100% Real With Ruby; no #BS health, fitness & mindset

Here is one perception which a lot of us have engrained and it sabotages our lives: the perception that progress is linear. This means that consciously or not, we see progress like a straight road, which goes directly and smoothly to our destination.

If we want to truly embrace progress and have fun with it, we need to realize that progress is not linear. Progress is organic.

This mean that we may go through long periods with little progress, followed by periods of lighting fast progress, or periods when we regress, in order to create a context which allows even bigger progress than the previous one.

It’s really challenging when you find yourself in in this mental space. The pain you feel in the downfalls, it’s hard to sit with, especially when you’ve felt the joy of the wins. You feel like the wheels are falling off, you’re exhausted from fighting that voice in your head, and the last thing you want to do is re-commit yourself to doing “the work”. But “the work”, that’s where the magic happens.

My perspective on progress has slowly changed over the years. I think the low points and perceived losses are just as much a part of the “progress” as anything. The empowering wins happen because of our resilience in these moments of pain. The work it takes to pick yourself up and push through whatever challenge you’re facing, it sets the stage for the big wins. Insights may come when things start clicking again. The next time you end up in that difficult place, you may find yourself making different choices and engaging in different behaviors. As long as there is some amount of change to what you’re doing, that’s progress. If there isn’t and if the cycle just keeps repeating and repeating, the progress comes in recognizing something needs to change. So while no one wants to experience the lows, I think the lows play quite an important role in that thing we call “progress”. By definition what is progress? It’s forward or onward movement toward a destination. In my mind I’m starting to recognize that downfalls and pitfalls of therapy are actually forward movement towards a final destination. It’s just when we’re in these moments it feels nothing like progress. The progress is there though. We do have OCD after all, so we should be pretty good at recognizing our feelings aren’t always facts.

“if you get tired, learn to rest, not quit.”

1) These days our need for instant gratification means if we can’t get results quickly, we quit. And usually too soon. But, worthwhile work sometimes needs more time. Take a rest, don’t quit.

2) The busyness of our lives today – full schedules, the interruptions, constant digital noise, the go, go, go – ensures we’re often more fatigued than we want to be, so we will go into important work operating at less than optimum. - you know what that feels like. --> youll tire out before youre done, and instead of taking a rest, we quit.
Which slows progress and ultimate success.  

3) If you want to do great work, your body and mind need regular breaks to restore. And we don’t take our breaks anymore. We skip our coffee breaks, we take our lunch at our desk, we don’t get enough sleep… but we need to rest. It’s how we work. It’s how your body works.

Find Intrinsic Motivation
Intrinsic motivation is our innate desire to do something, and it comes when we work towards something that satisfies ourselves above all else—not our parents or our bosses or our teachers

If you allow all-or-nothing thinking to rule your mind, you’ll be on cloud nine when you succeed, but you’ll beat yourself up when you “fail.” Acknowledging the shades of gray in between will allow you to see success more often.

When you recognize an all-or-nothing thought, remember to look for the positive in the situation. What did you gain by trying? What would you have missed out on had you not tried? Could you do better if you were to try again?

Mental strength is like muscle strength--no one has an unlimited supply. So why waste your power on things you can't control?

A crucial part of developing mental toughness is learning to recognize negative tendencies and taking action to correct them early on with healthy habits. Developing mental toughness is not about eliminating weakness, but learning how to deal with it and overcome it.

STOP PUTTING HUGE GOALS OUT THERE that you are creating an entry level that is so far away from where you currently are and your current lifestyle.

You want to make action steps that are EASY to accomplish and keep shit simple – rinse and repeat – build up that confidence in yourself that you DO WHAT YOU SAID YOU WILL DO.

Call yourself out on your bullshit! Don’t let yourself get away from not doing the thing – become so good at the process. PR the process!

Set the entry level in reach – go for it, and make that your new normal. Make it vocal. and watch your vocabulary.

Don’t overthink it – make small promises, keep your word, CELEBRATE YOUR SMALL WINS! Celebrate every step of the journey!

Every small win matters. And you are ALLOWED TO CELEBRATE YOURSELF!!

Your beliefs become your thoughts, which eventually become your actions. Do you want to live in a way that showcases your negative thoughts, or your empowering ones?

“What’s your story? What do you believe about your lot in life? Are those beliefs empowering you or preventing you from living a happy, fulfilled life?”

Think about your biggest goal. Why haven’t you accomplished it yet? If you’re like most people, the answer is basic: fear. Fear is the limiting factor stopping you from working toward what you really want. Fear distracts us and leads to excuses – but it doesn’t have to. Learning how to overcome fear is one of the most liberating pursuits you can undertake.

CREATE GOALS THAT ARE “MUSTS”

Oftentimes the process of overcoming fear becomes stymied by uninspiring or elusive goals we set for ourselves. To turn this around, ask yourself: What does the life you desire and deserve look like? Is it just a “someday, maybe” plan or do you actively work toward it? Is it something that is attainable and you’re willing to commit to? The first step in overcoming fear is identifying whether or not you’re creating a compelling goal. If you accomplish this, will you feel fulfilled? Conversely, if you don’t accomplish this, will you be lost?

Dig deeper into your goal. What is your ideal outcome?

successful people talk about what they did to become what they are & only have a few minutes to give their story. So they deliver the highlights.

There is a lot of action missing in these absurd, truncated stories. If these were depicted as graphic novels, the negative space between each highlighted scene would be a mile wide. That negative space is the neutral zone. It’s the wilderness where we process life’s changes. It’s the time we spend either lost or stuck between endpoints.