Awake In Relationship

034 The pandemic has highlighted some fundamental and often painful differences in worldview between nations, political parties, friends and family. As we enter a 5th wave polarization and fear can   undermine our collective ability to respond effectively to a changing world. According to contemplative psychology we all possess intrinsic health, a basic reservoir of sanity and compassion we can rely on.  By reconnecting with intrinsic health through mindfulness practices it is possible to release fear, bridge differences and foster healthy relationships.

In this episode of Awake In Relationship I speak with return guest Melissa Moore, director of Karuna Training and author of the Diamonds Within Us: Uncovering brilliant sanity through contemplative psychology, about the often hidden resource of intrinsic health.  In this conversation we discuss how polarization creates pathology both in the culture and the mind and how to work with strong emotions using the tools of contemplative psychology. We also discuss specific ways to reconnect to intrinsic health and create a compassionate space for dialogue in these polarizing times.

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033 According to the Tibetan Book of the Dead a bardo is a period of great transition and uncertainty.  Change is an inevitable part of life, but often when it comes to the BIG changes like a divorce, a career change, the death of a parent or a pandemic we often freeze or panic. Time spent in a bardo cuts to the core of who we are and tests our resolve to stay present in the midst of what feels like chaos.  However, if we have trained in the practice of mindfulness it is possible to meet uncertainty with openness and navigate our way through the bardo to a place that reflects our highest aspirations rather than our fears.

In this episode of AIR I speak with return guest Susan Gillis Chapman, Buddhist teacher and author of the 5 Keys of Mindful Communication, about the perils and possibilities of mindful life transitions.  In the course of this chat we discuss the role of meditation for overcoming the fear of change, self care practices  during big transitions and the keys for awakening to greater wisdom and compassion in uncertain times.


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032 Despite an abundance of connectivity in the digital age, finding love online can be elusive. Time on dating apps often be a frustrating roller coaster ride of hope and fear. The ability to bypass the algorithms and spark connections with strangers in the real world might seem like a superpower. However, as humans we evolved to be social to survive.  By reawakening dormant skills and instincts it is possible to open to the infinite possibilities for love and connection hiding in plain sight.

In this episode of Awake In Relationship I speak with author and dating coach Camille Virginia about the benefits of offline dating skills for your love life and social network. We go deep into the foundations of social intelligence and attraction and how to overcome approach anxiety and the fear of rejection when meeting someone new.

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O31 In exchange for so called free services like Google products, social media, or online dating apps we offer in return our most precious asset - our attention.  Most people in the western world now spend 11 or more hours a day online.  Attention is a zero sum game. The more time we spend doom scrolling on Twitter or creating, consuming and sharing online content the less focus and empathy we have left over for the people in our lives.

In this episode of Awake In Relationship I speak with author and educator Dr Charles Chaffin about the power of our attention in the information age and his book Numb: How the information age dulls our senses and how to get them back. In this conversation we discuss the perils of online life for our mental well being and focus. We also explore how to reclaim attention and put the ‘social’ back in social media by using online tools to enhance existing relationships and build connections.

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030 As mammals we are wired for pleasure, but how we actualize our desires has never seemed more complex.  The pandemic has added new layers of anxiety to the simple human need for intimacy and connection. Touch can be healing and transformative when mindfully given and received.  Consent is an ongoing process of agreements rather than a destination.  As partners in pleasure it is possible to move beyond old wounds and expand our capacity for joy. 

In this episode of Awake In Relationship I speak with Betty Martin regarding her new book The Art of Giving and Receiving:The Wheel of Consent and how to arrive at YES in any relationship.  We also discuss how relaxation and the curiosity to follow your own pleasure can lead to deeper ecstatic states in intimacy.

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029 ON AIR is a pithy monologue by the host of Awake In Relationship Silas Rose  featuring commentary on  topics arising from interviews and current affairs.  As we enter the fourth wave of the global pandemic polarization threatens to derail the public health response and divide family and friends. How can we meet the challenge of the climate crisis if we cant even have a conversation?  In this instalment of ON AIR Silas explores the middle way,  the rare space where love and our shared humanity reside. 

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028 Dancing is something shared among all cultures to express joy and foster deep connection. How we move our body to music, especially with others can be very vulnerable and invoke awkward feelings and fear.  Think Elaine Benis dancing at the staff party on the sitcom Seinfeld. Like any mindfulness practice dance goes deep and sometimes shows us where we are stuck and need to move.

In this episode of AIR I speak with Anne Marie Hogya, Occupational Therapist and 5 Rhythms dance facilitator about taking risks on the dance floor and the crossovers to creativity and flow in daily life.  We also explore dance as a mindfulness practice and how to transform our stuck emotions like fear into an experience of freedom with movement.

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027 Returning to ‘normal’ after the collective trauma of the global pandemic will take more than a vaccine. Hyper vigilance and fear of can narrow our window of tolerance for connection and prevent us from forming new healthy relationships. The ability to be fully present with others depends on a safe and empathetic container.  Compassionate exchange is a practice of reconnecting to the body, letting go of emotional reactivity and communicating from the heart.

In this episode of AIR I speak with Dr Melissa Moore, founder of Karuna Training, about  contemplative psychology and the role of compassion in addressing the mental, physical and emotional challenges of post pandemic life, including social isolation, uncertainty and burnout. We also discuss how compassion can serve as the foundation for a renewed sense of community and civic life in these polarizing times.

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026  For close to a year forest activists in the Fairy Creek watershed have been defending the last unprotected stand of coastal old growth on Southern Vancouver Island.  Fairy Creek is the latest salvo in a conflict that goes back decades. In 1993 mass protests in Clayoquot Sound, dubbed ‘the war in the woods’, gave birth to an international movement to protect ancient forests and highlighted the failed forestry policies that pit workers against protesters and disenfranchise and divide indigenous communities.  

History is repeating itself again. This time with the renewed urgency of the climate crisis. In this episode of AIR I speak with Elizabeth Noble, campaign fundraiser at the Sierra Club BC about the the history of old growth logging in British Columbia and the struggle to protect what is left.  We also discuss the innate value of ancient forests for well being and mitigating the effects of climate change, as well as policy solutions that respect First Nations title and rights over the land.

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025 To thrive in an uncertain world kids need to develop the capacity to be resilient in the face of change. Wild places are the ultimate training ground for youth to cultivate inner strength, interpersonal skills and a love of the natural world. However, with more of life being lived online many parents struggle to get their children off devices and into the outdoors.  In this episode of AIR I speak with Dr Nevin Harper about adventure and nature based therapy, the virtues of risky play and the need to support kids and teens in facing adversity on the journey to adulthood.

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