Claim Your Worthiness

• Dr. Rubino, CEO of The Center for Personal Reinvention, is acknowledged as one of the world’s foremost experts on the topic of elevating self-esteem for adults and children. 
• He is a life-changing personal development and success coach on how to restore self-esteem, achieve success, maximize joy in relationships and fulfillment in life and skyrocket productivity.  
• He is known for his groundbreaking work in personal and leadership development, building effective teams, enhancing listening and communication skills, life and business coaching and optimal life planning. 

His 12 best-selling books and audio programs are available in 23 languages and in 58 countries.

Dr. Joe’s vision is to impact the lives of at least 20 million children and 20 million adults. 

Discussed in this episode:

• We hear about Dr. Rubino's perspective and the key ingredients of high-self esteem.
• What new trends/challenges do kids today face, and how/why high self-esteem is so important? 
• How can a child regroup from that and claim his/her worth?
• We address the pandemic and its impact on kids and families regarding self-esteem or worthiness.
• Ways parents, caregivers, teachers, and counselors can keep children focused on internal worth versus external circumstances of the world today.
• As the author of “The Self-Esteem Book: The Ultimate Guide to Boosting the Most Important Ingredient for Success and Happiness in Life” Dr. Joe shares his passion about championing children and adults to elevate their self-esteem. 
• What is the definition of self-esteem? Where does worthiness fit in?
• Where does low self-esteem have its origins and is it really that pervasive? 
• Dr. Joe has identified 30+ ways parents can help their kids develop their self-esteem, and shares a few samples.
• What are 3 qualities parents can support their children to develop to elevate their self-esteem? 
• If it all began when we were very young, why haven’t we got over these feelings later in life? In other words, what keeps these feelings of being unlovable or not good enough in place? 
• Dr. Joe speaks about the negative self-talk so many of us deal with daily. How do deal with this negativity to stop this noise in our heads?
• Why is emotional awareness important?
• We discuss how we can support children best to develop good habits that support their happiness and success. 
• Modeling the behavior we wish to see in our children is important.
• We speak briefly about designing a future with high self-esteem. What is a good first step for parents to support their children to do so? 

Learn More:

Learn more about Dr. Rubino’s life-changing work in championing people to restore their self-esteem at http://www.TheSelfEsteemBook.com and receive FREE the insightful audio program “7 Steps to Soaring Self-Esteem” and a 1-year subscription to “The Success Achievers’ Club”…a $129 Value!  

7 Steps to Soaring Self Esteem Gift   

High Self-Esteem Kids 

High Self-Esteem Adults

BACKGROUND:

“No matter how your life is today, breathing makes life better. That’s a strong statement. But from what I have seen in my own practice, and in our trainings, when people learn conscious breathing, life improves.” – Anthony Abbagnano

Anthony, lives in Tuscany, Italy, where he and his wife Amy Rachelle, are co-founders of the Alchemy School of Healing Arts (ASHA), the foundation stone of a consciously created community in the Province of Grosseto, Italy (ashacommunity.com). 

Anthony is considered by many who have participated in his Breathwork trainings to be a visionary thought leader. He uniquely combines philosophy and psychology with spirituality to guide others in loving ways using conscious breathwork as one of his many foundational tools.

Anthony has guided more than 100,000 people through different breath practices. Many report an experience of “oneness” during and after a breath session. This oneness could be interpreted as a connection with the Divine, the Superconscious, or the Quantum Field. 

He is also the creator of Alchemy of Breath, Alchemy Meditation, and the Alchemy of Breath Academy, an accredited school that teaches Breathwork practitioners and facilitators all over the world for one-on-one sessions, group sessions, and online breathwork. He teaches annual workshops and seminars in several countries, and trains both facilitators and individual practitioners in a variety of class settings. 

Anthony pioneered the use of online Bbreathwork in 2013, enabling the practice to reach hundreds of thousands; he now heads Breathe The World, a regular Sunday event to suit all time zones. 

He has been featured as a keynote speaker on the Shift Network’s Breathwork Summit, The Breathe Festival, the Global Inspiration Conference, and The Integrative Health Conference in London, having also given talks at the Twitter headquarters in London. 

He is also the founder of The Community of Healing—an international organization that promotes the union of Western medicine with all other modalities—as well as the Ark, a retreat center in Bali, Indonesia, dedicated to community health and emerging consciousness. 

# # #

INTERVIEW HIGHLIGHT NOTES:

GAIL/HOST: Before we begin and dig deep into your unique expertise, which includes your ability to see someone’s soul beyond their personality, Anthony please share with the listeners today a story or a few insights about claiming your own innate worthiness.  

Anthony then shares an intimate "edgy" story of walking in his neighborhood as an adult that caused him to remember a wound he felt as a small child, offering this insight: 

"THIS IS WHERE IT GETS REAL--to realize that the person who is hurting in this moment (of getting triggered) is actually the person who has been carrying the hurt for years, even decades.  So in that journey to reclaiming worthiness, and reclaiming the innocence that we are, it does mean identifying the lack of worthiness first to be able to bridge that gap."~Anthony Abbagnano

BENEFITS OF BREATHWORK:

From Anthony's book:

“...so many Breathers have felt not just a deep healing, but also a spiritual awakening. The same applies to the several times I have heard expressions of amazement that one Breathwork session could equate to ten years of conventional psychotherapy.” ~Anthony Abbagnano.

--OTHER SNIPPETS FROM  HIS BOOK IN DEVELOPMENT: "There are countless reasons to create a Breathwork practice: to reconnect with your body, reduce stress, develop resilience, increase calm and inner peace, release past traumas, deepen your meditation, repair relationships, connect to compassion, become more mindful, stimulate personal growth, increase self-awareness, develop your spiritual practice, or re-identify with your purpose in life. 

--You also may use the breath to boost your creativity and memory, feel more vital and alert, increase your efficiency in the workplace, improve presence of mind, gain more clarity, expand consciousness, and transform the way you perceive life. 

--Breathing can support very deep and powerful inner work, but it also can simply increase your enjoyment of life and enhance your experience of the hidden blessings that await you. As we progress through the book, I’ offer invitations to use the breath in therapeutic ways; should you feel resistance, I encourage you to try the practice anyway—feel and breathe. 

Breathwork provides a plethora of physical benefits. It promotes a healthy immune system, activates your metabolism, increases energy, and is a great way to burn calories. Exhalation cleanses us, too, accounting for as much as 70% of our physical toxins.

The breath complements any therapy you might be involved with (physical or psychological). Maintaining a conscious breathing practice helps to ease chronic pain and supports a speedy return to health from physical illness. It also can promote recovery after an operation, and some studies have shown that it might even ward off certain types of cancer and other chronic diseases."

IN COMPARISON TO / or in CONJUNCTION WITH MEDITATION:

"For me, Breathwork multiplies it--almost quantum. Breathwork is turbo-charged; for me it is like rocket-fuel meditation because only 10 breaths can begin to change your point of view whereas meditation can take hours or even days."~Anthony Abbagnano.

GAIL/HOST: Anthony, many who have worked with you consider you a great healer, and like me as a coach, you also have a passion for guiding and witnessing others through “inner child” work. Please define for our listeners who may not be familiar, what “inner child” is and why it is so important or life-altering for our healing journeys.

·     

(Other snippet from his book--"Another part of 'inner child' work.  Often people consciously seek to change their habits, perhaps to stop smoking, lose weight or exercise more. Think of how many times you or someone you know has made a New Year’s resolution, only to see it broken with a few days or weeks. We might set goals or resolutions with maximum determination, but most often they fail because the unconscious mind has already decided how things will play out. Its stored programs and enormous processing power override even the best of intentions. This means that our Inner Child—the person who stored those programs in early life—might be in control. Even though the adult is seeking to make changes, the old life script is the one that wins."

ANTHONY:

"In my work, I consider the relationship with the Inner Child as a key to the healing process. However, in my experience, before we can become successful allies with our Inner Child, we must first distinguish it from our adult self. Then, we are able to speak to its deepest wound. The lack of distinction from the inner child—or over-identification with it—creates confusion. The adult becomes consumed by a yearning for relief. And as the inner child suffers, the adult self looks outside for the solution. This is a costly error."

"As long as we invest in the hope that someone else can solve our difficulty, we keep giving our power away and ignoring the weeping wound inside. We might try any solution offered from the sublime to the ridiculous, but unless we own the wound, and make the effort to tend to it with our perfectly competent adult mind and heart, it will fester, control us, undermine our progress, and deny us the rights and opportunities of maturity."

Other inner child insights from Anthony:

"Inner child work is really about how do we reclaim that part of us who got stuck behind the damage."

"I believe this (inner child) work is more important than the relationship with my wife or my children--the restoration of these parts of myself that have been abandoned or left behind."

SHIFTING THE FOCUS FROM WORLD CONDITIONS TO MIRACLES:

"Miracles are not remote.  They are happening all the time. They are happening right now.  The problem is that they don't get our attention, the right kind of attention...WE HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO BE HERE." 

 
ON THE WORLD CONDITIONS TODAY:

"We have learned to externalize both our problems and our solutions. And, in order to reclaim responsibility, we need to take the power back and look at what is happening inside our beings that can change our lives." 

* * *

"We've had to distinguish between what gives us temporary relief and what can actually really create resolution, and I believe resolution is born from inside us, not outside of us."

* * *

"Just giving your breath your awareness changes something something so significant, that you're taking the time to become aware of something that you've taken for granted your whole life, just that is half the task.  So as we feel stress and we feel pressure from the these times, all the more important it is that we create space in which we can foster our own consciousness in this human mess."

* * *

"If we can bring our consciousness to our breath, we can take a first step to creating an oasis in the chaos."

* * *

"There's a tremendous resource here that we don't use." (80 percent of our messages come from the body to the brain.)

* * *

"If you can take three breaths, you've opened the door to your own emotional leadership..it's buying you time."
<

As we are all beginning to realize, we're not going back to the ways things were before the pandemic, so new skills are needed to move forward. Traci shares some of those with us in this episode, with a particular focus on growing as a better leader from the inside out.

About Traci Philips: As an Executive Leadership & Performance Strategist, Traci supports visionary business owners and corporate executives to learn and practice better communication, resolution strategies, decision-making, and leading during times of change and when the stakes are high.

She teaches her clients how to create a more cohesive, cooperative experience and environment within their workplace culture. Her ultimate goal is to support her clients to live authentically and lead powerfully by creating more awareness about who they are, how they want to be seen, and what legacy they want to leave behind.

You can learn more about Traci and connect with her at www.theinnatecoach.com.

Traci starts by sharing a time in her life when she felt less than worthy and how she reclaimed her sense of worthiness. 

Traci discusses the three brains:

• The head
• The heart and
• The gut

and how we can learn about the unique role of each from emerging scientific data.   

"How we feel and what we sense are equally important to what we think, especially in times of high change and uncertainty," Traci explains.

We also discuss the powerful principles pulled out by this challenging question from her book: Are you living a borrowed or leased life?

Traci shares more about her ZONE MODEL, which includes the  Zone of Brilliance, Zone of Achievement, and Zone of Impact.

In regards to the Zone of Brilliance, Traci became aware of its importance while working for three years with federal inmates who had been incarcerated for white-collared crimes:

She notes that almost all of them shared that who they dreamed of being when they were young boys was not what they ended up doing for a living. They had chosen careers that required impressive credentials and accumulated power and prestige, not because their inner being wanted it, but for various reasons, because they felt that is who they needed to be to get what they wanted in life. This disconnect with their Zone of Brilliance had them acting in ways that eventually landed them in a place of "do-over" where they were given the opportunity to really think about how this disassociation from their natural gifts and desires had impacted their choices, behaviors, actions, and outcomes.

This sharing of her work with inmates led to the discussion of the principle of staying in your own lane:

From her book: "As I explained to him/client, staying in your lane permits you to serve from your innate gifts in a way that is naturally in tune with how you desire to be and within the boundaries that are set around what best supports and nourished you."

Traci and Gail discuss how to reinterpret your circumstances to shift your mentality from a victim to a creator, and give examples of what that practically looks like.

"Our life is not simply a tool to be used for the benefit of others. We are also meant to receive value from who we are and what we were born to build, create and manifest." ~Traci Philips

Traci elaborates on how important it is to live intentionally (and she shares the three intentions she lives by within the interview).

From her book:  "Without intention, we are all walking around, potentially ready to react to whatever comes our way.  When we go through life on autopilot, we create accidental lives.  When we are intentional about our whats, hows, wheres, and whys, we can finally experience a more conscious and deliberate existence."

You can find Traci's new book called, Looking In: Discover, Define & Align the True Value of Your Life, Leadership & Legacy on Amazon.

Our guest Shay Merritt Hughes, is the owner of Merritt Clinical Wellness in Apex, North Carolina.  

Her business is unique, as is her personal journey.  

Merritt Clinical Wellness is an evidenced-based rehabilitation and injury prevention practice. Its focus is on the soft tissue realignment of the body through the pelvis. 

Bringing oneself back into alignment not only reduces pain, but it can help one move more freely and balanced. 

Known as a“realignment therapist,” Shay has helped those who have been injured or recovering from surgery, get back in shape—even after others told them it couldn’t be done.  She says was born to do this work, by uniquely combining therapeutic massage with bodywork.

Shay trained with renowned bodyworker Thomas Myers, author of Anatomy Trains: Myofascial Meridians for Manual and Movement. He has also produced more than 20 online learning courses based on Anatomy Trains and collaborates with various body-oriented professional groups. Thomas and his faculty conduct professional development courses and certification in Structural Integration worldwide.

Today, Shay is also bravely joining us with a purpose beyond promoting her business--To share her story of how she reclaimed her worthiness after a suicide attempt at age 26.  With so much going on in the world today, and some believing we may even have a new pandemic of mental health challenges, Shay felt compelled to share, to help someone else who may find themselves in a dark place in their lives.

She now lives on a farm in North Carolina as a newlywed with her “very understanding husband,” 3 horses, a donkey, and 4 kittens.  She recently started a non-profit, “The Purrs A Lot of Society,” for rescuing, rehabilitating, and then “re-homing” kittens.

INTRO:

Gail/Host: Shay, first of all, I want to thank you for your enormous courage in coming forth to share the story of your attempted suicide in your 20s—and the inspiring ways you have reclaimed your worthiness to live. Now at age 42, you have much wisdom and perspective from that journey.  And before we hear all the gems, can you please bring us back to that “desperate” day when you tried to take your life?

 
Shay: At 26, I was at a very dark place in life, lower than ever, “felt damaged,” without hope of getting better.  I felt I had no value, no worthiness in the world...it was a culmination of things, abusive childhood.  Then the weekend after New Year’s Eve 16 years ago, “the darkness engulfed me.”  I was full of darkness and despair.

What was the trigger that set you off?

SHAY:  My ex-boyfriend and I had a nasty fight, and it was the straw that broke the camel’s back ... I was away from home, in a state where I didn't know a lot of people, no secure friendships...when you add all these things together, it effects your mental health in a way that you feel like you're in a bottle and you can't get out.  I took pills, went to ER, and my boyfriend carried a lot of guilt, but my suicide attempt was based on multiple years of problems of being born to 2 parents who didn’t want me...I knew from a young age that they didn’t want me.

 
...That day was the start of something really good for me...I had to have that day for the good to come to me later.

"I make it a point now to tell those in my life, including my animals, that they are safe, they are wanted and they are loved."

How did your suicide attempt transform your life?

SHAY: "The first year after was tough.  There is no quick rebound--it’s like being in recovery for the rest of your life... for two years, in that moment when I remembered that day, I wanted to go home, by home, I mean, I wanted to go to heaven....That first year the challenge was I was still in a dark cloud, not a dark space, but a dark cloud.  I had to forgive myself and I had to claim I was worthy enough to go on and that I survived for a reason.  God wasn’t done with me yet.”

What advice do you have for others in a dark place, contemplating suicide?

• Talk to somebody NOT RELATED TO YOU.
• Go to a safe place, and if you don’t have one, you can contact me.
• YOU DESERVE THAT, TO BE HEARD.  
• Make an effort to find that light. You're worth it.  You're worth saving.  You're worth surviving.
• You can't thrive if you don't survive.
• Take it one day at a time, and one step at a time.

“Sometimes good things come from a dark place." ~Shay Merritt Hughes

"For me, there were tough decisions after that...I started changing, been with my boyfriend since I was 19...unhappy for last 2 years...stayed with him because I thought I should...then it clicked...NO, I should take care of me, and came home to North Carolina from Texas...I moved in with a girlfriend...went to school, trained as vet tech, then aesthetician, and rolled into massage when things really fell into place.”

“I feel like I became the person God always wanted me to be.”

At 34/35,  got her first job, 7 months in her career, I was trying to help a client with a particular issue and found this guy on YouTube—Thomas Myers (which was DIVINE INTERVENTION, according to Shay). Thomas is a renowned bodyworker.

Shay ended up training with him, and resonated immediately with his style of bodywork...no nonsense...it works...consistently effective.

GAIL:  Do you work with mostly with the injured?  

SHAY: “Yes, everybody’s been injured.”  From 8 years to 106 years old, I have no niche market.

Any other thoughts on helping someone claim their worthiness to live as you did?

“God always has a plan.  You might not see it right now, but if you end it today, you will never see it.”

“I decided I was worth saving, and not only did I survive, but I went on and thrived.”

“It didn’t end at surviving, and it doesn’t end at thriving.  It ends when the sun is setting in the ocean, and I am a long way from the beach, darling.”

Shay most wants listeners to remember this is:  "You don't HAVE to do it alone...there's nothing that says you have to be alone for the rest of your life, and you have to relive your past.  You don't.  Every day is a new day, and even if you make the smallest step today to talk to someone, that is step one." 

To learn more about Shay’s therapeutic clinical massage business, check out her website, 

https://merrittclinicalwellness.com/

To learn more about her non-profit, “The Purrs A Lot Society,” for rescuing, rehabilitating, and then “re-homing” kittens, check out the Facebook Page

Diagnosed at age 33 with end-stage cancer and thriving IN NEW WAYS now 28 years later, Kristi offers a unique and uplifting perspective on embracing gratefulness.

She offers many practices and 5 KEY PRINCIPLES of gratefulness for coming alive in new ways that go far beyond what many of us know about gratitude, which we’ll talk about later.

Here is one major distinction she notes: “Gratitude waits for something to happen; gratefulness just waits for us to be awake.”

Kristi Nelson is the author of the recently released book, Wake Up Grateful: The Transformative Practice of Taking Nothing for Granted, and the Executive Director of A Network for Grateful Living. She has spent her adult life immersed in the rewarding work of non-profit leadership, fundraising, and organizational development. In a wide variety of roles, she has helped to lead, fund, and strengthen organizations committed to progressive social and spiritual change.

In 2001, Kristi founded a values-based fundraising consulting and training and leadership coaching company, and in this capacity, worked with organizations such as the Institute for Jewish Spirituality, Buddhist Peace Fellowship, Spirit in Action, Wisdom 2.0, and The Center for Contemplative Mind in Society, among others. She was also the founding Director of the Soul of Money Institute with Lynne Twist, Director of Development at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health, and Director of Development and Community Relations for the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care and Society.

Kristi received her BA from UMass/Amherst, a graduate certificate in Business and Sociology from Boston College, and her Master’s in Public Administration (MPA) with a concentration in Leadership Studies from Harvard University.

“My illness taught me greater empathy for the wounded places inside everyone that we cannot see, touch, or imagine — and not to take what we see of each other at face value. So many of our illnesses, struggles, and disabilities are hidden, and many people who appear to have disabilities are, in other ways, far more intact than we might be. The most important parts of us long for the sincere invitation to show themselves and be acknowledged in both our brokenness and beauty.

The surgery to remove cancer that had metastasized to my spine repaired me and readied me for treatment. But it did far more than that. It cracked me open and taught me unmitigated awe for the capacities of the body to function, to repair and recover, to heal, and to carry on. It opened my eyes and heart to better appreciate the courage with which so many people live their days. The human capacity for tenacity and resilience is perpetually astonishing. I learned that our bodies are a never-ending blessing worthy of our full-blown, moment-to-moment

appreciation and wonder — no matter what.” -- Kristi Nelson

-- “Grateful living reminds you that the body is worthy of your most grateful regard and is always available to receive your care. No matter how broken you might feel, remember that you are always whole. And you are always a source of awe, just as you are. It is a hugely generative practice to bring greater tenderness and empathy to the body — yours and others’.” -- Kristi Nelson

Kristi defines what living with gratitude means to her and how her sense of worthiness impacts her work now and her sense of living gratefully.

Utilizing the principles of STOP, LOOK, and GO, which she describes in detail, can help unlock gratitude.

Other key thoughts of hers:

“ When appreciation guides our relationship to ourselves, and we feel self-compassion, this provides us a frame of reference to better appreciate and feel compassion for others too.” 

* * *

“Possibility is awakened, or not, every day through how we treat ourselves...We cannot know what is possible with others or with life until we give ourselves permission for a more unlimited and grateful experience of ourselves.” 

* * *

“If you were to STOP WAITING and treat yourself exactly as you long to, what new opportunities would arise?” 

We discuss the power of emotions, feeling them, welcoming them, and BECOMING VULNERABLE.

Gail discusses the importance of learning to receive to improve health and well-being.  She says in her own book, Cancer as a Love Story, and in coaching others through transformation and cancer, that many who get breast cancer are in the helping professions and often over give to others, sometimes at the expense of their own health.

--Kristi noted she had to learn to receive through her healing journey and made a profound statement: “Giving at the expense

of receiving is selfish.” Kristi elaborates on how hard that was for her to do initially, and how receiving changed her life.

She also offers a key insight on valuing others:

 “May you hold your relationships as sacred, with humility and generosity.” ~ Kristi Nelson

Brilliant Grateful Rule Questions for leaning in and listening Kristi shares:

• What do you want me to be sure to understand?
•  What would make you feel seen and understood right now?
•  What could I do or say that would be reparative or healing for you?
•  What would be meaningful to you as an outcome of this conversation?
•  What other questions would help get to the matter at heart?

THE 5 GUIDING PRINCIPLES OF GRATEFULNESS offered by Kristi:

1) Life is a Gift. When you greet each moment gratefully, you are always receiving.

2) Everything is a Surprise. When you open to wonder, opportunities abound.

3) The Ordinary is Extraordinary. When you take nothing for granted, life is abundant.

4) Appreciation is Generative. When you tend what you value, what you value thrives.

5) Love is Transformative. When you embrace the fullness of life, your heart overflows.

Kristi's brilliant book: Wake Up Grateful: The Transformative Practice of Taking Nothing for Granted, which is now available at Bookshop (Indie book purveyors), Barnes & Noble, and Amazon.

To learn more about Kristi’s work as Executive Director of A Network for Grateful Living, go to gratefulness.org, where there are also many daily meditations and practices for expanding in gratefulness.

James Crews is the editor of the best-selling anthology, How to Love the World: Poems of Gratitude and Hope, which was just published to rave reviews in March of 2021.

How to Love the World contains works of 100 of the best-loved and emerging writers, including Amanda Gorman, Ted Kooser, Mark Nepo, and Jane Hirshfield.

The book invites readers to use poetry as part of their daily gratitude practice -- Accompanied by prompts for reflection, these are poems that you'll return to often for inspiration and creative exploration of life's daily gifts.   

James is also the author of three collections of poetry: The Book of What Stays, Telling My Father, Bluebird, and Every Waking Moment.  His poems have appeared in Ploughshares, The New Republic, and The Christian Century, and have been reprinted in former US poet laureate Ted Kooser's weekly newspaper column "American Life in Poetry" (which reaches millions of readers across the world) and featured on Tracy K. Smith's podcast, The Slowdown.

Crews holds an MFA in creative writing from the University of Wisconsin-Madison and a PhD in writing and literature from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.  He teaches poetry at the University of Albany and lives with his husband on an organic farm in Shaftsbury, Vermont.

ON WORTHINESS AND BEYOND:

"I use poetry of course to process difficult moments like sadness and certainly grief, but I have also come to see poetry also as a great way to claim not just our worthiness, but also our joy.  And, I feel like what's missing a lot from American life and probably, life on this planet right now, is that we don't always give ourselves permission to really sink into the joy. Oftentimes we look for ways to short-circuit the joy that we're feeling because it feels so unfamiliar." ~ James Crews

James shares his personal journey of discovering his worthiness and the journey he has been on since a young man. He discusses how he overcomes some of the curveballs that sent him down to a deeper discovery of himself and his worth that began in his early childhood.

James describes poetry: "It's an art form especially suited for our challenging times –to help us dive deeper beneath the surface of our lives and enter a place of wider, wilder more universal knowing."

We discuss how his current students are coping with the challenges of virtual school, the pandemic, and returning to life as normal.

BEYOND THE ACADEMICS, what he teaches his students:  "I'm more interested in poetry as a gateway to know how you're living your life and writing as a tool to live a better life." ~ James Crews

Gail and James also discuss what propelled him to create his latest book, which is far more than poetry. James invites the reader throughout the book to reflect and write about significant questions he offers that may help them embrace more gratitude, hope, and joy.

"I think we don't always hold onto moments of joy and excitement if we don't find a way to capture them... if we don't write them down or share them with friends." ~James Crews

"Stepping out of life, even for a short while, can help us return with a new perspective on what seemed unworkable before." ~James Crews

"We fall out of the practice of patience." ~James Crews

"But the more we take time for ourselves throughout each day, the less we feel obliged to act a certain way or complete a list of tasks just to please someone else." ~ James Crews
 
To learn more about James and his work, check out his website JamesCrews.net and his latest book, How to Love the World, is available on Amazon and elsewhere.  
 

Dr. Brett and Gail have known each other for years.  With his great openness and commitment to learning continually, he hired Gail, who was honored to have coached him and his family, using her propriety worthiness platform.

Dr. Brett began the study of alternative medicine in 1998 at a Bernie Siegel conference. Bernie, an M.D., and an author.  Dr. Siegel is well known for bringing the power of love into the healing journey.

So inspired at that conference, and by having a "God-inspired moment" where a few years later he found a skeleton on a beach, Dr. Brett redirected his career from becoming a biologist to training as a chiropractor, which he has practiced for the past 26 years. He is also became  certified acupuncturist 24 years ago, and later a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner to help clients reframe their limiting thought processes--an added bonus of his chiropractic care.

"NLP shows how our language reflects our subconscious thoughts, and gives us a gateway to how we're working behind the scenes," he explains.

In this interview, Dr. Brett unpacks his use of NLP giving some concrete examples of creating simple, but impactful shifts for his clients.

Learning to trust his own gut instincts, and claiming his worthiness, has impacted his business significantly, as backed up by medical records of his successes in helping clients achieve results faster and often at less cost than other methods of care. 

"I have learned to accept that the way I run my business works for me, even though most gurus say I am doing it wrong."~ Dr. Brett Hightower.

He also became certified in neurofeedback to further help clients suffering with anxiety, depression or insomnia, as he found sometimes needles used in acupuncture don't produce the same long-lasting and permanent results as this newer method.

He notes that our brains are excellent at pattern recognition and repetition. It is how we learn, but the same process can cause us to get stuck in patterns. Our saving grace can also be a problem area.

Neurofeedback, he says, is a mechanism in which your brain becomes aware of what you are doing. Dr. Brett explains how this treatment works in his office from the initial mapping to an average treatment.

A typical treatment may include watching Netflix while hooked up to a brain scanner used to analyze your brain and assess its patterns. For example, if you start to worry or get anxious, the Netflix show may become muted. Until you recognize this pattern, correct it, the show will not be unmuted.  It's about shifting patterns.

"Neurofeedback breaks you out of old patterns. We know as we age we tend to get stuck in routines, that people lose behavioral flexibility.  It's best to keep your brain active and engaged and out of the old loops," according to Dr. Brett. 

Neurofeedback has also been especially helpful for kids with ADD or ADHD, he notes, along with college students challenged by their course workload.

He also shares natural ways to keep the immune system strong during this pandemic.

ON HEALING FROM LOVE:

Dr. Brett says he "serves out of love."  By taking time to truly connect with his clients, he can learn a lot about what is going on in their lives that impacts their health beyond physical ailments.
 
In talking about his passion for combining these models of alternative health, Dr. Brett says:  "Our disease model we have in the United States and in most of the Western world is built around isolating disease and addressing it, rather than cultivating wellness." 

He says it is imperative that you think of yourself as:

• Robust
• Healthy
• Vibrant
• Alive

"That spark of an idea, that you are not trapped, that your body can change based on what you do and how you do it, allows a lot of healing to happen," Dr. Brett says.

To learn more about Brett's three offerings of alternative medicine as a chiropractor, acupuncturist, and neurofeedback practitioner, check out his website at www.raleighmidtownchiropractic.com

Elizabeth Kipp is a health facilitator specializing in stress and chronic pain management, addiction recovery, Ancestral Clearing®, and yoga.

Her book, The Way Through Chronic Pain: Tools to Reclaim Your Healing Power, is focused on helping people realize the power of their inherent healing. 

"I am not my pain. My pain is in me. That's a very important distinction. We are experiencing it but it is not who we are." - Elizabeth Kipp

Personally, Elizabeth healed from over 40 years of chronic pain, including anxiety, panic attacks, and addiction to prescribed opiate and benzodiazepine medication. She now works to help others achieve the same healing for themselves that she experienced. 

Elizabeth discussed how we are primarily wired to have an initial negative response. This is amplified when dealing with chronic pain. This can lead to chaos in the brain known as brain fog or the inability to remember (short-term memory damage).

Chronic pain is any pain: physical, spiritual, emotional, financial, or whatever is felt for 15 out of 30 days for three months or more. 

The brain cannot tell the difference between one kind of pain and another... they all send the same signal and it hurts. For example, the body can't tell the difference between the stress of running from a tiger to save your life and not being able to pay your bills on time.

The National Institute of Health estimates that 1/4 of all Americans suffer from chronic pain occasionally and the World Health Organization estimates 1 out of 5 suffer from chronic pain worldwide.  

It's a SILENT EPIDEMIC – which is why it is no wonder we have addiction problems, according to Elizabeth. The core of addiction is two things:

1. Lack of connection.
2. Looking away from our own experience, which creates a disconnect as our biology is wired to look for more pleasure and avoid pain.

So when we have pain, we want to get rid of it, push it away or disassociate it from it which is the core issue of addiction. 

When asked if there is a difference between healing physical versus emotional chronic pain, Elizabeth says has not found it to be so. The brain cannot tell the difference.

Elizabeth shares tips for healing chronic pain from her book:

• Learn to stay present.
• Don't judge the moment you experience.
• Be grateful – find the gift of the pain.
• You have to believe MORE in the POWER OF THE BODY to heal than the power of the disease you are experiencing. 

Quoting one of her teachers, Elizabeth says: "Pain is the currency of transformation, be careful how you spend it."

Her shift came when she learned: Moving from the victimhood of "The universe is doing this to me" to the empowerment of "The universe is doing this through me." - Elizabeth Kipp

Elizabeth is an Ancestral Clearing Practitioner™ – and she trained with John Newton of the "Health Beyond Belief™ process. 

Ancestral Clearing™ is based on the understanding that we come into the world with the gifts and burdens of our ancestors. Ancestral Clearing™ helps us to heal or clear unresolved issues of our lineage (traumas of the war, famine, environmental, family feuds, etc.)

In working with clients, Elizabeth describes that as part of her process starts by listening to their story for 5 minutes – they need to be heard from someone who gets it; then she takes them through this ancestral clearing; later asks if they can sit still or and she works with them on that.  She encourages client to have a meditation practice – which HELPS CALM THE CHAOS IN THE BRAIN, which is caused by chronic pain.

We discuss the cycle of suffering:

• Disconnection
• Isolation
• Judgment
• Attachment
• Control
• Resentment

TO BREAK THE CYCLE – Stop judging, be in community with someone else who has had that same experience, stop controlling and forgive. 

To learn more about her work or her book, please check out her website: Elizabeth-Kipp.com.

"Would you like to know your future? If your answer is yes, think again. Not knowing is the greatest life motivator. So enjoy, endure, survive, each moment as it comes to you in its proper sequence – a surprise." ~Verna Nazarian

Based on her training in neuroscience and wisdom gained through her spiritual journey, Gail learned that the words "I DON'T KNOW" are some of the most powerful words to embrace. 

Not knowing gives us the chance to truly create anew and have a LASTING CHANGE. When we focus on what we already know, we often end up repeating the past. 

--The gap time between the old ways of being and the new is our most creative, fruitful, and even magical time. And yes, this period of staying in the unfamiliar causes angst, for it means we need to let go of control.

--The trick is not to focus, or base progress, on external circumstances during this time of unknowns. It may look like nothing is changing on the outside, yet the internal transformation that comes from staying with the pause can be life-altering.

--Saying “I don’t know” also opens us up to others’ perspectives, which helps expand our world view, and get out of limited thinking.

When Gail was first introducing her worthiness platform to the national media via a major TV show, she spent a lot of time in solitude grounding herself for whatever will happen—or does not happen—next.  

KNOW THIS SHE SAYS:  I did set very clear intentions for what I wanted to share, and then let go of the outcome.

In that reflective time—I embraced the joy of new possibilities and focused on letting go of old controlling ways of being that no longer serve my growth. 

The show happened, and it was seen by my family, friends, and colleagues all over the country, which helped me bond with others I hadn’t seen in a long while. 

It was those connections that brought me joy, not seeing myself on TV, as grateful I am for national exposure and the new doors that later opened in their own time, not by “willing” them or knowing what would happen.

I know the pandemic, with all its uncertainties, has forced many of us into that “I don’t’ know” time.  Instead of feeling guilty for needing to “wait” or impatient about “what’s next,” use this time to build trust muscles that you WILL BE PROVIDED FOR, and in a potentially new and more expansive way that you alone could have imagined.

I created this new CLAIM YOUR WORTHINESS PODCAST after spending time in the unknown, staying open and trusting.

I love these words of Henri J. M. Nouwen from his book, Life of The Beloved:

“I have found it very important in my own life to try to let go of my wishes and instead to live in hope. I am finding that when I choose to let go of my sometimes petty and superficial wishes and trust that my life is precious and meaningful in the eyes of God, something really new, something beyond my own expectations begins to happen to me…To wait with openness and trust is an enormously radical attitude toward life.”

TO KEEP LETTING GO into I DON’T KNOW, meditate frequently—and make friends with your wise inner and Higher-self, who will guide you forth.

2. The second major and related permission slip to give yourself that can change your life is PERMISSION TO REST.

(to read more, check out Gail's blog post), https://claimyourworthiness.com/permission-to-rest/)

--It’s safe to stop, rest and do nothing.

--answers come in quiet, not all that pushing, begging, pleading, controlling.

--the body, mind, and even spirit heal best in a restful state...as I noted in my book, Cancer as A Love Story...Developing the Mindset for Living, worrying is not a form of exercise...the mind needs to become CALM to create anew.

--And remember this: when in a major change, transformation takes a lot of energy.  Resting and regrouping are important.

--This year especially, the longing for rest seems even stronger, with the pandemic thrusting us into a worldwide transformation that has zapped our energy.  Normal automatic routines now require an extra level of thought and care.

--Despite the weariness, and desire to rejuvenate, I have witnessed personally, and professionally within my coaching practice, how difficult it can be to rest.

--To stop and become “non-productive” from our busy ways is often jolting, and darn right scary for many--especially those who have had a lifetime of being super competent and driven.   

--Some of that drive often comes from having unmet needs as a child, when one was not adequately validated in a nurturing way. 

--To stop, and have to find that validation from within, from moments of doing nothing, is foreign and uncomfortable. Guilt and shame for not being “the responsible self” will try to sabotage the best intentions for rest.  

--Trusting that you will be provided for, when you take time off, is another big challenge for many.  Pushing ourselves is so hard-wired in as the answer to challenges, even though we often find our most creative solutions by stepping away from a problem or issue.

--So, I often grant my clients the same gift I gave myself after nine years of deep inner growth post-cancer and four months working into the wee hours of the morning rebranding my business: I give them “permission to rest.”  

--And, their first reaction is often that they start sobbing, for so many have been so strong and responsible for far too long.   

--Rest not only gives the body time to rejuvenate; it provides space for all emotions to be felt and released, as the body, mind, and spirit get re-centered.

--My clients’ tears are often a recognition of their exhaustion and grief as they start absorbing the enormity of their losses from lack of playfulness, spontaneity, and time off from thinking and planning. 

--Initially relieved to feel these emotions that have been buried for years, these clients (like I did when first diagnosed with breast cancer) will then typically give all sorts of reasons why they cannot stop, detailing a list of their responsibilities and obligations.   

--The truth is we will always find distractions from choosing to sit, and “be” with ourselves.  I understand that.  The adrenaline rush of “doing” is more ego-stroking than discovering the parts of ourselves that have been painfully neglected.

--These are the words I use to help busy clients start to break open to new empowering, peaceful and elevated ways of being:  It is safe to rest. 

--That excessive drive to accommodate the demands of the external world, to satisfy the ego, will never provide the same levels of joy in finding and living from an inner, grounded sense of being.  

--The search to more fully claim and express your authentic self also often begins with rest, and at the very least, daily moments of stillness. 

--For all its downsides, the pandemic has brought us inward and is shifting us to a new way of learning—to allowing in, waiting for answers, versus pushing forward.

And, one of the most empowering things we can do in a restful state is to choose to change our mindset by rewiring in new beliefs.  The mind cannot welcome new information in a state of chaos.

Accept, versus resist, the discomfort of stopping all the busyness. Choose to see rest as a life-enhancing gift to yourself to build a new foundation of worthiness, based on who you are, not what you do or have.  

TRUST THE EMPTY SPACES IN YOUR LIFE and know that they will fill up in better ways than you ever imagined versus living from a continual state of exhaustion based on past conditioning of “performing,” “being good,” “reaching” and being “the super-responsible one.”

And, ask yourself:  Why have you valued being chronically busy more than being present to yourself and others?  Is there a paradigm shifted needed?  When you rest and fill yourself up, you have more to offer yourself and others.

Your other responsibilities will still be there waiting, as you rest and regroup, but this time as you rewire your brain for optimal outcomes, your needs and desires will be included in the picture of your most fulfilling life.

 Here’s an example of what happens when we give ourselves PERMISSION TO REST:

I got a book endorsement from a major doctor when I was on a 12-day vacation, intentionally unplugged, and chose to LET GO.  A client heard the endorsement on an Instagram video when that doctor read about my book for a full five minutes on her video.

Rest is especially important if you feel stuck in life, to give your mind time to change the channel of inner talk repeating the same old stories of life not working for you.

At rest, when the mind is calm, infinite new possibilities often emerge.

And as yoga instructor Adyashanti says: 

Bruce Cryer is currently the president at The Graduate Institute of Holistic Studies.  He was formerly CEO of HeartMath and has since been an adjunct professor at Stanford University's Executive Program since 1997, teaching on the role of stress, performance, emotional intelligence resilience, and creativity within the Graduate School of Business, the School of Medicine and the Stanford employee wellness program.

In addition to Stanford, Bruce has led initiatives for clients such as the Mayo Clinic, University of Delaware College of Health Sciences, Arizona State University, University of California, San Francisco, Center for Health Professions, Kaiser Permanente, New York Open Center, The World Bank, NASA, Unilever, Cisco, Cathay Pacific Airways and the National Health Service in the UK.

Bruce is co-author of From Chaos to Coherence: The Power to Change Performance and the Harvard Business Review article "Pull the Plug on Stress", both of which feature the HeartMath System.

A two-year health crisis (which entailed cancer, life-challenging staff infections, and double hip replacements) convinced him to focus his energies on creativity and how organizations and individuals can tap into the full creative capacity of everyone.  Bruce also shared that it was during this season of health challenges that he was also mourning the loss of his mother and the end of his marriage.

Bruce needed to connect with his creativity. Now he enjoys robust health while singing, dancing, writing, teaching, mentoring, and doing nature photography. He recently released Renaissance Human, an album of original songs co-created with the Brothers Koren. We play a song off his album during this episode.

Bruce began his career as a singer/dancer/actor on Broadway, including two years in the Fantasticks, the world's longest-running musical.

Even with his impressive lists of accomplishments, Bruce believes he is still a work in progress and shares with vulnerability his story of rediscovering his worthiness after a career change took away much of what was familiar with his life.

Inspiring quotes from Bruce Cryer from this episode:

ON HIS TRANSITIONS/TRANSFORMATIONS:

(Upon leaving HeartMath as CEO)

~"This is not about escaping something.  This is about the next phase of your life which is not clear yet, but you're an adventurer so you will find it."

~"You do this.  You make big changes when your soul is directing it."

~"To continue to ask the heart for guidance.  You can sense you're on the right track, but all the details won't necessarily lead you out, but you got to stay with it.  Stay trusting that you have a heart that is intelligent, that is part of your soul, and there is a guidance that is happening, but you got to surrender sometimes to the expectation of what it needs to look like."

ON WORTHINESS and CREATIVITY:

~"Be worthy to yourself...Each have the ability to tune in deeply enough to our intuition/our heart intelligence to find the flow as where we're supposed to go as the next phase of growth and enfoldment, and it often does not come through structure."

~"I believe being human means we innately, every single person, has massive amounts of creative energy. We are made to be creative.  If I'm not honoring that I'm a creative being, then how worthy am I going to feel?"

Bruce shares about what "stuck" energy is and how it can be changed into creative energy.

FIVE COMPONENTS TO ALIGNING WITH OUR INNATE CREATIVITY:

• Mindfulness
• Movement
• Nature
• Artistic Expression
• Playfulness

Bruce shares about his new role as President of The Graduate Institute and the creative outlets his role is providing to him. He helps people understand that they did not get overlooked when everyone else got their creativity, that it is in them, and they will find their unique ways to unleash it.

Today, Bruce is offering to generously share a beautiful YouTube video of his song "Bless the Children" for those who email him at [email protected]

You can also order the Renaissance Human Album (or Bruce's other creative offerings) at his website at BruceCryer.com or go directly to the What Makes Your Heart Sing Store