Harmony Deconstructed Podcast

“He who everyday is not conquering some fear, has not learnt the secret of life” Ralph Waldo Emerson

As human beings, we face fear on a daily basis, whether that be real or imaginary fear. It is part of the human condition. So for us to make progress, we must learn to deal with fear correctly and master it. If fear is left unchecked, it can have a debilitating effect on us, hampering us from making progress towards our goals. However, if we learn to deal with it correctly, it can enable us not only to survive, but to thrive. So for us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should gain and sharpen the quality or character of dealing with fear appropriately to ensure we thrive in whatever activities we engage in. 

We need to find ways of understanding the fear that assails us and learn how to react or how to deal with it. As the Russian proverb says “fear the goat from the front, the horse from the rear, and man from all sides”, we cannot deal with the objects or sources of our fear the same way. 

“He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat” Napoleon Bonaparte

It is therefore important that we understand fear. Some scholars have put together categories of fear. 

There are three basic types of fear. Rational fear, primal fear and irrational fear.

Rational fear - this happens when there is real, actual or imminent danger. For instance when someone brandishes a gun at you or you fall and slide towards a cliff or the edge of a roof on a tall building. 

Primal fear -  this is natural fear, it is fear that is programmed into our brains. It comes with the package if you may. It is such fear as fear of other creatures like snakes, scorpions, spiders etc. It helps us survive by ensuring we stay away from such creatures that can kill us. 

Irrational fear - these are fears that do not make logical sense. They vary from person to person. These are fears such as the fear of shadows, fear of clowns, fear of falling asleep, fear of bathing. 

Dr Karl Albrecht has described 5 categories of fear out of which he says all other fears come from or fall into as follows: 

1. Extinction—the fear of annihilation, of ceasing to exist. This is a more fundamental way to express it than just "fear of death" The idea of no longer being arouses a primary existential anxiety in all normal humans. Consider that panicky feeling you get when you look over the edge of a high building.
2. Mutilation—the fear of losing any part of our precious bodily structure; the thought of having our body's boundaries invaded, or of losing the integrity of any organ, body part, or natural function. Anxiety about animals, such as bugs, spiders, snakes, and other creepy things arises from fear of mutilation.
3. Loss of Autonomy—the fear of being immobilized, paralyzed, restricted, enveloped, overwhelmed, entrapped, imprisoned, smothered, or otherwise controlled by circumstances beyond our control. In physical form, it's commonly known as claustrophobia, but it also extends to our social interactions and relationships.
4. Separation—the fear of abandonment, rejection, and loss of connectedness; of becoming a non-person—not wanted, respected, or valued by anyone else. The "silent treatment," when imposed by a group, can have a devastating effect on its target.
5. Ego-death—the fear of humiliation, shame, or any other mechanism of profound self-disapproval that threatens the loss of integrity of the self; the fear of the shattering or disintegration of one's constructed sense of lovability, capability, and worthiness.

Dr. Albrecht says that “When we let go of our notion of fear as the welling up of evil forces within us and begin to see fear and its

“He who everyday is not conquering some fear, has not learnt the secret of life” Ralph Waldo Emerson

As human beings, we face fear on a daily basis, whether that be real or imaginary fear. It is part of the human condition. So for us to make progress, we must learn to deal with fear correctly and master it. If fear is left unchecked, it can have a debilitating effect on us, hampering us from making progress towards our goals. However, if we learn to deal with it correctly, it can enable us not only to survive, but to thrive. So for us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should gain and sharpen the quality or character of dealing with fear appropriately to ensure we thrive in whatever activities we engage in. 

We need to find ways of understanding the fear that assails us and learn how to react or how to deal with it. As the Russian proverb says “fear the goat from the front, the horse from the rear, and man from all sides”, we cannot deal with the objects or sources of our fear the same way. 

“He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat” Napoleon Bonaparte

It is therefore important that we understand fear. Some scholars have put together categories of fear. 

There are three basic types of fear. Rational fear, primal fear and irrational fear.

Rational fear - this happens when there is real, actual or imminent danger. For instance when someone brandishes a gun at you or you fall and slide towards a cliff or the edge of a roof on a tall building. 

Primal fear -  this is natural fear, it is fear that is programmed into our brains. It comes with the package if you may. It is such fear as fear of other creatures like snakes, scorpions, spiders etc. It helps us survive by ensuring we stay away from such creatures that can kill us. 

Irrational fear - these are fears that do not make logical sense. They vary from person to person. These are fears such as the fear of shadows, fear of clowns, fear of falling asleep, fear of bathing. 

Dr Karl Albrecht has described 5 categories of fear out of which he says all other fears come from or fall into as follows: 

1. Extinction—the fear of annihilation, of ceasing to exist. This is a more fundamental way to express it than just "fear of death" The idea of no longer being arouses a primary existential anxiety in all normal humans. Consider that panicky feeling you get when you look over the edge of a high building.
2. Mutilation—the fear of losing any part of our precious bodily structure; the thought of having our body's boundaries invaded, or of losing the integrity of any organ, body part, or natural function. Anxiety about animals, such as bugs, spiders, snakes, and other creepy things arises from fear of mutilation.
3. Loss of Autonomy—the fear of being immobilized, paralyzed, restricted, enveloped, overwhelmed, entrapped, imprisoned, smothered, or otherwise controlled by circumstances beyond our control. In physical form, it's commonly known as claustrophobia, but it also extends to our social interactions and relationships.
4. Separation—the fear of abandonment, rejection, and loss of connectedness; of becoming a non-person—not wanted, respected, or valued by anyone else. The "silent treatment," when imposed by a group, can have a devastating effect on its target.
5. Ego-death—the fear of humiliation, shame, or any other mechanism of profound self-disapproval that threatens the loss of integrity of the self; the fear of the shattering or disintegration of one's constructed sense of lovability, capability, and worthiness.

Dr. Albrecht says that “When we let go of our notion of fear as the welling up of evil forces within us and begin to see fear and its

“Smooth seas make no skillful sailors” African proverb

Failure is an illusion because we make a big deal out of it. It is a natural thing that happens to all human beings. No one born of a woman has never failed. Yet we make failure more than it should be, it is a way of learning how not to do something, yet we turn it into a labeling venture. “He is a failure” “I am a failure” “She is a failure”. This should not be. We also look at people who are successful in life and label them “he is a success, she is a success”. It is important to recognize both failure and success, however, we make an error in assigning ourselves or others labels based on these two titles. You see if you accept the label of a failure, then there is no point in trying. It becomes a self-fulfilling label. I think these two exist together in some way. Each person with a successful story, has had numerous failures before achieving the success. 

For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should view failure for what it is, a feedback mechanism, to tell us whether we are on the right path or not period. It is not a label. 

I think if you examine the life of most if not all highly successful people, you will discover that they have endured a lot of failure in their life as well. They have learnt to take important lessons from their failures so that they can improve and increase the chances of attaining their goals. Famous people like Abraham Lincoln, Walt Disney, Michael Jordan, Mohammed Ali, George Foreman, Steve Jobs, Nelson Mandela, Albert Einstein, Oprah Winfrey and the list goes on and on, they all have had to endure failures to get to success in their endeavours.

“Smooth seas make no skillful sailors” African proverb

Failure is an illusion because we make a big deal out of it. It is a natural thing that happens to all human beings. No one born of a woman has never failed. Yet we make failure more than it should be, it is a way of learning how not to do something, yet we turn it into a labeling venture. “He is a failure” “I am a failure” “She is a failure”. This should not be. We also look at people who are successful in life and label them “he is a success, she is a success”. It is important to recognize both failure and success, however, we make an error in assigning ourselves or others labels based on these two titles. You see if you accept the label of a failure, then there is no point in trying. It becomes a self-fulfilling label. I think these two exist together in some way. Each person with a successful story, has had numerous failures before achieving the success. 

For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should view failure for what it is, a feedback mechanism, to tell us whether we are on the right path or not period. It is not a label. 

I think if you examine the life of most if not all highly successful people, you will discover that they have endured a lot of failure in their life as well. They have learnt to take important lessons from their failures so that they can improve and increase the chances of attaining their goals. Famous people like Abraham Lincoln, Walt Disney, Michael Jordan, Mohammed Ali, George Foreman, Steve Jobs, Nelson Mandela, Albert Einstein, Oprah Winfrey and the list goes on and on, they all have had to endure failures to get to success in their endeavours.

“Imagination is the soil that brings dreams to life.” Anonymous

Imagination is a crucial part of the human experience. Our Creator endowed us with the capability to imagine. Some authors like Dr. Maxwell Maltz have made assertions that imagination is the quality that differentiates human beings from animals. He wrote the following in the book Psycho Cybernetics:

“We often overlook the fact that man too has a success instinct, much more marvelous and much more complex than that of any animal. Our Creator did not short-change man. On the other hand, man was exceptionally blessed in this regard. Animals cannot select their goals. Their goals (self-preservation and procreation) are pre-set, so to speak. And their success mechanism is limited to these built-in goal images, which we call "instincts."”  Thinking about this, I wonder what goes on in a lion’s mind as it is chasing a Zebra or what goes on in a Zebra’s mind as a Lion is chasing it. Do they both think of the outcome of the chase? Survival or perishing? It may be difficult to figure this out. 

Dr. Maltz continues as follows “Man, on the other hand, has something animals haven't —Creative Imagination. Thus man of all creatures is more than a creature, he is also a creator. With his imagination he can formulate a variety of goals.Man alone can direct his Success Mechanism by the use of imagination, or imaging ability.”

Imagination, just like any other attribute, tool or goods available to human beings, can be beneficial or harmful, depending on how it is used. You can use imagination to aid you in achieving the creative goals you are pursuing. However, imagination can be harmful if we use it to overly dwell in things such as fear, worry, anxiety, jealousy, envy, bitterness and the likes that can well up in us. 

For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should use imagination in pursuing our creative goals. The way we can do this is to imagine the result of our goal as it would be when it is accomplished. To see in our minds eye the goal fulfilled and experience all the joy, exhilaration and confidence it gives us having accomplished the goal. This is in keeping with what Jesus said in Mark 11:24 “I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.” Once you capture that mood of how you would feel once your goal is accomplished, then carry on with your current endeavours with that mood. This may be difficult to do initially, but as with anything, with practice, it becomes better. 

“Imagination is the soil that brings dreams to life.” Anonymous

Imagination is a crucial part of the human experience. Our Creator endowed us with the capability to imagine. Some authors like Dr. Maxwell Maltz have made assertions that imagination is the quality that differentiates human beings from animals. He wrote the following in the book Psycho Cybernetics:

“We often overlook the fact that man too has a success instinct, much more marvelous and much more complex than that of any animal. Our Creator did not short-change man. On the other hand, man was exceptionally blessed in this regard. Animals cannot select their goals. Their goals (self-preservation and procreation) are pre-set, so to speak. And their success mechanism is limited to these built-in goal images, which we call "instincts."”  Thinking about this, I wonder what goes on in a lion’s mind as it is chasing a Zebra or what goes on in a Zebra’s mind as a Lion is chasing it. Do they both think of the outcome of the chase? Survival or perishing? It may be difficult to figure this out. 

Dr. Maltz continues as follows “Man, on the other hand, has something animals haven't —Creative Imagination. Thus man of all creatures is more than a creature, he is also a creator. With his imagination he can formulate a variety of goals.Man alone can direct his Success Mechanism by the use of imagination, or imaging ability.”

Imagination, just like any other attribute, tool or goods available to human beings, can be beneficial or harmful, depending on how it is used. You can use imagination to aid you in achieving the creative goals you are pursuing. However, imagination can be harmful if we use it to overly dwell in things such as fear, worry, anxiety, jealousy, envy, bitterness and the likes that can well up in us. 

For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should use imagination in pursuing our creative goals. The way we can do this is to imagine the result of our goal as it would be when it is accomplished. To see in our minds eye the goal fulfilled and experience all the joy, exhilaration and confidence it gives us having accomplished the goal. This is in keeping with what Jesus said in Mark 11:24 “I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.” Once you capture that mood of how you would feel once your goal is accomplished, then carry on with your current endeavours with that mood. This may be difficult to do initially, but as with anything, with practice, it becomes better. 

“When a tree’s shadow is bent, straighten the tree, not the shadow” African proverb

This proverb shows that when seeking to change something, the better strategy is to go at the core of the problem or issue. In human beings, to deal with issues visible on the outside, the best strategy is to change from within. When the inside is changed, the outside will follow suit. One of the internal components we can seek to change within is the self-image. 

Self-image is the internal view we hold about ourselves and it influences how we behave or how we carry ourselves. It consists of descriptions we hold about ourselves such as strong, brave, weak, cheerful, able, kind etc. It influences how we interact with others. It also has a big impact on whether we will succeed on any goals we are striving to achieve. 

In his book Psycho-Cybernetics, Dr. Maxwell Maltz said this about self-image: 

“The "self-image" is the key to human personality and human behavior. Change the self-image and you change the personality and the behavior. But more than this. The "self-image" sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment. It defines what you can and cannot do. Expand the self-image and you expand the "area of the possible." The development of an adequate, realistic self-image will seem to imbue the individual with new capabilities, new talents and literally turn failure into success.”

For us to lead an inspired harmonious life, our self-image, has to be in line with our authentic self-image. It has also to align with the goals we are pursuing, if we are to achieve them. The more our self-image is aligned to the creative goals that we are pursuing, the more inspired and harmonious a life we will lead. The healthier our self-image is, the more aligned our goals are to this self-image, the more inspired and harmonious a life we will have. 

“When a tree’s shadow is bent, straighten the tree, not the shadow” African proverb

This proverb shows that when seeking to change something, the better strategy is to go at the core of the problem or issue. In human beings, to deal with issues visible on the outside, the best strategy is to change from within. When the inside is changed, the outside will follow suit. One of the internal components we can seek to change within is the self-image. 

Self-image is the internal view we hold about ourselves and it influences how we behave or how we carry ourselves. It consists of descriptions we hold about ourselves such as strong, brave, weak, cheerful, able, kind etc. It influences how we interact with others. It also has a big impact on whether we will succeed on any goals we are striving to achieve. 

In his book Psycho-Cybernetics, Dr. Maxwell Maltz said this about self-image: 

“The "self-image" is the key to human personality and human behavior. Change the self-image and you change the personality and the behavior. But more than this. The "self-image" sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment. It defines what you can and cannot do. Expand the self-image and you expand the "area of the possible." The development of an adequate, realistic self-image will seem to imbue the individual with new capabilities, new talents and literally turn failure into success.”

For us to lead an inspired harmonious life, our self-image, has to be in line with our authentic self-image. It has also to align with the goals we are pursuing, if we are to achieve them. The more our self-image is aligned to the creative goals that we are pursuing, the more inspired and harmonious a life we will lead. The healthier our self-image is, the more aligned our goals are to this self-image, the more inspired and harmonious a life we will have. 

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” Zig Ziglar

Learning or sharpening the skill of having goals and achieving them will enable us to lead an inspired harmonious life. We can set goals that are of two general categories. We can set goals in the competitive plane and goals in the creative plane. Having goals of a competitive nature means, in most cases, by you winning, someone else losses or gets vanquished. Setting goals in the creative nature means that when you win, many others win or benefit from your achieving that goal. 

The author and motivational speaker Jim Rohn said “If you go to work on your goals, your goals will go to work on you. If you go to work on your plan, your plan will go to work on you. Whatever good things we build end up building us.”

I think you become better by all counts while striving towards achieving your goals. It changes you for the better whether you succeed or not. If you do not succeed, you learn how to improve so that you can reach your goal in subsequent attempts. 

When you have a goal, something you are striving towards, it gives you focus and balance. Suddenly you know what things, people or activities support you towards achieving your goal or goals and which ones don’t. You get the clarity to say yes and the courage to say no to those things that do not aid you to reach your goals. 

I think setting and achieving goals is like learning to ride a bike.

So for us to achieve an inspired harmonious life, we cannot afford to operate without goals. The goals give us balance, a focal point and the encouragement to keep moving forward. Once you achieve a goal, it is time to set another one in its place. 

So do you have a goal or goals you are working towards? If you do not have a goal, today may be that day to set one. If you have a goal, I encourage you to keep working on it, you will achieve it, if you do not give up!

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” Zig Ziglar

Learning or sharpening the skill of having goals and achieving them will enable us to lead an inspired harmonious life. We can set goals that are of two general categories. We can set goals in the competitive plane and goals in the creative plane. Having goals of a competitive nature means, in most cases, by you winning, someone else losses or gets vanquished. Setting goals in the creative nature means that when you win, many others win or benefit from your achieving that goal. 

The author and motivational speaker Jim Rohn said “If you go to work on your goals, your goals will go to work on you. If you go to work on your plan, your plan will go to work on you. Whatever good things we build end up building us.”

I think you become better by all counts while striving towards achieving your goals. It changes you for the better whether you succeed or not. If you do not succeed, you learn how to improve so that you can reach your goal in subsequent attempts. 

When you have a goal, something you are striving towards, it gives you focus and balance. Suddenly you know what things, people or activities support you towards achieving your goal or goals and which ones don’t. You get the clarity to say yes and the courage to say no to those things that do not aid you to reach your goals. 

I think setting and achieving goals is like learning to ride a bike.

So for us to achieve an inspired harmonious life, we cannot afford to operate without goals. The goals give us balance, a focal point and the encouragement to keep moving forward. Once you achieve a goal, it is time to set another one in its place. 

So do you have a goal or goals you are working towards? If you do not have a goal, today may be that day to set one. If you have a goal, I encourage you to keep working on it, you will achieve it, if you do not give up!