Uniquely Brilliant Podcast

In today’s episode, Becky Berry and Diana Bader talk about the difference between presence and focus.

Being present is being fully engaged in the moment. It's taking the time to listen fully. 

Since energy flows to where our  thoughts go, when our thoughts are scattered, our energy is also scattered. Being present mentally and physically keeps us aligned. 

When our energy is aligned, our thoughts are calmer. The act of being present allows us to focus. 

We have to engage our bodies before our minds. When we align our bodies, and ground ourselves physically in the present, we think more clearly. 

Focus is a brain activity. When we bring our energy into the moment we can bring our minds into it, too.

Diana has Becky do the 5 Senses Exercise to demonstrate how to be present (aka grounded). Here’s how it works: 

• We look around and name 5 things we see. 
• We close our eyes, listen closely, then name 4 things we hear.
• We reach out and touch 3 things and notice how they feel. 
• We sniff and identify 2 things we smell.
• We identify 1 thing we can taste. 

As we go through the exercise, it brings us back into our bodies and into the present moment. 

Where our energy goes, our mind flows. 

The book referred to in this episode is The Extended Mind: The Power of the Thinking Outside the Brain by Annie Murphy Paul.

In this episode of Uniquely Brilliant, Becky Berry and Diana Bader talk about thinking, the third component of productivity from the book, Essentialism by Greg McKeown. 

Becky shares how she gets blocked when she does not think before she makes a big move.

The precepts of Essentialism consist of narrowing things down to the essentials. The process is virtually impossible to accomplish if we don’t invest time in figuring out what is essential to us. 

Sleeping, thinking, and playing are the three pillars of being productive. And, the most successful, productive people schedule thinking time on their calendar!

It’s when we invest our time in stopping and thinking about what we want, that we can create purposeful movement forward. By gifting ourselves with time to think, we create room to identify what is truly important.

Diana reminds us to view the big shifts that happen as a result of our thinking as adventures. 

Sometimes we have to get lost in our thoughts to figure out what we’re really thinking about!  

Thought gives us the ability to see where we are and where we want to go from a fresh prespective.

Pause and think!

In this episode of Uniquely Brilliant, Diana Bader and Becky Berry discuss our absolute need for adequate sleep, how to get it, and the results of inadequate sleep.

Good sleep is critical to our bodies performing to the best of their abilities. 

Sleep protects both our physical and mental assets.

Even when we miss sleep and feel like we are doing ok, the lack of sleep will eventually catch up to us.

Our brains store what they learned during the day while they sleep. And, while we’re sleeping our brains also get some well-needed rest!

When we’re not sleeping enough, it’s impossible to be as productive as we could be. 

Yoga Nidra is a yoga practice that simulates what the brain does during sleep. It has said to be as refreshing as 8 hours of sleep. Here’s a 20-minute practice video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7H0FKzeuVVs

Becky and Diana share how they feel after a night of no sleep. Diana says it's much harder to work out, and Becky says she feels heavy.

They discuss how we all function differently when it comes to sleep and our innate biorhythms.. Some people are morning people, and others function better at night - and that’s perfect. It is important that we understand our own biorhythms so we can respect them. 

Becky and Diana also discuss different ways to get to sleep. Diana does a guided meditation, while Becky reads on her Kindle. 

They share the concept of making a list of things to do to help us get to sleep. 

Sleep gives us the energy and brain power to handle whatever comes at us the next day!

On this episode of Uniquely Brilliant Diana Bader and Becky Berry talk about the importance of play.

Lila is Diana’s word of the year. Lila, which means playful manifestation in Sanskrit. She shares how she is enacting its spirit.

They talk about the way spending 5 minutes in a day can change our outlook.

Becky shares three things you need to be productive: sleep, play, and then planning and guarding those things with your life.

What constitutes play? We may hear the word play and think, oh that sounds frustrating. Perhaps we’re thinking of  childhood games that everyone but you loved. Tag, anyone?

Play can be anything that you enjoy doing!

As Becky says, if you like cooking, then that is playing. If your favorite thing to do is run then that is play for you!

If you find joy in it, it’s play.

They talk about strategies to find your joy when you need a lift. Diana suggests making a playlists of songs you like to dance to and playing one of the songs to access that lift.

We need play to be more productive. Without the release of play, we cannot perform at our full potential.

We can train ourselves to look for playful moments.

Some playful things include coloring, doodling, watching funny videos, and sharing gifs with friends.

Schedule five minutes of play everyday!

How do we know how to get to the next place when we don’t know what the next place is? 

Becky Berry and Diana Bader cover this question in this episode of Uniquely Brilliant.

Diana points out one way is to focus on the short term because we must get out of crisis mode and make a plan for the near future. 

Becky reminds us that we have to remember things are different and we must just get through things now, while Diana reminds us to let go of how things were before the pandemic. 

By letting go of the past we are able to move forwards, which leads to growth. Going backwards keeps us stuck and improves nothing. 

Fear and panic will not help us to move forward either.

Becky admits that going with the flow is not her natural mode, but she tells a story about her 85 year old mom going with the flow when the eye doctor told her she couldn't drive anymore. 

If you allow change to become an adventure and look at the opportunities presented in the moment, you can do things differently. 

Diana hints at a secret project she is involved in all because she was open to change and new opportunities.

You can’t go with the flow if you are weighed down by the past; And, if you fight the flow you’ll eventually be beaten down until you go with the flow or end up stuck where you are.

Diana shares this analogy: When you are on the water, you aren’t in charge of the water, so you just have to go with it.

Expressing agency (Becky’s favorite word) in these situations occurs when you know you are in charge of your actions and you go with the flow by thinking through things (instead of reacting) and trusting yourself and your experience.

In this episode, Becky and Diana discuss what it's like to be living in today’s world, including questions like: How do we deal with the new reality of not knowing if you should hug people or fist bump?

Diana Bader talks about how everything is just a little disjointed. 

They discuss the importance of knowing how to ground yourself. Diana shares this sensory exercise for grounding: Identify five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can smell, two things you can touch, and one thing you can taste. Becky tries it on for size.

This exercise helps to bring you back to your senses. Plus breathing - always remember to breathe. 

Becky Berry mentions walking in the grass with bare feet to ground herself. 

They share their experiences around mental grounding and meditation. They observe that not everyone can visualize, so it's a great idea to use guided meditations or other meditations that work better for you.  

Shamanic Drumming and Humming on YouTube:  https://youtu.be/ivCOrc1HWxI

Today’s Tidbit

Find what soothes you when you’re feeling disjointed and out of sorts. It could be a bath, glass of wine, or meditative chants.

Diana Bader and Becky Berry talk about a favorite topic: adventure!

Diana refers to everything as an adventure. As a matter of fact, originally, each episode of Uniquely Brilliant was called “The Adventure of ....”. 

As Diana says, “Life is an adventure because you never know what is coming.” She talks about her experience moving back up north to Ohio from Atlanta. She felt the full force of the good and the bad and how it’s critical to not set expectations.

Becky talks about her experience with her coworking space and the trials of letting it evolve in a pandemic. 

Diana shares the losses she has experienced in her life and the reason she continues to see possibilities everywhere.

They identify the 3 things that help turn things from ordeals to adventures: Curiosity, Wonder, and Risk Tolerance. 

Diana reminds us to live in the moment because the only way you make memories is when you’re in the present moment! 

What is an adventure if not the ultimate good memory?

Today's Tidbits:

1. Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure. 
2. You know you are having an adventure when it’s cool and scary at the same time. 
3. We can continuously build our own adventure - see #1! 

Becky and Diana talk about all the ways people feel about talking.

Becky shares her experience in opening a second business (her coworking space for women, MAD! Workspace) and all of the feelings that go along with starting it up and keeping it going in a pandemic. 

She also talks about how she processes things through talking. She needs to hear the words coming out of her mouth to figure out what’s going on.

On the other hand, Diana is an introvert, so she doesn’t need to talk things out to process them. She likes to mull things over, then figure some of it out herself a little before she shares. And, when she does share, there are only a few people she wants to share her thoughts with - like  Becky and this entire audience. 

Diana points out that the difference between fear and excitement is breathing! Both emotions tap into the same place in the brain.

They also talk about the importance of making deep connections with people and how rare it is to make deep connections with new people. The problem in making deep connections is that it takes time. And those people are important to have around you so you don’t feel judged.

Diana talks about how she sometimes shuts down around people who are not open minded, and Becky reminds us that when we are ourselves, we find people who complement us.

They also address this question: What do you do if someone doesn't want to talk? They agree that the best way to get someone to open up with us is to create an environment of trust by being patient and asking good questions.

A key (and brave) question to ask? Why don’t you want to talk about it? 

Something to ponder: Small talk means I see you. It serves a valuable purpose in setting the table for deeper discussions and connection.

Today Diana and Becky talk about how they get to do it (everything) differently!

It’s hard to remember to rephrase the idea from “having to do it differently” to “getting to do it differently” but it makes a big difference in our mindset. “I get to do it differently” indicates agency and choice.

They talk about VISION BOARDS!

Diana shares her new workout with The Exercise Coach and how it meets her goals and desires..

They both cover how we can all do things differently, and how feedback can be important for growth.

When we do it differently, we release any need to apologize or justify our actions.

The critical takeaway is that everyone’s different is - wait for it - different! Choosing to do anything differently also means figuring out our unique differences.

When we focus on strengthening our strengths instead of our weaknesses we own the power and value of our own experiences!

Pause a minute and reflect on how today was a success!

In this episode, Diana and Becky talk about the Art of Maintaining. This is a great episode for people who are struggling lately or drowning in the shoulda, woulda, couldas. Becky and Diana bring it back to the present and ask hard questions about what is really important and how we NEED to take care of ourselves. And Becky advocates for getting rid of the words “strive” and “working hard.”

Sometimes in life we find ourselves needing to maintain rather than excel, and that's okay.

Diana talks about appreciating the moment instead of settling by pushing through it. She also discusses the system she created to help her get through her days when she needs to just maintain.

Diana also discusses how hard it was to maintain when she had a young child and how people in her life continuously pressured her to get more done.

Becky reminds us that maintaining is a big part of Essentialism because when we choose to maintain instead of striving for more, we are claiming our own priorities and owning that it’s ok to be in the moment and take care of ourselves.

When we tell ourselves we “should” be doing something, there is always someone else’s belief behind it. Instead, we must stop and ask ourselves if this belief is true right now or if it even matters to us.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you need to be doing more.

Maintaining is giving up the illusion of control.

Diana compares maintaining to being a superhero. To expand on the metaphor, when we maintain, we become like The Flash because we are slowing down everything around us and focusing solely on the important parts.

While in Maintaining mode, priorities get really small and specific. It’s like wearing blinders and earplugs - and it takes a lot of practice.

Self-care is the cornerstone of maintaining. Becky talks about the importance of having support for our self-care. We can enlist the help of family members, or friends, or acquaintances to remind us that in order to get through the current situation, we must take care of ourselves.