Human Cogs Podcast

Nikole Ramsay grew up in a tumbling, hectic, people-filled household as the youngest of four kids. A self-confessed tomboy and late bloomer, Nik remembers the fun and chaos of a big family quickly shrinking as each of her three siblings grew up and left home.

She was left as an only, sometimes lonely child, in a quiet house in the suburbs, yearning for the abundance of a big and bustling family again.

Nik eventually grew up too, as we do, and left home to study, live and work overseas as a successful photographer, when she and her husband decided in their mid-30’s they wanted to start a family.

But after taking five years to conceive their son, they struggled to conceive again, and so together they began researching and considering the idea of fostering a child.

This episode steps into the seams of that story, and explores Nik and her husband’s eventual fostering of their now daughter.

We explore the uncertainties, hopes, expectations and emotions that surface when you open your heart and your home to bring a precious and vulnerable little stranger into your family fold. 

The journey has been filled with both joy and challenge, and at times, like all of us as parents, Nik wondered whether she could manage the emotional and relational strain of foster parenting.

But Nik describes her daughter as her greatest teacher and mirror to her own self and story, as she seeks to understand the role of nature and nurture in human development, and the unseen family forces that shape us all.

Guest: Nikole Ramsay
Website: nikoleramsay.com
Australian Foster Care Association 
Socials: Instagram, Facebook

Hosts: Sabina Read and Madeleine Grummet
Producer: Daryl Missen at Purple Wax

Human Cogs is available on Apple, Stitcher, Spotify, Google Podcasts or via our website.

Got some thoughts on today's episode you'd like to share?
Join in the convo at insta @human.cogs

Want to support our show? We will sprinkle you with loving kindness and all good things if you CLICK FOLLOW on Apple and Spotify! Or if you're really feeling it, please leave us a REVIEW.

Thanks for listening! 

Learn more and support the show: https://www.humancogs.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode starts with Richard Stansbury reading his heart-wrenching eulogy to his father. 

Richard says his father had been desperately searching for years, and had spent most of his life running from himself until he could no longer cope with the pain he experienced everyday. 

In this episode of Human Cogs, hosts Sabina Read and Madeleine Grummet explore the often taboo topic of suicide, the intergenerational impact of secrets, shame and mental illness in Richard’s family, and his own journey to find forgiveness and empathy for his father.

Richard now accepts there was nothing he could have done to save his Dad, and that finding ways to manage his own depression and suicidal thoughts is the way forward to change the cycle and the story for his family. 

This is a pretty raw conversation of transition and despair, and lays bare the emotional and turbulent human experience of depression and what happens in the wake of losing a parent to suicide.

Conversations about suicide are uncomfortable, but suicide is a topic that touches many, and an issue we all need to address. If this episode is distressing or triggering, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Guest: Richard Stansbury
RUOK day. Reach out to someone and ask R U OK?
World Suicide Prevention Day. Learn more here.

Hosts: Sabina Read and Madeleine Grummet
Producer: Daryl Missen at Purple Wax

Human Cogs is available on Apple, Stitcher, Spotify, Google Podcasts or via our website.

Got some thoughts on today's episode you'd like to share?
Join in the convo at insta @human.cogs

Want to support our show? We will sprinkle you with loving kindness and all good things if you CLICK FOLLOW on Apple and Spotify! Or if you're really feeling it, please leave us a REVIEW.

Thanks for listening! 

Learn more and support the show: https://www.humancogs.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jane Martino is a polymathic, award-winning Australian entrepreneur who has built multiple companies and is the Cofounder of globally recognised not-for-profit organisation Smiling Mind - a free online Mindfulness Meditation program that has more than 4 million regular users. 

Jane has been on the Board of the Melbourne Football Club, is a powerhouse business woman, and the author of multiple books including a series of children’s books on wellbeing that will be released in October 2020. And yep - she is also brewing another startup!

In this episode of Human Cogs, hosts Sabina Read and Madeleine Grummet chat to Jane about being a disruptor, the price one pays for professional attainment, and the work she has done to push back on societal and systemic norms to live her personal and professional story more intentionally, and authentically.

We also explore how she and her ex-husband, Matt Martino, found a way forward together to create positive shared-parenting strategies after their separation, and how raising her three boys with intentional transparency has helped anchor her during this time of life transition, and personal transformation. 

Guest: Jane Martino
Website: Smiling Mind
Socials: Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram (Smiling Mind)

Hosts: Sabina Read and Madeleine Grummet
Producer: Daryl Missen at Purple Wax

Human Cogs is available on Apple, Stitcher, Spotify, Google Podcasts or via our website.

Got some thoughts on today's episode you'd like to share?
Join in the convo at insta @human.cogs

Want to support our show? We will sprinkle you with loving kindness and all good things if you CLICK FOLLOW on Apple and Spotify! Or if you're really feeling it, please leave us a REVIEW.

Thanks for listening! 

Learn more and support the show: https://www.humancogs.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Matt Martino is a 49-year-old designer, artist and father of 3 boys who has had his quarter-life crisis, survived the hurt, loss and hard work of a marriage separation, and come out of it softer, more weathered and a whole lot wiser about the importance of being an optimistic man, conscious father and respectful ex-husband. 

He believes life is comprised of 7-year cycles, and that men’s biological clocks start ticking at about 28. By 35 you’ve got your house and family, and then BOOM! - at 42, your mid-life crisis kicks in and you start questioning yourself, the world around you, and what you have or haven’t achieved in comparison to others.

Matt has certainly lived his ‘7’s’, and had time to make sense of life’s cycles.

He’s been a father in Mother’s Group, and knows how desperately lonely it is behind the thankless curtain of stay-at-home parenthood when your day-to-day experience is a world away from your working partners.

He’s had to lose himself to find himself again when his marriage fell apart. And he’s done the work to go deep and get to know who he really is so he can show up - more fully present and alive - in his every day.  

But hitting 49 has been a big time of change for Matt, as he and his ex-wife continue to navigate how to co-parent their boys with respect and trust, and he learns to prioritise the importance of nurturing himself and his sons to live by the mantra of treating others as you wish to be treated yourself.

Join Human Cogs Hosts Sabina Read and Madeleine Grummet in this conversation with Matt Martino, which runs deep to the heart of what happens inside a man when a marriages ends, provides useful advice on how to successfully co-parent - and is ultimately an affirming story of the power of personal growth through pain.

Guest: Matt Martino 
Websites: The Father Hood - Open Letter from Matt Martino

Hosts: Sabina Read and Madeleine Grummet
Producer: Daryl Missen at Purple Wax

Human Cogs is available on Apple, Stitcher, Spotify, Google Podcasts or via our website.

Got some thoughts on today's episode you'd like to share?
Join in the convo at insta @human.cogs

Want to support our show? We will sprinkle you with loving kindness and all good things if you CLICK FOLLOW on Apple and Spotify! Or if you're really feeling it, please leave us a REVIEW.

Thanks for listening! 

Learn more and support the show: https://www.humancogs.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sally Capp is the first woman to be directly elected as Lord Mayor of Melbourne, and is a serial ‘have-a-goer’ by her own account. ​

(For the record, in her eagerness to get cracking in her newly elected role, she turned up for work at Melbourne Town Hall three days before she was meant to officially start).

But for all of her firsts, in this episode Human Cogs, Sally shares some of the "seconds" that are a formative part of her career story, and reveals what hasn’t worked out so well. 

She also unpacks the ‘a-ha’ moments that have come from the depths of despair; her “crack networking” skills, personal pressure points and issues-focussed feedback loop; her early career as a lawyer and unrealised dreams of becoming a barrister - plus the moment she decided to turn her energy and purpose to public life.

One of the many messages in the stories Sally shared with Hosts Sabina Read and Madeleine Grummet in this candid chat is her remarkable capacity to rethink old beliefs, heuristics and assumptions in the face of new people, information and experiences. 

This isn’t easy for any of us, and Sally reflects on the importance of challenging her own “puppy dog” behaviour, her work to develop a more authentic style of leadership that has enabled her to create opportunity of conflict - plus her ongoing focus on people and purpose (and not politics) that fuels her commitment to the unsung deeply human heroes of the everyday.

Guest: Lord Mayor Sally Capp 
Websites: City of Melbourne + sallycapp.com
Twitter: @SallyCapp_  @LordMayorMelb

Hosts: Sabina Read and Madeleine Grummet
Producer: Daryl Missen at Purple Wax

Human Cogs is available on Apple, Stitcher, Spotify, Google Podcasts or via our website.

Got some thoughts on today's episode you'd like to share?
Join in the convo at insta @human.cogs

Want to support our show? We will sprinkle you with loving kindness and all good things if you CLICK FOLLOW on Apple and Spotify! Or if you're really feeling it, please leave us a REVIEW.

Thanks for listening! 

Learn more and support the show: https://www.humancogs.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Darren Mort grew up in an abusive family and says he didn’t really have much of a childhood.

Every night he had a huge amount of regret waiting for his father’s car to pull up in the driveway. His father was a VFL legend - an angry and abusive man who had come from a ‘lousy’ household, and was scarred by his own difficult past. He eventually sent the family into bankruptcy and chaos when Darren was a teenager. 

In this episode of Human Cogs, hosts Sabina Read and Madeleine Grummet explore Darren's story and journey into his difficult past, to understand his complex relationship with a father he at times despised, and intergenerational family patterns of 'repeat and repel'. 

This is a remarkable story of Darren's survival and pathway to forgiveness, and to finding a way to carry himself forward and be the father and man he strives to be today in the shadow of his father's dysfunctional past. 

Darren is a renowned criminal and family law barrister, published author, acclaimed film maker and has made it his personal quest to stop the cycles of violence and damage in broken families. Of the nearly 1 in 2 marriages that end in divorce, 48% have kids involved, and 65% of those kids are exposed to family violence.

Darren is on a mission to change this, and help families separate with a pocketful of dignity instead of tearing each other apart. 

Guest: Darren Mort 

Hosts: Sabina Read and Madeleine Grummet
Producer: Daryl Missen at Purple Wax

Human Cogs is available on Apple, Stitcher, Spotify, Google Podcasts or via our website.

Got some thoughts on today's episode you'd like to share?
Join in the convo at insta @human.cogs

Want to support our show? We will sprinkle you with loving kindness and all good things if you CLICK FOLLOW on Apple and Spotify! Or if you're really feeling it, please leave us a REVIEW.

Thanks for listening! 

Learn more and support the show: https://www.humancogs.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Imagine being born in a body that doesn’t feel right.

Sam Eade knew from a young age that the colours pink and purple repelled him, and would throw tantrums when dressed in feminine clothes. He attended an all-girls school for 13 years, despite his rising gender dysmorphia and the feelings that he didn’t fit the body he was born in. 

When puberty hit, Sam’s life - and identity - went into chaos as he grappled with the quotidian challenge of trying to live with himself in a female form, and battle the ongoing reality of his real self emerging.

In 2016 he came out, identifying as male, after learning what transgender was on YouTube.

"Transgender" is an umbrella term that describes people whose gender identity or expression does not match the sex they were assigned at birth. (Alternatively, “cisgender” relates to people whose sense of personal identity and gender corresponds with their birth sex.)

As this episode of Human Cogs will reveal in raw and relatable ways, life is not an easy journey for those identifying as transgender.

The emotional and turbulent human experience is misunderstood, not often talked about, and for those living this reality, the LGBTQI+ spectrum shift is a complex identity scape for transgender people, and the people around them who need to adjust, accept and accommodate a significant relational step change with the person they love.   

This is a story of transition, despair, hope and self-reclamation from a truly extraordinary 18-year-old man, who can teach us all what it really means to live in your born skin - and be who you really are.

Guest: Sam Eade

Hosts: Sabina Read and Madeleine Grummet
Producer: Daryl Missen at Purple Wax

Human Cogs is available on Apple, Stitcher, Spotify, Google Podcasts or via our website.

Got some thoughts on today's episode you'd like to share?
Join in the convo at insta @human.cogs

Want to support our show? We will sprinkle you with loving kindness and all good things if you CLICK FOLLOW on Apple and Spotify! Or if you're really feeling it, please leave us a REVIEW.

Thanks for listening! 

Learn more and support the show: https://www.humancogs.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nic Newling had what you’d call a pretty normal, even idyllic, childhood. But life took a dark and terrible turn for him when he started to avoid situations and the people around him at the age of 15.

A top-performing scholarship student, Nic suddenly plummeted into mental illness and deep shame …. and things got a whole lot worse before they got better. 

In this episode of Human Cogs, hosts Sabina Read and Madeleine Grummet explore Nic’s story and journey into the darkness and horror of mental illness, and then out into the light again as he learns to live with himself, his complex mind, and navigate the ripple effects his illness has on his life and the people he loves. 

This is a remarkable story of one family’s survival in the face of unimaginable loss, and important listening for all of us, so we can better understand the lived human experience of mental illness.

Nic has featured on Australian Story (The Fault In Our Stars), The TODAY Show in New York, Huffington Post, the documentary 'Suicide: The Ripple Effect', and his mother's Human Rights Award winning memoir ‘Missing Christopher’. He is also an ambassador for Movember, Australia Day, R U OK? Day, and the Australian Mental Health Prize.

Nic now calls Sydney and New York home and has touched the lives of millions of people around the world as an in-demand keynote speaker and advocate for mental health, suicide prevention, and sharing our personal stories.

Guest: Nic Newling 
Websites: thechampions.org + nicnewling.com

Hosts: Sabina Read and Madeleine Grummet
Producer: Daryl Missen at Purple Wax

Human Cogs is available on Apple, Stitcher, Spotify, Google Podcasts or via our website.

Got some thoughts on today's episode you'd like to share?
Join in the convo at insta @human.cogs

Want to support our show? We will sprinkle you with loving kindness and all good things if you CLICK FOLLOW on Apple and Spotify! Or if you're really feeling it, please leave us a REVIEW.

Thanks for listening! 

Learn more and support the show: https://www.humancogs.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In the age of Trump and Putin, you’d be forgiven for thinking modern-day masculinity is broken. Too often, on the path from boy to man, there is a painful shift that makes many young men hide their real selves from the world.

In this episode of Human Cogs, hosts Sabina Read and Madeleine Grummet unpack masculinity with the extraordinarily bright and soulful Joel Lazar - Head of Operations at The Man Cave, a preventative mental health and emotional intelligence organisation for boys and young men. 

Joel spent a few years honing his craft in commercial law at one of Australia’s leading firms but became quickly disillusioned with law as an avenue to effect the change he deeply wanted to see in the world. 

So he took a leap and left the legal profession to find a way to bring his love for poetry, incisive problem solving, elements of his Jewish faith and views on what it means to be masculine to his current role giving young men the emotional and life skills they need, to grow up to be the men the world needs.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re in the right career for you, been stuck in a rut and feel empty because your work doesn’t reflect your values, if you're a parent or educator and you think masculinity needs a shake-up to reflect today’s world, then this is the episode for you.

Guest: Joel Lazar
Website: The Man Cave

Hosts: Sabina Read and Madeleine Grummet
Producer: Daryl Missen at Purple Wax

Human Cogs is available on Apple, Stitcher, Spotify, Google Podcasts or via our website.

Got some thoughts on today's episode you'd like to share?
Join in the convo at insta @human.cogs

Want to support our show? We will sprinkle you with loving kindness and all good things if you CLICK FOLLOW on Apple and Spotify! Or if you're really feeling it, please leave us a REVIEW.

Thanks for listening! 

Learn more and support the show: https://www.humancogs.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jason Ball is best known as a pioneering LGBTIQ advocate who after coming out in 2012 used his voice to launch a campaign to challenge homophobia in sport and drive cultural change within the AFL.

But this is not the whole story.

At the age of 12, Jason held his secret and shame so deeply that he thought suicide may be a better option than coming out. 

In this episode of Human Cogs, hosts Sabina Read and Madeleine Grummet go deep with Jason as he shares his powerful and sometimes agonising story of trying to be someone he wasn’t.

Jason also reflects on the challenges of growing up gay with no role models, all the while trying to find ways to fit in to the often toxic culture of masculinity in men’s elite sport.

If you’ve ever had the thought that being gay was acceptable for others, but not for you; or if you’ve ever believed you’ve been defined by one part of yourself, yet hanker to let the other parts shine, then join us for this episode of Human Cogs as we talk to Jason, who is not only one of the most compassionate humans you will every meet, but an inspiration to anyone trying to live authentically against both real and perceived hurdles that at times feel insurmountable. 

Guest: Jason Ball
Website: jasonball.com

Hosts: Sabina Read and Madeleine Grummet
Producer: Daryl Missen at Purple Wax

Human Cogs is available on Apple, Stitcher, Spotify, Google Podcasts or via our website.

Got some thoughts on today's episode you'd like to share?
Join in the convo at insta @human.cogs

Want to support our show? We will sprinkle you with loving kindness and all good things if you CLICK FOLLOW on Apple and Spotify! Or if you're really feeling it, please leave us a REVIEW.

Thanks for listening! 

Learn more and support the show: https://www.humancogs.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.