Rosemary’s Ladies: A Horror Movie & Bad Movie Review Podcast

Week 2 of “You’ve been Shyamalan Twisted Month!” brings us to The Last Airbender. Unfortunately, the only twist is that this movie has really no redeeming qualities. Jen is angry she didn’t get to see an agni kai, Molly is befuddled by the dialogue, and both agree that Appa and all of the bending looks terrible. We are also glad that no sequels were made for this awful, awful movie. Rate and review or we’ll send Zuko after you, to restore his honor.

Stats/info: 2010, directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Starring Noah Ringer, Dev Patel, Nicola Peltz, Jackson Rathbone.

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Welcome to “You’ve been Shyamalan Twisted Month!” We kick off this new theme by watching 2008’s, “The Happening” and jeepers is it Garbage with a capital “G.” Molly thought she was definitely being punked by M. Night but found out this was all serious business. Join us as we discuss Jen’s wasp problem, how tiramisu isn’t sexy, and what happens when plants and wind team up to take Manhattan. Be sure to rate and subscribe otherwise we’ll send whistlin’ wind after you.

Stats/info: 2008, directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Starring Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo, and Ashlyn Sanchez

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Wow, was this a stinker. For the final week of Paranormal Sh*t month, we watch The Haunting (it’s a real Jack and the Beanstalk scenario), and all we can say is...at least it wasn’t as boring as The Grudge? We discuss floating curtain budgets, payphone calls by 3 kids in a trenchcoat, and how this movie was definitely filmed out of order. Remember to rate and review or we’ll send flowing drapes after you.

Stats/info: 1999, directed by Jan de Bont. Starring Liam Neeson, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Owen Wilson, and Lili Taylor.

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Whoever suggested we watch this movie...you’re getting glitter in the mail. Week 3 of paranormal sh*t week had us watching 2020’s, “The Grudge” and all we can say is NEGATIVE DORITO RATING. That is a new low for Rosemary’s Ladies, ya’ll. Join us as we discuss the OG (original grudge), cops who don’t do cop work, timeline pop quizzes, and Chekov’s countdown. Be sure to rate and subscribe or you’ll have to pay Jen $6 for watching this movie.

Stats/info: 2020, directed by Nicolas Pesce, starring Andrea Riseborough, John Cho, Lin Shaye, Betty Gilpin, Demain Bichir, Jacki Weaver, William Sadler, and Frankie Faison

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We head into week 2 with Hellraiser, a movie Jen had previously referred to as (paraphrasing) “more erotic than Event Horizon”. Well. This movie is not as erotic as Jen remembers, so we try to make it a little more sexy. Also, we hate this movie. There is way too much fluid, everyone is gooey, and people are - let’s just say the word - MOIST. Join us in discussing Pinhead’s attractiveness, mustard eyeshadow, and finger sucking. Remember to rate and review (and try not to throw up when watching this movie), or we’ll send some meat hooks after you.

Stats/info: 1987, written and directed by Clive Barker, starring Andrew Robinson, Clare Higgins, Ashley Laurence.

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New month, new theme! July is all about paranormal...activity. See what we did there? We start out the month by returning to Jen’s favorite (jkjk she hates this series) horror series, 2011’s, “Paranormal Activity 3!” Join us as we discuss Demon’s choosing human names, devils office hours, and the funding (or lack thereof) of education in both the Demon world and our own. Be sure to rate and subscribe otherwise we’ll send a grandma cult after you.

Stats/info: 2011 directed by Ariel Shulman and Henry Joost, starring Lauren Bittner, Christopher Nicholas Smith, Chloe Csenergy, Jessica Tyler Brown

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We’re blowing right past Halloween and Halloween II, for the real crown jewel - Halloween III: Season of the Witch. This movie doesn’t have Michael Myers, but never fear, it has Stonehenge, robots, microchips, witches, and snakes. We talk factory mismanagement, bizarre character names, and how we don’t watch horror movies for the romance. Rate and review or we’ll turn you into a goo-filled robot.

Stats/info: 1982, directed by Tommy Lee Wallace, starring Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin, Dan O'Herlihy

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*air horn noises* it’s our hundredth episode, whattttttt?! We decided to celebrate this milestone by returning to the world of FK. What we failed to remember about the second movie in this franchise is FK is barely in it and we definitely missed all the quips and campy deaths that accompany Mr. Krueger. Join use as we discuss Freddy’s gearhead passtime, how Freddy can insert himself into the dreams of birds, and the world’s greatest 80’s cleaning montage. Be sure to rate and subscribe otherwise you could find yourself on a school bus to helllllll.

Stats/info: 1985, directed by Jack Sholder, starring Robert Englund, Mark Patton, Kim Myers, and Robert Rusler

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This week we watched Friday the 13th part deux, and were not impressed. Now, we only have one question for you. If someone dropped you off in the middle of the woods for 25 years, would you be able to use a phone? Jen thinks not. We also talk Jason’s taxidermy business, the 4 R’s, and bladder betrayal. Rate and review or we’ll scare you and your camp counselors.

Stats/info: 1981, directed by Steve Miner, starring Amy Steel, John Furey, Adrienne King, Betsy Palmer, and Walt Gorney.

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The listeners spoke so we listened. The last episode of our inanimate object month was chosen by you the listeners! We watched 1983's “Christine” and it was pretty dang good. Join us as we discuss 40 year old bullies, what a sh*tter is , and Molly & Jen’s eye prescriptions. Can you blame this car for being spicy? We sure can’t. Be sure to rate and subscribe otherwise you’ll find yourself being chased down by a cognizant car out for blood.

Stats/info: 1983, directed by John Carpenter, starring Keith Gordon, Alexandra Paul, and John Stockwell

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