That's Not How That Works

We just got done with Thanksgiving, and with it comes talk online of the need to “decolonize” the holiday, ditch the turkey, potatoes and get togethers and just make it a normal day. So y’all, it’s time to have a discussion of the tradition of Thanksgiving in the US, because although we aren’t arguing about the history of the holiday, we shouldn’t be throwing the whole tradition away. Join us in this episode for a breakdown of what parts are actually really important to melanated folks and those with marginalized identities, why we CAN’T actually decolonize the holiday, the healing elements to be found here, and what we think we should be doing instead of opting out of the whole thing. We’re exploring: -Something that really irks Trudi and why it’s NOT helpful when you do it -THIS practice that’s the main way you can spot the commodification of social justice -Why the advice to totally opt out of all Thanksgiving traditions is not only not helpful, but harmful (and what to do instead) -The reason that the BLM movement, anti-racism work, and anti-oppression work thrived during the pandemic -How illuminating something and shaming are different and where they’re similar (and why you need to be aware of this fine line!) -The difference between disruption and agitation and why it’s important to understand what these REALLY mean -And more! Grab your spot for the first LIVE That’s Not How That Works workshop in 2 years! The Commodification of Social Justice: https://weeze.teachable.com/p/cosj Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/trudilebron https://instagram.com/accordingtoweeze https://instagram.com/nothowthatworks Music by Dennis “Aganee” Jenkins https://www.aganee.com https://instagram.com/therealaganee

Wanna know what’s really been chapping our asses lately?! In this episode, Trudi and Weeze are unpacking the issue happening way too frequently online: the serious misuse of this work as a part of social media or email marketing strategies to sell shit to people. Ready for a “come to Beyoncé” moment here? Then listen in, because we’re breaking it all down for you and bringing you what this looks like, who’s doing it (it’s not just white folks!), and 3 things to watch out for online before deciding to work with someone in this space. We’re exploring: Where we see this happening and why it’s so important to be on the lookout for it The appropriate and RIGHT way to do this work What you need to do before you can really step into the role of an expert The classic weapon of whiteness that some melanated folks are using, where it comes from, and why it needs to stop THESE words y’all need to stop using interchangeably (and why it matters) If the very first thing that comes out of someone’s mouth is THIS…it’s a big ass red flag A nifty list of previous episodes for you to dig deeper and get a full understanding of all of these things Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/trudilebron https://instagram.com/accordingtoweeze https://instagram.com/nothowthatworks Music by Dennis “Aganee” Jenkins https://www.aganee.com https://instagram.com/therealaganee

It’s that time of year again....and we don’t mean Christmas. With Halloween just a couple of weeks behind us and Thanksgiving around the corner, it’s time to dive back into the conversation around these holidays and break down some shit for y’all. In this episode, Trudi and Weeze are breaking down Halloween costumes and cultural appropriation, the ways white supremacy has harmed phenotypically white as well as marginalized folks, and what can happen when you make the effort to reconnect to where your ancestors came from. We’re exploring: Where cultural appropriation stems from The psychological and emotional resource that you lose when you trade in your ethnicity for whiteness What happens when you don’t have a connection to culture, history or family The question you should be asking yourself if you wanted to be one of THESE things for Halloween An opportunity for you to start unpacking some of this and help you start reconnecting to your actual ethnic identity A reframe for you about Thanksgiving The ways generational trauma affects more people than you’d think And more! Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/trudilebron https://instagram.com/accordingtoweeze https://instagram.com/nothowthatworks Music by Dennis “Aganee” Jenkins https://www.aganee.com https://instagram.com/therealaganee

Someone hits you up and says, “Hey, can we talk real quick?” What comes up for you? If immediate fear hits that you’re about to have the worst possible conversation ever, that’s from corporate trauma (and you’re not alone!) We’ve all probably had “that talk” with a superior, or been put on blast for being 5 minutes late, or seen someone take the credit for someone else’s idea when we’ve worked in the corporate world, right? But it’s time to start ditching that corporate trauma, and in this episode Trudi & Weeze are breaking down what that actually means, how it shows up in our businesses, and how to avoid continuing the trauma into another job or your own business. We’re exploring: How our insecurities around our roles in the corporate space affect how we collaborate with others All the things that are affected by corporate trauma How we are doing business differently ONE thing that is imperative to avoiding continuing the trauma when you are an entrepreneur What our non-oppressive business practices look like A sneak peak behind the scenes of our hiring process and how we run our businesses And more! Go back and listen to these episodes for more on this topic: Ep. 18: Protect Your Peace! https://soundcloud.com/nothowthatworks/ep18?si=1eb7efb47c9b4b26a0a5d48d498968d4 Ep. 63: People or Profit? https://soundcloud.com/nothowthatworks/ep-63-people-or-profit?si=6e4605192fb7415f9a6e15a8ca531b8a Ep. 72: Before We Lead, We Must Heal w/ Greg Wieting https://soundcloud.com/nothowthatworks/ep-72-before-we-lead-we-must-heal-w-greg-wieting?si=9a72ece4a05647c7b953f29beae07439 Ep. 75: Decolonizing Professionalism & Work https://soundcloud.com/nothowthatworks/ep-75-decolonizing-professionalism-work?si=20f94cee434a430da11ec5a272fde842 Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/trudilebron https://instagram.com/accordingtoweeze https://instagram.com/nothowthatworks Music by Dennis “Aganee” Jenkins https://www.aganee.com https://instagram.com/therealaganee

If you’re from a mixed race background, you’ve probably heard questions like “I know you’re not white, but I don’t know what you are?” or “Why are you that color?” or “But where are you ACTUALLY from?” and it can be infuriating and traumatic. This is something that Weeze experiences, too, as a fair-skinned indigenous African woman and it happens to so many people. So in today’s episode, Trudi and Weeze are diving into racial ambiguity, mixed race identity, what it’s like and what it means in the work that we do. We’re exploring: Why language is so important in what we call ourselves What the motivation of investigations into your background are REALLY about Breaking down the questions “where are you from?” and “what are you?” The conversation we need to have amongst ourselves as multi-racial folks What it’s like when you don’t fit into a box The functions of colorism and anti-Blackness vs racism Where social identities play a role in this work The risk and gamble we face as racially ambiguous folks And more! Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/trudilebron https://instagram.com/accordingtoweeze https://instagram.com/nothowthatworks Music by Dennis “Aganee” Jenkins https://www.aganee.com https://instagram.com/therealaganee

Y’all get SO upset on the interwebs over the idea of accountability, and we need to have a serious conversation about it because a lot of folks don’t actually know what that is. In today’s episode, Trudi and Weeze are breaking down what accountability REALLY means and the 4 important things you need to remember before you get involved online. We’re exploring: Why tools and frameworks are so important The thing that is so important in this work but the assumption of it can be so dangerous Where consent plays an (often forgotten!) role Who actually gets a say in what accountability looks like ONE important thing you should not do when facilitating repair of harm What a successful reparative process ACTUALLY looks like And more! Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/trudilebron https://instagram.com/accordingtoweeze https://instagram.com/nothowthatworks Music by Dennis “Aganee” Jenkins https://www.aganee.com https://instagram.com/therealaganee

We’ve seen a lot of changes in the work and the industry of anti-racism over the years and a ton of misinformation out there. So in today’s episode, we’re digging into what anti-racism work ACTUALLY looks like in 2021 (and a little reminder of what it’s not!), the cornerstone of any anti-racism or anti-oppression work, and the shit we see happen online WAY too much when folks think they’re doing “the work.” We’re exploring: - What anti-racism work is NOT in our day to day lives Where the work DOESN’T happen The slippery slope you can fall into trying to do this work on the interwebs Where social media plays a role and where it doesn’t The difference between learning and action and how to tell what you’re ACTUALLY doing One thing in this industry that gets Trudi super fired up about THIS trap you can fall into that actually reproduces whiteness The ONE question you need to be asking any DEI expert you are considering working with Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/trudilebron https://instagram.com/accordingtoweeze https://instagram.com/nothowthatworks Music by Dennis “Aganee” Jenkins https://www.aganee.com https://instagram.com/therealaganee

We’re back, y’all!!! A lot of things have changed since our last episode, and we feel like completely different people (in a good way!) In today’s episode, we’re diving into why we had an extended break between seasons, what we’d forgotten doing this work, the biggest shifts we’re making in our lives and businesses, and a sneak peek at an upcoming shift for the podcast.

It’s the end of the fall 2020 season for That’s Not How That Works, so today we want to have a conversation about what we want to leave you with and what we hope you do from here. Listen in as we remind you what the hell this work is about in the first place (and what it ISN’T), what you can do to make sure you are moving the baton forward in this work, what you should do with those goal posts you’ve been setting, why you cannot center whiteness in any of this work and what you need to focus on centering instead. Find out how you can work with us: https://www.trudilebron.com/letswork https://www.accordingtoweeze.com/ Podia: https://accordingtoweeze.podia.com/weeze Revisit the summer syllabus: Foundational Episode 68 - The Basics: justice, equity, diversity & inclusion: https://soundcloud.com/nothowthatworks/ep-68-the-basics-justice-equity-diversity-inclusion Episode 25 - Can White folks Experience Racism? (and how TNHTW almost got cancelled): https://soundcloud.com/nothowthatworks/ep25 Episode 76 - Education vs. Action: Each plays a role in equity but only one creates change: https://soundcloud.com/nothowthatworks/ep-76-education-vs-action-each-plays-a-role-in-equity-but-only-one-creates-change From Ally to Accomplice Episode 19 - Lets Cut the BS: From Ally to Accomplice: https://soundcloud.com/nothowthatworks/ep-19-lets-cut-the-bullshit-from-ally-to-accomplice Episode 70 - Wait WTF…I can be down and still not be woke?: https://soundcloud.com/nothowthatworks/wait-wtfi-can-be-down-and-still-not-be-woke Episode 29 - When Glennon Doyle’s Attempt at Allyship Went Wrong: https://soundcloud.com/nothowthatworks/ep29 Whiteness Episode 37 - The Basics of White Centering: https://soundcloud.com/nothowthatworks/ep37 Episode 41 - Whitesplaining and Webster…A look at language: https://soundcloud.com/nothowthatworks/ep41 Episode 10 - Don’t Be A BBQ Becky: https://soundcloud.com/nothowthatworks/ep-10-dont-be-a-bbq-becky Safety Episode 64 - Safe Space, a journey: the what, how & how not!: https://soundcloud.com/nothowthatworks/ep-64-safe-space-a-journey-the-what-how-how-not Episode 46 - Do White Folks Deserve Safe Spaces?: https://soundcloud.com/nothowthatworks/ep46 Episode 60 - Byron Katie, The Fairy Godmother of Spiritual Bypassing: https://soundcloud.com/nothowthatworks/ep-60-byron-katie-the-fairy-godmother-of-spiritual-bypassing Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/trudilebron https://instagram.com/accordingtoweeze https://instagram.com/nothowthatworks Music by Dennis “Aganee” Jenkins https://www.aganee.com https://instagram.com/therealaganee

It’s story time! On today’s episode, we’re recounting a little scenario that happened recently in Trudi’s free private Facebook group that caused her to hit up Weeze on a weekend to discuss. Today we’re not only exploring non-disparage clauses in coaching contracts — what they are and why they are harmful — but also boundaries and consent, silencing and erasure, restorative justice and how to do it right, as well as what ACTUALLY happened in this thread in the Facebook group and what SHOULD have happened instead. This tale of Karen, Karen, and Karen is one you don’t want to miss.