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Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast

by Shawna Warner

Helping parents empower their teenage daughters to build confidence, integrity and resilience for all of life's adventures.

Copyright: © 2024 Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast

Episodes

Ep - 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughter’s Confidence

8m · Published 13 Apr 07:00

Hey parents,

Is your teenage daughter a hard worker who gets frustrated and feels defeated when things don’t go her way?

If mind management sounds like some type of voo-doo, though you see your daughter repeating the same behaviors over and over, but expects a different result, this podcast is for her.

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast where you can find the full show notes on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com

Today’s episode is inspired by an incredibly ambitious, bright, and determined past client who knew exactly what she wanted.

But there was just one ‘key element’ missing.

And no matter how hard she tried, she continued to find herself back where she started.

But let’s not be too hard on her because the key element that kept her stuck isn’t a core competency you learn in school.  

And standardized testing dismisses it, too. 

However, this element definitely has an impact on your daughter’s performance.

So today we’re going to introduce the 6 most common thinking errors that may wreck your daughter’s confidence.

And, how to break free with 2 Strategies that work.

Let’s start with the 6 thinking errors the teenage girls in my private coaching practice say are the hardest to handle.

1.) Believing it’s always “All or Nothing”

All or nothing sounds like:

I’m never the one who gets picked to lead the project

2.) “Catastrophizing” her situations

Catastrophizing sounds like:

This is so stressful because if I don’t say the right thing, everyone’s going to think I’m weird

3.) “Shoulding” all over herself

Shoulding sounds like:

I should eat lunch with those girls because if I don’t, they’ll think I’m rude 

Get information about the additional thought errors that wreck your daughter's confidence and 2 Strategies that Work on my website Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast

Because if you take anything away from our conversation today, it’s that developing strong sense of self is one of the greatest gifts your daughter can give herself.

And developing a strong sense of self begins with observing your thinking habits and patterns and the effect they have on your behavior, choices, relationships and mood.

Podcast Resources: Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast

90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program

Ep – 24 How to Help Your Teenage Daughter Develop What Really Matters

Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?

The Teenage Brain and COVID. Telling Stories Might Help | Dr. Sarah Mckay | March 25, 2021

Ep 27 3 Insights Every Teenage Girls Needs to Ace Tricky Social Situations

7m · Published 06 Apr 21:00

Hey Parents,

Does your teenage daughter feel like she has to choose between being liked or being respected?

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast where we’re going to offer a “Short, Sweet and Spot On” episode, as listener Me and Xoxo, shared in a recent iTunes podcast review.

Thank you, Me and Xoxo, for taking the time to share your thoughts and for being part of the Cultivating Resilient Teens community!

Okay, let’s get to it, because I want to clear up the myth that your daughter has to choose between being liked or respected.

One of my clients shared that a ‘Who are You?’ style check list has been going around social media.

The list had multiple boxes where you check off things you’ve done or that apply to you personally.

And although it didn’t seem like that big of a deal at first, my client not only felt like she was pigeon-holing herself into a misconstrued persona, but there was a whole lot of judgment coming out of this seemingly harmless activity.

My client understood that she had the choice to participate or pass, but she said the social pressure felt really intense. 

And one of her friends teased her by saying … “Just fill it out, I mean, what do you have to hide?

Ah, I’m here to tell you, these tricky social situations aren’t easy to navigate for teenage girls.

What You Can Do Instead

As we talked about in last week’s podcast Ep – 26 How to Support Your Daughter When Her Friendships Are Falling Apart

Your daughter’s style of communication matters:

  • ·         how she talks to and about herself 
  • ·         and how she talks to and about her friends

And, if your daughter’s put in a situation where she feels pressured to share personal information that that seems intrusive and downright uncomfortable, we want to equip her with the tools that’ll help her stay confident, in her integrity, and strengthen her resilience.

3 Insights to Ace Tricky Social Situations

In order to prevent or de-escalate the drama that comes from tricky social situations, we’re going to share 3 Insights that will help your daughter tap into her personal power.

Because even though the “What do you have to hide?” situation seemed playful, my client didn’t want to pigeonhole herself into a certain persona or share information she considered personal.

  1.  Feeling liked and respected is an inside job.
  2.  Learning to say what you mean and mean what you say in a clear, respectful and assertive manner will keep your daughter out of unnecessary drama.
  3. Who your daughter wants to be, desires to become, and what she wants to share with the world is her choice, period. 

Yes, learning how to design healthy social scenarios is perhaps one of the most important rites-of-passage your daughter will encounter over the next few years.

So, equipping her with effective navigation skills are worth her time and effort. 

Full Show Notes and Podcast Resources can be found at, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/

Ep – 26 How to Support Your Daughter When Her Friendships Are Falling Apart
How to Raise a Socially Intelligent and Resilient Teenager 5 Simple Questions That Will Set Your Teenager Up for Success

Ep 27 3 Insights Every Teenage Girls Needs to Ace Tricky Social Situations

7m · Published 06 Apr 21:00

Hey Parents,

Does your teenage daughter feel like she has to choose between being liked or being respected?

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast where we’re going to offer a “Short, Sweet and Spot On” episode, as listener Me and Xoxo, shared in a recent iTunes podcast review.

Thank you, Me and Xoxo, for taking the time to share your thoughts and for being part of the Cultivating Resilient Teens community!

Okay, let’s get to it, because I want to clear up the myth that your daughter has to choose between being liked or respected.

One of my clients shared that a ‘Who are You?’ style check list has been going around social media.

The list had multiple boxes where you check off things you’ve done or that apply to you personally.

And although it didn’t seem like that big of a deal at first, my client not only felt like she was pigeon-holing herself into a misconstrued persona, but there was a whole lot of judgment coming out of this seemingly harmless activity.

My client understood that she had the choice to participate or pass, but she said the social pressure felt really intense. 

And one of her friends teased her by saying … “Just fill it out, I mean, what do you have to hide?

Ah, I’m here to tell you, these tricky social situations aren’t easy to navigate for teenage girls.

What You Can Do Instead

As we talked about in last week’s podcast Ep – 26 How to Support Your Daughter When Her Friendships Are Falling Apart

Your daughter’s style of communication matters:

  • ·         how she talks to and about herself 
  • ·         and how she talks to and about her friends

And, if your daughter’s put in a situation where she feels pressured to share personal information that that seems intrusive and downright uncomfortable, we want to equip her with the tools that’ll help her stay confident, in her integrity, and strengthen her resilience.

3 Insights to Ace Tricky Social Situations

In order to prevent or de-escalate the drama that comes from tricky social situations, we’re going to share 3 Insights that will help your daughter tap into her personal power.

Because even though the “What do you have to hide?” situation seemed playful, my client didn’t want to pigeonhole herself into a certain persona or share information she considered personal.

  1.  Feeling liked and respected is an inside job.
  2.  Learning to say what you mean and mean what you say in a clear, respectful and assertive manner will keep your daughter out of unnecessary drama.
  3. Who your daughter wants to be, desires to become, and what she wants to share with the world is her choice, period. 

Yes, learning how to design healthy social scenarios is perhaps one of the most important rites-of-passage your daughter will encounter over the next few years.

So, equipping her with effective navigation skills are worth her time and effort. 

Full Show Notes and Podcast Resources can be found at, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/

Ep – 26 How to Support Your Daughter When Her Friendships Are Falling Apart
How to Raise a Socially Intelligent and Resilient Teenager 5 Simple Questions That Will Set Your Teenager Up for Success

Ep - 26 How to Support Your Daughter When Her Friendships are Falling Apart

9m · Published 30 Mar 20:00

Hey Parents, is friendship drama causing major emotional distress for your teenage daughter?

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast where we’ve talked a lot about how teenage girls are passionate problem solvers. But, as you know, there’s another side to the coin. So, we’re going to bravely and compassionately explore what the other side looks and feels like because if your daughter feels emotionally wounded or is utterly confused and in tears by her friend’s behavior, we want to help you through this.

It’s not unusual for my clients to talk about increased friend drama this time of year, as Springtime seems to invite a sense of newness, adventure and increased opportunities to socialize outside of school and home. 

Key Resources

Tricky social situations often cause teenage girls to be really hard on themselves, so in podcast Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarioswe tackle a topic that’s sometimes overwhelming and painful for teenage girls – how to build authentic, fun and healthy friendships. 

Because as Dr. Christine Carter shares in her book, The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction, “Connection is the most important predictor of happiness that we have. It’s the most consistent finding that we have in a hundred or so years of research. Our overall wellbeing is predicted by both the breadth and depth of our real-life connections.”

A Better Way

And, because it’s important for me to be transparent AND remind you that tough, humble situations can also offer deep personal opportunities to grow – when you’re ready – I want to share a quick story with you. Once upon a time I was asked to talk to a group of teens about the importance of creating a more cohesive group environment because, as Dr. Carter’s research shows, authentic connections help everyone thrive.  But I mistakenly assumed that because the coaches desired a more cohesive environment, the athletes did too.  Needless to say, it didn’t matter how well constructed my message was, there were two key ingredients missing: 1.    Readiness 2.    Trust 

So, before you guide your daughter through the tumultuous teen-girl-friendship-waters, pause and ask yourself ...

Find the FULL podcast Show Notes on my website cultivatingresilientteens.com and give your daughter the support she needs to navigate these rough waters.

Podcast Resources:Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarios Dr. Christine Carter shares in her book, The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?Quote:  “These times can define us, diminish us, or develop us.” | Jim Kwik | Author of Limitless: Upgrade Your Brain, Learn Anything Faster, and Unlock Your Exceptional Life | Founder and CEO of Kwik Learning Quote: Assertive communication  Book: Fighting Invisible Tigers: A Stress Management Guide for Teens | Author Earl Hipp 

Ep - 26 How to Support Your Daughter When Her Friendships are Falling Apart

9m · Published 30 Mar 20:00

Hey Parents, is friendship drama causing major emotional distress for your teenage daughter?

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast where we’ve talked a lot about how teenage girls are passionate problem solvers. But, as you know, there’s another side to the coin. So, we’re going to bravely and compassionately explore what the other side looks and feels like because if your daughter feels emotionally wounded or is utterly confused and in tears by her friend’s behavior, we want to help you through this.

It’s not unusual for my clients to talk about increased friend drama this time of year, as Springtime seems to invite a sense of newness, adventure and increased opportunities to socialize outside of school and home. 

Key Resources

Tricky social situations often cause teenage girls to be really hard on themselves, so in podcast Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarioswe tackle a topic that’s sometimes overwhelming and painful for teenage girls – how to build authentic, fun and healthy friendships. 

Because as Dr. Christine Carter shares in her book, The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction, “Connection is the most important predictor of happiness that we have. It’s the most consistent finding that we have in a hundred or so years of research. Our overall wellbeing is predicted by both the breadth and depth of our real-life connections.”

A Better Way

And, because it’s important for me to be transparent AND remind you that tough, humble situations can also offer deep personal opportunities to grow – when you’re ready – I want to share a quick story with you. Once upon a time I was asked to talk to a group of teens about the importance of creating a more cohesive group environment because, as Dr. Carter’s research shows, authentic connections help everyone thrive.  But I mistakenly assumed that because the coaches desired a more cohesive environment, the athletes did too.  Needless to say, it didn’t matter how well constructed my message was, there were two key ingredients missing: 1.    Readiness 2.    Trust 

So, before you guide your daughter through the tumultuous teen-girl-friendship-waters, pause and ask yourself ...

Find the FULL podcast Show Notes on my website cultivatingresilientteens.com and give your daughter the support she needs to navigate these rough waters.

Podcast Resources:Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarios Dr. Christine Carter shares in her book, The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?Quote:  “These times can define us, diminish us, or develop us.” | Jim Kwik | Author of Limitless: Upgrade Your Brain, Learn Anything Faster, and Unlock Your Exceptional Life | Founder and CEO of Kwik Learning Quote: Assertive communication  Book: Fighting Invisible Tigers: A Stress Management Guide for Teens | Author Earl Hipp 

Ep - 25 4 Powerful Ways Your Teenage Daughter Can Help a Friend Who’s Struggling

7m · Published 16 Mar 10:00

Hey parents,

Is your daughter – or someone she knows – struggling right now? 

As a parent it can be hard to know when to step in and when to step back.

But, staying silent may send the wrong message.

So, what can you do when in those tricky moments when you’re just not sure?

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast where we’re going to share 4 Powerful Ways Your Teenage Daughter Can Help a Friend Who’s Struggling, because quite honestly, it’s not always easy or clear to know what to do or say.

Especially because we’re all still weary from doing our best to get through the pandemic, that, as “one 16-year-old said of the generation’s pivotal moment: “Making history is way overrated.”

According to a recent article in The New York Times, over five thousand young people wrote in to describe how the pandemic affected their lives and the collective sentiment was, well, consistent with what I saw in my private coaching practice.

The Times states, “Being a teenager in the U.S. during the pandemic was lonely, disorienting, depressing and suffocating.”

So, if your daughter or someone she knows is struggling, she’s not alone.

And, although we’re making progress, we’re not out of the woods just yet.

Healthy Relationships 

As we’ve talked about before, one of the beautiful qualities of teenage girls is, they are passionate about helping each other.

The hard part is, sometimes, healthy boundaries get blurred in the process.

When your daughter’s talking with a friend who’s struggling, she may:

·         Feel like she needs to “fix” her friend’s tough situation

·         Take on her friend’s stress because she believes that makes her a better friend

·         Struggle with her own thoughts and emotions about what’s happening

·         Indulge in or catastrophize the situation and create a mountain out of molehill

But, what’s most important for your daughter to understand is that healthy relationships are built on honesty, trust and being vulnerable together - NOT by taking on her friends’ problems OR feeling responsible for a solution. 

Be on the Lookout

If you notice a significant change in your daughter’s mood or appearance after she interacts with a friend who’s having trouble, it’s okay to recognize her effort and express your concern for your daughter’s well-being.

You may say something like, “I admire your effort to be a good friend to Ella, though, I’m concerned about your well-being and how hard you may be taking this. Please let me know if YOU need someone to talk to.”

Get the 4 Powerful Ways your daughter can help her friend and all of today's resources in the Show Notes on my website,  cultivatingresilientteens.com.

Podcast Resources:

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/14/briefing/one-year-in-a-pandemic.html?auth=linked-google

One Year in a Pandemic: Your Weekend Briefing | A special edition looking at a yar of living with disruption and pain | By Remy Tumin and Jeremiah M. Bogert, Jr. | March 14, 2021

Ep – 24 How to Help Your Teenage Daughter Develop What Really Matters 

Ep - 25 4 Powerful Ways Your Teenage Daughter Can Help a Friend Who’s Struggling

7m · Published 16 Mar 10:00

Hey parents,

Is your daughter – or someone she knows – struggling right now? 

As a parent it can be hard to know when to step in and when to step back.

But, staying silent may send the wrong message.

So, what can you do when in those tricky moments when you’re just not sure?

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast where we’re going to share 4 Powerful Ways Your Teenage Daughter Can Help a Friend Who’s Struggling, because quite honestly, it’s not always easy or clear to know what to do or say.

Especially because we’re all still weary from doing our best to get through the pandemic, that, as “one 16-year-old said of the generation’s pivotal moment: “Making history is way overrated.”

According to a recent article in The New York Times, over five thousand young people wrote in to describe how the pandemic affected their lives and the collective sentiment was, well, consistent with what I saw in my private coaching practice.

The Times states, “Being a teenager in the U.S. during the pandemic was lonely, disorienting, depressing and suffocating.”

So, if your daughter or someone she knows is struggling, she’s not alone.

And, although we’re making progress, we’re not out of the woods just yet.

Healthy Relationships 

As we’ve talked about before, one of the beautiful qualities of teenage girls is, they are passionate about helping each other.

The hard part is, sometimes, healthy boundaries get blurred in the process.

When your daughter’s talking with a friend who’s struggling, she may:

·         Feel like she needs to “fix” her friend’s tough situation

·         Take on her friend’s stress because she believes that makes her a better friend

·         Struggle with her own thoughts and emotions about what’s happening

·         Indulge in or catastrophize the situation and create a mountain out of molehill

But, what’s most important for your daughter to understand is that healthy relationships are built on honesty, trust and being vulnerable together - NOT by taking on her friends’ problems OR feeling responsible for a solution. 

Be on the Lookout

If you notice a significant change in your daughter’s mood or appearance after she interacts with a friend who’s having trouble, it’s okay to recognize her effort and express your concern for your daughter’s well-being.

You may say something like, “I admire your effort to be a good friend to Ella, though, I’m concerned about your well-being and how hard you may be taking this. Please let me know if YOU need someone to talk to.”

Get the 4 Powerful Ways your daughter can help her friend and all of today's resources in the Show Notes on my website,  cultivatingresilientteens.com.

Podcast Resources:

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/14/briefing/one-year-in-a-pandemic.html?auth=linked-google

One Year in a Pandemic: Your Weekend Briefing | A special edition looking at a yar of living with disruption and pain | By Remy Tumin and Jeremiah M. Bogert, Jr. | March 14, 2021

Ep – 24 How to Help Your Teenage Daughter Develop What Really Matters 

Ep - 24 How to Help Your Teenage Daughter Develop What Really Matters

7m · Published 09 Mar 08:00

Hey Parents,

What do the happiest teens have in common?

We all have defining moments in life when we stop and think - seriously, what’s this all about?

So, picture this … a line of 6th graders nervously perched in the front of the classroom. 

It’s time for the annual Spelling Bee.

My name was called first.

I gasped.

The rest is a blur, well, except for laughter echoing around me.

Which is why Jim Kwik, is one of my favorite resources because he reminds us, “These times can define us, diminish us, or develop us.”

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast, episode #24.

Where we’re excited to give your daughter what she needs to develop her confidence, integrity and resilience for all of life’s adventures, rather than feeling defined or diminished by the all the social influences, inequalities, and labels (ug, the labels!).

In my private coaching practice, where I work with teenage girls from 12 years to twenty something, all over the US – there’s definitely pattern. 

Maybe you’re seeing this pattern too?

It begins around the fifth grade; you see your daughter’s environment begin to infiltrate her sense of self and limit her potential. 

The Power of Words

If you think about it like this … when your daughter hears things like:

·         “She deserved it” 

·         “You’re so basic”

·         “Omg, that was an epic failure”

It’s not easy to stand tall and design healthy social scenarios where she can thrive.

Often times a concept referred to as Confirmation Bias sneaks in and offers evidence, albeit biased and irrational, to support any negative, self-defeating thoughts.

And then, without really knowing – and maybe even without her consent – these thoughts become your daughters’ beliefs.

A Better Way

So, I ask you, if your daughter knew how to take life’s defining moments and allow them to develop her confidence and resilience and heighten her integrity … would she be up for it?

If you’re listening every week, you’re probably familiar with my Signature Coaching Program, 90 Days to a More Resilient Teen, where we tap into the four steps to cultivate a resilient teen.

One of the most important steps for teenage girls is developing a strong sense of self.

So if you’re a new listener, you may want to take a minute and grab the 3-2-1 Method in Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?

For access to the FULL Show Notes, please visit my  website, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/ 

You'll be glad you did, because when your daughter’s mind is clear, developing a strong sense of self is easy. 

And when it feels easy, it flows.

And when it flows, it feels good.

And when it feels good – it sticks.

Focusing on what’s most important and then taking inspired action will stick.

And that’s how you empower your teenage daughter to build confidence, integrity and resilient for all of life’s adventures. 

Until next week, remember, every experience you have is perfect for your growth.

Podcast Resources:

Book: Limitless; Upgrade Your Brain, Learn Anything Faster, and Unlock Your Exceptional Life | Author Jim Kwik | Founder and CEO of Kwik Learning 

Ep - 24 How to Help Your Teenage Daughter Develop What Really Matters

7m · Published 09 Mar 08:00

Hey Parents,

What do the happiest teens have in common?

We all have defining moments in life when we stop and think - seriously, what’s this all about?

So, picture this … a line of 6th graders nervously perched in the front of the classroom. 

It’s time for the annual Spelling Bee.

My name was called first.

I gasped.

The rest is a blur, well, except for laughter echoing around me.

Which is why Jim Kwik, is one of my favorite resources because he reminds us, “These times can define us, diminish us, or develop us.”

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast, episode #24.

Where we’re excited to give your daughter what she needs to develop her confidence, integrity and resilience for all of life’s adventures, rather than feeling defined or diminished by the all the social influences, inequalities, and labels (ug, the labels!).

In my private coaching practice, where I work with teenage girls from 12 years to twenty something, all over the US – there’s definitely pattern. 

Maybe you’re seeing this pattern too?

It begins around the fifth grade; you see your daughter’s environment begin to infiltrate her sense of self and limit her potential. 

The Power of Words

If you think about it like this … when your daughter hears things like:

·         “She deserved it” 

·         “You’re so basic”

·         “Omg, that was an epic failure”

It’s not easy to stand tall and design healthy social scenarios where she can thrive.

Often times a concept referred to as Confirmation Bias sneaks in and offers evidence, albeit biased and irrational, to support any negative, self-defeating thoughts.

And then, without really knowing – and maybe even without her consent – these thoughts become your daughters’ beliefs.

A Better Way

So, I ask you, if your daughter knew how to take life’s defining moments and allow them to develop her confidence and resilience and heighten her integrity … would she be up for it?

If you’re listening every week, you’re probably familiar with my Signature Coaching Program, 90 Days to a More Resilient Teen, where we tap into the four steps to cultivate a resilient teen.

One of the most important steps for teenage girls is developing a strong sense of self.

So if you’re a new listener, you may want to take a minute and grab the 3-2-1 Method in Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?

For access to the FULL Show Notes, please visit my  website, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/ 

You'll be glad you did, because when your daughter’s mind is clear, developing a strong sense of self is easy. 

And when it feels easy, it flows.

And when it flows, it feels good.

And when it feels good – it sticks.

Focusing on what’s most important and then taking inspired action will stick.

And that’s how you empower your teenage daughter to build confidence, integrity and resilient for all of life’s adventures. 

Until next week, remember, every experience you have is perfect for your growth.

Podcast Resources:

Book: Limitless; Upgrade Your Brain, Learn Anything Faster, and Unlock Your Exceptional Life | Author Jim Kwik | Founder and CEO of Kwik Learning 

Ep – 23 Your Teen Daughter’s Toughest Social Challenge – Her Frenemy!

7m · Published 23 Feb 08:00

Hey Parents,

Are you sometimes bewildered by your daughter’s friendships?

This might be a little TMI, but as a sensitive teenage girl learning how to navigate the complexities of the teen girl social network, I discovered pretty quickly that there were certain people I wasn’t gonna let see ME sweat.

Because being vulnerable was considered a weakness. 

But it turns out, that keeping certain things securely under lock and key weren’t quite as easy as I’d hoped.  

So, I ask you, what happens when your daughter’s toughest social challenge, her frenemy, is part of her tribe?

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast episode #23.

Where we’re going to talk about two social pitfalls your daughter will want to avoid and the one simple skill that’ll keep her socially strong and steady. 

The Frenemy

First, let’s touch on what a frenemy is and what it looks like for teenage girls.

A ‘frenemy’ is defined as “a person that is friendly toward another because the relationship brings benefits, but harbors feelings of resentment or rivalry.” (Dictionary.com)

Does this sound familiar to you? 

If it doesn’t, BUT, you see your daughter always trying to “fix” her social situations, you may want to share a popular article from my website, Cultivating Resilient Teens, titled, 4 Powerful Ways Your Teenage Daughter Can Help A Friend Who’s Struggling

Because although teenage girls are passionate about helping each other, sometimes, even with the best intentions, helpful approaches can backfire. 

If you’re wondering …is my daughter experiencing a frenemy-like relationship, here are two examples that’ll help make sense of the frenemy dynamic.

1.   The frenemy is super nice when she wants to impress others, or the members in her tribe, because of the “perceived” social benefits. 

2.   But one-on-one or in a small group setting where there aren’t any “perceived” social benefits, the frenemy is often manipulative, overly critical, and sometimes downright verbally unkind.

The hard part is this behavior is often the result of resentment or rivalry.

The good news is, if you pull back the layers of resentment and rivalry, the emotions are there to help you learn and grow.

That’s why we offer 3 Actionable Solutions to stop feeling jealous and create what you really want in Podcast Episode #21.

Because for passionate, connection seeking teens, this is tough stuff. 

Find the full Show Notes on my website, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/

Although the teen girl world is complex, can be really confusing and sometimes get ugly, please remember there’s always an opportunity for your daughter to learn and grow by tuning in to her thoughts with compassion. 

Podcast Resources:

4 Powerful Ways Your Teenage Daughter Can Help A Friend Who’s Struggling

Ep -21 How to Stop Being Jealous and Teach Your Daughter to Create What She Really Wants with 3 Actionable Solutions

Quote: Eleanor Roosevelt “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Quote: Dr. Kristin Neff “When we give ourselves compassion

Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast has 87 episodes in total of non- explicit content. Total playtime is 11:59:48. The language of the podcast is English. This podcast has been added on November 22nd 2022. It might contain more episodes than the ones shown here. It was last updated on May 16th, 2024 17:41.

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