Frankly Speaking Life w/Coach D

At some point or other in your adult life, if you're honest, you may have found yourself in a situationship.  A situationship is defined as "a romantic or sexual relationship that is not considered to be formal or established."  Essentially, settling for less because your ego has you convinced it's all you're capable of and are worth having.  The ego is a sneaky thing and runs more of the show that we are aware of.

Situationships happen as a way to avoid a committed relationship and it's root cause lies in our childhood and adulthood traumas that have been given free reign in your life.  It's easier to give in to what another wants from us because we've been conditioned to believe that our wants, needs and desires are not valid.  THAT IS BULLSH*T!  You matter and your desires matter, however, require you working through all the murky waters below the surface to heal, grow, love yourself and learn how to be the love you desire to show up in life.

In this episode, I am beyond grateful to have relationship coach, Lisa Van Loo, founder of LVL it UP, engage in a candid discussion about situationships, the damage they really cause and learning the lessons they came to teach so you begin your journey to a more empowered, wholly healed woman.  Lisa & I are both proof of what can happen when you invest in committing to the inner work that transfers to every area of life.

You can find Lisa's information below to follow her on Instagram & Facebook, and peruse her website to gain more insight about the woman behind LVL it Up. 🤘🏽❤️✨

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LVL it UP by Lisa Van Loo https://www.lvlitup.com/links

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Every relationship we've had over the course of our life: familial, platonic & romantic, all served a purpose; even if you don't think so.  Every person we have encountered in life was not coincidental.  They came to serve as teachers to teach us valuable life lessons about ourselves for a reason, a season or a lifetime during all of life's colorful moments.  Thing is, we are quick to regret this person or that one; this situation or that one or the things we say and do individually, instead of looking for the lessons.  

When I made this mental shift from the victim mentality, "I can't believe this is happening to me, etc."  and began looking for the lessons, my perspective changed.  I owned my own stuff and found a peace that words cannot describe.  It all came from a shift that took making a decision in a moment to change and it is one of the best things I've ever done for my healing journey.

In this episode, I talk about the 3 levels of relationships we have in life as outlined in Marianne Williamson's book: A Return To Love, which are her reflections on A Course In Miracles.  Despite knowing that people come into our life or a reason, season or lifetime, it was refreshing to see it broken down and explained to help me further my healing journey; I've so not arrived yet.  

It's my hope that after listening, you will evaluate your relationships, past or present, for the lessons they came to teach you.  A better, more evolved version of yourself is waiting to emerge; yet, requires you to do the hard deep dive inward and open up to the sometimes uncomfortable lessons people came to teach you.🤘🏽❤️✨

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I don't know about you, but I heard this saying ALL the time growing up.  Now that I'm older, it makes full sense.  The way you treat others really does determine how they treat you.  You can change someone's funky behavior towards you just by focusing on yourself and changing the way you treat others.  The Golden Rule: Treat others as you would have them treat you, is my rule of thumb.  

In this episode, I share a passage from my currently nightly reading, A Course In Miracles, and tell you why it had me in tears.  I hope this episode makes you think about how you speak to your spouse, significant other, children, family and friends and intentionally focus on your behavior to modify it so you're not spewing toxic words that can never be taken back.  You do know that words hurt more than physical abuse and never go away?l🤘🏽❤️✨

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https://worththewar.com/worththewar-links/

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This interview has me on a high still.  Kimmie is the founder of Worth The War.  Her focus is building community to provide resources for those on their quest to reprogramming their perspective on love and help them prepare their children for how to love from a healthy place for generations to come.  You can find her on Instagram (link below) and I urge you to follow her.  Her view on love and how to navigate the space is raw and cuts to the heart of the matter.

Healthy love is something I had to learn and reprogram my narrative about it.  As children, we learn from our parents who are our first teachers and they learned from their parents and so forth and so on. They could only teach what they knew and now that times have changed, we no longer have to live under the programming of what our parents' love lives were.  They didn't know what they didn't know and we cannot fault the for it.  If you've a nagging feeling inside that your love experiences haven't been serving you and/or are panicking from a place of fear, that your time is running out, this episode will share all the reasons why settling for love is detrimental to your mental and emotional health.

Love doesn't have to be this murky water we begrudgingly approach with disdain.  Love can be an amazing experience provided you navigate it from a place of love within you that is a byproduct of exercising self love.  From this vantage point, you can intentionally choose to heal those trauma wounds within yourself before embarking on the search for love in another.  You attract what you are.  Choose to heal your broken pieces so you can win the war of love because it's really worth the war.🤘🏽❤️✨

Connect with me http://messenger.com/t/denisefrank

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Follow Kimmie, Founder of Worth The War https://www.instagram.com/worththewar  

https://worththewar.com/worththewar-links/

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Not sure who started the whole, "We match energy" movement, however, I'm here to tell you that mindset is toxic.  Why exhibit the same behaviors you don't like in others' treatment of you?  It doesn't make sense to me.  Let's instead, meet people where they are, view them through the heart's eyes to really see them...their experiences, behavior, thoughts, etc.  All of the things that contribute to how they treat you.  Then, usher in the Golden Rule: Treat others as you'd have them treat you.  From this vantage point, you can then show others unconditional love despite their behavior and remove any expectations you have of them. I hope this episode challenges to shift your perspective of how you relate to and interact with others.  We sometimes cause our own pain because of the projections we place on others vs. choosing to view them differently.🤘🏽❤️✨

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You've heard the saying, "Comparison is the thief of joy," and I want to push that a bit further.  Comparison is the ego's way of separating us from the people, places and things that can challenge you to grow beyond your limited beliefs.  We are are innately the same and have the same needs.  Our differences are all that separate us as individuals.  Separateness is a way to keep you stuck in the past and dwelling on past experiences.  YOU can move beyond the shadows and closer to the things that set your soul on fire.  It's up to you to take that risk and start moving forward.  I hope this episode challenges you to plan (dream audaciously), do (move towards your goals and dreams, believing you deserve them and do the uncomfortable things to realize them) and review (What worked and didn't'?  What can you do differently?)🤘🏽❤️✨

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Many adults find themselves paralyzed by that voice inside that holds them hostage in their past experiences.  That inner critic (the ego) has one purpose and that's to keep you paralyzed in fear of the unknown.  To keep you in the dark and separated from anything relative to light: love, happiness, peace and joy.  As with all things, you get to decide to check the ego, reflect on where you've been, learn the lessons, heal from all the mental and emotional baggage you've been lugging around and grow into the light of life.  I hope this episode sends you to a thinking space where you can be transparent and real with yourself about all of the things in your current reality (an illusion) that have been running amuck and contributing to the inner chaos you've been hanging out it.  Remember, YOU get to decide how this life journey plays out and the amazing adventures and discoveries awaiting you on the other side of your egoic fear.  It's my hope that you open up to taking some risks that can land you right where you were meant to be.🤘🏽❤️✨

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We all remember Will Smith's face when listening to his wife describing her affair with August Alsina.  So many judged Will, Jada and their relationship based on what they assumed to know.  Entanglements cause psychological and emotional damage to all parties.  Will was left a mockery among men, August a mental case and Jada, the woman who broke two men down.  There are levels to this and unless you know the backstory of each person involved, you will never fully understand why people do the things they do.  I hope this episode challenges you to examine your own relationship and fix what's broken before one or both of you explores outside options.  It is ultimately up to each person to shoulder their weight in any relationship and come to a mutual agreement about the boundaries in the relationship and create a safe space for the relationship to bloom and grow in healthy soil. 🤘🏽❤️✨

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The industry of network marketing has introduced me to people I'd never have met otherwise.  People, no different thank I, who had a desire to help others feel better and become better versions of themselves for them and those they love.  It was such an honor to interview Randy.  His story will never get old.  A 32 year firefighter veteran who is a walking testament to the power of the human spirit to overcome many of life's insurmountable challenges with regard to health.  If his body could tell the real story is all I can say.  He so doesn't look like the life he's lived as at firefighter.  It's my sincere hope that this episode sends you to a place of gratitude and also to be honest about your health and how you're treating the only body you'll have in this lifetime.🤘🏽❤️✨

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Hope this episode challenges you to explore your feelings surrounding the 'meh,' 'blah,' and funks you find yourself in.  Feeling good is a strategy and means that even in those humdrum moments, we have to make a decision to assess why you feel the way you do and what needs to change so you don't get stuck there.  Our feeling determine the words we speak and those words cast spells over your life and the lives of others.  CHOOSE not to stay in those low vibrational feelings.🤘🏽❤️✨

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We all have those days we wake up in a blah kind of mood and I'm no exception to this; however, I've learned how to navigate this space so it doesn't consume you.  How do you navigate those 'meh' days?