Uniquely Brilliant Podcast

Becky talks about the different times in her life when people have tried and succeeded in silencing her because they thought she was too much and she believed them.

Becky and Dana discuss the difference between saying that they don't care about something instead of saying it’s being important to them.

Diana shares that when she doesn’t care about something, she works on reframing it as not being a priority to her. She also shares the story of high diving while in the Bahamas.

Becky describes being told that she was too much as being “subtle and insidious.” It was never said aloud; it was implied in the way people talked to her and about her.

When people label women as “too much,” it means they’re threatened by our ideas. Becky and Diana talk about how living by different norms threatens other people's ideas of how things are supposed to be.

Diana talks about the book, Disrupt Her, by Miki Agrawal.

They both talk about how they are disruptors in life and how they can both fall into  playing it small.

When we finally accept who we are in life, it doesn’t matter what other people think. It also allows us to embrace being bigger and bolder.

It’s important to surround yourself with people who accept your muchness because it allows you to be yourself.

Finally, they talk about the freedom inherent in their bigness and how it enables them to fail fast, learn, and move forward.

©Cronecast Podcast Network · Music ©2015 Max Brodie

Becky Berry and Diana Bader discuss the importance of bringing our whole selves to everything. They also dig into what happens when people only want to interact with a piece of us.

Some notes:

Our whole self is more than our individual pieces!

We all wear different hats in our lives, but that doesn’t mean that's all we bring to the table.

Diana talks about how someone recently wanted to experience only one piece of her in their relationship and they were unwilling to accept all of her.

Since both Becky and Diana have chosen lifestyle professions, they have intentionally engineered their work so they bring their whole selves to their endeavors instead of compartmentalized pieces.

They chat about this idea in the context of jobs that want us for only one skill instead of every single thing we bring to the table.

Becky shares the story of how one of her best friends, Carolyn, became her best friend after she stopped seeing just one piece of her and opened up to seeing her more fully.

Diana admits that she likes to know people more fully because of her curiosity. She feels judged when people only want to know her in pieces.

They point out that it’s a missed opportunity when you’re only seeing one piece of a person.

To stop seeing people in pieces, we first need to recognize their essence and open ourselves to seeing them in their totality.

As Diana says, “Seeing the bonuses in life is just one moment of curiosity away!”

Many of us act differently depending on the context we find ourselves in. Wholeness happens when we can be the same, no matter the context.

Becky reveals her realization that she tends to judge her life harshly in pieces, instead of looking at the full picture.

Diana knows that she is much more willing to see other people as whole than she is to see herself that way.

Which leads to this caveat: We must treat ourselves the way we treat other people!

Becky Berry and Diana Bader talk about the critical importance of honoring our energy.

Diana discusses the many issues she's had to deal with over the last year and how her expectations weren't met when she moved back to her hometown. All of these things have affected the energy level she can bring to her life.

Becky and Diana are trying to figure out if they are tired because of the seasons changing or if they are just tired.

Diana is mulling over whether her issues are physical or caused my emotional stress. She goes into detail about her timeline of events that led her to moving and the intricacies of being emotionally done with everything. She speaks of having to finally “put down her sword.”

Diana shares how humor is one of the ways she gets replenished and they both relive a story and memory where they used humor to diffuse a rough situation.

As Becky puts it, they have both become adept at grabbing the things that restore their energy.

Diana talks about how she is focusing on building her community. She reminds us that laughter is great but it’s not as effective if you’re laughing alone.

In short, we can only honor our energy when we’re also honoring our values and enforcing our boundaries.

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©2021 Cronecast Podcast Network | Music ©2015 Max Brodie

Recorded in May 2020. This was our final Pandemic episode.

Becky and Diana are so tired of being responsible and having to overthink about everything!

They chat about what we can do to lower our tension levels and bring as much ease as possible back into our lives.

Becky talks about the coworking space she owns and how she is tired of having to remember the safety rules for everything. And, since it’s Becky, how she finds refuge and relief in reading.

Diana discusses the intricacies of going out to eat during the pandemic.

As Diana said, “At the end of the day, the only person I can be responsible for me is me. And how I act and how I react to what’s out there.”

Right now, the only thing we can really do is do our best and have faith that doing our best is good enough.

They also cover meditation and prayer.Our bodies can tell us both how and what we’re feeling. Meditation helps with dealing with responsibility by allowing you to create more ease in your life by helping you figure out what’s your responsibility and what’s the weight from everything going on around you!

©2021 Uniquely Brilliant | Music ©2015 Max Brodie

How do you make plans when no one knows?

• We recorded this in May. It’s interesting/sad how the things we talked about still apply in February.
• Diana says she has had a hard time lately because she had planned on a lot of travel and connecting during this time in her life. She has been forced to reimagine her life and has received a lot of pushback from her own bad self, causing a massive internal struggle. 
• Becky discusses how incredibly difficult it is to plan anything at all. 
• The realization for all of us that this new way of living isn’t temporary is discussed. Becky and Diana talk about the uncertainty of the future makes everything harder. And the talk about why it’s necessary to trust our guts.
• Becky speaks on the idea of creating a container around a decision that determines when you’ll revisit it.
• Here’s how it works: make the best decision you can with the information you have at hand, and then come back to it in a fixed number of weeks. In between the time you make the decision and the time you’ve set to revisit it, you avoid second guessing it and worrying about it.
• When you create the container, it helps you avoid decision fatigue.
• Going with the flow requires constant reassessment. 
• Diana contemplates getting a dog.
• The hardships around wearing masks is discussed as well as the real reason we wear them: to protect those around us. 
• Becky describes her COVID safe back hug! Definitely try this at home!

© 2021 Uniquely Brilliant | Music © 2015 Max Brodie

• Becky Berry and Diana Bader talk about how prolonged isolation doesn’t work for anyone.
• Diana begins this episode by talking about Harry Harlow’s experiments with monkeys that proved everyone needs comfort, and without human contact, we fail to thrive. 
• They also discuss the problem with texting: it’s just not the same as talking voice to voice.
• Becky shares her strange birthday in the 8th week of quarantine, and talks about how she missed the human connection. 
• Becky also confesses to being a good energy vampire (she magnifies the energy instead of taking it) because she needs people around her so she can recharge and connect.
• Diana admits that, even as an introvert, she is also sick of being isolated. Together they discuss the need for hugs and real face-to-face time.
• Becky has a hard time recharging without people while Diana becomes overcharged and very talkative when she finally does see people. There’s no balance - and no way to achieve it!
• They both notice how it’s hard to feel like yourself when you are alone all of the time, and feel that interactions with people can become awkward. 
• We all react differently to being alone all the time, but whether you get your people energy from Zoom meetings or texting, that soul connection that happens in face-to-face interactions is missing. Zoom does help a little because we can at least see people’s faces and hear their voices. 
• Funerals and weddings have also become difficult because we can neither console or celebrate face-to-face. 
• Becky and Diana also discuss what happens to the people who are thriving under these new conditions, like working from home, wondering how they’ll adapt when (or if) they return to the office. 
• They both wonder what the future will hold. And what will the future hold? Will there be fear concerning reconnecting with each other? When we are able to see each other again on a regular basis, what will that look and feel like?
• Spoiler Alert: Nobody knows.
• Recorded 5/5/2020

• Nature, mindset, kids. It’s all covered in this episode.
• Choosing to make it work is a daily choice. We can choose to make it work five or six times a day.
• Even with friends, making it work is different now. By using FaceTime and Zoom for face-to-face calls, we can make it work.
• magazine did an article about why Zoom calls are stressful. It’s because these meetings are not really face-to-face. They’re pseudo presence as opposed to real presence. We’re not sharing space – and it’s getting to Diana.
• On the other hand, COVID has given us the brain space to notice nature more. And those moments give us joy.
• Leaning in to the necessity of slowing down helps us make it work. Fighting yourself doesn’t help.
• To make it work, we have to rest. We’re constantly accommodating new things, and our brains are muscles. They need a break!
• Making it work can mean being creative by making do with what you have at home.
• Deciding when to do something on our to-do lists helps get it done! When we add it to our calendars, we’re more likely to do it. #gretchenrubin
• Becky’s favorite strategy is to write out the best and worst versions of life during quarantine. Completing this exercise creates a container for our anxiety and worries.
• Making it work is all about grabbing onto the opportunities that appear in front of us - or, as Becky says, business as usual.
• When we decide, we start to move forward.
• When we decide to do something our brains help us find ways to get it done.
• So whether we think we can or we can't do something, we're right! SMH (smack my head)

“Let your heart be your guide on all things, but you have to listen closely because it speaks softly.” ~ John St. Augustine

• Recorded April 22, 2020
• Everything is NOT business as usual.
• All of the inconsistencies are frustrating.
• The uncertainty gives us an opportunity to rely on our wisdom.
• Experience breeds confidence.
• Allow others to find their own wisdom.
• Creativity and wisdom work hand in hand.
• When the environment around you doesn’t change, look for other cues as to how to respond.
• The most important thing is to get through this experience whole.
• Allow for the possibility of a do-over.
• We have the right to rely on OUR wisdom above all else.

Not everything will go as you expect in life. That is why you need to drop the expectations and go with the flow of life. ~ Leon Brown

• Recorded April 14, 2020.
• What is the least thing we can do to make it better?
• Follow mother nature for cues on how to move forward.
• Surrender control in situations we can’t control.
• Surf the uncertainty of the situation instead of fighting it.
• We can only control our responses.
• Honor what we have instead of focusing on what we don’t.
• The slower pace gives us the opportunity to notice more of what is around us.
• Our constraints are only as small as our imaginations.
• The little things are the big things.
• As we go with the flow instead of fighting it, we get to pick and choose our way forward.

“Faith is not about everything being okay. Faith is about being okay no matter how things turn out.”  ~ Unknown

• Recorded April 7, 2020
• Be a phoenix not an ostrich.
• There is always another side to a crisis.
• This is real life right now. Embrace the imperfection.
• We are grieving. It cannot be business or life as usual.
• False positive encouragement just makes us feel worse.
• We are getting reacquainted with ourselves.
• There is a major shift in reprioritizing what is truly important to us.
• Give yourself permission to feel all of it.
• Figure out what helps you get through the day. Do that.
• Some days are just going to be better than others, and that is okay.