Safer Stronger Kids - The Podcast

Do you ever find yourself frustrated and flabbergasted at your child’s behaviour? Do you ever wonder why they are still doing what they’re doing, in spite of all the consequences? Are you simply sick and tired of repeating yourself?

If this is what you’re experiencing, this show is for you.

In this episode, we’ll explore where those behaviours are really coming from, and why you’re still seeing them over and over. We’ll talk about how behaviour really is just communication, and what this really means for us, our children, and our parenting. What shifts can you make that lead to actual, tangible change? How can you stop reacting, and start responding? And how can you do so in a way that improves your child’s emotional literacy and resilience?

Let’s dig in!

Got questions? Get in touch! Use this link:  https://bit.ly/3hyOgWU

CONNECT WITH CAROLINE:

Website: www.saferstrongerkids.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/saferstrongerkids

Holly-Ann Martin is the Managing Director of Safe4Kids. Since founding her business in 2007, Holly-Ann has gone above and beyond to achieve her mission: to protect as many children as possible from abuse, both online and in the physical world.Not only does Holly's Safe4Kids program educate and empower children, but it also educates and empowers teachers, educators, parents, and carers. In this episode, I ask Holly-Ann something I've wanted to ask her for a long time. What are the things she wishes every parent and carer knew? What does she think could really, truly make a lifetime of difference for a child? You need to hear what she had to say. Thank you for listening.

Mama, you're not broken! That's what Anna Cusack wants you to know. Anna Cusack is a Motherhood Revolutionist. As an author, podcaster, blogger and speaker, Anna reaches thousands of women every year with evidence-based information and inspirational, actionable content. Anna combines her knowledge in areas such as traditional postpartum care, breastfeeding support, sociology and exercise physiology to guide women through their transition to parenthood and early years of mothering. Her services include postbirth planning, in-home and online postbirth support, and mentoring for mothers and the professionals who work with them. Her book, “Mama, You’re Not Broken: Unmasking the Unspoken Emotions of Modern Motherhood” is due for release in April. You can find her on the “Motherhood Made Magic” podcast, at www.annacusack.com.au, and on her socials as @annacusackpostpartum. It was such a privilege to speak with Anna and help her share her important, reassuring messages about motherhood. Warning: the things she has to say may result in lifelong changes to how you perceive, experience and understand motherhood! Happy listening, Caroline.

A couple of days ago on Instagram, teenage girls started sharing their experiences of sexual harassment at school. The call to action is asking for schools to place sexual consent education at the forefront of educational issues in schools from a young age. I wholeheartedly agree with them - consent education needs to be included, and can be included in an age-appropriate way - from the first years of school onwards. (My belief is that teachers have enough on their plate, and we need social workers trained in these topics visiting every school to deliver these programs). BUT, as parents, we can't expect schools to take on this type of education by themselves. We need to take ownership of the topic at home. We need to lead the way. We are the ones raising our children, and we need to step outside of our comfort zones and step up to the plate. The truth is, most kids can tell you what consent means when you ask them in a classroom. It's their exposure to explicit content across many platforms that is undermining that intellectual understanding. Even if they can explain the idea of consent, their neural pathways are constructed to look for something very different in real life. Tik Tok, Snapchat, and the endless lists of readily available porn sites mean that our kids are viewing wildly inappropriate content at alarming rates, at younger and younger ages, and it is shaping their sexual development. It's resulting in ingrained, subconscious beliefs that we never intended for them. This includes (but isn't limited to), the idea that when girls say NO - they really mean YES. It's treating girls as objects available for pleasure anytime, and it's setting girls AND boys up to believe that violence is an expected, normal part of any sexual encounter. This may be challenging listening, but I can't apologise for that. It's an uncomfortable topic. We can no longer leave our teenagers to manage this on their own. There ARE things we can do to turn this around for them. Let's talk about teaching our kids consent from the very beginning. For more support on teaching kids consent from the start, make sure you're following me at @saferstrongerkids on FB and @saferstronger on Instagram.

Let's be clear: There is no "one sized fits all" approach to transitions like the moment of drop off to kinder and school. Some kids will be quite happy to run in on their own. Some kids will be nervous and worried, but basically ok. Other kids will feel deeply, deeply unsafe. We can't take the same approach for all kids - or we risk doing some of them a grave disservice. We set them up to stay in a place of stress, and in doing so, we risk them being unable to concentrate, learn and connect in the way that they might otherwise have been able to do. If you are about to drop your child off for the first time, or are currently struggling with the transition: this episode is for you. Enjoy! For more evidence-based advice, please follow me at @saferstrongerkids on FB and @saferstronger on Instagram, or check out my website, saferstrongerkids.com.

Have you got a child starting school for the first time? Me too! In this episode, I run through my top 11 tips to help your school starter feel more empowered, and make the transition more easily, on their first day. (And I wonder if they might help you feel more confident and comfortable, too!) I would LOVE to hear from you about how these tips help you navigate the first tricky days of school transition time. You can get in touch with me at [email protected]. Happy listening, Caroline.

"Respect" is a loaded term in parenting. In this episode, I explore what I believe people really mean when they say, "that child needs to learn some respect!". When someone says that - what are the core beliefs they are holding on to about children and respect? What assumptions underpin those core beliefs? Let's go there. Then let's think about what we want the word respect to mean in the future, and how our children are going to learn it from us. When we unpack our subconscious beliefs about respect, we bring them out into the light. We can examine them, and then we can choose. We can ask ourselves if this belief serving us in our parenting, or is it sabotaging us? What do we want to leave behind, and what do we want to take with us? This is tricky, thought-provoking stuff. This session is the first module in my course, "Parenting Without Punishment". The reason for that is because it's often our subconscious beliefs about respect that sabotage our efforts to show up with empathy and love for our children, and that cause us to react with force, shame and punishments. If you'd like to find out more about this course, visit https://bit.ly/3n5K1Ps Thank you so much for joining me.

In this week's episode I answer a question from a listener, who asked "How do I teach my kids about tricky people?". It's a really important question, and one that I wish every parent was asking!

I explore:

What are tricky people?

Why did we start teaching kids about tricky people?

How do we start talking to our kids about them?

And, what's the tricky part about teaching our kids about tricky people?

I hope you find it helpful and I would love to hear your feedback!

Happy listening, 

Caroline. 

In this episode, I reference a book called "Don't let the pigeon drive the bus" by Mo Willems. 

Here is a link to the book: 

Don't Let The Pigeon Drive The Bus https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/1844285138/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_R7v4FbH7JA9M6

Having experienced first hand the risks children face online, Jen Hoey has become an active, dedicated advocate for child safety. Jen is the founder of ‘Not My Kid’, a Facebook group dedicated to parent education. She also volunteers as Parent Awareness Advocate for Youth Wellbeing Project and, as a parent of two teens and a 7 year old, contributes a parent’s voice to the online issues facing parents and caregivers today. Jen is also in the process of studying a degree in Cyber Security and Behaviour. In this episode, Jen and I explored her top three tips to help parents protect their children's experience of childhood.

To join the 'Not My Kid' facebook group, https://www.facebook.com/groups/NotMyKid.parentgroup

Are you parenting alongside a partner? Do you find it harder than you expected? Do the two of you argue about how to parent your kids, and what parenting "should" be like, more than you ever expected? This is a topic most people want to avoid. We can find ourselves looking around and imagining that every other couple is navigating this process more easily than we are, and we feel shame about our own struggles. The shame silences us, making it hard to reach out for help. Let's take a look at the top five reasons why (I believe) parenting together is so hard. My hope is that by shining a light on these reasons, I'll make it easier for you and your partner to sit down and have real conversations about what to do about it. I also hope that I can reassure you - you're not alone. You're not doing anything "wrong". If parenting together is feeling hard... that's because it IS hard. This podcast episode is actually the first module in my next online course, Parenting Partnerships. If you'd like to find out more about that course, visit my website here: https://safer-stronger-kids.newzenler.com/courses/parenting-partnerships.