Trauma-Informed Parenting

Let's talk about religious trauma. Because this is Trauma-Informed Parenting, I’m going to focus on viewing my points through the lens of a child. Let’s imagine a child comes through the door of your church carrying a heavy load of trauma, emotional wounds, and the inability to regulate. Maybe this child also has sensory issues. Not only are the lights and sounds overwhelming, but adults are loud and getting in his face. Because he can’t control his wiggly body and he is operating in his downstairs brain -fight, flight, fawn, or freeze, he is corrected over and over. BERATED. Told he needs to behave. Grab a cup of coffee and join me as I talk about three habits your church can practice to reduce religious trauma!

Diane joins me on the podcast for the second week in a row to talk about a few super important topics – Having a  body safety plan and some important (mind blowing) facts about kiddos and pornography. Why is it on the rise?

Diane says:

The child safety work I do is three-fold.

1. I believe adults should keep kids safe. So I equip them to do that very thing. 
2. Because I know adults can’t be everywhere all the time, I also equip kids to recognize, avoid, escape, and/or report abuse events–potential or actual.
3. In addition, I’m an advocate for sexual abuse survivors. Supporting and encouraging other survivors is very important to me.

Grab a cup of coffee and join us as Diane teaches us about this super-important topic!

Diane Tarantini, a child safety educator and survivor of child sexual abuse, joins me in this episode. She shares her three top tips for child safety!

"One in 10 kids will be sexually abused by the time they’re 18. It’s a heartbreaking statistic, isn’t it? However, that number is actually an improvement over what it used to be. Which means child safety efforts are working. Which means prevention is possible."- Diane

Grab your headphones and your coffee and join us as Diane shares three super important tips. Before you go, hop on over to Diane's website and grab her "How to Keep Kids Safe Guide: 20 Tips From A Body Safety Expert."

Self-compassion is a super important concept and I'm so glad Dr. Jerrod is back to talk about it!

It doesn’t matter if you’re a parent or a nonparent. Having more self-compassion is really linked to so many health benefits. Brain-based health, body, emotional, social, and the list goes on. We can’t go wrong with infusing these principles into our day-to-day life, for parenting, for family, for friends, on the job, and whatever we do. I think this can enhance our overall health and well-being and outlook on life.

Grab a cup of coffee and listen to this discussion about self-compassion. Dr. Jerrod includes a list of fourteen benefits of practicing self-compassion!

Tina Hamilton is the founder of The Burnt Bean where she is an inner child healing coach. She works with moms who are exhausted, burnt out, and frustrated - either in parenting or in life in general - to uncover their deepest wounds and messages that have them living life in the margins. She provides strategies and resources they need to live a life in alignment with the vision they hold for themselves.    In this episode, we discussed:   - the transition to motherhood and how school does not prepare you for what lies ahead - the skills needed in parenthood that are missing from education - the inner child and how it shows up in your parenting every day - three things you need to know about the inner child and why it is important   You can learn more about Tina and the work she is doing at www.theburntbean.com/connect or on Instagram (@the.burnt.bean).   

Continuing our series - Things We Didn't Learn in School, I dig into three childhood messages that become beliefs and triggers -this is a skeletal list to get the conversation started. When these three areas are judged, attacked, or dismissed, our kiddos form beliefs about themselves, the family, and the world around them.

Physical attributes -Physical attributes cannot be changed. We don’t want our kiddos going through life like chameleons, changing their appearance to meet whatever the standard happens to be that day.

Interests And/Or Habits-When our kiddos are judged for their special interests, it injures not only their beliefs about themselves but the world around them. They begin to believe there is no place in this world for them.

Talent or gifts. Are your kiddos being judged for talents or gifts that are unique to your community or family? Is quelling their interest teaching them that they are somehow “wrong” and need to fix themselves by burying their talents?

Grab a cup of coffee and join me as I share my personal experiences so you can understand your children's beliefs, triggers, and trauma.

Amber Stewart returns to the podcast to share the polyvagal ladder. She is passionate about raising awareness about the polyvagal theory. 

We can't help our children if we can't help ourselves when it comes to understanding the polyvagal theory.

Amber shares not only the science but some practical tips!

If you're an email subscriber, you'll receive a free pdf of the polyvagal ladder! (Sign up here ).

Grab a cup of coffee, a notebook, and a pen, and get ready to learn while you listen!

 

 

Amber Stewart joins me in this episode about emotional intelligence. She has a powerful perspective as an adoptive/foster mom. She knows all about helping your kiddos make gains in emotional intelligence.

When kids have experienced trauma or have a Capital Letter Syndrome (FASD, ADHD, GAD, ASD, etc...), we need extra education and practical tips on the topic of emotional intelligence -which is exactly what this episode is all about. 

Grab a cup of coffee and join Amber and me as we chat about emotional intelligence!

Dr. Jerrod joins me again for this jam-packed, educational episode on Emotional Intelligence. Here's a Dr. Jerrod quote from the episode -

"People with high levels of emotional intelligence typically have better interpersonal communication skills where they're more empathetic, they understand cooperation, they engage in constructive communication. They don't avoid conflict. They stick with it, but they don't become completely dysregulated. But they know how to tap into their resources and communicate and work things out. Maybe they're not going to be aggressive. They're going to be assertive, but they can name their emotions, label their emotions, and hang in there when things get tough. Adaptability is another big, big component of emotional intelligence. People with high levels of emotional intelligence are typically more adaptable, more flexible, and they're able to really cope with change and uncertainty and fear and worry and just the unknown."

After explaining the definition of emotional intelligence, Dr. Jerrod digs into the weeds of kiddos with trauma histories and brain-based impairment, prenatal drug, and alcohol exposure- there might be structural damage to parts of their brain that can absolutely impact emotional intelligence. 

Grab a cup of coffee and join us. You don't want to miss this important episode!

In this episode, I'm sharing 5 habits every trauma-informed parenting needs to practice. Honestly, I recorded this because I needed a reboot in these habits -

When raising kiddos with trauma histories and/or Capital Letter Syndromes (FASD, ADHD, GAD, ASD, SPD, etc...) we parents need habits to keep us healthy- emotionally, spiritually, and physically. We can develop what experts refer to as "compassion fatigue" (read more about that here). What if we could develop some habits that help us proactively avoid slipping into patterns of fatigue and the desire to give up (more often)?

Grab a cup of coffee and join me as I share these five simple habits along with my personal stories and experiences!