Mental Wellness Cindy

Nothing holds you back more than your own #insecurities. Do you find yourself dwelling on negative #thoughts about your self, repeatedly putting yourself down, #criticising yourself, comparing yourself to other people you think are perfect? When you make a #mistake, do you think it’s absolutely awful, that anyone else would have done a better job, and it’s an example of some #permanent flaws you have? If so, then like many people, you are often your own worst enemy, #negating everything you do and blowing things up as if your mistakes are the worst that anyone can #imagine. This is due to the self critical voice that defeats you before you start, robs you of any credit for anything that you do, and makes you #afraid of trying anything because you fear the #loathing and #regret that will follow. So what are some #techniques you can use to defeat this self critical voice, so that you can feel better about being a real human being: 1) Add a #positive self message to an image- put it on your phone, laptop, bathroom mirror and message board. 2) Look in the mirror- smile and #compliment your self on one quality or trait you like. 3) Remind yourself- no one can do everything but everyone can do something. 4) Send yourself a loving text- keep it and re-read it often. 5) Keep a self praise journal- each time you feel pleased by something you have done or said jot it down, make a voice memo on your phone. 6) Recognise where your voices come from- in a lot of cases the voices are expressing #attitudes that were directed towards us as children. This inner critical #voice plays different roles in different people’s lives. For some they do keep them on track but for a majority of us, they #stop us from even starting. What does your inner voice do for you. Whatever your inner voice does for you, I always start with identifying whose voice it is I am hearing, and then work through the issue that is bringing it up. It’s a #daily #struggle. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself. So work hard to break through.

Create growth and change. Increase your capacity to produce and handle the challenges around you.

If you have a dream of something you want to achieve the make sure your actions meet you ambition

Nothing in life is free. Nothing happens overnight and in case you missed it. There is no overnight success.

A salary is a drug they give you when they want you to forget about your dreams. The fear of failure in an entrepreneurs path, is the most important motivator they have got. This is because they start their journey by saying i am going to quit the security of a salary. This is because it is very easy to stay in that world where somebody is mitigating your risk. You just have to perform certain tasks, do them well for a third of your day and they will feed you a salary and you do not have to think about anything else and that for a lot of people works. There is nothing wrong with that, great employees are extremely valuable to building enterprises. But when you leave that path you put at risk income that you need to eat with, and that fear of failure is an extremely motivating factor to keep you going on this different journey. So how is an entrepreneur defined , it is somebody that understands that they are responsible for every single failure and everything stops at them. They are somebody who needs to figure something out. Its somebody who thinks outside the box and when everyone else says no they say yes. Entrepreneurship gives you freedom and the ability to be your own boss. However as an entrepreneur you can make mistakes, and the worst mistake you can make is to not admit your failures and continue to try and resusitate a project with yours and other peoples money. Have a time limit for every project. 3-5 years is what most gurus suggest. So what indicators can you use to measure success? This is different for different people. It could be the money you are making or that the idea is getting traction with the customers or how many people use the platform. But when something does not work out embrace the failure, embrace the lose and remember the lessons of why it failed. Then move on to the next thing. Do not let failure demotivate you. This message is important because 80-90% of start ups fail. Realise something is not working before it kicks ou out of the game for GOOD! You can recover from small mistakes. Entrepreneurship is about taking responsibility for your actions and understanding that there are many people that will help you in regards to your succes, but only you will be the one that is responsible for your failures. So just remember you might not succeed at first but even the best entrepreneurs failed at first, so go ahead and take your swings it is what the greats do.

Small consistent actions taken on a daily basis are the most helpful

It all comes down to one choice, risk or regret. You either take the intelligent risk, or wish you had. You take the risk or suffer the regret. What is worse, the pain of risk or regret? Now i am no expert, but i think the answer should be obvious. Now just because it is obvious, does not always mean it is the easiest answer to make. Some decisions are hard to make, some are a no brainier. Going out on a limb can be downright terrifying, but sometimes the biggest leaps are also the ones that are worth making. To get you started here are 5 risks you will never regret taking: 1) Saying No- be selective about the things you engage with, so you can be really present for the stuff that you are doing. Trying to accomplish too much will stress you out in the process. 2) Being Yourself- being who you truly are, drawing your energy from that true core will make you more powerful and will enable you to do things your way. 3) Taking that trip across the country (or across the globe)- its no secret that planning a trip can help boost your emotional wellness. 4) Speaking up at work- it may be scary sharing your ideas with everyone in your company meeting, but a consistent voice at work is key to growth and success. 5) Asking for help- by asking for help you are not being weak, you are being strong. Our genes and our socialization favor us to be risk averse. Our distant ancestors learned and we know that jumping off cliffs and running toward bears usually does not work out well. Its proven that we take mental shortcuts, have biases and are ensared by mental traps that lead us away from taking risks whether we know it at the time or even in retrospect. We however take 'good' risks because regret is a powerful emotion. We dont want to feel regret and seek to avoid it, we not only can feel regret after making a choice, regret that we did not choose what might have been a better option, but we are capable of forecasting our future regret and taking action now to avoid future regret for not acting. Its about knowing when to make a tuff call and taking a leap of faith. Write down a risk you are considering. Everything is scary until you do it. So what is your choice going to be?

Sibling rivalry, aaaaaaah!!!! If you a parent or relative or friend to anyone with siblings who constantly fight, or you are a sibling who fought constantly, you know where i am coming from. Sibling rivalry is a type of competition or animosity among siblings. Siblings generally spend more time together during childhood than they do with parents. Their bond is often complicated and is influenced by factors such as parental treatment, birth order, personality and people and experiences outside the family. Sibling rivalry is particularly intense when children are very close in age and of the same gender and or where one or both children are intellectually gifted. It is a concern for almost all parents of two o more children. Problems often start right after the birth of the second child. It usually continues throughout childhood and can be very frustrating and stressful to parents. What causes sibling rivalry? 1) Each child is competing to define who they are 2) Children feel they are getting unequal amounts of your attention, discipline and responsibility. 3) A child's development stages will affect how mature they are and how they share your attention and get along 4) Developmental disorders such as Autism and other illnesses. 5) Stress in the parents 6) Stress in children's lives can shorten their fuses and decrease their ability to tolerate frustration, leading to more conflict What can you do 1) Do not play favorites 2) Do not compare your children e.g. your brother gets better grades 3) Set your kids up to cooperate rather than compete 4) Do not get involved, of course step in if there is a danger of physical harm 5) Set ground rules for acceptable behaviour I certainly needed to research and hear this message today as my sons are currently going through this phase. I hope like some they will grow out of this and form a close lasting relationship. Till then the parenting journey continues.

Everyone needs to vent occasionally. But is complaining helpful and does it work? Complaining changes the balance of negative/positive energy and for a brief moment at least, we feel better. Its actually a pretty reliable process. Addictive even. Which is a problem (beyond even the wasted time). Like just about all addictions we are feeding the spin of a destructive, never ending cycle. Life is stressful, and complaining may be considered by many as an extension of being absolutely normal. However complaining affects our brains and our physical health negatively. A sense of sadness or melancholy is increased, along with real dissatisfaction with our daily lives. Negative stress can also make chronic health problems worse. You are also more likely to get headaches, joint pain and depression. One way of dealing with these symptoms is through learning how to stop useless complaining. And how can you do this i hear you ask 1) Keep moving forward 2) Be responsible 3) Be less judgemental 4) Be assertive 5) Be more mindful 6) Learn to adapt 7) Nourish a positive attitude The good news is that you can train your brain to stop complaining. This goal is possible to accomplish in a short space of time. Another important step is defining why you are complaining. Take a step back to really think about what’s bothering you. Is there a valid reason for the complaint? Are you complaining merely for the sake of complaining? Is there an action you can take to resolve the problem? There will always be something to complain about. But next time you are stressed take a step back, inhale and laugh. Remember who you are and why you are here. You are never given anything in this world that you can not handle. Be strong, be flexible. Love yourself and love others. Always remember just keep moving forward!

Sometimes life is just hard and i do not know about you, but some days i ask myself if what i am doing is even worth it and on really bad days if i am even worth it. Well guess what? You are worth it .Yes YOU!! You are worth it and here's why 1) Because You care 2) Because You make a difference 3) Because you are an advocate for growth 4) Because You put community over competition 5) Because You help others 6) Because You are different and that's okay 7) Because You give it your all The problem with self worth though, is not that others will challenge it. The problem with self worth is that we continuously challenge ourselves: 1) Am i good enough? 2) Do i deserve that much pay? 3) What if they think i am greedy? 4) What if they think i am a bargain and not take me seriously? 5)What if they reject me? 6) Worse yet what if they accept me but i fail to meet their needs? But what if something goes right?!? You will never know if you do not give yourself a chance. I would rather try and be rejected than live thinking "what if" for the rest of my life. To go for it means to believe in yourself. It is impossible for you to own your self worth if you have not convinced yourself of what that is, regardless of others opinions. If you want to be valuable you must not just think but believe that you are valuable. So remember you are worth it. You are worth the time out to pamper yourself. You are worth the money to get you something nice. Allow yourself to love yourself. It is hard trust me and it does not come easy, but once you learn that you are worth it, then you will thrive in every aspect of your life.