She Wants More

When She Wants More host Jo Piazza landed an interview with the author Molly Winter about her new memoir discussing her open marriage she knew it had to go into our podcast feed.

Molly Winter recently hit the New York Times bestseller list with her account of the first ten years of opening up her marriage when her children were young. She is still happily married and she says her marriage and sex life is better than ever because she has been able to explore more facets of herself with her partners.

Molly's account of the first 10 years of her open marriage is raw and honest and eye-opening. It has plenty of lessons for people who don't want to open up their marriages, but who do want to figure out how to be a better partner and how to follow their passions and desires as a wife and a mother.

Society loves putting women into boxes, but the truth is that we want more and sharing these stories is the only way we can change the way the world sees us and treats us.

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Jack Kerouac but make it a girl with braids. Carrie Bradshaw, but without the sex, and also braids. An American Icon. An American Odyssey. American propaganda. Violently so, in some cases. Laura Ingalls Wilder is evergreen. For better or worse. Since the first Little House book was published in 1932, generations of readers have flocked to Laura’s cozy stories of the Ingalls family settling the Western frontier. The series inspired a TV show, pageants, and entire fashion lines. Behind this franchise is a woman who experienced almost a full century of American history. She’d made her first trips in a covered wagon, and eventually flew on a jet plane. Laura Ingalls Wilder’s life and legacy remain as powerful, mesmerizing, controversial, and violent as the America she represents. In a country currently at odds with itself and its history could there be a better time for an exploration of this woman? Listen to WIlder on the iHeartRadio App or wherever you get your podcasts. https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-wilder-112847598/

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In the final episode of “She Wants More” we look at the darker side of an affair. While many of the women we talked with found empowerment and fulfillment through infidelity, today’s guest, “Karen” has a different kind of story. "Karen" fell in love with her kid's pediatrician when she was married to another man. She had an affair, left her husband and got married. But then, her story took an unexpected twist, leaving her devastated and vindictive. Her story serves as a reminder of the real stakes of choosing infidelity and the lies we often tell ourselves in the moment in order to justify our actions. Susan Shapiro Barash shares her final thoughts.

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Twenty years ago you'd need to meet someone in person to cheat. Now, technology has enabled women to carefully curate and select available men on any number of digital dating or social media websites, and hide their indiscretions through a number of different tools. Affairs can be conducted in real life or entirely virtually. 

In this episode, technology and relationship expert, Dr. Jaclyn Cravens Pickens, explains all the different ways women use technology to step out on their husbands – and why technology makes the boundaries of what it means to have an affair blurrier than ever before. We also talk to "Olivia" who had an affair with a former work colleague that took place entirely over her phone, often with her husband sitting right beside her.

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More and more women are seeing multiple partners outside of their marriage without lying to their spouses. While an open marriage may not be an affair in the traditional sense, it is another way for women to explore what they want and need from a partner without the lying and subterfuge. 

This week's guest "Alice" craved new bodies, new excitement, new experiences, and like many of the women we've talked to in previous episodes, she decided to step out on her husband to find what she wanted. But after Alice had her first sexual encounter outside of her marriage, she chose to tell her husband the truth – and ask him if she could do it again. Now, Alice and her husband are in an open marriage. So, can open marriages be the answer for some women who are considering having an affair? Jo is also joined by Dr. Ashley Thompson and Dr. Lori Gottlieb to weigh in on the positive impact that communication can have on a relationship.

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In the past couple of years the media has positioned women’s exploration of sex, passion, and desire, as a form of "self-care" -- a wellness practice that helps them feel better about themselves. Today's guest "Michelle" breaks down how her affairs, particularly one with a sexy personal trainer, have become a form of self-care for her. She says they make her feel better and take better care of herself. 

So, can an affair be another form of self-care, like yoga, meditation, or dry brushing? Is an orgasm with someone who isn't your spouse an actual wellness practice, or do women just need to justify their desires as self-care in order to fully realize those desires without shame? Alexandra Fine, sexologist and creator of Dame, a pleasure products company, weighs in.

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Loneliness is an epidemic in America, even for people who are married. It is a major driver of depression and it can drive people to desperate measures to feel less lonely, including having an affair.

This week's guest "Sabrina" didn't initiate her affair because she wasn't feeling fulfilled sexually -- she was feeling neglected by her husband and lonely and friendless. The man she is having an affair with has since become her best friend and she can't imagine her life without him. Now she worries about what will happen to her if he ever chooses to end their affair, or if her husband, who supports her financially, finds out about her infidelity. Jo is also joined by psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz and therapist Dr. Lori Gottlieb who both share their thoughts on loneliness and infidelity.

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Can one partner give you everything? In this episode, we talk to "Monique,” a woman in her fifties who was happy with her husband, but not getting her sexual needs fulfilled by him. "Monique" decided to explore her sexuality and desires outside of her marriage and her affairs have made her a better mother, a better wife, and helped her regain the identity she felt she lost after kids. She says that she thinks her husband might suspect she is having these affairs, but that he doesn't mind because of how they make her a better and more grounded person. Dr. Gail Saltz also joins to discuss the impact motherhood has on women’s sexual desire and we speak with sex expert Dr. Ashley Thompson who breaks down the myth that your spouse should be able to fulfill every one of your needs – a falsehood that can place a lot of pressure on a partner.

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Affairs have always been more dangerous for women than men. Throughout history women have faced persecution, shame and sometimes even death for cheating on their husbands. But are women still judged more harshly than men for cheating?  In this episode, Jo is joined by cultural critic and anthropologist, Wednesday Martin, to explore the origins of shame surrounding female sexuality. We then meet "Catie," who had to move to a new city and get a new job to escape the fallout from her affair with her husband's best friend.

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On the cusp of her seven year wedding anniversary, host Jo Piazza begins her investigation into female infidelity. For so long the trajectory for women has been that we would be good daughters, good wives, good mothers and good caretakers. But contemporary women have more choices and options and frankly they want more. In fact, the rate of infidelity among women has reportedly risen by about 40% since the early 1990s, while the rate of male infidelity has remained pretty much the same. So, what’s going on?

In this episode Jo meets "Nikki,” a mom of two in her thirties who had a marriage that looked great on paper, but was lacking the desire and passion she craved. When she looked for those two things outside of her marriage, she not only found the hottest sex she had ever had, but it also made her question why men have been allowed to call all the shots in relationships for so long. Jo also speaks with Susan Shapiro Barash, whose book this podcast is based on, and asks her what she’s learned from 30 years of research on female infidelity.

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