Curious Minds at Work

I’ve spent a lot of time talking to guests about our relationships at work. For example, we’ve discussed how to listen better, how to navigate conflict, and how to influence others, just to name a few. What I’ve spent less time talking about are the relationships that go beyond work. That’s why I invited Kat Vellos on the show this week to talk about her amazing book, We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships. Kat’s book is more than a callout to the power of friendship. It’s a roadmap for making new friends, and, equally valuable, it’s an owner’s manual for deepening existing friendships. Episode Links How Many Hours Does It Take to Make a Friend by Jeffrey A. Hall Better Than Small Talk The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker Donald Horton and Richard Wohl and Para-Social Communication Loneliness and Social Connections Choke by Sian Beilock Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall Rosenberg Kat Vellos TED Talk Happy City by Charles Montgomery Having and Being Had by Eula Biss The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

One of the messages our culture delivers is “not enough.” Not clever enough. Not busy enough. Not successful enough. It’s a cultural mantra that beats just below the surface of many conversations, especially the ones we have with ourselves. That’s what’s so refreshing about Vanessa Bohns’ book, You Have More Influence Than You Think: How We Underestimate our Power of Persuasion and Why It Matters. Vanessa’s message, when it comes to influence and persuasion, is that we’re more than enough. That’s why it’s so important we understand how they work because, like our favorite superheroes, we can use these powers for good or for evil. Vanessa is a professor of organizational behavior at Cornell University. Her writing has appeared in the New York Times and Harvard Business Review, among other publications. Episode Links Erica Boothby and The Invisibility Cloak Illusion Thomas Gilovich and The Spotlight Effect Shared Experiences are Amplified Audience-tuning Effects on Memory Saying is Believing Effect Social Media and the Invisible Audience The Benefits of Asking for Help Frank Flynn A Face-to-Face Request is 34 Times More Successful Than An Email Marianne LaFrance Mary Carskadon and Brown University Sleep Lab Prison Book Program Adam Galinsky and Power Perspectives Not Taken The Burden of Power: Construing Power as Responsibility Chatter by Ethan Kross Mindwise by Nicholas Epley Kurt Lewin To Reduce Sexual Misconduct, Help People Understand How Their Advances Might Be Perceived The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

I have a confession to make. I enjoy talking to people I don't know. I like learning about them and hearing their stories. I'm sure it explains why I started this podcast nearly six years ago. Yet I know a lot of people who avoid talking to strangers. And if, for any reason, they have to, they dread it. But these feelings of dread work against us. Study after study shows that when we talk to strangers, we nearly always feel good afterwards. And in a time where people feel more isolated and lonely than ever, the good feeling that comes from talking to strangers may be just the thing we need to bring us closer together. That's why I reached out to Joe Keohane to talk to him about his incredibly entertaining and enlightening book, The Power of Strangers: The Benefits of Connecting in a Suspicious World. He explains how we got to be so suspicious of strangers and what it's cost us. And for anyone who avoids talking to strangers because they don't know what to say, he's got you covered. Joe shares things he's learned from workshops he attended while writing the book. Episode Links Georgie Nightingall and Trigger Conversations Gillian Sandstrom Nicholas Epley Juliana Schroeder The Lesser Minds Problem Michael Tomasello Douglas Fry Stranger Danger Stanley Milgram and Stanford Prison Experiment led by Philip Zimbardo Oscar Ibarra Theodore Zeldin and The Feast of Strangers Braver Angels The Ezra Klein Show The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

Numbers have power. They convey certainty. For example, when we know whether cases of Covid-19 are rising or falling, we feel like we have more control. Like we’ve got the answer. Yet numbers can be slippery too. Sure. Counting the number of people in a sports stadium is objective. But what about race totals in the U.S. Census? The same goes for the number of people who fall below the poverty line or the number of people the Jobs Report counts as unemployed. While those numbers might seem certain, a closer look offers a very different story. We need to ask ourselves: Who decides what’s important enough to count? Who creates the categories we use? And how do the questions we ask – and the ways we ask them – bias the answers? When we ask these kinds of question, we start to realize that the numbers aren’t that objective after all. Instead, we need to investigate each one to understand what’s behind it. That’s why I wanted to speak with Deborah Stone. She’s written an incredibly insightful book to help us do this, and it’s called, Counting: How We Use Numbers to Decide What Matters. As she so expertly explains, with so much riding on the data we gather, we owe it to ourselves to think more deeply about what gets counted and why, as well as how we decide to count it. Deborah has taught at Brandeis, MIT, and universities around the world, and her previous book, Policy Paradox, has been a seminal work in the policy field for over three decades. Episode Links Conversation: How Talk Can Change Our Lives by Theodore Zeldin Policy Paradox by Deborah Stone Federalist Paper 54 Three-fifths Compromise Ronald Melzack and gate control theory alternative to pain scale Mollie Orshansky The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

So often, when we try to solve a problem, we focus on what we can add. Let’s say you're moving to a smaller space. Your first thought might be to research shelving or rent a storage unit. But what if, instead, you subtracted? What if you thought about what you’d sell, donate, or just throw out? That’s the question Leidy Klotz answers in his book, Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less. It’s a topic he was inspired to pursue while building a bridge of Legos with his son. Faced with a design challenge, Leidy chose to add Legos, while his son subtracted. That simple action – a highly counterintuitive one – set Leidy on the path to writing this book. It’s since become a lesson he’s working to apply to all kinds of problems, like climate change and sustainability. An Associate Professor of Engineering at the University of Virginia, Leidy studies the overlap between engineering and behavioral science, all in service of more sustainable systems. He’s worked with the Departments of Energy, Homeland Security, the National Institutes of Health, the World Bank, and ideas42. Episode Links The City We Became by N. K. Jemisin Subtract: Why Getting to Less Can Mean Thinking More Why Do Engineers and Behavioral Scientists Have to Learn from Each Other? Using Behavioral Science to Redesign the Built Environment Strider Bike Hazel Rose Marcus Michele Gelfand Pocket Park The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

I'll admit it. I'm a sucker for brain science. I love learning new things about how our brains work and how to get the most out of this amazing organ. That means I'm always scanning for my next book on the topic. And, when I find it, I'm usually placing an order before I've made it through the table of contents. With this week's guest, I barely glanced at her book's title before I clicked "buy." That's because the author is the incredible neuroscientist, Lisa Feldman Barrett. Last time she was on the show, we talked about her mind-blowing book, How Emotions are Made. I learned how her research has led to a complete rethinking of, well, how emotions are made. In this conversation, we talk about her newest book, Seven and a Half Lessons about the Brain. At first glance, you might think, what does this have to do with my work? The short answer is . . . everything. What you'll learn about your brain will change how you structure your day and, on an even bigger scale, how you interact with other people. This is a book to savor. It's enlightening. Insightful. And it's downright enjoyable. In fact, you may want to read it in bite-size chunks, like one chapter at a time, because it's a book you may not want to finish too quickly. It's just too good. Lisa Feldman Barrett is an award-winning Professor of Neuroscience at Northeastern University. She has appointments at Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital. I'm thrilled to have her back on the show. One quick ask before the interview - if you enjoy the podcast, I'd be grateful if you'd take a moment to rate and review the show on iTunes or wherever you subscribe. The team works hard to produce the podcast - and to keep it commercial free -- and it means a lot for us to know that you enjoy it. Speaking of brain science - a positive rating or review gives us the dopamine hits we need to keep on going. This is a re-broadcast of Episode 182 with Lisa Feldman Barrett. Episode Links Lisa Feldman Barrett's Extended Notes for Seven and a Half Lessons about the Brain The Accidental Species by Henry Gee The Rationality of Decisions Depends on Behavioural Context Tuning and Pruning Cultural Inheritance Reverse inference problem The Remembered Presence by Gerald Edelman Himba people Hadza people Why We Want to Squeeze Cute, Little Things Wired to Wonder by Todd Kashdan Gray Malin Curious Minds at Work Team Learn more about creator and host, Gayle Allen, and producer and editor, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support Curious Minds at Work If you're a fan of the show, show your support by: Rating and reviewing the podcast on iTunes or wherever you subscribe Telling someone about the show Subscribing so you never miss an episode Where to Find Curious Minds at Work Spotify iTunes Tunein Stitcher Google podcasts Overcast

When you think about courage at work, what comes to mind? Most of us think of the whistleblowers, the people who speak out on illegal corporate practices. Yet many who succeed in changing the workplace, do so on a smaller scale. They push back on sexist comments. Point out bias in hiring. Or challenge unequal promotion practices. Each is an example of courage at work, and it’s a form of courage most of us say we want to see. But research shows many of us don't exercise this kind of courage, even though staying silent is something we regret. So how can we overcome our fears and do what’s needed to create workplaces aligned with our values? Jim Detert tells us how. He’s a Professor of Business Administration at the University of Virginia’s Darden School of Business. After years of studying workplace courage, he knows the steps we can take to do so without jeopardizing our jobs. And he shares these steps in this interview and in his book, Choosing Courage: The Everyday Guide to Being Brave at Work. Episode Links Winfred Rembert Stuart Scott Climbing the Courage Ladder The Importance of Courage Cultivating Everyday Courage The Temporal Pattern to the Experience of Regret Sir Walter Scott The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

Think of your family, your friends, and your colleagues. In each of these relationships, you can expect to experience conflict from time to time. Sometimes, it's unhealthy conflict that harms our relationships. Other times, it's healthy conflict that strengthens them. High conflict is something different. It happens when we view the conflict as good versus evil. It's when the walls go up. When it's about us versus them. Right versus wrong. We double down on our assumptions, maybe about people we don't even know. Ultimately, we get stuck. It's a volatile place, and a dangerous one, because it's often just a step away from dehumanization. My guest, Amanda Ripley, spent four years studying this conflict. She's an investigative journalist and author of the book, High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out. Amanda interviewed ordinary people who got caught up in high conflict, and, with effort and commitment, managed to break free. Through their stories, she explains what conflict is, how we get sucked into it, and, most importantly, how we move through it. Amanda is author of the books, The Smartest Kids in the World and Unthinkable. She writes regularly for The Atlantic and spent a decade writing for Time Magazine. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and The Guardian. Episode Links Piranesi by Susanna Clarke Mark Lynas Gary Friedman More in Common Baha i Faith Losing Common Ground: Social Sorting and Polarization Kim Binsted Curtis Toler and Team CRED John and Julie Gottman The Difficult Conversations Lab and Peter Coleman Ranked-choice Voting 22 Questions that 'Complicate the Narrative' The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

I've got a riddle for you. What do we need to get better at our jobs? To maintain relationships with family and friends? To find our keys? The answer is memory. Yet when it comes to what it is and how to get the most out of it, we may not know as much as we'd like. And that's too bad, because knowing even a little about how our memory works can give us a lot, including peace of mind. That's what made me pick up Lisa Genova's latest book, Remember: The Science of Memory and the Art of Forgetting. Lisa's a Ph.D. neuroscientist and bestselling author of the book, Still Alice, which was adapted into an Oscar-winning film. Remember is an incredible resource that combines the science of memory with the compelling storytelling she's known for. Episode Links Money: The True Story of a Made-Up Thing by Jacob Goldstein Still Alice by Lisa Genova Automaticity Semantic memory Episodic memory Prospective memory A Powerful Way to Improve Memory and Learning The Science of Learning to Learn and Self-Testing Moonwalking with Einstein by Joshua Foer Method of Loci or Memory Palace Phantom Flashbulbs: False Recollections of Hearing the News about Challenger The Neuroscience of Memory: Implications for the Courtroom Elizabeth Loftus Forgetting is Part of Remembering He Ate All the Pi: Japanese Man Memorizes Pi to 111,700 Digits Learning and Memory Under Stress The Impact of Sleep on Learning and Memory and About Sleep's Role in Memory The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. How to Support the Podcast If you'd like to support the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Ways to Subscribe Click here and scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.

Change happens through action. For example, if we want to solve the hunger problem in our local community, we donate to a food drive. We volunteer at a food bank. We do things that solve the problem. But often the hurdle to taking action is knowing what action to take. Research shows that bystanders are often unsure of what to do. And when they don't know what to do, they tend to do nothing. That's why I wanted to talk to David Smith and Brad Johnson about their book, Good Guys: How Men Can Be Better Allies for Women in the Workplace. Brad and David share specific steps individuals and organizations can take to support women in the workplace. It's a male ally playbook. And a playbook is desperately needed. One of the biggest workplace challenges today is how few women, particularly women of color, hold leadership roles. Though women make up nearly 50 percent of the workforce, in 2020, they held only 38 percent of managerial positions, 33 percent of senior manager/director roles and 21 percent of C-suite titles. David is a professor of sociology in the College of Leadership and Ethics at the U.S. Naval War College. Brad is a professor of psychology in the Department of Leadership, Ethics, and Law at the U.S. Naval Academy and a faculty associate in the Graduate School of Education at Johns Hopkins University. Episode Links Minor Feelings by Cathy Park Hong Structured exposure 30-5-1 The invisible knapsack Impostor Syndrome Let's Talk by Therese Huston Athena Rising by W. Brad Johnson and David G. Smith Bystander effect The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. How to Support the Podcast If you'd like to support the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Ways to Subscribe Click here and scroll down for a sample of sites where you can subscribe.