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4.80 stars

6:23

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

by The Irish Times

The weekly Ross o'Carroll-Kelly column in audio, read by Paul Howard.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episodes

‘There’s a video of me doing the rounds on this famous Tick Tocks dot com’

6m · Published 22 Apr 15:21

How quickly the years go by. That’s what I’m thinking as I’m taking the right turn at Donnybrook Bus Depot.

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‘You should be ashamed of yourselves! We’re old enough to be your parents and we’ve taken you to three sets!’

6m · Published 12 Apr 11:00

I had my nightmare again last night, the one where I have a one-night stand with Taylor Swift and then I ghost the girl and she ends up writing 15 or 16 songs about me and they’re on the radio constantly. And – yeah, no – I woke up screaming.

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‘If you play that match, Ross, our marriage is over’

6m · Published 08 Apr 12:22

Sorcha is upset. I totally get that? But I haven’t seen her over-react like this since I ate a tin of macadamias from the hotel mini-bor on a weekend city break in Ljubljana.

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‘You are not having a hort attack! I’m not allowing it!’

6m · Published 29 Mar 12:00

Réaltín smiles. Which might well be a first for her. Yeah, no, we’re in Baldoyle of all places, playing Thor Frimann and Lisa Murray – the reigning champions – in the semi-finals of the mixed doubles at the Leinster Padel Championships. It’s, like, one set apiece and we’re winning 5-4 in the third.

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‘I didn’t play football for Rathnew. I didn’t play football for anyone. I resent the allegation’

5m · Published 22 Mar 12:00

I tell Honor that I’m proud of her.

I’m there, “Obviously, I don’t mean that literally?” because all she’s actually done is spend her Paddy’s Day picking litter up off the beach in Curracloe as port of her community service. “I’m proud of the way you’re, like, owning what you did?”

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Three European Cups, three Six Nations, one Grand Slam – but never winning a Leinster Schools Senior Cup clearly still rankles Heaslip

5m · Published 15 Mar 12:00

I’m the first to arrive. I order a pint of the obvious and I do a quick circuit of the place. There’s no one here yet, even though I said eight o’clock and it’s quarter-past already. Fr Fehily wouldn’t have put up with that. What was it he used to say? Better three hours too early than a minute too late?

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‘Don’t tell me I don’t know Ross O’Carroll-Kelly. You bullied me for most of secondary school’

5m · Published 08 Mar 13:00

I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later.

“Ross?” the dude goes, pulling a face at me across the net. “Ross O’Carroll-Kelly?”

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‘I haven’t cheated on you in, like, 10 years, though – well, let’s just say a long time’

5m · Published 01 Mar 12:00

Sorcha asks me straight out if I’m having an affair.

I’m like, “Why would you even think that?”

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Honor rubs at the graffiti with a dainty, circular motion, like she’s applying foundation to the face of an elderly loved one

6m · Published 23 Feb 12:00

I haven’t seen Honor look this angry since the time she spear-tackled a woman who tried to cheat her out of first place in the sack race at the Castle Pork Dalkey Open Sports Day.

She’s like, “What ... the ... fock?”

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Sorcha goes, ‘I don’t need a 26-old copy of Cosmopolitan to tell me that I married the wrong man’

6m · Published 16 Feb 13:00

Sorcha says she’s sorry and I’m there, “Hey, it’s cool,” even though I’ve no idea what she’s even apologising for?

She goes, “Oh my God, I was such an idiot.”

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Ross O'Carroll-Kelly has 490 episodes in total of non- explicit content. Total playtime is 52:07:57. The language of the podcast is English. This podcast has been added on November 22nd 2022. It might contain more episodes than the ones shown here. It was last updated on April 26th, 2024 01:10.