Awake In Relationship

054 The struggle to reconcile the better angels of our nature with powerful, earthly desires of the flesh is familiar to anyone on a spiritual path. Historically vilified and repressed by religious intuitions and the state, our sexual energy often hides in the shadows. Unexamined, it remains as a juvenile object of fascination or worse, a corrupting influence to avoid at all costs.

The sexual revolution cast off centuries of rigid norms around sex, yet half a century later instead of liberation we have fallen into what many experts have called a ‘sex recession’, especially among young adults. A legacy of trauma, internalized shame and fear around sex endures and has blocked many from experiencing the full potential of their sexuality for connection, creativity and transcendence.

In the episode of Awake In Relationship I speak with Indus Piche, transpersonal therapist and sacred sexuality teacher, about healing the hidden religious and cultural blocks to sexual expression and freedom. We also discuss practical steps to reclaiming our sexual energy as a source of empowerment in daily life and spiritual growth.

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053 Since time immemorial humans have danced in tribal and shamanic ceremonies for healing and social harmony. The rhythmic beat of a djembe or a subwoofer connects us with the internal rhythm of the heart and entrains us with others. When we move together we co regulate our nervous systems in times of high stress. All over the planet the phenomena of ecstatic dance is breaking down barriers to connection and building diverse communities. In a time of great uncertainty dance is the perfect medicine for casting off fear and reconnecting to joy.

In this instalment of Awake In Relationship I speak with Shauna Devlin, the founder of Dance Your Ability, a Not for Profit organization that is bringing conscious dance to marginalized populations including elders and the differently abled. Shauna trained in 5 Rhythms with Gabrielle Roth and has rocked dance floors for over 20 years. In this conversation we explore the many facets and forms of conscious dance from the perspective of a seasoned facilitator and DJ. We also discuss the power of music and moving together for healing old wounds and how to make dance medicine more accessible to those who need it most.


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052 For decades people have been leaving traditional religious institutions in droves to pursuit a more direct path to enlightenment through eastern practices like meditation and yoga. In this lonely world it can be intoxicating to find a community that feels like home and provides a sense of safety and support to explore your spiritual longing in depth. If you are fortunate enough to connect with a teacher or mentor it might even feel like destiny calling.

In many traditions the teacher/student relationship is considered sacred because unlike other worldly relationships an authentic spiritual teacher can see through our BS and offer a glimpse into the ultimate view, our true nature beyond dualistic thought and ego clinging. However, the highest bliss of devotion also contains the possibility of a poison pill that neither student or teacher are prepared to swallow.

Great realization doesn’t necessarily mean great emotional intelligence or the absence of the shadow. The shadow is a Jungian term for the unconscious mind where we store our deepest family secrets, repressed emotions, unmet desires, and also our unexpressed potential. We only become aware of the shadow when it is activated in intimate relationships that involve power, sex and money.

What is a spiritual path for if not to bring to the light the most hidden aspects of ourselves? Yet so many spiritual communities are blindsided when allegations of clergy abuse surface. In this episode of Awake In Relationship I speak with Dr. Connie Zweig, author of Meeting the Shadow on the Spiritual Path: The dance of darkness and light in our search for awakening, about the archetypal quest for transcendence and the inevitable disillusionment that results when divinity mixes with human fallibility. We also discuss some of the lessons learned from patterns of misconduct in the west and how recover trust in the teacher student dynamic and joy on the path of awakening through shadow work.


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051 In this episode of REWIND we revisit a conversation with relationship expert and coach Mel Cassidy focused on creating health boundaries.  Personal boundaries are a natural part of any relationship, but rarely are they discussed openly until a line has been crossed.  

After Covid lockdowns many people have discovering their edge the hard way.  In this episode of AIR I speak with Mel Cassidy, a relationship coach who focuses on polyamory and honest non monogamy, about the art of negotiating agreements and boundaries, especially in complex relationships.  We also explore how trauma shows up in intimacy and how to use mindfulness and the messages arising from our somatic experiences to guide towards our deepest needs and desires in relationship.

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050 ON AIR is a short monologue where Silas digs deeper into some of relational themes covered on the podcast and current affairs, Artificial Intelligence is all the buzz after the release of Chat GBT4 by Open AI in the fall of 2022. This version caught many technologists by surprise as it was able to pass the bar exam, right code in seconds and engage in human like dialogue with ease. It is now possible for anyone with an internet who is lonely to form complex, emotionally bonded relationships with non human chat bots. 

The birth of a new super intelligence make possible a golden age, freeing humanity from sickness, poverty and war.  However, we have been given godlike power, without the compassion and wisdom of the gods. Snap Chat, Microsoft, Facebook and Google are racing to add AI functionality to their platforms to drive engagement. Whoever controls the most powerful Ai holds the ring of power.
 

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049 There are few personal growth paths harder than starting a business. Social entrepreneurs who care deeply about the relationships they have with their clients can find that the line between selling and serving sometimes gets blurry. Those new to business often under value their work and avoid marketing like the plague, limiting their income potential and impact in the world .

In this episode I speak with Tad Hargrave, business mentor for the Marketing for Hippies membership community about practical ways to communicate your value and get noticed in a noisy global marketplace without selling your soul. We also discuss some of the myths and hidden motives behind popular relationship marketing tactics and a simple 3 step formula for marketing that centers on authenticity and finding alignment with the people you most want to serve.

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048  Just like the natural world the information ecosystem we rely on daily for important news and meaning making is under threat. The internet was supposed to democratize access to human knowledge and wisdom, Instead, once trusted gatekeepers of information and moral authorities have been replaced by millions of self appointed experts, online content creators and bots.  This has led to a proliferation of low quality information, propaganda, and sometimes bold faced lies. The truth is harder than ever to find and verify. Without shared truths the  consensus reality we occupy falls prey to the proclamations of those with the biggest platform or loudest voice. 

In this episode of Awake In Relationship I speak with returning guest Buddhist author and teacher Susan Gillis Chapman about the search for truth and meaning in a time when many of the stable ontological reference points of daily life are dissolving. In this discussion we explore the loss of knowledge keepers and the possibility of an experiential truth arising from contemplative disciplines like self inquiry, debate and mindfulness meditation.  We also talk about overcoming toxic certainty and how to create safe spaces for important conversations that restore a sense of shared truths.

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047 The man box is a sociological term coined in the 1980s describing a rigid set of behaviours boys are expected to conform to become ‘real men’ in society, including aggression, dominance, mental and physical toughness, self sufficiency and emotional restraint. Dismantling this old map of masculinity has been important for moving closer to gender equality.  However, the absence of a clear vision for a generative form of masculinity to replace the man box has resulted in a generation of men who are struggling to find purpose, direction and belonging in a rapidly changing world.

In almost every metric of success including education, career advancement and earning potential men have fallen behind the opposite sex. In this conversation I speak with David Jurasek, psychotherapist and mens coach about the current state of boys and men and the often overlooked causes of antisocial male behaviour, under performance and inability to access emotional help. We also discuss ways conscious men can re-access the power latent in their biology and psyche in healthy ways that serve others and open to greater love and a sense of purpose.

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046 As mammals we are intrinsically wired to experience pleasure, but how we actualize our desires in this modern age has never seemed more complex.  The pandemic times added a new layer of anxiety to the simple human need for intimacy and connection. Touch can be incredibly healing and transformative when mindfully offered and received fully.  Consent is an ongoing process of mutual agreements, rather than a destination.  As partners in the path of pleasure it is possible to move beyond old wounds and expand our capacity for love and deep intimacy.

In this episode of Awake In Relationship I speak with author and educator Betty Martin regarding her new book The Art of Giving and Receiving:The Wheel of Consent and how to arrive at YES in any relationship.  We also discuss how relaxation and the curiosity to follow your own pleasure can lead to deeper ecstatic states in intimacy.

045 Trauma shapes the trajectory of life and relationships in profound and often long lasting ways. Most of the time the effects are hidden in the background of daily life and only come to surface in times of high stress. Many of us are walking wounded. One in two adults have experienced a major traumatic event.  Trauma can show up in mental health challenges and complex social problems like the opioid crisis. When the survival mechanism is active it is hard to see above the clouds.  Without perspective we are prone to repeating dysfunctional relationship dynamics from the past rather than being open to possibilities of greater love and connection in the present.

In this episode of Awake In Relationship I speak with Jennifer Summerfeldt, clinical counsellor and birthing doula about about mastering our neurobiology to develop the capacity to relax old survival strategies to move into a thriving state no matter what is happening in our internal or external worlds.

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