Church of Lazlo Podcasts

*What do Fleshlights and pick-up lines have in common? Not much but we manage to weave them together somehow. Guys, quit saying weird creepy things to women. You can hide behind those dating apps but eventually you're going to have to actually meet people. Before we send you out into the wild, let's go over a few things that work and a lot of things that don't.

*Thanks for listening to this week's jaw jacking session. If you didn't join us on twitch for the live recording, please do so next time! www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo

*Thanks to our friends at www.mitra-9.com Remember to use the promo code PROBLEMATIC at checkout. You'll save money and help us out at the same time.

*Slim wants to thank Dick Ray Plumbing Heating & Cooling for finally fixing his AC. Service your AC now before it's hot or fix your AC now before your lady friend dumps you. Contact Us | Dick Ray Air Conditioning, Heating, Plumbing, Drains® (dickraymasterplumber.com)

*Thanks to Direct Computer Outlet for making this podcast and our livestream possible. If you need computer or phone stuff, look no further. You'll save money, plus the staff couldn't be nicer and more helpful.

*Once again, Lazlo and Slimfast are fighting over the same handyman. Once again, Lazlo is making inappropriate comments about Slim's mom. Once again, Slim is overreacting.

*The greatest year for each rock genre. Many say that 1994 was the greatest year for alternative rock. There's plenty of evidence to prove that 1991 was the best year for grunge. There seems to be more debate about the best year for classic rock.

*Arizona governor signs a bill to repeal 1864 ban on most abortions.

*The Florida Trash Bros who thought it would be cute to dump garbage into the ocean are being hunted down by authorities. Video shows boaters dumping trash into the ocean in Boca Raton (youtube.com)

*Trump is on the campaign trail, trashing the judge in his hush money trial.

*Lazlo is going to try and make things work with Cher.

*Baby Reindeer might be the biggest show on television and the creators are begging people to stop looking up the real-life inspirations for the characters. Video Ad (youtube.com)

*Thanks for listening to the podcast. Please leave a review, tell a friend, and join us each weekday on twitch at 2p central. www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo Have a great day and we'll see you tomorrow.

-Everybody Wang Chung!!!

www.lazlo.church

www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo

www.reddit.com/r/churchoflazlo

*Face tattoos, gauged ears, and other cool things you should do at 18.

*What's your airplane booze of choice? How Every State Takes Their Plane Refreshments [2024 Survey] (upgradedpoints.com)

*The Celebrity Net Worth Game! Lazlo is effing good at this.

*Biden wants to stop classifying marijuana as a schedule 1 narcotic.

*Trump was fined in court and threatened with jail time.

*An emergency slide from a Boeing airplane fell off mid-flight and landed in the yard of a lawyer already suing Boeing! The matrix gets glitchy sometimes.

*Dave and Busters says they will soon allow you to bet real money on arcade games.

*Flirting on social media leads to a first date. First date leads to seduction from Crystal and then gunfire... from Crystal. Slimfast seems to think this is the stuff of fantasies. Man 'dodges bullets' as love interest 'pulls handgun' on first date 'attempted murder' (msn.com)

*Remembering the time Lazlo and Slim got hotel rooms next to each other and Lazlo got busted crawling into Slim's room from the balcony.

*Thanks for listening to the podcast. Please leave a review, tell a friend, and join us each weekday on twitch at 2p central. www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo Have a great day and we'll see you tomorrow.

-Everybody Wang Chung!!!

www.lazlo.church

www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo

www.reddit.com/r/churchoflazlo

*Lazlo was really hoping someone would have watched Baby Reindeer by now.

*This NCAA antitrust lawsuit could change college sports drastically.

*Why is shopping for a car such a daunting task?

*People hate the new MLB uniforms, and it looks like Nike will do something about it.

*We know who the $1.3 billion Power Ball winner is and he's going to use the money to...finally get healthcare for his terminal illness.

*Would you trade your hapiness and sense of wellbeing to lose weight?

*Patrick Mahomes has fully embraced the villain role and we love it!

*It's been a couple of years but Slimfast is finally back with a Slim Fact!

*If you joined us on twitch today (www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo) Slimfast finally revealed his head injury.

*Thanks for listening to the podcast. Please leave a review, tell a friend, and join us each weekday on twitch at 2p central. www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo Have a great day and we'll see you tomorrow.

-Everybody Wang Chung!!!

www.lazlo.church

www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo

www.reddit.com/r/churchoflazlo

*Slim is asked to explain his head injury, but perhaps the head injury explains Slim.

*The Super Bowl might finally be moved to a three-day weekend.

*Sexsomnia: What is it and how do I use it as an excuse to get out of embarrassing situations?

*Would your opinions about Candidate A change if you learned that they shot their pet dog?

*The White House Correspondents Dinner was this weekend and Biden "roasted" Trump. So of course, Trump fake-tweeted about it.

*Your car might know more about you than your parents and your phone.

*A woman waiting to be seated at a restaurant spots a teen in a short skirt. Thinking the skirt is a threat to the wellbeing of children, the woman decides to ____. Alleged Utah employee charged with sexual battery after skirt-dispute video goes viral | KSL.com

*Some dads kiss their sons on the lips. Some dads nibble their sons' earlobes on live tv. Cops investigate viral video of man 'nibbling boy's ear' at World Snooker Championship (msn.com)

*Thanks for listening to the podcast. Please leave a review, tell a friend, and join us each weekday on twitch at 2p central. www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo Have a great day and we'll see you tomorrow.

-Everybody Wang Chung!!!

www.lazlo.church

www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo

www.reddit.com/r/churchoflazlo

*No one forces you to dress like an old person. Slimfast chooses to with his driving loafers.

*What is old age in 2024? Our ideas of what qualifies as being "old" have changed a lot over the years.

*Weinstein's New York conviction has been overturned in appeals court.

*Snowcone submits his application to be a "Wookie Rookie" and make $1,000 for watching Star Wars movies.

*Tennessee is closer to arming teachers with guns. Reality is stranger than fiction.

*The once in a lifetime cicada brood is coming soon.

*Can technology save our planet and our species? The new commercially available flamethrowing robot dog sure gives us hope.

*The best love story we've heard in years involves a GrubHub driver and fried pickles.

*Thanks for listening to the podcast. Please leave a review, tell a friend, and join us each weekday on twitch at 2p central. www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo Have a great day and we'll see you tomorrow.

-Everybody Wang Chung!!!

www.lazlo.church

www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo

www.reddit.com/r/churchoflazlo

*Lazlo assumes everyone starts their morning with a :58-minute MLB recap of the previous day.

*The Mount Rushmore of Hollywood Action Heroes

*Millennials are taking over retirement communities with golf courses.

*The FTC just voided our contracts. Slimfast doesn't know what The Chamber of Commerce is.

*A father from Oklahoma is experiencing a travel nightmare. Seriously, I am going to have nightmares about this guy's predicament now.

*Thanks for listening to the podcast. Please leave a review, tell a friend, and join us each weekday on twitch at 2p central. www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo Have a great day and we'll see you tomorrow.

-Everybody Wang Chung!!!

www.lazlo.church

www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo

www.reddit.com/r/churchoflazlo

*Was 16 the best of the teen years?

*Slimfast wanted to open a night club.

*Four years after the lockdowns from COVID, and people still want to live in a van.

*Best Grandma Ever helps beat up her granddaughter's bully at school.

*Looks like the Tik Tok "ban" will reach Biden's desk soon.

*Jelly Roll quit social media because he got tired of being called fat.

*Alec Baldwin vs Crackhead Barney

*Stop rinsing off your shredded cheese.

*Thanks for listening to the podcast. Please leave a review, tell a friend, and join us each weekday on twitch at 2p central. www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo Have a great day and we'll see you tomorrow.

-Everybody Wang Chung!!!

www.lazlo.church

www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo

www.reddit.com/r/churchoflazlo

*Lazlo gives us a full report on his maiden trip to Topeka and what he thinks of the capital city.

*What's the over-under on Lazlo getting his tag renewed before they expire? It all depends on whether or not Snowcone is willing to go to the DMV for Him.

*Slim wants to know why the elderly widow living next door won't invite him into her house at night.

*Taylor Swift broke all the records you'd expect her to break.

*Tom Brady is getting roasted.

*Harry Styles will sleep easier knowing that his biggest fan has been arrested.

*Did your parents wash your mouth out with soap? I thought every parent did that!

*Thanks for listening to the podcast. Please leave a review, tell a friend, and join us each weekday on twitch at 2p central. www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo Have a great day and we'll see you tomorrow.

-Everybody Wang Chung!!!

www.lazlo.church

www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo

www.reddit.com/r/churchoflazlo