Be Inspired Towards Your Success

Did you know that there is a big difference between having the confidence to do something and having competence? We often confuse one with another, and that becomes the source of our failures. Can you remember the last time when you competed? Perhaps it was a competition of singing or a game of badminton or maybe chess? How well did you believe you were at your skill? What about the skills and competence of your opponent? Did you believe that you were better? Was your belief based on your confidence or competence? Suppose you lost. Would you consider that as luck or lack of competence? Were you overconfident? We all have our answers to the above questions, and we can be right about them. What's truly important is the fact that we need always to understand the difference between being confident and being competent. In life, we will always come across situations where we have the confidence to make things happen even though we haven't necessarily done it before. Having confidence doesn't always mean that we have the knowledge, skills and experience. It does mean that we dare to try, and if we fail, we can accept the results as new learnings and add them to our skillset. What can you do: - Practice gratitude. Be thankful for the confidence in your abilities - Practice learning from all your experiences - Practice sharing what you know with every one - Practice knowing that it's okay to fail with confidence because every failure another step towards success Being competent is not always enough. It would help if you also had the confidence to share it with courage. ************************************* Share on WhatsApp: https://chat.whatsapp.com/GioeEB7Osfz0VbeDO9cTba  Share on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPTwJPy73I9LiR_nWN6GQWw Share on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3caoa1MESvl8p5TGJNnT5D?si=DfziomtfSoq6AaRBmrjpIg Chander Shankar NLP Coach and Mentor Enkindle and Empower Pty Ltd http://www.enkindleandempower.com/
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Do you have problems?  Do you wish you didn't have them?  Did you want a life without drama? 
 In life, we always want the easy way out. We want to be in our comfort zone and achieve everything without making a lot of effort. 
 Can you remember at least one or two people in your life who haven't struggled much, yet they have everything you wanted? 
 Can you also remember at least two to three people who have been struggling for success in their lives? Are you one of them? 
 It's our mindset that matters in each situation. If a problem presents itself, should we think more about what could go wrong or how we can learn and grow? 
 We have all heard about "Thinking outside the box". It's where creativity and innovation exist. Right? When we are thinking outside the box, we can deal with situations without constraints and challenges. 
 It seems the right thing to do. Our mind can feel its unlimited potential and can think of numerous options. 
 What if "thinking outside the box" wasn't an option? 
 What if you had to live "inside the box" and work through the challenges and problems? 
 When we are constrained and limited in opportunities, we tend to think more creatively. We try harder and possibly fail faster. That doesn't necessarily make us a failure. We learn and grow more. 
 What can you do: * Practice gratitude. Be thankful for your problems. They are there to help you learn and grow. * Practice working within constraints as it will help you learn more about yourself.  * Practice being uncomfortable so that you can understand how your emotions can help you be resilient.  
 Working with constraints is probably the best thing that can happen to us. We understand discomfort in a new way. We have the opportunity to push ourselves and learn discipline. In this situation, we should conserve our energies, prioritise our actions and get quick feedback from results.   ************************************* Share on WhatsApp: https://chat.whatsapp.com/GioeEB7Osfz0VbeDO9cTba  Share on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPTwJPy73I9LiR_nWN6GQWw Share on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3caoa1MESvl8p5TGJNnT5D?si=DfziomtfSoq6AaRBmrjpIg Chander Shankar NLP Coach and Mentor Enkindle and Empower Pty Ltd http://www.enkindleandempower.com/
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Did you know that Caring is one of the core human values and need? We care for ourselves and others because it is embedded in our DNA. 
 We also equate “Care” via other values such as Love and compassion. Regardless of what we use, caring for ourselves and others is the most critical part of our lives. 
 So why do we forget to take care of ourselves? Why do we inflict so my pain and suffering to our minds by taking stress?
 One of the main reasons is the mistaken belief that if we don’t care for ourselves while taking care of people we love, they will get better. We develop guilt and worry and create a future of negative possibilities. 
 We forget that our Values are not just what we want. It’s also what we give. So, if we have to show CARE, we need to also take care of ourselves.  We have heard the story where a parent is asked to put on their oxygen mask first before putting it on for their children in a plane. It is common sense. Right? 
 Then why does common sense fail us when we are taking care of our loved ones? We become so worried and fear the worst, stop doing our routines, sleep late and suffer. 
 What if we could change all that? What if we could show our loved ones how to be positive and live a good life even during times of distress? 
 Wouldn’t they be happier? Wouldn’t they feel inspired and want to live and love you more? 
 What can we do: * Practice Gratitude. Let’s be thankful for the people in our lives.  * Practice Meditation and Mindfulness. Let’s keep track of our emotions and feelings.  * Practice thinking your thoughts because observation changes behaviour. As soon as you think about what you have on your mind, your thoughts are bound to change. * Practice caring for yourself so that you can care for others.  ************************************* Share on WhatsApp: https://chat.whatsapp.com/GioeEB7Osfz0VbeDO9cTba  Share on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPTwJPy73I9LiR_nWN6GQWw Share on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3caoa1MESvl8p5TGJNnT5D?si=DfziomtfSoq6AaRBmrjpIg Chander Shankar NLP Coach and Mentor Enkindle and Empower Pty Ltd http://www.enkindleandempower.com/
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How does one get triggered for negativity? What specific words do we hear or actions we see that make us start going into a pessimistic mindset? E.g. You are driving, and you see a person changes lanes and slows down in front of you. You suddenly start behaving differently. You are at the dining table and ready to have dinner when someone comments on food quality. You suddenly become angry. You are meeting and discussing an important proposal when someone interrupts and points out grammatical mistakes in your presentation. You suddenly become annoyed and frustrated. One of the dictionary definition of “Priming” is _prepare (someone) for a situation, typically by supplying them with relevant information._ Everyone has such words deep-rooted in their unconscious. As soon as you hear them, the emotions kick in, and we go into that zone automatically. To be able to recover from this situation is very important. One should know that they have been triggered and that it's not personal. Being in control of our emotions and behaviour at this time is crucial. For many, it doesn't come naturally. So what can you do: - Practice Gratitude. Be thankful for your senses that pick up new words and new insights - Practice mindfulness and meditate. It will help you understand your thoughts and emotions - Practice thinking about your thoughts. Just by observing what you are thinking, you can be in more control over your needs and desires - Practice thinking about short term and long term consequences of tour actions When we get triggered with Priming words or actions, our behaviour becomes automatic. The only way to change this automatic behaviour is via consistent practice. ************************************* Share on WhatsApp: https://chat.whatsapp.com/GioeEB7Osfz0VbeDO9cTba  Share on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPTwJPy73I9LiR_nWN6GQWw Share on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3caoa1MESvl8p5TGJNnT5D?si=DfziomtfSoq6AaRBmrjpIg Chander Shankar NLP Coach and Mentor Enkindle and Empower Pty Ltd http://www.enkindleandempower.com/
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If I asked you how many emotions you go through during the entire day, what would you say? What percentage of these emotions are positive and what percentage are negative? I'm sure half of you will be guessing a number. And its okay. We have so many things to do. We don't usually keep a count of our emotions. Our emotions determine our quality of life. When we say that we need to find positives and focus on the future, it's about the associated emotions. In life, we often find it hard to change from negative thinking to positive ones. We already know that observation changes behaviour. An excellent way to switch from one thought to another is to “think what we are thinking.” Let me explain with a quick example. Suppose I had a long day at work and am very tired. All I want is to get home and relax. I get into my car and while driving home, I am constantly bothered by another car that is not following the rules. I start having negative emotions, and it impacts my mood and my driving. When I get home, I am even more agitated and aggressive than usual. What if, that vehicle was an ambulance? What if there was a sick person in the car and they were rushing to the doctor? Would I have the same emotions? Have you heard about the train of thoughts? It’s called a train for a reason. If we start thinking our thoughts and start labelling our emotions, we will realise that we don't have to jump onto that train every time. We can watch it pass and welcome the learnings and insights. So what can you do: - Practice gratitude. Be thankful for your experiences - Practice listing your thoughts multiple times a day. - When there is uneasiness and discomfort, practice thinking about the emotions you are feeling - Label your negative emotions and watch them fade away ************************************* Share on WhatsApp: https://chat.whatsapp.com/GioeEB7Osfz0VbeDO9cTba  Share on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPTwJPy73I9LiR_nWN6GQWw Share on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3caoa1MESvl8p5TGJNnT5D?si=DfziomtfSoq6AaRBmrjpIg Chander Shankar NLP Coach and Mentor Enkindle and Empower Pty Ltd http://www.enkindleandempower.com/
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When was the last time you tried something new? Do you have trouble doing things that make you uneasy? E.g. At work, there is a new team formed, and they are asking volunteers who can help. Specifically, they want you to coordinate knowledge sharing sessions twice a month. It involves reaching out to people whom you don't know. There is little chance of success. What would you do? At home, you want to change that painting on the wall. You know what you want, but you are unable to find it online or in shops. Will you be willing to go that extra yard and make that yourself? Will you try something different? We all face adversity and challenging times in our life when that extra step or an additional effort could make a difference to our success or motivation. Remember the last time you pushed yourself into sports or when you experimented with cooking? However, because of fear of failure or procrastination, we don't do things that could spark our creativity. Imagine if you lived life as a series of experiments? What would happen if you could experiment with each experience and find out what you were good at? What if you learned something new about yourself in the process? The best thing about experimental living is that you always have the opportunity to go back to the status quo. You also don’t feel bad if you fail because that fault is not part of who you are. What can you do: - Practice Gratitude. Let's be thankful for the opportunities we get in our lives. - Practice experimenting with small changes - Practice pushing yourself to do something different each day that helps you learn something more - Practice understanding your mindset for change and learning what emotions you have when you go through the process We tell our children to push themselves, try new things, be creative and challenge their beliefs. Could we possibly start doing the same thing for ourselves? ************************************* Share on WhatsApp: https://chat.whatsapp.com/GioeEB7Osfz0VbeDO9cTba  Share on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPTwJPy73I9LiR_nWN6GQWw Share on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3caoa1MESvl8p5TGJNnT5D?si=DfziomtfSoq6AaRBmrjpIg Chander Shankar NLP Coach and Mentor Enkindle and Empower Pty Ltd http://www.enkindleandempower.com/
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Did you know that one of the main reasons why we don't get 100% results for our actions is because of the various options we keep up our sleeve?  
 Think about the last time you had to buy a TV or a household appliance such as Fridge or Washing Machine? Did you truly need all the features it provides? How often do you need them? But it feels nice to have those options? Right?  
 Could you have spent a hundred or two hundred dollars less and got the thing which would have been sufficient?  
 What about when you had to provide a time estimate to your boss about the work you are doing? Did you add buffer? Did you keep your options open?  
 It's human nature to have more options all the time. We want to have a fallback plan and be comfortable. Can you imagine the kind of thoughts and emotions we have in this case? 
 Now, remember that time when you were working under constraints? Did it make you uncomfortable? Working under limitations, were you able to push yourself and get the job done? Even though you did not have many options, you started thinking creatively and focused more since you had to complete the work.  
 In a study done at MIT, two batches of students were asked to submit their work. The first one was given the option to submit on the due date six weeks away, without any interim review submissions.  
 The second one had to submit the assignment every week for interim review, and then the final submission was due in 6 weeks.  
 Which group do you think passed in flying colours? I would guess it would be group 2.  
 It's always in our control how we want to work for our success. If we always keep all our prospects open, are constantly in our comfort zones, and don't feel the need to push ourselves, perhaps we will always find ourselves in sticky situations.  
 What can you do: * Practice Gratitude. Be thankful for the various opportunities we get in life. * Practice being uncomfortable each day to know what kind of emotions you have.  * Practice learning from your challenging experiences. They will help you grow.  
 ************************************* Share on WhatsApp: https://chat.whatsapp.com/GioeEB7Osfz0VbeDO9cTba  Share on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPTwJPy73I9LiR_nWN6GQWw Share on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3caoa1MESvl8p5TGJNnT5D?si=DfziomtfSoq6AaRBmrjpIg Chander Shankar NLP Coach and Mentor Enkindle and Empower Pty Ltd http://www.enkindleandempower.com/
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Did you know that there is a structure for every spoken language? Think about the following sentences: I am hungry I am late I am happy What kind of thoughts come to your mind? Based on your current context, you may have noticed that you will feel differently at different times in a day. According to Noel Chomsky, our language has two kinds of structures. Surface Structure and Deep Structure. The surface structure is where we take the meaning of the words literally and generally react to them. When we focus on the surface structure, we are easily triggered and can make lots of mistakes. Usually, when there is a negative comment or negative thinking involved, surface structure can also help us make faster decisions to ignore them. The second kind of Structure is the Deep Structure. This is the kind of language that we use in self-talk when we interpret the meaning of words per our model of reality and have long term emotions. The deep structure can be harmful if we don't seek feedback and ask questions. On the contrary, it can be helpful to understand the big picture. Depending on our current situation, we should always consider both of them before making a judgement. So what can you do: - Practice Gratitude. Be thankful for this understanding of language. - Let's be grateful for the various events that give meaning to our life. - Practice understanding the surface and deep structure in every conversation - Practice asking questions and being curious rather than making assumptions and pre-judgements. We all use surface and deep structures unconsciously. Imagine how useful it would be when you are aware of them all the time. ************************************* Share on WhatsApp: https://chat.whatsapp.com/GioeEB7Osfz0VbeDO9cTba  Share on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPTwJPy73I9LiR_nWN6GQWw Share on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3caoa1MESvl8p5TGJNnT5D?si=DfziomtfSoq6AaRBmrjpIg Chander Shankar NLP Coach and Mentor Enkindle and Empower Pty Ltd http://www.enkindleandempower.com/
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*Repeating patterns* Do you know that each one of us has programming of behaviour based on our emotional triggers? E.g. When you go shopping, how do you decide it's the right time to buy a shirt, a dress or a showpiece for your home? Do you remember the last time when you made an impulsive purchase? Can you think of times when you were passing by McDonald's or a candy shop, and you are unable to resist the temptations? What kind of emotional triggers were involved? What were the visual or auditory cues that made you decide? Each one of us has unique behavioural patterns that kick in when such situations happen. These patterns are so automatic that we hardly realise them. Our actions change, and we could do things we might regret later. E.g. When going for a dress purchase, I might have a pattern such as - Seeing the dress (visual) - Imagining myself wearing it (visual) - Feeling confident and happy - Imagining my friends appreciate me for wearing it (hearing feedback) - Waiting for two hours (time) - Imagine myself wearing the dress again (visual) - Decision made The important thing about this example is that there is a hidden pattern of decision making here. If I have to buy a watch or a dress or anything else, I will unconsciously use it the same way every time. In fact, we can even create a formula for the above. In NLP, we learn to recognise these patterns as Strategies. We also understand how to break these patterns or change them for our benefits if they are not helping us create success or excellence. What can you do, and how can you learn more: - Practice Gratitude. The first step is always to be thankful for our experiences - Practise being aware of your emotions - Practice learning your patterns and resisting the urge to do something on impulse - Practice listening to your self-talk that wants to stop you when you are heading towards a decision All of us can make decisions. It's our ability to know how we make them, that can be the difference between good and bad. ************************************* Share on WhatsApp: https://chat.whatsapp.com/GioeEB7Osfz0VbeDO9cTba  Share on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPTwJPy73I9LiR_nWN6GQWw Share on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3caoa1MESvl8p5TGJNnT5D?si=DfziomtfSoq6AaRBmrjpIg Chander Shankar NLP Coach and Mentor Enkindle and Empower Pty Ltd http://www.enkindleandempower.com/
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How do you start bringing change within? Do you follow your passion? How is that helping you achieve success? Recently, while reading a book from Cal Newport, I came across a radical idea that following our passion can be our downfall in our journey towards success. Cal argues that unless we focus on building our skills and gain experience, following our passions would lead us nowhere. I agree with him on the concept of Deliberate Practice. He suggests that we should push ourselves to learn unique and valuable skills that we can utilise in the future for our benefits. When we learn something new, the first 10-15 minutes are crucial. There is resistance to change because of the discomfort it brings along. If we deliberately keep executing our plans, keep learning and practising, the pain gradually goes away. This technique, when used regularly, creates a sense of confidence, a feeling of control and helps us learn to be resilient. We begin to take responsibility for our lives. What can you do to bring changes from within: - Practice Gratitude. Be thankful for your ability to learn and grow - Practice becoming a better person with a skill you are good at. - Deliberately Practice building your value by sharing what you know - Deliberately Practice creating a mission and purpose so that it will move you past the current problems _We all have unlimited potential to achieve everything we want. Perhaps, the only thing missing is Deliberate Practice._ ************************************* Share this message with your friends  https://chat.whatsapp.com/GioeEB7Osfz0VbeDO9cTba  ************************************* Subscribe to my channel: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPTwJPy73I9LiR_nWN6GQWw Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3caoa1MESvl8p5TGJNnT5D?si=DfziomtfSoq6AaRBmrjpIg Chander Shankar NLP Coach and Mentor Enkindle and Empower Pty Ltd http://www.enkindleandempower.com/
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