Beautiful Baggage

If you're anything like me — someone with an all-too-human brain — you are intimately familiar with the feeling of stuck-ness. Inertia. Stagnation. Paralysis. Whatever you want to call it, it's the feeling that, though you want to move in some direction or other, you've fallen into the proverbial rut and can't get out. In this episode, I share with you a tool that can help you better understand what's going on when you're feeling that way. I call it "unpacking you mind".  

If you feel like you lost steam in 2020, or stalled out altogether, know that you are in very good company. It was an extraordinarily unusual year, and the stresses of the global pandemic touched all of us in ways large and small. As we look ahead to 2021, let's first remember to be compassionate towards ourselves. We continue to navigate choppy waters. But — and this is important — let's still set big goals and for 2021 and beyond. Working toward a goal forces us to grow. And by growing, we gain the momentum we need to live boldly and authentically. Our feelings = Our powerJust as in years past, we'll hit obstacles in pursuit of our dreams. But — and here's the really good news! — with some awareness about how our feelings fuel our actions (or inactions), we will be better equipped to keep moving toward the life we want with grit, inspiration, and confidence. Ask me about my coaching programs!Along with being a veteran journalist and seasoned traveler, I am also a certified life coach, specializing in “helping quiet people live loud lives” by cultivating an adventurous mindset! If you’re interested in booking a free mini coaching session with me, please email me at [email protected].

This episode was inspired by T.S. Eliot's famous poem 'The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock'. When I first read it, I was an outwardly-quiet teenager who longed to break free from the shackles of extreme shyness. The poem was a revelation, on many levels. For one, it helped me see that I wasn't the only anxiously self-conscious person ever to walk the earth (though J. Alfred Prufrock is a fictional character, it was clear to me that T.S Eliot knew what it felt like to feel stifled by timidity and social anxiety). More importantly, it awakened me to the fascinating world of cognitive distortion. What is Cognitive Distortion? Cognitive distortions are thought errors. Thinking that feels true but is actually a skewed interpretation of reality. The thoughts are often fear-based and, when they become habitual, can cause anxiety, depression, and a host of other negative feeling states. To learn more about how deceptively off-base our thinking can be, check out Psychology Today's https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201301/50-common-cognitive-distortions (list of 50 common cognitive distortions). The good news is that, the more aware of our thought patterns we become, the more likely we are to question their basis in reality. Further reading Though written more than a century ago, 'The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock' remains a popular subject of scholarly analysis and debate. A quick Google search will lead you to numerous articles and summaries like https://www.bl.uk/20th-century-literature/articles/a-close-reading-of-the-love-song-of-j-alfred-prufrock (this) and https://poemanalysis.com/t-s-eliot/the-love-song-of-j-alfred-prufrock/ (this). Apple's "Antennagate" In this episode, you heard me describe my short and, in the grand scheme of things, not particularly significant interaction with Apple co-founder Steve Jobs when I covered the incident known as "Antennagate". More background about the tech problems with the iPhone 4 https://www.cultofmac.com/492086/today-apple-history-antennagate-consumer-reports/ (here).

One of the most fascinating things about us quiet people? We've usually got a lot going on underneath our demure facade. Others may not see it right away. Some may never see it. No worries. Trust that your hidden treasures — your talents, interests, life experiences, etc. — are there to serve the right people, at the right time. And know that, in the meantime, those hidden treasures are always enriching you. Keep cultivating them. They are your superpower. Further explorationIn this episode, I describe the amazing underground wonderland of the Wieliczka Salt Mine, located just outside Krakow, Poland. I highly recommend a visit, either in person or virtually. Here are a few links to get your started: Official Wieliczka Salt Mine https://www.wieliczka-saltmine.com/ (website) A short https://classroom.ricksteves.com/videos/weiliczka-salt-mine-in-poland (video introduction) to the salt mines, from Rick Steves And, shifting back from the metaphorical to the practical, a book recommendation: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1510721029/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&fpl=fresh&pd_rd_i=1510721029&pd_rd_r=87AZSGWVDGG5ZPA7VE91&pd_rd_w=xxPd6&pd_rd_wg=XpXB7&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=&pf_rd_r=10MNS7NM2MN2DYZR3XZ1&pf_rd_t=36701&pf_rd_p=781f4767-b4d4-466b-8c26-2639359664eb&pf_rd_i=desktop&linkCode=sl1&tag=intdea0a-20&linkId=3340b6963116642a3ddbdd414451db43 (The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside our Hidden World ) by Jenn Granneman. Granneman is the founder of https://introvertdear.com/ (Introvert, Dear, )a wonderful publishing platform for quiet people and those who love them. Check it out!  

Who says you have to be a talkative extrovert to live a bold and powerful life? Today we're talking about the softer side of power. Further explorationOne of my life's biggest "aha" moments? Reading "Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking". Read more about the book and the author, Susan Cain at http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com (www.thepowerofintroverts.com.) For a quick introduction to the idea of "soft power", watch Susan Cain's TED Talk https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts?language=en (here).  

Decisions, decisions. . . It's exciting to have choices as we work to break out of our shells. But sometimes too many choices can slow us down, or keep us stuck altogether. Today we're talking about the value of narrowing our choices. Ironically, this practice offers us a way of making sure we don't miss out! Further readingClickhttps://hbr.org/2019/11/why-constraints-are-good-for-innovation ( here) for a fascinating (albeit pretty wonky) read about why constraint is good for innovation. More https://tinybuddha.com/blog/why-too-much-choice-is-stressful-and-7-simple-ways-to-limit-it/ (here) on why too much choice can be stressful. Did you know there's such a thing as "decision fatigue"? https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-prevent-decision-fatigue-3956973 (Here) is a brief article explaining this fascinating concept.  

You know the expression, "Feel the fear and do it anyway"? Hmm. Easier said than done, right? Especially if your goal or dream — whether it's to travel solo around the world or embark on an exciting new career — often requires you to frequently and consistently take actions that are currently far outside your comfort zone. One way to make the discomfort more manageable is to think about that scary thing you know you must do the way an athlete would a tough workout — something that's uncomfortable in the moment but ultimately makes your stronger and more likely to succeed. In this episode, I talk about how I manage my anxieties around public speaking. Take a listen, and let me know how you're building your bravery muscles! Further resourcesSince we're on the topic of of public speaking, please know that if you shudder at the thought of speaking before a group of people , you are in very good company. Here are a few articles addressing the topic from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/smashing-the-brainblocks/201711/how-conquer-the-fear-public-speaking (The Mayo Clinic) https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/smashing-the-brainblocks/201711/how-conquer-the-fear-public-speaking (Psychology Today) https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/02/tips-speaking (The American Psychological Assoication) Whether it's public speaking that has you feeling paralyzed or something else, it's important to understand that managing your mind can help you manage the fear. https://medium.com/be-a-brilliant-writer/its-time-to-stop-holding-yourself-back-from-all-you-ever-wanted-feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway-by-4bc919a76fe8 (Here) is an excellent summary of the classic book by Dr. Susan Jeffers, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway. Take a look at some of the exercises, designed to help you adopt a fear-busting mindset. Work with meAs a certified life coach who works with people who identify as '"quiet," "introverted" or "shy," I love helping my clients identify their limiting beliefs and overhaul their mindset. To learn more and/or book a free 20-minute coaching mini-session, please email me at stephanie2yourbeautifulbaggage.com.

Beautiful Baggage is one year old!  As we head into the next 12 months, we'll be rerouting a bit. Focusing less on travel (because, let's face it, it's not the easiest thing to do now) and more on cultivating an adventurous mindset. And ... More specifically, I'm hoping to help those of you who identify as shy, introverted, quiet —whatever you want to call it — lead loud lives in your own unique way! Take a listen to my thoughts on where the podcast is going, and let me know what you think!

Which is more gratifying: collecting things, or collecting experiences? Maybe there's a middle way. Join me for this reflection on the benefits of travel souvenirs. There's also a mindfulness exercise at the end of this episode. Try it out, and share what good memories and feelings came up for you! Ask me about my coaching programs!Along with being a veteran journalist and seasoned traveler, I am also a certified life coach, specializing in "helping quiet people live loud lives" by cultivating an adventurous mindset! If you're interested in booking a free mini coaching session with me, please email me at [email protected].

When we are allowed to travel freely again, where will we go? What experiences will we seek out? Some thoughts on how looking to the past when we travel could both help us better understand the present moment and move forward with greater mindfulness.