Healing Starts with the Heart

The experience of grief is one of the most challenging and emotionally charged aspects of the human experience. Whether we lose a loved one suddenly or after a prolonged illness, the process of grieving can be a long and difficult one that affects us deeply on many levels.
In the digital age, we now face a new dimension of grief - the digital goodbye. With the prevalence of social media and other forms of digital communication, we now have more areas of closure to consider than ever before.
For many of us, the Facebook page of the deceased is one of the primary sources of grief. We may find ourselves checking their page, looking for any signs that they are still with us in some way. We may see their posts from the past and be reminded of their humor, their kindness, or their love. But at the same time, seeing these reminders can break our hearts all over again, as we are faced with the reality that they are no longer here.
Another aspect of the digital goodbye is the social media presence of the deceased. Do we leave their accounts active, or do we delete them? There is no right or wrong answer to this question, as it is a deeply personal decision. Some may choose to leave the accounts active as a way of keeping the person's memory alive, while others may prefer to delete the accounts as a way of moving on.
One of the most challenging aspects of the digital goodbye is the yearly reminders that come up on our social media sites. Facebook, for example, will often send us reminders of past posts that we shared with the person who has passed away. These reminders can be incredibly painful, as they bring back memories of times that we shared with the person and remind us of the loss that we have experienced.
The cell phone number of the deceased is another area of closure that we need to consider. Do we keep the number or cancel it? This is another deeply personal decision that depends on the individual circumstances. Some may choose to keep the number as a way of feeling connected to the person, while others may find it too painful to be reminded of the loss every time they see the number.
In conclusion, the digital goodbye is a new aspect of grief that we must learn to navigate in the digital age. It is a deeply personal process that requires us to consider our own feelings and emotions in the context of the technology that surrounds us. While it can be challenging and painful, it is also an opportunity to honor the memory of those who have passed and find ways to keep them alive in our hearts and minds.

Grief, pain, and suffering are three concepts that are often used interchangeably when discussing the experience of loss. However, they are distinct and can have different impacts on an individual's emotional and mental well-being.
Grief is a normal and natural response to loss. It is an emotional and physical experience that individuals go through when they lose someone or something that they care about deeply.

Grief is often accompanied by feelings of sadness, loneliness, and emptiness. It can also cause physical symptoms such as fatigue, insomnia, and loss of appetite. While grief can be painful, it is a natural part of the healing process and can help individuals come to terms with their loss.

Pain is the physical and emotional discomfort that is often associated with grief. Pain can be caused by physical or emotional stressors, and it can manifest as physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, and muscle tension. Emotional pain can also cause feelings of sadness, anger, or anxiety. Pain is a normal response to grief and can be managed with proper self-care, including exercise, nutrition, and stress management techniques.

Suffering, on the other hand, is a state of mind that occurs when individuals get stuck in their grief and are unable to move forward. Suffering is often characterized by feelings of hopelessness, despair, and helplessness. It can cause individuals to withdraw from others, feel isolated and alone, and lose their sense of purpose and meaning. Suffering is not a normal or necessary part of the grieving process and can be detrimental to an individual's emotional and mental health.

It is important to understand the differences between grief, pain, and suffering to ensure that individuals receive the appropriate support and care they need to heal from their loss. While grief and pain are normal responses to loss, suffering can be avoided by seeking help from mental health professionals, support groups, or trusted friends and family members. By recognizing the differences between these concepts, individuals can take steps to manage their grief and avoid unnecessary suffering.

In conclusion, grief, pain, and suffering are distinct concepts that are often used interchangeably when discussing the experience of loss. While grief and pain are normal responses to loss, suffering can be avoided by seeking help and support from mental health professionals, support groups, or trusted friends and family members. Understanding the differences between these concepts can help individuals manage their grief and avoid unnecessary suffering.

Sit with Sharon and Erica as they share their experience of caring for someone with illness and the grief that happens after the death. 

Experiencing a long-term illness and caring for a loved one can be one of the most difficult and emotional experiences one can go through. As a caregiver, you may have spent weeks, months, or even years, tending to your loved one's needs, providing them with physical, emotional, and spiritual support. Your life may have revolved around their care, leaving little time or energy for anything else.
After your loved one passes away, the sudden absence of their presence can feel overwhelming. Along with the grief and pain of losing someone close to you, you may also experience a sense of emptiness and loss of purpose that comes from the end of your caregiving journey.

As a caregiver, your routine may have revolved around your loved one's needs. You may have spent countless hours providing care, running errands, and attending appointments. Now that your caregiving role has ended, it can be challenging to adjust to a new routine and figure out how to fill the hours that were once dedicated to your loved one's care.

In addition, the stress and exhaustion of caring for a loved one can leave you feeling physically and emotionally drained. It's not uncommon for caregivers to experience burnout and other health issues as a result of the physical and emotional demands of their role. After your loved one passes away, you may find yourself struggling to regain your energy and take care of your own needs.
All of these factors can contribute to a sense of loss and grief after the passing of a loved one. You may find yourself struggling to come to terms with the fact that your caregiving journey has come to an end, and that you must now adjust to a new normal without your loved one.

It's important to remember that grief is a natural and necessary part of the healing process. You may experience a range of emotions, from sadness and anger to guilt and regret. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and seek support from loved ones or a professional counselor if needed.

While the loss of your caregiving role may feel overwhelming, it's important to recognize that you still have value and purpose in the world. Take time to reflect on your own needs and interests, and consider how you can use your experiences to help others who may be going through a similar journey.
Remember that it's okay to take things one day at a time and to focus on self-care during this difficult time. Be patient with yourself, and know that with time and support, you will find a way to heal and move forward.

Losing a spouse is one of the most difficult things that anyone can experience. The grief, pain, and emotional turmoil that come with such a loss can be overwhelming, and it can take a long time to heal. But what happens when a widow finds love again? Is it possible to move on from the pain of losing a spouse and find happiness with someone new? For many widows, the answer is a resounding yes. But for others, the process of moving on can be fraught with guilt and conflicting emotions.
Meet Sarah. Sarah was married to her husband for 15 years before he passed away from cancer. They had a beautiful life together, and Sarah loved her husband deeply. But after he passed, Sarah found herself struggling to move on. She tried to keep busy with work and friends, but the pain of losing her husband was always there. Sarah felt lost and alone.
It wasn't until a few years after her husband's death that Sarah met Mark. Mark was kind, compassionate, and understanding. He listened to Sarah's stories about her husband and was patient with her as she worked through her grief. Sarah was initially hesitant to start a new relationship, but she eventually opened up to Mark and they started dating.
At first, Sarah felt hopeful that she had found someone who could help her move on from the pain of losing her husband. But as their relationship progressed, Sarah started to feel guilty. She would think about her husband and feel like she was betraying his memory by being with someone else. She would cry and feel overwhelmed with sadness, and she didn't know how to reconcile her love for her husband with her growing feelings for Mark.
Sarah's guilt was compounded by the fact that Mark was divorced. She felt like she was taking away someone else's chance at love, and that she didn't deserve to be happy. The pain of losing her husband was sometimes unbearable, and she would lash out at Mark when she couldn't control her emotions.
Despite her guilt and conflicting emotions, Sarah loved Mark. She saw in him a future that she never thought she could have after losing her husband. But her grief was always present, and it made it difficult for her to fully embrace her new relationship.
Sarah eventually sought help from me as a grief specialist,  I  helped her understand that her feelings were normal and valid. \ Sarah work through her guilt and helped her see that it was possible to love someone new while still honoring the memory of her husband.
It wasn't easy, but Sarah slowly began to let go of her guilt and embrace her new relationship. She still missed her husband, but she was able to find happiness with Mark. It was a process of healing, but Sarah found that she was able to love again without betraying the memory of her husband.
Sarah's story is a reminder that grief is a process, and it looks different for everyone. Moving on from the loss of a spouse is never easy, and it's okay to feel conflicting emotions when starting a new relationship. But with time, patience, and understanding, it's possible to find love again and honor the memory of the one you've lost.

Losing a spouse is one of the most difficult things that anyone can experience. The grief, pain, and emotional turmoil that come with such a loss can be overwhelming, and it can take a long time to heal. But what happens when a widow finds love again? Is it possible to move on from the pain of losing a spouse and find happiness with someone new? For many widows, the answer is a resounding yes. But for others, the process of moving on can be fraught with guilt and conflicting emotions.
Meet Sarah. Sarah was married to her husband for 15 years before he passed away from cancer. They had a beautiful life together, and Sarah loved her husband deeply. But after he passed, Sarah found herself struggling to move on. She tried to keep busy with work and friends, but the pain of losing her husband was always there. Sarah felt lost and alone.
It wasn't until a few years after her husband's death that Sarah met Mark. Mark was kind, compassionate, and understanding. He listened to Sarah's stories about her husband and was patient with her as she worked through her grief. Sarah was initially hesitant to start a new relationship, but she eventually opened up to Mark and they started dating.
At first, Sarah felt hopeful that she had found someone who could help her move on from the pain of losing her husband. But as their relationship progressed, Sarah started to feel guilty. She would think about her husband and feel like she was betraying his memory by being with someone else. She would cry and feel overwhelmed with sadness, and she didn't know how to reconcile her love for her husband with her growing feelings for Mark.
Sarah's guilt was compounded by the fact that Mark was divorced. She felt like she was taking away someone else's chance at love, and that she didn't deserve to be happy. The pain of losing her husband was sometimes unbearable, and she would lash out at Mark when she couldn't control her emotions.
Despite her guilt and conflicting emotions, Sarah loved Mark. She saw in him a future that she never thought she could have after losing her husband. But her grief was always present, and it made it difficult for her to fully embrace her new relationship.
Sarah eventually sought help from me as a grief specialist,  I  helped her understand that her feelings were normal and valid. \ Sarah work through her guilt and helped her see that it was possible to love someone new while still honoring the memory of her husband.
It wasn't easy, but Sarah slowly began to let go of her guilt and embrace her new relationship. She still missed her husband, but she was able to find happiness with Mark. It was a process of healing, but Sarah found that she was able to love again without betraying the memory of her husband.
Sarah's story is a reminder that grief is a process, and it looks different for everyone. Moving on from the loss of a spouse is never easy, and it's okay to feel conflicting emotions when starting a new relationship. But with time, patience, and understanding, it's possible to find love again and honor the memory of the one you've lost.

Grief should never be taken lightly. It can shape us and help us understand our place in the world, but it’s also an important part of healing that shouldn't be ignored or looked over.

This grief is mine to treat how I see fit. Please do not try to correct me or change the way I am grieving. My grief belongs entirely to me, and what I make of it, is my business and mine alone

Grieving is a deeply personal journey - my pain, and what I make of it, ultimately holds its own special purpose. Although well-meant advice may be offered with care by loved ones during this time, at the end of the day only I can take control over how to best cope through sorrows unknown.

"Welcome to our podcast for grievers. In today's episode, we will be discussing the idea that self care is important, but it is not the only thing that will help us move past the pain of grief.

Many of us have been told that practicing self care can help us to cope with the pain of grief. This can include things like exercise, journaling, talking to a therapist, or spending time with loved ones. These are all great ways to take care of ourselves, but they are not the only solutions.

Grief is a complex and multi-faceted experience. It is not something that can be fixed with one solution or a quick fix. It takes time and patience to work through the pain. Sometimes, even after doing all the self care that we have been suggested, we may still find ourselves struggling with the pain of grief.

It is important to remember that grief is a natural and normal response to loss. It is not something that we can simply will away or ignore. It is a process that we need to go through in order to heal.

So, even if self care is not making you feel better as much as you would like, it is still important to keep practicing it. In addition to self care, it is also important to reach out for support. Talk to friends and family, or consider joining a support group for people who are also grieving.

Remember that healing takes time and that it is okay to still be grieving even after you've tried different self care practices. Be patient with yourself, and know that the pain will eventually fade. You are not alone in your grief, and there are people who care and want to help." ~ Sharon

Grief is a deeply personal and individual experience, and there is no "correct" way to grieve. Some people find it helpful to express their emotions through writing, art, or music; others find solace in spending time with loved ones or engaging in activities that bring them joy. Some people may find it helpful to seek support from a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor. It's important to remember that it's okay to feel a wide range of emotions, including sadness, anger, and guilt, and that it's okay to take the time you need to heal. Here are a few additional tips that may be helpful:

Allow yourself to feel and express your emotions. It's normal to feel a wide range of emotions when you're grieving, and it's important to allow yourself to experience and express these emotions. This may involve talking to friends and family, writing in a journal, or participating in activities that allow you to express yourself creatively.

Take care of yourself. It's important to take care of your physical and emotional well-being during this time. This may involve getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and provide a sense of accomplishment.

Seek support from others. It can be helpful to talk to friends and family about your feelings and to seek support from others who are grieving. You may also find it helpful to join a support group or seek the guidance of a mental health professional.

Find healthy ways to cope. There are many healthy ways to cope with grief, such as spending time in nature, engaging in physical activity, or finding ways to feel connected to the person you've lost. It's important to find what works for you and to be patient with yourself as you navigate this difficult time. ~ Sharon

Death by Suicide

I have never known what it feels like to want to end my life. But I do know what a broken heart feels like, and I know it is not good.  I do know that losing someone to suicide is possibly the worse loss anyone can suffer.  No one can ever be prepared to deal with it.  
When someone we love is lost to suicide, the aftermath is clouded with the misunderstandings and shame that surrounds both mental illness and suicide.
One of the most common misunderstandings regarding suicide is the thought that the primary cause of suicide is mental illness.  Also, there is a belief that only people who are mentally ill attempt suicide.  None of these myths are true. 

Keep in mind that there are hundreds of other factors, including but not limited to abuse, trauma, alcohol use, poor problem-solving capacity, and chronic illness. Sadly, even the simple feeling of social isolation can be a cause for attempted suicide.  It comes from the feeling that you have no one to talk to or that no one will understand what you are going through. 
Ignorance concerning mental illness contributes to suicide.  The element of shame keeps many from seeking help.  The risk increases when thoughts of what others may think of them stands in the way of doing something about their problems or seeking help.

He is me. 
The announcement of tWitch’s death by suicide hits insanely close to home. He has been described as love and light. 
I feel, in a way, that is how people tend to see me:
Love
LIGHT 
High energy
Humor/Laughter
What people don’t see:
Major Depressive Disorder
Addict
Heartbroken
Hopeless 
Empty 
When people say they don’t understand how this happens…
I do. 
I get putting on the show. Performing to keep the people around you happy and feeling completely empty when the lights go down and the show is over. 
I have never been in a place where a world without me sounds better than a world with me, but I see how people arrive there. 
It is not far off. 
I share this to say, it is not only the quiet ones or the overtly sad ones that need a hand. We can do better.
Consistently check-in. 
Ignore the highlight reel that is social media. 
Make sure everyone in your life knows that you love them and knows that this world is better with them in it. 
Listen for understanding and without judgment. 
Ask “Are you ok” and let them know they are not a burden but a blessing in your life.
"The very nature of someone struggling with suicide and depression is that they're not likely to reach out. They feel like a burden to others.
People who are having thoughts of suicide often feel trapped and alone. Even if you can't find the exact words to say, the aspect that somebody cares makes a big difference”
I hope this helps. 
I hope we can each be the difference in the life of someone who is hurting. ❤️
Stephen tWitch Boss
Brody Stevens (The Hangover)
Kate Spade
Kurt Cobain
Chester Bennington (Lincoln Park)
Anthony Bourdain
Robin Williams
Daisy Coleman (Audrie and Daisy)
Dave Mirra (X Games)
Mark Salling (Glee)
Naomi Judd
Houston Tumlin (Talladega Nights)
Chelsie Kryst (Miss USA) 
... just to name a few of the loved and recently lost...