What did this episode awaken in you? Don’t be shy.

https://www.speakpipe.com/10khshow

This is Ten Thousand Heroes and I’m Ankur Shah Delight.

Today’s episode is an interview with historian and author Nico Slate.

His most recent book is part-memoir, part-biography, and part-history, and addresses his evolving relationship with his half-brother Peter, through hate crimes, riots, and personal tragedy.

Basically I want everyone to read his book.

If you listened to previous episodes with Nico (#00003, #00084), you have a sense of how incredibly thoughtful he is. He brings that whole presence + decades of scholarship + the most heartbreaking story of brotherhood you can imagine to his book.

Read it! (Nico’s publisher, Amazon.com)

This show, Ten Thousand Heroes, is about aligning our life with our purpose.

Most of the time that requires:

• Confusion

• Hard work

• Addressing conflict, and

• Unconditional love

How would we treat each other if we assumed every person we met was a hero in disguise (just like we are)?

How would our society and culture change if we did that?

We’re here to support you and challenge you during that journey.

Show Links:

Voicemail:  https://www.speakpipe.com/10khshow

Email: [email protected]

10,000 Heroes: http://10kh.show

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/10000-heroes/id1565667158

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Mh2WvODShs6jwIQSd0wp1

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@10kheroesshow

Elephant In The Room Challenge: http://momentumlab.com

Newsletter: http://momentumlab.com/podcast

Guest References:

Buy the book: Nico’s publisher, Amazon.com

Nico’s website: https://www.cmu.edu/dietrich/history/people/faculty/slate.html

About our sponsor:

10,000 Heroes is brought to you by Momentum Lab. 

I normally refer to Momentum Lab as an experiment-based coaching program or a goal accelerator.

But it’s beyond that. It’s a deep investigation into Purpose, Vision, and what it takes to achieve our goals in every area of life.

If you’re interested in falling in love with who you are, what you’re doing, or what you’re surrounded with, there’s two roads:

1. Accepting what is

2. Transforming your situation

We help you do both. 

The best way of learning more is to sign up for our weekly email: (Momentum) Lab Notes

http://momentumlab.com/podcast

Finally! Finally! Finally!

I’ve been wanting to do something like this for a long time. In a few days we launch our first public challenge: The Elephant In The Room. This episode is all about it:

• Why I think this is so good for you

• What you can hope to experience

• How to sign up

And we get a little personal and let out our own Elephants near the end…

You can get more info on our website: http://momentumlab.com

Show Links:

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF_C56bjm3HPYOvdWEfnWtw

Voicemail:  https://www.speakpipe.com/10khshow

Email: [email protected]

Podcast website: http://momentumlab.com/podcast

Momentum Lab: http://www.momentumlab.com

About our sponsor:

10,000 Heroes is brought to you by Momentum Lab. 

I normally refer to Momentum Lab as an experiment-based coaching program or a goal accelerator.

But it’s beyond that. It’s a deep investigation into Purpose, Vision, and what it takes to achieve our goals in every area of life.

If you’re interested in falling in love with who you are, what you’re doing, or what you’re surrounded with, there’s two roads:

1. Accepting what is

2. Transforming your situation

We help you do both.

In this episode I talk with Relationship Therapist and Coach Dan Anear about conflict in relationships and specifically, the role our emotions play in conflict. For decades the conventional wisdom was “leave your emotions” at the door. Dan would like to challenge that. He also brings in his work with Terry Real’s Relational Life Institute, and reminds us that so often “The Thing is not The Thing”: that our conflicts are deeper than they appear.

This show, Ten Thousand Heroes, is about addressing conflict and difference with unconditional love. 

How would we treat each other if we assumed every person we met was a hero in disguise?

How would our society and culture change if we did that?

No matter how complex and messy things get: The only way out is through.

Show Links:

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF_C56bjm3HPYOvdWEfnWtw

Voicemail:  https://www.speakpipe.com/10khshow

Email: [email protected]

Podcast website: http://momentumlab.com/podcast

Momentum Lab: http://www.momentumlab.com

Guest References:

website is https://danielanear.com

podcast: https://danielanear.com/podcast/

instagram: @danielanearrelationshipcoach

facebook: facebook.com/danielanearrelationshiptherapy

youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@convergentlyspeakingpodcas9620

About our sponsor:

10,000 Heroes is brought to you by Momentum Lab. 

I normally refer to Momentum Lab as an experiment-based coaching program or a goal accelerator.

But it’s beyond that. It’s a deep investigation into Purpose, Vision, and what it takes to achieve our goals in every area of life.

If you’re interested in falling in love with who you are, what you’re doing, or what you’re surrounded with, there’s two roads:

1. Accepting what is

2. Transforming your situation

We help you do both. 

The best way of learning more is to sign up for our weekly email: (Momentum) Lab Notes

http://momentumlab.com/podcast

In this episode I talk with Relationship Therapist and Coach Dan Anear about conflict in relationships and specifically, the role our emotions play in conflict. For decades the conventional wisdom was “leave your emotions” at the door. Dan would like to challenge that. He also brings in his work with Terry Real’s Relational Life Institute, and reminds us that so often “The Thing is not The Thing”: that our conflicts are deeper than they appear.

This show, Ten Thousand Heroes, is about addressing conflict and difference with unconditional love. 

How would we treat each other if we assumed every person we met was a hero in disguise?

How would our society and culture change if we did that?

No matter how complex and messy things get: The only way out is through.

Show Links:

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF_C56bjm3HPYOvdWEfnWtw

Voicemail:  https://www.speakpipe.com/10khshow

Email: [email protected]

Podcast website: http://momentumlab.com/podcast

Momentum Lab: http://www.momentumlab.com

Guest References:

website is https://danielanear.com

podcast: https://danielanear.com/podcast/

instagram: @danielanearrelationshipcoach

facebook: facebook.com/danielanearrelationshiptherapy

youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@convergentlyspeakingpodcas9620

About our sponsor:

10,000 Heroes is brought to you by Momentum Lab. 

I normally refer to Momentum Lab as an experiment-based coaching program or a goal accelerator.

But it’s beyond that. It’s a deep investigation into Purpose, Vision, and what it takes to achieve our goals in every area of life.

If you’re interested in falling in love with who you are, what you’re doing, or what you’re surrounded with, there’s two roads:

1. Accepting what is

2. Transforming your situation

We help you do both. 

The best way of learning more is to sign up for our weekly email: (Momentum) Lab Notes

http://momentumlab.com/podcast

Shilpa Jain has been mediating, facilitating, and working with conflict since she was a wee lass.

In this episode she gives a rough outline of “FeedForward”, a feedback technique that aims to bridge the advantages of effective and relational feedback in the corporate and non-profit settings.

It’s something that every single one of us can use in our lives, probably every day. 

So important I’ll probably make a snazzy video about the technique (but when?)

We also get into:

Why is it so hard to ask for feedback (or feedforward)?

To give it?

To receive it?

And we’ll explore those questions in further detail in an upcoming episode, I hope.

What did this episode awaken in you? Don’t be shy.

https://www.speakpipe.com/10khshow

Pssst, remember: The only way out is through.

Show Links:

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF_C56bjm3HPYOvdWEfnWtw

Voicemail:  https://www.speakpipe.com/10khshow

Email: [email protected]

Podcast website: http://momentumlab.com/podcast

Momentum Lab: http://www.momentumlab.com

Guest References:

Shilpa’s Blog: https://shilpajain.substack.com/

About our sponsor:

10,000 Heroes is brought to you by Momentum Lab. 

I normally refer to Momentum Lab as an experiment-based coaching program or a goal accelerator.

But it’s beyond that. It’s a deep investigation into Purpose, Vision, and what it takes to achieve our goals in every area of life.

If you’re interested in falling in love with who you are, what you’re doing, or what you’re surrounded with, there’s two roads:

1. Accepting what is

2. Transforming your situation

We help you do both. 

The best way of learning more is to sign up for our weekly email: (Momentum) Lab Notes

http://momentumlab.com/podcast

What did this episode awaken in you?

 Don’t be shy. 

https://www.speakpipe.com/10khshow

April Rinne’s whole message is about Flux. Flow, change, flexibility, rolling with the punches, and paying attention.

That’s how I capture it, at least. Her actual 8 flux superpowers are here: https://fluxmindset.com/8-superpowers

In keeping with the theme, this interview is long and flowing. I did minimal editing to show how the conversation naturally progressed, as a demonstration (in one realm) of what April is bringing to the world.

There is a ton of wisdom about dealing with change and how to see our own story as part of the episode, as well as some really beautiful reflection and storytelling from April on what led her to who she is today.

Enjoy!

Show Links:

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF_C56bjm3HPYOvdWEfnWtw

Voicemail:  https://www.speakpipe.com/10khshow

Email: [email protected]

Podcast website: http://momentumlab.com/podcast

Momentum Lab: http://www.momentumlab.com

Guest References:

Flux Mindset Website:  https://fluxmindset.com/

April’s Website (check out the handstands page!): https://aprilrinne.com/

About our sponsor:

10,000 Heroes is brought to you by Momentum Lab. 

I normally refer to Momentum Lab as an experiment-based coaching program or a goal accelerator.

But it’s beyond that. It’s a deep investigation into Purpose, Vision, and what it takes to achieve our goals in every area of life.

If you’re interested in falling in love with who you are, what you’re doing, or what you’re surrounded with, there’s two roads:

1. Accepting what is

2. Transforming your situation

We help you do both. 

The best way of learning more is to sign up for our weekly email: (Momentum) Lab Notes

http://momentumlab.com/podcast

What did this episode awaken in you? Don’t be shy.

https://www.speakpipe.com/10khshow

#Flux #flow #freedom #roll #flexibility #Magic #TaiChi #Attention #Concentration 

Most of us love avoiding conflict...

 ...if love is evaluated on the basis of our actions rather than our words.

 And there's some really good reasons the mind avoids conflict.

1. You can't lose if you don't play (risk-averse)

2. Conflict means somebody (you) f*cked up. (guilt/shame)

There's also another really good reason the body avoids conflict.

3. We don't know the difference between life-threatening conflict and ego-threatening conflict

As you probably know, I'm not actually here to congratulate you on avoiding conflict.

So in this episode, I'll go over those three (good) reasons to avoid conflict. I'll point why they're good and what negative consequences they have.

And then I'll give a simple 7-word heuristic to help you determine when conflict avoidance is the right thing (and when it's not).

Show Links:

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF_C56bjm3HPYOvdWEfnWtw

Voicemail:  https://www.speakpipe.com/10khshow

Email: [email protected]

Podcast website: http://momentumlab.com/podcast

Momentum Lab: http://www.momentumlab.com

About our sponsor:

10,000 Heroes is brought to you by Momentum Lab. 

I normally refer to Momentum Lab as an experiment-based coaching program or a goal accelerator.

But it’s beyond that. It’s a deep investigation into Purpose, Vision, and what it takes to achieve our goals in every area of life.

If you’re interested in falling in love with who you are, what you’re doing, or what you’re surrounded with, there’s two roads:

1. Accepting what is

2. Transforming your situation

We help you do both. 

The best way of learning more is to sign up for our weekly email: (Momentum) Lab Notes

http://momentumlab.com/podcast

Alternative Titles :

When Avoiding Conflict Is The Right Strategy

When To Engage in Conflict

When You're Right to Avoid a Conflict (And how to know)

What did this episode awaken in you? Don’t be shy.

https://www.speakpipe.com/10khshow

This is a different kind of episode. 

I ended up meeting my guest in person, which, hilariously, is actually much tricker to record than meeting online. I had a videocamera I was playing with and found it really difficult to have us both on the camera at the same time and not look weird.

So I edited the excerpts of our conversations into 5 different video clips which I've posted separately on YouTube. Even though you'll hear the audio now, they're worth watching because Nala has a captivating screen presence and some cool clothes, and the passion that will surely come across on audio is even amplified on video.

Here are the topics she covers:

1. White people don't exist

2. The relationship between anti-racism, ancestor work, and grief

3. Why her ancestors had to be obsessed with race

4. How to talk to your ancestors

5. How grief can (and should) be ecstatic

I ask you, when you engage with Nala's material, to leave aside the question of whether you "agree" with her or whether she is "right". And to instead focus on what, if anything, can I learn from this approach.

Especially if you experience offense or challenge or another strong emotion. What opportunity for transcendence is encased in that emotion, that reaction? If we couldn't avoid it and had to go through it, where would we arrive?

Of course, for me, the most important of Nala's messages is the possibility for us to relate differently to grief. As the Buddha loves pointing out, sickness, death, poverty, loss, and other forms of suffering are human universals. Every single one of us has occasion to experience grief. What do we do with that? 

Many people avoid it. Or suppress it. Or make do. Try to accept it. Try to move on. 

It's something that can neither be expected nor controlled. At my best I feel like I am surrendering to it, not fighting it. And even that is rare.

But Nala's invitation is something else entirely -- to celebrate grief and see it as a gift. What if the whole point of mortality and grief was to give us access to spiritual awakening? What if the death of a friend or a pet or a parent is the easiest 10-day meditation retreat you could imagine, or give you the insight of 3 hits of acid without the acid? Then what? 

That comes in the 5th excerpt, so be patient, skip ahead or check out just that segment on YouTube.

Okay, thanks everyone, and I'm turning the floor over to Nala. 

And remember, The only way out is through.

Show Links:

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF_C56bjm3HPYOvdWEfnWtw

Voicemail:  https://www.speakpipe.com/10khshow

Email: [email protected]

Podcast website: http://momentumlab.com/podcast

Momentum Lab: http://www.momentumlab.com

Guest References:

Contact Nala: https://bwellnow.org/about/

About our sponsor:

10,000 Heroes is brought to you by Momentum Lab. 

I normally refer to Momentum Lab as an experiment-based coaching program or a goal accelerator.

But it’s beyond that. It’s a deep investigation into Purpose, Vision, and what it takes to achieve our goals in every area of life.

If you’re interested in falling in love with who you are, what you’re doing, or what you’re surrounded with, there’s two roads:

Accepting what is

Transforming your situation

We help you do both. 

The best way of learning more is to sign up for our weekly email: (Momentum) Lab Notes

http://momentumlab.com/podcast

#grief #griefjourney #griefdoula #ancestors #ancestorworship #heroism #magic #spirituality #spiritualpath #heroes #10ksubscribers #10kheroes#nalawalla #bwell #griefdoula #griefandloss #racism #race #anthropology #humanism #humanismointegral #integral #meditation #mystic #mysticism #love #ancestralwisdom #ancestralknowledge

So last week I came at you with a whole map of what I'm going to do this season, involving 10 definitions of heroism. 

And this week -- predictably, if you knew me -- I'm not exactly going to do that. But it'll be close.

I’m going to explain why finding our purpose (analytically) is going to be a question of survival in the coming world of AI, Basic Income, Robots, and conflict resolution.

I also made two videos this week, which I posted to YouTube, on conflict resolution. They're both based on the work on Ken Cloke. One is my synthesis of what mediation is, based on the training I took with Ken. The second is 16 definitions of mediation that Ken gave me, rapid fire, with no preparation or reflection, when I was trying to get some funny material for the first video.

I’m including the audio from both of those videos at the end of this episode.

And remember: The only way out is through.

Show Links:

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF_C56bjm3HPYOvdWEfnWtw

Voicemail:  https://www.speakpipe.com/10khshow

Email: [email protected]

Podcast website: http://momentumlab.com/podcast

Momentum Lab: http://www.momentumlab.com

Guest References :

Ken Cloke: https://www.kencloke.com/

 Mediators Beyond Borders: https://mediatorsbeyondborders.org/

 Combatants for Peace: https://cfpeace.org/ 

Ken’s recent book: https://www.amazon.com/Politics-Dialo...

About our sponsor:

10,000 Heroes is brought to you by Momentum Lab. 

I normally refer to Momentum Lab as an experiment-based coaching program or a goal accelerator.

What did this episode awaken in you? Don’t be shy.

https://www.speakpipe.com/10khshow

Welcome to the first interview of Season 6. As you may know, I want to devote this season to Conflict.

I took this course in Mediation, the light has been revealed to me, and now I see every conflict as an integral part of my spiritual path.

And by extension, of your spiritual path as well. 

My guest today is Greg Thomas. He's a musician, he's a producer, he's a scholar. I actually know very little of his credentials, but he's a friend of Jeff Salzman, so I was very excited to talk to him. And he blew me away. I fell in love with this guy and I think you will too.

What I loved the most was how he reframes villainy and antagonism as essential parts of any heroic journey, so look out for that and get ready to be grateful for every difficult person and moment you've ever experienced, because that's the logical corrolary of what he's saying.

And what I appreciated most about Greg was his vulnerability. He could have stayed abstract and talked about music and conflict and racialization and racism, but no, he took it real and talked about his journey with relationships, with polyamory and monogamy and parenthood, and that's part of why I was so taken with him. His honesty and his sincerity, not just the depth of his experience and his analysis.

So thank you Greg and I'm really delighted to present this interview to you all.

Show Links:

Voicemail:  https://www.speakpipe.com/10khshow

Email: [email protected]

Podcast website: http://momentumlab.com/podcast

Momentum Lab: http://www.momentumlab.com

Guest References:

https://www.jazzleadershipproject.com/

https://www.tuneintoleadership.com/blog

https://twitter.com/gregthomas22

About our sponsor:

10,000 Heroes is brought to you by Momentum Lab. 

I normally refer to Momentum Lab as an experiment-based coaching program or a goal accelerator.

But it’s beyond that. It’s a deep investigation into Purpose, Vision, and what it takes to achieve our goals in every area of life.

If you’re interested in falling in love with who you are, what you’re doing, or what you’re surrounded with, there’s two roads:

1. Accepting what is

2. Transforming your situation

We help you do both. 

The best way of learning more is to sign up for our weekly email: (Momentum) Lab Notes

http://momentumlab.com/podcast