That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

A replay of one of my most popular episodes, which I made in response to one of the listener questions I hear the most. Enjoy!

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In today's episode, I look at the intriguing use of virtual reality in treating hoarding disorder with our guest, Dr. Hannah Raila. Dr. Raila, a psychology researcher at UC Santa Cruz, shares her insights on how virtual reality can help individuals desensitise to distress and practice discarding virtual possessions. She discusses the immersive nature of the VR experience, the potential for the technology to attract more male research participants, and so much more. Join us as we explore the innovative possibilities of virtual reality in the treatment of hoarding disorder.

• Novel treatment for hoarding using virtual reality
• VR sessions focus on virtual discarding practice
• Virtual reality to create distress for phobia treatment
• Practice desensitization to discard and declutter effectively
• Novel approach due to existing treatments not working for everyone
• Study methodology including recruiting participants with hoarding disorder for buried in treasures group and virtual reality sessions
• Creating a virtual world of participants' rooms and practicing discarding items in a psychologically immersive environment
• New treatments for hoarding needed, virtual reality tested for hoarding, based on successful use in anxiety and PTSD
• In-home visits helpful for reducing clutter but often not feasible
• In VR therapy, practice discarding virtual objects to desensitise to distress
• Virtual exposure therapy principle: Desensitise to distress by simulating real experiences
• There is a debate about hoarding disorder prevalence and gender participation in research and treatment. More women seek treatment, but the disorder may be even across genders
• The Stanford lab's community presence may influence gender participation
• Testing novel intervention with existing treatments, attracting more patients, need for RCT before nationwide administration
• Practice desensitisation by rating distress, discarding and tracking feelings to tolerate and declutter home
• Preparing new study on contamination fears for OCD at UC Santa Cruz lab
• Description of the virtual donation box, recycling, and trash bin in VR sessions
• Facilitating repeated rehearsal of discarding virtual possessions for real-life application
• Reported improvement in hoarding symptoms due to VR treatment
• Time and technology challenges in programming and designing virtual worlds for the intervention
• Practical Applications and Takeaways
• Monitoring and tracking distress levels when discarding items
• Applying desensitisation without a virtual space
• Starting with easy-to-discard items and gradually progressing to more difficult ones
• Potential of virtual reality to help people move up the ladder of difficulty in discarding
• Dr. Raila's plans to continue virtual reality work
• Conducting a study on difficulty discarding in the normative range

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In this episode, I delve into the weird world of imperfections, flaws, and uniqueness. Drawing inspiration from the Crooked Spire of Chesterfield, I share personal struggles with self-criticism and acceptance. It's a round-about look at authenticity and self-acceptance, via imperfections and community. I also share a hoarding secret from a listener and a top tip. Join me!

• Chesterfield's Crooked Spire
• Folklore and reality behind the Crooked Spire's twist
• We often judge ourselves harshly
• Old churches, old books, imperfections, universal struggles
• Authenticity and honesty in safe spaces
• Embracing self-acceptance and confidence
• Challenging societal expectations leads to self-acceptance
• Embracing imperfection, finding strength in community
• Folklore and history intertwine at Chesterfield's Crooked Spire church
• We tend to see flaws in ourselves, not in loved ones
• Impact on self-esteem varies with mental health and stress
• Struggling with self-judgment
• Need spaces for self-expression, honesty, and mental health to avoid internal conflict and damage
• Often start with difficulty, but ultimately reach a point of empowerment
• Not conforming to societal expectations
• Changing Faces charity for people with visible differences
• Personal struggles with hoarding behaviour
• Encourages self-acceptance and appreciation
• Resilience and community embrace of imperfections
• Personal growth and acceptance related to societal norms
• Struggles with conforming to expectations
• The beauty of imperfections
• Old books with folded corners and underlined passages
• The podcast as a place of honesty and authenticity

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In today's episode, Dr Jan Eppingstall and I will be diving into a topic that is rarely discussed - homelessness and hoarding. We will explore the limited research available on the connection between these two issues and the complex factors that contribute to both. We uncover the connections between trauma, loss, and mental health issues that can lead to both homelessness and hoarding behaviours as well as the instincts associated with hoarding and the difficulties in interrupting these instincts.

• Homelessness and hoarding: connections and similarities
• Lack of hoarding-related academic articles
• Homelessness can be caused by hoarding
• Lack of support, finger pointing, no understanding
• Excessive stuff brings hope for normal future
• A sense of safety motivates us to accumulate possessions
• The physical barrier between us and the chaotic outside world is important
• Excess stuff can be seen as hope for a better future
• Society pressures us to make a perfect home
• Epigenetics, trauma, and genes influence hoarding behaviour
• Poverty pushes some to become hoarders
• Humans want to share during crises
• Neurodivergence, brain injuries, schizophrenia
• Homelessness and hoarding have similarities, including trauma, mental health issues, and fear of scarcity
• Possessions may be portable but excessive saving behaviour persists
• Homelessness caused by hoarding; trauma leads to hoarding in new home
• Need to ask "What do you need?"
• The comfort of material possessions
• Possible evidence of neurodivergence or organic brain injuries, schizophrenia, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, complex post-traumatic stress disorder
• The importance of asking the right questions and providing appropriate support
• Approach problems from various angles and keep iterating to find what works
• Short-term focus of government hinders this
• Homeless individuals trading stuff and the instinct to hoard when they find secure housing
• Difficulty in interrupting the primal hoarding instinct
• Strategies for interrupting the instinct, such as calculations and sharing with others in need
• Need for a holistic approach and joined-up thinking to address hoarding and homelessness effectively
• Lack of resources and understanding to support hoarders once they are housed
• Treating hoarders with dignity and respect
• Importance of appropriate questions and support due to the complexity of hoarding behaviours
• Lack of support and assistance in addressing the root causes of homelessness
• Sense of control and safety that possessions offer
• Importance of addressing the additional traumas faced by homeless individuals
• Study finding higher hoarding prevalence (18.5%) among homeless individuals compared to the general population (1.5-5%)
• Oversampling technique used to study rare subpopulations
• Overlapping risk factors of hoarding and homelessness (trauma, grief, brain injury, neurodivergence)
• Sense of safety and need to create a home driving the accumulation of possessions
• Scarcity mindset and stockpiling items due to homelessness
• Epigenetic processes potentially turning on genes associated with hoarding as a coping mechanism
• Poverty and uncertainty about basic necessities contributing to hoarding behaviors
• Importance of listening to frontline practitioners and individuals in order to understand their needs

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In today's episode, I dive into the topic of using AI to help us dehoard. I have some skepticism about AI and its ability to assist with decluttering. However, after exploring various AI options I share my findings and experiences with these tools. From providing tips and schedules to even taking on personas like Dolly Parton, AI can offer some assistance in the decluttering process. I also discuss the use of AI voice assistants and AI-driven coaching, discussing their potential benefits and my concerns. Join me as I explore the strengths and weaknesses of using AI as a tool in decluttering and dehoarding.

• Mixed results with AI
• AI voice assistance for dehoarding tasks.
• Privacy concerns, limited effectiveness of chatbots.
• Fact-checking is better done personally.
• AI decluttering apps listed by Bard didn't exist
• Bard provided good breakdown of timings in real-world context
• ChatGPT and Bard can expand on previous answers.
• Streamline decluttering, prioritise tasks, and explore personas with Chat GPT and Bard.
• I used an AI tool to mimic Dolly Parton's style for a video.
• AI voice assistants like Siri, Google, and Alexa can help with tasks like playing music and organizing, allowing users to have conversations and make requests
• AI chatbots cannot provide the same support as humans
• Privacy concerns and lack of trust.
• Not ruling them out completely,but cautious about therapy-oriented bots
• Asking specific questions can yield better results.
• Skepticism about using AI for dehoarding
• Not wanting to just repeat what others have said
• Description of AI bot
• Conversation with the AI bot
• Critique of the AI bot's advice
• Description of ChatGPT and Bard as AI tools
• Tips for using ChatGPT and Bard effectively
• Comparison of their capabilities with decluttering
• Limitations and challenges with specificity and relevance to hoarding
• Benefits of using voice assistants for organizing and task management
• Examples of tasks voice assistants can help with
• AI-driven coaching and therapy
• Potential benefits and use cases
• Concerns about privacy, emotional support, and effectiveness
• Strengths and weaknesses of using AI for dehoarding
• Personal observations on specific tasks AI is good at, such as scheduling
• Mention of AI's limitations, imaginary recommendations, and the need for skepticism

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The topic for today is perfectionism and its connection to hoarding. I talk with Dr Jan Eppingstall about perfectionism and its impact on hoarding behaviour. We share personal experiences and struggles with perfectionism, discussing the fear of failure and the tendency to give up if something cannot be done perfectly.

We also touch upon the importance of psychological flexibility, being present in the moment, and living by our values. Dr. Eppingstall enlightens us with insights on challenging rigid thought patterns, breaking free from the demands of perfection, and embracing personal growth.

• Perfectionism and fear of failure drive hoarding.
• Perfectionism linked to hoarding and obsessive personalities.
• Rigid thinking
• Surprised by others' flexibility
• Children with insecure attachment blame themselves for parents' problems.
• Curiosity, experimentation, and flexibility lead to growth.
• Encouraging exploration leads to personal growth.
• Regretting inaction is a bigger regret.
• Relax, do it wrong, get more done.
• Perfectionism and fear of failure relate to hoarding.
• Concerns over mistakes and parental criticism are prominent.
• Being creative with limited resources to find solutions and not being rigid in following rules or plans.
• Turtle mode hinders logic, self-criticism hampers progress.
• Children with insecure attachment due to a parent's mental illness or preoccupation tend to believe they cause their parents' problems
• They feel pressured to help their parents and seek validation through achievements and obedience to alleviate their parents' sadness or anger.
• Perfectionism linked to trauma response, family expectations.
• Fear of negative emotions, regret of not pursuing dreams.
• People are adaptable and inventive
• Give yourself permission to make mistakes, relax, and get more done
• The reluctance to start or complete tasks to avoid an imperfect outcome
• Self-criticism and lack of confidence as common problems with perfectionism
• Overcoming perfectionism and embracing flexibility
• Psychological flexibility: being present, taking action guided by values
• The importance of curiosity and challenging behaviours
• Living by values rather than solely focusing on goals
• The role of a support system in venturing outside the comfort zone
• Taking small, cautious steps outside the comfort zone
• Opening up slowly leads to personal growth and a sense of accomplishment
• Breaking rigid thought patterns through repeated challenging
• Recognising triggers and behaviours associated with perfectionism
• Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) as helpful approaches
• Perfectionism as a manifestation of people-pleasing and trauma response
• Perfectionism leading to feelings of not being enough or worthy
• Using perfectionism as a coping mechanism for emotions and relationships
• Addressing perfectionism through therapy and exploring its underlying reasons
• Progress and success can still be achieved even if things don't go perfectly or as planned
• Regretting not doing the things we wanted to do in life rather than letting go of physical possessions
• Challenging negative "what if" scenarios and highlighting potential positive outcomes
• Demanding standards, self-criticism, fear of wasting or making mistakes in hoarding behaviour

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I've always believed in making positive change through my purchases. Recycling, supporting local businesses, and buying eco-friendly products have been my way of feeling like I'm making a difference, saving the world one shopping trip at a time. But I had a revelation. In today's episode, I'll explore the common belief that shopping can be a form of activism, that it is positive to support or promote whatever values are important to us. The struggles of aligning hoarding tendencies with ethical and environmental values are not lost on me. I'll delve into the difficulties of ethical purchasing and provide some insights to help you navigate through the clutter.

• Expressing beliefs through items can lead to clutter
• False advertising misleads consumers with "natural" claims
• Some environmentally friendly products are more toxic
• Resource extraction required for "ethical" consumption too
• Choose green options but be mindful of unnecessary consumption
• Individual actions won't save world; collective action needed
• Systemic change
• Believing we've done our part hinders change
• Hoarders struggle with ethical purchasing decisions; advice appreciated
• Although we can make ethical shopping choices, society convinces us that spending money on stuff is a form of activism
• Supporting local businesses is beneficial, but it doesn't negate the negative consequences of buying something
• Supporting recycling and shopping in charity shops can lead to excessive clutter and prevent others from purchasing
• Buying items to display or share beliefs/values can lead to clutter; shopping won't save the world
• Companies can mislead consumers by labelling products as "natural" or eco-friendly, leading us to believe we are making a positive impact
• Electric car batteries release significant amounts of CO2 before being purchased
• It's important to strive for better socially, environmentally, and personally, and to make informed choices when purchasing necessary items
• Stocking up on unnecessary items is problematic
• Collective action and societal change are needed for significant global change, not individual shopping habits
• Boycotts may not be effective in changing company practices if they are still profitable
• Changing to unleaded petrol required a law change
• Believing shopping solves problems hinders impactful change; focus on reducing consumption, reusing, and finding real solutions
• The hoarder's perspective on making positive change through purchases
• Recognising flawed thinking and greenwashing
• People believing they are saving the Earth through shopping
• Greenwashing and misleading consumers with eco-friendly claims
• Ethics of shopping and the reality of consumerism
• Contribution of consumerism and resource consumption to environmental damage
• Interconnection between social and environmental issues
• Pitfalls of feel-good consumerism and the importance of reducing consumption
• How buying green products can lead to complacency and less virtuous behaviour
• Eco junk
• Emphasis on consuming less and reducing consumption as a more effective solution
• Shopping cannot solve issues like climate change, racism, inequality, or homophobia
• Aligning ethical values with challenging hoarding tendencies

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In this episode, we're diving into the topic of squalor. Is it the same as hoarding? Can you have a squalid environment without hoarding being present? Compulsive hoarding and living in unsanitary conditions can have a profound impact on us. We'll explore the key factors and distinctions between hoarding and squalor, as well as the underlying causes that contribute to these behaviours. From acquired brain injuries and cognitive impairments to mental health disorders, we'll delve into the intricate web of reasons why people find themselves in these challenging situations. We'll also touch on the impact of substance misuse, the role of physical disabilities, and the link between hoarding and conditions such as dementia, schizophrenia, and OCD.

Join us as we explore the different characteristics, challenges, and possible solutions for hoarding and squalor. Whether you're facing hoarding tendencies yourself or seeking to understand these behaviours better, this episode is for you.

• Differentiating Hoarding, Squalor, Clutter, and Collecting
• Hygiene practices determined by culture.
• Unsanitary living caused by physical disability, dementia, illness, brain injuries, psychiatric disorders
• Long-term substance abuse damages brain's command centre
• Hoarding and squalor pose health risks
• Seek help for environmental neglect without shame
• The definition of unsanitary is determined by cultural hygiene practices, varying across cultures
• It relates to the reasonable person's judgment of cleanliness based on cultural norms.
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and contamination fears
• Substance abuse impairs decision making and damages the prefrontal cortex
• Hoarding and squalor pose health risks due to unhygienic living conditions and food safety issues.
• Prefrontal cortex damage explains dementia-related hoarding
• Unsanitary environments can result from socioeconomic factors such as poverty and limited access to sanitation services
• Lack of access to rubbish removal and funds for disposal
• Hoarding behaviours can lead to unsanitary living conditions due to hoarding severity, clutter volume, and difficulty discarding items. This attracts vermin and causes shame
• Living alone can lead to higher risk of unsanitary conditions
• Seek professional help, consider NDIS support for disabilities
• Clutter makes cleaning difficult
• Impairment in decision-making due to substance abuse
• Acquired brain injuries and neglect of personal and environmental hygiene
• Impairment of the command centre of the brain
• Deteriorating eyesight and its effect on recognising unsanitary areas
• Isolation and lack of support for seniors
• Loss and depression leading to neglect of hygiene
• Self-neglect among hoarders
• Characteristics of squalid living environments
• 1. Lack of purposeful clutter
• 2. Absence of emotional attachment to objects
• 3. Fear of objects that have touched other objects
• Root causes of squalid environments
• Waste management and food storage
• Socioeconomic Factors
• Access to education, poverty, and sanitation services
• Challenges faced by people living in public housing
• Role of support systems in overcoming squalor
• Seeking help from mental health professionals and GPs
• Overcoming shame
• Challenges Faced by Aging Hoarders
• Influence of injuries or loss on hoarding behaviours
• Avoiding unhelpful and meaningless labels
• Squalor cannot be overcome by willpower alone
• Emotional and functional purposes driving hoarding behaviour

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Today’s episode is all about the pros and cons of selling your stuff. If you've been following my journey, you know that I have been apprehensive about selling items in the past. But I've taken a tentative step into the world of selling my clutter. Today I'm going to share the lessons I've learned and explore whether selling is truly worth it. So, grab your headphones and get ready for an insightful discussion on the potential benefits and drawbacks of selling your stuff.

Selling stuff slows you down, hampers decluttering

Holding on to things instead of selling

Potential and creativity don't guarantee objective value

Saves money, extends life cycle, reduces waste, helps environment, satisfies hoarder brain

Time, effort, selling, selling process

Selling stuff may hinder hoarder's progress - delay, excuses

No guarantee of sales or payments; uncertain and time-consuming process

Setting parameters saves energy.

Selling slows down decluttering, creates excuses to keep items.

If we don't want to get rid of something, we might pretend we'll sell it without actually doing so

We use excuses to avoid throwing it away because we have a tendency to hoard

We believe someone else will want it.

Realistic value check.

We overestimate the value of our possessions.

Selling stuff can make money during tough times

Varies depending on what you sell.

Someone else can use them

Reusing is better than recycling or throwing away. It's environmentally beneficial

Selling can be both a motivator and an excuse for delaying getting rid of things

There is no guarantee of selling or payment for listed items.

Unpredictable

Listing and selling items require time and energy that could be used more productively.

Charity shops save time and effort compared to eBay

Not advocating selling everything

Previous stance on selling items and recent change in perspective

Importance of finding a balance and considering what is best for oneself and the items being sold

Making money while in debt or struggling with bills

Benefiting from the extra money, especially in a tough economy

Extending the life cycle of items by reusing them

Supporting the idea of reducing consumption

Sense of satisfaction in knowing that items will be put to good use by someone else

Uncertainty involved in the selling process

Difficulty in determining the right price for items

Frustration of receiving offers below desired price or dealing with non-paying buyers

Feeling demoralised if treasured items don't sell

Potential dissatisfaction with the final amount received after all the effort

eBay fees and the impact on the final selling price

Potential Hoarding Related Challenges of Selling

The tendency to use selling as a means to delay getting rid of items

The role of selling as a motivator versus an excuse to hold onto possessions

Assessing individual motivations for selling personal belongings

Considering whether the effort and time invested in selling outweigh other actions

Setting a minimum price threshold for Facebook Marketplace to avoid lowball offers

Taking into account one's overall personality and goals when deciding to sell or keep items

Insights and Lessons Learned from Selling

Realizing that overvaluing possessions is common for hoarders

Recognizing the importance of speed in decluttering and minimizing possessions

Learning about oneself and possessions through the selling process

Reiteration of the importance of finding a balance between selling and letting go

Highlighting the benefits and potential challenges of selling items

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In this episode, I look at the topic of regret when it comes to dehoarding. Drawing from my own experiences, I delve into the fear of regret that often plagues individuals who hoard. She discusses the negative impact this anticipation of regret can have on the state of our homes and our lives, as well as the importance of reframing our mindset. Through personal anecdotes and valuable reflections, That Hoarder shares how considering the potential regrets of not dehoarding and the potential benefits of letting go can help overcome this fear. She provides practical tips and strategies for navigating the journey towards a clutter-free life. Let's confront and conquer our fear of regret in the dehoarding process.

• Regretting hoarding, but also regretting not changing.
• Focus on potential regret or potential benefits
• Regrets and fears may hinder decluttering items.
• Starting slowly can prevent future regret.
• Making decisions without regret is nearly impossible
• Setting time limits and asking for help can be helpful in making difficult decisions.
• Occasional painful regret can be transformative.
• Step towards personal growth and home improvement.
• Importance of considering both regret and lack of regret in decision-making.
• Focus on potential benefits, not regret or fear
• Reframe questions to consider gains or missed opportunities
• Identify core fears to address them.
• Examining fears of regretting and loss of objects, emphasising a realistic perspective.
• Weigh the pros and cons and take measured actions
• Holding onto everything restricts opportunities and can lead to a limited life.
• Making decisions without regret is difficult, but setting time limits and seeking advice can help
• Sharing fears with others can quiet them.
• Making decisions, big or small, can bring about regrets. Others may not have experience with hoarding but can offer perspectives on overcoming regrets.
• Personal growth and improving coping skills can enhance our lives and homes.
• Anticipation of regret in hoarding
• Negative impact on homes and lives
• Insurance policy approach to dehoarding
• Battle with fear of regret
• We forget to anticipate regret of not taking action
• Potential future regret from not making homes easier to live in
• Considering what might be missed out on if not taking action
• Reframing questions to include potential benefits
• Personal experience of not regretting donating to charity shops
• Focusing on potential benefits instead of potential regret
• Identifying the core fear beyond the fear of regret
• Addressing and assessing the fear
• Examples of fears related to specific objects or items
• Starting gradually and assessing each step
• Testing out fears and evaluating the actual feelings
• Using previous experiences to build confidence
• Taking action before reaching a crisis
• Importance of addressing the fear before drastic consequences
• Acknowledging the realities of life circumstances
• Encouraging steady and ongoing progress
• Weighing pros and cons and considering fears
• Making more considered and measured decisions to prevent future regret

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