Uniquely Brilliant Podcast

Becky and Diana share things that no one ever told them.

No one ever told us:

• Diana - I could reject a job offer that didn’t feel like the right fit.
• Becky - Not everyone is going to get you, and that’s okay!
• Diana - I didn’t have to be part of only one core group.
• Becky - Not everyone is an extrovert, and introverts bring so much to the table!
• Diana – It’s just as easy to believe things are working in our favor as it is to believe they are not.
• Becky – We can take what we like and leave the rest.

Becky and Diana explore the idea that our thoughts create our reality. 

• Our brains automatically search for memories that validate our thoughts.
• We have to train our brains to focus on what we really want.
• The Reticular Activating System in our brain picks and chooses what we notice.
• Leaders who use fear and propaganda have all used attention getting techniques like identifying people as “other” to influence how citizens think about what’s happening around them.
• The energy we put behind a thought helps manifest the thought.
• When we settle for what we don’t want, there is no room for what we do want.
• When we decide not to settle, the world opens up to show us the possibilities.
• Our verbal and body language convey what we are really thinking.
• We can shift our energy by creating energy transition rituals using sensory association (listening to favorite music, drinking a favorite beverage, wearing our favorite clothes, etc.) before we enter situations where we need to present our best selves.
• We need to embrace everything that interests us.

Becky and Diana discuss the importance of acknowledging and owning our wins. 

• Somewhere in the growing-up process we are taught that boasting and being proud of ourselves is the same thing. It’s not!
• It’s critical to both recognize a compliment and give it value.
• If we don’t own our wins we stay stuck where we are, particularly at work.
• The negative conversations in our heads block out the compliments.
• Creating Win Jars gives us a place to capture our wins so we can revisit them when we need encouragement.
• Also, creating a fan mail file containing all the emails, notes, compliments we’ve received gives us another place to reacquaint ourselves with our wins.
• When we receive compliments, they are the truth. The negative voices in our heads that create self-doubt are the lies.
• We must create a habit of positive response to compliments, so that we internalize our successes.
• When we are aware of our wins, we will experience more of them!

Becky and Diana continue to explore David Allen’s book, Getting Things Done, this time focusing on planning a project. 

• Project - An outcome that requires more than one step.
• 90% of the work we do each day should be the next step of a project.
• We tend to react to our day instead of planning it out.
• Establishing a purpose for a project drives it and keeps it going.
• “People love to win. If you’re not totally clear about the purpose of what you’re doing, you have no game to win.” – David Allen
• In order for a multi-person project to work, everyone needs to agree on the vision (the intended outcome).
• A strong vision gives us an idea of what our completed project will look like.
• Brainstorming allows us to generate many ideas to work from.
• When we capture our brainstorming, we have even more ideas.
• Organize only to the detail that you need to.
• Plans are not always linear.
• Reviewing the plan is a key piece of planning.

Becky and Diana explore concepts from David Allen’s book, Getting Things Done. 

In Getting Things Done, David Allen describes a 5 step process to master productivity. The steps: Capture, Clarify, Organize, Reflect, and Engage.

Capture:

• Get every idea, task, and to-do item out of your head and put it somewhere.
• Whether you use an app, a whiteboard, a notebook, or something else, find a place you trust to store your ideas.
• Developing this habit prevents the cognitive load of incompletions (Roy Baumeister).

Clarify:

• Process the ideas.
• Ask “Is this important to me now?”
• Ask “Does it add value?”
• Use the 2 minute rule. If it only takes 2 minutes to deal the item, do it immediately.

Organize:

• Where does this belong?
• Give ideas and projects a priority.
• What do I need get done today?

Reflect:

• Review what your tasks and projects so you learn to trust your choices.
• Schedule time for reflection.
• Reflection creates more clarity.

Engage:

• DO SOMETHING!
• Take the first step.
• Don’t let worrying about the end result paralyze you and keep you from moving forward.

Becky Berry and Diana Bader discuss the concept of Essentialism. 

• Our modern concept of Essentialism is based on the book, Essentialism, by Greg McKeown.
• We tend to believe we have to do it all; that it’s wrong to delegate or even drop tasks.
• We can ask ourselves is, “Am I the best choice to do what needs to be done in this situation?”
• When other people are actually the priority (like kids, partners (at home or at work), or employees), it’s crucial to get their input about what makes them feel like they are a priority.
• When we know our priorities, it becomes easier to delegate or let go of things that don’t honor them.
• We do our best when we focus on what we do best.
• Just because we can do more doesn't mean we should.
• Being busy does not equal being productive.
• We can filter opportunities through the Essentialism lens and choose the best ones for us.
• When our priorities are respected we feel valued.

Becky and Diana explore the relationship between traction and friction. 

• Traction helps us navigate all terrains.
• Friction helps traction move us forward.
• Many people get stuck in the friction.
• Friction leaves tracks to mark our progress.
• The bigger the idea the more powerful the friction.
• Obstacles can be crushed under the weight of traction.
• We have become so resistant to friction that we have lost our ability to deal with it and have created rules to avoid it.
• New ideas always create friction before they gain traction.
• Traction is a function of friction and momentum is the energy produced from traction.
• We don’t get traction, we gain traction.

Becky and Diana challenge us all to stop the incredibly destructive habit of comparing ourselves to others. 

• There are so many shoulds to sort through!
• Often our comparisons are fleeting thoughts that have a big impact.
• We must trust ourselves and affirm that we know what to do.
• Comparison keeps us focused outwardly instead of on ourselves.
• When we compare ourselves to others we limit who we are.
• To be our best selves we have to declare, “I know/ am enough to take action!”
• Key questions: Where am I right now? How am I feeling? Am I uncomfortable because I’m stretching or does it just feel wrong?
• When we are grateful for our journey we can trust and act.
• There is no room for growth or progress when we are stuck in comparison mode.

Becky and Diana explore the correlation between being open to different options and our ability to move through tough situations. 

• Leaving room to find other options is the true test of a growth mindset.
• When considering other options we need to focus on what we want to accomplish the most.
• Being immersed in a situation makes it hard for us to see our options.
• We don’t have control of every situation, but we do have control of our response to them.
• Three beliefs that can keep us stuck are personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence.
• Radical self-forgiveness reminds us that we did the best we could with what we had in each situation we found ourselves in.
• There is always room for other options.
• Just because a situation is negative doesn’t mean there can’t be positive outcomes.
• We are more than what happens to us.
• We can’t force change.

Becky and Diana discuss how taking vacations improves our body, mind, soul, and even our productivity! 

• We like to believe we are irreplaceable.
• When we are drained we cannot serve our constituents as a whole person.
• We live in a society that believes every moment must be filled with activity.
• We have to carve out the space to take breaks.
• Taking breaks allows us to release ourselves from our responsibilities on our terms – before we fall apart.
• Everyone finds rejuvenation in their own way.
• Breaks allow us to make room for new things.
• Things we didn’t even know we need can come to us both during and following a break.
• Vacation vs Trip. Vacation: We let go of our core responsibilities. Trip: Same stuff, different location.
• We can intentionally schedule vacation moments into a trip.