Birth Ease Loss Support

Michelle and Naima Bond discuss the experience of supporting families through pregnancy and infant loss as doulas. Naima shares her own story of pregnancy loss and how that inspired her to do additional training in perinatal loss as she became a birth professional. Naima explains some of the challenges that African American families can face in receiving compassionate care, understanding, and support when they are experiencing perinatal loss. She also shares tips for grieving families and for those supporting them. 

"So that's what I would say. The support of people who truly love you and just knowing, fortunately, or unfortunately, that other people are going through the same thing; and, that you are not alone [makes a difference]."—Naima Bond

About Naima Bond:

Naima Bond, M.Ed. has been serving children and families for over 25 years in the area of early childhood and disabilities. She has recently shifted her focus to supporting mothers through the birthing process. She is a certified Birth Doula with the Matron and is also going through her DONA certification. She has been associated with Calm Birth and completed the program in 2017 and then became a Calm Birth teacher trainer in 2019. Naima was brought up with meditation as a child. She learned about Calm Birth through APPPAH and knew it was a practice she wanted to include in her birth business. She supports families in her private practice and is assisting Calm Birth in teaching Calm Birth to other birth and wellness practitioners. She resides in Atlanta Ga. with her sons Mashante and LaParish.

Connect with Naima Bond: 

Website: http://www.oyabirthandwellnesss.com/

Email:  [email protected]

Instagram: @naimadanita

 

Resources:

https://sistersinloss.com/

https://rtzhope.org/

https://blackmamasmatter.org/

https://4kira4moms.com/

 

Nneka Hall: 

https://pailadvocates.mypixieset.com/about/

https://www.annaya.org/about-us/nneka-hall

Nenka Hall’s PAIL Summit 2021:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/advocating-pregnancy-and-infant-loss-conference-october-2021-tickets-172272059367

 

Episodes mentioned: Gary Vogel  S1 E11 & E12, Diana Kelley  S1 E7, and Amy Wright Glenn S1 E18. 

 

Connect with Rev. Michelle:

Website:  BirthEaseServices.com /loss-support

Facebook:   Birth Ease Baby Loss Support

Instagram:   @birtheaselossssupport

LinkedIn:  Birth Ease Michelle Smith

Thank you for listening! Remember, you are not alone in your grief. 

Michelle has an open and raw conversation with Matt, who lost his daughter, Rowan, to a stillbirth. Matt candidly shares the journey of baby loss from the father's perspective. He describes how grief, through no fault of your own, can create a sense of being ostracized by those around you. Because of the unique nature of perinatal loss, Matt explains how grieving parents inadvertently often end up comforting those around them. Michelle and Matt discuss how the loss of a child can shake the foundation of your belief system, how you understand the universe, and even your place in the world. Matt also points out that sharing unsolicited religious beliefs in an attempt to comfort someone mourning can often inadvertently have a profound effect on their grief — it can cause anger, sadness, increase their sorrow or compound the burden that they are already carrying. 

"Because to be honest, a loss of a child isn't fair. No matter how it happens, it just is not fair. And that is something to be angry about." — Matt, Rowan's father

 

Connect with Rev. Michelle:

Website:  BirthEaseServices.com /loss-support

Facebook:   Birth Ease Baby Loss Support

Instagram:   @birtheaselossssupport

LinkedIn:  Birth Ease Michelle Smith

Thank you for listening! Remember, you are not alone in your grief. 

Michelle honors October 15th: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. She has created a guided relaxation recording geared towards parents grieving the loss of a baby or a child. However, it can be helpful for anyone walking through the journey of grief. The intention is to help release some of the heaviness of our grief and to provide an opportunity to feel the love and connection that we have with our beloved child or loved one.   If you would like a version of this guided relaxation session geared towards the loss of any loved one, please simply contact us through the website. We would be honored to send it to you.

If you are interested in a short guided meditation for grief and loss, please listen to S1 E9 A Short Meditation for Baby Loss. 

As a gentle reminder, this guided relaxation recording audio is for just that, relaxation purposes only. It does not constitute medical or mental health advice or treatment, nor does it imply a specific outcome during bereavement or beyond. Please avoid listening to this guided relaxation recording while engaged in an activity that requires your full attention. Please stop the podcast and return to it when you can be safely seated or reclining in a supported position. Unless you are a passenger listening to this guided relaxation with headphones on, for everyone’s safety never listen to it while driving or riding in a vehicle.

Resource:

Holding on to Love After You've Lost a Baby: The 5 Love Languages® for Grieving Parents

 

Connect with Rev. Michelle:

Website:  BirthEaseServices.com /loss-support

Facebook:   Birth Ease Baby Loss Support

Instagram:   @birtheaselossssupport

LinkedIn:  Birth Ease Michelle Smith

Thank you for listening! Remember, you are not alone in your grief. 

When families experience pregnancy and infant loss, the focus and support is most often directed towards moms. Yet, this can leaves fathers to navigate their grief silently and with few resources. In this episode, Adam Angel, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, candidly shares about the loss of their first child at 22 weeks of pregnancy and how that inspired him to create an online support group for grieving fathers. Adam explains that men and women can grieve differently, how childhood trauma can impact how someone grieves, as well as tips for bereaved couples. 

"This birth loss, perinatal loss is really a *disenfranchised grief. It's one that no one wants to talk about. That it's difficult for other folks in the space to be there. There's no ritualization in general, no wider community. It feels hidden, in like, we don't want to burden others with it. Whereas, any other losses are recognized and even celebrated in some cultures, right? This is one that doesn't feel that. It feels so hard for anyone to be present with you."—Adam Angel, LCSW-C, LICSW

*Disenfranchised grief is a term describing grief that is not acknowledged as legitimate by society. For example, a loss may be seen as too small or the relationship too distant to justify grieving. Traditional forms of grief are more widely recognized and supported. There are few support systems, rituals, traditions, or institutions such as bereavement leave available to those experiencing disenfranchised grief. Even widely recognized forms of grief can become disenfranchised when well-meaning friends and family attempt to set a time limit on a bereaved person's right to grieve.

Source: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disenfranchised_grief

 

About Adam Angel:

Adam Angel is a licensed clinical social worker with 15 years of experience working with youth, adults, and families. His specializations include postpartum mood and anxiety disorders and developmental trauma. Adam completed his undergraduate at the University of MD and obtained his MSW at Howard University before working in the nonprofit world where he facilitated a number of groups including groups for men.

You can connect with Adam Angel at [email protected]  https://www.adamangeltherapy.com/

Connect with Rev. Michelle:

Website:  BirthEaseServices.com /loss-support

Facebook:   Birth Ease Baby Loss Support

Instagram:   @birtheaselossssupport

LinkedIn:  Birth Ease Michelle Smith

Thank you for listening! Remember, you are not alone in your grief. 

The pain, stress, and trauma that can come with pregnancy and infant loss impacts even the best of relationships. While grief is universal, everyone grieves at their own depth and pace. Men and women can grieve and mourn differently, which may be a source of misunderstanding and hurt feelings. Michelle provides an overview of grieving styles which can be thought of as instrumental and intuitive, as well as tips for couples to help navigate their grief together.

The pain, stress, and trauma that can come with pregnancy and infant loss impacts even the best of relationships.  While grief is universal, everyone grieves at their own depth and pace. Men and women can grieve and mourn differently, which may be a source of misunderstanding and hurt feelings. Michelle provides an overview of grieving styles which can be thought of as instrumental and intuitive, as well as tips for couples to help navigate their grief together.  

 

Connect with Rev. Michelle:

Website:  BirthEaseServices.com /loss-support

Facebook:   Birth Ease Baby Loss Support

Instagram:   @birtheaselossssupport

LinkedIn:  Birth Ease Michelle Smith

Thank you for listening! Remember, you are not alone in your grief. 

Michelle has a beautiful and inspirational conversation with Nydia, mother to Santiago and Mateo. Her insights will benefit anyone traversing the pain of losing a child, a loved one, or some sort of tragedy. During Nydia's eighth month of pregnancy, she lost her beloved older sister to cancer. Approximately a month later, Nydia experienced the stillbirth of her son, which almost cost her her own life, as well. Nydia sagely shares what she found instrumental in her ability to move forward from such intense grief.   

"Suffering happens, I think, when you are in one place and wanting to be somewhere else." — Nydia, Santiago’s mother

 

Connect with Rev. Michelle:

Website:  BirthEaseServices.com /loss-support

Facebook:   Birth Ease Baby Loss Support

Instagram:   @birtheaselossssupport

LinkedIn:  Birth Ease Michelle Smith

 

Thank you for listening! Remember, you are not alone. 

Michelle continues her conversation with Gary Vogel, LMHC perinatal grief expert and founder of HEAL, a Central Florida support group for bereaved parents. Gary shares the beautiful story of The Angel of Hope and how we here in Central Florida acquired our own statue. Together they discuss the vital role of the validation of our grief experience, feelings, and emotions plays; the impacts of the word “should” and the shame it can create; how grief is transformational; and how our US culture no longer has outward signs of bereavement and the value that can bring.   

"I think as a culture, we've gotten much, much better at recognizing that this is something that does take place. The reality is that every year in the United States approximately one million families will experience a pregnancy loss."—Gary Vogel

About Gary Vogel, LMHC:

Gary is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and has been in private practice since 1980 in the Central Florida area. His specialties include dealing with anxiety and depression, addictions, grief & loss (especially the loss of a child), post-traumatic stress, and general "life adjustment".

As a Clinical Psychotherapist and through his own personal experience of losing his daughter, Chelsea, to stillbirth, Gary has helped thousands of parents struggling with the loss of a child.

Gary has been facilitating the support group HEAL (Helping Endure InfAnt Loss) for couples who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss since 1991. He has written three books on the subject of perinatal and neonatal loss. Gary has testified to House and Senate Subcommittees concerning legal issues surrounding these losses. He has lobbied in the state legislature for the passage of a bill to allow parents of a stillborn to receive a certificate of birth resulting in stillbirth. The bill was unanimously passed into law in 2006. Gary has appeared on national and local television, and has traveled across the country speaking on the unique issues experienced by parents who have incurred the loss of a child. Gary is proud to be a member of the Board of Directors for the SIDS Alliance of Florida.

Gary feels his greatest achievement is bringing the Angel of Hope to Central Florida, which hosts two ceremonies a year at our site, one on October 15th, a National Day of Remembrance for Pregnancy & Infant Loss, and December 6th, a day of remembrance at all Angel of Hope sites for parents who have lost a child. 

Resources:

HEAL: Helping Endure infAnt Loss Support Group

Link:   Helping Endure Infant Loss (HEAL)

Angel of Hope Central Florida: 

Facebook: @AngelofHopeCFL

Website: https://angelofhopecfl.wordpress.com/

 

Connect with Rev. Michelle:

Website:  BirthEaseServices.com /loss-support

Facebook:   Birth Ease Baby Loss Support

Instagram:   @birtheaselossssupport

LinkedIn:  Birth Ease Michelle Smith

 

Thank you for listening! Remember, you are not alone in your grief. 

Michelle has a two-part conversion with Gary Vogel, LMHC perinatal grief expert and founder of HEAL, a Central Florida support group for bereaved parents. Together discuss how the loss of a child disrupts our perception of the natural order of things, what grief is and isn't, and the 3 tasks of grieving. Gary shares that the trauma associated with the sudden loss of a child qualifies many bereaved parents for the diagnosis of PTSD and a part of their journey of dealing with their loss is working through that PTSD component. Because of the enormous impact perinatal loss has on a relationship, the divorce rate after the loss of a child is twice the national average. will either tear the relationship apart or make it stronger. Gary explains that everyone’s journey through grief is unique to them, and couples can and do grieve differently. Understanding these differences helps prevent miscommunication and misunderstandings that can happen when one partner imposes their grieving style on the other partner. The experience of losing a child has the capacity to either tear the relationship apart or make it stronger.

"And I think one of the biggest components of that [what grief is and what grief isn't] is that most people have the thought that grieving is about death, and it is not. That is actually a fallacy. That is actually a myth. Grieving is not about death, it is about loss. ...The intensity of our grief is directly proportional to the value to us of who we lost."—Gary Vogel

About Gary Vogel, LMHC:

Gary is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and has been in private practice since 1980 in the Central Florida area. His specialties include dealing with anxiety and depression, addictions, grief & loss (especially the loss of a child), post-traumatic stress, and general "life adjustment".

As a Clinical Psychotherapist and through his own personal experience of losing his daughter, Chelsea, to stillbirth, Gary has helped thousands of parents struggling with the loss of a child.

Gary has been facilitating the support group HEAL (Helping Endure InfAnt Loss) for couples who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss since 1991. He has written three books on the subject of perinatal and neonatal loss. I have testified to House and Senate Subcommittees concerning legal issues surrounding these losses. He has lobbied in the state legislature for the passage of a bill to allow parents of a stillborn to receive a certificate of birth resulting in stillbirth The bill was unanimously passed into law in 2006. He has appeared on national and local television, and has traveled across the country speaking on the unique issues experienced by parents who have incurred the loss of a child. Gary is proud to be a member of the Board of Directors for the SIDS Alliance of Florida.

Gary feels his greatest achievement is bringing the Angel of Hope to Central Florida, which hosts two ceremonies a year at our site, one on October 15th, a National Day of Remembrance for Pregnancy & Infant Loss, and December 6th, a day of remembrance at all Angel of Hope sites for parents who have lost a child. 

 

Resources:

HEAL: Helping Endure infAnt Loss Support Group

Link:   Helping Endure Infant Loss (HEAL)

Angel of Hope Central Florida: 

Facebook: @AngelofHopeCFL

Website: https://angelofhopecfl.wordpress.com/

 

Connect with Rev. Michelle:

Website:  BirthEaseServices.com /loss-support

Facebook:   Birth Ease Baby Loss Support

Instagram:   @birtheaselossssupport

LinkedIn:  Birth Ease Michelle Smith

Thank you for listening! Remember, you are not alone in your grief. 

Michelle shares a guided meditation for baby loss that focuses on using  gentle breathing to help release stress, strain, and the heaviness that is a natural and normal part of grief. It guides the listener to focus on the love that they have for their child to assist in softening the places that they may be holding grief within the body and mind.  It is about 8 minutes long  and can be used daily or as needed. 

As a gentle reminder, this guided relaxation recording audio is for just that, relaxation purposes only. It does not constitute medical or mental health advice or treatment, nor does it imply a specific outcome during bereavement or beyond.  Please avoid listening to this guided relaxation recording while engaged in an activity that requires your full attention. Please stop the podcast and return to it when you can be safely seated or reclining in a supported position. Unless you are a passenger listening to this guided relaxation with headphones on, for everyone’s safety never listen to it while driving or riding in a vehicle.

 

Connect with Rev. Michelle:

Website:  BirthEaseServices.com /loss-support

Facebook:   Birth Ease Baby Loss Support

Instagram:   @birtheaselossssupport

LinkedIn:  Birth Ease Michelle Smith

 

Thank you for listening! Remember, you are not alone in your grief.