Ridiculous Romance

In medieval times, it was pretty common for a wife to be in charge of home defense when her husband was away. But maybe no wife ever took on that responsibility with quite as much pizzazz as Agnes of Dunbar. With only a few soldiers and fewer supplies, she managed to hold off the Earl of Salisbury for five months, all while humiliating him with sick burns and grade-A trolling. Eventually the Earl became a laughingstock and Agnes became a legend.

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We've learned about John Wilmot's incredibly libertine life, but it's time to strap in and strap-on for some of his full, filthy, 17th century poems in this episode-length Poetry Corner! First Wilmot spurts beautiful rhymes a bit early in his premature ejaculation poem, "The Imperfect Enjoyment." Then in "The Disabled Debauchee" an old man hopes the next generation will be even more lecherous and dirty than he was. And finally, a warning to men to step up their game in the bedroom, lest they be outperformed by "Signior Dildo"!

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John Wilmot was a lusty lord who wrote some of the dirtiest poetry in the Restoration era about everything from dildos to public sex to premature ejaculation! He also abducted an heiress, pretended to be a gynecologist, trained one of the great tragic actresses of the day, and had affairs with men and women alike. All his drunken shenanigans constantly got him into trouble with King Charles II, but his charm and way with words always got him welcomed back… until they didn’t.

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Roy & Silo were two male penguins who paired up and raised a chick named Tango in 1999. Since then, biologists have discovered that same-sex activity is actually very common in nature! But both scientists and LGBTQ+ activists tend to discourage “gay” as a label for animals, because it’s not really a parallel to the human experience. Is that going to stop us from imagining Roy & Silo living their truths and their best lives? Absolutely not!

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After William Dorsey Swann was freed from slavery, he found joy in becoming a female impersonator & throwing underground parties he called "drag balls," where he was the "queen" - making him the very first Drag Queen. But that’s not all - his parties got busted up by the cops frequently, and Swann fought back both physically and politically, which also makes him the earliest documented LGBTQ+ rights activist!

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What’s in a name? When it comes to Aloha and Walter Wanderwell, their name said it all: they drove across four continents in the 1920s before many places even had roads! Aloha was known as “the Amelia Earhart of the open road,” while Walter was known as “a scam artist.” They survived war-torn territories, bandits, plane crashes, and even J. Edgar Hoover in their quest to see - and film - the world. But the Captain’s schemes and lies eventually got him murdered, placing Aloha herself among the suspects!

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Maybe a lot of “how did y’all meet” stories are a great time for a nap, but not these three remarkable pairs. Their origin stories defy logic, reason, and even the entire Soviet Union! From the miraculous meetup on a New York train, to the artist who crafted his perfect partner into existence, to the Russian lovers who found each other after decades apart, these stories remind us that just because a romance is ridiculous, it doesn’t have to be a disaster!

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Ferdinand VII was a bad person, a lousy husband, and has been called the worst king of Spain ever. But the intense political turmoil of the time has been historically overshadowed by the legacy of his big, weirdly shaped, uncontrollable penis. His four wives (all named Maria) each had terrible experiences with his dastardly dong, because if the anatomy wasn’t challenging enough, the guy behind it was the REAL dick.

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One of the world’s greatest TV hosts, Alex Trebek, is known for his composure, diction, and knowledge. But it turns out behind that prestigious facade is a foul mouth prankster who married a Playboy Bunny! Don’t worry, he’s still got a heart of gold, and through his second wife and soulmate Jean, we learn that he’s truly the loving, kind, intelligent guy we all hoped he was. Plus, we’ll learn about several other couples who met while competing on Jeopardy!

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Television History for $500, please! The answer is: This couple revitalized a broken format by developing one of the most popular quiz shows of all time: Jeopardy! Though one man is credited with the show’s creation, its famous answer/question format was actually an idea from his wife! Unfortunately, the fame and fortune rocked the foundation of this couple’s marriage.
If you said “Julann and Merv Griffin,” then I’m sorry, your response must be in the form of a question. Don’t worry, you’ll still be going home with a copy of this episode!

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