Last Session of the Day with The Psych Guys

The “CBT Triangle” involves thoughts, feelings, and behaviors (and how they all relate to each other).  

In CBT, we take a close look at our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and how each of them interact. We look at that interaction to try to explain how we are feeling, and to try to change behaviors. 

CBT can be great for anxiety, depression, and anger issues, but it’s not super exploratory, meaning it often isn’t great for longstanding trauma or addiction issues. It’s more designed for symptom relief. 

In this treatment approach, there is a decent amount of homework. For example, you’ll probably be asked to keep a “thought journal.” 

CBT is more than just having a conversation with a friend, it’s tangible and it’s goal-oriented. 

Sometimes, clients aren’t always comfortable with this approach, and if that’s the case, we’ll use a different approach. 

One last piece of advice: Do your research and talk to potential clinicians, but don’t rigidly think about treatment A vs. treatment B. This is not like medication. In therapy a seasoned clinician will often borrow tactics from multiple different treatment types. 

When we attempt to over-regulate our internal emotions, we might go for a run, exercise, count to ten, take a deep breath, burn candles, or take a hot shower. But we must recognize that we are individually trying to manage --- and many people over-rely on that strategy. 

When we verbalize our thoughts and feelings, on the other hand, there is power in that. It helps regulate how we feel. 

So if you need to vent, do it! But is venting always the answer? No. Some people use therapy just as a “venting room.” But as clinicians, we need to be more than just a friend, we need to push that person a little bit, re-contextualize a bit and start asking, “how can we start using other regulatory strategies?”

The takeaway? We could all benefit from tuning into ourselves a little bit more, learning to cope and vent, and practicing regulating our emotions properly. 

Oftentimes when you dig deeper in people with addictive behavior patterns, you find a lot of trauma.

Substance use is what we call a “solution behavior” --- meaning it’s used to manage some kind of uncomfortable feeling. That’s why we try to look a little closer. What feelings are we trying to manage/cope with here?

When painful life events get stuck in us, they live there and they create sore spots. When those sore spots get poked, all of those feelings from those events come out. 

Then we have to do something about it. What do we do? Turn to drugs or alcohol often. But there are better ways to manage trauma and build resilience. This episode dives into several. 

People are having mid-life and quarter-life crises earlier and earlier. They might be feeling overwhelmed or feeling that their job is unsustainable.

You could treat your mid-life (or quarter life) crisis as a problem --- but you could also see it as an opportunity to craft new experiences in your life. Try and treat it as a gift --- is your time being used in ways that align with your values?

This is an opportunity to reflect, to game plan, and to open your eyes. We’re not saying to quit your job and to move to a remote location and to fish all day. But we are saying that we should all be opening our eyes a bit more. It’s easy to get caught into the trap of “gotta make it til the weekend.” But what a bleak existence that is. While it might be comfortable, that is not a fulfilling life. 

Also, we should all be in touch with our mortality. We will all die. And that is an uncomfortable thing to think about. But recognizing our mortality can help us make the most of our lives. 

One exercise can be to write your own eulogy. Who will be delivering it? Who will be in attendance at your funeral? This will help you articulate your values. Now ask yourself, are you living according to those values?

There’s no right or wrong answer. It’s just an exercise into what’s meaningful for you. 

This all brings our minds back to the here and now. And getting back in touch with what’s really important. Always remember, you have the opportunity to make changes and feel fulfilled. 

Some of our emotion regulation is done in the body automatically, while some is up to you to manage. 

The amount of regulation is different from person to person. If you have very little ability of emotional regulation, your emotional swings might be more extreme --- like with impulse control disorders. 

Sometimes we can fall into a cycle of dependence to regulate our emotions. Drinking can be an emotional regulator --- but is it a positive one?

How can we look at our problems rationally and not “catastrophize” everything?

We strongly encourage everyone to Google “cognitive distortions,” look at these, understand them, and notice when we might be engaging in these behaviors. 

Other topics discussed include self soothing, phobias, dialectical behavior therapy, and reframing, among others. 

There’s a lot of inappropriate shame and guilt in our society.  A lot of times depression is actually shame. A lot of times anxiety is actually shame. Why do some who should feel ashamed not? Why do others feel shame that’s unwarranted? What level of shame and guilt is excessive? What level is appropriate? How can we follow the guidance of our emotions? Konstantin & Tim take on these topics and more. 

Two psychologists are chatting in a bar, you get to listen in, but with better audio!

The Lukin Center
https://lukincenter.com

Konstantin & Tim reflect on why and how they each got into the psychotherapy profession. 

How did influential professors help pave the way? What factors went into driving their personal interests in the subject? What motivates people to learn more about the inner-workings of the mind?

Two psychologists are chatting in a bar, you get to listen in, but with better audio!

The Lukin Center:
https://lukincenter.com

Episode 3 addresses what it's like to be a psychotherapist --- and a male psychotherapist in particular. 

What's it like to be a therapist? What's it like to be a male in a largely female-dominated profession? Are we constantly psycho-analyzing everyone all the time? Are we always "on the clock"? How do we balance private and and professional? What connotations come up when we tell new people about our profession? Is there a misconception that psychotherapists are able to "keep it together" at all times?

Konstantin & Tim take on these topics and more. 

Two psychologists are chatting in a bar, you get to listen in, but with better audio!

The Lukin Center
https://lukincenter.com

Don't like working out the traditional way by yourself at the gym? Interested in how exercise can improve symptoms of depression? 

Two psychologists are chatting in a bar, you get to listen in, but with better audio!

Learn more about Colleen & Rachel's work at https://www.fitnesswithfriends.net/

Konstantin Lukin PhD & Timothy Meyer LCSW of the Lukin Center in New Jersey address some of the reasons why people might be afraid and or hesitant to seek psychological treatment. 

Two psychologists are chatting in a bar, you get to listen in, but with better audio!

Stay tuned for future episodes!