Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast

Hey Parents,

Are you sometimes bewildered by your daughter’s friendships?

This might be a little TMI, but as a sensitive teenage girl learning how to navigate the complexities of the teen girl social network, I discovered pretty quickly that there were certain people I wasn’t gonna let see ME sweat.

Because being vulnerable was considered a weakness. 

But it turns out, that keeping certain things securely under lock and key weren’t quite as easy as I’d hoped.  

So, I ask you, what happens when your daughter’s toughest social challenge, her frenemy, is part of her tribe?

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast episode #23.

Where we’re going to talk about two social pitfalls your daughter will want to avoid and the one simple skill that’ll keep her socially strong and steady. 

The Frenemy

First, let’s touch on what a frenemy is and what it looks like for teenage girls.

A ‘frenemy’ is defined as “a person that is friendly toward another because the relationship brings benefits, but harbors feelings of resentment or rivalry.” (Dictionary.com)

Does this sound familiar to you? 

If it doesn’t, BUT, you see your daughter always trying to “fix” her social situations, you may want to share a popular article from my website, Cultivating Resilient Teens, titled, 4 Powerful Ways Your Teenage Daughter Can Help A Friend Who’s Struggling

Because although teenage girls are passionate about helping each other, sometimes, even with the best intentions, helpful approaches can backfire. 

If you’re wondering …is my daughter experiencing a frenemy-like relationship, here are two examples that’ll help make sense of the frenemy dynamic.

1.   The frenemy is super nice when she wants to impress others, or the members in her tribe, because of the “perceived” social benefits. 

2.   But one-on-one or in a small group setting where there aren’t any “perceived” social benefits, the frenemy is often manipulative, overly critical, and sometimes downright verbally unkind.

The hard part is this behavior is often the result of resentment or rivalry.

The good news is, if you pull back the layers of resentment and rivalry, the emotions are there to help you learn and grow.

That’s why we offer 3 Actionable Solutions to stop feeling jealous and create what you really want in Podcast Episode #21.

Because for passionate, connection seeking teens, this is tough stuff. 

Find the full Show Notes on my website, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/

Although the teen girl world is complex, can be really confusing and sometimes get ugly, please remember there’s always an opportunity for your daughter to learn and grow by tuning in to her thoughts with compassion. 

Podcast Resources:

4 Powerful Ways Your Teenage Daughter Can Help A Friend Who’s Struggling

Ep -21 How to Stop Being Jealous and Teach Your Daughter to Create What She Really Wants with 3 Actionable Solutions

Quote: Eleanor Roosevelt “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Quote: Dr. Kristin Neff “When we give ourselves compassion

Hey Parents,

Have you heard?

Last week’s podcast Episode #21 "How to Stop Being Jealous and Teach Your Daughter to Create What She Really Wants with 3 Actionable Solutions" seems to have let the cat out of the bag, so to speak.

It sparked a lot of honest and vulnerable conversations because, as parents you know that:

• the painful emotions that come up around jealousy 
• and the feelings of defeat that the comparison gremlins bring on

can be especially hard for teenage girls.

But the good news is, your daughter doesn't have to feel debilitated by these big emotions.

Today's podcast episode #22 will help your daughter see:

• she's not alone
• and give her what SHE needs 

to feel confident enough to take inspired action.

And, handle life's adversities and adventures with integrity.

None of us are immune to feeling big emotions - especially the ANGST that comes from jealousy and comparison.

That’s why we’re sharing the ANSWERS to the two key questions that came out of episode #21.

Q: “What do you mean when you say, don’t be afraid of your emotions?”

Q: “What can you do to stay calm the moment, when you feel super jealous?”

Your daughter deserves to have simple, doable actions that will move her from stuck to clear minded to motivated.

Watching your daughter bloom is one of the greatest gifts a parent gets to experience.

Let’s make sure your daughter has what she needs.

In this together,

Shawna :)

Did you miss Ep. 21? LISTEN IN: Ep -21 How to Stop Being Jealous and Teach Your Daughter to Create What She Really Wants with 3 Actionable Solutions

Podcast Resources:

Ep -21 How to Stop Being Jealous and Teach Your Daughter to Create What She Really Wants with 3 Actionable Solutions

90 Days to a More Resilient Teen

Episode #14 Your Top Question for 2020 Answered “How Can I Help My Teenage Daughter Feel More Confident?”

Discover: Is Your Teen Daughter Resilient Enough for All of Life’s Adventures?

Hey Parents,

Have you heard?

Last week’s podcast Episode #21 "How to Stop Being Jealous and Teach Your Daughter to Create What She Really Wants with 3 Actionable Solutions" seems to have let the cat out of the bag, so to speak.

It sparked a lot of honest and vulnerable conversations because, as parents you know that:

• the painful emotions that come up around jealousy 
• and the feelings of defeat that the comparison gremlins bring on

can be especially hard for teenage girls.

But the good news is, your daughter doesn't have to feel debilitated by these big emotions.

Today's podcast episode #22 will help your daughter see:

• she's not alone
• and give her what SHE needs 

to feel confident enough to take inspired action.

And, handle life's adversities and adventures with integrity.

None of us are immune to feeling big emotions - especially the ANGST that comes from jealousy and comparison.

That’s why we’re sharing the ANSWERS to the two key questions that came out of episode #21.

Q: “What do you mean when you say, don’t be afraid of your emotions?”

Q: “What can you do to stay calm the moment, when you feel super jealous?”

Your daughter deserves to have simple, doable actions that will move her from stuck to clear minded to motivated.

Watching your daughter bloom is one of the greatest gifts a parent gets to experience.

Let’s make sure your daughter has what she needs.

In this together,

Shawna :)

Did you miss Ep. 21? LISTEN IN: Ep -21 How to Stop Being Jealous and Teach Your Daughter to Create What She Really Wants with 3 Actionable Solutions

Podcast Resources:

Ep -21 How to Stop Being Jealous and Teach Your Daughter to Create What She Really Wants with 3 Actionable Solutions

90 Days to a More Resilient Teen

Episode #14 Your Top Question for 2020 Answered “How Can I Help My Teenage Daughter Feel More Confident?”

Discover: Is Your Teen Daughter Resilient Enough for All of Life’s Adventures?

Hey Parents,

Is it possible for your daughter to stop comparing herself and create what SHE really wants?

Yes - that's the good news.

However, I'm hearing A LOT from my private coaching clients that the vast majority of teenage girls are in need of simple, actionable solutions to create:

• a stronger sense of self
• more happiness with who she is
• and true connections with her peers

Because there's a detrimental combination going on ...

comparison + assumptions = confidence killer

As parents, you know there's a natural curiosity to look around and assess yourself with others.

The challenge here, is that so many teenage girls are comparing themselves so deeply that they're losing the ability to discover who they are and what makes them happy.

And the excessive self-criticism and irrational thoughts are causing embarrassing, socially anxious symptoms, such as:

• upset stomach
• shaky voice
• difficulty talking
• blushing

If your daughter experiences a situation similar to this, chances are, she'll go back to looking for connection on-line, where the comparison trap re-starts this vicious cycle. 

And rather than telling your daughter, “you’re just as smart, pretty or athletic as so-and-so.”

Grab the 3 Actionable Solutions, the work of two renowned authors and researchers, and give your daughter the tools she needs to create what SHE really wants.

Podcast Resources:

Dr. Susan David | Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change and Thrive in Work and Life

Dr. John Media | Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home and School

YouTube Video | Marie Forleo with Catherine Collautt, Ph.D. | 4 Steps to Overcome a Devastating Setback

Episode #20 Have You Figured Out Where Your Sweet Little Girl is Going? Two New Resources That’ll Help Ease Her Journey into Adulthood

Hey Parents,

Is it possible for your daughter to stop comparing herself and create what SHE really wants?

Yes - that's the good news.

However, I'm hearing A LOT from my private coaching clients that the vast majority of teenage girls are in need of simple, actionable solutions to create:

• a stronger sense of self
• more happiness with who she is
• and true connections with her peers

Because there's a detrimental combination going on ...

comparison + assumptions = confidence killer

As parents, you know there's a natural curiosity to look around and assess yourself with others.

The challenge here, is that so many teenage girls are comparing themselves so deeply that they're losing the ability to discover who they are and what makes them happy.

And the excessive self-criticism and irrational thoughts are causing embarrassing, socially anxious symptoms, such as:

• upset stomach
• shaky voice
• difficulty talking
• blushing

If your daughter experiences a situation similar to this, chances are, she'll go back to looking for connection on-line, where the comparison trap re-starts this vicious cycle. 

And rather than telling your daughter, “you’re just as smart, pretty or athletic as so-and-so.”

Grab the 3 Actionable Solutions, the work of two renowned authors and researchers, and give your daughter the tools she needs to create what SHE really wants.

Podcast Resources:

Dr. Susan David | Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change and Thrive in Work and Life

Dr. John Media | Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home and School

YouTube Video | Marie Forleo with Catherine Collautt, Ph.D. | 4 Steps to Overcome a Devastating Setback

Episode #20 Have You Figured Out Where Your Sweet Little Girl is Going? Two New Resources That’ll Help Ease Her Journey into Adulthood

Hey Parents,

Have you figured out where your sweet little girl is going?

That's not a trick question.

But, I'll admit, it can be a little tricky to answer.

When I recorded my first podcast, Episode #1 Are You Wondering Where Your Sweet Little Girl Went? 5 Hints to Solve the Mystery I wasn't sure anyone would even listen to it. 

Though, it seems to be a fan favorite, and I'm thinking it may be because as your daughter:

• begins to build her tribe outside the family 
• and emphatically engages you in “discussions” regarding your parenting approach

you’re thinking, “oh boy, what now?”

But I want to assure you that, just like the 5 hints in episode one helped you get a much-needed glimpse into your daughter's teen-girl world, the Two New Resources we’re offering today will help ease her transition into adulthood.

If your daughter is like most teens, you’re likely seeing her: 

• exploring her true identity 
• trying out different personas
• and stretching (or retracting) her wings 

It’s no secret that the self-discovery road isn’t always smooth sailin.’ 

It certainly wasn’t for me.

Though, as your daughter develops a strong sense of self, it’ll make it a little easier and safer to try out new friend groups and activities

And because, simple tools that feel doable promote lasting growth, I'm excited to share today’s two new resources with you:

• Finding your Flow
• Ditching Habitual Autopilot

They're designed to help your daughter gather all the great gems on her path to adulthood.

Go ahead and head over to my website, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/ for the full Podcast and complete Show Notes.

Here's to cultivating  a more resilient teen,

Shawna :)

Podcast Resources:

Episode #1 Are You Wondering Where Your Sweet Little Girl Went? 5 Hints to Solve the Mystery

Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?

Article in Vice.com | Why You Should Talk to Yourself in the Third Person | by Shayla Love | 12.28.2020 | 

YouTube Video | Marie Forleo with Catherine Collautt, Ph.D. | 4 Steps to Overcome a Devastating Setback 

Hey Parents,

Have you figured out where your sweet little girl is going?

That's not a trick question.

But, I'll admit, it can be a little tricky to answer.

When I recorded my first podcast, Episode #1 Are You Wondering Where Your Sweet Little Girl Went? 5 Hints to Solve the Mystery I wasn't sure anyone would even listen to it. 

Though, it seems to be a fan favorite, and I'm thinking it may be because as your daughter:

• begins to build her tribe outside the family 
• and emphatically engages you in “discussions” regarding your parenting approach

you’re thinking, “oh boy, what now?”

But I want to assure you that, just like the 5 hints in episode one helped you get a much-needed glimpse into your daughter's teen-girl world, the Two New Resources we’re offering today will help ease her transition into adulthood.

If your daughter is like most teens, you’re likely seeing her: 

• exploring her true identity 
• trying out different personas
• and stretching (or retracting) her wings 

It’s no secret that the self-discovery road isn’t always smooth sailin.’ 

It certainly wasn’t for me.

Though, as your daughter develops a strong sense of self, it’ll make it a little easier and safer to try out new friend groups and activities

And because, simple tools that feel doable promote lasting growth, I'm excited to share today’s two new resources with you:

• Finding your Flow
• Ditching Habitual Autopilot

They're designed to help your daughter gather all the great gems on her path to adulthood.

Go ahead and head over to my website, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/ for the full Podcast and complete Show Notes.

Here's to cultivating  a more resilient teen,

Shawna :)

Podcast Resources:

Episode #1 Are You Wondering Where Your Sweet Little Girl Went? 5 Hints to Solve the Mystery

Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?

Article in Vice.com | Why You Should Talk to Yourself in the Third Person | by Shayla Love | 12.28.2020 | 

YouTube Video | Marie Forleo with Catherine Collautt, Ph.D. | 4 Steps to Overcome a Devastating Setback 

Hey Parents,

If you were to describe your family in one word, what would it be?

I still remember my nervous excitement the day I went in to talk with my doctor about my husband and I starting a family.

And her response wasn’t what I expected.

She said … “So, you’re ready to give up your 'sick days' for the rest of forever?”

Oh, I hadn’t quite thought of it like that.

Nor did I have any idea about how dynamic raising a family would be – especially the teenage years!

Because, as you know, and you’ve probably heard this before … it’s exciting to watch your daughter grow into her own person, AND it’s hard to let go and lose control. 

Welcome back to Episode #19

Today’s conversation wraps up my Signature Coaching System, 4 Steps to Cultivate Resilient Teens.

If you haven’t yet listened to the 3 previous episodes:

·         Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarios

·         Episode #17 2 Key Tips Every Teen Needs to Create a Meaningful Educational Experience

·         Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?

I think you’ll find them helpful because cultivating a resilient teen is a bit like solving a puzzle – and the previous episodes include pieces you’ll need.

Fostering a Connective Family Life

Okay, today we’re inviting you to:

·         dust off your parenting superpowers - whether you’ve forgotten where they are or they’re covid fatigued

·         and reignite your mojo – those innate gifts that reside in your hard working, dedicated parenting heart

Because after years of doing this work, I’ve identified two core family values that, when present, foster a connective family life.

1. Having a home environment where everyone can be themselves

2. Learning how to find common ground (aka - learning how to peacefully navigate the endless differences of opinion)

Getting stuck in the Weeds

But there are a few sticky points that are worth mentioning.

Most people enter into a conversation thinking they’re right and the other person is wrong. 

So, naturally your daughter may think … if only you would see things the way she does, there’d be peace in the valley. 

And you think, if only she’d listen to you and see the bigger picture – she could save herself a lot of grief and potential pitfalls. 

And before you know it, words of disagreement are a flyin’ and emotions are a blazin’ – as you both try your best to change the other person’s perspective.

And, if you’re like most families, you find yourselves stuck in the weeds and miles away from your key issue or a solution.

3 Superpower’s You Need to Foster a Connective Family Life 

Believe me, I get it.

As a parent I’ve made my fair share of mistakes – and I’m not immune to ups and downs.

However, it’s not helpful or healthy to repeat the same mistakes. 

And you definitely don’t want to let anger or yelling become your knee-jerk reaction.

So, let’s go over the 3 Superpower’s you need to Foster A Connective Family Life (spoiler alert: you already possess them!)

Head over to my website, Cultivating Resili

Hey Parents,

If you were to describe your family in one word, what would it be?

I still remember my nervous excitement the day I went in to talk with my doctor about my husband and I starting a family.

And her response wasn’t what I expected.

She said … “So, you’re ready to give up your 'sick days' for the rest of forever?”

Oh, I hadn’t quite thought of it like that.

Nor did I have any idea about how dynamic raising a family would be – especially the teenage years!

Because, as you know, and you’ve probably heard this before … it’s exciting to watch your daughter grow into her own person, AND it’s hard to let go and lose control. 

Welcome back to Episode #19

Today’s conversation wraps up my Signature Coaching System, 4 Steps to Cultivate Resilient Teens.

If you haven’t yet listened to the 3 previous episodes:

·         Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarios

·         Episode #17 2 Key Tips Every Teen Needs to Create a Meaningful Educational Experience

·         Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?

I think you’ll find them helpful because cultivating a resilient teen is a bit like solving a puzzle – and the previous episodes include pieces you’ll need.

Fostering a Connective Family Life

Okay, today we’re inviting you to:

·         dust off your parenting superpowers - whether you’ve forgotten where they are or they’re covid fatigued

·         and reignite your mojo – those innate gifts that reside in your hard working, dedicated parenting heart

Because after years of doing this work, I’ve identified two core family values that, when present, foster a connective family life.

1. Having a home environment where everyone can be themselves

2. Learning how to find common ground (aka - learning how to peacefully navigate the endless differences of opinion)

Getting stuck in the Weeds

But there are a few sticky points that are worth mentioning.

Most people enter into a conversation thinking they’re right and the other person is wrong. 

So, naturally your daughter may think … if only you would see things the way she does, there’d be peace in the valley. 

And you think, if only she’d listen to you and see the bigger picture – she could save herself a lot of grief and potential pitfalls. 

And before you know it, words of disagreement are a flyin’ and emotions are a blazin’ – as you both try your best to change the other person’s perspective.

And, if you’re like most families, you find yourselves stuck in the weeds and miles away from your key issue or a solution.

3 Superpower’s You Need to Foster a Connective Family Life 

Believe me, I get it.

As a parent I’ve made my fair share of mistakes – and I’m not immune to ups and downs.

However, it’s not helpful or healthy to repeat the same mistakes. 

And you definitely don’t want to let anger or yelling become your knee-jerk reaction.

So, let’s go over the 3 Superpower’s you need to Foster A Connective Family Life (spoiler alert: you already possess them!)

Head over to my website, Cultivating Resili

Hey Parents,

What’s the one thing your daughter has in common with millions of teenage girls around the world?

Every morning when she reaches for her phone - she shares one unmistakable intention! 

In this weeks podcast, we tackle a topic that can sometimes feel overwhelming and painful for teeange girls (and their parents!)

How to build authentic, fun, healthy friendships.

As parents of teenage girls, you’re probably noticing that finding and keeping good friends IS the name of the game right now.

Designing healthy social scenarios is one of the most important rites-of-passage your daughter will encounter over the next few years. 

And, the good news is, she CAN learn how to build friendships that feel safe and good to her. 

But first, she'll need to know what the two biggest elements that have the power to derail or create a great connection.

• Sorting facts from Fiction
• Being authentically you

You'll want to LISTEN IN > 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarios

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen,

Shawna :)

PS - Have you heard? 

“I love that the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast is short enough for busy parents to digest in bits. It’s so helpful to take in a smaller amount of information and apply it instead of feeling overwhelmed by hearing all about the things I should be doing and feeling incapacitated.”

Podcast Resources:

Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?

How to Raise a Socially Intelligent and Resilient Teenager

5 Simple Questions That Will Set Your Teenager Up for Success

Charles Schultz, “Be yourself, no one can say you’re doing it wrong.”

Book: Steal the Show by New York Times Best-Selling author Michael Port

You'll find the full show notes on my website, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/