John Thurman's Resilient Solutions Shortcast

One of the questions I ask many clients is, “What is your purpose or mission in life?”

The inquiry usually leads to a pause, and they often say, “I’ve never been asked that question before.” If they have a church background, they say something like, “To love and serve God” or “To get married and raise a family.” But for the most part, they lack a personal mission statement or a clearly defined purpose. They usually need more focus, and a specific point to aim for.

Focus is essential to living an intentional life because it allows us to be mindful of our actions and make decisions that serve our highest purpose. When we focus on doing what is necessary for growth, transformation, and success, we can create a more meaningful existence for ourselves.

To learn more

John Thurman
www.johnthurman.info
505-343-2011

1.  Watch out for anger.
2. Get closer to your partner.
3.  Be creative in finding ways to support your partner and grow your relationship.
4. Integrate fun, special days into your routine.
5. For Guys only - get off the couch and engage with your wife.

By the way, be sure to download my 21 Ways to Improve Your Marriage ebook.

Here is a link to the entire article.

Here are the 4 Tips - Be sure to check out the entire article to learn the right way to encourage your kids.

Tip# 1 - Model Resilience

Tip# 2 - Raise a Problem Solver

Tip# 4 - Praise Your Child Purposefully and Intentionally

Tip# 4-  Set the Pace, be the Example because these life skills are more caught than taught.

In the last episode, I discussed 4 points:

1. We need to help our children become treasure hunters and not trash collectors.
2. We want to teach and model optimism to our kids, and show them how being made in God's image can make a positive difference in the world.
3. You and I want to encourage our kids to do their best and to achieve what they can while helping others.
4. We want to remind them that failure is not final, only an opportunity to learn and do better.

In part two, of this episode, I cover the remaining three points about raising resilient kids.

1.  Both teach and model the importance of living a life of integrity.
2. Show your children the importance of taking full responsibility for their actions.
3. Help them understand the power of community and connection.

Link to the article

Next Week: 4 Practical, Proven Strategies to Build Your Child's Resilience and Improved Their Self-Esteem.

Contact info:  www.johnthurman.info
Office: 505-343-2011

Point # 1
There are two basic types of people in the world—those who edify and build up and those who detract and tear down. Choose to be the former. One of our goals as caring adults is to teach our kids that the best way to develop a happy, intentional, successful life is through their achievements and contributions toward the betterment of others. 
Point # 2
We have to teach our kids to be optimists and believe that as individuals created in the image of God, they have the creative power to make a difference in this world. 

Point # 3
Seeking to achieve in your personal life and contribute to the betterment of others is not an easy path.

“Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly.”

Robert Kennedy.

We must both model and teach our children that anything worth doing or having is worth potentially failing for.

Point # 4
How do we operationally define failure? First, failure is never final. We must instill in our children that failure is not a lack of achievement. Failure is determined by the lack of effort or refusal to try. Life is filled with scary and sometimes tough decisions; they need to learn how to make the best decisions given the information they have at a given moment.

Don't allow decision constipation to steal your capacity to make wise, life-enriching decisions. Refuse to become a victim of failure.

 “I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

The Apostle Paul – Philippians 3:14 ESV

Link to article

A recent Pew Research study has shown that 76% of parents are concerned about their children’s mental health, particularly depression, and anxiety. This is a worrying figure, as it indicates that many parents are unaware of the signs and symptoms of depression in their children. Parents need to understand how to recognize if their child is depressed or suicidal so that they can get the help they need.

In mid-February, numerous news outlets reported an alarming number of teens are feeling depressed and suicidal, and teen girls are at the highest risk

According to a CDC Report reported by FOX News, released earlier this year:

Fifty-seven percent of high school females reported feeling sadness or hopelessness in 2021, a 58 percent increase from 36 percent in 2011.

Thirty percent of females seriously considered attempting suicide in 2021, an almost 60 percent increase from 19 percent in 2011.

Twenty-four percent of females made a suicide plan in 2021, a 60 percent increase from 15 percent in 2011.

How would you know if your teen is depressed? Listen, read, and learn!

Learn more by reading the entire article with links

Resistance

Resistance is essentially stress inoculation. It refers to the ability of an individual, group, organization, or even an entire population to resist manifestations of clinical distress, impairment, or dysfunction associated with critical incidents, terrorism, and even mass disasters. Resistance is a form of psychological/behavioral immunity to distress and dysfunction.

Resilience
The second is resilience. According to Dr. George Bonanno, resilience is a naturally-occurring tool most people have always had in their psychological lockers, which is enhanced or weakened by experience and circumstances. In a nutshell, resilience is the power to overcome adversity, trauma, and low self-esteem and to be strengthened.
My friend, trauma survivor, and fellow author Danielle Bernock says, “To be resilient is the ability to thrive instead of being traumatized.”

5 Tips for Dealing with Trauma

Tip # 1 – Supervise your self-talk.

Tip # 2 – Stop comparing yourself to others.

Tip#3 – Stretch your limiting beliefs.

Tip # 4 – Build up others.

Tip# 5 – Get help.

Here is a link to the blog

Blessings,

John Thurman
www.johnthurman.info

Email: [email protected]

Upcoming Events with John

Feb 26th - Dealing with Anxiety - Sunday, February 26th @ Grace Church 9:00 and 10:30 am.  Church is located @ 6901 San Antonio NE, ABQ. This is a public event

March 3rd and 5th - Marriage and Family Conference - Evangel Christian Center 4901 Montgomery Blvd NE, here is the link. This is a public event.

March 25th - Book Signing - Bibles Plus 2740 Wyoming NE Times TBA

April 1st - Mental Health for Church Security Teams - Private event

Every one of us has been injured by life. How to Deal with Old Wounds: A Biblical Perspective is the first of a three-part series to give you some tools to help you become more resilient as you work through life’s challenges with the Lord’s help.

Four Reasons Men Don’t Deal with Wounds

There are several reasons but in this article, I will focus on four common reasons that men struggle with their wounds.

First, culture has trained us to believe that real men don’t cry.

Second, masculinity is under pressure. Current cultural nuances and the innuendos of “toxic masculinity” in the media have scared our daughters and caused many young men to fail to embrace their masculinity.

Third, sadly, some men feel that church life is irrelevant to their needs.

Fourth, because many men don’t have a support system, many will bury their woundedness. The result is various addictive behaviors, drugs, gaming, sexual addictions, food, pleasure, drinking, and even hyper-religious involvement. For many men, if this woundedness is not addressed, it will significantly negatively impact their lives and relationships.

Food for Thought

C.S. Lewis once wrote, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains…[Pain] is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world”- C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain.

The Lord is more concerned with our character than our comfort; at times, He chooses to use calamity to refine us.

Link to the Blog

There are three final stages in How to Grow as a Man of Faith Pt 2: the Lover Stage, the King Stage, and the Sage Stage.

The Lover Stage

The lover needs the warrior to act decisively and restrain his passions.

The lover stage (the 20s to 30s) is the awakening of the heart. This could manifest as a love of poetry, nature, music…and eventually romance.

This is the stage in which men learn how to love themselves by loving others. It can also deepen your awareness of how you are created in God’s image.

There are two extremes of lovers we need to look at before we move on.

The addicted lover becomes consumed by short-term pleasure at almost any cost. This person is a collector of experiences, women, and toys. The addicted lover resists structure and pursues pleasure.

The impotent lover lives in a muted world. His world may be void of color and flavor.

The King Stage

In the king stage (age 40-60), the man is mature, centered, and decisive. He lives with integrity and purpose. He protects his realm and serves his community.

Read the entire article

How to Grow as a Man of Faith Pt # 1: The first three stages.

When I was a child,  I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 1 Corinthians 13:11 NLT

To grow as a man of faith, you must understand the stages of masculine development. This is the first part of a series that will show you a map as you continue your journey.
A man of faith is someone with a sense of purpose. He knows he has a life mission and understands what it means to be a man. This understanding comes from his faith, but it also comes from the relationships he has with others. He understands a well-lived life is in the context of a community.

A Christian man is a man made in the image of God. If married, he is responsible for being the head of his home and leading his family. He is a man who is faithful to his wife and children, and he makes time for them every day. A Christian man is a man who knows he is created for greatness, but instead of chasing after it, he chooses to live humbly as an example to others.

In this article, my heart desires to encourage you to be the man God called you to be. To help you to become a God-loving, courageous, resilient man with an enhanced ability to lead, love, serve, and leave a legacy in this world. To do this, I will review one roadmap to understanding some developmental markers we men face.

As with any "journey," there must be a starting place. Here is an overview of the process.

The Beloved Son

The Cowboy Stage

The Warrior Stage

Here are four general things about a real warrior, whether single or married.

        1. A warrior is trained

        2. A warrior is humble

        3. A warrior is accustomed to sacrifice

       4. A warrior is connected to others

Read the article

John Thurman
[email protected]
505-343-2011
www.johnthurman.net