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Comedy

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4.80 stars

6:23

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

by The Irish Times

The weekly Ross o'Carroll-Kelly column in audio, read by Paul Howard.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episodes

Honor is like, ‘There’s no chocolate Kimberleys left,’ and that’s when I end up suddenly losing my sh*t

6m · Published 22 Dec 12:00

It’s three days before the big day and Cornelscourt is like the Battle of the Bastards scene from Game of Thrones

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‘Oh my God, is this really all the books that we own as a family? I’m so ashamed’

7m · Published 15 Dec 13:53

Sorcha wants to make our own Christmas tree out of books this year. I think she’s been at the eggnog

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‘You need to look up the difference between mincemeat and minced meat. Merry focking Christmas’

7m · Published 08 Dec 12:00

We’re off to give my godson Ross Junior his Christmas present, but his old dear will already be in a fouler at the thought of me coming.

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‘I’ve never even cleaned up my own children’s vomit, I’m not mopping up after some randomer’

6m · Published 01 Dec 12:00

We’re doing the usual volunteering at the annual Christmas fete and this year we’ve been put on toilet-cleaning duties as a punishment

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‘Sneaking around behind my wife’s back is something I’m very, very good at, in fairness to me’

5m · Published 24 Nov 12:09

“If we do this,” she goes, “my husband can’t find out about it. Under any circumstances?”

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I wake up on Sunday morning thinking, am I having one of my famous erotic dreams?

6m · Published 17 Nov 11:34

Or is Sorcha standing at the end of the bed, wearing the Tory Burch tennis whites she bought last summer to watch Wimbledon?

She’s like, “Are you ready?”

“Ready?” I go. “In terms of?”

Read Ross O'Carroll-Kelly at irishtimes.com/podcasts/ross-ocarroll-kelly/.

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Sorcha is like me before every Ireland squad announcement – in other words, focking delusional

6m · Published 10 Nov 12:00

It’s the Killiney and Dalkey Combined Christmas Fete meeting, and we’re about as welcome as a snot-nosed kid in a bridal shop

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‘When I close my eyes at night, I can still see that bird’s horrible, leering face’

6m · Published 03 Nov 15:41

“Sur! Prise!” we all go.

But the old man – standing at the bottom of the stairs in Shanahan’s on the Green – barely raises a smile.

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‘Sorcha, I honestly don’t think we can just saunter in here like nothing has happened’

6m · Published 27 Oct 11:00

I’m there, “I have a bad feeling about this.”

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‘Ross, this is all your fault, you sniggering halfwit - that daughter of yours has been going wrong since the day she was born’

6m · Published 27 Oct 09:38

It’s a sad day. Everyone agrees. Not as sad – hand on hort – as Ireland losing to the All Blacks last weekend.

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Ross O'Carroll-Kelly has 493 episodes in total of non- explicit content. Total playtime is 52:27:26. The language of the podcast is English. This podcast has been added on November 22nd 2022. It might contain more episodes than the ones shown here. It was last updated on May 11th, 2024 22:10.