Curious Minds at Work

I’ve spent a lot of time talking to guests about our relationships at work. For example, we’ve discussed how to listen better, how to navigate conflict, and how to influence others, just to name a few. What I’ve spent less time talking about are the relationships that go beyond work. That’s why I invited Kat Vellos on the show this week to talk about her amazing book, We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships. Kat’s book is more than a callout to the power of friendship. It’s a roadmap for making new friends, and, equally valuable, it’s an owner’s manual for deepening existing friendships. It's an episode that really resonated with listeners. With the holidays approaching - and opportunities for more time with friends and family - I wanted to rebroadcast it for you. Enjoy! Episode Links How Many Hours Does It Take to Make a Friend by Jeffrey A. Hall Better Than Small Talk The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker Donald Horton and Richard Wohl and Para-Social Communication Loneliness and Social Connections Choke by Sian Beilock Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall Rosenberg Kat Vellos TED Talk Happy City by Charles Montgomery Having and Being Had by Eula Biss The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

In the U.S., we have laws and policies in place to prevent discrimination of Black workers. In addition, we have leaders who make public pledges in support of diversity goals. Yet the data continue to show that Black employees are less likely to be hired, more likely to stall out in mid-level positions, and stand little chance of gaining senior level positions. Why is that? Adia Harvey Winfield’s work lies at the intersection of labor and race, and her research reveals that, for Black workers, there are gray areas. These gray areas are the cultural, social, and relational factors that influence who gets hired, who gets promoted, and who finds it easiest to navigate the workplace. That’s what she writes about in her latest book, Gray Areas: How the Way We Work Perpetuates Racism and What We Can Do to Fix It. Adia shares powerful stories of Black workers across all kinds of professions and organizations. We’re taken into the lived experiences of individual Black employees as they navigate landmines most of us don’t even see. It’s a book that took my understanding of racism in the workplace to a whole other level. Episode Links How Gray Areas in Work Culture Drive Racial Inequality What Do a Black Scientist, Non-Profit Executive, and Filmmaker Have in Common? They All Face Racism in the 'Gray Areas' of Workplace Culture We Built a Diverse Academic Department in 5 Years. Here's How. Joan Williams on Diversity Practices that Work The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

A well-crafted story can fuel connection. It can inspire trust and entertain. Better still, it can have a ripple effect. Yet most of us avoid telling stories. Instead, we stick to the facts and emphasize the data. Now, even if we believe this is the best way to convey information, our brains, if they could talk, would disagree. That’s why, if we want to connect, persuade, or just keep our audience’s attention, we need to get better at storytelling. That’s why I wanted to speak with Karen Eber, author of the book, The Perfect Story: How to Tell Stories That Inform, Influence, and Inspire. Karen not only explains why stories matter, she also explains how to craft them. Every section of this book is filled with takeaways you can immediately put into practice. It’s a book I’ll return to again and again. Episode Links How Your Brain Responds to Stories and Why They’re Crucial for Leaders The 4-Part Structure to Telling Great Stories Vanessa Bohns on How We Influence Others The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

We’re often put on the spot to say something of value. And when it happens, it can catch us off guard. For example, you log in early to a conference call and need to make small talk with high status colleagues. Or you find out in a meeting that a co-worker is leaving the company, and you’re asked to say a few words. These kinds of spontaneous interactions happen more often than we think. But unlike formal presentations or pitches, there’s no time to practice. We wonder how to manage our anxiety and improve our performance. That’s why communications expert, Matt Abrahams, wrote the book, Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You’re Put on the Spot. He shares strategies to help us lower our stress and make what we say more concise, relevant, and memorable. Matt takes our on-the-spot communication to the next level. Episode Links How to Shine When You’re Put on the Spot How to Speak Confidently When You’re Put on the Spot The Vaster Wilds by Lauren Groff Episode 235 with Jonah Berger The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

Most of us are on a performance treadmill. We show up. We execute. Then tomorrow we do it all over again. But this relentless focus on execution leaves little time for learning. As a result, our skills stagnate, and we accomplish less. Soon we find ourselves working harder while falling further behind. Eduardo Briceno calls this The Performance Paradox: Turning the Power of Mindset into Action, a label that’s also the title of his book. In it, he shares how we can build learning into our day without sacrificing performance. It’s a way of working that ensures high execution and continuous learning. Episode Links 4 Signs of the Chronic Performance Trap and How to Break Free Your Talent Wants a Learning Culture. Here are 5 Steps to Create One Interview with Steve Magness My Name is Red by Orhan Pamuk The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

We live and work in a digital world where getting interrupted by communication tools is the norm. That means we shift our attention at least every 47 seconds. Then it takes us about 30 minutes to get back on task. At the same time, we continually interrupt ourselves – looking things up, tracking information down. While some view this as a problem to be solved, Gloria Mark sees it simply as a new reality. And she believes we’re using old language and frameworks to navigate it. Things like flow and sustained focus, when neither our brains nor our work allows for these kinds of solutions. Instead, she believes we need to lean into what our brains need, including taking social media breaks. She also believes we need to organize our day around what she calls kinetic attention. Gloria Mark’s book, Attention Span: A Groundbreaking Way to Restore Balance, Happiness and Productivity, gives the attention space a much-needed update. There are tips you’ll immediately want to put into practice. Episode Links How to Restore Our Dwindling Attention Spans A Psychology Expert Shares the 3 Things She Always Does to Boost Her Brain Energy The Island of Lost Trees by Elif Shafak Interview with Nick Carr The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

As humans, we have certain default settings that help us navigate the world. Yet those same default settings make us vulnerable to fraud and deception. For example, our ability to focus helps us concentrate on what’s right in front of us. But it also prevents us from seeing what’s missing. For example, we’re more willing to believe a presumed investment expert who touts a winning track record without thinking about the losses he never mentions. Our brains also rely on past experiences to guide our behavior. The upside is that it conserves energy and prevents us from having to relearn things like tying our shoes or driving to the store. Unfortunately, it predisposes us to act without thinking. That’s why Daniel Simons has written a book called Nobody’s Fool: Why We Get Taken in and What We Can Do about It. In it, he points out four habits that can put us at risk, and he shares ways to overcome them. He also points how others can leverage our very human tendencies to deceive us. Talking to Dan helped me see another side to some of my default settings and how I can stay vigilant, so I don’t get fooled. Episode Links Failures of Awareness: The Case of Inattentional Blindness Failure to Detect Changes to People During Real-World Interaction The Last Improv Show Interview with Woo-Kyoung Ahn The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

We’re often told that saying yes to everything will be the key to our success. It’ll strengthen our relationships, enhance our reputation, and help us achieve our goals. But what if the reverse were true? What if learning how to say no is the game changer? What if mastering this skill is the way to achieve our goals? Vanessa Patrick has written a book on the subject titled, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No That Puts You in Charge of Your Life. There are so many factors that influence whether we achieve our goals, things like focus, persistence, and resilience. After reading Vanessa’s book, I’d add knowing how and when to say no. Episode Links Getting to Gutsy: Using Personal Policies to Enhance (and Reclaim) Agency in the Workplace How to Say “No”: Conviction and Identity Attributions in Persuasive Refusal Juggling Work and Home Selves: Low Identity Integration Feels Less Authentic and Increases Unethicality The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

Aiming for perfection seems like a noble goal. It’s like we’re holding ourselves to a higher standard or standing out from the crowd. But striving for perfection means working toward the impossible. And the cost to our mental and physical health can be enormous. London School of Economics Professor, Thomas Curran, experienced the impact of perfectionism firsthand. As a recovering perfectionist, he’s made the field the focus of his research. Curran’s research led to his book, The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough. In it, he explains the psychology behind it, calls out cultural messages that reinforce it, and shares steps we can take to overcome it. Episode Links Perfectionists Need to Embrace Failure The Rise of Perfectionism – and the Harm It’s Doing Us All Understanding Perfectionism and Impostor Syndrome with Dr. Thomas Curran Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

For many, work is the centerpiece of our lives. It’s not only a source of status and fulfillment, but also central to our identity. But what do we miss out on when hold these expectations of our work? What does it cost us? That’s the question Simone Stolzoff asks in his book, The Good Enough Job: Reclaiming Life from Work. In answering this question, he explains the drivers that got us here, the reasons society and culture reinforce them, and what life might look like if we reframed the role of work in our lives. He challenges us to recognize who benefits by us making work the whole of our lives. Episode Links Losing Your Job Doesn’t Mean Losing Your Identity Please Don’t Call My Job a Calling Stop Looking for the Perfect Job Lady Tan’s Circle of Women by Lisa See The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.