm that it's not just about sharing your own passions but also discovering and nurturing what makes your children unique.

The Fairway Father project aims to encourage fathers to bond with their children through golf and other shared activities, promoting not only quality time together but also valuable life lessons.

If you've enjoyed today's episode of the Dads With Daughters podcast, we invite you to check out theFatherhood Insider. The Fatherhood Insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual, and most are figuring it out as they go along. The Fatherhood Insider is full of valuable resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step-by-step roadmaps, and more you will engage and learn with experts but more importantly with dads like you. So check it out today!

TRANSCRIPT

Christopher Lewis [00:00:06]:

Welcome to dads with daughters.In this show, we spotlight dads resources.And more to help you be the best dad you can be.Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast, where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughter's lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. And as always, I love being able to be on this journey with you. Every week we have an opportunity to talk with one another, to walk with one another in this journey that we're on, to raise amazing girls into society today, helping them to be strong and independent, and helping them to find the success that we want for them in life. Now, I say that knowing that there's not one right way to do it. There are so many ways in which we can father. There's not one manual, but we can learn so much from the men that are around us, that are fathering in their own ways, who are learning from other fathers around them and learning from themselves as well. And we can learn from them.

Christopher Lewis [00:01:14]:

So every week, I love being able to bring you different guests, different people that are fathering in different ways that you can learn from, that you can take and be able to see what works, what doesn't work, and incorporate some of those things into your own lives. Today we've got another great guest with us. Jacob Taylor is with us, and Jacob is known as the Fairway Father. We're going to talk about what that is here today, but he's a father of two girls, and we're going to be talking about that as well, of course. And I'm just really excited to have him here today. Jacob, thanks so much for joining me.

Jacob Taylor [00:01:53]:

Oh, thank you for having me. I'm excited.

Christopher Lewis [00:01:55]:

I am excited to be able to have you here to talk to you about the journey that you're on. And one of the first things that I love doing is I love turning the clock back in time. So I'm going to go all the way back to that first moment when you found out that you were going to be a father to a daughter. What was going through your head?

Jacob Taylor [00:02:08]:

Oh, man. So we actually kind of went a nontraditional route and decided not to find out what we were having. And so the moment that I found out was actually in the operating room, we had a C section, and I actually got to announce to the operating room, it's a girl, and just soaking that all in with the realization of, like, this is real. I am a dad. This is my little girl. It was just incredible. I always tell people it's a type of love that you can experience anywhere else because it is an immediate, intense, full on love. Other relationships, you fall in love, you get to know them, but as soon as you see that little face.

Jacob Taylor [00:02:52]:

It is, I am all in. I will do anything for you no matter what. And it's only gotten better from them as well, which is just amazing to even say out loud and comprehend that.

Christopher Lewis [00:03:05]:

I'm smiling because of the fact that your journey in the start was very similar to mine, because we didn't find out as well. And we ended up in the emergency room doing a C section. And I got to say, the doctor is like, tell us what the gender is. So I'm looking and I'm like, oh, it's a girl.

Jacob Taylor [00:03:25]:

Yes.

Christopher Lewis [00:03:26]:

So, yes, I remember that very vividly. And that daughter is now a freshman in college, and the time goes by very fast. And as you said, for you, it's gotten better along the way. And your daughters are still young, but you've had those experiences, you've had those memories that you've been sharing with them so far. What would you say has been your most memorable experience that you've been able to share with them thus far as a dad?

Jacob Taylor [00:03:51]:

I think just having them involved in the day to day life, the hobbies, and just some of their questions that they ask at times, just the innocence and their questions kind of makes me stop and think through things I've never thought through before and just experience sunset differently. Probably one of my most cherished memories was watching a sunset with my daughter, and she was sitting there looking all around and asked me, did God make all of this too? And just seeing that go through her mind and getting to have that conversation with her was one of my favorite memories I think I'll cherish forever and has just again changed my outlook on every sunset, which is pretty cool.

Christopher Lewis [00:04:37]:

It's cool. And I think in becoming a father and becoming a father of daughters, there's some fear that also comes in there. I talked to lots of dads, and there's fear that comes with that. And it's not just fathers of daughters, b

In this episode of "Dads with Daughters," host Christopher Lewis explores the experiences of being a father to daughters with guest Craig Bennett, a high school football coach. The episode delves into various aspects of fatherhood and raising daughters, offering valuable insights and personal anecdotes.

Christopher Lewis introduces the podcast as a platform dedicated to spotlighting resources and insights for dads striving to be the best fathers they can be. He emphasizes the importance of learning from one another, challenging the misconception that fatherhood must be a solitary journey.

Craig Bennett, a father of two daughters and a high school football coach in Georgia, joins the podcast to share his experiences and wisdom.

The conversation begins with a reflection on the moment Craig learned he was going to be a father to a daughter. He expresses his elation at the gift of having a daughter and discusses how gender wasn't a determining factor for him; he simply wanted a healthy child.

Christopher asks Craig about his fears in raising daughters, and Craig candidly admits that his main fear was being too hard on them due to his upbringing in a rough and tough environment. He shares a transformative moment when he realized he needed to separate his frustrations from his role as a father to protect his daughter from unnecessary emotional baggage.

The discussion turns to the uniqueness of each daughter's personality and the importance of building unique relationships with each child. Craig emphasizes the significance of understanding and accepting their differences rather than trying to mold them into a specific image.

When asked about his favorite activities to share with his daughters, Craig emphasizes that it's the time spent together that matters most, regardless of the activity. He mentions his commitment to spending quality time with his daughters, considering his demanding role as a high school football coach.

Craig talks about the challenges of parenting daughters during their middle school years, highlighting the emotional struggles and societal pressures they face. He underscores the importance of being there to support and guide them during this transformative phase.

The conversation shifts to the topic of work-life balance, a challenge for Craig given his role as a head football coach. He discusses his efforts to compartmentalize work and home life, prioritizing time spent with his family and setting boundaries to avoid bringing work-related stress home.

The podcast explores the concept of being a "girl dad," with Craig expressing immense pride in the unique bond he shares with his daughters. He shares the inspiring story of his daughter's journey to becoming a kicker for Valdosta State's NCAA football team, breaking barriers and pursuing her passion despite challenges.

Craig also reflects on a crucial lesson he learned while coaching girls' basketball, acknowledging that he was overly critical of his daughter instead of enjoying watching her play. He advises fathers to avoid pushing their children too hard in sports and to let them enjoy the experience.

The episode concludes with Craig's daughter returning to his coaching team, offering an opportunity for a renewed bond and shared experiences.

Throughout the episode, Craig Bennett's experiences and insights provide valuable guidance for fathers on their journey of raising strong, independent daughters. The importance of embracing individuality, spending quality time, and being supportive is at the heart of this inspiring conversation.

If you've enjoyed today's episode of the Dads With Daughters podcast, we invite you to check out the Fatherhood Insider . The Fatherhood Insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual, and most are figuring it out as they go along. The Fatherhood Insider is full of valuable resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step-by-step roadmaps, and more you will engage and learn with experts but more importantly with dads like you. So check it out today!

TRANSCRIPT

Christopher Lewis [00:00:06]:

Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads resources and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:

Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast, where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughter's lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. Every week, you and I are on a journey together. We have an opportunity to sit down together, to talk and to learn and grow from every dad that I talk to on the show. And the reason for that is that being a dad doesn't have to be a solitary thing. And so many dads that I've talked to over the years talk about the misunderstanding, the misconception, the kind of societal norms that sometimes make you think that you have to go it alone, that you have to man up, that you have to do all these things to figure it out for yourself. And that's really not the case. There are so many dads that are around you.

Christopher Lewis [00:01:09]:

There are so many dads that are doing the fatherhood thing, and you can learn so many things from them. So every week I love being able to talk with you, but also to bring you dads that are fathering in different ways, that have learned different things, both positive and maybe negative, that can help you along the journey that you are on as well. And that's an important thing because all of us need to understand that we're going to make mistakes along the way. All of us need to understand that we can ask for help. And even if you're not willing to ask for help, you can listen, you can learn, and you can find some new tools that you can add to your toolbox that will help you to be that dad you want to be this week. We've got another great dad joining us today. Craig Bennett is with us and Craig is a main head football coach down in Georgia, and we are going to be talking about his journey as a father of two daughters and learn a little bit more about him and about the experiences that he's had. And I'm really excited to have him here.

Christopher Lewis [00:02:20]:

Craig, thanks so much for joining us.

Craig Bennett [00:02:22]:

Thank you so much for having me. It's definitely an honor.

Christopher Lewis [00:02:25]:

My pleasure having you here today. One of the first things I love doing is I like to turn the clock back in time. And I know you've got two daughters. I'd love to turn the clock all the way back, all the way back to that first moment when you found out that you were going to be a dad to a daughter. What was going through your head?

Craig Bennett [00:02:39]:

Amazing. Just the guy would bless me with such a gift. And I had a brother and there was no daughters in our family, and so he had already had two daughters. My brother and so this was going to be the third granddaughter on our side of the family. So your typical response was, you're a football coach, you had a brother, don't you want a boy? And I said no. I really didn't. I did not care. And when it was a girl, I was elated.

Christopher Lewis [00:03:08]:

So like you just said, someone asked you, you don't want a boy? And you said, Nah, you didn't matter. It didn't matter to you. For you, why didn't it matter?

Craig Bennett [00:03:19]:

Mostly just because I just wanted a healthy child. I mean, that was a blessing from God. It didn't matter to me, boy or girl, didn't matter.

Christopher Lewis [00:03:29]:

So a lot of dads that I talked to talk to me about that when walking into fatherhood, but also walking into being a father of a daughter, that there's a little bit of fear that goes in there. Maybe there's a lot of fear, but there's some fear that definitely is there. What would you say was your biggest fear in raising daughters?

Craig Bennett [00:03:46]:

Probably being too hard on them. Honestly, just growing up on a farm and growing up, my brother, myself, both had opportunity to play college football. And so you had this rough and tough and macho world that we grew up in and just making sure that I was doing the right thing and doing right for her and to her and all of that, unpack that a.

Christopher Lewis [00:04:10]:

Little bit for me. So what did you have to do to be able to, as you said, not be too hard and to kind of maybe soften the outer shell a little bit that you might not have typically done well?

Craig Bennett [00:04:23]:

And I'll tell you, it really goes back to a moment in time, and not necessarily when she was born. We were in a playoff game and still was a young coach and still very immature. And it's very immature as a dad as well. And when you lose a game, you tend to bring that loss home and nobody wants to be around you. And I remember distinctly we lost a playoff game and my daughter, she was a little over one years old, and she comes running up to me and I'm mad and I'm frustrated that we lost. And she has her arms wide open and it hit me really like a ton of bricks that she doesn't care if we win or lose this game or not and why should I let my emotions impact her? And so that mom

In this episode of the "Dads with Daughters" podcast, host Christopher Lewis discusses fatherhood, blended families, and raising daughters with guest Ryan Ottinger. They delve into various aspects of parenting and the unique challenges and rewards of being a "girl dad."

Christopher emphasizes the importance of understanding that fatherhood is a journey with its ups and downs, and it's crucial not to go through it alone. He highlights the value of learning from other dads and sharing experiences to become the best possible fathers to their daughters.

Ryan, a father of two biological children and three stepchildren, discusses the challenges and joys of blending families. He emphasizes the significance of setting a positive example as a male role model and ensuring a strong family-oriented upbringing. Ryan shares his experiences coaching his children in sports, emphasizing the importance of being present and involved in their lives.

The conversation touches on finding a balance between work and family life. Ryan talks about how having a flexible job with a short commute allowed him to be present for his children and attend their events, reinforcing the importance of making time for family.

Ryan and Christopher discuss the unique relationships they have with their children and the importance of recognizing and nurturing each child's interests and passions. They stress the value of quality one-on-one time with each child, tailoring their parenting approach to each child's needs.

The episode also explores the concept of being a "girl dad" and what it means to take pride in raising strong, independent daughters. Both hosts express their deep pride in their daughters' accomplishments and the fulfillment that comes with guiding them towards successful futures.

In the final segment, they touch on the emotional journey of leaving a child at college and the bittersweet transition as children grow and gain independence. Christopher emphasizes the importance of preparing children for adulthood and celebrating their readiness for the next chapter.

Overall, the episode provides valuable insights into fatherhood, blended families, and the joys and challenges of raising daughters, highlighting the significance of being present, supportive, and nurturing as fathers.

If you've enjoyed today's episode of the Dads With Daughters podcast, we invite you to check out theFatherhood Insider. The Fatherhood Insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual, and most are figuring it out as they go along. The Fatherhood Insider is full of valuable resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step-by-step roadmaps, and more you will engage and learn with experts but more importantly with dads like you. So check it out today!

TRANSCRIPT

Christopher Lewis [00:00:06]:

Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads resources and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast, where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughter's lives, raising them to be strong, independent women in really excited to have you back again this week. As always, you and I are on a journey together. We are working together to try to figure this fatherhood thing out. It's not always an easy thing, not always simple. We go through ups and downs and there's always going to be that in the lives of our daughters, but also the lives that we have. And we have to be able to understand and know how to ride that roller coaster as it goes on.

Christopher Lewis [00:00:57]:

Now, that being said, we don't have to do this alone. And it's so important for you to understand that you're not alone in this journey. And whether you're comfortable talking to that neighbor of yours that has kids or not, we're still here. And I love being able to talk to you every week and to bring you resources and other dads that are doing fatherhood in different ways because you can learn from every father that comes on this show to help you to be the best dad that you can be. This week, we got another great guest with us. Ryan Odinger is with us today, and Ryan is a father of two biological kids and step kids, so he has a blended family, so we'll be talking a little bit about that, but we'll also be talking a little bit about a few other things and learn a little bit more about him and about the experiences that he's had. And I'm really excited to have him here. Thanks so much for joining us.

Ryan Ottinger [00:01:59]:

Thanks for having me. My pleasure. Having you here today. One of the first things I love doing is I like to turn the clock back in time. And I know you've got two daughters. I'd love to turn the clock all the way back, all the way back to that first moment when you found out that you were going to be a dad to a daughter. What was going through your head? Amazing. I've never been more terrified.

Ryan Ottinger [00:02:17]:

Being a dad of a daughter is the longest roller coaster of joy and fear that you could be on in a great way in all aspects, but I knew how to be a boy and I knew how to be a man, but I didn't have any idea what to do with a little girl. And I was scared to death. But it turned out to be one of, if not the most rewarding experiences of my life. Fatherhood is a rewarding experience and definitely can be fearful as well. There's fear in not only having kids in general, but I talk to a lot of dads and a lot of dads say that there is fear that goes along with being a father to a daughter. What would you say has been your biggest fear in raising a daughter? My biggest fear is just as she moves forward. She's a freshman in college now. I've always tried to set an example of what a male role model should be in her life.

Ryan Ottinger [00:03:14]:

Whether it will be a teacher, a coach, future employer, husband, whatever the case may be that they should have a positive impact in her life. And I try to lead by example on that. I don't always get it right. That's part of parenting. If I could turn back the clock, there's probably a few things I would do different. But overall, she's amazing and I may take a tiny bit of credit for that, but she's been just a joy to father and she's made it easy. Our relationship has been nothing but friendship the entire time. We were best friends, always did stuff together.

Ryan Ottinger [00:03:53]:

I included her in my stuff, which I think is huge, and then also I wanted to be included in her stuff. We would take her when she was little to the mall and get makeovers and stuff like that, just her and I. And I think that's huge too. It has to be a partnership. It can't just be all that dad wants to do and sit and watch football or go fishing or whatever. But it doesn't always have to be all makeup and whatever she was into. We just kind of tried to find a good mix of what we both enjoyed and it worked out fantastic. I think it's important to be able to find those things that not only your child is passionate about, but you're passionate about too, that you can, as you said, kind of share both together.

Christopher Lewis [00:04:35]:

As you think about the relationship that you have with your daughter, what would you say is the thing that you love to share most with your daughter? I think that what I'm most proud about is just the person that she has turned out to be. She is all the good that I wanted her to be with very little, if any, of a negative as far as just being a good person, being a valuable member of society, being a good friend. And she loves family, which is a value that I've tried to instill. She makes time for us, she makes time for her cousins, step brothers and sisters, her brother. She's just always available and she puts family first. And I think that if I've taught her anything, that is probably what I'm the most proud of, is the fact that she is very family oriented. And I think she may be the type of girl who just once she spreads her wings after college, she may never come back to live in her hometown. But I think that we've dug enough roots that she will always value family and where she came from.

Ryan Ottinger [00:05:39]:

That's the only thing that we can do. And I have a daughter that's just like that. You and I both have freshmen in colleges, are in college. And I know that I don't believe that she will move back anywhere near where we are and she will spread her wings and fly and do amazing things in her life. But the thing that I hope too, is that she will always have those roots, always have the family to be able to draw from, no matter where she is, whether it's in Michigan, in Washington, DC. In the United States, or somewhere else. So I think that's all we can do as fathers, as parents, is to plant those seeds along the way and try to hope that they take root, as you said, because that will help them to only be more successful as they grow. Now, as we raise our children, there are times where you have opportunities to build really strong, memorable experiences, to have to build those memories with our children.

Christopher Lewis [00:06:50]:

What would you say has been the most memorable experience that you've been able to have thus far as a father to a daughter? I would say being able to coach her in athletics. She is in high school and all thr

In this episode of "Dads with Daughters," host Christopher Lewis welcomes guest Alexandra Wyman to discuss the challenging topic of suicide and how to navigate the aftermath. The episode focuses on providing support and resources for individuals dealing with the loss of a loved one to suicide.

Christopher introduces Alexandra Wyman, an advocate and public speaker who experienced the loss of her husband to suicide in August 2020. She shares her journey and the inspiration behind her book, "The Suicide Club: What to Do When Someone You Love Chooses Death."

Alexandra recounts her life before her husband's suicide, emphasizing societal expectations of a successful life and family. She details her personal journey of meeting her husband, getting married, and having a child, which led her to believe she had achieved a successful life.

However, four days before their second wedding anniversary, her husband took his life, leaving her in shock and disbelief. Alexandra discusses her initial struggles, including the lack of consistent support and the need to make immediate decisions. She explains that during the early stages of her grief, she began documenting her experiences, emotional states, and any helpful strategies she discovered.

The conversation transitions to addressing the guilt and self-blame that survivors of suicide often experience. Alexandra emphasizes that it's challenging to predict or prevent suicide, emphasizing the importance of spreading love and checking in on loved ones who may be struggling emotionally.

Christopher inquires about how to support individuals affected by suicide from an outsider's perspective. Alexandra recommends being present for them and offering specific help rather than asking them what they need. She also highlights the significance of ongoing support beyond the initial shock period when most people tend to withdraw.

They discuss the complexities of explaining suicide to children and how to approach age-appropriate conversations about the topic. Alexandra emphasizes the importance of honesty and using concrete language when discussing suicide with children.

Alexandra mentions various tools and coping strategies she has relied on during her grief journey. These include therapy, journaling, meditation, exercise, reaching out to friends, and seeking information from blogs and books on death and grief.

The episode concludes with Alexandra's message of hope and resilience, encouraging those who have experienced suicide loss to keep moving forward and find meaning and purpose in life. She underscores the importance of anchoring to something meaningful as a source of strength.

Christopher mentions the significance of the "988" suicide and crisis lifeline, urging anyone in need to reach out for help.

Alexandra provides her website, Forwardtojoy.com, as a valuable resource for additional support, coaching, and information about her book, "The Suicide Club."

The episode offers valuable insights, resources, and guidance for individuals dealing with suicide loss, as well as those seeking to support loved ones through this difficult journey.

If you've enjoyed today's episode of the Dads With Daughters podcast, we invite you to check out theFatherhood Insider. The Fatherhood Insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual, and most are figuring it out as they go along. The Fatherhood Insider is full of valuable resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step-by-step roadmaps, and more you will engage and learn with experts but more importantly with dads like you. So check it out today!

TRANSCRIPT

Christopher Lewis [00:00:06]:

Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight Dads resources and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Hey, everyone, this is Chris, and welcome to Dads with Daughters, where we bring you guests to help you be active participants in your daughter's lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. As you know, every week we are chatting together about how you can raise amazing daughters in your lives to help them be strong, independent women. And every week I love being able to chat with you about the journey that you're on and help you to learn from others. This week we've got a really great guest with us and I'm so excited that she was willing to join us today. We're going to be talking about a topic that is a little bit tougher. We're going to be talking about suicide and coming out on the other side of suicide.

Christopher Lewis [00:01:02]:

But it's important. It's an important topic and it's hopefully a topic that you may not have to deal with in your life, but it's important to understand what to do in these situations. So our guest today is Alexandra Wyman, and she is an advocate and public speaker for resources in the aftermath of suicide. After she lost her husband to suicide in August of 2020, she found a need to change the language around suicide and decided to write about it. She wrote a memoir called The Suicide Club. What to Do When Someone You love Chooses death. And you can find it on Amazon. I'm going to put a link in the notes today for you to be able to find that.

Christopher Lewis [00:01:46]:

She's spoken at many conferences about this and really worked to try to help others to understand this. So I'm really excited to be able to talk to her today, to be able to learn from her and have you learn from her and the journey that she's been on. Alexandra, thanks so much for being here today.

Alexandra Wyman [00:02:04]:

Oh, Chris, thank you so much for having me. It's such a pleasure to be able to speak with you today.

Christopher Lewis [00:02:09]:

It is my pleasure having you here today. And I guess let's start at the beginning because this as I said, it's not an easy topic to talk about. But talk to me about what led you to this book and the situation that ended up bringing you to being the person that you are now and talking to people and helping people through suicide.

Alexandra Wyman [00:02:33]:

Yeah, well, yeah, that's kind of a loaded intro there. I don't want to take up too much of your time on that, but I'll start with that. Coming out of college, I kind of bought into that idea with a successful life being. You meet a partner, you get married, you find your house, your white picket fence, you get your 2.5 children, your 1.5 dogs, you know the deal. And you get into a career, you stay there forever and then you retire, go travel, and then watch your kids and grandkids grow. That is so not how things went for me. So getting out of college, I just wasn't sure what I wanted to do. Had studied pre law, decided that wasn't the direction that was right for me.

Alexandra Wyman [00:03:12]:

Traveled a bit, did not have a partner house nor children, and then just continued on. Eventually did get my master's in occupational therapy and was getting pretty comfortable in the single life in my 30s when I met Sean. And it was happenstance I had sworn off, I was like, I'm over this. I'm not doing this anymore. And of course, that's always when the person comes into your life. And we had a very strong connection, just really hit it off. And being a little bit older, decided we didn't want to mess with all the niceties. Sometimes that comes with dating and getting to know each other.

Alexandra Wyman [00:03:47]:

So within about a year after meeting each other, we got married, bought that house, and found out that I was pregnant. And finally I thought oh, okay. It took me a little bit longer than other people I know, but let me check off that list of what this successful life looks like. And both of us were in our successful careers, and life looked great. And nothing is ever perfect, let me say that. There's nothing perfect about our marriage or our relationship. Like, there isn't really in any relationship. And then four days before our second wedding anniversary, sean ended up taking his life.

Alexandra Wyman [00:04:20]:

And talk about rug being pulled out from underneath you and looking at this going, Wait, I thought I got there right? I got to the successful life. What do you mean now he's dead. This is not how things are supposed to go. And then in addition to that, so not only is there massive grief, our son was just over one when Sean passed. And then there's some complications with trauma and additional drama from other individuals involved in the situation and trying to sort through all of that. And I kept finding that even initially, within even that first four to six weeks, where I just was like, what are the tools I can use for this? And I found that it's very inconsistent, the support that's available to individuals and survivors. And so in my particular personal situation, I was told there'd be an advocate from the county who would come and support me. And I had one conversation with that person and never heard again from the county.

Alexandra Wyman [00:05:11]:

So there's so much that has to happen. And often we say, don't make any decisions in that first year, and you have to make decisions immediately. Like day zero, I had to make decisions. So I started jotting down notes of things that I found helpful or didn't find helpfu