Barb Knows Best

In this continuation of last week’s episode on healing, Barb and Michelle go deeper into the conversation of how we can start the path to healing, and share personal insights from their own journeys. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

There is no shame in seeking help from an outside source such as therapist or mental professional.

Helpful Steps to Start Healing:

• Skip the why and ask the what.
• Ask yourself the question WHAT is causing the pain, instead of why you are feeling the pain.
• Understand what is your responsibility to heal from and what is not. Know that you can’t do the healing work for someone else.
• Identify what it is that you need to heal.
• Become aware of how you feel in certain people’s presence, or situations that you are in.
• You don’t have to stay in situations where you are being harmed. You deserve better.
• Start to make one significant change that will start the healing process.
• Honor yourself in every way possible, in every moment possible.

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This week, Barb and Michelle dive into the topic of healing, and what the journey entails, and open up about some misconceptions they’ve experienced about the healing path. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Healing is for ourselves; not the other person.
• Healing is a forever process. We are always in a state of healing from different states or experiences. Allowing this to be true allows us to always be in a state of making ourselves whole again.
• We all experience trauma. Trauma is a challenging emotional consequence that we are living through because of a distressing event.
• Healing can begin when you start to truly look at the root of the trauma you are trying to heal from. Have awarenessof where we need to start with healing and what are the traumas.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

How to Heal from Trauma

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In this final episode diving into Barb’s retreat, Barb and Michelle tap into the biggest takeaways, the why’s to meditation and going on retreat, and how we all can start to implement the benefits Barb experienced, from our own home. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Poems Barb Read in Today’s Episode

• Sangha - Community
• Grandma Sumana
• Mitta - Friend

Meditation is simply taking some time to sit with yourself, a few minutes every day, sit alone to connect with yourself without distraction.

Benefits of Meditation

• You feel more confident.
• You become more self-aware.
• You have a deeper sense of trust and knowing.
• You start to have the clarity that you seek.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• The First Free Women – Original Poems Inspired by the Early Buddhist Nuns by Matty Weingast
• 11 Ways Meditation Has Changed My Life by Michelle Maros



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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle continue their conversation about Barb’s silent retreat and her biggest takeaways, including the life-changing revelation she had during an interaction with mud. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Buddhist tradition teaches there are two types of suffering:

1. Suffering that leads to more suffering. This happens when we fuel that suffering with negative thoughts.
2. Suffering that ends suffering. This occurs when we feel the feelings without letting the mind write stories that are not true.

From this retreat, Barb was able to recognize the deep sense of impermanence and how living in the present is how she can experience real joy. She learned how she had not truly been caring for herself, not receiving, just continuing to give without refilling her cup.

Compassion Meditation (Repeat to yourself)

I care about your suffering.

I care about your pain.

I care about you.

May you be free from your fears.

May you be peaceful and live with ease.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

The First Free Women – Original Poems Inspired by the Early Buddhist Nuns by Matty Weingast

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In this week’s episode, Barb opens up about her recent experience of attending a 30-day silent retreat. She shares her profound insights, takeaways, and the biggest challenges she faced. If you’ve ever been interested in silent retreats, this episode is for you! Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• When choosing a retreat: listen to your heart and allow it to guide your decision.*We do not recommend attempting a 30-day silent retreat for your first retreat.
• The retreat was based on love and kindness. Allow your heart to feel loving and kind.
• If the world presents us with something uncomfortable, if you sit long enough, you can become comfortable and then attach to it.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

The First Free Women – Original Poems Inspired by the Early Buddhist Nuns

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Feeling stuck or behind? This week’s episode is for you! In this vulnerable conversation, Barb and Michelle discuss the tricky topic of life timelines, how to formulate your own timing for your life, and release the societal pressure that we all experience. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Tips and practices to help you accept YOUR timeline:

1. Remind yourself you are not behind, there is NO real schedule to life.
2. Understanding who you are and what YOU want.
3. If there are things that you want, start to take the small steps to move yourself in that direction.
4. Cultivate a mindset of trusting your own timing.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

The Practice: Simple Tools for Managing Stress, Finding Inner Peace, and Uncovering Happiness by Barb Schmidt

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle continue their conversation from last week, answering listener questions and sharing personal stories and insights. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or atwww.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• How to feel comfortable being alone?
• Have the discernment of when you want to be alone and when you do not.
• Learn to love your own company and how to be fortified in our own company.
• Make a list of the things you like about yourself and the things you like about being alone. Understand the relationship you have with yourself and start being okay being you.
• How to overcome a break-up?
• Don’t deny yourself the feelings that you are having.
• Don’t talk yourself out of why you broke up in the first place.
• Honor the relationship you had by allowing yourself to grieve the end of the relationship.
• How to stop catastrophizing and overthinking things about life?
• Pause.
• Become aware of what you are thinking.
• Ask yourself, is this thought true?
• Have boundaries with how much you take in about things that give you anxiety and fear about life in general.
• You have to train your mind to bring your mind back to the present. It’s a practice.
• I am trying so hard to be everything to everyone, and what if I can’t?
• The truth is that you can’t do everything and be everything for everyone. It’s not possible.
• Ask yourself what can you do at this moment?
• Make a list of the people you can help and what you can do for them.
• Remember, you can’t take care of others if you don't take care of yourself.
• Know that people appreciate your love and care and support.
• How to stop caring about what other people think of us?
• Other people's opinions are a bi-product of their own experiences.
• Be your own biggest advocate.
• Be in alignment with yourself and your own truth.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• The Power of Solitudeby Michelle Maros
• How to Reframe Lonelinessby Michelle Maros
• 3 Tips for Mending Strained Relationshipsby Michelle Maros
• My #1 Reminder to Help Relieve Anxietyby Michelle Maros

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle take questions from the listeners about their relationship. They dive into the tricky dynamics of working together as family members, the sources of their biggest disagreements, and what they credit to making their relationship what it is today. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or atwww.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Knowing how you want to feel in a relationship and what you want that relationship to look like is powerful.

Fostering a healthy mother/daughter relationship isn’t easy.

Helpful tools:

• Therapy
• Meditation
• Mindfulness
• Starting from a place of love.
• Understanding

Tips for disagreements:

1. Don’t take things personally.
2. Reflect on the argument.
3. What caused the fight?
4. What caused the hurt feelings?
5. Where is my part in it?
6. Cultivate humor and levity.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Barb's Sign Quote by Dahlia Diell

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This week, Barb and Michelle dive into the much-requested topic of aging, what they think about the term “anti-aging”, and how they’ve managed their own feelings about the aging process. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or atwww.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• We all are constantly aging, it means we are alive.

• Set an intention daily to be comfortable in your own skin.
• You are more than just your looks and your age.
• You are a combination of all things.
• Beauty is not just on the outside, it is also on the inside.

• Love and accept yourself in this moment by embracing who you are and what you are now.

Three questions to ask yourself when trying to cultivate positive self-talk:

1. What am I thinking moment to moment? Respond with a positive affirmation when a negative thought comes into the mind.
2. What am I saying to myself? Name the negative for what it is: a lie.
3. What is happening in this moment? Pause so that you can have awareness of your feelings.

There are two constants in life:

1. Change is inevitable.
2. You are always worthy.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

How to Real Love and (Completely) Accept Yourself by Michelle Maros

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the art of assertive communication, and how we all can cultivate the skills needed to communicate in this way. Plus, they share their own personal experiences being afraid to be assertive for fears of not being liked, and more! Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or atwww.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Tips to becoming a more assertive communicator:

• Know who you are and what you want.
• Say what you mean.
• Be present in your conversation.
• Take responsibility and do not be passive in your communication.
• Ask questions for clarity.
• Tell the truth.
• Know when to be silent.
• Give yourself permission to take space in the conversation.
• Reinforce your boundaries.
• Be open to compliments as well as criticism.

Helpful responses when you are in a difficult conversation:

1. I’ve already said No twice. Could we please talk about something else?
2. I don’t tolerate (insert boundary here), so we can pause this conversation and come back to it later.
3. Please let me finish this one thought and I will give you a chance to speak.
4. I am not comfortable doing that or that doesn’t work for me. This one line will help with someone who is not willing to take “no” for an answer.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

10 Reminders for Effective Communication by Michelle Maros

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