Own Your Edge

This is the fourth episode of the six-part series, “Demystifying Assertiveness.”

Series. 2: Episode 4
 

In this episode, Dr. Dee Discusses:

• What is mental ascendency of State
• What steps do we take to create this state?

Key Takeaways:

1. First you start with this question. What do I notice about my ability to navigate conversations authentically? Am I authentic? What is working? What is not?
2. Our thoughts create our interactions and situations
3. Conditioned consciousness plays a part.
4. Learning to listen at level 3

Resources:

U.S. Anderson. (2012). The Magice of Your Mind.

Connect with Dr. Dee:

Website: BlueEggLeadership.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drtrudeau

This is the third episode of the six-part series, “Demystifying Assertiveness.”

Series. 2: Episode 3

In this episode, Dr. Dee Discusses:

• Stress induced communication
• How you can preframe with the three questions
• What are the three questions?
• Postframe to improve the process
   

Key Takeaways:

• Statistics show American’s are stressed: 83% of US workers suffer from work-related stress.US businesses lose up to $300 billion yearly as a result of workplace stress. During 2019, 80% of workers in the US were stressed as a result of ineffective company communication.
• What are the three questions?
• There are three post frame questions to practice also.

“By practicing using the three pre-frame and post frame questions you can navigate conversations more effectively. Practice this consistently to improve your assertiveness”. Dr. Dee

Resources:

Connect with Dr. Dee:

Website: BlueEggLeadership.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drtrudeau

This is the second episode of the six-part series, “Demystifying Assertiveness.”

Series. 2: Episode 2

In this episode, Dr. Dee Discusses:

• Assertiveness and stress
• Why is it important
• The inner and outer world of assertiveness

Key Takeaways:

Not being assertiveness denies us of productivity, clarity of direction, good conversations, decision making efficacy and causes stress.

1. Self-defeating believes about self or other
2. Lack of skill of practicing self-management and communication
3. Not challenging thoughts about the situation

“Assertiveness is the balance of mastery between skillful communication, effective listening, and curious learning. It’s a powerful practice that separates originators apart.” –Dr. Dee

Resources:

Back, R & Back, K. (1986). Assertiveness at Work – A Practical guide to Handling Awkward Situations. McGraw Hill, London.
 

Connect with Dr. Dee:

Website: BlueEggLeadership.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drtrudeau

This is the first episode of the six part series, “Demystifying Assertiveness.”

     Series. 2: Episode 1

In this episode, Dr. Dee Discusses:

• The “continuum” of assertiveness
• What is the difference between passive, aggressive and assertive communication
• Determining where you stand on the continuum so you can change it
• What keeps us from being assertive?

Key Takeaways:

• Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive. In the field of psychology and psychotherapy, it is a skill that can be learned and a mode of communication.
• The continuum really separates from coping communication techniques and effective assertive techniques!
• Assertive: Assertive is actually the natural style you were born with. Your wise self as a child would ask questions, share ideas, stories, narratives and tell others what you wanted or thought.
• Assertiveness is the practice of talking with concise, clear, compassionate language and listening at level three. It is influential, powerful and empowering.

“Assertiveness is the balance of mastery between skillful communication, effective listening, and curious learning. It’s a powerful practice that separates originators apart.” –Dr. Dee

Recommended Resources: 

Back, R & Back, K. (1986). Assertiveness at Work –A Practical guide to Handling Awkward Situations. McGraw Hill, London.

Connect with Dr. Dee:

 Website: BlueEggLeadership.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drtrudeau

This is the final episode of the six part series, "Making Headway with Your Inner Dialogue: 6 Ways to Take Charge of Your Inner Critic."

     Series 1: Episode 6

In this episode, Dr. Dee discusses:

• How is it defined?
• What is personal agency theory?
• How does having personal agency benefit you
• What is the difference between hypo and hyperagency?
• The ten steps to achieve

Key Takeaways:

• Personal agency helps people choose their own paths and influence short-term outcomes plus longer-term destinies. Bandura's social cognitive theory identifies the core belief in personal agency as self-efficacy—confidence in our ability to perform a task or achieve a goal
• You are responsible for your thoughts which create your feelings and emotions
• There are key steps to achieve Owning Your Space:

1. Find your avatar values
2. Use your voice assertively
3. Control Stimuli
4. Associate Selectively
5. Get Active
6. Position Yourself as a Learner
7. Manage Your Emotions and Beliefs
8. Deliberate, Then Act
9. Connect to Resources
10. Practice mindfulness

“Owning your space is building an empowering consistent inner dialogue that inspires you to be bold, practice compassion and lean into mastering your awareness of your journey”-Dr. Dee

Recommended Resources:

• Alper S. (2020) Personal Agency. In: Zeigler-Hill V., Shackelford T.K. (eds) Encyclopedia of Personality and Individual Differences. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-24612-3_1871
• Bandura, A. Self-efficacy mechanism in human agency. Am. Psychol.37, 122–147 (1982).
• Bandura, A. (2000). Exercise of human agency through collective efficacy. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 9, 75–78.  https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-8721.00064.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
• Bandura, A. (2006). Toward a psychology of human agency. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 1, 164–180.  https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1745-6916.2006.00011.x.
• Haggard, P. Sense of agency in the human brain. Nat Rev Neurosci 18, 196–207 (2017). https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn.2017.14
• Napper and Rao, et. Al. (2019).The Power of Agency: The 7 Principles to Conquer Obstacles, Make Effective Decisions, and Create a Life on Your Own Terms. Macmillan Audio

Connect with Dr. Dee: 

Website: BlueEggLeadership.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drtrudeau

This is the fifth episode of the six part series, "Making Headway with Your Inner Dialogue: 6 Ways to Take Charge of Your Inner Critic."

     Series.1 : Episode.5

In this episode, Dr. Dee Discusses: 

• What are programs? 
• Mapping out a new program
• Your new program’s congruency
• Pre-experiencing a program

Key Takeaways: 

• Programs are our brain’s way of mapping out a belief combined with a memoryOur brain is always running on programs and sometimes, old programs get in the way. 
• First, consider a talent or behavior that you desire to see in yourself. Second, ask yourself who this program will benefit. Third, what is your passion? Fourth, think about your highest intention for this program. Fifth, take note of what benchmarks or behaviors you’ll see when you map out this program - what would you be doing, saying, and what would be your timeline. 
• Think about six reasons on how your program is congruent and make a timeline - like making progress in your program every two weeks. 
• Visualize what it would look like for you to have mapped out this program. Create a positive visualization of your desired outcomes. 

“You can construct self-defining memories from this moment forward by visualizing what you’d like to see. It helps shape your identity, it also builds your self-efficacy” - Dr. Dee 

Recommended Resources:

The Future of Memory: Remembering, Imagining, and the Brain
Daniel L. Schacter,1,*Donna Rose Addis,2Demis Hassabis,3Victoria C. Martin,2R. Nathan Spreng,4 andKarl K. Szpunar1
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3815616/

Connect with Dr. Dee: 

Website: BlueEggLeadership.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drtrudeau

This is the fourth episode of the six part series, "Making Headway with Your Inner Dialogue: 6 Ways to Take Charge of Your Inner Critic."

Series.1 : Episode.4

In this episode, Dr. Dee Discusses: 

• Five components of emotional resilience
• Practices for building emotional resilience
• What triggers you and how to know if you're triggered
• Pulling the lever whenever you're triggered

Key Takeaways: 

• Build social competence, look for win-win situations. Practice proactive problem-solving. Exercise freedom and autonomy. Forgive, let go and move on. Cultivate empathy and connect with people. 
• Take time daily to think of 10 things you're grateful for. Ask for help when you need help. Clarify your relationships, have emotional growth partners. Make some time for fun and laughter. 
• The lever is the ability to challenge your triggers through a reframe in the moment, so that the situation will be processed more objectively
• Pull the lever by asking yourself these questions: "what am I thinking about right now that's connecting these triggers and feelings", "what's coming up for me", "what emotions am I having" - be aware of fears and feelings within your answers. Then ask yourself, "is being triggered helpful?" Lastly, if it's not helpful, ask yourself what are other possible thoughts that could be helpful for you - think of five things.  

“Wherever your thoughts go, your reactions follow. Emotions are a chemical response to your thoughts. .” - Dr. Dee 

Recommended Resources:

Burns, David. The Secrets of Self Esteem. Retrieved from feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions

Robbins, Ocean. (2012 Jan 4). The neuroscience of why gratitude makes us healthier. Retrieved from huffpost.com September 27, 2021.

Chowdhury, Madhuleena. (2021 October 8). The Neuroscience of Gratitude and How it Affects Anxiety and Grief. Retrieved from https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude/ September 25, 2021

EQ Applied: The Real-World Guide to Emotional Intelligence by Justin Bariso

Connect with Dr. Dee: 

Website: BlueEggLeadership.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drtrudeau

This is the third episode of the six part series, "Making Headway with Your Inner Dialogue: 6 Ways to Take Charge of Your Inner Critic."

     Series.1 : Episode.3

In this episode, Dr. Dee Discusses: 

• The accurate meaning of Imposter Syndrome
• How to know if Imposter Syndrome affects you
• Categories of internal over-criticism
• How to address your inner critic for each category

Key Takeaways: 

• You don't have some devastating syndrome. Imposter Syndrome is a common second guessing phenomenon that a lot of achievers feel
• If you second guess your achievements or feel like you don't deserve your role, or that you feel like you're frauding someone you might be going through an imposter phenomenon
• The five categories: Perfectionist, Workaholic, Genius, Soloist, Expert. Identify which your inner critic lean towards and once you identify it, it's time to address it.
• For perfectionists, challenge yourself to think about turning things over. For workaholics, set a solid boundary to keep work at work. For genius, acknowledge that someone will know more than you at a certain subject. For soloists, see that you'll be able to do more with others. For experts, reflect on and share what you already learned.

“Daily and weekly, cultivating this contentment within and understanding mistakes are simply part of the learning.” - Dr. Dee 

Recommended Resources:

https://hbr.org/2021/02/stop-telling-women-they-have-imposter-syndrome

Dr. Valerie Young’s The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer From the Imposter Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/imposter-syndrome

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20200724-why-imposter-syndrome-hits-women-and-women-of-colour-harder

Connect with Dr. Dee: 

Website: BlueEggLeadership.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drtrudeau

This is the second episode of the six part series, "Making Headway with Your Inner Dialogue: 6 Ways to Take Charge of Your Inner Critic."

     Series.1 : Episode.2

In this episode, Dr. Dee Discusses: 

• The difference between realistic thinking and reality testing
• Avoiding the cycle of despair
• How to apply reality testing
• Utilizing reframe questions

Key Takeaways: 

• Thinking realistically is limiting. Reality testing is all about getting rid of assumptions and judgement - looking at things objectively and not personalized.
• Practice reality testing - see many variables and possibilities, not the most negative outcome.
• Acknowledge that sometimes you misread situations. Don’t jump to conclusions, don’t lock yourself into an assumption or judgement.
• Stop asking “why”, it’s usually not helpful. Ask clarification questions instead and explore at least three alternate examples.
• The three steps: reframe your situations with reality testing, explore the reframe of using three alternate examples, don’t take things personally.

“Avoid rushing into assumptions or immediate thoughts, watch for your patterns of thinking.” - Dr. Dee 

Connect with Dr. Dee: 

Website: BlueEggLeadership.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drtrudeau

This is the first episode of the six part series, "Making Headway with Your Inner Dialogue: 6 Ways to Take Charge of Your Inner Critic."

     Series.1 : Episode.1

In this episode, Dr. Dee Discusses: 

• What is the internal dialogue?
• Getting to know our internal dialogue
• Cognitive distortions to avoid
• How to cultivate a healthy inner dialogue

Key Takeaways: 

• Internal dialogue is you hearing your own inner voice - effective communication with that inner voice is crucial to building your identity and how you see the world.
• Mindfulness is all about catching our thoughts which are often slippery and putting them into the center of our awareness. You can assess what you’re thinking by how you’re feeling.
• Once we catch the thought, we can pick it apart and change it for the better and once we change our thoughts, we can ultimately change our lives.
• There are a lot of cognitive distortions - unhealthy thoughts that must be brought into awareness and be changed for your life to change for the better. Some samples of this is black-and-white thinking and personalizing. If you want to know if a thought is a distortion, ask yourself if that thought is helpful or if it bring any positive effect to your inner state.
• Creating your reality as an originator starts with a decision.

“The originator you see yourself being, it’s just a thought away and this is your first step in finding out how to do that. ” - Dr. Dee 

Recommended Resources:

“The Work” by Byron Katie

“Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior” by Mark Goulston and Philip Goldberg

“Taming Your Gremlin (Revised Edition): A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way” by Richard David Carson

Connect with Dr. Dee: 

Website: BlueEggLeadership.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drtrudeau