That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

With therapist Dr Jan Eppingstall, I look at the scarcity dilemma, uncovering the complex relationship between fear, control, and hoarding. We explore the link between scarcity and compulsive hoarding behaviours and how marketing tactics manipulate our emotions and behaviorus, leading us to accumulate more than we need. We look at strategies and discuss the psychological reasons behind the urge to hoard and the challenging process of letting go.

For the transcript for this episode, visit http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk

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Help out: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/support-this-project/

• Importance of being aware of marketing tactics and their influence on emotions and behaviors.
• Creating a space between stimulus and response to choose how to react.
• Consideration of how a purchase will fit into our lives and finite home space.
• Advising against in-store hoarding and hiding behaviors.
• The urge to buy when something is believed to be scarce.
• Charity shops as challenging for those triggered by scarcity.
• Reactant theory and limited availability triggering increased attention and attraction.
• Psychological factors contributing to hoarding behaviour.
• Anxiety disorder and fear of making mistakes or being unprepared.
• Preference for acquiring goods now rather than having more cash later.
• Using possessions for control and anticipation of future needs.
• Anticipated regret and comparison of acquisition and non-acquisition outcomes.
• Scarcity perception, reactance, and fear of missing out (FOMO).
• Limited availability as a threat to personal freedom.
• Sense of urgency to buy and hoard when perceiving a shortage.
• FOMO as a prevalent fear of not being able to purchase.
• Mindset shifts and gratitude
• Recognising and expressing gratitude for abundance in one's life.
• Hoarding as compensatory behavior for insecure attachment.
• Filling the void of missing connections.
• Providing hedonistic pleasure and dopamine hit.
• Compensating for lacking or not acknowledging something.
• Finding fulfillment beyond material possessions.
• Importance of recognising and being grateful for small moments and human interactions.
• Random joy and emotional fulfillment over material things.
• Ethical concerns with therapists receiving constant marketing offers.
• Overwhelming amount of emails for online courses and discounts.
• Feeling uncomfortable and "icky" about this type of marketing.
• Effectiveness of different types of scarcity.
• Limited quantity scarcity vs. limited time scarcity.
• Limited quantity scarcity leading to competition and pride.
• Bargains as part of the gift and providing satisfaction.
• Disagreement with scarcity mindset versus abundant mindset descriptions.
• Lack of competitiveness or jealousy towards others.
• Belief in collaboration and not worrying about others' resources.
• Curiosity about the fear of scarcity and its underlying reasons.

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In today's episode, we're exploring the power of turning your chair round and embracing different perspectives.

For the transcript for this episode, visit http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk

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• Imagining advice from different perspectives
• Gaining new insights and advice
• Showing compassion towards yourself
• Questioning how things are done
• Exploring different ways to frame situations
• Beginner's Mind from Zen Buddhism:
• Dropping expectations and preconceived ideas
• Stepping out of comfort zone
• Initial discomfort leading to eventual comfort
• Trying new things can be scary but rewarding
• Questioning and reevaluating rules:
• Determining if rules are still useful and relevant
• Challenging yourself to break established patterns
• Confirmation bias: Seeking information that aligns with existing beliefs
•  Perfectionism in organizing possessions:
•  Energizing and motivating the organising process
• Believing in different possibilities
•  Challenging the belief that things have to be a certain way forever
•  Exploring new ways of thinking and doing things
• Challenging fears:
• Proving fears are not necessarily true
• Gentle self-reflection:
• Encouraging personal growth and understanding
• Turning the chair around
• Seeing possibilities and solutions with a fresh outlook
• Practicing beginner's mind and mindfulness
• Looking for something unrelated to existing interests

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For the transcript for this episode, visit http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk 

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Join me as I delve into wishcycling and the connection between hoarding and sustainable practices.

On this episode of Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder, I dive into the topic of wishcycling and how it relates to hoarding. I explore the concept of repairing and upcycling as effective ways to extend the lifespan of items, discussing the difference between repairing and intending to repair. I learn about the importance of following through with repair plans and setting deadlines.

Wishcycling, the act of putting non-recyclable items in recycling bins, is the main topic of discussion. I explore common items that are often wishcycled, such as plastic bags and crisp/chip packets, and the negative impact it can have I highlight the recycling initiative TerraCycle, which offers recycling programs for difficult-to-recycle items.

I emphasise the 5 Rs and how hoarders can focus on reducing consumption to tackle overwhelm in their homes. I also discuss the potential distractions these can pose for hoarders and the importance of prioritising oneself, the home, and the people we live with over broken or damaged items.

I also look at the uncertainty surrounding recyclable items and the complexities of the recycling process, emphasising the need to question if we really need something before acquiring it.

Topics:

• Definition of wishcycling and its negative effects
• Commonly wishcycled items and misconceptions
• The impact of wishcycling on recycling machines and materials
• Extending the lifespan of items through repair and upcycling
• Examples of effective repair and upcycling techniques
• The difference between repairing and intending to repair
• Overview of TerraCycle and its recycling programs
• Personal Experience with Repairing
• Setting a strict deadline to avoid procrastination
• Applying Principles of Reuse and Repair:
• How reducing consumption can help tackle overwhelm in hoarded homes
• Balancing Repair and Hoarding:
• Repairing as a potential distraction or excuse for hoarding
• Prioritising oneself and loved ones over broken or damaged items
• Tendency to reuse unsafe items in hoarded homes
• An overview of the five R's (reduce, reuse, repair, rot, recycle)
• The question of need and waste reduction
• Personal Motivation and the Environment:
• Survivors of trauma as environmentally motivated individuals
• Hoarding as a barrier to caring for the environment
• The personal and global benefits of reducing consumption
• Acknowledging uncertainties in recycling practices

 

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'If you had told me on March 30, 2021, when I put up two episodes of me rambling into my phone, that two-and a-bit years later, I would have 100 episodes live, I would have over 100,000 downloads, I would have had an array of amazing guests, I would never have believed you.'

- Celebration of the podcast's 100th episode and over 100,000 downloads

- Gas man visit as an opportunity to assess progress

- Importance of talking about difficult topics and dismantling stigmas

- Power of experimentation, curiosity, and strategic questioning

- Recognizing the negative impact of self-criticism

- Understanding that beating yourself up prevents action

- Importance of addressing underlying patterns and reasons behind hoarding behaviors

- Creativity and unconventional strategies may be necessary in overcoming hoarding tendencies.

- Importance of asking strategic questions in decision-making

For the transcript for this episode, visit http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk

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- https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/darling

- https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions

- Twitter: @ThatHoarder

- Mastodon: @[email protected]

- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thathoarderoch

- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Overcome-Compulsive-Hoarding-with-That-Hoarder-104370761703319

- Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/ThatHoarder

- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSxMqB_fGckbGOQZpkl6l9g

- Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/overcomehoarding/

- Help out: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/support-this-project/

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For the transcript for this episode, visit the website at http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk 

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On this episode, I dive into why hoarders are so fixated on stuff. Joining me is Dr Jan Eppingstall, who looks into the theory of transitional objects developed by Winnicott and how they shape our attachment styles. We explore how these objects serve as a source of comfort and self-soothing, representing our primary caregiver. Jan discusses how uncertainty can lead to people-pleasing and masking of emotions. We also learn about the impact of insecure attachment on hoarding behaviours and the role of belongings in forging connections and fulfilling our emotional needs. We also discuss the complex interaction between genetics and environment in hoarding tendencies. Tune in for a deep dive into the psychological factors behind our attachment to our possessions.

- Transitional object theory by Winnicott

- The role of transitional objects in comforting children, representing the primary caregiver

- How transitional objects help children become independent and manage separation anxiety

- Uncertainty and people-pleasing behaviours

- Excessive attachment to belongings stemming from childhood experiences

- Attachment styles and secure and insecure attachment

- Using possessions to gain power, impress others, make connections

- Attachment theory and its impact on hoarding behaviours

- The use of possessions to forge connections

- Possessions as non-confrontational and not disappointing compared to people

- Attachment insecurity linked to negative thoughts about self-worth, shame, and unstable identity

- Growing up in a hoard leading to disorganised attachment and attachment trauma

- Understanding why people attach meaning to possessions

- Possessions reflecting aspects of personality, intelligence, or past achievements

- Ambivalent sense of self in hoarding and its relation to identity struggles

- Common themes for hoarding: avoiding negative emotions, holding onto past happiness, validating past pain

- Factors contributing to hoarding: instinctual nature of stockpiling and inability to avoid engaging with possessions

- Coping mechanisms, their classifications as acceptable or unacceptable, and the tipping point to excessive behaviours

- John Bowlby's attachment theory and its focus on distress and anxiety in babies when separated from primary caregiver

- Influence of early separation on psychological well-being, based on experimental studies during the Blitz

- The role of transitional object attachment

- Mary Ainsworth's extension of Bowlby's research through the Strange Situation experiments

- Identification of secure attachment and three types of insecure attachment: anxious, avoidant, and disorganised

- Hoarding tendencies being more common among first degree relatives

- Chromosome regions associated with hoarding, but no clear susceptibility genes identified

- Limited support for a genetic predisposition to hoarding

- Disproven hypotheses about hoarding and scarcity or deprivation

- The interaction between nature (genetics) and nurture (environment)

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Topics covered:

- The power and potential of curiosity in hoarding

- The benefits of changing beliefs and embracing new perspectives

- Admitting mistakes and apologising as a less stressful alternative

- The importance of admitting when you don’t know something

- Using curiosity to understand why tasks or environments seem impossible

- How therapy can increase curiosity and explore hoarding thoughts and patterns

- Accepting uncertainty and unanswered questions

- Being open to new experiences

- The positive impact of curiosity on mental health and personal growth

- Seeking out new information, different perspectives, and asking questions

- Examples of curiosity, such as exploring fears or understanding others' experiences

- Embracing creativity as a way to foster curiosity

- Engaging with people from different backgrounds and life stories

- Encouraging open communication, learning, and challenging assumptions

- The importance of trying new things multiple times before forming an opinion

- Deepening connections through a curious outlook

- Strategies to encourage curiosity, like treating tasks as experiments

- Framing dehoarding tasks as an experiment

- The effectiveness of the curious and experimental mindset in dehoarding

- Thinking outside the box for a more creative and innovative outlook

- Acceptance of different people and ideas through curiosity

- Adding depth to life through trying new things and learning

- Being present and engaged through attention to details

- Learning from mistakes and cultivating personal growth through curiosity

- Feeling safe to make mistakes and explore for curiosity to thrive

- The numerous benefits of developing a curious outlook

- Opening up communication and expanding one's world through exploration

- The ripple effect of bravery and curiosity on other aspects of life

For the full show notes and transcript for this episode, visit the website at http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

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"Don't fall into the temptation of having a box for any old miscellaneous thing that doesn't have an obvious home, because I think that leads to the same problem you've already got, just in boxes instead of spread around the house or instead of on the floor or instead of where things currently are."

• Dealing with miscellaneous items without an obvious home or purpose
• Host's personal success and weird dilemma
• Listener secret
• Top tip

For the full show notes and transcript for this episode, visit the website at Overcome Compulsive Hoarding / http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

• Subscribe to the podcast
• Become a Dehoarding Darling https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/darling
• Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions
• Twitter: @ThatHoarder
• Mastodon: @[email protected]
• TikTok: @thathoarderoch https://www.tiktok.com/@thathoarderoch
• Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder / https://www.facebook.com/Overcome-Compulsive-Hoarding-with-That-Hoarder-104370761703319
• Pinterest: That Hoarder / https://www.pinterest.com/ThatHoarder
• YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder / https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSxMqB_fGckbGOQZpkl6l9g
• Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder / https://www.reddit.com/r/overcomehoarding/
• Help out: Support this project / http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/support-this-project/

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There are a lot of myths and misconceptions about hoarding and hoarding disorder and hoarders and how much people misunderstand this weird condition.

And so I started jotting down some of them as I thought of them and I also asked on various different social channels what myths and misconceptions you heard a lot and which ones annoyed you the most and wow, you feel as strongly as I do about there being a lot of them around.

So I have narrowed it down to 15 and I'm going to talk you through them and how they manifest and why they are wrong.

For the full show notes and transcript for this episode, visit the website at Overcome Compulsive Hoarding / http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/

Become a Dehoarding Darlinghttps://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/darling

Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions

Twitter: @ThatHoarder

Mastodon: @[email protected]

TikTok: @thathoarderoch https://www.tiktok.com/@thathoarderoch

Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder / https://www.facebook.com/Overcome-Compulsive-Hoarding-with-That-Hoarder-104370761703319

Pinterest: That Hoarder / https://www.pinterest.com/ThatHoarder

YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder / https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSxMqB_fGckbGOQZpkl6l9g

Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder / https://www.reddit.com/r/overcomehoarding/

Help out: Support this project / http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/support-this-project/

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"Shame is called a pro-social emotion insofar as it's pro-social because it facilitates us having harmonious social relationships.
"The problem is that sometimes the norms and standards of our group can be unjust or unfair.
"And so you might start to feel shame when there's no reason for you to feel shame." - Professor Luna Dolezal
For the full show notes and transcript for this episode, visit the website at Overcome Compulsive Hoarding / http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
Become a Dehoarding Darling https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/darling
Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions
Twitter: @ThatHoarder
Mastodon: @[email protected]
TikTok: @thathoarderoch https://www.tiktok.com/@thathoarderoch
Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder / https://www.facebook.com/Overcome-Compulsive-Hoarding-with-That-Hoarder-104370761703319
Pinterest: That Hoarder / https://www.pinterest.com/ThatHoarder
YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder / https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSxMqB_fGckbGOQZpkl6l9g
Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder / https://www.reddit.com/r/overcomehoarding/
Help out: Support this project / http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/support-this-project/
Support the show

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"Shame is called a pro-social emotion insofar as it's pro-social because it facilitates us having harmonious social relationships.

"The problem is that sometimes the norms and standards of our group can be unjust or unfair.

"And so you might start to feel shame when there's no reason for you to feel shame." - Professor Luna Dolezal

For the full show notes and transcript for this episode, visit the website at Overcome Compulsive Hoarding / http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
Become a Dehoarding Darling https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/darling
Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions
Twitter: @ThatHoarder
Mastodon: @[email protected]
TikTok: @thathoarderoch https://www.tiktok.com/@thathoarderoch
Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder / https://www.facebook.com/Overcome-Compulsive-Hoarding-with-That-Hoarder-104370761703319
Pinterest: That Hoarder / https://www.pinterest.com/ThatHoarder
YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder / https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSxMqB_fGckbGOQZpkl6l9g
Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder / https://www.reddit.com/r/overcomehoarding/
Help out: Support this project / http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/support-this-project/

There is strong evidence that CBT can help people who hoard and accessing therapy online can be affordable and accessible. Find out more and get your discount at https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/onlinetherapy

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