Uniquely Brilliant Podcast

“Faith is not about everything being okay. Faith is about being okay no matter how things turn out.”    ~ Unknown

• Recorded March 31, 2020
• We can be a phoenixes and rise from the ashes of uncertainty. We can avoid being ostriches.
• It’s important to remember there is always another side in a crisis situation.
• Uncertainty is real life right now for everyone. When we embrace the imperfection, we get through it with less damage.
• We are grieving our former lives. It cannot be business or life as usual.
• False positive encouragement makes us feel worse.
• As we shelter-at-home, we are getting reacquainted with ourselves – whether we want to or not.
• We’re experiencing a major shift as we reprioritize what is truly important to us.
• We can give ourselves permission to feel all of it.
• We can figure out what helps us get through the day and do just that, no more.
• Some days are just going to be better than others, and that has to be okay.

“What if the whole world shifted from the undisciplined pursuit of more to the disciplined pursuit of less… only better?” - Greg McKeown (Essentialism)

• Recorded March 24, 2020
• Essentialism helps us develop life skills.
• It adapts to life’s seasons.
• We have the ability to build great relationships by asking important questions like What are your boundaries? of the people around us.
• Understanding what is essential to those around you will ease conflict.
• It is important to keep what is essential to us in mind right now.
• Living in the moment is essential in a crisis and mitigates uncertainty.
• Saying “no” creates boundaries, enhances time management, and keeps us thinking clearly.
• Knowing what is essential to us allows us to manage more smoothly in a crisis and gives us a sense of control.
• Deciphering whether something builds us up or tears us down will show us which actions to take.
• Identify the things that give you calm and peace and allow yourself to do them.
• We recorded an earlier episode on Essentialism: Episode 88

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

- Nelson Mandela

• This episode was recorded on March 10, 2020 during the Novel Coronovirus outbreak in the USA.
• What the heck! moments happen when it’s hard to identify the truth.
• There are ways to take action using social media, but we may have to look for them.
• Our current form of community (social media, virtual) can make supportive efforts seem invisible.
• A scarcity mindset can send us into victim mode.
• It’s helpful to bounce things off people with different perspectives, instead of always drawing opinions from the same pond.
• It is easier than ever to go to the source and get to the truth.
• When we realize we have a choice and act on that, we become proactive and move away from being a victim.
• Sometimes we just have to let feelings wash over us and sit with them.
• It helps to remember we have made it through challenges before.
• What the heck! moments can lead to too much “What if?” thinking. We can break the cycle by focusing on what we can do.

Becky and Diana have mentioned the value of pausing in so many episodes they decided the concept deserves an episode of its own.

• Pauses allow us to gauge and check our perspectives.
• Stopping our momentum allows us to check where we are.
• A Vigilance Break allows us to stop before we start something and make sure everything is in place.
• Time-Out is a parental pause.
• If we don't take the time to pause, we can’t regain our perspective.
• Pausing prevents us from reacting to a situation too quickly.
• Do not pause and hold your breath! Breathe!
• We make more mistakes when we don’t pause.
• Pauses let us regain our balance.
• Pause = Rest & Recovery

Becky and Diana discuss how a change in perspective can change everything. 

• Perspective is examining things from a particular point of view.
• Sometimes we need to change our perspective on a task before we can successfully accomplish it.
• Since other people’s perspectives can shift ours, it’s important to cultivate people with the right perspectives.
• When we experience success in a venture, it can shift our perspective.
• When we want someone to shift – or we want to shift - we have to give or take the time and space to allow the shift to happen.
• Creating or finding a catalyst can help us shift.
• It’s important to be aware of and recognize when we need to shift.
• Reading books, watching videos and movies, seeking education, and being aware and open help all expand our perspective.
• Not everyone wants a perspective change.
• When we feel stuck, it’s usually a sign that we need a new perspective.

Stamp of Brilliance:  Poll for perspective instead of approval.

Becky and Diana examine how we set ourselves up to fail. 

• It’s never intentional.
• We over estimate our resources.
• Things either fall away because they have to or we can choose to let them go.
• We often take an all or nothing attitude.
• There is never a perfect time to do anything, so what can you do now to change things up?
• Sometimes we have to focus on what is working and move forward from there.
• We stay stuck out of stubbornness because we know we can do it all eventually, but do we really have to? And do we have to it this way?
• We have to shift our mindset so we can recognize what is not working.
• We can create a catalyst to create a shift.
• Too often we find ourselves thinking: If it matters to me, and I matter to you, it should matter to you too. (Ummmm…not if you haven’t communicated it to me clearly!)

Becky and Diana explore the games people play even without realizing they’re doing it. 

• A game is anything that prohibits straight talk and honest exchange.
• We can cultivate the people around us who don’t play games.
• Keeping personal information close and revealing it slowly isn’t a game.
• Parenting often unfolds as a game.
• Strategy is a part of any game. It can be used to achieve a positive outcome.
• Playing games is a learned behavior. We often don’t realize we are playing them.
• Being true to ourselves is the best defense against the game players.
• Games are often easier because there are rules to follow.
• Fear can keep us participating destructive games.
• Playing games is always about protecting ourselves.

Becky and Diana discuss how a fresh start can give new life to an old plan.  

• You can just start over.
• A fresh start makes it easier to start and leave the history behind.
• When we step up and identify a different approach to a situation it opens us to even more approaches.
• A fresh start allows us to see things with new eyes.
• Every fresh start begins with taking that first step.
• Resiliency happens when you believe that a fresh start is possible.
• If we can exercise hindsight, we can exercise foresight.
• Sometimes we have to start over to create forward progress.
• If it’s not working for you, start over.
• Whose plan are you on?

Becky and Diana talk about the different values we place on our gifts and skills. 

• We're trained to give away our gifts (talents).
• Just because our gifts come easily to us doesn’t mean they come easy to everybody.
• If our talents aren’t valued by certain people, we don’t feel valued by them either.
• Our talents (gifts) set us apart from people with similar skills.
• What did you want to be when you grew up?
• Do companies really hire for soft skills?
• It’s important to not take the hiring process personally.
• We can intentionally determine how much of our talent we want to give away (Becky has a budget for this).
• Sometimes giving our talents away for free doesn't mean we can’t have a larger payout.
• We have to identify and name our gifts and talents so we recognize when we’re giving them away.

Becky and Diana challenge us to assess the stories we tell ourselves. 

• Our stories are how we present ourselves to the world.
• All of our stories can be true, and we get to choose which one we live in.
• We can change the stories we tell ourselves.
• Communicating an attitude of gratitude in our stories makes it hard to stay stuck in the negative.
• Victimhood is frequently the default story, but it doesn’t have to be.
• Attachment to the past and to expectations makes us victims in our stories.
• What if things could work out better than we can even imagine?
• Uncoachable clients choose to stay stuck in their negative story.
• Surround yourself with people who value your story.
• Stories enforce our boundaries.