Our inner beliefs and the perceptions that we have of ourselves can play a big part in keeping us stuck, keeping us small.  They limit the belief that we have about ourselves and our abilities.

Whether you want to believe it or not, the majority of beliefs will have become programmed within us from an early age. A young person aged between 0-7 years old has a mind like a sponge. The mind’s whole purpose is to soak up the information from all around us. It’s how we are programmed, how our brains work and how we learn.

The information that we take on board, can come from everywhere in our lives, everything we see, everything we do and everything that is said to us. All of our experiences, circumstances and the people around us – family, friends, parents, teachers and others shape our beliefs. So does society, television, books, games… the list can go on and on! You get the idea.

Forming Our Beliefs

We form our beliefs from positive statements we hear, positive information and feedback we receive, we create positive inner beliefs which help us to achieve success. However, negativity also influences our beliefs, negative feedback and negative comments can create negative beliefs which hold us back and limit our success. These negative or limiting beliefs become the things we believe about ourselves. Whilst these beliefs are not necessarily true facts about ourselves, they are things we we believe to be true.

For example if someone says “that’s stupid” or “that’s not enough” then we often assume that statement is about us, especially at a young age. It might have been said about an action or piece of work, but at a young age, there is no ability to differentiate, so it is assumed that the comment is about ourselves.

Naturally, our brain fills in the gaps between what we see, what we hear and what happens around us.  Then we may start to form a belief about ourselves that we are stupid. That young person may begin to believe “I am stupid”. This then becomes a self-limiting belief which gets in the way of us achieving our goals, whether we realise it is happening or not!

How Belief Affects Us

There's a story that I tell people who work with me - listen in for that.

We learn these beliefs and if we don’t change them, they become who we are. In order to break free, we have to change those negative beliefs to positive ones. As long as you believe that you cannot accomplish something, you won’t accomplish it. Your inner beliefs define who you are, but inner beliefs can be changed.

When we are able to let go of that belief about ourselves, we are able to see things differently, approach situations differently and respond differently.

If you ever say, “I can’t…” then that is a limiting belief. It is not true, but if it is your belief than it becomes true.

“I can’t go for that promotion because…” As long as this is your belief, then you won’t get the promotion, because it's probably easier not to try.  It's safer to stay where you are.

Those fear responses that we have are designed to keep you safe.  However sometimes the safety isn't about life and death, it's just about being at ease or comfortable.  

"I can't possible ask xyz ... what if they say no?"  This is a common one and I've talked in episode 16 about the fear of rejection.

Identifying Beliefs

Stop to listen to the words you use and the messages you say to yourself or others around you. What reasons are you giving for not being able to do something? Here’s the things – at the end of the day, these reasons, they’re actually excuses. Oooh I know that might sound harsh. These excuses are going to be based on your limiting beliefs. If you want to make changes and keep moving forward and onwards then I’m sorry, we’re going to have to look at the tough stuff. So listen to your words. Write them down if necessary. Then take it up a level to find an overall belief.

One of my beliefs was about being judged.  Listen in to the way that bothered me and what I did about it.

How to Change Limiting Beliefs

When we work on our limiting beliefs, things in our everyday life start to change.

1. Identify the belief

Listen to the words you are saying and the excuses you are making.

2. Accept the belief

Recognise and accept that this is your belief. Write it down and own it.

3. Challenge the belief

Question it, challenge it. Is it really, really true? Is it true NOW? What if this really just does not apply or if you got it wrong when you were little?

4. Look for evidence

Start to look for evidence that this belief is not true. Maybe if it’s I’m not good enough, get out all your certificates of training or your pay slips or look at your family. Does it really show that belief?

5.Create a new belief

Write this down too. Next to each negative belief write a new positive belief.

For example:
Limiting Belief: I cannot speak in front of people; I am too shy. 
New Belief: I am a good speaker and have information that others will want to hear.

Every day look at your list of new positive beliefs and say them to yourself – out loud!

Say them to yourself whenever you are feeling a lack of confidence. You may even want to list them on a note card to carry around with you so they are available throughout the day. If you keep saying them, they will eventually become a part of you. You will have changed your inner beliefs to positive ones.

What success or progress could you achieve when you stop limiting yourself through your beliefs?  

I’d love you to let me know in the comments or send me an email.

If you loved this episode, please do leave a review and sign up for my newsletter to get this in your inbox at the next release date!

If you want to talk about working with me then book a call

What can we do when we worry too much? 

This episode is inspired by the help I've been provided for my daughter whilst she's worrying about her GCSE's.  It's not just GCSE's that cause worry these days.  There's so much pressure in daily lives that what works for my teen also works for my clients (and vice versa).

When you find the thoughts go round and round in your head, what do you do?  Ignore them?  When we do that they make our head busy, we can’t think straight.

Here's what we can do when we worry too much.

1. Recognise Them

First we need to recognise they are they are there.

Listen into the explanation Emma gives about how worries are like a small child vying for attention.  Eventually, we need to turn out attention to that child and listen.

We need to do the same with our worries.  Recognise they are there.

"Train your brain to recognise those nagging moments"

If we continue to pretend those anxious thoughts are not there, they will continue to remind us they are!

2.  Create a Worry Spot

Find a chair or space in your house that you can sit in for about 10 minutes a day and give time and space to your worries.  Make sure this is a space you don’t normally use, a spare chair or even half way up the stairs!  Use this worry spot to let the thoughts, worries, stressors go round in your head.  Allow them to be there.  Often given them time and space to just ramble around can make them seem clearer or less of a concern.  If some of them aren’t sorted in 10 minutes, then that’s ok.  Just tell them you’ll come back to them the next day.

5.20m 

"When you calm down the worries you create space in your head"

3.  Listen to the Worries

When we begin to recognise what those are there, we can change them.  That’s it – – just notice them – allow them to be there.  With a bit of practice the thoughts can begin to seem different.  When you’ve noticed that they are there, instead of trying to stop them, avoid them, ignore them or even change them. Just let them be there. 

6.30m  Listen to the explanation about how Emma helped her daughter with a customer service type plan.

You might like to let your thoughts know you’ve notice them, that you know they are there.  You can do this out loud if you like but a little thought in your head will do the trick.  Then you don’t have to do anything else with those anxious thoughts, you don’t have to tell anyone else they are there. You don’t even have to agree with them.   Just notice them.

4.  Sort Them Out

When you really spend a few moments recognising they are there; you can begin to sort them out.  Are they big or small?  Are they heavy or light?  Which ones are really important and which are just little niggles?  Maybe some are busy whizzing around and others have been sat there while.   

Some you might need to make an appointment to sort out the worry and look at it in more detail.  Then the worry won't keep nagging you to look at it and remember it.

That way, whatever shape, size, level of importance they have, it gets so much easier to cope with them being there without them being so difficult / annoying / scary.

Retraining Your Worry Brain

9.30m  If you've been a constant worrier for a long time, you might need to sit down for 10 minutes each day and look at the worries.  Doing this frequently will re-train your brain and over time the worries will be become less.

It might seem a bit weird at first – especially if you’ve lived with worries and anxious thoughts for a loooonnng time. It can be a weird in a good way!

Let me know how you get on with a comment below or get in touch with me, drop me a message HERE or book a call with me to talk about how I can help you .

On this episode I'm joined by Lori J Lee who has Love Your Story Podcast and came to talk to me about that subject.

Lori does research on the personal narrative of your story. 

We talked about having balance in our lives in connection with that.

One of the main things that is really interesting to become aware of is the idea that our stories and our lives, are created by our culture's and our religions, our families, social groups.  When you realise that all of that is constructed, then even the things we think are important, are actually very fluid.  We can also realise that it's within your mental capability to decide what is actually important to you and what you actually want to spend time on.

Stories that we focus on, has a lot to do with whether you feel balanced, and where you're focusing your time. So I think all of that just gets woven together, really interestingly.

3.13m  Emma often talks about these British expectations that we have,  about the stiff upper lip and where we don't talk about emotions, we don't talk about feelings, it is quite a sort of Northern European thing, but very much a British thing.

Lori says how that's a perfect example of our story narrative.

When we talk about balance in our lives, balance might look some, like something different for each person. So if your priorities are very strongly revolving, say, around your family, and career, and those are your main focuses, then for you, those would be the two things that you would want to balance.

Whereas for somebody else balance might be being really physically healthy, a real focus on working out and being really focused on the nightlife and being social. Another thing that might be very important to them is just friend relationships, maybe they're not as connected to their family.

So balance also is going to look different for people, depending on what stage of life you're in. And depending on what all of those other cultural factors are that have informed you, as you've created your own perception of what a good life looks like.

What makes a good story?

I think maybe just even acknowledging that is important to realise that the story changes. What makes a good story? When you think about the books and the movies, you really get drawn into the good stories. They're the ones where a character has something very important to them that they need and want, and they're willing to work for it and push past obstacles. That's what makes a good story.

So when we're looking at writing our own life stories, we get to take into consideration, that a good life story doesn't look like sitting and binge watching Netflix, right? A good story isn't even working and working, working. So you can buy that next new car or that better house. And if you were watching a movie about that, you're not going to be cheering them on, you're going to feel ripped off on what your money back, because that's a really boring storyline.

The good stories are the ones where we're being vulnerable, where we're trying for things where we're learning things, where we're out there in the mess, and getting the message out of the mess, whatever that is.

So, when we're talking about life stories, we're not talking about something clean, we're talking about the messiness of learning and growing and seeking for things and falling down. And one of the main things that I think is important as business people and just as people is to realise the control that we have over the things that happen. And let me clarify that - I don't mean, the control we have necessarily on what happens to us, but the control we have on the stories we build around what happens to us.

So there are things we do that we cause to have happen. And there are things that happen in our lives that somebody else causes to happen. And then there are things in life that happened that you know, somebody gets cancer, or they're just things about life living that aren't necessarily someone's fault, they just are things we have to deal with. And in those spaces, the real power of coming to understand your life story and the story you want to create, moving forward.

Regarding balance or regarding stress, or regarding just living a life story you're going to be proud of, really have to do with that control that you have. And you might not have control over what other people do, or just the the life things that happen that you do have control about your perception of those and the meaning that you give them.

Did Life Turn Out as Expected?

Lori talks about how she did not love her story and she started a research project to look at life expectations.  The short answer is, of course not.  That question when asked, resulted in 19 out of 20 people saying no, it did not.

She put in a lot of emotional intelligence work in coming to love her story which propelled her into the space of creating the "Love Your Story" podcast and interviewing people about their story.  They are people who are dealing with the hard stuff, but look for the meaning behind those situations. They look for the things that they can take away from a difficult experience rather than just the pain and just the cynicism and just the bitterness.

What Stories are We Telling Ourselves?

16.20.  Lori encourages listeners to talk a bit of an inventory.  Are you creating a story around any part of your life where you're feeling victimised, picked on, mistreated, embittered?  

We all that those spaces.  But when we get to them, we get to decide whether we decide to look for something more up-lifting.  Sometimes we have to dig for that and sometimes we only get to see the learning once we've got through the dark space.  But it all comes back to what stories are we telling ourselves?

You get to tell yourself a story about how blessed you are because you're learning and show real gratitude about the things that are working.  Or we can sit there and look at all the things that are rubbing us the wrong way at that moment.

Depending which stories we tell ourselves, this will create the life experience that we're having. If we're looking for the positive we will see that versus all of the things that are going wrong.

18.15  Emma talks about how we can re-wire our brain to see the positives and things we're grateful for.  This includes all the small things in the day.  Lori talks about how these can help us realise how many wonderful things go on.  Those focuses change the whole layout of the day.  They discuss some of the day to day tiny thing that bring joy into their lives.  

"No storyteller can describe everything that ever happens to a hero. As autobiographers, we build our stories from a very limited selection of facts. The information we choose to include or exclude determines whether we see our lives as comedy, tragedy, romance, or adventure"  Martha Beck

In other words, our stories become what we focus on.

If you could tell your younger self, what would you say?

I didn't realise the extent to which I can control over the stories I told myself.  How would my three divorces look differently if I'd felt less victimised?  How would it have looked different, if I had understood more about what I could focus on.  I don't know how it would have changed things.

25.0m  Lori talks about what she's focussing on now in her relationships.  

All the listeners need to think about their significant other.  Of course, there's going to be irritants there always are, but are you focused on the irritants? are you focusing on the reasons you let them into your life in the first place? And just that focus is going to determine so much about where that relationship goes?

"They're doing the best they can, at this time, with what they know and their experiences"  Brene Brown.

Lori shares the detail about her new book.  LIFE - 21 life hacks.

LIFE,  stands for Living Intentional and Fearless Every-day. And it's the 21 life connection challenges. And I specifically wrote it, because it's 21 life hacks. So it's a way to practice doing and creating things in your everyday life story, that are going to create more connection, and more self care and more possibility in your life story. So they're, they're wonderful. It's done in a workbook style. But one of those things, one of the challenges on is for that particular day, to give someone the benefit of the doubt.

When you do these challenges every day, you start to see the difference that it makes.

We're all living the best we can, but when we do these challenges it can shift the way we feel.  Lori gives a great example of how this worked for her and helped a friendship that she might have let slip.

The more we practice this, over and over, like any neural pathway, the more fantastic you'll see it play out in your life. Then those stories serve you and don't hold you back.

Lori's key piece of advice (even if it's a shameless plug) would be to buy that book. It was created as a tool to help listeners to be able to life their best life on purpose.  You can get it on Amazon, you can get it on her website, but it's just a fun structured way that you know, it has the workbook section where you can write at the end of the day, you you want to go back, because it's definitely part of the learning process of going back and writing about your experience that you created with that challenge that day.

Then you can create wonderful stories for you.

If you enjoyed this episode, please do subscribe, leave me a review and jo

Achieving Work-Life Balance

In the current fast paced world with always on mentality we need to ensure that we are in control and find ways to balance our time, our brain power, our energies.  This week on the podcast Emma talks about key ways you can achieve work-life balance.

A good few years ago a survey of City employees was carried out by Credent Technologies’ and they discovered that less than a quarter of those who responded had taken a holiday with NO contact with the office. 

Just under half, reported that they felt being available 24/7 gave them job security so that this gave them some justification that technology was necessary and ensured they were not ‘missing out’ or being left behind when important decisions were being made.

It would seem that just switching off the phone or computer is not that easy for some people.  I’ve had clients who, when asked to turn their phone off for the session, admitted they never turned their phone off and some were not sure how to!

Fear of missing out is a real thing.  It’s used in advertising and sales, however we are reinforcing this in ourselves by having this mindset of needing to be contactable all the time.

The lifestyle of never fully switching our devices also means we’re rarely switching off our brains too.  Just like everything else in the world, we need to be able to power down properly.  Without that, stress will build.  It can affect you even if you don’t realise it. 

Many people end up living with a higher level of stress hormone so that it becomes the ‘norm’ for them.

Stress can mean that you make poor decisions or that it stunts your creativity.  It affects your ability to concentrate fully, or to concentrate for decent periods of time.  When everything seems like it just such hard work to do the basics, you end up working harder, becoming more tired and this affects your performance too.  It’s a vicious cycle.

According to the National Labour Force Survey (LFS) 40% of sick days in the British workplace were stress related.   If you or your colleagues end up taking time off because of stress, then the impact of that means the pressure and workload is increased too.

A company stress management policy can be helpful.  But I’ve heard about HR departments handing out a stress risk assessment and advising that it is given to the employee to complete and return, rather than sit down and discuss and go through it together.  They know that often stressed people don’t return the assessment.  That’s one less job to deal with!

However, as I say to all my clients and the companies where deliver my stress workshops – “you cannot change or control anyone else, so we have to change your response to these situations”.

It’s key that you recognise stress in yourself (that’s included in episode 33) so that you can protect your mental health and wellbeing.

What can you begin to do to get a better work-life balance and manage any stressful situations? 

• Stop Multitasking – give each task all of your attention and brain power. It can take longer to switch from one task to another and re-focus, so shut off notifications, drag yourself away from the distractions.
• Schedule. I advocate that all my clients make time to schedule tasks and activities.  This isn’t about being pernickety about your time, it’s about ensuring that you have time set to look at and deal with certain tasks.  It also means that your brain doesn’t have to hold all the information and keep reminding you of that ‘thing’ you have to do.  It’s a bit like making an appointment with yourself to deal with those differing things.
• Take breaks. They don’t have to be huge, but just a little break, 30 minutes away from the desk can make a huge impact.  (listen to what I said when someone asked me how many walks Charlie the dog gets …).
• Take Time back. If you have to work longer for a project or particular day then take that time back … I always had to work late on a Friday, it became a pattern, so no matter how much I wanted to get away, it never happened.  Instead I started taking long lunch breaks, because the pressure would hit from about 2pm on Friday afternoon.  Being realistic stops you getting stressed about what you would like to happen, rather than what really is happening.
• Reward yourself for achievement. It’s easy to always move on to the next tasks or job but it can be demoralising to never feel like you’ve achieved anything.  I had a colleague once who, every now and then would insist on finishing one thing.  Just to get that sense of achievement instead of always being pulled away and leaving things not quite completed
• Beware of Perfect – what does perfect look like anyway? It’s going to be different for each person.  So beware of focussing or fussing on something looking for that perfect arrangements, presentation or even a colour on something.  Done is better than perfect. 
• Get clear on boundaries. These don’t have to be set in stone, but when you get clear on what is and is not acceptable to you, you can clearly set that out for others too.  It does often mean a change in mindset and focus because if you decide you’re not answering emails after 6pm but then you’re so distracted thinking about that big project, the boundaries are not going to be effective for you.  Boundaries work for you, rather than against you.  But it’s important to maintain periods where you’re not working or thinking about work. 
• Say no. This is a tough one for some people.  If you tend to say yes almost without thinking then work on that. A good way is rather than answering straight away, say let me check that, or I’ll get back you. This gives you time to think about whether you really want to do this, or can do it.  If you do want to say yes, fine. But if you want to say no, say no and keep saying it. The important thing is that you don’t waffle.  No is a complete sentence.  Don’t justify your actions or give excuses, that can give the asker the opportunity to squeeze into your reasons.  
• Take some time off. If things get too much, taking a few days off or a long weekend can help you feel refreshed and actually increase your productivity in the long-run. Use the holiday you're entitled to.
• Don't let your life be work. Make time for hobbies, interests, exercise, enjoyment. Nurture relationships and get involved in things that are outside of work and colleagues.

I hope this is helpful for you and you feel able to put some of these things in your life.  If you want to talk to me about how we can work together on this, or how this can be implemented in your workforce, then get in contact with me or book a call and let's talk.

6 Easy Ways to Improve Stress in the Workplace

While some workplace stress is normal, excessive stress can interfere with your productivity and performance, impact your physical and emotional health, and affect your relationships and home life. It can even determine success or failure on the job.

Many employees are reluctant to talk about stress at work. There is still a stigma attached to stress and people still think they will be seen as weak if they admit they are struggling. But stress is not a weakness, and can affect anyone at any level of an organisation.

Therefore, it's important that an employer takes steps to tackle the work-related causes of stress in its organisation and encourage staff to seek help at the earliest opportunity if they begin to experience stress.

Whatever your ambitions or work demands, there are steps you can take to protect yourself from the damaging effects of stress, improve your job satisfaction, and boost your well-being in and out of the workplace.

Stress is a huge contributor to people needing time off work. Surveys suggest that over 10 million people in the UK are taking time off due to stress and stress related illness.  Mental health issues, including stress and anxiety are the reason for one in five visits to a GP.

“Stress is the feeling of being under too much mental or emotional pressure”. (NHS)

The people that I see regularly, come to me for coaching and other help because they still don’t want to go to their GP AND they don’t want to take time off or alert their employer that they are feeling under pressure.

We are all different!  What one person finds stressful may be normal or even exciting for another!  What one person notices is happening with them (with physical or emotional symptoms) might be different for another person.  The trick is to know how to identify it in ourselves (that I talked about in episode 33) and learn what we can do about it.  What works well with one person may not work well with you, so it’s important that you find out what works for you.

1. Raise Awareness

Recognising the things that cause more stress or pressure will help you identify the causes.  Whether that’s for you or your workforce.  It might feel like it’s you whole job, but it probably isn’t really.  I know that it sounds like this is adding more to your to-do list (and I really don’t advocate that) but this is one thing that will pay off.  Once you know what works for you, talk to your employer or employees about this. They may be able to make some changes to help you.

1. Learn tools and strategies

Different things work for different people.  Sometimes it’s just a simple breathing technique, earning how to relax your body so that you don’t store the tension in your neck, shoulders or jaw. Maybe you take a walk at lunchtime even if it’s just to grab the sandwich. .  Learn different coping techniques to use as soon as you start to feel pressure building. It may take time to find a method that works for you.  Having tools and strategies to catch things before the stress gets out of hand means you can get back on track and back to performing at your best.

1. Prioritise Your To-Do List

Writing down all the things you have to do can be very helpful at getting clear on your tasks and priorities.  Score their importance between 1 and 10.  Look at what you NEED to do, what’s nice to do, what can be left or what can you ask someone else to do?  What’s on the list that only you care about?  Sort into importance and see what you can leave or delegate. 

Tackle the highest / most difficult / most important task first.  When you’ve got most of your energy and brain power.  That often means leaving your email until later in the day.

1. Disconnect from Social Media

I know, you’ll be quietly dying inside about this, but it’s hugely important and VERY effective.  Disconnect when you take that walk for your sandwich, leave your phone downstairs at night, switch off when in the car and just listen to the radio, get a separate phone for work so you can switch it off at weekends or during family time.  It enables you to properly calm down your brain and create space.

1. Have a support network

You might have a manager or co-workers that you can talk to.  Listen to the podcast where I talk about what I did with a team and a very boss. It shows how finding humour in the situations can be really helpful.

Listening attentively, will mean that person feels heard and understood. Any opportunity to talk and be heard will help lower their stress and yours, even if you’re unable to change the situation. Sayings things like “I understand this is difficult for you” helps them know that you’ve been listening.

You’re not always there to fix and provide solutions, something people just need to offload.  Finding people who will listen and provide the support can balance the negativity.

1. Be Realistic

If you have to give deadlines or make commitments, be realistic about what you can achieve.  I often talk to clients and in workshops about creating a buffer between what you can do uninterrupted and without issue and what you can do if emergencies hit.  When you’re setting deadlines, allow that buffer.  Then you won’t get frustrated, stressed or annoyed at yourself if you need more time than first anticipated.

I hope that's helpful.  My workplace training and workshops cover these things in an interactive way to help your team and workforce be able to help themselves and stay productive.  If you'd like to know how I can help you, individually or in workshops, then book a call or contact me

How do we equip ourselves and the people around us to deal with difficult situations?

In this final episode of the Resilience month on the podcast I talk to Nicola Richardson who is a Business and People Mentor.  She works with businesses to get the best out of people, process and performance.

There’s quite a lot of good chat and sharing of information in the podcast but also a couple of key things I talk on the podcast this week that I think are important messages.

Nicola tells us what happened to her when she tried to power through and keep going after a significant life event.  She shares the detrimental effect it had on her health and also why that made her change things in her life completely.

We also talk about the healing power of crying!  Often other people struggle to see others crying.  Often too, as children we have been told “don’t cry” and so we learn to stem the flow and hold back the tears.

Nicola is running a workshop called Thriving not Surviving which will be helping people understand and identify what helps them and what is difficult for them.  

Nicola shares what hobby she has that helps her to zone our from the busy day.  She also says she still uses a great tip that I gave her regarding social media, where I advised switching off all notification so there are no distractions and that has helped her a lot too to filter information and not feel overloaded.

We also talk about the need to a good level of emotional intelligence and self awareness is needed.  It’s really helpful for us to build our resilience and when we are aware of our feelings and emotions, then we can do something about them, in an appropriate way rather than stuffing them down, ignoring them or having them overflow in tears or anger at times when we really don’t want to have them on show.

You can get in touch with Nicola via her website at https://thepeoplementor.co.uk/ if you're interested in the in-person or online workshops that she provides.  The first one is on 26th April 2019 in Lincolnshire.

Have a listen and if this is useful, share with someone you think might help.


If you want more information on working with me or you have a question for me, then get in touch on my website.

Resilience needs areas to be strong and calm.  This provides the foundations for you to live a balanced life.

When your mind and body are resilient, strong and stable, you will be strong and stable too. It forms the foundations of a powerful basis for everything you do in life.  Life is full of challenges and we cannot possibly avoid everything. Resilience is about that ability to deal with the rough and the smooth and be able to swerve the curve balls and get back on track.

When life knocks you down, you need that bounce-back-ability to be able to get up again.  That’s why we need to ensure we have lots of tools and resources in our lifestyle generally.  So if one area is weak, under pressure or overloaded then things begin to fall apart.

You need all areas of you to be equally strong. So think about where you have gaps or think about what situations mean that you have wobbles. 

Fitting things into your everyday life is the best way. You can’t always take a holiday or book a spa day – and anyway, if you’re living or working in a place of pressure you won’t have the time. You’ve probably got some other things you’d like to spend your money too!

Relying on things like spa days, holidays or even going to gym (whilst it’s great to do, you need space and time for this). Getting the balance to boost your resilience needs to be little everyday things that you can.

So I talk about a (kind of) A-Z to give you ideas.

There’ll be a whole load more. I’d love to know what you do so drop me an email or get in touch from my website. If you’ve really no idea what to do, or what will help, then also get in touch, lets book a call and we can talk about how my coaching can help you know exactly what works for you, how to manage your resilience, so you can be confident in dealing with life’s challenges.

Good resilience is your ability to kind of cope and to rise to those challenges.

2:13
Resilience relies on different skills and resources. Some might be about your physical health, mental health or relationships, thinking skills.

So, if you're a manager or leader, or you're setting an example somewhere, then that's important to manage your resilience. 

When we recognise and understand our own emotions, we can do the same with others.  That also means we can impact ourselves and others positively and negatively.

It's not good floating around like a swan and pretending everything is fine.  If you spend time trying to look calm and glide gracefully whilst feeling like you are paddling madly underneath.  Outwardly you are managing to look composed, keep up with that endless pressure but inside you’re absolutely shattered, overwhelmed and feeling a bit ill or like you’re not coping.

Recognise the Feelings

6.40m  Firstly, you need to recognise your feelings and allow yourself to feel them (instead of ignoring them or distracting yourself).  If things are rough you might need to set aside time to do this.

7.25m Listen in when I talk about how I allowed myself to really feel the big feelings.

Let Go

8.30m  You might need to have a good cry!  I explain about the healing aspects of crying and why it's good for you.

10.0m  Another good way to release and let go is to visualise letting go of the feelings.  Imagine you are gathering up all the thoughts and feelings related to the negativity and in your mind picture some way of getting rid of them.  I explain some options on the podcast.

Revitalise

12.30m Look at what you can do to revitalise yourself. It might be spending time with your partner, your kids, your friends, making connections with other people. We need conversations and interactions we need to laugh. We need to find joy somewhere, even if it feels like it's pretty tricky to do.  Think about what will boost your feel good chemicals to fill up that emotional bucket.

Leave Things

Seriously, look at what you can leave for a while.  Re-prioritise and give yourself some time and space.  It doesn't have to be for ever!

Time Out

15.0m  I run a bath, some people do Netflix, some people run, exercise. They all create a space in your mind and body. This allows the negative stuff to drain away, out of your bucket. Leaving space for good stuff.

Sleep

Prioritise the important needs.  Instead of staying up late trying to get everything done. Get your sleep. We all find it hard to function when we are tired. Never sacrifice your sleep.

Filter

When you're overloaded or feeling pressure the last thing you need is everyone else's stuff!  Filter it out.  Shut down social media.  Remember too that people only talk about really good or really bad things.   They’re not going to show or talk about the fact that they are not coping, so filter information and keep reality in mind.  Don't let people drain you with their woes.

Also filter things that annoy or drain you.  I share a good example of mine in the podcast.

Think about the kind of good stuff that is going to fill your emotional bucket of resilience with good stuff. 

Next week, I’m going to talking about whole list of things, so remember to come back to get more ideas in case you need them. 

If this is really useful to you please share it with your friends, and please do go over to iTunes and leave a review I'd really love it if you did that.  You can contact me www.emmalangton.com/contact  for help with your resilience.