AnnodRight: The Blog

In this episode a couple of things were mentioned including a podcast episode where I speak more about orgasms and some resources, too! Here they are:

1. Kings of the Heart Episode 1: The Orgasm Gap

2. Dr. O’s Sex Therapy Toolbox

3. Get on my schedule!

I really wanted to talk about something that I feel is a pandemic that needs to stop. It's something that bothers me, hurts me, and makes me wonder what kind of work I and other sex therapist out here in these streets doing if this is occuring. I'm talking about...hold your breath, faking orgasms.

I wanted to dedicate a blog post to a few Black women (and women of color) whose work revolves around sexuality and are doing the damn thing. What better timing, than Women's History Month.

Oftentimes, whether or not we want to have it this way or even if we think it's silly, we get a lot of our ideas from TV. We form our thoughts about our ideal relationship from the various places that we see relationships happen, including the media.

I emanation buying some Valentine’s Day goodies from Askgoody.com/shop. Why did I choose them out of ALL the spaces available to buy great toys? I chose them because they are Black Owned and Goody is a whole sex educator! So yeah, this Black History month (and all year) I am supporting Black owned businesses.

 Last week while I was in the therapy office I said something out my mouth that didn't make no daggone sense when I said it but made perfect freaking sense as I explained it. I told someone to act like their clitoris. To channel their clitoris and to live that life. I know y'all are probably reading this with a side eye but it was actually in the context of what Black folk, especially Black women do all the time, work to produce.

Have you ever been going through something mentally or emotionally and felt like you should be able to get over it in a couple of days? You told yourself that healing shouldn’t take long, so you’re confused when you’re still upset weeks later.

The superwoman narrative is a death sentence!! The idea that you should be all things to all people, taking care of everyone except ourselves, constantly and consistently is detrimental to our entire wellbeing. It’s not good for our mental health, physical health, sexual health, and it's definitely not good for the relationships we are trying to cultivate.

I mean you are making monetary goals and every other goal you can think of, telling yourself you are going to start working towards them come Jan 1 because you feel hope and a sense of urgency, but then you feel overwhelmed and done. You started with desire, hope, and happiness, and now you're feeling discouraged, overwhelmed, and overworked. So, let's talk about how you stay on track with your 2020 goals.

I am constantly reminding my people that they are enough! I remind them that there is nothing they can do to prove their worth and they shouldn’t feel like they need to. When you start trying to prove your value and worth you’ll find yourself doing instead of being.